Chapter Text
"Put in the hyperspace coordinates, Artoo," Master Ani said.
Artoo beeped happily and plugged into the port. It had been far too long since he'd had the opportunity to plug in hyperspace coordinates. Master Ani had spent over a year stuck on Coruscant. Artoo wasn't exactly sure of everything that had been going on, but Master Ani had been arguing with the Jedi Council a lot. All he really cared about was that Master-Ani's-sweet-sister-Ahsoka was back and a Jedi again. She and Master Ani had gone on one mission together, but Artoo hadn't been invited.
He hadn't been very happy about that.
He did acknowledge, however, that the Republic had needed him. The Senate had been in an uproar ever since Artoo had dumped his information on the Holonet. Artoo's bomb had been blamed on a rogue Separatist droid. A lot of political machinations Artoo preferred to leave to Mistress Padmé, Friend-Bail, Former-Chief-of-State-Mon Mothma, and Master-Ani's-sweet-sister-Ahsoka's-boyfriend had ensued. Of course, Master-Ani's-sweet-sister-Ahsoka claimed she had no boyfriend, but Artoo knew what a secret relationship was. He also knew it didn't need to be secret anymore after the changes the Jedi had made, but the silly sentients wouldn't listen to him.
They never did.
The Skywalker family, which included reckless-Master-Obi-Wan-Ben-Kenobi-Mistress-Leia's-only-hope and Master-Ani's-sweet-sister-Ahsoka, was finally temporarily released from their duties and were going on a much-needed vacation to Naboo. At least, that's what they thought was happening.
Artoo happily inputted the coordinates for Corellia.
STAR WARS
"What are we doing at Corellia?" Master Ani demanded.
Artoo didn't answer. How could he convince the Skywalkers they had to land? He would trust mysterious-Force-energy-field-Master-Luke's-favorite-thing that they would land in the right city, but he had to convince Master Ani to land first.
"Artoo?" Master Ani said.
Artoo plugged into the ship and scanned for faults. He discreetly broke several things in the system computer that would force them to land. Alarms filled the ship.
Master Ani said a word that wasn't appropriate for one-year-olds and began descent into the atmosphere of Corellia.
"Another one of your brilliant landings?" reckless-Master-Obi-Wan-Ben-Kenobi-Mistress-Leia's-only-hope commented tiredly.
"It's not my fault!" Master Ani protested.
Master-Ani's-sweet-sister-Ahsoka leaned on the back of Master Ani's chair. "It never is, is it, Master?"
"What's wrong?" Mistress Padmé called from the back where she was alternating between feeding the twins and throwing up.
"Nothing!" Master Ani called. "Just a little engine trouble! We're making an emergency landing on Corellia."
"Corellia?" Mistress Padmé asked. Artoo calculated the odds of her coming into the cockpit to investigate were very high indeed.
His sensors caught the sound of vomiting.
Never mind.
The landing was somewhat shaky, but they landed safely in a large city on Corellia. Artoo wasn't exactly sure which one, but he didn't much care. He was confident Crazy-Master-Han-Solo was somewhere out there.
Master Ani got into the workings of the engine. "Come on, Artoo, let's fix this thing."
[Sorry, Master Ani, I have a mission here. You will have to fix the ship on your own. I will be back soon.] Artoo rolled through the hangar Master Ani had landed in, heading for the closest door.
"Mission? What mission? Artoo? Artoo, come back!"
Artoo tuned out Master Ani's call as he entered the streets of Corellia. Now to find Crazy-Master-Han-Solo.
STAR WARS
Artoo had been traveling the city longer than he had hoped, but he believed he had just struck pay dirt, as the humans liked to say. He had been scanning the crowd for tiny pickpockets for hours while traveling through both rich and dangerous parts of the city. Several different people had tried to steal him, but he had many weapons in him, and had driven them all off. He had also had to dodge Master Ani and reckless-Master-Obi-Wan-Ben-Kenobi-Mistress-Leia's-only-hope several different times.
Crazy-Master-Han-Solo was very small and rather dirty, but Artoo recognized him. He would recognize him anywhere.
Artoo wove through the crowd to where tiny-crazy-Han-Solo was shadowing a rather rich tourist. Just as tiny-crazy-Han-Solo reached up, Artoo reached out his manipulator arm and grabbed his pants leg.
"Hey!" tiny-crazy-Han-Solo turned. "Let me go!"
Artoo doubted this tiny version of Han Solo knew Binary, as Crazy-Master-Han-Solo had never learned, but he was going to attempt to speak to him anyway. [Come with me, little one. I can lead you to your future wife.]
"I don't know you. Let me go!" Tiny-crazy-Han-Solo tried to tug his pants leg away from Artoo, but he held tight.
Artoo showed a hologram of their ship. After all, Crazy-Master-Han-Solo had always loved ships, though he'd loved his stupid-rude-piece-of-junk-Millenium-Falcon-only-I'm-allowed-to-insult-Threepio the best. Maybe seeing a cool ship would be a lure.
"What's that, your ship? I didn't steal it, I promise! I'm not the person you're looking for!"
Artoo would have sighed if he could. Crazy-Master-Han-Solo liked pilots. Maybe tiny-crazy-Han-Solo would like Master Ani. He switched his hologram to Master Ani piloting their ship.
"R2-D2, you come back here!" Master Ani yelled.
Artoo spun his dome around. Master Ani was stalking through the crowd towards him, and he looked rather angry. [Go away, I'm busy.]
"Why do you keep running away from me?"
Artoo ignored him. He turned back to tiny-crazy-Han-Solo. The boy had frozen and his mouth had dropped open.
"Is—is that Anakin Skywalker?" tiny-crazy-Han-Solo's voice was filled with awe.
[Yes, it is. You should come with us because you're going to marry his daughter.]
Master Ani came right up to Artoo. "What is wrong with you?"
"Noth…nothing, sir," tiny-crazy-Han-Solo stammered.
"What—Artoo, what are you doing? Are you trying to kidnap this poor boy? Let him go!" Master Ani said.
[No! This orphan is in need of a family. He's being forced to slave for a criminal making him pickpocket for him!] Of course, Artoo was basing most of this on guesswork and the vague clues Crazy-Master-Han-Solo had dropped about his childhood, but he would venture to guess he was pretty accurate. He also calculated the high probability of the word "slave" prompting Master Ani to intervene.
"I didn't do anything wrong! I promise!" tiny-crazy-Han-Solo pleaded. He tried to tug his pants away from Artoo's manipulator arm, but Artoo held on tight. He wouldn't let go until he was assured the boy would befriend the Skywalkers and fall in love with Mistress Leia.
Master Ani crouched down and gently grasped tiny-crazy-Han-Solo's shoulders. "It's all right. I know you didn't do anything wrong. My droid's just gone a little crazy, that's all." He glared at Artoo.
Artoo would have glared back if he could. [I am not crazy! I am on a mission to rescue this boy from a life of misery!]
"Mission? From who?"
[Myself.]
Master Ani sighed. "What is your name?"
"Han Solo, sir."
Artoo had to restrain himself not to blat in surprise. Crazy-Master-Han-Solo being respectful? Would wonders never cease? [Son of Jonash and Jaina Solo, descendant of Berethron e Solo, currently in need of a family and a loving home.] And a wife. But the boy was a bit too young for that yet. He had to meet Mistress Leia first, and the youngling had to overcome her unnerving tendency to drool, babble, and scream.
Come to think of it, that last one would probably never go away.
"Artoo, quiet. I'm sorry my droid harassed you. Can I take you back to your parents?"
Tiny Han Solo shook his head. "I don't have parents."
[No, he's an orphan! And he needs help being saved from a life of misery being controlled by an evil man that controls a criminal organization that exploits children. Jedi are meant to help people. Do your job!]
Master Ani shot him a dirty look. "Would you stay out of this?"
[Have I ever steered you wrong?]
Master Ani sighed. "All right, all right!"
[And he needs a family on Coruscant. Preferably near the Jedi Temple.]
Master Ani grumbled under his breath. Artoo's sensors caught a few words, such as "pushy little droid" and "never hear the end of this", but he turned back to tiny Han Solo. "May I escort you to your guardian?"
Tiny Han Solo shook his head. "I don't have one."
[See! I told you! He's an orphan that needs a family.]
"Are—aren't you Anakin Skywalker?" tiny Han Solo asked. "Is General Kenobi here too? Can I be your pilot? I mean, I know you're the best pilot in the galaxy, but I'm the second best! I could fly you around places, and you wouldn't have to pay me much at all! Please, I need off planet, I can't be caught! Jedi are supposed to help people, aren't they? I need help! I'm a great pilot, I promise!"
"Now, hold on, why can't you be caught?"
Tiny Han Solo shifted back and forth. "There's a man, he…" Here his voice dropped. "He raised me. He's got a gang of kids he makes be criminals. I escaped him, but my cousin's a real jerk and he kicked me out even though we're family and we're s'posed to look out for each other. I've got nowhere else to go, and Shrike's gonna catch up to me real soon! I can't go back, please, take me with you. I'll be good, I promise!"
[See! I told you! He needs help. Aren't you going to give it?]
Master Ani gently patted tiny Han Solo's shoulder. "It's all right. You can come with me. We'll… figure something out."
Good. The tiny Han Solo was going to come back with them. Artoo let go of tiny Han's pant leg. Tiny Han jumped away. "Crazy droid," he muttered.
Master Ani escorted tiny Han back to the ship. Artoo followed happily behind them. Everything was going as planned. Now he just needed to find a loving family for tiny Han that would ensure frequent contact with the Skywalkers, while preventing any of the Skywalker family from actually adopting tiny Han themselves.
He would have to contact Dad-Plo. Dad-Plo would gladly adopt tiny Han.
Reckless-Master-Obi-Wan-Ben-Kenobi-Mistress-Leia's-only-hope walked up to Master Ani at the ramp of the ship. "Who's this?"
"A local. He's in a bit of trouble, so we're going to give him the help he needs. He'll be staying with us for a while," Master Ani said.
Reckless-Master-Obi-Wan-Ben-Kenobi-Mistress-Leia's-only-hope facepalmed. "You're turning into Qui-Gon."
At that, Master Ani grinned. "I'd say that's a compliment."
"Woah! That's a real cool ship! Can I see it?" Tiny Han Solo ran aboard. "Hi, ma'am. Hey, get off of my leg."
Artoo rolled up the ramp. Beloved Master Luke was clinging to tiny Han Solo's leg, using it to keep himself standing. He squealed with laughter and turned the clinging into a hug.
Master Ani scooped up beloved Master Luke from the floor, then stepped into the other room to talk with Mistress Padmé.
Artoo rolled over to the console and plugged himself in. He fixed all the problems he had created with the ship, then pulled up a direct comm line with Dad-Plo.
"Good morning, little one. How can I help you?" Dad-Plo asked.
[There is a tiny orphan in need of adopting. He's an excellent pilot, he's lost his family, and he's trying to escape from a criminal organization run by a man named Shrike, who enslaves children and forces them to pickpocket for him. He is a human boy around age eleven, Corellian. His name is Han Solo. Are you willing to provide him with a proper home?]
"Of course I am. I'd like to meet this Han Solo. Where are you now?"
[Sending the coordinates now.] Artoo sent their current coordinates to Dad-Plo.
"I'll be right over. Tell your master to not go anywhere until I get there," Dad-Plo said.
[I will!] Artoo beeped happily. He shut down the comm line and locked down the ship. They wouldn't be going anywhere until Artoo unlocked it, and he wouldn't unlock it until Dad-Plo got here. Artoo was certain, given his calculations, that Dad-Plo would immediately decide to adopt tiny-Han as soon as he saw him. After all, the Jedi High Council had had to put a limit on the number of young clones who'd recently gone through the genetic fix Master Ani and Mistress Padmé had insisted upon that Dad-Plo was allowed to adopt, especially since Dad-Plo had also adopted his entire battalion.
His job was almost done.
Now he just had to wait for beloved-master's-wife-Mara to be born.