Life Sucks

By: Honolulu

Maria sighed as a cool breeze whipped around her room putting some of the candles out. She stood up from the bed and moved to the window; she reached for the shutters only to realize that it was raining outside. She stood still for a moment to watch the rain trickle down her window, the wind causing some of the water to splash on her face. She sighed again before closing the window. It had been two days, two days since her conversation with Legolas, two days since him along with the others decided to depart to Isengard.

And two days since her decision to leave…

"I have something important to tell you." Maria pulled his hand away from her face and gripped both his hands in hers.

"What is troubling you?"

"Legolas…" She stopped, unsure of how to explain herself. "I've been thinking about this for awhile now and I think it's the right thing to do. I want to leave." His eyes widened at her words.

"Leave? Leave Middle Earth?"

"Nononono…that's not what I meant."

"Then I do not understand."

"I'm saying this wrong." Maria bit her lip. "Let me try again, I don't want to leave Middle Earth but I do want to leave the fighting. I..." She hesitated, "I don't think I could stand to watch another person die in front of me." She looked hard into his eyes, "Do you understand?"

Legolas ran his eyes over her face down to her hands. He gently removed his hands from hers, minding her broken fingers, before standing up and walking to the window. "Legolas?" He ignored her and opened the shutters to the window, allowing the wind to infiltrate her room and blow out the two remaining candles. The room was now completely cloaked in darkness except for the little bit of light provided by the moon. "Legolas? What's wrong?" Maria asked, she was perplexed by his reaction. From her seat on the bed, all she could see was his silhouette.

Legolas had his arms braced against the wall around the window, his head down. "Legolas?" He disregarded her call. Maria stood from the bed; her hand went to her chest as she hissed when her ribs shifted. She moved slowly as not to disturb them towards him. When she reached him, she placed her hands against his back and gently placed her head by his shoulder. She didn't speak but simply waited. The stillness in the room was a bit eerie but Maria was complacent. From her position, she closed her eyes and breathed in his scent. She shifted her face so that her head was now resting between his shoulder blades. Maria did not know how long they remained frozen but when he moved so that he could cradle her in his arms, she was startled.

Maria lifted her head so that she could look upon him. The moon could not provide enough light to view his features but he could see hers clearly with his sharp eyes. She smiled at him when he used his hand to brush away some of the wisps of hair from her face. He kissed her forehead then rested his head on top of hers. "I understand." He broke the silence. "I take no pleasure in you leaving my care but I understand. I fear for you though. There are no longer many safe havens in this world. Where will you go?" He moved back to look at her face. She smiled at him again.

"To the only place I know. Rivendell."

Maria sat in one of the chairs by the table; her eyes scanned the room before falling onto her bag brimming with her old belongings. She reached for it and dumped out its contents. Laid out on the table was a pair of glasses that were a bit bent out of shape, torn tights and leotard, an old hairbrush, her dance shoes and lastly the crumpled picture of her family. She took hold of the picture first and tried to smooth down its edges. When she had returned back 'home' Maria had to face her fears about the loss of her mother. With time she had learned to cope with the anguish and move forward. She laughed a bit at the memories it held with her family and held it with fondness.

She touched the shoes next. Along with the picture, the shoes also represented a lifetime of memories. She ran the faded pink ribbons between her fingers before bringing it up to her face. She brushed her cheek against the satin and reveled at how smooth it was. Maria began to giggle before clasping a hand over her mouth. Still her body shook with laughter. "Ouch!" She laughed as she wrapped her arms around her ribcage. She tried to stop but couldn't and soon tears streamed out of her eyes as she continued. Finally her brief moment of hysteria passed as she calmed herself. Though many days had passed since her return to Middle Earth, Maria wasn't given much time to herself. Despite Legolas' comfort, her mind was still running in circles. No time to breathe and break everything down. There was simply too much for her too take in at once and though she looked fine on the outside, she was a wreck inside. That was one of her reasons for leaving. She couldn't heal in a place that was also broken.

Maria rubbed the soreness out of her jaw and wiped her face. With some unknown determination, she grabbed both her shoes and moved to the bed. She took off the small slippers Eowyn lent her and stretched out her toes before placing on the shoes. Mindful of her fingers, she gently tied the ribbons around her ankles. Maria perched herself as close to the edge of the bed as possible without falling off. She placed her feet on the floor in the pointe position and rotated her ankles. She bent her feet in the different positions to gain the feel of the shoe once more. After a couple minutes, Maria nodded to herself in approval before standing. She stumbled a bit; she forgot how the shoes could change her movement so much. She walked back to the table and gripped the back of the chair.

With its help, she ran though the five positions from memory before moving en pointe. Immediately as she started to rise, she hissed before dropping back down unto her heels. Maria cursed at herself for not maintaining her dance physique as well as she thought she had. Again she tried, this time she managed to stay upright but the weight on her toes caused her to curse again, she bit into her lip and tried to take a step forward but the sudden shift in weight had her stumbling towards the wall. Maria cried out as her ribs took the blow. She slid own against the cool stonewall unto the floor; her legs lay out in front of her. She coughed a bit and tried to control her breathing for every rushed intake of air made her chest hurt.

The door to her room opened as two maids and Eowyn walked in. "Maria, we-" Eowyn stopped as she noticed Maria's position on the floor. "What happened? Are you alright?" Eowyn knelt down next to her. Maria simply nodded as she shifted her legs.

"Your toes!" One of the maids cried. Both Eowyn and Maria looked down to see that at the tip of her shoes held a small blotch of red.

"Fuck." Was all Maria said before she fell unconscious.

Authors Note: I know, I know. Bad me, bad me! I know its short but I updated! The typical excuses for not updating sooner: life and writers block. To those who are concerned, I am not abandoning this story! I will finish it! And its only a couple more chapters till the end anyways. No promises, but hopefully I won't take as long to update. crosses fingers Here's to hoping!