"Look who just adopted twins."

In the oversized room that serves as their home office, Kageyama approaches to peer at the monitor over Hinata's shoulder. Hinata rushes to click his other tabs closed and Kageyama sees pornis-coitus-something for a split second before Hinata wipes the screen clean. He laughs under his breath, incapable of imagining his husband Googling anything that would bother him.

Leaning in close, his warm breath tickles Hinata's cheek. He pays no mind to preserve personal space; they share everything: this small desk, the laptop that sits on it, and everything else in their lives. He braces himself against Hinata's shoulder, bending over the back of the tall leather chair. Caging Hinata's small hand with his much larger one, he takes control of the mouse.

"Hmm." Kageyama clicks through just a few of the many dozens of photographs their friends have posted to Facebook. They all look the same to him. Each one is of some baby sucking on a pacifier or napping. "Good for them I guess."

"Bokuto told me Akaashi finally agreed to quit his job and become a stay-at-home dad," Hinata says. He knocks his head back against the chair with a soft thud and peers up at Kageyama.

"Good for them," Kageyama repeats, meeting his eyes.

"That's everyone," Hinata clarifies. "Everyone's having kids."

"Kenma doesn't have kids,"

"That's different," Hinata mumbles, sinking lower, his body slipping forward half out of the chair. He turns back to the computer and resumes scrolling Facebook. Kageyama watches, overwhelmingly disinterested, as image after image blurs past. Nearly every picture is of some child.

"Do you want kids?" Kageyama asks, suddenly wanting to rip out the computer's power cable.

"No."

"Then why are you making that face?"

"I'm not making a face," Hinata mumbles. In the glowing reflection of the screen, Kageyama can see it clearly: his face is all hard lines, lip curled into a rare frown, eyes glazed over with an emotion Kageyama easily identifies as envy.

"Tch." Kageyama steps back and crosses his arms. Hinata scrolls for a few more minutes before he suddenly swivels in the chair, tapping the floor with both feet to stop himself before he spins back around the whole way.

"Maybe I do feel a little left out," Hinata finally confesses softly, cheeks pink.

"Our lives are awesome," Kageyama points out. "Just post about that."

"I try!" Hinata whines. His hands fly to his hair, tugging in agitation. "Last time I did, you know, when we got that joint Mikasa sponsorship? Suga-san replied to my post with, 'You know what brings me joy? Burping my infant daughter.' Ew? What the hell? When did our friends get so lame?"

"Just delete Facebook," Kageyama suggests, not for the first time.

"No, we just need better things to post about."

"We're not adopting a kid just so you can win Facebook."

"God no," Hinata says, laughing hard.

Their lives are awesome. Though they're apart often, due to their respective seasons with the Adlers and Jackals, it just makes their shared time together that much sweeter. The solo apartments are small and basic, but their shared home is insanely lavish. Despite some occasional loneliness, they've scored a near-perfect life together. The games they get to play against each other are second only to the times they share courts around the world as representatives for Team Japan.

Neither has any desire for kids, likely ever, and at least not for a very, very long time.

"I know something way better than kids though," Hinata adds, suddenly jumping up.

When Hinata steps toward him, hips swaying, hands outstretched, eyes peering straight up to accentuate their height differences, Kageyama suddenly knows he's about to get sweet-talked into another life-changing decision. There is no defense, no chance to say no. Kageyama drops his shoulders and sighs, letting Hinata slide into his arms.

"Whatever you want."

They've been on the road for over thirty minutes before Kageyama even asks where they're going, let alone why, and he's the one driving.

"Laketown!" Hinata replies cheerfully—and unhelpfully.

Laketown, as the largest mall in Japan, sells almost everything, so this in no way helps him.

They arrive another fifteen minutes later and Hinata guides Kageyama toward the 'Tree' section of the gigantic shopping complex. Jittery and too honest for his own good, Hinata fails to act casual enough as he suggests Kageyama park near the pet store, and suddenly everything clicks into place. Kageyama panics and blurts out the first thing that comes to mind.

"No ferrets."

Hinata twists to shoot him a look of wide-eyed surprise, but he's clearly holding back laughter.

"What's wrong with ferrets?"

"They're..." Kageyama trails off, looking distraught. He glances down and shakes his head a little, fighting a shudder. "Too bendy and unpredictable."

"Well, we're not getting a ferret, so don't mind," Hinata assures him.

He doesn't, however, deny they're about to walk into the pet store. Instead, he unbuckles his seatbelt and hops out of the car. Kageyama stumbles out after him and jogs to catch up.

"We travel too much for a dog," he grumbles, following two steps behind Hinata.

Hinata keeps walking ahead, arms swinging confidently at his sides. "Not a dog!"

"What's your plan for when we're apart?" Kageyama asks. "Who will take care of—whatever it is?"

"We'll each take one!" Hinata says, clapping his hands together with excitement.

"Each—what? Hinata."

Hinata stops just a few steps from the doors of the pet store and spins on his heels. He knows he's in trouble; Kageyama doesn't bust out his surname much anymore. His hands are folded together in front of himself, arms forming a perfect "V", as he peers at Kageyama with a look of pure innocence, blinking cutely.

"Yes?"

"What plan did you form in that stupid head of yours?"

"Just come with me!" Hinata pleads, his voice finally starting to show the smallest hint of desperation. "You'll love them when you meet them."

"Hinata."

"They're not real kids!"

Kageyama makes a show of moving his eyes to the signage of the pet store. There are huge cutesy anime drawings of puppies, kittens, birds, reptiles, and guinea pigs. It is clearly a pet store. Only an idiot would think they could walk out of here with a human child. Kageyama slowly drags his narrowed eyes back to Hinata, expressing all of this with a look.

"Did you come here without me and already pick something out?"

"You're gonna love them so much—"

"Hinata," Kageyama growls, quickly becoming pissed off.

"There's one for each of us—"

"Hinata."

"But they also get along really well with each other—"

"Hinata!" Kageyama barks, his brow twitching. "What are they? "

"They're birds!"

"Like crows?" His mind immediately flashes with images of their high school mascot. Terrifying creatures perched atop piles of garbage with razor-sharp claws and glowing red eyes.

"No, peach-faced lovebirds! They're really cute and cuddly—"

"You did this without me?" Kageyama asks, his anger flaring up again.

"I knew you'd say yes," Hinata says cautiously. He tries to hold a smile though it's obvious he can sense his mistake. Kageyama doesn't like to be left out of things. It brings up too many painful memories of a time before he knew Hinata, before he knew what it felt like to be included.

Kageyama thinks of Hinata bonding ahead of time with these things, stupid animals that probably wouldn't like him as much anyway. Fine. Everyone loves Hinata, and that's fine. He's fucking lovable. But then Kageyama still didn't get to see Hinata's face the first time he met the dumb things, and maybe Kageyama wanted to be there for that.

"Well now I'm saying no," Kageyama hisses through clenched teeth.

"What, no!" Hinata cries, his smile melting into a horrified frown immediately. "You can't! I promised them I'd bring them home today!"

Kageyama just knows somehow that Hinata means he promised the birds and not some employee at the store. This only makes him angrier somehow.

"Come on, we're going home," he growls, turning and heading back to the car.

Kageyama grabs for Hinata's hand but Hinata yanks it away violently. When Kageyama looks back, Hinata is breathing in heavy, stuttered puffs, his lip is quivering, and his eyes are watering fast. It's been a long time since Kageyama made Hinata cry, and even longer since he did so in public.

Right on cue, a middle-aged woman in a pink dress and stilettos walks by holding a poodle. She notices Hinata's state and gives Kageyama a pointed icy stare. Kageyama caves immediately.

"Fine."

"Yes!"

Like a light switch has been flipped, Hinata dabs his eyes and is cheerful once again.

"I'm just agreeing to look at it," Kageyama warns.

"Meet them," Hinata corrects.

Hinata grabs Kageyama's hand before he can second-guess himself and pulls him into the store, guiding him straight toward the back. He makes a sharp left turn and Kageyama glances up to see a huge cardboard cut-out of two chibi parrots hanging from the ceiling. When he looks back down, Hinata has tugged him in front of a rather large cage labeled female Agapornis roseicollis.

The cage is about three feet tall, sitting on an equally high stand, making it taller than Hinata. Inside is a long wooden ladder connecting the two sides at a slope and decorated with colorful beads. There are little dishes filled with water and seeds, sheets of newspaper lining the bottom, and a lot of empty space.

The birds are snuggled together in the back, cramped together on a single rung of the ladder. Both are about the size of a fist, with small black eyes and sharp little feet. One is a muted green and the other banana yellow, but each has a huge splotch of peach color spray-painted over her face.

The green one is slightly bigger and puffs up at the sight of Kageyama, using her body to nudge the yellow one further back. When Hinata steps forward, however, both let out excited chirps and hop forward, bouncing along the ladder toward him, one rung at a time.

"How many times have you been here?" Kageyama asks, narrowing his eyes.

Hinata avoids the question, instead raising his hand and gesturing to one of the employees of the store, a young woman in black pants and a magenta AEON PET polo.

"Excuse me," he calls to her, and then nudges Kageyama to whisper, "Do you want to hold them?"

"No."

"Oh, Hinata-kun!" the employee shouts in return, hurrying over. "Back again! And you brought your husband this time. Does that mean you're finally going to take the girls home today?"

"Yes!"

"No."

Hinata shoots Kageyama a look, eyes narrowed and nose scrunched up, just daring him to contradict him again. Then, he cheerfully clarifies, "Yes!"

"Someone came by yesterday and showed a lot of interest in them," she needles.

Kageyama scoffs. It's such an obvious sales tactic, but he's silenced by another warning look from Hinata.

"Well, I saw them first," Hinata says with a huff. "I hope you told them that!"

She smiles but doesn't promise anything, and instead goes to open the cage. Both birds immediately start chirping at an accelerated clip. With his pointer finger curled around his thumb to make a perch, Hinata puts out his hand and both birds hop on without any hesitation.

Hinata then leans back, moving his arm close to his chest, and looks down at the small things. They've settled down already, their chirping less erratic as they waddle up and down Hinata's forearm and occasionally stretch their wings. The yellow one uses her claws and beak to climb up Hinata's bicep and then shoulder, eventually finding a very comfortable spot in his fluffy mess of hair.

Hinata is staring down at the green one with a look Kageyama knows well. It's the same expression he has in all of their wedding photos.

Then Hinata looks up, meeting his eyes, and Kageyama panics.

"I don't—" Kageyama starts to say, but then hesitates. He means to explain he doesn't know the first thing about pets, let alone birds, but worries Hinata might think he's about to say he doesn't want them, or doesn't like them, and then Hinata will start crying for real.

Of course, this is Hinata, who knows him better than anyone. Hinata clearly senses Kageyama just feels left out of this little love triangle. He smiles warmly and uses his free hand to shape Kageyama's.

"Hold your arm out like this," he says, tugging it away from his body, "and keep your hand like that. Yah! Okay, now... just stay still!"

He steps closer, so that he and Kageyama are barely a few inches apart, and bumps their arms together perpendicularly. The green bird twitches her little head a few times, seemingly considering this new potential perch, and flaps her wings experimentally. After a minute or so, she hops over to Kageyama's hand.

Hinata is watching all of this as if he might explode at any moment. His eyes keep darting between the birds and Kageyama. He is anxious, awaiting Kageyama's judgement.

"What are their names?"

"I didn't name them," Hinata says. "They're going to be our daughters! Naming daughters is something you do together!"

"You've thought of names though," Kageyama accuses.

"No, I didn't! Unless Yellow and Green count," he huffs. The yellow bird perched on his head puffs up too, chirping and flexing her wings.

"Those names are accurate," Kageyama mutters to himself, seeming to consider this.

"We are not naming our daughters Yellow and Green!"

"Fine, we'll think of something else."

"So we're getting them?" Hinata asks, arching onto his tip-toes and pressing both palms against Kageyama's chest. The green bird chirps and ruffles her feathers but doesn't seem alarmed to be sandwiched between them. The yellow bird takes the opportunity to glide the short distance over to Kageyama's head, giving his hair a try.

"Tch."

Hinata understands this to be the yes that it is and squeals with delight.

"Okay, so, we still need to pick out their cages and toys and they're going to need food and treats and we need to find a vet—not just the first one, either—we need to really shop around for the best one, someone we trust—"

"What will we do during the regular season?"

"We'll get two smaller cages for our apartments!"

"And when we're traveling abroad?"

"Yachi or Kenma will watch them! And don't worry, he has that huge mansion, there are plenty of rooms to keep them safe from the cats!"

"What if—they don't like me?"

Hinata takes a step back. He takes a few deep breaths to try and contain some of his excitement. As he does this, the little green bird starts climbing up Kageyama's arm in an attempt to reach her friend atop his head.

"I don't think that's going to be a problem," he says instead of whatever he'd been preparing to say, laughing a little.

After they inform the employee of their decision, they traverse the store with two carts which they quickly fill. Hinata babbles on about all the research he did online beforehand, but in the end they just buy a little of everything. They have the salaries of two professional athletes with multiple sponsorships; with the exception of a taste for expensive gym equipment, the demands of their lifestyles are fairly basic. The total comes to over two hundred thousand yen and they pay it without blinking an eye. Only the best for their little girls.

The minute they arrive back home, Hinata darts for the home office. Kageyama struggles to catch up. He left most of their new purchases in the car and holds only the small travel cage, but he wants to keep it as steady as possible. The girls didn't seem to like the car ride very much and he doesn't want to further traumatize them.

"Shoyo, this wasn't all about Facebook, right?"

"No no, I wanted them!" Hinata assures, but his back is to Kageyama. He's already in the chair, hunched over the laptop and frantically entering his Facebook password. "They're so cute!"

Kageyama sighs. From the cage, the yellow bird chirps as though indigent she's being used for such a cheap purpose.

"Tobio and I are thinking about growing our family," Hinata mutters as he types. He types slowly, one letter at a time, and using only his pointer fingers. Kageyama's hand twitches. He can type so much faster.

"Expanding our team," Kageyama corrects. He sets the cage down on the edge of the desk and nudges Hinata in the side with his elbow. "Let me type. You're too slow."

They quickly readjust. Kageyama takes the seat and Hinata settles into his lap. Once they both agree on the wording of the post, they click submit. The aftermath is immediate. Both of their cell phones nearly vibrate sideways off the desk with the intensity of the texts and calls that suddenly pour in.

They watch as the comment count on Facebook climbs swiftly, mostly with congratulations and about times, though a few friends seem to doubt their parenting capabilities. Well, one friend: Tsukishima.

"From now on, every time he posts about his stupid kids, we're replying with a story about our girls," Hinata grumbles, resisting the urge to immediately reply back and start a flame war.

"We'd be better dads than him," Kageyama mutters, struggling with the same urge.

Hinata's hand starts inching toward the mouse as Tsukishima's thesis on why they'd make terrible parents grows comment after comment. Kageyama grabs it and tugs it away, locking it between his arms.

"We don't actually want kids, remember?"

"He's such an asshole, though..."

"Tch." Kageyama plants his feet flat and pushes them away from the desk, rolling the chair back. "No more Facebook today."

Hinata whines. Their phones are still vibrating, shaking the tiny computer desk and causing a ruckus. The comment count is still growing, dinging quietly in the background. Finally, Hinata is winning Facebook. Unmoved, Kageyama easily stands from the chair, lifting Hinata and tossing him over his shoulder. He carries him from the office, away from the laptop and into their bedroom, where he successfully distracts him for the next two hours.

When Hinata and Kageyama later re-enter the office, the birds are chirping up a storm. Feeling guilty, they hurry to unload everything else from the car. They recreate the pet store's setup as best they can, wanting their girls to have familiar surroundings. They set up the cage matching it to photos they took of the one at the store.

Hinata demonstrates how toilet-training works, by placing newspaper under them every five minutes or so. They make two piles, one of treats and another of toys, and begin to experiment to see which the birds will like most, though it quickly devolves into an argument over whether or not they're spoiling them. Hours pass like this, and they eventually end up snuggled together on the couch, the birds resting on their heads, and both phones flashing warnings that space is running low after way, way too many photos are taken.

"I kind of want to show them off," Hinata confesses, scrolling through the photos. "We look so damn cute."

"We still need to name them," Kageyama reminds him.

"Right," Hinata mutters. "Their names need to be amazing and cute and original."

Kageyama sighs, though he's not unfamiliar with Hinata setting incredibly high bars for everything. "Can't we just name them Set and Spike?"

"They're girls, Tobio!"

"We both like food. Let's name them after food."

"There are a lot of weird volleyball slang words in English," Hinata mutters, thinking aloud. "Like butter? And one of our birds is yellow! And we love butter on rice, hmm..."

They settle on Butter and Pancake after Hinata deems these names amazing, cute, and original, and then Kageyama confirms the vote by deeming the names both volleyball terms and foods he likes to eat.

They place Butter and Pancake in their newly-decorated cage where the two quickly snuggle up to sleep. Kageyama and Hinata watch them for a few minutes before returning to their shared laptop. Hinata sits at the desk and Kageyama stands behind him.

Hinata uploads his favorite of the dozens of photos. It's him and Kageyama together on the couch, snuggled together, with Butter and Pancake perched on their heads. Pancake is leaning down to nuzzle Butter, having to stretch because of the height difference between the two humans. Hinata uses a free website to edit the photo. He carefully mimics a birth announcement, familiar with them after the dozens they've received over the past few years.

Hinata hits submit and then immediately shuts the laptop with a snap.

"You don't want to see everyone's reactions?"

"Nah."

Kageyama smiles and takes his hand. Together they exit the room, leaving behind Facebook to focus instead on their own, real, and completely perfect lives.

A/N: Thank you for reading!

I often wonder if anyone is reading, so comments and kudos mean a lot to me. Won't you consider leaving some?

Finally, as I am actively trying to improve, honest feedback is greatly appreciated. Just please don't be cruel. Thank you!

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