I Am Just A Fool

Disclaimer: I don't own Psych, the theme song, or the lyrics to "Down on Washington" by the greatest band in Country Music history: The Turnpike Troubadours.

What I do own is a desire to rejuvenate my writing and after re-watching Psych, my muse decided I needed to write some pro-Lassiet works. I am a mere mortal. Why should I argue? Author notes below.

The crisp ocean breeze was relaxing to everyone gathered on the beach except for the charlatan brooding at his deserted table. The breeze only reinforced the coldness he felt inside as he watched the happy couple dance lovingly over the sand dunes. He was half-tempted to call out a snarky joke about staying off the dunes tied in with a random 80s reference only he and his best friend (who was currently unsuccessfully flirting with a tired bridesmaid) would understand.

Despite his narcissism, he know on some level he had to blame himself for her departure. He spent so long in pursuit that he had no idea what to do after he caught her. The same charm that proved so useful during flirting was a double-edged sword when they coexisted. It was if boundaries were his best friend. He understood he wasn't the easiest person to deal with. Gus, his patient best friend, and Henry, his equally patient father, were the only two people to consistently stand by him. Even his mother was distant torn between maternal love and psychological concern.

Yet, it never bothered him much before. He skipped from job to job without a care in the world leaving behind exhausted employees and jilted lovers. It was all part of his drifter charm. Setting down real roots and revealing real emotion would cement him in one spot and that is one thing his ego wouldn't allow. He almost had it with Abigail, despite being torn for his feelings with Jules, but Yin and his insanity put an end to that.

It opened the door for Jules and he made sure not to miss it. He promised to buy a car. A false promise. In some way, he thought, they both knew it was a phantom promise. Destined to haunt them but never to be anything more ethereal. Despite some misgivings, they moved in together and all went well at first. Lassie even gave them a housewarming gift (a deadly pair of weapons) but the implied underlying approval meant more. Then, in retrospect, he made his first major error. He tried to push her con-artist father back into her life. Perhaps, he felt a kindred spirit with Frank O'Hara. The Bill Shatner looks and charm were irresistible. He thought he was doing the right thing. He thought. Thought of only himself.

His second and final mistake (weren't troubles supposed to come in threes? Where was his third strike?) came when she discovered he wasn't psychic just a hyper-observant man cursed by his father to notice details the average human found insignificant or overlooked. He knew he should have been truthful about his deception after they started dating but the con was going on so long and everyone was in a set pattern. Lassie would grumble, Vick would hide her frustration at his hilarious hi-jinxes, and Jules would try (and fail) to keep him focused. It worked. They solved a case a week!

He knew that the truth about his abilities hurt her more than anyone else. Lassie never believed. His inherent skepticism and low tolerance for foolishness cancelled out any possibility of psychics. Vick outwardly believed for the sake of solved cases. But Jules, she believed. She trusted him. She crossed her partner to bring him in on cases. She repeatedly defended him. She even enrolled him in the police academy for his own good (another event he treated with mocking disdain he ruefully thought).

Yet, she knew this about him. They spent years together solving cases. She had witnessed every part of his façade and still picked him. She knew he learned to bend the truth, that he was not telling the truth, and that he wasn't inclined to resign to maturity. Heck, everyone has a healthy dose of disillusion. You didn't survive in the world without it. Why should daily living change her mind?

He wanted to blame Lassie and part of him always would cast fault on the Irish head detective. He must have steadily undermined him in her eyes. She couldn't hold out against his consistent pushes. Not everyone was as stubborn as him unyielding to normal human persistence. Marlowe had briefly entered into Lassie's life and just as quickly left. He never heard the whole story. Lassie would never tell him and even Jules, as open as she could be to his digging, refused to yield dirt. Maybe she didn't know herself. Lassie was more famous for secrecy than Fort Knox.

He sighed. The ocean air was growing colder and colder as the sun sunk down. There was no point sitting around feeling sympathetic or jeering glances levied at his hunched over figure. Even his desire for attention had a limit and feigned sympathy was one of them. And he really didn't miss to see the Lassie and Jules make out.

He felt as plastic as Gus' credit card that was yearning to be used in his pocket. Spending the money from his best friend's spare job always made him feel like everything was right. He would go to some bar and get red faced and drunk and call her up and beg her not to go.

But she already went.

"Down On Washington" is one of my favorite songs from the band. Unfortunately, they are on hiatus right now but here is to praying they reunite.

The lines borrowed are the title and red faced and drunk and beg (you) not to go.

The borrowed theme song lyrics should be obvious to any Psych fan.

For another fic, I am planning on using the same song from Lassiter's perspective. Like all great country tunes, it is a timeless song that can be interpreted in multiple different ways. And it is catchy as heck.

Would Shawn be this reflective? Perhaps not, but in this AU, clearly something has changed. As for the setting, any time after Marlowe arrived and after the whole Frank O'Hara/ousted secret affairs which should have ended any relationship. I do not enjoy watching the strong character of Juliet O'Hara being railroaded for the sake of a toxic relationship.

That being said, Shawn's antics will always make me laugh but he is not meant for a romantic relationship. And he really needs to stop taking Gus' credit card.

And special credit to Loafer and other Lassiet authors for keeping the flame lit. Your works have been the main source of inspiration.

As always, constructive reviews are appreciated the most.