....ugh. HERE WE GO AGAIN!!! I think I better update my other fics soon but for now I have to get out whatever stress is in my poor head. Summer is boring...trips are killing me...along with the countless parties I exhaust myself from @_@
Ryou: OH for heavens sake...your WHINING exhausts me. And whats this? WHEN ARE YOU UPDATING MY FIC!??!?
OH shut your gob child- *drops a pair of Invader Zim boxers on his head* Don't bother me when I'm in a thought train Ryou-chan....
Ryou: O.O What....are...these..*pulls the said-boxers off his head* Eck! XP
Tai Kamiya: HEY!!!!! *pops out of no where, snatches up the boxers then bounces away* ^_^ Thanks..I wondered where those went..
Ryou & Fox: O.o Er....what the bloody hell?
Bakura: *snickers* Feh...imbeciles...*goes back to reading Connecticut Yankee in King Arthurs Court* ((thanks to Li-li for that Inspiration -_-))
ANYways....this is just a short little fic about MALIK because I owe Ledi a good Malik Fic...well this is going somewhere I have no clue of to where its going...can't really relate here about the story- all I can say is this.
Malik has recently discovered he has an inner little feddish for....cooking. @_@ SO much in fact that the possibilties are endless for his broad future....but,...Malik has to choose. His life- or the world of the Cook!!!!!!!!! MUAHHAHAH! -_-;;; Sorry I'm just super bored today...
DISC.: DON'T OWN YUGIOH OR HAMBURGER HELPER- OR DOMINO'S!!!!! Wish I did...mmm...Pineapple Pizza ish good...
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BANG!
GODS DAMN THAT WOMAN....there she goes again...my sister, Ishizu, attempting to wrestle noodles and some ra-forsaken hamburger into a pot. I think she still lost the lesson on boiling water...
"WHAT!?!??! 30 MINUTES PREHEAT- OH HELL NO! ....microwave will work..."
Yep. Hear that? Its her amazing cooking skills....I thought all women can cook? I mean even Bakura can make Ramen Noodles. Sheesh- I wonder what she really IS trying to concoct...well whatever it is I hope Ross is hungry. That poor cat- I have to give him credit...Any cat that can consume as much toxic-waste under the table as he has is bound to surpass us all in life span. -_-
"Ok...hmm..I wonder how you should convert preheat minutes to Microwave minutes....ok....30 minutes....I'll just make this....2 hours..."
@_@ GODS I'll never survive past the age of 21. Hmph...whats on Tv...
The tan teenager rolled over on his side and lazily outstreched his narrow fingers until he touched a small Sony labled remote. Eagerly jamming the small silver and rubbery buttons, the screen flashed on to let him know the wide world of television was at his mercy.
Ok...its 8 o'clock...Survivor?
The channel was flipped in nano-seconds to a show of frumpy haired sweaty people sitting around a fire.
This'll help pass the time till dinner..
"-and so today contestants!!! Because the producers are sick of thinking of nasty s**** ((Of course they would sensor it on TV ^_^)) for you all to eat each episode- today you each get the rare treat of roast turkey with chocolate sund-"
Click. Next channel....
Great- food on survivor...oh this will be ok...60 Minutes...maybe theres an insane murderer on I can relate to...
"...and tonight on 60 minutes!!! ' Obesity In Japan '...we'll get an inside look on the grills and delicious preparations of Japans largest junk food industries-"
CLICK. NEXT CHANNEL-
THIS IS STARTING TO PISS ME OFF!!!!!!! Ok ok- OH AHA!!!! THIS is safe enough...Basketball....muahaha...no food there-
"-so in CELEBRATION of the NBA's 50th ANNIVERSARY- we're giving EVERYONE IN THE AUDIENCE FREE CHOCOLATE DOUBLE DUTCH ON CHOCOLATE CA-"
CLIIIIIIIIICK. Slam.
After slamming the remote somewhere in who knows where- Malik stood up and rumpled his hair as hard as he could with both hands. "GAAAAAAAAH I CAN'T TAKE THIS!!!!" Turning on a heel he stomped towards the kitchen which he barged into through the little swining doors Ryou insisted would look....cute..
"ISHIE!!!!! WHY IN RA IS THERE NO FOOD- YOU'VE BEEN IN HERE FOR AN HOUR AND SO FAR YOU"VE MANAGED TO COOK....WATER- AND EVEN *THAT* IS FRICKEN' UNFIT TO EAT I'M SURE!!!!" Waving his arms around he collapsed into a chair and slammed his elbows down onto the wood in a little tantrum like- "HMPH! XP"
His taller and more sleek looking sister simply sighed and shrugged. "MALIK I was born without a cooks hand that's all..try a little patience- there's jelly in the fridge- have a sandwich for now ok?" In a sisters exasperated growl, she cuffed him behind the head.
"And what the hell did you do with your hair- it looks like Ross slept on it again-"
Absently Malik ran a hand and arm forcefully over his hair. "I got pissed because everyone in the world, but me, is eating. Satisfied?"
Not hearing him fully because she was engrossed in reading the Hamburger Helper box's ingredients, she simply nodded and murmured- "Mmm..hmm...yeah go for it Malik..." Her eyes went back to zooming along the reading lines.
"O.O GEEZE! ....is everyone in this house not listening to me?"
Finally she glanced up with a clueless blinkity blink. "Huh? I'm sorry Malik I wasn't listening to you..what'd you want?"
"-__- nothing. Absolutely nothing..." Standing up he decided to take matters into his own hands- dinner was coming RIGHT THEN AND THERE- even if...he had to do it. And the Egyptian had no doubt in his mind that he was not going to wait on a sister more involved with reading carbohydrated saturated whachamacallits....
Ok..whatta we got to work with...hmm...cream cheese- ok good- that could be good...strawberry extract...extract? Oh well..sounds important...whats this...Coaco butter...margerine...
Looking up he barely had time to set all his collected items on the counter when suddenly the phone in the next room rang- Ishizu dropped the box to the table and strode off to answer it.
Figures...no wonder her cooking stinks...theres no dedication, feeling, or emotion to her artists mind of releasing the taste. ...
.....
WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM!?!??! ...it can't be Yami..he said he needed a break to jack off mentally...oh well...
Shrugging, he hummed ' Whip It ' then went to pulling open cubburds and randomly pulling things out like a curious child.
Ok...sugar..need sugar and egg whites...hmm whats this...Powdered Sugar...oh well...has the word Sugar on it so who cares- as long as it looks like the right shit then everyones happy! ^_^
Now...lets do it.
~*~*Hour Later~**~*~
"-so what IS the number 69 for anyways, Fritz?" Ishizu was laid back comfortably on the couch talking animatedly with someone named Fritz, when suddenly a small ruddy looking Calico meow'd and tugged her hair dangling down at the floor on the couch.
"Hmm? Whats wrong Ross...OH FOR THE LOVE OF RA- I FORGOT THE NOODLES- I'll call you back Fritz-!!!" Mashing the OFF button with a flourish of chunking the phone onto the Couch, she tore across the small living room and dashed into the kitchen through the Ryou Constructed doors. Skidding to a hault across the lineoleum...she witnessed an odd sight.
Malik was seated calmly at the table, digging into a small lumpy white blob of what looked like Vanilla Ice cream with pink streaks throughout it...he was eating it furiously and without looking up stated- "Took your advice...made something for myself- hey Ishizu I dumped out that mess of noodles and water in the microwave- I needed the bowl for the stew..."
Her mouth dropped and gently she stepped forward staring down at him. As if being faced with a two headed rat with slimey fur- she trembled as she reached out and poked Malik.
"O.o HEY that tickled ....XD.." Giggling like a tan Doughboy, Malik jerked away and wrapped his arms around himself in the chuckle.
"You..you cooked a full dinner in an hour?" Looking around..oddly the kitchen was still spotless. Yeah there was a few bowls and eggshells dumped in the sink..but the floor was clean. The counter was bare of anything but a few steaming rice cakes and a crock pot of what smelled of beef stew... and more amazing, Ishizu looked up- and yes, the ceiling was bare as well!
"Malik...naw this is..ok ok it was Funny Malik- I get it I'll order out our dinner next time-" Nudging him with a knuckle she laughed and nodded with a bright smile.
"O.o Funny? Did I do it?" He turned and looked around as if expecting a clown to pop out or something remotely humorous...((Clowns aren't funny BTW: If I had clowns in this fic I'd give parental WARNING!!! XD))
Still laughing she wandered over to the counter top, and looked down at the hearty ensemble of a dinner that would have been served within an hour of a professional behind the cooking. The laughter died down when she noticed none of the food prepared was anything she kept in the pantries...Stew...fresh Rice Cakes which smelled so mouth watering she found herself drooling slightly. And that white lump Malik was digging into was as she realized, Vanilla Cream Sorbet.
"MALIK YOU COOKED THIS!?!??! NO WAY!" Grabbing a ladle, she scooped out a thick steaming bit of the stew, and gulped it so fast she choked and steamed at the ears, and watered at the eyes.
"Ya dummie..its hot- DUH..." Rolling his eyes he turned back happily to his Sorbet and continued calmly licking and sucking it off a spoon, one scoop at a time like a two year old eats.
But she wasn't listening- Ishizu was grabbing a plate and piling as much stew and rice cakes as she could onto it, slamming herself down beside Malik she dug in with a will of someone facing a ten year famine of food.
"O.O ISHIE!! Thats not very healthy to eat like that-"
"SHUT UP- I'm tasting heaven...." Sighing happily she swooned and leaned back hugging herself- "OH GODSSSSSSSS THATS SOOOOOO GOOOD!"
"....erm..." Slightly blushing he blinked then sniggered at her actions, "You know they have bed rooms for that..."
Glaring at him she leaned back forward and jabbed a fork at his face on the end of each word as if punctuating. "Tell-me-right-now-where-you-learned-to-DO-this-!" With that she jammed the fork down into a chunky beef cut and gobbled it with a loud pig like snort.
"Erm....learn? I watched a thing on TV the other night about Eminem's house cooks...it was kinda cool..."
". MALIK ISHTAR you did not learn to do- THIS from a damn rappers documentary!!!!!!"
As if what was before them didn't matter, Malik yelled outraged- " HE IS NOT A DAMN RAPPER-"
Grabbing his ear Ishizu shook him until they were standing up beside the table, the small calico purred and began licking over Malik's abandoned Sorbet. "MALIK TELL ME RIGHT NOW- WHERE DID YOU MAKE THIS!??! ARE YOU LYING!?!? YOU WENT OUT AND BOUGHT THIS AT THE PACK-A-SACK!!!!!!! THIS BEATS RYOU'S COOKING DAMNIT- AND I FOR ONE AM SCARED!!!!"
Whimpering he shrunk back and spat at her, angrily pissed off "I didn't do anything..I got hungry dammit..and you told me to make a sandwich- but I found some neat stuff that just felt good if I put it together!!! OK!?!?"
Mystified, she shrank back to her chair and rubbed her head with a dazed look. "Malik..this is....I dunno its good."
Snorting he sat down and smacked the cat off his bowl, then calmly started eating again from it.
Watching him, his sister grimaced and thought to herself..
HOW can someone that disgusting make a dinner worthy of friggin' feeding to the Queen of England!?!? My brother Malik....a born cook.
Malik on the other hand was boredly humming another chorus of 'Whip It' and thought to himself with a yawn...
Wonder if Jeopardy's off already...
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Malik: XD!!! YEA!!! I CAN COOK!!! ^_^
-_-;; Whatever...anywho- R&R FOR NOW MATES! If this gets any response I'll keep going...