Title: Whose Line Is It Anyway? Harry Potter Style!
Author: Zandramas
Summary: The title says it all, I believe! PG for suggestive content (we
all know how that goes on Whose Line!!).
Chapter 1: Weird Newscasters
Disclaimer: I don't own anything!!! The wonderfully brilliant J.K. Rowling owns the characters; ABC owns the show; and jedi-hobbit owns the idea (go read that fic when you're finished mine; I laughed my ass off!!!!!!!).
A/N: By the way, Ron Weasley is the host. As if you couldn't tell by the first line.:-)
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Ron: Good evening, everybody, and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway? Harry Potter Style! One tonight's show: I found him in a cupboard . . . Harry Potter!
*Harry grins widely at the camera*
Ron: This one I picked up sitting on a leprechaun . . . Seamus Finnegan!
*Seamus gives a toothy, Lockhart-like grin*
Ron: I discovered her under a book . . . Hermione Granger!
*Hermione is smiling prettily and twinkling her fingers at the camera*
Ron: And this guy turned up in detention . . . Lee Jordan!
*Lee does the stupid car salesman/TV-game-show-host wink-and-smile combination*
Ron: And I'm your host, Ron Weasley. Come on down; let's have some fun! *Ron runs down to his desk from a seat next to a pretty girl in the audience* Hey, welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway? Harry Potter Style, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points are just like Slytherin's Quidditch team!
*The audience groans and some laugh*
Ron: Oh, what??? It's not like any of them are here!
*Audience laughs*
Ron: Heh . . . Anyway, let's get the show started! Our first game tonight is . . . Weird Newscasters! This is for all four of you. Lee, you're the news anchor. Hermione, you're Lee's ditzy girlfriend that expects to be proposed to on your date. Harry, you're doing the sports, and you think . . . hahaha . . . you're bored with life one second and then furiously angry with everyone the next.
*Harry looks at Ron incredulously and runs over to his desk, where he grabs the notecard where this is written and looks at it. He shakes his head and sits back down*
Ron: See? And you thought I was lying . . . Hahahahaha. And last but not least, Seamus, you are doing the weather and you are a zookeeper frantically trying to sedate a killer monkey.
Seamus: What???
Ron: That's what it says. *shrugs*
*Harry, Lee, Seamus, and Hermione get into their places*
Ron: Lee, whenever you hear the music, go ahead and start.
*Newscast music plays*
Lee: Hello. I'm Lee K. Fawcett and welcome to the six fifty-seven news. Hogwarts headmaster Albus Dumbledore is deluged with mail as rumours abound, saying that he wears no clothes under those long robes of his. When asked, Dumbledore declined comment, pulled his robe tighter around him, and shuffled off slowly and carefully, so his robe wouldn't open.
*Audience laughs*
Lee: And now to my lovely co-anchor, Hermione Reallyreallysmartgirl. Hermione?
Hermione: *smiles like an airhead and twirls a lock of hair around her finger* Um, like, hi, Lee. *giggles* Um, I'm having a really great time tonight. Uh, like, you know, being here . . . with you . . . on TV . . . for sure . . .
Lee: Um, Hermione? You're supposed to be giving the news, not talking to me.
Hermione: Huh?
Lee: I can't talk to you like this. Tell the viewers at home the news.
Hermione: *getting more and more anxious and starts hyperventilating* What do you mean, you can't talk to me like this? I thought you loved me! I thought we were going to be together forever!
Lee: Shh, we'll talk later. And-
Hermione: *getting very distraught and starts shrieking* What do you mean, we'll talk later???? No, we're going to talk-
Lee: *taps Hermione on the head with his hand* Sleep.
*Hermione's head drops to her chest*
Lee: And now, after that very stimulating report, let's take it over to sports with Harry Stick. Harry?
Harry: *in a bored voice* Thank you, Lee. In sports news, the Gryffindor Quidditch team won . . . again. The Slytherin Quidditch team lost to Gryffindor . . . again. And no one really cares about Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, so-
*Harry stops mid-sentence, looks enraged, and storms out to a random member of the audience *
Harry: ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME?!?!?!?! ARE YOU . . . LAUGHING . . . AT ME?!?!?!
*Audience Member looks scared and tries to say no, but is laughing too hard*
Harry: WHY ARE YOU LAU- *bored voice* Never mind, I don't care.
*Walks back up to his place on stage*
Harry: *In a bored voice* Back to you, Lee.
Lee: Erm . . . right. Thank you for that . . . uh . . . highly educative report, Harry.
Harry: *in a bored voice* Yeah . . . Whatever . . .
*Hermione bursts out sobbing and screaming incomprehensibly*
Lee: Okay! Now, over to the weather with . . . I can't remember his name . . . The Weather Guy!
Seamus: Thank you, Lee. Now, as you can see here *gestures at imaginary weather chart* We have a few cold fronts coming in-no, get back *Pokes imaginary animal away with imaginary pointer* with a warm-I said get back. Please get back! *Pokes imaginary animal multiple times and then sighs* Thank you. Good Bozo. Good carnivorous, man-eating killer monkey-how did I end up by myself? *Falls to the ground, pretending to fight off an imaginary animal* AHHHHHH!!!! NOOOOOO!!! *Pretends to throw off animal, only to have it leap right back onto him again* Back-to-you-Lee!
Lee: Yes, thank you, The Weather Guy. Well, that's all the time we have for today. Stay tuned for "When Killer Monkeys Attack".
*Newscaster music plays and then dies down*
*All the performers return to their seats*
Ron: Hey, that was great. Uhh . . . a thousand and eight points to you all.
*Performers looked impressed*
Harry: Wow. Do you want something?
Ron: Hahahahaha. Okay, for our next game . . .
A/N: So??? What do you guys think? Any requests for future games??? Drop me a line!
Chapter 1: Weird Newscasters
Disclaimer: I don't own anything!!! The wonderfully brilliant J.K. Rowling owns the characters; ABC owns the show; and jedi-hobbit owns the idea (go read that fic when you're finished mine; I laughed my ass off!!!!!!!).
A/N: By the way, Ron Weasley is the host. As if you couldn't tell by the first line.:-)
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Ron: Good evening, everybody, and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway? Harry Potter Style! One tonight's show: I found him in a cupboard . . . Harry Potter!
*Harry grins widely at the camera*
Ron: This one I picked up sitting on a leprechaun . . . Seamus Finnegan!
*Seamus gives a toothy, Lockhart-like grin*
Ron: I discovered her under a book . . . Hermione Granger!
*Hermione is smiling prettily and twinkling her fingers at the camera*
Ron: And this guy turned up in detention . . . Lee Jordan!
*Lee does the stupid car salesman/TV-game-show-host wink-and-smile combination*
Ron: And I'm your host, Ron Weasley. Come on down; let's have some fun! *Ron runs down to his desk from a seat next to a pretty girl in the audience* Hey, welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway? Harry Potter Style, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points are just like Slytherin's Quidditch team!
*The audience groans and some laugh*
Ron: Oh, what??? It's not like any of them are here!
*Audience laughs*
Ron: Heh . . . Anyway, let's get the show started! Our first game tonight is . . . Weird Newscasters! This is for all four of you. Lee, you're the news anchor. Hermione, you're Lee's ditzy girlfriend that expects to be proposed to on your date. Harry, you're doing the sports, and you think . . . hahaha . . . you're bored with life one second and then furiously angry with everyone the next.
*Harry looks at Ron incredulously and runs over to his desk, where he grabs the notecard where this is written and looks at it. He shakes his head and sits back down*
Ron: See? And you thought I was lying . . . Hahahahaha. And last but not least, Seamus, you are doing the weather and you are a zookeeper frantically trying to sedate a killer monkey.
Seamus: What???
Ron: That's what it says. *shrugs*
*Harry, Lee, Seamus, and Hermione get into their places*
Ron: Lee, whenever you hear the music, go ahead and start.
*Newscast music plays*
Lee: Hello. I'm Lee K. Fawcett and welcome to the six fifty-seven news. Hogwarts headmaster Albus Dumbledore is deluged with mail as rumours abound, saying that he wears no clothes under those long robes of his. When asked, Dumbledore declined comment, pulled his robe tighter around him, and shuffled off slowly and carefully, so his robe wouldn't open.
*Audience laughs*
Lee: And now to my lovely co-anchor, Hermione Reallyreallysmartgirl. Hermione?
Hermione: *smiles like an airhead and twirls a lock of hair around her finger* Um, like, hi, Lee. *giggles* Um, I'm having a really great time tonight. Uh, like, you know, being here . . . with you . . . on TV . . . for sure . . .
Lee: Um, Hermione? You're supposed to be giving the news, not talking to me.
Hermione: Huh?
Lee: I can't talk to you like this. Tell the viewers at home the news.
Hermione: *getting more and more anxious and starts hyperventilating* What do you mean, you can't talk to me like this? I thought you loved me! I thought we were going to be together forever!
Lee: Shh, we'll talk later. And-
Hermione: *getting very distraught and starts shrieking* What do you mean, we'll talk later???? No, we're going to talk-
Lee: *taps Hermione on the head with his hand* Sleep.
*Hermione's head drops to her chest*
Lee: And now, after that very stimulating report, let's take it over to sports with Harry Stick. Harry?
Harry: *in a bored voice* Thank you, Lee. In sports news, the Gryffindor Quidditch team won . . . again. The Slytherin Quidditch team lost to Gryffindor . . . again. And no one really cares about Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, so-
*Harry stops mid-sentence, looks enraged, and storms out to a random member of the audience *
Harry: ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME?!?!?!?! ARE YOU . . . LAUGHING . . . AT ME?!?!?!
*Audience Member looks scared and tries to say no, but is laughing too hard*
Harry: WHY ARE YOU LAU- *bored voice* Never mind, I don't care.
*Walks back up to his place on stage*
Harry: *In a bored voice* Back to you, Lee.
Lee: Erm . . . right. Thank you for that . . . uh . . . highly educative report, Harry.
Harry: *in a bored voice* Yeah . . . Whatever . . .
*Hermione bursts out sobbing and screaming incomprehensibly*
Lee: Okay! Now, over to the weather with . . . I can't remember his name . . . The Weather Guy!
Seamus: Thank you, Lee. Now, as you can see here *gestures at imaginary weather chart* We have a few cold fronts coming in-no, get back *Pokes imaginary animal away with imaginary pointer* with a warm-I said get back. Please get back! *Pokes imaginary animal multiple times and then sighs* Thank you. Good Bozo. Good carnivorous, man-eating killer monkey-how did I end up by myself? *Falls to the ground, pretending to fight off an imaginary animal* AHHHHHH!!!! NOOOOOO!!! *Pretends to throw off animal, only to have it leap right back onto him again* Back-to-you-Lee!
Lee: Yes, thank you, The Weather Guy. Well, that's all the time we have for today. Stay tuned for "When Killer Monkeys Attack".
*Newscaster music plays and then dies down*
*All the performers return to their seats*
Ron: Hey, that was great. Uhh . . . a thousand and eight points to you all.
*Performers looked impressed*
Harry: Wow. Do you want something?
Ron: Hahahahaha. Okay, for our next game . . .
A/N: So??? What do you guys think? Any requests for future games??? Drop me a line!