OK ok...finally I've updated...yeah I know...I took too long ^_^;;; well ehheh...this is the only Story I'm gonna work on. I found out I can't do several things at once. But that means I'll put more into this one. Fun fun!!!
Malik: ....what now?
You Call Ryou.
Malik: AND WE HAVE A SLEEPOVER!??! YEAA!!!! ^_______^
-_-;;; You really scare me, Malik-kun.
DISC.: DON'T OWN YUGIOH..I do own YugiEX though....muahah..don't ask.
Malik: ...sleepover? ^.^
No.
Malik: Dammit, X_X
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Click. Click.
."......."
CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKLCLICK-
"BAKURA please...stop...thats beginning to really unnerve me.."
A very pissed off and chocolate brown iris moved very carefully sideways from its cock-eyed position in the skull of a very yummy looking Tomb Robber Spirit, currently curled up and watching absolutely nothing on TV. At the moment he was mashing remote buttons with a hypnotic psychotic blank stare, many blurbs of dotted color sped by all of Ryou's 149 TV stations.
"Uh...B-Bakura...I said thats unnerving me...please be a bit cooperative tonight...I'm trying to study for my finals..."
The quiet voice who was the only other noise in the room came from Ryou, who sat stiffly at a small Writing desk with a flat screen Microsoft glowing in front of his weary soft brown eyes. He had several books of god knows what open and around him, and several hefty cups of drained coffee lay about.
Not to mention a fair amount of Twinkie wrappers. ((Thats a good cram-snack you know...))
Ryou waited a few moments...and realized Bakura obliged to discontinue the clicking. Smiling he turned back to the Computer and continued typing his study pages. Satisfied that now his Yami understood...he could finish and get a good nights sleep.
"..."
Click.CLICKCLICKCLICK.
This time Ryou slammed his quick age-less fingers down on his keyboard and spun his head around fixing his Yami, sprawled in a provocative way over the couch, with a death glare that could scare bunnies.
"BAKURA- BLOOD HELL! I WANT SOME PEACE AND QUIET- YOU UNDERSTAND ME YOU THICK HEADED EVIL TWIT!?!?!??"
Bakura sat up and grinned brightly, showing two rows of white ferret like teeth.
"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed....nice Raccoon eyes, ace."
Shuddering in anger, Ryou hurled a blue clicky pen which had been his stress toy twenty minutes prior. "KISS MY-"
The Phone practically burst off its hook as Ryou couldn't finish the sentence. Jumping he spun sideways and fixed the phone a shaky open eyed look. It was Ringing....oh yes...human response is to retrieve the phone off its hook. So thats just what Ryou did.
"Eh- oh- Ahem..." He glanced sideways, girlishly cradling the phone under his chin and trying to minimize his computer screen so he could focus with the human on the other electrical device.
Bakura, who was nailed squarely in the eye with the damnable clicky pen, snarled and rubbed the sore pupil....but the phone was ringing. His Aibou answered....and in slight interest he smiled and strolled over glomping Ryou in an annoying way.
"WHO IS IT!??! IS IT MALIK!??! HUH? LEMME TALK TO HIM- PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE RYOUUUUUUUUUU-! ^________^"
Ryou was having a rough time by now- handling a phone and man handling a Yami who was fighting to talk to who indeed WAS Malik on the other end....but Ryou noticed...Malik didn't answer in the normal, "Yo Ryou..." or the angry.. "WHERES THAT S.O.B WHITE HAIRED BITCH, RYOU??!?" Or even the drunk..."Heh...I'm not wearing any panties Ryou...^_~"...
As disturbing as that last one was, it was Bakura's favourite. -_-
No..this answer was different.."
"Ryou....um...can I uh...ask you about cooking..stuff?"
It was odd...no it was VERY odd. It was a Very Odd response out of Malik Ishtar.
Cooking...stuff...? No it wasn't odd that Ryou was asked about common Home Ec skills....heck he was the town Sister-hired-hand as far as favors for things went.. 'Ryou what do you wash Cotton in...' 'Ryou whats the best plant to grow in a windowsill...' 'Ryou how do I wax my eyebrows right...' The List went on. Otogi even asked once..and it disturbed and scared Ryou to talk to Otogi for quite some time...'Ryou...in your opinion can you get an STD from a Polar Bear?' ((Heh heh....please see Out Cold, funny movie ^^))
"Malik...Malik thats you isn't it..? Um..thats a very..off the wall...question- are you in your right mind..."
Bakura knicked an eyebrow. Was it his Crazy Yami on that line...? It had been a while since the said-spirit bothered to poke Malik around....maybe it was 'one of those days'....hell who knew...but the look on Ryou's face was enough to say something was very...ahem in his own minds words.. Fucked up and crazy.
"Ryou....is he trying to attempt phone sex-" Ryou shot him a glare for using the 'S' word..or about to anyways. Rolling his eyes Bakura emphasized in a pissed off voice-" is he attempting phone YOU KNOW WHAT ?"
Polightly Ryou shook his head, and shoved Bakura out of the way as he headed for his small black and white fashioned kitchen, where he felt more at home at. Not to mention for phone conversations....especially one that started on a question about this particular part of the house.
~*~*~*~**~*~*
Malik sighed and drew his knees under himself, bouncing gently up and down on his bed. He switched the phone to his left ear nervously. Licking his lips he tried to think how to put his current problem into a...well...friend to friend problem-to-problem chat.
Ok...so Ishie made a big deal at first about his gourmet dinner.....um..it was a big deal? Malik didn't think so...but that was the night before. Since then it was alright. Pretty Okie Dokie to think about. Nothing happened. Just a simple little fluke of dinner....but then the next morning...Malik awoke...'got bored' and made egg roll croissants with a side of peach pudding served on a fresh steaming plate of flakey hawaiin rolls....not to mention the Starbucks worthy latte's he whipped up for he and Ishizu...
Alright. Things got a little damp in the former okie dokie-ness after that. But that was the morning after...eh heh..another fluke...Malik went out, played some basketball with that abominable Ledi...she won..which he cursed a fit at...came in, caught some tube...something about Gorilla Pox in North America the news said...
But then came Lunch. And Malik delivered with flying colors. He grew very bored with the ham sandwiches Ishizu brought home from the museum....and soon with a little patience, he created a steaming plate of fresh Lasagna that looked like something out of a Mafia's royal feast....
OK ok so the okie dokie-ness was fading faster...but Malik tried to pretend it was...another fluke...and he went into his room for a little video Game together-ness...for a while it was only he and the remote to a Tony Hawk game of some sorts.
Dinner came....and went...Malik was now on the phone.
that is- its been hour after dinner...and Malik was plain terrified.
For Dinner...he had erased the Okie Dokie ness. Rubbed it right out of the whole damn universe.
FOR DINNER- came the over all straw that broke the camels back as his father was fond of saying when he was little... For Dinner, Malik recreated some type of Sushi supreme which he fed to Ishizu and Ross still flaming, and in very smooth movements Malik would design and chop the raw fish like a pro just showing off in some Japanese Restaurant you might visit called the Red Dragon, the Panda Gardens....you know the types.
He needed to talk to Ryou about the absence of Okie Dokie ness with his possessed like abilities.
"Ryou...I think.....I think theres something wrong with me. And it has to do with cooking...."
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Ryou swung his long slender legs back and forth, cutely now perched on the counter and fully relaxed in his home turf, the kitchen. Hearing this last sentence he sighed and softened his tone, although he was still rather tired...
"Malik, your making no sense...did you poisen yourself? Did you blow up your microwave..? I told you the plate in it is NOT a toy-"
"NO YOU- I....." There was a pause and a sigh. "....alright..since last night...I've been....compulsively..making butt-loads of...food..."
Ok, so far Ryou was expecting something odd and a bit off the wall.....but...alright this was odd and REALLY off the wall. "Uh...ok....you've been making food."
"Yes. Food." He said nothing else and for a few moments, Ryou pondered if he hung up. "Well...? What should I do Ryou?"
". Malik...do you realize how ridiculous your sounding? Who ruddy cares if you make food? It's a Natural...Human....ability..to gather and make food to survive and live sufficiently."
Malik shook his head laughing gently in a deep syrupy tone that could have made any fangirl go into cardiac arrest. "No no Ryou....you don't understand. I'm cooking things you couldn't achieve for a fucking Christmas Party. Things that Martha STEWART would say '-who has time to do that?' to. Now what do you say to that? I'm going crazy. My hands...they just...do what they want..its like 10 little rods are controlling my ten little fingers which are COOKING THE PANTS OFF MY POOR KITCHEN EVERY DAMN MEAL THAT GOES ON IN THIS HOUSE!!!!!!! AND I FOR ONE AM *REALLY* SPAZZED ABOUT IT PAL!"
"Malik please calm d-"
A third voice suddenly entered on the conversation, interrupting Ryou's steady first words.
"Psh...you can do better then that Malik...if you want my Hikari you should have just said, 'Come over you little hot British thing you...I'm horny..' "
"BAKURA GET OFF THE OTHER LINE YOU ROTTEN RAT!!!!!!" Blushing like a blood drenched polar bear, Ryou turned and hollered out of the kitchen door to a giggling Bakura who hung up the other phone line phone he was listening in on.
Malik simply glared in agitation at nothing in particular around his room, waiting for Ryou to take back the phone control.
"Alright Malik..let me try this again......" he paused, the continued when he was satisfied no Tomb Robbers were eavesdropping. "...your...cooking..out of control you say? And from the description...it sounds....phenomenal...are you quite sure theres a need to panic?"
The Egyptian on the other end flopped back on his bed and stroked his firm abs out of sheer stress. A small grin spread over his face suddenly. "I tell you what...come over tonight. And you'll see where the Panic should start. I think this situation has gone far." He clicked the phone off and dropped it onto the floor, then rolling over he buried his face into a dark green pillow cased goose-down pillow. He squeezed his stomach up in knots, then nervously peeked at his fingers each in turn.
"Your really freaking me out, hands....really..." He clenched them closed, then pressed his face back into the pillow, trying to think of Ryou's action when he witnessed the growing fear of Malik's Chef-ness.
~*~*~**~*~
Ryou started to respond, "Come over toni-" But the conversation was ended on the other end. Shaking his head he slid off the counter and laid the phone down harmlessly by the bubbly and busy coffee pot. Yawning Ryou thumbed at the corners of his tired eyes, wondering how in hell he was going to help solve MALIKS problems..when he couldn't even finish a simple cram problem of his own.
Oh well. Theres always the fake-sick, or the fake-suicidal attempt for excuses....but teachers were so expecting these days of the things students do to get out of hyprocrited stuff...
Bakura was bouncing on his heels grinning like a freak Hyena, hair and all in a cheerful wind-blown look as YOU came out of the kitchen, pulling the blue coat on over his button down from Battle City.
"Aha...so he DOES want you."
"No Bakura....he's got a problem..a big one I think...he said he has to show me.."
"...uh huh...he has a big problem he has to SHOW you...I see...make sure you get a good mental measurement of it...I'm just curious..."
" .o.o BAKURA please...why can't you go live somewhere else...XP" With that he slammed the door behind him and set off for a Taxi Hailing to get to Maliks Apartments.
Inside Bakura was rolling his eyes and striding over to the computer, snooping into Bakura's previous work. "Hmph..he's such a Virgin schoolgirl...the poor boy...." Boredly he leaned his chin on one hand and use the other hand to work the mouse and arrow around, clicking and maximizing Ryou's works in Microsoft Word.
"Human Skills Stunted by Smoking Habits.....the Chemicals of the Stomach....boring..boring...Lord of the G String...b-" His eyes widened as he was looking at a document.....a porn document.
"Heh. Well well...." Happily he leaned back and began reading something he couldn't believe came out of his Hikari's fingers on a keyboard.
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Malik: .o YOU WRITES PORN!?!?!?
Yes. ^_^
YOU: *shrug* Hey...its not fault. *piddles away singing Yankee Doodle*
Malik: He needs a pet...*nodnodnod*
-_-;;; Please R&R....looks like Maliks gonna show YOU what the hell we're dealing with...a cookful Malik. ^_^