This is what happens during the multi-keg party on Besaid Island after the defeat of Sin. Jecht, Auron, and Tidus are in this one; don't ask me how. Prepare for some OC goodness!
"Here dey are!" Wakka's voice exclaimed as he led his team into a large hut in the middle of the town. "Just set em anywhere boys," he said looking back at the Aurochs, who were ferrying 10 kegs of beer in the hut.
"My Wakka," Yuna said. "That's a lot. Do you think we can drink that much?"
"Leave it to me ya?" he replied. "I can drink em all by myself."
"Well what are we waitin' fer," Jecht said, grabbing the tap and proceeding to the first keg.
"Maybe because it's 3:00 in the afternoon," Auron replied, standing collectively against the wall in the kitchen.
"Hasn't stopped me before," He said, popping the tap in place.
"You can say that again," Tidus said bitterly.
""Now you shu'up and come over here and have a beer with your old man," he ordered his son.
Tidus sighed and nudged Yuna, who was sitting on his lap. "All-right," he said, grabbing a red party cup.
And that was how it started. It didn't take everyone long to start getting drunk, and by the time the sun set, everyone was wasted.
------
Auron was meandering through the house, trying to steady himself against the wall. "You are," he muttered to himself. "Undoubtedly drunk, and really have to piss."
He focused his good eye and started walking up the stairs. He barged in a door, assuming it was the bathroom. He looked around only to see a bedroom with various women's clothing strewn around. Auron was so drunk he really didn't know what to make of it.
"Ahhhh," he heard Lulu scream. "Get out of here!!" Auron looked around in a drunken stupor, trying to figure out what was going on. He noticed a very unclothed Lulu on a bed in the middle of the room. Directly below her was a very unclothed Yuna.
"Out!" Yuna screamed. "Auron!"
Suddenly Thundaga zapped him and he jumped away running and screaming down the hallway. He ran completely outside on a balcony where he saw Tidus and Jecht pissing off of it.
"Umm," Auron muttered.
"Jesus," Jecht screamed. "Ya don't sneak up on a man when he's doin his business Auron."
"Sorry," Auron replied, falling back against the wall.
A few seconds he heard Jecht's voice again. "Damn this is good shit aint it boy?"
"Yeah," Tidus replied, shortly after he made a distinct sucking noise.
"What are you two doing?" Auron asked.
"Those Aurochs," Jecht started. "Gave us something called 'greens' and damn if it ain't the shit."
"Greens?" Auron said, stumbling to his feet. "You're getting high with your son?"
"Where?" Jecht said, looking up the sky.
"Right there," Auron said pointing at a very glassy-eyed Tidus.
"Yep," Jecht replied. "At's my boy," he said shortly before passing him the 'greens.' Tidus tried to grab it, but it burned him and he dropped it on the balcony.
"Ahh," he screamed. "Damn thing bit me!"
"Who Yuna?" Jecht asked.
"No," Tidus replied before trailing off. "Where is she? I wanna get laid tonight," he said getting up, and falling down again.
Jecht started laughing so hard Auron thought he was gonna fall off the balcony. "Laid or laid out?" he asked.
"Laid," Tidus said, crawling inside. "She said that she and Lulu had some girl talk to take care of."
"They have a lot more than that," Auron replied watching Tidus crawl down the hallway to the bedroom.
"What da," Wakka said as he tripped over Tidus and rolled outside. This made Jecht laugh even harder.
"Uahhhhhh," Wakka moaned, his face still pointed down. "I don't feel so good ya."
He then proceded to puke all over Auron, which made Jecht roll on the balcony laughing.
------
"Out," Kimahri said, laying down his last card.
"Damn it!" Rikku yelled. "That's three in a row."
"Yes," Kimahri said crossing his arms in front of him. "That means I make new rule."
"What is that?" one of the Aurochs asked him.
"Rikku is beer bitch," Kimahri said. "Now Rikku, get me a beer, bitch!"
"Ahh," Rikku screamed getting up and stumbling over to the keg to refill the Ronso's beer.
"Gawrsh," Rikku heard somebody say. She turned around and saw two figures at the doorway, looking around at the drunken madness.
She then heard a loud crash as Auron stumbled and rolled down the stairway head over heels. "Damn," he said when he finally stopped. "That hurt,"
"Are you alright?" somebody asked in a weird quacking voice.
"Damn, I must be drunk," Auron said. "I'm seeing half-naked talking ducks."
"The name's Donald," he replied. "This is Goofy," he said pointing at the large dog thing beside him.
"Were looking for a keyblade master."
"You're not gonna find any masters here," Auron said.
"Only beer!" Rikku exclaimed, now finished with Kimahri's cup.
"What?" Donald asked.
"You can look around all you want tho'" Auron said, still laying on the steps. "And have a beer to while you're at it."
"Okay," Goofy said getting a cup and filling it up.
"Gawrsh," he said after drinking a drink. "This is disgusting."
"Tha more you drink," Auron said, rolling over. "The better it tastes."
"I'm gonna have a look around," Donald said, stepping over Auron's semi-live body.
---------
"I couldn't find her," Tidus said, crawling back to the balcony.
"Did ya check the bedroom brudda?" Wakka said, taking a huff of the 'greens.'
"Yeah," he replied. "It was dark and all I saw was her and Lulu's clothes, but I couldn't find them."
"Did you try the damn bed?" Jecht said.
After a brief pause, Tidus said "No," and started laughing and then crawled back outside.
Wakka and Jecht gave each other a glance before Jecht got up and said "We'll I think I will take a walk now."
"I dink I'll join' ya," Wakka said, trying to get up.
"Tidus," Jecht said, stopping in his tracks. "I don't think I need any more greens."
"Why," he replied rolling on his back.
"Because I'm hallucinating, and seeing half-naked, talking ducks."
"The name's Donald," came his reply.
"Woah," Tidus said getting up. "I see it too."
"You know what I'm thinking?" Jecht said still staring forward.
"I've got the munchies," Tidus answered.
"What?" Donald said, before squawking and running back down the hallway, with Wakka and Jecht chasing it, with Tidus crawling back inside.
"Wait for me guys," he said, crawling down the hallway.
------
"Hey I'm James," a man said to the crimson-clad man lying on the stairs.
"We'll I'm drunk," Auron responded. "But you don't see me complaining."
"I can see that," James said. "I guess this is the place."
"What place," Auron asked, trying to stand up.
"This is my band," James said pointing behind him. "And we're supposed to play at a party here."
"We'll this is a fuckin' party," Auron said, losing his glasses in the process. "Damn it," he said reaching for them. The problem was, he saw two pairs of glasses, and he was trying to figure out which was real. "We don't have any gil to pay you," Auron said.
"That's okay," the guy holding drum sticks said. "We'll just play for our weight in beer,"
"We'll get playing," Auron said, getting up and walking back up the stairs. "Who are you and how did you get here again?" Auron turned and asked when he got to the top.
"We're Metallica, and this weird dog and duck gave us a ride in something called a Gummi Ship."
"Hmmmmm," Auron said stepping back out on the balcony. He stopped as he saw three men gathered around a fire that they had build out of pieces of the porch.
"Auron!!" Jecht said, as if he hadn't seen him in years.
"What are you doing?" he responded.
"We're eatin' duck," he responded. "You want some?" he asked passing a duck leg in his direction. "Sure," Auron said getting it. "I don't even want to know."
A few minutes and half a duck later he heard loud music come from the bottom floor.
"What in the hell?" Jecht said.
"Oh," Auron said laying down. "Some band called Metallicamp, or Metallicock, or Metallica, or something like that."
"Sounds cool," Jecht said getting up.
As I was goin' over, the lyrics started.Music blared from downstairs. Jecht could see a large mosh pit in front of the band, with Rikku on top of Kimahri's shoulders. Jecht crossed his arms and grinned as he looked at her. She was raising her shirt, flashing the band.
The Kork and Cari Mountains, the music continued.
I saw Captin Farrell
And his money he was countin
Yuna staggered out of the doorway behind him, wearing only a long shirt and panties. She was walking very painfully, as far as Jecht could tell. "What is that?" she asked.
"Just a band stopped by," Jecht said, eying her legs.
"A band," Lulu said in the room. "Cool."
I first produced my pistol,
And then produced my rapier.
I said 'stand and deliver,
Tidus had his mouth open, watching the girls leave the room and walk downstairs. Yuna noticed him and stopped on a stair. "It's okay Tidus, I still love you, I just was curious."
Jecht then laughed so hard that he doubled over and fell in the floor.
"It's not funny dad," Tidus said, kicking him in the ribs once.
Or the devil he may take ya,""Son," Jecht said grabbing the railing to help get him up. "Ya know what I feel like doin'?"
"No," Tidus replied.
"Breakin shit!" he said with a smile.
Tidus went into the bedroom and grabbed a lamp and smashed on the wall. "There ya go!!" Jecht said, grabbing a nightstand. "Help me with this."
They brought the nightstand out and flung it down the stairs, parts of breaking up as it went.
"WHOOO-HOOOO" Wakka yelled as he found Auron's katana. He started flinging it around smacking anything he could. Aruon brought the TV out of the room and threw it down to the lower level, almost crashing into some guy named Lars who was the drummer.
Kimahri roared as he exitied the mosh pit and started picking up kegs, throwing them into walls and couches.
"Coming through!!" Tidus yelled as he had a flaming log from the fire and was running through the house with it.
"Here," Yuna said, bringing in many cans of whipped cream and throwing them into the mosh pit. Suddenly the place was covered in fire from Tidus and whipped cream from the crowd.
Musha ring dum a doo dum a daBy now the band themselves had started destroying things, kicking the shelves and pushing over chairs. The lead guitarist kicked a lamp over and sparks flew everywhere.
"Shit," Tidus said, throwing down the log after it burned him. It went on the couch, and before long half of the den was in flames. Goofy emerged from a downstairs bedroom with a pair of panties on his head and a beer in his hand. "What's goin on here?" After seeing the destruction taking place, he picked up Auron's sake jug that he lost sometime in the night and threw it through a window. "We don't need no keyblade master now!" he exclaimed
Whacked for my daddy-o
Whacked for my daddy-o
There's whisky in the Jar-o!"Thank you!" James yelled. "This next song is called Battery!"
Nobody remembered much of that night, but everyone brought recorder spheres so it was all on tape. All-in-all, it was a fun night.