Teddy sat down at her computer and opened her email. She had seen the email pop up on her phone earlier that afternoon but now it was time to face the music and read it. She recognized the name or at least she thought she did. Annie McKellar, the baby girl she had given up 19 years earlier. She had been in touch with the girl's adopted mom since Annie was a baby, Leslie had sent Teddy a letter or an email once a month without fail detailing how her little girl was growing and changing. Annie had turned 19 the week before and it seemed that Leslie and Dan had followed through on their promise and given Annie Teddy's email. The last email Teddy had received was from Leslie and Dan a week earlier on Annie's 19th birthday. She knew that the girl was a ballet and highland dancer, had graduated the top of her class and was enrolled at the University of British Columbia. Annie was planning on studying sciences with the hope of going to Med school. Pouring herself a glass of wine Teddy clicked on the email.
"Dear Dr. Altman,
My name is Annie McKellar. My parents are Leslie and Dan McKellar, 19 years ago my parents adopted me, in Texas. My parents told me that you were very young and in medical school when I was born. My parents still live in the house I grew up in, in Cloverdale, BC. I'm in my second year at UBC studying Kinesiology, geography and other prerequisites for medical school, my hope is that one day I can go to medical school and be a pediatrician. I'm really not sure what to tell you about myself or how much you want to know about me. My mom told me that it was my choice if and when I contacted you and how much I want you in my life. Part of me has always wanted to meet you to know where not just my physical features come from but the personality things and gestures that don't match anyone else I know. I know there's the nature vs nurture debate but I think some of those things may be from you.
I guess I should tell you a little about myself but I don't know where to start or what to tell you. I grew up in Cloverdale BC about an hour outside of Vancouver with lots of aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents close by. I am the oldest with two younger siblings. My brother Chris is 11 months younger and Jessica my sister is 3 years younger. Chris and I have done everything together, even being in most of the same classes at school. Chris chose to follow in our grandpa's footsteps and go into the military when we graduated high school. Jessica is in grade 10 this year and goes to the same school dad is principal at. My mom teaches grade four at a local christian school, the same one we all went to when we were little, luckily I wasn't in mom's class for grade four. I only half liked high school. I've always been a dancer mainly ballet and highland. I've even been to Canadian's and worlds a couple times with Highland. Last winter I also got to dance in the Ceremonies for the Vancouver Olympics, it was one of the most amazing things I've done, the stadium was full of people and millions more were watching world wide. We usually spent our summers camping and fishing. We also skied once a week growing up. My favourite places to be are on the mountain or the boat with the wind in my face. I love the feeling of flight that comes from gliding down a mountain or bouncing off a wave. One of my favourite trips was when Dad, Chris and I went with Uncle Dillon and Cassie to kayak the Bowron lakes. We did the whole 160km circuit in 5 days and we had an amazing adventure.
Right now I'm living on campus at UBC in a small suite with 5 other girls, all good friends of mine. Their like another set of sisters because we all lived together last year. Our suite is one of the newer ones at UBC, we each have our own bedrooms and share a kitchen, living room and two bathrooms. I like the independence of living on my own but also having mom and dad just over an hour away. The UBC campus is beautiful with forests and beaches and beautiful views of the mountains, I can even seen the mountains from my bedroom window. I know you'll ask if I have a boyfriend, right now I'm choosing not to date so I can focus on school.
I also would like to know a little about you. My parents said they don't know much about you and I am really hoping that you don't mind taking the time to answer some or all of them one day. I'm not going to ask today, I've had years to think of what I want to ask you and have spent every day since my birthday trying to find the words to email you instead of writing my geomorphology paper. I am only going to ask two questions today, what can I call you and one day could we meet over skype?
Your daughter,
Annie"
Reading the email all Teddy wanted to do was to hug her little bear as she had always thought of her daughter. The girl seemed positive and energetic from her email. At the same time Teddy wanted to cry, all of the things she had missed in Annie's life. She also thought of her parents, two of the only three people she had ever talked to about her hopes for Annie. She didn't know if she should call Owen, her best friend the only living person in her life who knew about her daughter. But there was Christina, the best student she had ever had to think about if she called Owen and told him. The things that Annie wrote about herself made Teddy proud and thankful, her little bear had grown up with a family that loved her and gave her opportunities to try things , push her skills and become more confident. She wanted to get to know the girl and see her for herself, one day when Annie was ready Teddy wanted to meet her for dinner and give the girl a hug, hear her voice and see her smile.
Teddy finished the bottle of wine, leaving the empty bottle beside her laptop on the table she walked into her bedroom and curled up. She was alone, completely alone. Her best friend the person she wanted to be with had chosen another woman, a younger woman, the best resident Teddy had ever seen. Three hours away her little girl was in a dorm room laughing with roommates, maybe sneaking shots or a few wine coolers in their dorm.
Teddy reached for her cellphone on the nightstand beside her bed. She scrolled through her contacts until she got to O and tapped on Owen's number. She didn't care that it was already nearly one in the morning. He was her best friend her person Owen would answer.
"Hello," Owen answered his phone.
"Owen, she emailed me, my little girl emailed me and she wants to get to know me," Teddy sobbed into the phone.
Owen answered, " Teddy, Teddy slow down. Who called you?"
Teddy continued to cry, " My daughter Owen, your the only living person I ever told about Annie. She emailed me for the first time today. She's 19 now and her parents gave her my email. I was in Med school when I got pregnant and her sperm donor wanted nothing to do with her and I so I did what I thought was best for her. I gave Annie up for adoption at birth. I had 5 minutes with her to give her a cuddle and kiss her tiny little head. Then I put her in her mom's arms. Every month for the last 19 years Leslie and Dan, her parents have written to me even when I was in the middle of the desert. But today Annie wrote to me. I've always wanted to hear from her and to see her one more time, to give her a hug and tell her I've thought about her every day for 20 years."
Owen paused, " What are you going to do?"
Teddy replied, " I want to write her back but I don't know what to say. What if she hates me?"
Owen reassured her, " she wrote to you, she wants to get to know you."
Teddy smiled, " I guess but she doesn't know me, she has a fantasy mom some one she's made up to take my place."
"Teddy, I have to go Christina just walked in, why don't you and I have lunch tomorrow in my office and we can talk about this," Owen said.
"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow Owen and tell Christina that I still expect her for rounds at 7 so she better not stay up all night talking to Grey," Teddy replied.