Disclaimer: I don't own That 70's Show or any of the characters :(
Author's Note: Another J/H it's short, sweet, fluff at certain areas. I'm having my own love life issues :( so I wrote a Fic to make me feel better. It's Hyde's P.O.V. It might seem a little OOC, but that's ok. It's just his thought on Jackie and everything. No plot, so no real storyline, just thoughts on paper told from Hyde's Point of view. Ok? Hope you enjoy :) R&R
Addict
Jackie Burkhardt was the ultimate drug. Nothing compared to her highs. I was so addicted to her, her scent, her taste, her skin, and her hair, just everything about her. There was nothing like her. And I wouldn't trade her in for anything.
In the same aspect she was something I could have never had. She was Ms Popularity herself. She's a cheerleader, materialistic, shallow, spoiled, selfish, and annoying. But… she proved that she could be more then that. She proved she could be someone totally different then what everyone made her out to be. She was totally different to what everyone thought about her.
Jackie had a second self the more accepted self. Her other self, the one I like to believe is truly her, is insecure, scared, vulnerable, passionate, and selfless.
It's hard to believe. But there were nights when she just wanted to hear me talk, about anything. There were days where she would press her forehead against mine and look at me with this crazy passion in her eyes.
Her eyes… they were intense. To understand Jackie, you had to look her in the eye. She was such a passionate person. She often spoke the opposite of what she really thought. And her eyes would tell you. They were a chocolate brown, which defied the color charts. They were clearly detailed. Almost as if they had been individually painted by hand. I loved looking into her eyes. There was a fire in them when she looked at me. A fire that didn't seem to ever die down, only get brighter.
Man, Jackie was something else. I never thought I would love her the way I do. I was attracted to her, hell, who wasn't? And I did like her at one point. But after it all, I fell for her. And I fell fast. I couldn't get enough of her. I couldn't stop thinking about her. It was hard to breathe without her perfume. It was hard to concentrate without her hand on my thigh. She was addictive, man. And I was a full-blown addict.
I loved the way she glowed when she was happy. There was something about the way she could light up an entire room, just by smiling her earth shattering, love-life, kind of smiles. And I loved it. I never felt alone when she was around. It was hard, even before I really liked her, not to get swept into some alternate world when Jackie had one of those smiles. Her eyes were like fire crackers when she wore one of those smiles. She was intense.
With Jackie, there was no longing for the past, and no begging for the future. All there was were the heres and nows. You didn't care what happened a day ago, a minute ago, or even a second ago. And you didn't care about what was going to happen next. There was only her, you, here, and now.
Though, she kept me on my toes. She didn't let me get away with my Zen beliefs. She didn't let me get away with putting up my wall and calling it a day. She was always searching me. Like she lost something, and knew I had it. Her philosophy was 'I'm Jackie, I can read you like an open book, so why don't you just summarize?' Jackie did have a knack for knowing what you were feeling, and she was very good at guessing why you were feeling that way. She was Jackie.
Though, Jackie had her moments, like any other human being. And she had done things that really bothered me. But she was still herself. She would do something, and then it would go away, a quick flick of her wrist. And if that didn't work, she really separated herself until she figured it all out. And she tried to make up for the things she did. She really tired. I couldn't be mad at her for long. Though even after I forgave her, I pretended like I was still mad. I couldn't let her know she had that much power over me. She would like it too much.
One of her best qualities was how she secretly loved helping people. I remember one time she said that she wished she could be like superman. And have a secret identity, and help people, without them knowing it was her. I told her that she was exactly like that. She never got it. And she never asked. All she did was kiss me softly and snuggle closer into me.
That was Jackie she barely questioned things. She either got it or didn't. And if she didn't get it, she didn't care. Maybe that's why I liked her so much, she had an 'I don't care' kind of attitude, but in the same sense, she cared a lot more then given credit for. Like when she paid for Foreman's ring. She did care that she was annoying Donna, and she cared that her friend might have to give back something that meant so much to her. So she paid for the ring, and despite what she said, she mainly did it because it's what made Donna happy.
Eric may call her a devil and evil, but they are actually a lot closer then they let on. Ever since last summer, during the Donna and Kelso issues, Eric and Jackie had found common ground. And they built on the common ground. I knew about Jackie and Eric's secret lunch get togethers, and whisper dinners. Only because Eric told me, in fear I find out and think something different. I'm known to do that. So the whole Eric and Jackie issues, was pretty much crap. It was something that out of habit around the gang they kept up. But behind all the high walls and closed doors, the two of them were good friends.
I trusted Jackie. I did. She had only done one thing to have me ever doubt her. And she tried to make up for it. Though it fed into some insecurities that I had from the beginning… maybe trust is an over statement. I didn't trust her as much as I led on to believe. Frankly, I trusted her to leave. And she didn't. She pretty much told me that she had no intention of going anywhere, except further in love with me. And her eyes held the fire, and they glittered, I had no choice but to believe her.
But, all things, all good things, come to end. Everything has a turning point. And even the addict needs to find a new drug.
I should have trusted her. But I didn't. And I did something crazy, something stupid. I slept with a slutty nurse. I can't even remember her name. I told Jackie. And she said it was over. So I said I loved her, but it didn't work. And then there was nothing else I could do.
But somehow we ended up back at the no-where state. A state were hasty decisions were made. And she decided that she wanted time to think everything over. She wanted her own space, do her own thing. And in the rush of it all I gave in, the fight was over.
So I'm still waiting. I'd wait till the end of time. Time is, and will always be, the only thing that you can't rewind.
And I'm still falling in love with her. Every time I see here walk across the driveway, or down the street. I fall in love all over again. I love her. And even if it is too late, I'll always love her…
Because she's Jackie Burkhardt, she's the drug.
And I'm Steven Hyde, I'm the addict.