Disclaimer: I do not own Ratchet and Clank of any of its characters. This is long before the release of Rift Apart, so canon divergence is very likely. I was reminded that there isn't that much Courtarious content, so since I need a warm-up from two weeks of not writing and a depressive episode, this works well with me.
How You Like That
Within the deep sanctum of the inner stronghold, darkness flooded the security room. Fluorescent light beamed down from the numerous screens lining the far wall from the door, virtual holoscreens lining every inch of the long wall of the rectangular room. Computer controls surrounded a central chair, a monument for the security bot to hold complete control over almost every square inch of the fortress.
As the Lombaxes tore through the halls, robot soldiers blown to scraps with only a shot of an Alpha Disruptor, yellow and blue optics trained on the heroes.
"Lawrence, why have they made it this far?"
The butler bot hummed as he tapped on the keyboard to the security system, sending alarm signals through the barracks. "It seems the last few death bots have failed at eradicating the squishies from our dimension." With a simple flick of his finger, Lawrence flicked on the Enemy Indicator, locking all soldiers' navigations on the hallway the Lombaxes were. "Such a pity the violent deathbots were unsuccessful in their eradication of the Lombaxes… much like some other murderous robots that come to mind…"
"Can it, slave. They got lucky on Terachnos with the VX-102 and it won't happen again."
Lawrence chuckled, a quiet sound that was near silent.
"I mean it," Courtney said, a hand settling to her hip as her other hand shifted against the control panel. Her optics break from staring at the screens to look to Lawrence, narrowing as she gave a simple flick of her head. "Those squishies won't make it to His Dictatorship, I will make sure of it."
She looked back to the screen, glaring as yet another wave of soldiers began to fall to the mallet and wrench of each Lombax. "Those vermin won't know what hit them…"
"Forty-three… Perhaps you could make it to an even number of cursing our enemies before you, ah, 'teach those squishies a lesson' and 'rain destruction to those against our glorious robotic Empire.'"
A low growl came from the former pop star as her fingers dug into the control panel. Metal screeched and whined as she slowly turned her head, venom in her stare as her left hand drifted to the blaster hidden under her long pink cape.
"I would advise against shooting me, my Queen." Graceful fingers pattered against the keys, blue optics staying locked to the screens as more defenses were brought online. "As you have proven in the past, maintaining the defenses of the stronghold are… not your strong suit…"
Her fingers wrapped around the blaster as her other hand unclenched from the pierced control panel. "Why is it that every time you mouth off, you have a weaselly little excuse as to why I shouldn't end up where you stand?" An ugly sneer marred her face. "I've worked with studio producers and singers less slimy than you."
Lawrence blinked, his optics still to the screen. "Mm, I shall take that as a compliment, my Queen, as the music industry is equally quite known for how many vapid and shallow singers it chooses to endorse…"
"Why you little-"
Before the blaster budged from the holder at her side, the screens cut to black.
"LAAAWRENCE! COURTNEY!"
Neither robot budged as Nefarious' face flooded every screen, blowing up his image to the size of the wall.
"Why are the squishies not smoldering piles of remains?! Haven't I given you enough resources to take care of the disgusting squishy rebels?!"
Courtney moved first, her head turning from Lawrence to face her boyfriend's. As she straightened from the control panel, moving her hands from the panel and her blaster to her hips, her cape fell over her blaster, hiding it from view. "You have, darling," she cooed. "We have been running into a few problems however…"
Another soft laugh left Lawrence, much more sing-song and smarmy than the previous one.
Nefarious narrowed his optics, arms crossing as the robot pulled back for a better view of his upper body. "Problems or not, the squishies are still alive! I want them annihilated and their corpses brought to me before the hour is up!"
Courtney clapped her hands together, bringing her fists close to the side of her head. "And you shall have your wish, darling. Have I ever let you down before?"
The robot on the other end of the call stayed quiet, his optics looking off to the side while a touch of humility swept over his form. "No… you haven't…" he murmured.
"Exactly!" Her hands broke and settled back at her hips. With a puff of her chest, she smiled at the dictator, sweet honey dripping from her tone. "I have always defeated our enemies and this time is no different. Once the guards tire out the squishies, then I will swoop in and end them as per your wish."
"Well…" Concern appeared on Nefarious' face before it was brushed away, a stern expression quick to replace it. "And you're sure you can bring these squishies to their knees?"
Her head tilted back, flashing more of her smile. "Tell me, darling, who led the planetary assault on Marcadia?"
A grumble left Nefarious as he brought a hand to his neck. "You did…"
"And who squashed the major Resistance leaders on the final assault in their hideout on the Thran Asteroid Belt?"
Red optics rolled. "You did…"
"And finally-" Courtney lifted a finger before flattening her hand, palm pointed to the ceiling "-who helped establish a strong alliance with the Tachyon Empire, something that not only added to our armies and territories when our assassins got the upper hand on him, but acted as a turning point in our capture of Polaris?"
A mimicked sigh came from the dictator as he furrowed his shoulders and hunched over. "You did…" he muttered.
"Exactly the point, darling." Her hands left her hips and snuck to the blaster at her back. With a simple tug, the blaster was out and skilled fingers readied the weapon for firing. "The squishies will be melted mush by the time I'm finished with them, and before you know it, we'll be mounting their heads outside the stronghold as the final crushing blow to any left to oppose us."
"You make it sound easy…" Nefarious waved his hand, some of the earlier anger returning. "These squishies are a lot more resilient than the other ones, and that yellow Lombax…" His optics narrowed, claws curling into fists. "He's even harder to annihilate than the girl."
A small scoff left Courtney. "What? Are you worried for me?"
"NO!" Nefarious' optics looked everywhere but the camera. "I'm just noting that these morons are a lot harder to kill than any squishy we've fought before. So, watch out or whatever."
The blaster shifted to her right hand as her left hand lifted to cup her cheek. "Oh darling… you're so cute when you deny your feelings for me…" Another laugh left her as she dropped her hand back to her side. "They're nothing. You'll see…"
"Yes… we will see…" Lawrence drawled as he tapped his index fingers together, his hands clasped over his stomach. "Though as much as I am loathe to end this conversation between such lovebirds, the squishies are still making headway within the stronghold." He paused, blue optics blinking slowly. "The video communication stalls me from sending further soldiers to the rebels' location…"
Both Nefarious and Courtney rolled their optics as grumbles left them.
"Fine," Courtney huffed, looking back down at her blaster before bringing her gaze back up to Nefarious. "I love you, Snookie-Wookums…"
Groans of disgust came from Nefarious as he smacked his hands over his face. "I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT!"
Courtney stayed quiet as she watched Nefarious deflate, his shoulders dipping back down with humility as he peeked out between his fingers.
She waited, the evil grin growing on her face.
"Love you, too," Nefarious grumbled, the words faint and barely audible. "Good luck in dealing with the squishies…"
She turned on her heel, cape swirling and smacking Lawrence in the side as she strutted to the door. "Luck will have nothing to do with it, darling. I hope you enjoy the show…"
As the beep of the communicator cutting out echoed in her ears, Lawrence's faint words just barely reached her.
"Ah… what a show this shall be…" he cooed as the door swished open. "May the odds be in your favor, my Queen…"
Courtney looked down at the Lombaxes from the metal gangway where she stood, high above the warehouse where her special brand of soldiers were made. Even in this section of the stronghold, the Lombaxes looked just as lost as they had everywhere else, their eyes looking everywhere for some semblance of direction.
"There's got to be some way to shut these down… See anything, Mallet?!"
"No!" Light flashed as the hammer slammed down on a soldier's head, shattering the glass and wirework. "I already double-checked the entrance and right side, but there's nothing there that can help us out!"
The yellow Lombax sighed and as he turned, Courtney caught the small robot on his back. "Alright… Clank and I'll cover the left side!" he yelled as he shot at a robot gaining on his right. "There's something familiar about this place… I think there's something here that should shut down the bot makers!"
A laugh left Courtney as she thumbed a remote communicator from one of the thin pocked sown inside the cape.
Enough was enough. The Lombaxes would get no further.
With a press of the button on the communicator's side, Courtney leaned her mouth close to the speaker.
"Well, now, what do we have here?" she asked, her voice booming around the room.
The yellow Lombax's ears jerked up almost instantly, and Courtney caught recognition flashing in his eyes as he whirled around. He murmured something, something the robot on his back picked up.
"I'll tell you what I see… I see two squishies and one traitor to Dictator Nefarious' Great Empire, rebels that strike against our great leader in the name of so-called 'freedom…'"
Green eyes darted around as the yellow Lombax kept whirling around, his wrench raised. "I know it's you, Courtney! Why don't you stop hiding behind that 'great' boyfriend of yours and come out and fight?!"
Her finger lifted off the button for a beat as a confused hum left her. Golden optics studied his face, trying in vain to recognize the Lombax from anywhere in her past, but her memory banks drew nothing.
They hadn't met before. How did he know her name?
Then again, this was supposed to be someone from an alternate dimension, so she could only assume it meant that she was well-known from where he had come from.
"As you wish," she cooed into the communicator, another finger sliding to press another button. "Though, I prefer to have an audience while I perform…"
Mallet's piercing scream echoed around every corner of the massive room as Courtney pressed the button.
"MALLET!"
Metal supports hovered over Mallet's electrocuted form as bright magenta plasma spiked down, locking the hurt Lombax in a cage. The cage floated up, then darted away as parts of the floor dropped away into the lava underneath the room.
The yellow Lombax stretched an arm out to his friend before the disappearing floor gave him a reason to move back.
With a flick of her hand, Courtney tossed the communicator to the side and hopped over the side of the railing. Her feet caught at the edge of the rail, and with a nimble push of her legs, the former pop star rocketed to the large water pipe just off from the circular platform. Multicolored lights flashed up from the platform as she flipped around the pipe, as a gymnast would have done, and swung toward the platform.
Her heels slammed against the gray metal of the floor, startling the yellow Lombax and robot and drawing their attention to her.
As the Lombax whipped out a blaster, a shotgun-type of weapon, Courtney raised from her crouched landing.
"Ratchet…" the other Lombax called out, her organic hand weakly grasping toward the plasma keeping her in the cage.
"A pity you won't be Biobliterated like the rest of the rebels, Ratchet," she taunted, swishing back her hair. "You would have enjoyed being a robot…"
Ratchet groaned as he took a step back and readied himself. "Oh… what a déjà vu… Clank, you think Nefarious will forgive us for this?"
"To be ever fair," the robot on his back said, "this is not our Nefarious' romantic partner, and she is no more our Courtney Gears than Dictator Nefarious is our Nefarious."
"Ah, good." Ratchet eyed the soldiers descending from the massive machines, each soldier modeled after Courtney. "Just wanted confirmation before I blow-up yet another one of Nefarious' girlfriends…"
"I can assure you, squishy, you will not win this fight," she growled, pulling the blaster from her holder. "I don't know where you've come from, but in this dimension, I'm the best of the best. I've led armies, crushed rebellions, and toppled other empires without breaking a sweat. You're nothing to me."
"Glad to know the music industry's looking for 'empire-topplers' and 'rebellion-crushers' on resumes now," Ratchet quipped back, eyeing the soldiers leaping onto the platform. He shifted on his feet, just starting to make the wide circle around Courtney.
Purple-colored soldiers peppered the platform, leaping from pipes and cracking their plasma whips as their heels clacked against the platform. The multicolored lights from earlier exploded in a rainbow of color behind Courtney, causing the Lombax to blink and squint for his target. Music, techno-mixed and earsplittingly loud, poured in and echoed around the room, setting the stage for the fight to come.
"Enemies against our great Dictator will be struck down," Courtney yelled, stretching out her free arm towards Ratchet and curling her fingers into her palm. "You have one last chance. Surrender yourself for a quick death, or face the wrath of those who threaten our Empire!"
Ratchet squinted against the bright lights, grinning as he pointed the shotgun at Courtney. "I said it before, and I'll say it again… 'Let's see if you can fight better than you can sing!'"
The music cut out, blanketing the room in silence, and just before the music came back, Courtney lowered herself into an offensive position. A predatory grin stretched across her mouth, and her hand grasped at the clasp of her cape.
"…Then let the show begin!"
Song Inspos: "How You Like That" and "DDU-DU DDU-DU" by BLACKPINK. I'm just starting to listen to their music, but I'll say this, if a revamped Courtney Gears ever showed up and her boss music was anything like "DDU-DU DDU-DU" it would probably be my favorite boss fight in the game.
The Imposter Syndrome is super strong at the moment, along with the fact that this is a warm-up thing and I usually shouldn't post warm-ups, but I figured I'd throw this out there since I've been thinking about writing a few Rift Apart theory fics before the game comes out. This isn't my best work, but I hope this was enjoyable at the very least!
This included an alternate universe Nefarious (and Courtney), because there are some A4O stans that have been waiting ten years for Nef to complete a character arc and don't want him to throw it away in a minute-long cutscene (hi, I'm A4O stans). Theory is that the Nef from Ratchet's dimension may come and fight his alternate universe self, but I don't hold much hope for that to be true, so this is a way to give myself some hope before the game comes out.
Other than all that, I hope you all enjoyed, and I'll try to get out some more Ratchet and Clank stuff soon! Thank you so much for reading, and as always, a thank you to those that leave reviews and kudos to my stories!
XD