Epilogue

A light tapping on the window disturbed Tsuzuki out of his relaxed slumber.  He opened his eyes slowly and turned his attention to the window.  The source of the sound was a light drizzle hitting the window panes. 

Turning his head to the clock, he winced at the time; it was well past nine in the morning.  He knew Tatsumi was going to be upset at them and wondered why the phone didn't ring at all when he realized that today was Sunday.  He took in a deep breath and allowed himself to relax.

Something shifted in his arms, which startled him. Normally, Tsuzuki went to bed hugging a pillow or some sort of stuffed animal, as he liked to cuddle something before he fell asleep. It seemed rather childish to the ongoing observer, but it provided him some moderate comfort. At least a pillow or stuffed animal didn't protest the cuddling.

The fact that pillows and stuffed animals don't move was what startled him. When he looked down at the mop of ash blond hair, memories of the previous night came back to him.  He smiled as he ran his hand through Hisoka's hair.

It only seemed like yesterday that he first made his confession, but in reality, it was well a year ago. Time seemed to fly by and tonight, he finally received an answer to his confession, although he was surprised that Hisoka decided to take their relationship further.  It was something unexpected; something he thought wouldn't happen for a long time. 

He sighed softly as he looked out the window, worry and doubt plaguing his mind.  What if Hisoka only did this because he noticed that for all those months, he wanted him in this way?  Or what if he was ashamed of what they've done?  What if he felt uncomfortable now and Hisoka wanted to move out?  Or what…?

He felt a stir in his arms. "Mmmm, Tsuzuki... Be quiet... I was trying to sleep..."

Startled, Tsuzuki looked down into unfocused emerald eyes.  Smiling sheepishly, but feeling a little guilty, he asked, "Did I wake you?"

"...You think too much..."

"Eh?"

Emerald eyes locked onto amethyst. "You do know that... I chose to give myself to you."

"I know, but..."

"Why do you always think so harshly about yourself?"

Tsuzuki didn't have an answer to Hisoka's question.  So many reasons ran through his head.  They were all on the tip of his tongue, but the stern look on Hisoka's face silenced them.

Sighing, Hisoka shook his head and answered his own question.  "Let me guess. Because you feel you have no self worth?"

"...Sometimes..." Tsuzuki whispered hesitantly, trying to raise his shields up, worried that Hisoka would try to purposely read him.

Hisoka sighed to himself, feeling Tsuzuki's shields rising up, knowing all too well that he was trying to hide something.  "You can't hide things from me.  And you can't hide anything from me when we're touching like this..." Fingers entwined themselves in the other's hand.

"I just don't understand how anyone can love me so much..." He trailed off as he felt several butterfly kisses working their way up his neck. He let out a soft sigh and closed his eyes.

"The better question is why shouldn't they love you the way they do..."

"Eh?"

"I could give you several dozen reasons why I love you... I love you for who you are... I love how you pout... I love how your eyes light up when you see something sweet... I love when you actually smile and not one of those false smiles... I love your positive traits along with your negative..."

"But..."

His protest was silenced as lips claimed his mouth. He let a small whimper escape when their lips parted and Tsuzuki smiled as a small chuckle escaped his partner's lips.

"You're laughing.  Did you know you look so beautiful when you laugh?"

"Mmmm..." Was all Hisoka said before placing his lips back on the exposed flesh of his neck. Hands roamed across his torso and he let out a satisfied moan.

"You like that?"

"Picking up my bad habits from last night?"

"Maybe."

A small giggle escaped Tsuzuki's lips as he ran his fingers through Hisoka's hair.  "I love you..."

"Mmmm, I know... I love you too..." Silence echoed in the room before Hisoka looked back up at Tsuzuki.  "You're not bringing me down."

"Hisoka..."

"I told you, I gave myself willingly to you. I trust you... Now trust yourself... Just have faith..."

"Have faith?"

"Mmmm... Aren't you happy?"

"I don't think I've ever been this happy before in my life... well, afterlife now."

"Then stop thinking that being happy is a bad thing. Because you, of all people, deserve it. I want you to be happy..."

"...Do I make you happy? Does this.... make you happy?"

A frown started to form on Hisoka's lips.  "Why do you ask such silly things?"

"Well, I know…  this might make you uncomfortable…  and…"

"I admit, I did feel uncomfortable in the beginning, but not anymore…" Biting his lip, Hisoka averted his eyes away.  "Also, at one point, I thought the same as you. Why someone could love me..."

"Hisoka, you know..."

A finger on Tsuzuki's lip stopped the retort that was there.  "And I know you'll give me a dozen reasons why you do." A poke to the stomach to empathize his point. "So why don't you take that advice as well? That you deserve to be loved just the same."

"Hisoka..."

Arms wrapped around his waist as he felt his partner's head rest on his shoulder. "So stop berating yourself. I love you... I will always love you... And you can't make me stop loving you."  Tsuzuki laughed softly at Hisoka's words.  "Sleep now.  When we wake up in a few hours, we'll both take a shower.  Then we'll go to the little café down the street for a late lunch.  After, we can come back here and dance a little more…"

"Dancing?"  A playful grin.  "What kind of dance?"

"Any type you want to do."

"Even…  You know…"

"Yes, I said any type, right?  And tonight, I'm on top."  A warm shiver of delight passed through him as he felt Hisoka shift under the blankets, his head resting on his chest.  "Go back to sleep now.  I want you to be well rested in a few hours."

Tsuzuki nodded as he watched emerald eyes close shut. His fingers gently stroked his lover's back and he closed his eyes as well, the ebbs of sleep drawing him back into its embrace. He knew he wouldn't be alone anymore.

And for the first time in his existence, he felt truly happy.