Sighing heavily to himself, Sasuke looked around the room once and out the window, before slipping down to sit on the floor.  The floor.  The clean, empty floor.  That Sasuke had cleaned up of all its funky dirty laundry and random ramen cups was a serious indicator of how bored he was. 

He had nothing to do, was forbidden to leave, and it…didn't feel quite right to be training in Naruto's house.  He wasn't sure why.  It just made him uncomfortable.  Just being there made him uncomfortable.

He wanted to leave.  He really wanted to leave.  Sasuke had come to treasure his own space viciously; other people just made distractions.  Sometimes the distractions hurt him in ways he couldn't heal, couldn't get revenge on. 

Sakura was good at that; making him feel things he couldn't afford.  Warm and queasy and he kept wanting to swallow.  Naruto was too, but Naruto at least could occasionally improve his style.  He made a good punching bag.  Not much else, but a good punching bag.

He sighed heavily, before allowing himself to fall on his back, staring at the splotched ceiling.  Nothing Naruto owned seemed to stay clean for very long, save his clothing. 

The walls, the floor, even the ceiling…none of it was fantastically dirty, like with random green and tomato splotches and moldering mushrooms or anything, but it was just…mundanely dirty.  Like there was no point in being clean, but not so dirty as to make a statement.  Naruto's whole house was mundanely dirty, mundanely boring.  So tarnished and empty.

And not very…Naruto-like.  Not what he had expected.

Sasuke's own apartment was empty too, but at least it was clean.  At least you could breathe.  Sasuke's own apartment was a huge contrast to Naruto's; but then it would be.  They were so different they never should have been put on the same team.  They were too different to work well together, except in a few sweaty situations. 

In fact, even though Naruto was so bloody loud…

He had to get out of here. 

Sasuke stuck his arms up straight and whirled them around in their sockets, before considering and sticking his feet straight up too, and swishing them in the air.  He looked like a beetle on its back.

He had to get out of here.  He was going mad. 

Naruto was crazy.  That loony looser (Sasuke mentally winced but plowed on ahead) was infecting him, and not with his germs. 

Had to…get out…

Kakashi-sensei wouldn't have to know.  Nothing bad would happen to Naruto.  Sasuke wouldn't be neglecting his duties.  It wouldn't be a bad thing.  Sakura wouldn't care; hell, she might even sub for him!  Kakashi-sensei would never know…

Sasuke didn't really care anymore! 

He needed out!  The hell with Kakashi, the hell with his grade!  He was the best, his skill was sharper than any genin his age, pride of the Uchiha's and he was slowly losing his mind in the worst hellhole known to man!!!

…Naturally, Naruto had created said hellhole.  That's probably what made it so bad.

Sasuke clenched his teeth together as he rolled around the clean carpet, wadded up in a ball and screaming faintly in his throat, nearly pulling at his hair.

To see him, Sakura would have fainted.

He was having a Bad Day.  He was having a fucking Bad Crappy FU Day and he couldn't see a clear way out of it. 

He spent the day outside in the fresh air, whipping his body into the maximum fitness and perfecting his style.  Sasuke slept when he was too exhausted to even dream, when he barely had energy to eat or drink.  He was used to that, he liked that.  He did not spend the whole day locked in a smelly stuffy apartment of the worst torment known just because some hentai told him to!!!

Spontaneously, Sasuke's sat up rapidly.  His eyes locked on Naruto on the bed.

…Still sleeping.  How could he still be sleeping?  Here he was, willing to make himself look the fool if it meant just getting away and Naruto had never woken up all through his little show.  At all. 

Until Naruto got better (which would take forever) his quickest way out of this mess was if Naruto threw him out of his apartment.  And that would be a good thing because Sasuke wanted to be thrown out. 

First he had cleaned and aired the place.  Naruto hadn't woken up.  Hadn't thrown him out.  Then he had trashed all the ramen packets he could find.  Hadn't been thrown out yet.  Then he had started on the comic books, burning them on the stove before dropping them in the sink.  Next he had discovered how many times he could drop a plate before it finally shattered (5 falls).  Hadn't been thrown out.  Yet!  Just now was…well, he wasn't sure what that was, but it obviously hadn't worked.

Sasuke didn't like Naruto; that was fairly obvious.  Sasuke had also saved Naruto's life on multiple occasions; that was true.  If anybody else had abused Naruto's apartment like Sasuke was he would hurt him badly; that was certain. 

He had saved Naruto's life.  He was endowed to screw with him a little.  He was trapped where neither jutsu nor brute strength could help him.  He was losing his shiny smooth matte mind…

With a disgusted sigh Sasuke stood up suddenly and strode to the door, hammering his fist into the framework with a satisfying crack and crunch that sent the cheap plaster blooming into a mothy cloud, leaving a nasty hole.  He turned around.  Nope.  Not thrown out yet.  Sasuke's mind wandered. 

…He could dump water on him?  Too unsubtle.  Poke him?  No, then he'd have to touch him.  Talk at him until he died?  No, he'd have to talk to him.  Throw things at him?  No, he had done that already, and the idiot hadn't even felt the wadded paper ball hit his face.

Sick his ass.  Just faking it.  He wouldn't notice an earthquake in his sleep in mint-condition anyway. 

What to do, what to do?

…Strip him naked and throw him on the floor?  Hm…Possible, but Naruto had already called him a hentai in the last 72 hours after he had 'stolen' his clothes in the swamp anyway.  He hadn't cared, but there was no point in doing it again.  Had wound up burning the clothes, in case Kakashi-sensei had planned on making him wash them.  He had.  The look on Kakashi's face—Kakashi's eye, had been very interesting.  Nearly as interesting as that bit of grime on the wall.  When he told him.  And got thrown into the sinky sanky land of Naruto-ness.

Sasuke ceased motion, and quickly ceased thought.

…He had to get out of here.  He was going insane.     

He had walked into the kitchen.  Naruto's apartment as insanely small; nearly as small as his own.  His eyes trailed over the walls.  Various posters were taped or thumb tacked to it very tackily. 

Training & Discipline

Number 1 Ninja!

Training & Discipline

Training & Discipline…And More Training & Discipline

Do Your Everyday Exercises

Do Your Best

Kick Sasuke's Butt!!!!

Training Menu: 1. 10K Run…

Sasuke's eyes zeroed in on one particular poster.  He stood quite still in the middle of the room, invisible to the inattentive eye, before a very small, very thin, smile slit between his lips.

Burning the comic books had been quite fun; the most entertainment he had had all damned day since he had been condemned at 8:30 this morning, an eternity of 7 hours ago.  Burning posters would be a bit more difficult, but then there was growth in challenge.  And hell…if this wouldn't get him kicked out, he didn't know what would.

…Except for burning the dobe's clothes in the sink, but that might be considered a bit far.

***

Naruto was nearly a weaker mirror to Sasuke. 

He also knew what it was like to be completely alone, the frantic desperation and hellish insanity inside every empty echo of his empty apartment.  Watching Naruto fumble about was so much like Sasuke had fumbled about when he was so much younger, so naïve and so terrified of the cold world he'd been thrown into buck-naked and headfirst, wearing only his name that became his collar.

And if Sasuke helped Naruto it was nearly--nearly like he was protecting his younger self.  Somehow.  Someway.  It didn't make sense, but it did make him feel better.  Sasuke didn't wonder too far beyond that.  He was healing some of the minor old scars; or at the very least, scabbing them over.

***

Warm…heavy…so tired…

Sleepy, sleepy…feel nice.  Feel…safe.  Funny word…safe.  Want more.  So sleepy…sleep now…sleeping…

Itchy…stuffy…

It's smoky.  No smoke.  No more smoke.  Makes it itchy, makes it cough.  Urgh…

…cough.  Throat.  Owww… 

Pain.  Pain and bleeding.  So raw.  Burning blood, hurts so very muchly.  Make…make…make…make…

Stop.

Strength.  Hard.  Coldness on his lips. 

Cold hardness on his lips, it hurts. 

Make it go away. 

Hard.  Cold.  Stop it.  Hard.  Hurts.

…aahhhh…

yes…

Smoothness.  Smooth wetness, sweet.  Clean coldness down his tongue, sleek.  Make hurt stop.  Making hurt stop so nicely.  Mmmm…very nicely. 

More.  Want…more…now…

…sleepy.  So sleepy.  Mmm…feel so nice…mmm…

***

Sasuke sighed loudly with relief.  Then he realized how foreign it sounded.  Why was it strange?  …Oh yes.  He didn't make noise.  Other people made noise.  He didn't.  Damn it. 

It was catching.  Damn.

Nevertheless…maybe burning the posters had been a bad idea.  It had seemed a good idea though; right up to the part where the smoke had started really growing.  It hadn't been that bad.  Naruto was probably just sensitive.  Geez, just what the village really needed: A sensitive idiot. 

The comic books hadn't made that much smoke, there wasn't too much difference chemically with the damn posters.  There was no reason for them to do that!  Geez…the world was just against him today.  And—even though he hadn't really done anything—Sasuke was indeed tired.  He had no idea how it had happened. 

His heart was racing. 

He had barely heard Naruto coughing; he might not have heard him at all if he hadn't been paying attention.  Soon as he had he rushed to the sink and…

…It was catching.  It was catching.

He resisted the urge to faint and scream.

Sasuke Uchiha had just screwed up his greatest chance to get thrown out of Naruto's apartment.  It had been there.  He could have been free.  If he had just waited a little longer, it would have happened.  But he hadn't waited so it didn't so he was still stuck here and now he was going to be stuck here the whole fucking night!

It was catching.  It was so bloody catching.

His fingers clenched around the glass, and he toyed briefly with the idea of breaking it over Naruto's head.  He might not notice.  He was that far gone.  It was completely possible he wouldn't notice.  And it would make Sasuke feel a lot better.

Naruto sighed softly in his sleep.

Black eyes widened.

Sasuke knew something was happening, he knew at once that he hated it.  But since he didn't know what it was or how it was happening, he didn't know how to stop it.  He exhaled noisily through his nose, trying to control his first impulse that involved a lot of force and violence in yet undetermined ways.

"Idiot…weakling," he muttered over his shoulder as he marched rigidly back into the kitchen with the sink still blackened from the fire and soaking wet, and threw the glass hard enough into the sink to shatter it into many small pieces.

***

Sasuke sat on the wall and glowered.

It was the only thing he felt real comfortable doing at that exact moment, practicing chakra control.  Sitting on the wall wasn't real hard.  Besides, he was brooding; that always enhanced his concentration for some strange reason. 

Right now, he was brooding on how to kill Naruto.

Not "kill Naruto" as in make "Naruto stop breathing," but more along the lines of make "Naruto never get sick," again and to stay as far away from Sasuke as possible.  As in make "Naruto regret he ever met Sasuke." Suppose he got sick as well?  His mental state was already in danger, but his physical health?  Would Kakashi-sensei willingly risk that?  Had he even thought this out? 

Che'…probably not, knowing him.  He'd be too busy reading his stupid book, getting off fictional characters getting off each other.  How sick was that?  Pathetic.

Whatever.

Sasuke still wanted an out.  Still none had really come. 

He had been surprisingly thoughtful and tried to feed Naruto dinner (chicken soup), as humiliating as that had been, but fortunately Naruto was too gone to eat anything.  It would have been more embarrassing to feed him.  It had been embarrassing enough with just Sasuke witnessing it.

Sasuke sighed softly to himself.

Moving on to more important things he didn't…

He didn't have a place where to sleep.  There wasn't even a couch; just the very, very basic table and chair.  Weren't too many blankets either.  They were all on Naruto.  Kakashi wouldn't let him leave.

Kakashi-sensei had been by; he hadn't been happy about the sink's condition.  Said Sasuke was not here to vandalize the sink; it had been tormented enough already.  Said Sasuke couldn't sabotage the walls either, so not to think on it.  Said Sasuke was to stay here and watch over Naruto while he slept; he would be most vulnerable then.

Sasuke had said things too.  He had said this was stupid.  He had said Naruto was stupid.  Had said Naruto got better all the time naturally anyway, so it was pretty stupid to get all worked up over something so menial.  Sasuke had said a lot of things.

He was stuck tonight and tomorrow. 

He had no idea why he had gotten so mad.  It would have been better if he hadn't gotten mad and yelled at Kakashi-sensei.  But he hadn't been thinking.  Why did he always get mad whenever Naruto did something stupid like this?  Why? 

At any rate, he had written all over the ceiling in permanent marker.  It was childish and immature, and totally unbecoming the head of the Uchiha clan.

He had nearly smiled.

But right now he didn't have a place to sleep, and that was what he really wanted right now.  He was tired.  He had no idea why.

***

Sasuke Uchiha came from a prosperous and esteemed shinobi clan.  His brother, Itachi Uchiha, was the elite ninja of the village at a very young age; his early teens.  He slaughters the clan one afternoon, but purposely allows five-year-old Sasuke to see what he has done, and lets him live.  He makes Sasuke promise to kill him.

Throughout his growth, Sasuke remains haunted by his brother's legacy that he cannot destroy and cannot run away from.   He does not seem able to grieve for his family.  His emotional growth is retarded. 

***

Sasuke had to choose between achievement and comfort, and for one the few times in his life, perhaps the only one, he had chosen comfort.  He was going to get so sick after all this was done; that would cut into his training time more than it already had.

He tried to snuggle more into the thin and slightly rank sheets and banged his elbow on the floor.  He was being foolish, he knew, but he truly didn't care.  All other options were too uncomfortable to think about, so he had kind of compromised and—sort of pulled the bed out on to the floor, so he wasn't sleeping with Naruto but wasn't freezing on the empty floor either.

It wasn't too uncomfortable.  He had slept for a whole 27 minutes and 43 seconds before the floor smacked his elbow, and he had woken up groggily.  That was nearly a whole half-hour.  Wasn't too bad, all things considered. 

Instinct made Sasuke tense, his eyes snap open and fingers loosen even before he knew what it was.  He listened quietly.  Naruto's breathing sighed in relief, before returning to a scratchy monotone, and Sasuke held his own breath.

It was a soft sound, like a scratchy whisper.  And there was, very faintly, a small flaring of chakra. 

Sasuke waited, looked around, and then slid to standing with his back against the wall.  Nothing.  Just Naruto and the walls, nothing on the other side of the bed or kitchen or bathroom, and it didn't feel like he was in danger so—

There. 

Sasuke flicked his eyes to Naruto's nightstand.

There was a candle on.

It was interesting but not really a surprise to learn that Naruto didn't have electricity.  It was pretty expensive stuff, and just living off his missions and the village's generosity wasn't nearly enough to pay for it.  Sasuke didn't have electricity either anymore; he had had it as a child with his parents, but not anymore. 

Sasuke had pulled out the candles from under the emasculated kitchen sink, and had placed a couple in the room just in case.  He hadn't lit them.  But two of them were burning steadily, the wax pooling down steadily on the one next to Naruto.

Silently as a ghost without all the rattling chains and frigid temperature, Sasuke stole through the tiny apartment.  For some reason, he wasn't really expecting to find anyone, and he didn't.  Which meant that Naruto, who supposed to sick, had still found a way to be annoying.

Not bothering to silence his footsteps, Sasuke walked to Naruto's bedside, and idly wondered what to do, looking down at him without really seeing.  Immediately pouring hot wax down his shirt sounded very tempting, and Kakashi-sensei was so very far away…  Before he knew it, Sasuke's fingers had quietly picked up the bedside stick.

Naruto inhaled sharply in pain, and his face tensed faintly, its imbecilic immobility cracking.  His fingers clenched at the sheets, and he was trying to move his shoulders forward.

Sasuke blinked.

He hadn't even done anything yet.

So what the heck? 

Naruto whimpered in his throat, the sound nearly missing Sasuke's attention completely, and his chest rose quickly, chin tilting down towards his chest.  Trying to cover his throat, Sasuke realized.  A defensive move. 

The dobe was having a dream.  Or nightmare.  One of those.   Oh. 

He cried out softly, and—

Sasuke's eyes widened.

--and there was that tiny flare of chakra.  Sasuke turned around.

"No way," he muttered softly.  But it was.  The third candle was lit. 

He turned his eyes back to Naruto's face, slightly relaxed again, but still grimacing under all that baby-fat he still had on his cheeks.

That surely wasn't…possible?  It was possible in a very loose sense, but the dobe didn't actually have that kind of control, that kind of understanding over his chakra.  He didn't have the brains to do that.  Even in his sleep—especially in his sleep!  So how the hell…?

Sasuke scowled, but put the candle back on the nightstand.  Weird.  And not a good sign.  Still nowhere near his amount of power and control, but still not a good sign at all.  He wondered if Naruto even realized what he could do.  Probably not.  Most likely not.  So it was useless to him, if he didn't know what he was doing but still…

Sasuke was definitely hitting the training grounds hard tomorrow, no matter what Kakashi-sensei said.  He had lost a day already.  And with Naruto progressing this quickly, he was nearly worried to wonder how everyone else was doing.  He sighed softly again.

Naruto's face tensed.  The nightmare was returning. 

Sasuke frowned, annoyed.

What, did he have the same one over and over?  Just like…

Sasuke turned his eyes away.  After a pensive moment, he shamefully slapped his body into motion and made his way around the bed, back to where he had been sleeping.  Naruto whimpered, deep in his throat.

Yep.  The same nightmare, over and over again.  In the same order, by the sound of it.  Irrationally, Sasuke got angry.  What did that idiot have to have nightmares over?  Bad movies?  People-eating Ramen?  Getting in trouble?  He didn't have an excuse; he wasn't special.  He didn't know anything about real pain, about real horror.

Sasuke's eyes smarted.

Naruto didn't have an excuse.  He didn't know a damn thing.  He didn't know anything about that, he probably never would.  He was too happy to understand it, that pain.  Too disgustingly happy and stupid to ever comprehend it.

He shouldn't have to understand it.  Sasuke didn't want him to.  No one ever should have to understand.  It was too much.  Even for Naruto…especially for Naruto.

'Naruto and Sakura both,' his mind quickly amended.

Sasuke wanted to protect them from that, though he wouldn't recognize it.

The sheets were slightly damp and chilled beneath his fingers, and quickly, before he lost his nerve, he slapped Naruto lightly on his cheek.  Naruto cried out softly, and the candle by the bedside sputtered.  But he didn't wake up.

Sasuke sighed.

Steeling himself, flexing his fingers that he knew he was going to scrub to no end once this was over, he grabbed Naruto by his shoulders and shook him roughly.

Sasuke's back slammed against the floor, and his cheek felt eerily cold and numb while he struck around blindly, and tried to pry the hands from his throat.

"Naruto you idiot!  Let go!" he shouted, slightly muffled because the dobe seemed a lot stronger in his sleep.  Sasuke's legs flailed, but he was kneeling on his stomach, holding on too tightly to his throat for Sasuke to kick him off.  Red blurbs clouded his vision, and his throat was burning and sharp, hard on the inside…

"Sasuke?  Sasuke?"

Sasuke's knuckles cracked smartly along Naruto's jaw.

"Bitch," Sasuke shot out crisply as he wiped his mouth.

Naruto cradled his jaw in his hands, tears in his eyes and flat on his ass, just gaping at him—well, stupidly. 

"What are you doing there?"

Sasuke sneered condescendingly.  "Sitting down idiot, what does it look like?  Do you need a dictionary to understand everything?"

Naruto chest just heaved violently, cheeks flushed but face pale and slightly sweaty, dark blonde hair damp and tangled.  His blue eyes were gaping, soggy and frightfully wide; he looked terrified.

He tackled Sasuke again, this time shaking his shirt in his hands and shouting into his face from that annoying 3-inch habit he had.  Sasuke scowled darkly.

What, did he think people couldn't hear him if he wasn't that close?  He probably couldn't understand them; but then there were so many things Naruto didn't understand it wasn't even an issue.

At any rate, Sasuke wasn't listening to Naruto.  There wasn't too much to understand.  He was surprised and angry, and needed something to vent on, and wasn't making any sense anyway.

"—ever wake me up again!  I could have died from a heart attack asshole, and what the hell then right?!"

Sasuke sighed and started to push Naruto off.

"Hey!  Are you even listening to me!"

"No," Sasuke muttered.

"--You could have killed me, don't you even care?!  You don't care, do you!   You—You—YOU!!"

"Are you gonna get off or do I have to hit you again?"

Naruto gaped.  He looked like a fish bowl.  Or…what was the saying?  A fish?  A glass bowl?  A duck or something like that, Sasuke didn't know and didn't care—

"Bitch!"

—But he wanted Naruto off.  He was breathing pretty heavy and Sasuke fancied he could hear his heart racing all the way from where he was straddled on the floor.  Suppose Naruto threw up on him?

Naruto—instead—just shook his head irritably, wearily let it drop to his chest with a tired and frustrated groan.  He was so damn tired and Sasuke just had to make everything difficult just like always.  Geez…idiot…his head was pounding painfully so much he thought his eyeballs were going to pop out, he had bitten his own tongue and all he wanted to do was just sleep and relax back into the darkness the cool inky darkness and Sasuke just had to…just had to…

Just wanted to sleep.  So much.

Naruto was in fact so tired that he fell asleep on the spot, eyes closing and body shutting down.  Immediately.  Even Sasuke could recognize that.

Sasuke scowled.

And collapsed right on top of him to boot. 

Without thinking, without allowing himself to feel anything, Sasuke lugged Naruto up gruffly by his shoulders and tossed him roughly on the bed, fighting with the sheets to get him somewhat covered.  And then he huffed, harassed and forgotten while all Naruto did was drool in his sleep like always.  Except he didn't really drool.  He just sort of…laid there, and didn't move much.

Against his will, irrationally, Sasuke's fingers reached out, but he pulled them back before he did anything suspicious.  Naruto was out like a light; completely gone.  Just like he had been the whole day Sasuke had been there.  Geez.  What a punk.

Still, Sasuke couldn't stop scowling at him.  He wasn't the least bit sleepy anymore; just worked up and irritably tired.  Naruto was so—

Sasuke inhaled deeply and closed his eyes, trying to collect himself and find his center.  The candle was right there, but that didn't mean it was a good idea.  It was tempting idea, true, but not necessarily a good idea.  Just an idea.  That was all.  But not a good idea.

Sasuke sat slumped against the bed in his impromptu nest, and debated what to do.  He wanted to sleep.  Naruto wouldn't let him sleep.  Much aggrieved, he realized he had spent another half-hour not doing anything.  He brooded some over how to kill Naruto again; he came up with the idea of fuzzy blue bunny slippers and some poison, and let his mind wander gleefully. 

When he heard the very slight and sharp inhale, Sasuke swore angrily and dented the floor with his fist.  Against the walls, the candlelight flickered.  Sasuke narrowed his eyes, waited, counted to 30, and heard the small, nearly silent whimper from Naruto's throat.  Again, he swore furiously, stood up and whirled on Naruto sleeping helpless.

Sasuke let his fists fall back almost immediately. 

He almost took a step back.

Shit.  Fuck. 

Definitely.

Oh…damn, what the hell did he do now?

Naruto was crying.

What should he do, what should he do, what should he do…???

He wasn't trained for this, this wasn't his thing.  Girls were trained for this, this was their thing, not his.  They held people and told them—stuff (God knew what) and bandaged them and made it all better again.  He killed things and screwed people over, he didn't comfort people.  He couldn't even comfort himself—what the heck was he supposed to do Now??  He'd never had training for this…

When had this happened to him?  What could he do?  What should he do?

His memory scanned itself automatically. 

What would—Sasuke bit his lips gently—what would she have done?  If Naruto had been him, and he had been her?  What would she have done?  He had been sad when he was little, he remembered; not all the time, but it had happened.   

Tentatively, nervously, Sasuke's fingers reached out again, and just ever so mildly in ways that you really couldn't document, brushed the back of his knuckles against Naruto's striped cheeks.

Nothing happened, but his knuckles got wet.  Sasuke scowled, perplexed and at a loss.

How had she done it?  He wasn't sure; why should he know at all!  That was forever ago, way before anyone was really expected to remember anything!  Why should he care what the idiot felt?  Why should he care at all?  …why should he care about anyone?

Sasuke knew the answer.  He shouldn't.  He shouldn't at all.

But…still. 

Naruto snuffled, and turned his head to the side. 

Sasuke struggled, swore, and made a point to stop thinking.

And he thought very hard on his mother; for the first time in years. 

Cool, smooth fingers traced over his flushed skin, wiping away the sweat and tears.  Just gently pushing it away, smoothing it over.  Running through his hair, scratching lightly at his scalp and pushing his hair back.  Cold, smooth, and kind of hard like stone, but still so gentle over his skin.

Naruto moved gently under his hand, slowly tilting towards him, leaning into the caress, because that's what it was; a caress. 

It was one of those…embarrassing occurrences that everyone goes through, when the action seems absolutely logical and indeed, even inevitable at the time, but on later cowardly reflection appears to be the most foolish thing anyone could have thought of at all. 

Regardless, with the warm sunshine—not really melting so much as warming—the late autumn frost, easing away the sharp edges of the icicles and reminding the ice of the free flowing river it once was, Sasuke really didn't mind so much.  It was worth it.  It wasn't a good idea; probably never would be a good idea, but right now it was absolutely…worth it.  Worth it all.

He sighed softly—with relief for the first time since the whole fiasco began, draped as he was across Naruto's chest, fingers brushing along his skin wherever he felt like.  Naruto was warm.  Naruto was very warm; most it probably from the fever. 

He looked so defenseless sleeping like that; Sasuke knew he was.  They were both were.  If anybody were to see him like this, he would never live it down.  Even if Naruto were to see him like this, he'd never live it down.  It'd be a black mark on his reputation forever, and his reputation was the only thing Sasuke should be protecting at all. 

He was doing a Bad Thing, Sasuke Uchiha knew.  Lying here relaxed with another boy, with a sick boy no less, and the Forbidden Child to top it all off with some mint and a cherry and whipped cream. 

This time, Sasuke did smile.

He was still pretty tired though; he really should be getting to sleep. 

Even though now he could finally think and breathe without all his mental chains, without all his excess emotional baggage he always carried around just because it was a thing he did.  That thing girls found so irresistible about him, probably.  They could have it.  He didn't want it.  It just belonged to him, but that didn't mean he wanted it.

He was relaxed, and impossibly…Sasuke let his eyes slide shut, one finger still sliding idly along Naruto's face, through his hair…his head was empty.  Empty, but he didn't feel—alone. 

How could he be alone?  Naruto was with him; the minute he woke up Sasuke would be scrabbling for the corners trying to get some space for himself.  No one could be alone with Naruto; he'd drive you insane first.  He had driven Sasuke insane; he would never dream of doing this if he wasn't.  He wanted to.  He just suddenly wanted to.  Sharp, like a needle of bitter maple candy.

And for a short second, a second so short it was hardly worth a grain of sand, Sasuke let the insanity get a stronger hold, because he didn't dream what happened this time.

Naruto still tasted like miso.

It had seemed absolutely natural to kiss him like that, to touch him this way.  Sticks still rapped against the side of Sasuke's head, saying that this was a Bad Thing, but Sasuke wasn't really listening to them anyway.  He was comfortable.  Naruto was warm.  And he felt so good.

Sasuke sighed softly, pretended he was dreaming again, and just continued to brush and move his lips lightly against Naruto's.  Not even real strong, not even a real kiss because—still—Sasuke Uchiha didn't do things like that, but what he was doing felt incredibly nice and wonderful, and a little like a real childhood.

Lightly, he bit down on the tip of his tongue, liking the way it roughed gently and rubbed his nose against Naruto's carefully, because—Who knew?—he was sick after all.  Without really willing it though, without really realizing it, Sasuke's movements were indeed becoming a bit too strong, a bit too forceful as his free hand cupped Naruto's shoulder, gripping a bit tightly, so caught up in his own murky dream that he didn't quite realize what he was doing.  He tilted his head, pressed a little harder down against rough chubby lips, and felt his heart paw at his ribs like a puppy.

Fingers brushed against his neck; a tongue grazed against his lips.

Sasuke tried not to scream.

He considered briefly transforming into Sakura, or some other girl, then blushed and sat up straight, eying Naruto coldly.  He was an Uchiha, damn it.  He'd keep that.  No one was taking that from him; especially not Naruto.

Naruto kept his eyes closed, still breathing heavily.

Sasuke's fists clenched so tightly the bones cracked, jaw clenched so hard it nearly felt good.  He was trembling. 

Naruto's breathing evened out, but he still didn't open his eyes.  His mouth remained slack; slightly open.

"Naruto," Sasuke spoke solemnly, not betraying the shakiness he was feeling inside.  "Open your eyes."

"Naruto you gay bitch," Sasuke practically snarled, furious and taking it out on Naruto because it came so easily, "if you don't open your eyes right now I'll sic Sakura on your ass and she'll beat it until you're not even a blond shrimp anymore."

That'd be a nice one for his pride; to have the love of his life beating him to a bloody pulp out of jealously for his rival.  Showing off how easily he could manipulate things, how easily he could manipulate her.

Cold and dignified.  Hard pause.  Waiting for the twitch, for the clue.

Nothing.

Don't hit him, don't hit him, don't hit him.  That won't fix anything.  Wait until he wakes up and then hit him.  Hit him real hard.

"She'll beat you into the dust for this you know, you perverted loser."

That should get it.  Naruto was notoriously thin skinned, quick tempered at the slightest touch.  Placing him and his teacher in the same category was guaranteed to get him going.

But he didn't grab him.  He wanted to; to shake him and wake him up and admit everything and then beat the hell out of him, but he needed him to wake up and admit it first.  He had to say.

Nothing still.  Sasuke was getting nervous.  He decided to try his hand at diplomacy; to see what happened.

"Do you understand that, dobe?  If you open your eyes now, I'll never mention this to anybody, I swear it.  Well?"

A longer pause, Sasuke's voice coming out a breathy whisper, huskier than normal. 

"Naruto?"

Nothing.  Just the pale serene beauty laying innocent in dreams.  Completely unaware how vulnerable he looked, how vulnerable he really was.  Completely missing Sasuke's perspiring anxiety, the hungry-angry look in his eyes.

Sasuke swallowed, and heard it go down his throat.  He clenched his fists again and opened them.  His temples felt frozen but his face was on cold fire.

"I had a dream last night," broke the words feathery against Naruto's still and parted lips.  "I dreamt…you…"

Painstakingly slowly, clumsily, Sasuke's trembling lips brushed against Naruto's warm still ones and Sasuke had to swallow quite quickly, wet his dry and throbbing lips.

Then he just closed his eyes and tilted his head and—just let himself go.

This was wrong.  This was wrong.  This was so wrong and Sasuke had never—hadn't felt this good in such a long time, in such a damn long time he couldn't even remember it anymore.  All he could remember was This, this right Now, and he felt so good he was sure he wasn't awake, he wasn't alive anymore.  He never felt this good.

Inside him, something cracked.

An animal sound stumbled up his throat from somewhere deep in his chest, his heart galloping madly in his throat trying to jump out his mouth, his teeth clinking against Naruto's, his tongue so deep inside him that he could touch his molars.  Fear slid off Sasuke's back in thick black marbles, clinking on the ground with a telling sound; he was so afraid he would have to stop before he even got a chance to really start, just like before.  Just like growing up.

He didn't want this to go away.  He couldn't have this, and as soon as somebody knew it was going to go away so fucking fast and leave him kneeling in the dust just like before and Sasuke didn't want that, not again please not again.  Not this, not this feeling, not this. 

His tongue touched his lips, pressed and kneaded them and sucked them in and rarely had Sasuke Uchiha felt so totally awkward and clumsy as he did now.  He didn't know what he wanted, he didn't know how to keep it.  He just knew he wanted it and Naruto—

Sasuke winced at the name.

--Naruto had it and if he just…

Just what? 

Sasuke broke away, breathing hard and heavy like he had just run a race, with a slight hitch in every third note from the pain and the fear of his stomach trying to slaughter itself on a stake, eyes clenched tightly shut as he tried to hide his soul.  He pressed his forehead against Naruto's because he was too weak to move further away.  He was too weak to do anything right.

He inhaled deeply, and prayed it wouldn't be as bad as he thought it would.

Sasuke opened his eyes.

They glistened, the angles wobbly but still sharp somehow.  The eyes themselves…you could pick out the ashy-gray this close, see the blue smoke color that wasn't really blue at all highlights around the iris.  Bits of burnt crimson, and the pearlescent black space of the iris without all the stars.  All that in a washy background, still so sharply defined but so much more fragile than it had ever seemed before.

Naruto's blue eyes blinked sleepily up at him, tired.  Tired and obviously not very awake yet.  Then, quite lightly, Sasuke felt fingers brush against his cheek, along his chin, and he could nearly imagine pressure pulling him down.

He opened his mouth and tried to say something, but then closed them because he didn't have anything to say.  Steadily, slowly, his head was moving down.  Clumsily, Naruto frowned at him sluggishly, and pulled down a little harder.  Sasuke followed.

Sasuke swam against his lips, into his mouth, feeling his hand cup around his neck weakly and try to thread through his hair, those burning hot hands in his hair and he couldn't hold back the whimper that dashed up.

The candle by the bedside flared; the vanilla wax translucent with heat to the bottom. 

He didn't know he could do things like this, didn't know he could feel things like this.  It wasn't safe, what he was doing.  Move his tongue that way, rubbing it and pressing it against and around Naruto's mouth like a cat in heat, like some base animal while little sounds came out of his throat, sounds he didn't even know he could make.  It was like dancing on fire, touching like this, feeling his skin trying to rip off his body and fly away.  Sasuke whimpered and moaned deeply, felt his bones scream, and drove in deeper.

His hands were everywhere…he couldn't control what he was doing, he couldn't control what he was feeling, he couldn't control—

Sasuke threw his body off the bed, stumbling on his feet and still backing away, his chest heaving rapidly up and down, hands held out in front of him.  On it, Naruto coughed, in a way that hurt to hear it.  His lips were bruised, and he was clutching his right shoulder.  Eyes still wide, something like fear still rolling off him in sheets, Sasuke battled himself quickly and won.

He couldn't do more but shove the glass in the blonde's hands, make sure some of it got in his mouth, and wait for his coughing to die down, and see that Naruto didn't spill too much water on himself.

Sasuke locked himself in the bathroom. 

He wrapped his arms around himself in the middle of the very small room, and stoically trembled there without a word.  A few minutes later, he threw up in the toilet.

He didn't come out until dawn.

***

Naruto coughed again, once, but the water cooled his throat still nicely quickly.  He let himself fall back, more tired than he had been that entire day.  He hadn't needed to sleep so bad as this; it felt like he was drugged.

Still, he winced lightly, blood-shot eyes taking in marked-up and mistreated ceiling, the candle next to him burned down to nothing.  He inhaled deeply and felt his heart soothe a little, slow down a bit to a rate that didn't excite him anymore, didn't frighten him anymore.

If you had asked him what he was excited or frightened of, he wouldn't be able to tell you.  His mind still didn't have dimension; still too cotton-fluffed to really realize…

Something Big had Happened.  He knew that.  Something…not really good but still so…important, that he should know it.  But it was…over now so…he couldn't do anything.  Anymore.  But he hoped.  That he had done all right.  Whatever it was.  He wanted it.  To be all right.

Lightly, unseen, Naruto placed his fingers to his lips. 

He fell back asleep that way, with his fingers cupped over his mouth.

***

Kakashi-sensei woke Sasuke lightly from his psuedo-floor-nest with a smile.

"No problems?"

Sasuke looked him in the eye.

"No.  No problems."

"Great!  Glad to hear it.  We'll talk about the ceiling later."

***

I had a dream last night

I dreamt you were by my side

Walking with me, baby

My heart was filled with pride

I had a dream last night

I'm gonna find a place to live

Give you all I've got to give

I had a dream last night

I'm gonna love you more than life

If you'll only be my wife

I had a dream last night

I'm gonna love you night and day

I'm gonna try in every way

I'm gonna find a place to live

Give you all I've got to give

--When We Dance, by Sting

***

A/N: I'm placing this before the Chunnin exams, because that's when Naruto beats the crap out of Gaara.  Before then, Sasuke's impressed by Naruto, I think, but still doesn't take him too seriously.  He still sees him as a little kid, or someone to take care of; too weak to take care of himself.

Naruto really does have those posters in his room in the manga; I saw.

This was re-written soo~oo many times.  First I wanted a super-uber fluffy ending with a lot of dream action.  Then I wanted an angsty-fluffy "Oh, I l**e you so much," ending with some tears and fighting and maybe a confession.  Then I wanted a super-cute but kind of waffy ending, just a hinting ending without any real action.  More dream stuff.  And then I got this.  Many Sandman references, I thought. 

I am thinking…That this is the final chapter for this story.  I am thinking so.  I definitely am.  Yes.  Good-night now, and sweet dreams ^__^