Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

Chapter 18:

Not Quite Right

          McGonagall had been right. It wasn't quite as dramatic as it seemed.

          Throughout all the available records of instances similar to Ginny and Draco's a meager two of them had resulted in the tragic end Hermione's book had described. The risk was very low, Dumbledore had explained, and that was why he had not informed them of the possibility. He hadn't wanted to worry them further. That had been very Gryffindor of him, Ginny decided with enough acidity to rival one of Snape's remarks.

          Maybe Dumbledore had withheld the information for their own good, but – Gods, it made her angry. Hadn't they deserved to know? No matter how remote the chances? And the chances were fairly remote…

          So McGonagall had been right. Sort of.

          As faint as the possibility was, it was still a possibility. And that made it pretty damned dramatic from Ginny's point of view.

          She bit her lip on the many comments that rose to mind as McGonagall shepherded them all from the headmaster's office. No great loss, that. Most of them had been pretty inappropriate anyway, and besides that, what sort of insult could anyone offer to Dumbledore? The old man had looked at them with sympathy in his startlingly blue eyes, his voice heavy with emotion as he said simply, "I did not want to burden you."

          The man was good, no doubt about it.

          So good in fact that even Draco had refrained from offering harsh words, though Ginny could see he was tenser coming out than when they had entered. He stayed silent until they were beyond the gargoyle that masked the stairwell.

          "Bloody old git," Draco muttered.

          "He was only trying to help, you know."

          Ginny had all but forgotten about the trio, and she turned around to face them in surprise. It was Hermione who had spoken. Ginny couldn't find it in her to be cruel with her friend, but that didn't stop her from disagreeing.

          "Well, if that's Dumbledore's idea of help, I'd hate to be on his bad side," she said. She was fairly sure she had managed to keep her voice neutral.

          "I'm not saying he was right…" Hermione replied, looking slightly abashed. Harry and Ron had similar expressions; actually, they all looked a bit awkward standing there – probably not sure whether to offer condolences or not, Ginny reflected bitterly. "Just that his intentions were good…"

          "And the world gasps collectively," Draco deadpanned.

          The awkward looks became a bit more hostile in nature, but neither Ron, nor Harry made an attempt at revenge for the remark. Perhaps because there really wasn't anything to take revenge for. Draco hadn't openly insulted anyone with that comment – Slytherin cunning, Ginny wondered, or simply luck of the draw?

          "Hermione, we know Dumbledore meant well," Ginny stepped in, deciding to play peace-maker before she really had to. "But that doesn't really change anything…"

          "I – I know it doesn't. You have every right to be angry," said Hermione, "and I'm sorry. I… we could have handled that situation better." She glanced firmly at Ron, and then at Harry, for agreement. Their nods were a tad uncoordinated, but Ginny chalked it up to bewilderment rather than reluctance.

          Hermione cleared her throat. "Well, I've got to catch up on my studying – I'm falling behind after that time I took out to try and help you." Ginny gave a little snort. That wasn't likely to happen anytime soon. Hermione wouldn't really fall behind unless she was idle for the next century, but Ginny appreciated the sentiment. Hermione wouldn't have wasted her time on someone she didn't genuinely care for.

          "I'll see you later, Ginny. Goodbye." She sent a little wave over her shoulder as she turned to go. Harry repeated the motion as he followed, and then only Ron was left, half-turned to head down the corridor as well.

          "I'm sorry about the… the… everything," he concluded lamely. "See you, Gin." Then he left, too. Ginny watched them walk away.

          It was strangely ironic that the corridor that lead to Gryffindor tower and the one that lead to Ginny's new rooms forked the way they did. The trio had disappeared down the right hall, and Draco and Ginny would soon head down the left. A literal parting of ways.

          The rift was undoubtedly larger in her mind than in reality, and surely they had made steps towards closing it just now, but she knew things had hardly changed. Hermione would be more subdued and Ron and Harry would continue along the same vein as before, minus the self-righteous anger. They would all probably avoid her, actually. None of them had looked extremely comfortable in her presence, and they probably wouldn't until the whole star fiasco was over. Then it would either fade into memory… or she would be too dead to care.

          There was a cheering thought.

           But it faded to the back of her mind easily enough, looming like a black storm-head over her thoughts. It probably wasn't going to happen, Dumbledore had said. And if that was the case, then she wasn't going to think about it. She would act like everything was okay, because it probably (and hopefully) would be.       

          Ginny came out of her thoughts to find Draco staring at her, face unreadable.

          "What?" she asked, genuinely curious.

          Draco shook his head. "Nothing." She twisted her lips in slight annoyance, but he took no notice. "I'm going back to the room; I have Charms homework to finish."

          Homework. How irrelevant that seemed to her now, in light of everything else. She had all but forgotten that she would still have to attend classes at all. It seemed very far away to her… but obviously not to Draco, if finishing Charms homework was all that was on his mind. That irked her. And yet she couldn't bring herself to ask him about it – if this really wasn't affecting him, what was the point?

          Ginny shuffled her feet before replying, "So do I. Let's go."

          She took his hand in both of hers for a moment. It was warm and lightly calloused. At least he didn't feel like a rock, even if he sometimes acted like one. She stared at their joined hands for a moment before interlacing her fingers with his and letting them hang.

          "What?" Draco asked, one brow arched.

          Ginny flashed him a smile. "Nothing."

          His face said he was not amused, but Ginny noted the slight twitch of his lip with satisfaction.                  

"You must be either very vacant or very talented, then." She gave him a questioning look, knowing she was setting herself up and not caring. "To think of absolutely nothing for long moments at a time. I'm impressed."

She snorted and swatted him playfully. It was easy to forget about what might happen at times like these. It was even easier when he pulled her close and kissed her.

"Weren't we going to go back to the room?" Ginny asked, a few moments later. Briefly, Draco looked nonplussed.

"Oh. Right. That." His voice was heavy with distaste, and she smiled into his robe before pulling away reluctantly. His hand was still warm inside hers.   

The walk back to their rooms was quiet for the most part. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, but Ginny couldn't help wondering whether there was nothing to say, or if, like before, she was simply unable to say it. 

If school in general had begun to seem far off in light of Draco and Ginny's situation, then the anniversary ball had become practically non-existent. They were still forced to put up with the Saturday lessons, but it didn't seem as if they were working towards anything anymore. The ball was all but forgotten, pushed into the corner of Draco's mind like something he had to know but would never use.

The arrival of the Durmstrang and Beauxbatons students, however, managed to put things back in proper perspective.

They showed up in much the same fashion as they had before, though Draco could note some differences. The enormous carriage of Beauxbatons was slightly larger, a feat he hadn't thought possible. If it had been the size of a large house years ago, it was now nearing the size of Draco's own manor, and the number of elephant-sized palominos had doubled.

At least it wasn't that hideous shade of powder-blue this time. Instead it seemed to incorporate all of the Hogwarts colors – it was the anniversary of Hogwarts, after all – and miraculously they did not seem to clash as horribly as usual. Still, Draco wasn't exactly sure whether it was an improvement or not.

The visiting Beauxbatons students had already been shepherded inside by the time Durmstrang's ship rose out of the vast whirlpool in the lake. It too was decked in Hogwarts style, the crests of both schools flying on the flags and imprinted onto the sails.  

The first and second years, which had not seen the spectacle before, were positively awestruck. Actually, even some of those who had seen it before were a bit fascinated. Draco was merely semi-interested, watching the show with a cool countenance. Ginny, on the other hand, watched with young eyes, all her attention focused on the new arrivals as if she had not seen it all before.

Though Draco himself couldn't muster the same amount of curiosity, the look of contentment on her face probably could have kept him out in the chill for a while longer. Not that he would ever admit that out loud… He wasn't that far gone, although Ginny would probably pull him even further out as time progressed, what with their 'destinies intertwined' and all – Draco shook his head. No, I don't want to think about that.

          He abruptly took hold of his attention and turned it back to the present. As the rest of the students were beginning to move towards the castle for the welcoming feast, Ginny had begun to move in the opposite direction closer to the massive horses that drew the Beauxbatons carriage. She was almost near enough to reach out and touch one when he called out to her.

          "Ginny!"

          His stomach growled, and he hoped he could convince Ginny to leave the stupid beasts quickly. If he didn't know better, he would swear he could smell the feast all the way out here, and for a figment of his imagination, it smelled heavenly… ah, damn, but he was hungry.

          "Aren't they marvelous?" Ginny smiled, taking a few steps back to stand next to him, as he refused to come as close to the things as she had. "I wonder how they've gotten to be so big? They look just like muggle horses…"     

"Yes, fascinating…" said Draco blandly, hoping she would take the hint. She didn't, or didn't appear to, at least.

"Isn't it? And do they really need to drink only single-malt whiskey? I think I'll ask Hagrid about it."

"You do that." Draco sighed. "For now, perhaps you'd like to step away from the animal, and continue to plan for your future in care of magical creatures inside?"

"Can't you appreciate anything?" Ginny asked, sounding faintly exasperated.

"It's nothing you haven't seen before," he shrugged.

She bristled. "So?"

          He said nothing for a moment, the air growing ripe with an unfamiliar tension. In the silence, his stomach groaned and as fast as it had come, the tension was gone. Ginny seemed to deflate, and the world righted itself once again.

"Hungry?" she raised a brow.

"Starved. In fact, I think it might be in the best interest of the horses if we headed in to eat."

"Oh, alright." She looped her arm through his, as they trudged towards the entryway. "Only to save the poor things from your ravenous appetite."

"Since when have you been all for animal rights?" he asked teasingly.

"Since always. You've just never noticed before."

"Hm. Well, as long as you don't start growing a great black beard…"

Ginny laughed and smacked his shoulder.

          The quill pen moved across the parchment for a few brief lines, then stopped abruptly. The nib began to beat a tattoo against the page, and then it was off again, scribbling out the words slowly, as if unsure. The room was silent beyond the scratching of the pen against parchment and the crackle of the fire.

          Ginny Weasley sat at the writing desk in the corner of her room, her eyes fixed on the parchment in front of her. Absently, she raised the pen to her mouth to nibble on it. Of course, she was writing with a quill, which were generally not fit to nibble on unless they were one of the sugar ones from Zonko's sweet shop. Alas, this one was not.

Ginny frowned and spit out a small plume that had attached itself to her tongue, wrinkling her nose at the feathered quill. Stupid thing. Why wasn't she using a pencil for this anyway? Immediately she began to rummage through the drawer on her right for a more comfortable writing instrument. But when she found one she was still faced with the same predicament. What to write? Or more accurately, whether to write at all.

It wasn't something she should be doing, or even something she wanted to do, but… she couldn't help herself. She needed to do something. Whether it was productive or not hardly mattered. She just needed to get it out on paper – then she could crumple it into a ball and toss it in the fire and hopefully that would make her feel better. And make her stop thinking about it.

Reluctantly, Ginny forced herself to reread what she had written so far. She only got as far as the title.

Things to do Before I Die

On impulse she scribbled over it with her pencil, though it did little to hide the more prominent ink, and re-wrote the title.

Life Goals

Was what it now read. That sounded better.

Yes, she knew it wasn't likely, and even to her the possibility had become a little unreal, but it still sat like a hulking, stinking… thing in the back of her mind, and she wanted it out. Not only was it an unwelcome prospect, it seemed to create a harsh under-current between her and Draco.

 There were no major changes between them, but there were things now that they just couldn't say to each other without ruffling each other's fur. Not that they had always gotten along perfectly, sometimes, far from it. This, though, this was different. And she didn't like it, not one bit.

Ginny wasn't sure if Draco had noticed it yet; it was awfully subtle.

She blew out a breath and chewed on her eraser slowly, her mind working over the problem in low gear. So lost in her thoughts was she, that she didn't hear when the door opened behind her.

"Still working on homework? You're becoming a bookworm right before my eyes."

At the sound of Draco's voice, Ginny jumped, whirling in her chair. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw who it was.

"You prat," she addressed him, not unkindly, "you startled me."  

"Oh, is that all?" He leaned against the door-jamb nonchalantly. "Don't tell me you're not pleased to see me." 

Draco's hair was slightly mussed and soggy, and his robes were clean and immaculate as ever, though he managed to make it look casual. He had just showered, she guessed, after coming in from quidditch practice. His cheeks and nose were slightly flushed from the combination, but it looked good on him. 

Ginny snorted. "Not on your life," she said, rising to meet him as he crossed the room.  

"What are you working on?" Draco asked. He didn't wait for her to answer before picking up her parchment and scanning the first few lines. Instantly his brows shot up, and he leveled his gaze at her over the top of the paper. There was a moment of silence in which Ginny wondered if her stupid list had angered him somehow, but it was too late to wish she had never made it. All she could do was wait, not quite sure what to expect.

"I didn't know you were still on about that…" was what he finally said. She didn't know why, but the comment sort of rubbed her the wrong way.

"Well, I am," sniffed Ginny. "And I suppose you've already forgotten the whole thing."

The look Draco gave her was slightly incredulous. "I've certainly been trying to."

 That comment really rubbed her the wrong way. Her voice rose just a little. "Don't you care about anything?"

"What's there to care about?"

She paused. What was there to care about? What was there to care about?

"I… I don't know! Me… this… everything… I don't know…" Ginny trailed off, frowning into the floor and chewing vacantly on her thumb. The black heads of Draco's shoes came into view, and suddenly he seemed a lot closer than before. "I don't know," she murmured into his chest as he enfolded her in his arms. "I just… I don't want to fight with you."

"Then don't." His tone was light, teasing, exactly what she needed. She scoffed and cuffed him lightly on the head with a watery smile.

"As if it's my fault you're so unpleasant." 

"It is. I'm afraid you've rubbed off on me."

She breathed her laughter into his robes, and even though everything seemed all right for the moment, they held onto each other for a long time afterwards.

A/N: I got my first flame! It made me laugh… anyway, not much happening in this chapter, but it is a bit longer than usual. Sorry for the long delay… I know it's unforgivable, but please bear with me. I will finish this! Hopefully before Christmas… Thanks to everyone who reviewed!!