The Evanescence Series

Evanesce (ev-ǎ-ness) verb to fade from sight etc., to disappear.

The Songfic mini-series named after the band who wrote all it's theme songs, 'Evanescence'.

Title: My Thoughts Of You

Author: Just A Bit Potty

Summary: A fitting end leaves the world … and Draco … engulfed in bewildered sorrow.

Warnings: A heroic death. Probably doesn't have a completely original plot. Tissues may be needed. Songfic. Somewhat mushy (not too graphic or explicit or whatever, so I don't think it warrants anything more than R) sex scene between TWO BOYS (this means SLASH, boy/boy love, yaoi, homosexuality!!!, namely of the Draco/Harry kind!!!). Not as graphic as it could have been, to keep the 'mood' right. With slightly to not-so-slightly out-of-character characters. And a kind of inconclusive ending, but … it's supposed to be.

Rating: Hard R

Pre-story notes: The song is "My Last Breath" by Evanescence. If you haven't heard it, or any of their songs, I just can't believe it. You absolutely have to, right this instant! Also I'm perfectly aware of the likelihood that this would never happen, but I couldn't help but thinking, if Voldemort is so all-powerful, how could he not find a way to infiltrate Hogwarts? Also, I'm about 5 seconds from going 'grr' on my compooper because it keeps mucking up the paragraphs, and the bold and italic text. The weenie.

Disclaimer: As much as I kept wishing, is just ain't gonna happen. I don't own nuttin' but a few pencils and a few thousands art books.

Prelude to a Symphony

Nobody really expects the end of the world. It is predicted, the world holds its breath as it waits for the end to come. Waiting endlessly to cease existing. Yet still, it comes as a shock when you find your world collapsing around you. And either you fall along, or stand alone amidst the broken remnants of a once great thing.

Worldwide religions describe the end in many different ways. A fiery inferno, horsemen swooping down from the bloody heavens… Judgment Day. But what if the end came with a single death?

The Main Event

Hold on to me love
You know I can't stay long
All I wanted to say was
I love you, and I'm not afraid
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms?

~~~

Soft lips grazed his ear, chased by mischievous teeth that nipped at the sensitive lobe. A gasp was torn from his smiling mouth, as he squirmed restlessly in the arms holding him. He growled playfully, his own lips darting in for a brief kiss before he was pushed back onto the makeshift bed, pinned by trembling hands.

"Are you ready?" Bright silver eyes drove into his searchingly, clouded with lust. This was it… no turning back. Harry drew a deep breath, his eyes fluttering closed.

"I…"

~~~

"Harry, are you ready?"

Harry Potter's eyes snapped open as he was called from his memories. Still he kept them close, hugging himself with bony arms and surveyed the damage wrought by evil. Strong arms crept around his body, pulling it against a hard chest.

He bowed his head, black, dirt-clogged strands of hair hung over his eyes, shielding them from the horror that spread over the landscape.

"No… no I'm not," he murmured, turning in the warm embrace to lock his broken gaze on the only thing them kept him going. "But we have to anyway, right?"

Draco Malfoy nodded slightly, a smirk tugging up the corners of his pale lips. "It's not the end of the world yet, Harry."

"You just had to put the 'yet' in there, didn't you?" A mock scowl darkened the Gryffindor's features, as he allowed the light-hearted banter to carry his spirits briefly higher. A respite lost as his counter-part sobered and gazed at him solemnly, the faint lines around his eyes deepening slightly.

"We'll see," he whispered, and leant in to steal a kiss from Harry's trembling mouth.

They'd changed so much, yet hardly at all. As their heights shot up, Harry remained skinny with unruly hair, ever the hero of the Wizarding world, Draco still stood tall with a smirking, pointed face, as arrogant as ever. Yet now, as young adults the age of seventeen, facing the end of their stay at Hogwarts and a war that loomed on their doorsteps, rivalry seemed petty, and friendship had bloomed from necessity.

A few, tentative touches and kisses, and that friendship was soon a reluctant love. Both hesitant to acknowledge it's reality, neither had admitted their love until finally, Voldemort rode his war to Hogwarts and knocked on their door.

That was a week ago.

Harry's stomach still rolled at the sight of ghostly faces swimming in black robes swarming the great hall. Could never forget the terrified screams as doomed youths denied death, only to succumb to Avada Kedavra with disbelief forever etched on their faces. As a handful, they ran, all purebloods or the better-trained sixth and seventh years, and a scraping of teachers, until they found refuge in the most unlikely of places.

The Forbidden Forest.

While Death Eaters hunted its depths, temporary wards and boundaries, courtesy of the combined power of all gathered, held them at bay. Kept them from being discovered.

It would not last long. Already it had held for a week, yet its walls were crumbling as the forest burned around them, their only safe-haven ablaze with a venomously hissed, "Incendio!"

Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you?
Sweet raptured light
It ends here tonight…

~~~

Soft lips grazed his ear, chased by mischievous teeth that nipped at the sensitive lobe. A gasp was torn from his smiling mouth, as he squirmed restlessly in the arms holding him. He growled playfully, his own lips darting in for a brief kiss before he was pushed back onto the makeshift bed, pinned by trembling hands.

"Are you ready?" Bright silver eyes drove into his searchingly, clouded with lust. This was it… no turning back. Harry drew a deep breath, his eyes fluttering closed.

"I…"

"Don't tell me you're backing out, Potter?" those blazing eyes narrowed, daring him to chicken out. Harry's own emerald eyes widened, then slit indignantly in response.

"No! I only—" Only then did he see the tiny smile hinted on his would-be-lover's lips. He was being teased. Of course Draco wouldn't force him.

Before he had a chance to protest, a warm mouth was attacking his throat, drawing blood to the surface of his heated skin. Harry moaned raggedly, arching his spine as he threaded his fingers through strands of platinum silk. Those hungry lips devoured him, nips and licks following in their wake as they nibbled down his taut belly, leaving behind a trail of red bruises and bite-marks. Nails raked down his sides, eliciting lustful cries from the tormented.

"Draco!"

~~~

"Harry Potter."

He was numb to the crimson eyes raving over his form with distaste as he stood a battered soldier before the Dark Lord. Numb to the fallen bodies littering the ground. Numb to the dwindling number of Death Eaters as at last Aurors discovered their plight and came to their defense. Numb to his lover but a few feet away, hurling curses and hexes - most of them forbidden to school students - left and right.

Instead, in his minds eye, he saw Gryffindor battling Slytherin over the demolished quidditch field. Saw himself swooping for the snitch and clutching it in his hand just in the nick of time. Saw Draco Malfoy scowl in disappointment as the Potter Fan Club cheered.

He saw Hagrid standing smiling on the front steps of his hut, not engulfed in flames, not a surprised corpse, but healthy, happy, with the rosy cheeks that a wonderful life brings.

He saw the playful first years, still young enough to be more or less innocent, staring in wonder at the once proud castle as they sailed across an inky lake.

He saw himself and Draco sharing a first, shy, clumsy kiss under the crying stars.

"Voldemort."

"At last we are at the end," hissed the bane of his existence as he drew a crooked black wand from his robes, twisted by the evil emanating from its owner*.

Harry held up his own wand defensively. "Yes," was all he said in reply.

With the practiced ease of endless tutoring sessions, Harry sunk into the first stance of a wizard's duel.

Snow fell from the sky like tiny, white stars.

He should have known Voldemort wouldn't play fair. So how could he expect the sudden agony in his stomach as a violet curse turned physical?

His eyes widened in shock.

I'll miss the winter
A world of fragile things
Look for me in the white forest
Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)
I know you hear me
I can taste it in your tears

~~~

Soft lips grazed his ear, chased by mischievous teeth that nipped at the sensitive lobe. A gasp was torn from his smiling mouth, as he squirmed restlessly in the arms holding him. He growled playfully, his own lips darting in for a brief kiss before he was pushed back onto the makeshift bed, pinned by trembling hands.

"Are you ready?" Bright silver eyes drove into his searchingly, clouded with lust. This was it… no turning back. Harry drew a deep breath, his eyes fluttering closed.

"I…"

"Don't tell me you're backing out, Potter?" those blazing eyes narrowed, daring him to chicken out. Harry's own emerald eyes widened, then slit indignantly in response.

"No! I only—" Only then did he see the tiny smile hinted on his would-be-lover's lips. He was being teased. Of course Draco wouldn't force him.

Before he had a chance to protest, a warm mouth was attacking his throat, drawing blood to the surface of his heated skin. Harry moaned raggedly, arching his spine as he threaded his fingers through strands of platinum silk. Those hungry lips devoured him, nips and licks following in their wake as they nibbled down his taut belly, leaving behind a trail of red bruises and bite-marks. Nails raked down his sides, eliciting lustful cries from the tormented.

"Draco!"

"Yes, love?" came his tormentor's wicked reply, laced with a grin. He glanced up at his lover.

"D-don't… tease…"

"Harry," his breath was hot, coming in short pants against Harry's flushed skin, "I want this to last. We only have tonight." Draco sidled up his lover's body, until their harsh breaths mingled and their hips met, causing both to gasp. He captured Harry's wide-eyed stare, gazing for an eternity until the pale Gryffindor averted his eyes.

He stared out the opening of their crude shelter.

Crystal snowflakes fell around the improvised tent – little more than a transfigured white draped over a branch. They might have been frozen if not for the charms of warmth encasing their separate enclosure. The others were not far off, spending what might be their last nights with those closest to them… that were still alive.

He looked back at the Slytherin poised above him, and all at once the heat flooded his body again, pooling in his groin. He gasped and ground his hips upward, tipping his head back. Draco didn't hesitate to accept the invitation. His lips once again descended to kiss the soft flesh, as his hands slid down to the Gryffindor's hips… edging the material down.

Clothes disappeared with the help of urgent hands. Clumsily they fumbled with knots and ties, buttons and zips until they were panting, skin-to-skin, slim bodies undulating against each other as they kissed.

The way Harry's legs fell open was natural, as was the way Draco settled between them. The way the Slytherin's hands slid between his trembling thighs…

~~~

Only instinct had perhaps given the world a chance. When the Voldemort's curse was hurled at Harry's body, his lips reacted instantly without thought from his mind.

"Avada… Kedavra…!"

The secretly practiced, deadly curse spilled from his lips in a cry of anguish as metal slid into his body faster than he could see. He collapsed to his knees in time to see the Dark Lord crumple to the snow-kissed ground.

The spelled sword still protruded crudely from his stomach. Gasping for air, Harry's hand fell to the fatal wound, coming away wet with blood…

Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you?
Sweet raptured light
It ends here tonight…

~~~

A cry slid past Harry's bitten lips as Draco pushed inside, forcing his body open. Almost violent shivers wracked his body as he clung to the boy taking his virginity. His lips were sought and captured in a passionate kiss. Soothing the pain away…

"I love you…"

~~~

"Harry!"

Cold… so cold… Warm arms scooped him up, cradled him close. Frantic hands pressed around the gushing wound, trying desperately to push the blood back in, to close it with magic his hands didn't have.

Hysterical muttering, "My wand… where's my wand…Where is it?!" Jostled with roughness caused by fear.

Terrified.

Why… why is it so dark...?

Who is it…? Who keeps talking…?

Draco…?

"Your wand… Harry where's your wand? Harry?!"

The snow around them stained red like a blossoming flower.

"Someone… somebody help us!"

Closing your eyes to disappear
You pray your dreams will lead you here
But still you wake and know the truth
No one's there…

An anguished scream ripped from Draco's throat as no one answered his cries. Why wasn't anyone helping?! Why?!

Harry's faded green eyes flickered open. He saw an angel staring at him with fear in his icy blue eyes.

"D-Draco…? Hurts…" he murmured. His body jerked with pain. Why did it hurt so bad…? Was he… dying…?

No… no he didn't want to die, he was still just a boy. He was supposed to walk away triumphant… they said so… they told him so… He was supposed to win… He was supposed to live…

He was The-Boy-Who-Lived.

A perfect look of shocked horror painting his snow-white features, he stared up at Draco in panic. "D-Draco… I… d-don't want… t-to die…! Please… p-please… don't l-let me die… p-please… Draco…?"**

Draco shook his head and hugged his love close, "No! No you're not going to die… please don't die, Harry…"

Harry stared up at his lover with trusting eyes, "O-okay… wh… when I wake up… you'll b-be there… ri… right?"

"Yes… I'll be right here, I promise…"

"Mmm…" so sleepy… Maybe I'll just take a nap… so tired… at least it's not so cold anymore… "Draco… love you…"

Say goodnight
Don't be afraid
Calling me, calling me
As you fade to black

Harry closed his eyes and held his breath.

Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you?
Sweet raptured light
It ends here tonight…

"Harry…? Harry? Open your eyes, please.

"Wake up, Harry...

"Please…"

"Harry…?"

The End.

* I realize this probably wouldn't happen to a wand in JK Rowling's universe, but I thought it fit.

** Some of you might not think Harry would have this reaction… I don't know but I reckon if I lived the life he'd lived, found out he was a hero at age eleven, then had all these expectations dumped on his shoulders, and was always known as The-Boy-Who-Lived then I wouldn't expect to be killed either. I'd feel rather immortal by that stage, after having escaped death so many times… Plus I'd feel pretty cheated by life. And he's only 17, as well… I'm that age as well, and I can tell you I'd be shit scared of dying like that.

But that's just my opinion. Please review!

**NOTICE** I'm also planning on making this an angst-loaded mini-series. Tell me what you think, huh? ^_^ But only if I get at least 15 reviews, pleeeaase?