Being a Carbon Copy
George contemplates what life is like having a twin brother
Disclaimer: I don't own HP. There. You forced it out of me.
A/N: This is a "Pre-Book 5" story.no spoilers attached
Just wanted to write a story about the twins.it has it roots in this weird book about twins sisters. and yeah, it's about Fred and George's doomed life of mistaken identity. And what that sometimes leads to. Hehe. Enjoy.
***********************************************************************
I leaned back against the swivel chair that's located in the far corner of the Common room. You know the type- where you can spin around and around until your head twirls, you feel nauseated, and there's this Dr. Evil voice yelling in you head: 'Christ compels you!, Christ compels you!' from some spoof off the Exorcist even though you don't know why or even who Dr. Evil is.
Well I was sitting on this swivel chair, but I wasn't spinning insanely, I really couldn't stomach that at the moment. I was thinking, really. Of me and my clone. I guess people would call him my twin brother. But if you think about it we were just clones. It's funny how people are so worried about making clones when there already naturally made ones in existence.
I pushed my head back against the headrest, letting the blood rush to it. People really do have the wrong ideas about being identical twins. They think it's all fun and games and kidney transplants. But it isn't like that all the time. I remember wondering ever since I was born, which one of us was real, and which one was just the extra copy, taken by accident. It sounds dumb, but I couldn't help it.
Being a twin means a lot of things. It means being called by the wrong name most of your life even by your own family members. Yet it also means receiving a lot of credit for stuff you didn't even do.
When Fred and I were young we used to stand in front of the mirror and try to find flaws in each other's faces. You have more freckles than I do. No, I don't, but your ears are crooked. Your nose is bigger. You eyebrows are bushier. On and on.
Percy would come into the bathroom and tell us to stop trying to find out who's uglier because he needed to take a shower.
But deep down I think what we were doing to not having an Who's Uglier Contest, we were trying to prove to ourselves that there were differences between us if people just looked hard enough. We wanted to make sure we weren't exactly the same.
They say twins can be exactly the same in every way except our fingerprints. I told this to Fred and he suggested that we should get our own fingerprints and blow it up to poster-size, taping it on our backs so everyone could tell us apart.
At least he got a bitter laugh out of me.
What leads me to question my fondness of having another me was when by certain misfortune I ended up in a very uncompromising situation earlier in the day while I was making my way to dinner.
I felt someone snatch me out of the hallways and the next thing I knew I was stuffed in a dark closet, pressed against the wall. The next thing I knew I was making out with my twin brother's girl friend. I wondered if I should break it off, but this had happened once before back in 4th year, and the only thing that resulted was Angelina's great embarrassment. For a while Fred said she would make sure she was with the correct Weasley twin, but she must've gotten lazy lately for here we were and I was unsure of exactly what to do.
I decided to humor her, wondering what was the worst that could happen.
That was a very stupid question to ask.
Because before I realized it Angelina was taking her shirt off, even I could see that in the darkness of the closet. I knew immediately that was a bad sign.
Despite my reluctance, Miss Flyer Extraordinare, had managed to discard my robes, and it didn't look like it was going to stop there. She was a strong girl. She's even beaten up Fred before.
It was too late to speak-up about my true identity, I knew that, but I also knew that Fred was a virgin and I assumed so was Miss Johnson. Even though I couldn't comprehend what had turned her on to want to have my brother in a storage closet of all places, I could tell this was where it was heading.
Confused, I allowed her to kiss my neck as she began to unbutton my pants, wondering if this was how life was going to be like, wondering if when I get married my own wife would not be able to tell me apart from my twin.
What ever happened to my individuality? Why couldn't even our own mother tell us apart? A sense of doom came over me. Being a twin you get confused a lot, which can be good and bad. It's annoying, but still you get a lot of credit for things you didn't do. At that particular moment I was getting a whole lot of credit.
It was at that moment that Lee Jordan opened the door.
"Oh- sorry!"
But he wasn't blushing. He was staring at me.
Angelina just groaned. "Jeez, Jordan, could you have worst timing?"
Actually, I didn't think his time couldn't have been better. Lee turned around as we scrambled back into our clothes, the heat of the moment had vanished. We stepped out into the hallways of Hogwarts, Angelina waved me off, saying that she needed to meet Katie or something.
Lee turned towards me. "Well?"
"What? Are you expecting a detailed description of-"
He shook his head. "Now *Fred* you've got learn something." He paused to smirk at me, shaking the dreadlocks out of his face. "Identical twins aren't very identical."
My eyes widened. "Lee, you wouldn't come between two brothers would you? I know of a very sweet deal on canary creams I can hook you up with."
He snorted with laughter. "George, George. Just because you nearly shagged your twin brother's girl friend-"
"-she totally came on to me!"
"-Or to Fred?"
I rolled my eyes. "How can you tell us apart, Lee?"
Lee bit his lip, thinking. "Well the boxer or brief questions doesn't help much.and you two have the same size endowments.hmm."
"I think when people see us they just take a guess of who it is thinking they have a 50% chance of getting it right."
"Well how do you tell yourself apart?"
"Um cause I know I'm George, or at least that's what all my legal documents say and that the other one must be Fred."
"What if you were both standing in front of a mirror?" asked Lee.
"Well Fred has this weird birthmark of the Panama Canal on his -"
"George, my dear brother, where have you been? You missed dinner!"
I turned to see my twin brother, grinning broadly on his freckled face.
"You know Fred, Lee and I have been thinking a lot about our situation."
"What situation?"
"The identical twins one-" added Lee.
"And I've decided that if I ever became a dictator that you can be my taste tester in case someone tries to poison my food."
Lee brightened. "Or the decoy for an assassin."
"Precisely."
"Future dictator, huh? Never knew you had it in you, George." Fred paused then to look at me. "I ran into Angelina a minute ago."
I tried to look casual.
"I think she's become a nutcase. She was ranting on and on about some closet and Lee and.she's insane. Unless-"
I don't think it was ESP that caused me to suddenly start bolting away. The look in his eyes had been enough. Fred was on my tail, with a look of death over his freckled face. Damn..
"Freeed, she forced herself on me!" I cried in my defense.
"You tried to shag my girlfriend!" he shouted back.
"Hey, she violated me!"
I heard Lee's voice over our arguments. "Hey, George, I know how I can tell you two apart- you run faster!"
And I was thankful for that.
***************************************
La Fin
Pointless and silly, I know, just like the twins.
I'd love to hear a review from you, I would even salute you'
*salutes*
George contemplates what life is like having a twin brother
Disclaimer: I don't own HP. There. You forced it out of me.
A/N: This is a "Pre-Book 5" story.no spoilers attached
Just wanted to write a story about the twins.it has it roots in this weird book about twins sisters. and yeah, it's about Fred and George's doomed life of mistaken identity. And what that sometimes leads to. Hehe. Enjoy.
***********************************************************************
I leaned back against the swivel chair that's located in the far corner of the Common room. You know the type- where you can spin around and around until your head twirls, you feel nauseated, and there's this Dr. Evil voice yelling in you head: 'Christ compels you!, Christ compels you!' from some spoof off the Exorcist even though you don't know why or even who Dr. Evil is.
Well I was sitting on this swivel chair, but I wasn't spinning insanely, I really couldn't stomach that at the moment. I was thinking, really. Of me and my clone. I guess people would call him my twin brother. But if you think about it we were just clones. It's funny how people are so worried about making clones when there already naturally made ones in existence.
I pushed my head back against the headrest, letting the blood rush to it. People really do have the wrong ideas about being identical twins. They think it's all fun and games and kidney transplants. But it isn't like that all the time. I remember wondering ever since I was born, which one of us was real, and which one was just the extra copy, taken by accident. It sounds dumb, but I couldn't help it.
Being a twin means a lot of things. It means being called by the wrong name most of your life even by your own family members. Yet it also means receiving a lot of credit for stuff you didn't even do.
When Fred and I were young we used to stand in front of the mirror and try to find flaws in each other's faces. You have more freckles than I do. No, I don't, but your ears are crooked. Your nose is bigger. You eyebrows are bushier. On and on.
Percy would come into the bathroom and tell us to stop trying to find out who's uglier because he needed to take a shower.
But deep down I think what we were doing to not having an Who's Uglier Contest, we were trying to prove to ourselves that there were differences between us if people just looked hard enough. We wanted to make sure we weren't exactly the same.
They say twins can be exactly the same in every way except our fingerprints. I told this to Fred and he suggested that we should get our own fingerprints and blow it up to poster-size, taping it on our backs so everyone could tell us apart.
At least he got a bitter laugh out of me.
What leads me to question my fondness of having another me was when by certain misfortune I ended up in a very uncompromising situation earlier in the day while I was making my way to dinner.
I felt someone snatch me out of the hallways and the next thing I knew I was stuffed in a dark closet, pressed against the wall. The next thing I knew I was making out with my twin brother's girl friend. I wondered if I should break it off, but this had happened once before back in 4th year, and the only thing that resulted was Angelina's great embarrassment. For a while Fred said she would make sure she was with the correct Weasley twin, but she must've gotten lazy lately for here we were and I was unsure of exactly what to do.
I decided to humor her, wondering what was the worst that could happen.
That was a very stupid question to ask.
Because before I realized it Angelina was taking her shirt off, even I could see that in the darkness of the closet. I knew immediately that was a bad sign.
Despite my reluctance, Miss Flyer Extraordinare, had managed to discard my robes, and it didn't look like it was going to stop there. She was a strong girl. She's even beaten up Fred before.
It was too late to speak-up about my true identity, I knew that, but I also knew that Fred was a virgin and I assumed so was Miss Johnson. Even though I couldn't comprehend what had turned her on to want to have my brother in a storage closet of all places, I could tell this was where it was heading.
Confused, I allowed her to kiss my neck as she began to unbutton my pants, wondering if this was how life was going to be like, wondering if when I get married my own wife would not be able to tell me apart from my twin.
What ever happened to my individuality? Why couldn't even our own mother tell us apart? A sense of doom came over me. Being a twin you get confused a lot, which can be good and bad. It's annoying, but still you get a lot of credit for things you didn't do. At that particular moment I was getting a whole lot of credit.
It was at that moment that Lee Jordan opened the door.
"Oh- sorry!"
But he wasn't blushing. He was staring at me.
Angelina just groaned. "Jeez, Jordan, could you have worst timing?"
Actually, I didn't think his time couldn't have been better. Lee turned around as we scrambled back into our clothes, the heat of the moment had vanished. We stepped out into the hallways of Hogwarts, Angelina waved me off, saying that she needed to meet Katie or something.
Lee turned towards me. "Well?"
"What? Are you expecting a detailed description of-"
He shook his head. "Now *Fred* you've got learn something." He paused to smirk at me, shaking the dreadlocks out of his face. "Identical twins aren't very identical."
My eyes widened. "Lee, you wouldn't come between two brothers would you? I know of a very sweet deal on canary creams I can hook you up with."
He snorted with laughter. "George, George. Just because you nearly shagged your twin brother's girl friend-"
"-she totally came on to me!"
"-Or to Fred?"
I rolled my eyes. "How can you tell us apart, Lee?"
Lee bit his lip, thinking. "Well the boxer or brief questions doesn't help much.and you two have the same size endowments.hmm."
"I think when people see us they just take a guess of who it is thinking they have a 50% chance of getting it right."
"Well how do you tell yourself apart?"
"Um cause I know I'm George, or at least that's what all my legal documents say and that the other one must be Fred."
"What if you were both standing in front of a mirror?" asked Lee.
"Well Fred has this weird birthmark of the Panama Canal on his -"
"George, my dear brother, where have you been? You missed dinner!"
I turned to see my twin brother, grinning broadly on his freckled face.
"You know Fred, Lee and I have been thinking a lot about our situation."
"What situation?"
"The identical twins one-" added Lee.
"And I've decided that if I ever became a dictator that you can be my taste tester in case someone tries to poison my food."
Lee brightened. "Or the decoy for an assassin."
"Precisely."
"Future dictator, huh? Never knew you had it in you, George." Fred paused then to look at me. "I ran into Angelina a minute ago."
I tried to look casual.
"I think she's become a nutcase. She was ranting on and on about some closet and Lee and.she's insane. Unless-"
I don't think it was ESP that caused me to suddenly start bolting away. The look in his eyes had been enough. Fred was on my tail, with a look of death over his freckled face. Damn..
"Freeed, she forced herself on me!" I cried in my defense.
"You tried to shag my girlfriend!" he shouted back.
"Hey, she violated me!"
I heard Lee's voice over our arguments. "Hey, George, I know how I can tell you two apart- you run faster!"
And I was thankful for that.
***************************************
La Fin
Pointless and silly, I know, just like the twins.
I'd love to hear a review from you, I would even salute you'
*salutes*