"The Cape of Storms"

By: Trickster Kitsune

A/N: This songfic just came to me. I was looking at a picture of Vincent as a Turk from a doujinshi while listening to the song "The Cape of Storms" sung by Hyde. And. This is what came up! It's in the first person POV. It doesn't follow the game much and I'm just making up most of it. ^_^ And I'm not a big "Lucrecia and Vinny are Sephiroth's parents", but I'll be a little lenient here. There are small hints of shounen-ai. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Vincent, Final Fantasy VII, "The Cape of Storms", etc. They belong to their rightful owners. Don't sue. ^_^

Summary: Vincent thinks of his time as a Turk with Shinra.

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//So where do I sail?
A ship losing control.
My cries swallowed up, lost in the raging sea.//

I sail the sea of dreams every night; reliving my past sins, while trying to forget about the coming future, the future of continuous darkness. I easily get lost in the dreams of my past. I become lost most often in nightmares, where my past atrocities repeated in my mind over and over. I usually awaken with a cry, but no one is near to hear me. My cries are lost in a claustrophobic sea of darkness.

//So where has love gone?
Will I ever reach it?
The Cape of Storms echoes the pain I feel inside.//

My dear Lucrecia, you lost me when I became a Turk. I became so wrapped up in my work that I forgot about everything else, even you. I even forgot about our son. I know you will never forgive me, even from the grave. My ability to love died with you, I will never love again. That empty space inside on my heart, the empty space in my soul, I call it the Cape of Storms, because a storm of pain is the only thing there.

//You'll never notice,
The color of sin.
Just as the storm clouds close in,
It's dark.//

My sins have painted my heart as black as the clouds of a thunderstorm. No one is here to notice that darkness, for no one would dare to wander into the basement of the Shinra Mansion. Moreover, if someone were foolish enough, they wouldn't dare touch the coffin I sleep in. They would have to fight a monster to get the key to my door anyway. So now, I just lay unnoticed, cradled in the darkness of my past.

//Here in the shadows,
I am pursued.
Until the ends of the earth,
Embraced.//

The shadows that are my dreams chase one another in my mind. The shadows form themselves into visions of my past. One shadow becomes the rebel I shot, another becomes a hideout I destroyed. These dreams and more will haunt me until the earth is embraced in the darkness of the end of time.

//The ghost ship wanders far,
For there is no guiding star.
And this treasure has no meaning anymore.//

My dream-self wanders like a ghost, bumping from dream to dream. Trying to run, but not succeeding. I wander on no particular set path, for I have no guidance and I've *had* no guidance. I guess that's why I joined the Turks, hoping that I'd find direction of some sort. When I joined, I thought the Turks were the best organization ever. I was wrong. What I thought was a treasure, turned into a bloodstained curse.

//So where do I sail?
A ship losing control.
My cries swallowed up, lost in the raging sea.//

At one time, I thought I had found a clear path in my dreams. One where I could easily deal with my past. However, that path was lost. The one who led me astray was none other than Sephiroth. Infused with Mako and Jenova cells, he made my life a living hell while he was in the Shinra Mansion, slowly going crazy. I tried to cry for help, but my call was lost in the darkness of Sephiroth's mind.

//So where has love gone?
Will I ever reach it?
The Cape of Storms echoes the pain I feel inside.//

When Sephiroth finally left me to my dreams again, I thought that I might have found love again. Or, if not love, at least a friendship. Cloud was the one and only person that ever came and actually woke me up from a nightmare. I know that what I felt for him was just all of my pent up emotions for Lucrecia finding some sort of outlet, and he didn't seem to mind. We became friends and a little more, but the pain in my heart still swirled like an ominous storm.

//You know completely,
The taste of sin.
Melting sweet in your mouth,
Like chocolate.//

I found that Cloud had had a similar past like me. He knew what it was like to think you were joining something great just to find out it wasn't. He knew and we became closer, sharing stories of what we did in our respective groups.

//A moment of pleasure,
You are fulfilled.
But every dream has its time,
To die.//

After some time we began to share more than just stories, but I knew that would come to an end. Anything good that happened to me always did. With the death of Aeris and the Lifestream incident, he was never really the Cloud I knew. I knew the dream would die, but I wish that it could have lasted a little longer.

//The ghost ship wanders far,
For there is no guiding star.
And this treasure has no meaning anymore.//

After Cloud's return, I returned to wandering aimlessly in my dreams. I couldn't accept the change, especially when he abandoned me for Tifa. I don't mind really, I knew nothing we did together had any meaning. I'll just be content with the few happy dreams I have.

//Will this be my fate?//

Will I ever find someone I care about? Will anyone care about me? I guess I will just have to succumb to my fate and lose myself in dreams.

//So where do I sail?
A ship losing control.
My cries swallowed up, lost in the raging sea.//

I will continue to navigate through my dreams. I will continue to lose myself little by little. I may cry out, but the cries won't be heard through the sea of swirling dreams and darkness.

//So where has love gone?
Will I ever reach it?
The Cape of Storms echoes the pain I feel inside.//

My love for Lucrecia and Cloud has disappeared. I will never love again. I will just embrace the darkness and despair of my heart, while my pain resounds through my soul in the Cape of Storms.

~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: So, what'd you think? This was just something to wake up my lazy muse; it's not supposed to be decent. If this story/monologue thingy is good, I'm amazed. ^_^ Please review.