Short story! Fluffy family fic please enjoy 3 (its been awhile since i've written so please forgive me)

It's not that he didn't want to ask. In fact, Connor was bordering on newfound desperate hope that he received the answer he sought from the Lieutenant. What he didn't want, however, were the other answers. All the answers that made him nervous, awkward, and tense; things that androids- no, deviants- like him could feel, but only recently. "Becoming human" has been one of the toughest learning curves Connor has had the not-so-pleasurable experience of going through, second only to communicating these feelings to Hank.

Hank had clearly promised his support to his adopted deviant son (not like he'd ever admit he thought of Connor as his son to anyone anyway), letting him move in, buying him something other than that godforsaken uniform (multiple "somethings" actually), and helping Connor pick up on humans' social habits and cues since the idiots who coded his social programming seemed to forget what actual humans sound like.

The only thing to elude his and the Lieutenant's relationship is, unsurprisingly, physical affection. They'd hugged while meeting up after the Revolution, in front of Hank's favorite food joint, but… they hadn't since then.

Ever.

As this continued, Connor's worry increased for multiple reasons, making this a hard thing to detangle by himself. Connor very clearly remembered when Markus and North had kissed at their potential last moments during the demonstration, and he wished to feel even a fraction of that trust and love for another being. He'd seen humans on several occasions holding each other's hands, and obviously he and Hank had embraced that one time in the past. He practically craved physical attention and reassurance, but he knew that returning from cutting himself off completely was still an ongoing journey for Hank, and Connor also knew his face wasn't making it any easier.

As his LED ticked yellow, Connor sat deciding in the living room, while Hank had stepped off to go to the restroom. Subconsciously, this had been in the back of his mind for months, but he'd been actively mulling it over for the past week. This distracted him so much that Hank had asked him more than a few times if Connor "had a wire loose or somethin'". The myriad of ways Hank could respond left Connor balancing statistics, mentally flipping coins because of those statistics, and staring into space. When the click of the bathroom door opening startled Connor out of his thoughts, however, he felt the urge come over him to blurt everything out all at once. In that moment, he finally let the fire of his curiosity and determination take the initiative, stood, and opened his mouth to speak.

"I- um…. Uh." was all he managed to say before Hank's eyes came from the floor and met Connor's. Hank stopped where he stood, and Connor's pre-planned train of thought suddenly seemed all wrong. The uncharacteristic stutter from his well-worded friend made Hank furrow his eyebrows and look at him quizzically, waiting for an elaboration. When that didn't come, Connor fiddling with his fingers and finding the uneven, carpeted floor much more interesting, Hank tried to catch his attention.

"Uh, Connor…? You alright?" he asked slowly, not having any remote clue as to what this was about. Connor continued looking down, frowning and putting his eyebrows together.

"I just- I wanted to ask…. But…" he trailed off again. Hank usually would've gotten upset at the beating around the bush, but he suspected this was another instance of Connor's new habit. Ever since becoming deviant, emotions became involved in a lot more things to his android son, and he took more time to put things into words, especially ones Hank would understand. This was not to insult Hank's intelligence, his vocabulary was impressive contrary to his favoritism of expletives, but androids experienced things so differently to humans. Everything they felt was real, and they were alive, but their sensory stimulations are still lines of code and Connor always tried explaining everything away logically. Sensing this might take a minute, Hank resumed his walk to the couch and motioned for Connor to sit next to him again.

The deviant hesitated slightly, but tentatively sat down. Hank watched Connor's LED blink a consistent yellow, his eyes finding it hard to look away from the beacon of uncertainty. Connor was starting to wind himself up, deciding between asking the hard questions first, or keeping the conversation more light-hearted for as long as he could. Did Hank only hug him out of relief for Connor's safety after the Revolution? Or did he simply stop hugging him due to the understandably negative attachments to memories of his son? Had Hank always been someone who required little physical affection, so that a lack of it didn't bother him? Did he just not want to hug Connor? Did he just not want to hug Connor because of Cole? Would he never hug the Lieutenant again? Would he-

"Hey, Connor, what's the matter?" Hank asked casually, masking his distrust of the deviant's yellow ring beginning to turn red. Connor had been opening and closing his mouth, like he had something to say, but stopped himself from doing so.

"Do you love me, Hank?" he asked abruptly. The LED flashed red. Pleading, confused eyes. Silence.

The silence continued.

"I- I'm sorry, that wasn't what I originally wanted to ask you- it just came to an incomplete summary and I-" the deviant let the words rapidly fall as he continued trying to explain, but a hand on his right shoulder stopped his rambling.

"Connor… Of course I love you. You're important to me, and you remind me of…" Hank trailed off. Connor knew. He didn't expect Hank to finish.

"You remind me of Cole."

His aged face rose into an appreciative smile. He lightly patted Connor's shoulder again and looked into his eyes.

"That's not a bad thing. It's… nice." Connor looked confused. "Connor, I've seen the face you make when we pass the park. And you act all nervous around children. It's hard to miss." Hank jested with a chuckle. He knew that Connor was trying his best to pull Hank back from the edge (cut down on the drinking, better eating habits, less self-deprecation…), but anything that might allude to Cole, Connor will change the subject. Hank knew that Connor didn't know how he'd react.

"You're not replacing him, you know. You're my second son."

…

"And I'm glad."

A beat passed while Connor processed this. The Lieutenant's quiet, meaningful words settling in made Connor's thirium pump beat fondly and warmed his cheeks. He looked down at his lap and smiled slightly, but it quickly faded. He hadn't asked his real question yet. All the different ways he could say it- angrily, sadly, regretfully, imagining it made tears prick at the corners of his eyes. Hank had just said something profound, a new milestone in their friendly relationship, but Connor was trying to ask Hank if he hated him for whatever the cause. Tears then rolled out of his eyes, and Connor looked back at Hank.

"Then why do you never hug me…?" he asked quietly. "I miss it." He added, afraid of the answer just as he had been before, voice cracking in the middle and gently biting his lip apprehensively. Taken aback, Hank's hand retracted from Connor's shoulder, frozen in the air. Had Hank really never hugged Connor since their meeting at the Chicken Feed food truck? If Hank said "I just don't hug people", that would be a lie, and it would break Connor's heart. "I just forgot" would be even worse, and "I just never did" made Hank feel like it would kill him before Connor could keel over out of devastation. And those were all excuses. Because of this kid, he didn't want to make excuses anymore.

"You've probably figured out 'why' for one reason or four others… but I just didn't want to admit it." Hank said quietly, looking at his hands that had found their way into his lap, fiddling with each other. "I'm sorry Connor; I shouldn't have blocked you out." Hank looked up at the deviant again as a tiny smile formed. "Can you forgive me?" Yeah, sure it sounded cheesy like he read from a script, but sometimes pointing out what you really mean is better that trying to sound cool, Hank decided.

"Of course I forgive you!" Connor looked offended. "You're the best person I know, and part of this was my fault too, you know…" he trailed off. "I never thought to ask you at all. So I should be asking you: would you forgive me?" Connor said a bit meekly. At that, Hank stood off the couch and offered a hand to Connor. Once they were both standing, Hank opened both his arms wide, looking at Connor as if to say "Well?".

Surprise immediate, Connor then smiled and they both embraced each other tightly. Hank for the son he missed and the son he gained, and Connor for the man who helped him Become Human.