Thank You, Heavenly

Theme Song: "Let It Roll" by Divide the Day

SEASON 8

EPISODE 24

Airdate: July 12, 2020

"Heavenly Life" (Series Finale)

Special Guest Stars: Kira Kosarin as Lynne

#TYH824

SCENE 1

Ike's Ice Cream Emporium

Interior Booth

Seattle, Washington

The day after graduation, Sparky, Buster, RK, and Jaylynn are eating ice cream together.

RK: So, last night, I was on Disney+, right? Making my rounds and whatnot. So, I'm about to watch The Simpsons and you'll never guess what I found out.

JAYLYNN: That you talk way too much about television?

RK: "That you talk way too much about the televele...gehele." No. I found out that in season nine, they have "Lisa the Simpson" listed as episode three.

SPARKY: And? What's the problem?

RK: The problem? Everybody knows that "Lisa's Sax" is the third episode of season nine, not "Lisa the Simpson." Now, in production order, "Lisa the Simpson" was the last episode made for season eight, it was just held back. But, still, if you want to have a...Simpsons marathon and you see that, it's going to be inaccurate.

JAYLYNN: You're still gonna be like this in junior high, aren't you? I just want a warning beforehand.

RK: It could be worse. I could go on and on about the fights I had in a city I don't live in anymore.

JAYLYNN: Hey, everybody loves those Portland stories!

RK: Yeah, the first time they hear them. You're just like those old guys who sit by the corner store drinking malt liquor with crooked teeth talking about when they used to be big time, but they smell like expired Newports and haven't changed their jeans in twenty years. Stop it.

At that point, Wade walks up to the guys.

WADE: Hey guys. You know, now that we're graduates, the energy feels different. Like we're cooler, more mature, more interesting to be around.

BUSTER: We weren't interesting before?

WADE: How did you take that as...anyway, Buster, you know how you always complain about the presents I get you?

BUSTER: Yup, lots of wasted birthdays and Christmases, my man.

WADE: Well, I think that perception will be destroyed once you open my graduation present. I forgot to give it to you yesterday.

Wade gives Buster his wrapped graduation present.

BUSTER: This better not be one of those old educational tapes that teach you Spanish. I already have Dora the Explorer for that.

JAYLYNN: What about me?

BUSTER: I think if we're going to stay friends, you should never try teaching me anything.

Buster unwraps the present and his eyes widen when he sees it.

BUSTER: Sweet Jesus, I don't believe it. It's...it's...

WADE: That's right. Wings: The Complete Series on DVD.

BUSTER: I can't believe this. Wade, you got me all eight seasons. Even the first one that only had six episodes for some reason.

JAYLYNN: I don't get it. What's the big deal about Wings? Is that a TV show about fried chicken?

BUSTER: No, but it is one of the greatest TV shows known to mankind. I used to watch it all the time with my mom. Now, it's in my hands. All of it...is in my hands.

WADE: And the best part is, Tim Daly and Steven Weber can entertain you whenever you want for years to come.

BUSTER: Thank you so much, Wade. Not even my dad ever bought me anything this cool. Can...can I call you my dad?

WADE: I would prefer if you didn't.

BUSTER: Yeah, you're right, that sounds kinda weird. I'll just call you Pops.

WADE: Please don't.

SCENE 2

The Hernandez Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

That night, Jaylynn is watching TV when Anja walks in.

JAYLYNN: Hey Anja.

ANJA: What's up, Jaylynn? I just came by to talk about something.

JAYLYNN: Oh no, this doesn't sound good. Is it about Lynne? Is it about that mole on your neck? Will they be able to remove the cancer?!

ANJA: I swear, you should be an actress when you grow up. But I wanted to talk about me going back to Palestine. I think it's that time where...

JAYLYNN: No, no, save it. I know where you're going with this. The time's come and I need to be mature.

ANJA: What are you talking about?

JAYLYNN: I mean, you and Lynne are good people. Nice girls. And we've been through a lot together. You're my best friend, you were the first girl I ever fell in love with.

ANJA: Uh, Jaylynn...

JAYLYNN: And you taught me things, I taught you things. You taught me what it means to really care about someone, and I taught you how to dance since you didn't have any rhythm for a long time.

ANJA: Will you shut up and let me finish? I'm not moving back to Palestine. At least not until Lynne graduates, and looking at her grades, it might take longer than I thought.

LYNNE (V.O.): Hey, you don't have to take shots at me unnecessarily!

ANJA: Lynne, I told you to stay outside until I was done.

LYNNE (V.O.): I am, but I still have the right to defend myself.

JAYLYNN: How come you don't want her inside?

ANJA: She'll distract me too easily.

JAYLYNN: Okay, so, if you're not moving back, then what's that time?

ANJA: It's that time for us to vacation together. Lynne and I are going to Palestine for the summer and we want you to come.

JAYLYNN: Really? You want to take me home with you?

ANJA: Of course, it'll be great. I always wanted you to come, but that was when Lynne hated you. Now that you two are cool, it'll be no problem.

LYNNE (V.O.): Yeah, you're down with us now, Jaylynn.

JAYLYNN: I can't believe it, this is awesomesauce! Wait, what are your parents gonna think when they see me? I mean, I have red hair, I like girls. I might get a tattoo for my 13th birthday.

ANJA: They already know about you. I've told them plenty of stories.

JAYLYNN: How come none of that sounds good?

ANJA: Relax, they're all great stories. I made sure to protect your image.

JAYLYNN: I don't know, Anj. I mean, this is like a dream come true, but I don't want to embarrass you and Lynne in front of your folks.

ANJA: Jaylynn, there are people in my family that don't eat halal food, smoke cigarettes, and gamble away thousands of dollars every year. You'll look like Mother Teresa next to them.

JAYLYNN: You know what? I trust you. I can't wait to go to Palestine.

ANJA: And you know you're wrong about me being a bad dancer. I had moves way before we met, check this out.

Anja performs an uncoordinated, off-kilter dance involving the flailing of her arms, then proceeds to start doing the dance where one covers their nose and mouth to pretend they're going underwater.

ANJA: Eh?

JAYLYNN: You look like a scarecrow with prosthetic limbs.

LYNNE (V.O.): Ooh, I felt that shit from out here!

ANJA: I was wrong, I shoulda just left her at her apartment.

SCENE 3

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Hallway

Seattle, Washington

A few days later, RK has a smug look on his face as Ashley signs his yearbook.

ASHLEY: Okay, I'm done.

RK: Really? That fast?

ASHLEY: Yeah, I write fast. Is that a problem?

Ashley gives RK back his yearbook.

RK: Well, no, it's just that...considering the friendship we've had over the years, I would assume that...wow. Forget what I said, this is amazing.

ASHLEY: Really?

RK: Yeah, it hits the spot. "One day, you're going to use that weird brain of yours for something really special." I'm touched. Deeply moved.

ASHLEY: I'm glad you like it. You want to sign mine?

RK: Yours? Ashley, Ashley, Ashley. The complex art of yearbook signing is something very personal and revealing for me. I can't just condense my thoughts and feelings so rapidly.

ASHLEY: Okay. Let me know when you're ready.

RK: You bet.

As Wade walks up to RK and Ashley leaves, RK groans.

WADE: Fine, be like that. I don't want you around me either.

RK: Not you, Wade, it's Ashley. Matter of fact, it's everybody. I just...I just can't do it.

WADE: Could you help me out a little bit?

RK: Ashley has been hounding me to sign her yearbook and I can't do it right now. I have to think about what I'm gonna write, get rid of the fluffy language, and then rewrite it to the bone. I just want the raw. The pure, unfiltered emotions that take lots of editing to produce. You know what I mean?

WADE: For the first time ever, I do. Just write it when you're ready, Ashley won't care.

RK: Yeah, but if I wait too long, she'll be crushed. She's probably leaving an extra special spot for me in that yearbook.

Buster walks up to RK and Wade.

BUSTER: Hey guys. I just finished signing Ashley's yearbook. Damn, that girl is cleaning up.

RK: Really? There's no extra special spot for any signatures in there?

BUSTER: Don't think I saw that there, no.

RK: Hmmm. She must be hiding it.

BUSTER: You know, guys, I was thinking. This is the last week that we're all going to the same school.

WADE: That's not true. What if I don't get into FDA VIII?

BUSTER: Then my name's not really Buster. It's probably something really dorky like Clint, or, or...or Jackie. Anyway, I was thinking that once school's over, the five of us can take a trip together.

RK: What kind of trip?

BUSTER: A trip around the country. We can rent an RV, visit all the major cities on the map, sing songs, have wrestling matches.

RK: Wait. So I can give Jaylynn an RKO on the road?!

BUSTER: As long as you're doing it in an actual match and not just because you're a psycho.

RK: Well, Buster, you can sign me up. Yes, I have summer plans now!

WADE: If it's all five of us going, shouldn't all five of us want to go?

BUSTER: I'm sorry, Wade, I just wanted all of us to do something fun.

WADE: Oh no, I'm definitely going. But you should probably consult Sparky and Jaylynn first.

RK: He has a point. We can't go RV shopping yet. Wait a minute. Speaking of RVs, I know a guy.

BUSTER: He sells RVs?

RK: No, he's just a random guy. But he knows someone who sells RVs. If Sparky and Jaylynn say yes, we can get down to the dealership and rent an RV at a reasonable price.

BUSTER: Wow, this is so exciting. Wait, weren't we supposed to do something before we rent an RV?

WADE: Yeah, I just said you should...

BUSTER: Nevermind, I remember now.

SCENE 4

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Lunchroom

Seattle, Washington

The kids are shown eating at lunch later on.

BUSTER: So, I was thinking that this summer, we all travel the country together in an RV.

SPARKY: An RV? Aren't those things really harmful to the environment?

RK: No, you're thinking of SUVs. RVs are way more environmentally-friendly...

SPARKY: How so?

RK: ...By comparison, they're more environmentally-friendly by comparison. See, you have to let me finish my thought, oy vey.

JAYLYNN: So, all summer, huh?

BUSTER: Yup. What do you think?

SPARKY: Well, I'm down. But only if we go to Denver.

BUSTER: Of course, we're going to Denver.

SPARKY: Yes!

WADE: I don't know why you're so obsessed with Denver.

SPARKY: It's on my bucket list, I can't explain it.

JAYLYNN: Will you excuse me a minute?

Jaylynn leaves the table and goes over to a table where Halley's sitting.

JAYLYNN: Halley?

HALLEY: Oh, f***.

JAYLYNN: Come on.

Halley groans as she follows Jaylynn outside to the playground.

HALLEY: Okay, what stupid thing did you do this time?

JAYLYNN: How do you know I did something stupid?

HALLEY: Because you never just want to talk to me anymore. It's always because you screwed up and for some reason, you can't figure out the solution on your own so you come to me.

JAYLYNN: And that's something I'm really going to miss in September.

HALLEY: So, what is it?

JAYLYNN: Anja invited me to go to Palestine with her and Lynne this summer.

HALLEY: Really? That's huge, it's almost like you're part of the family.

JAYLYNN: I know. But Buster had this idea for all of us to go see the country in an RV.

HALLEY: Oh. That's it? Where's the stupid part?

JAYLYNN: I want to go to Palestine, but I didn't tell the guys that.

HALLEY: There it is. Jaylynn, you have to be honest with your boys. Just let them know nicely that you're not coming.

JAYLYNN: I can't. This is our last summer together before middle school. Who knows how many trips we'll get to take after that?

HALLEY: Yeah, but who knows if Anja will invite you to her birthplace again? She's really quiet about a lot of things, this is once in a lifetime shit.

JAYLYNN: You're right. Besides, I already told Anja yes, I can't just bail on her like that.

HALLEY: Then you know what you have to do.

JAYLYNN: I know. But when I go to Palestine, could you do something for me?

HALLEY: Sure, what?

JAYLYNN: I want you to take my place. If I can't go, someone else should keep the guys company.

HALLEY: Of course, I'd love to. So, what's the trip about?

JAYLYNN: You're going to travel the country. What else do you need to know?

HALLEY: I feel like you're missing some pieces.

JAYLYNN: Look, if you want more info than I can give, that makes it a you problem.

SCENE 5

McGowan Rental Agency

Seattle, Washington

After school, RK and Buster walk into the RV agency and see several different RVs on the lot.

BUSTER: Wow. I've never seen so many of these in one place.

RK: Yup, this is the largest RV agency in Washington state. And according to my man who gave me the address, the people here won't rest until they get you a deal.

BUSTER: Hey, look, an employee.

RK: Great. Let's get the RV of our dreams.

Buster and RK walk up to the employee.

RK: Afternoon, sir. We're looking for the best RV you've got. You think you can help us out?

At that point, the employee turns around, revealing himself to be RK's old therapist Dr. Osborne.

DR. OSBORNE: I think I...wait, you again?!

RK: Osborne, you son of a bitch, you work here?!

BUSTER: RK, who's this? I feel like I should remember him, but I don't.

RK: That's Dr. Osborne, my old therapist. The same asshole who misdiagnosed me with Asperger's Syndrome.

DR. OSBORNE: And thanks to you, they threw me in jail for child porn!

RK: I had nothing to do with that. You're just some gross little tramp, they would have caught you anyway.

BUSTER: Oh, now I remember you. You should've peeped the pamphlet, man.

DR. OSBORNE: You know what? I'm not going to go at it with you stupid kids. Thanks to the prison work release program, I found this job. I'm finally working in a place where I can make a difference.

RK: Well, you were a shitty therapist, I guess being a shitty RV agent isn't much of a step down for you.

DR. OSBORNE: Look, what kind of recreational vehicle are you interested in?

RK: No. No, no, don't do that. Don't say the whole thing like that's some insider term, say "RV" like a human being.

DR. OSBORNE: Fine. What kind of...RV...are you interested in?

BUSTER: We're looking for something reliable, sturdy, and affordable. We're taking three of our friends with us around the country this summer.

DR. OSBORNE: Hmmm, well, we do have some of those in the market. Before I show you anything, you guys do have RV licenses, right? This isn't a trick?

RK: Stop asking stupid questions and show us the rides.

DR. OSBORNE: Sure.

RK: *whispering to Buster* Hey, man, remind me to renew my RV license before the trip.

Buster gives RK a bored look. They walk over to a silver-and-black RV that Dr. Osborne is standing in front of.

DR. OSBORNE: Alright, this here is the Silver Falcon. It's real popular with the college crowd. Guaranteed to last you a couple months on the road.

BUSTER: Hmmm, it's pretty good. Can we check to see inside?

DR. OSBORNE: Of course.

RK and Buster go inside, and Dr. Osborne tries to go inside with them.

RK: Hey, hey, Osborne, this is a two-man job. Park it outside.

Dr. Osborne groans and mumbles to himself as he waits outside.

BUSTER: This is beautiful, man. Check it out. Couches, a bathroom, a fridge, a sink.

RK: Buster, you're naming things an RV is supposed to have. There's nothing special about that shit. That's like Denny's having the Grand Slam breakfast, it's expected.

BUSTER: Is it me, or are you less excited about being here than before?

RK: It's Osborne, kid. He makes my skin crawl. And I bet you he's gearing up to swindle us.

BUSTER: Why would he do that?

RK: Because he wants revenge. And we're two fifth grade boys who he thinks are just gonna roll over for him. No way. He's trying to con a con man.

BUSTER: So, what do we do? We have to rent the best RV we can with our money.

RK: We're going to beat Osborne at his own game. Tell him we're exploring other options. Make him work for our satisfaction, drive him insane. And when it's all said and done, we'll have the sweet RV and he'll go back inside.

BUSTER: Why would he go back to jail?

RK: Because he might have a mental breakdown. That dude's f***ed in the head, I'm just preparing you for the worst.

SCENE 6

The Saltalamacchia Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

Later that day, Wade is watching TV with Adriana.

WADE: So, what are your plans for the summer?

ADRIANA: Nothing, really. Anna and I are just gonna sit around, eat junk food, maybe do a little double dutch at the park.

WADE: You mean, jump rope?

ADRIANA: You're not saying it right, it's double dutch. Jump rope sounds like something little girls do.

WADE: I didn't know you guys played double dutch.

ADRIANA: Oh yeah, we love it. It's great exercise. The one thing I'm afraid of is getting fat when I'm older.

WADE: So, eating junk food helps you accomplish that goal?

ADRIANA: Hey, I also do double dutch to burn off the food so it cancels out.

WADE: I don't know if it does.

ADRIANA: It does!

At that point, some mail is tossed through a slot near the bottom of Wade's door.

WADE: Hey, I got some letters. I wonder who they're from.

Wade runs over to the mail and looks through them.

WADE: Okay, homeowners, magazine...wait, this is RK's subscription. Why do they keep sending me this? Oh my God.

ADRIANA: What?

WADE: Adriana, do you not know what this is?

ADRIANA: A letter? Because you haven't told me anything else?

WADE: It's a letter from Frederick Douglass Academy VIII!

ADRIANA: Holy shit! You think you got accepted?

WADE: Probably. From what I hear, they always send acceptance letters in burgundy.

ADRIANA: That's burgundy? It looks more like maroon.

WADE: It could be. You know, it could also be crimson if you look harder, but enough about color schemes. Time for my future.

Wade opens the letter and begins reading it.

WADE: "Dear Wade, we had many applications come in this year for our school. We regret to inform you that..." I can't read this anymore.

Wade tosses the letter on the floor.

ADRIANA: Are you sure you don't want to?

WADE: Why bother? I'm a junior high reject. This sets a bad precedent, anyway. I mean, if I can't make it to this school, imagine me making it to Stanford in seven years.

ADRIANA: I really think you should keep reading it. Get that closure.

WADE: Fine. But I'm only doing this for you because you're pretty.

Adriana smiles as Wade picks the letter back up.

WADE: "Dear Wade, blah blah blah. We regret to inform you that we should have informed you sooner that you have been officially accepted into Frederick Douglass Academy VIII?!" I'm in? I'M IN!

Wade spikes the letter onto the floor like a football, screams, and kisses Adriana.

ADRIANA: I'm so proud of you. You deserve this.

WADE: Thank you. I've been dreaming of this day ever since I found out about the school. Now, it's here. I wonder what else it says.

Wade continues reading, but his excitement quickly goes away.

WADE: Wait, what?

ADRIANA: What is it?

WADE: This summer, the school's having their annual orientation retreat and they're inviting me to it.

ADRIANA: I thought that would be great news.

WADE: I thought so, too.

Beat.

ADRIANA: So, you're not gonna throw the letter down? Because it was really exciting the first time.

SCENE 7

The Saltalamacchia Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

WADE: I don't know what to do. I can't go on this retreat.

ADRIANA: Why not?

WADE: Well, it's right there in the middle of the RV trip. Those guys need me. Especially Buster, you know he has trouble with landmarks.

Cut to a flashback of the guys' senior trip in Washington, D.C. Wade and Buster are walking near the Washington Monument.

BUSTER: I can't believe it. The Pentagon.

WADE: Buster, that's the Washington Monument.

BUSTER: Oh. So what does the Pentagon look like?

WADE: It doesn't matter because we're not in Virginia.

BUSTER: Oh.

WADE: Yeah.

Cut back to the present day.

ADRIANA: Come on, Wade, I know that's not true. What's the real problem?

WADE: I guess I'm...I'm, I'm kinda scared to go.

ADRIANA: Really, why?

WADE: Think about it. This is the first trip I'm taking without my friends. For years, everything I've done, everything I've been through, they were always there. Now, they won't be. And then junior high comes and I won't see them every day. I don't know if I'm ready for all this.

ADRIANA: I know what you mean. Anna and I have been talking about it too. We don't know how things are going to turn out in middle school.

WADE: But you guys are going to the same school.

ADRIANA: Yeah, but all of our friends aren't. They're going to different schools, but Anna and I are ready to deal with it. And you've been preparing too much to not be ready for this.

WADE: I mean, it's an optional retreat so I don't have to go.

Adriana gives Wade an annoyed look.

WADE: Hey, if I want to put off my future for a while, I can!

SCENE 8

Space Needle Diner

Seattle, Washington

("Good Man" by Raphael Saadiq plays over the diner's loudspeakers)

That night, Jaylynn is looking at a menu when Wade walks in. He notices Jaylynn and walks up to her.

WADE: Jaylynn?

JAYLYNN: Wade? What are you doing here?

WADE: I just came here to think. I don't really eat the food like that.

JAYLYNN: That sucks. But if that's true, could you order something and I'll eat it for you?

WADE: Nice try.

JAYLYNN: Worth a shot. So, what are you thinking about?

Wade sighs.

WADE: Okay, you're the first person to know about this. After Adriana, but she was already at my house.

JAYLYNN: You got into FDA?

WADE: How did you know?

JAYLYNN: What else could it have been? It was a lot of buildup for nothing. But congratulations, bro, you did it!

WADE: Yeah, I did. But now, they're inviting me to an orientation retreat and I don't know if I want to go.

JAYLYNN: Because you're too scared to go?

WADE: Yeah. How did you know that?

JAYLYNN: I don't know, I'm just on fire today. But this is great for us.

WADE: How is it great for us? They're not letting you come to the retreat.

JAYLYNN: Because Anja invited me to go to Palestine with her and Lynne this summer!

WADE: Really? That's huge.

JAYLYNN: I know. And I didn't tell you guys because I didn't know what to do, but since you have this trip, I can have mine!

WADE: Wait, what? You're not going to use me as a way to go on your trip. How dare you?

JAYLYNN: I have to. It helps keep me from having that awkward conversation where I'm all, "Yeah, I don't want to bail on you guys, but I gotta do what I gotta do." You don't know what that conversation feels like.

WADE: I have a girlfriend. I am that conversation.

JAYLYNN: Look, Wade, I know you don't want to evolve in any way, but I have to. Nothing's going to stop me from flying to Palestine.

WADE: So, what? You're going to try and get the RV trip cancelled?

JAYLYNN: I might as well. Then, my summer will be 100% free.

WADE: Well, I'm not letting you win this.

JAYLYNN: I think you are. This is what years of doing Jaylynn stuff has led to.

WADE: What does this have to do with Jaylynn stuff?!

JAYLYNN: If you don't know, I can't help you.

Jaylynn gets up from the booth and leaves the diner. Beat.

WADE: Wait, I thought she was going to order something!

SCENE 9

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Hallway

Seattle, Washington

The next day, Buster is cleaning up his locker when he sees a pack of Little Debbie's "Donut Sticks."

BUSTER: Whoa. I can't believe it's still here!

WADE: What's still there?

BUSTER: My Donut Sticks. You remember that one day it rained?

WADE: Yeah, I remember a lot of days where it rained.

BUSTER: Well, on this day, I brought some Donut Sticks to snack on, and I couldn't find them. I thought they were in my locker, but they weren't around. I knew I never lost them.

SPARKY: Don't tell me you're actually going to eat that.

BUSTER: Sparky, please. These things are at least six months old. Of course, I'm going to eat them.

RK walks up to the guys.

RK: Okay, I'm good for now.

WADE: What are you talking about?

RK: I had to duck Ashley. I know she still wants me to sign her yearbook, but it's too much pressure. I've already done three rewrites on the first paragraph alone.

JAYLYNN: Dude, I don't think Ashley cares. Just write "Have a great summer" and keep it moving.

RK: Look, I know Jaylynns are very basic with...

JAYLYNN: If you refer to me as a Jaylynn one more time, I'm stabbing you in the ear with a pencil.

RK: Man, what's got you all riled up?

WADE: Don't worry about it, RK, it's nothing. Maybe she's hiding something important and the guilt is eating her alive, so it's manifested in stressful moments such as this.

JAYLYNN: And maybe some people need to stop psychoanalyzing everything and start living the life they always talked about.

SPARKY: Okay, it seems like we all have things going on. What's the latest news on the RV?

BUSTER: We're going back to the agency today. We're gonna break down Dr. Osborne until he gives us a deal we can work with.

RK: And if not, there are other places we can go to.

JAYLYNN: I think you guys need someone else there. You know, someone who can keep the RV guys on their toes so you can get that deal.

WADE: Jaylynn, the last thing these two need is a third party. They have it under control.

RK: Actually, Wade, it wouldn't be the worst idea to have an extra influence. Okay, Jaylynn, you can come with us. You can be our muscle.

JAYLYNN: Cool, so I can kick people's asses if they don't comply with our demands?

RK: One hundred percent. But you can't attack anyone until I give the green light.

BUSTER: What about me? I thought we were partners in this.

RK: That's true. In that case, redhead, you're allowed to attack anyone as long as me or Buster give the green light.

JAYLYNN: Sick. Alright, I'll see you guys later.

Jaylynn walks away from the guys but Wade leaves as well and catches up to her.

WADE: Jaylynn...what are you up to?

JAYLYNN: Nothing you need to know.

WADE: You're scheming, aren't you? You're not trying to help RK and Buster. You're trying to sabotage the trip.

JAYLYNN: Look, I won't say much, but if I just so happen to cause a scene at the agency, and we somehow get banned so the trip magically gets cancelled, where's the harm in that?

WADE: Just because you use certain phrases and hand gestures, doesn't mean you're hiding what you plan to do.

JAYLYNN: Wait, really? You got all that?

WADE: Yes!

JAYLYNN: Damn, I used to be way better at this. Oh well, nothing you can do about it.

Jaylynn laughs as she walks away from Wade.

WADE: Maybe there is.

JAYLYNN (O.S.): No, there isn't!

Wade groans and walks away.

SCENE 10

McGowan Rental Agency

Seattle, Washington

Later that day, Buster, RK, and Jaylynn walk into the agency.

RK: Okay, time for take two.

JAYLYNN: You guys sure you want to rent an RV from here? I mean, it has a weird smell and everything.

BUSTER: I think you're right. It does smell weird out here. RK, what do you think it is?

RK: The RVs? Because vehicles tend to give off a certain smell?

BUSTER: You might be correct. However...

RK: Alright, let's get this going. Yo, Osborne, we need an RV real quick. Something that promotes fun times and merriment, you feel me?

DR. OSBORNE: I don't know half of what you just said, but I don't have time to sell an RV to someone who doesn't want it.

JAYLYNN: Hey, don't talk to my friend like that. He came here for an RV and that's what he's gonna get.

DR. OSBORNE: Oh, great, you brought more friends. How about you guys check out the Silver Falcon again?

BUSTER: Nah, that doesn't work for us.

RK: Yeah, Osborne, keep it moving.

The kids and Dr. Osborne walk up to a teal-and-forest green RV.

DR. OSBORNE: Okay, well, how about this little number? The HydroMax 3000. It's state of the art material, perfectly designed to avoid water hazards or anything aquatic.

JAYLYNN: Are you kidding me? Do we live in water? Are we in Venice, Italy? Why we would need that crap?

BUSTER: Whoa, Jaylynn, ease up a little.

JAYLYNN: No, this clown's trying to take you guys for a ride and I'm not having it. Listen, Os...could I call you Os?

DR. OSBORNE: It doesn't matter what I say, you're going to call me that anyway.

JAYLYNN: Alright, Os, here it is. I come from a city full of hustlers, scammers, and con artists. Everywhere you look, there was someone trying to take advantage of the next guy. Sometimes, I was the one trying to take advantage. So, I would rather travel the country in some smelly, low-rent Greyhound buses than this stupid RV.

DR. OSBORNE: Why should I listen to some ten-year-old talk about experiences she's never even had?

JAYLYNN: I'm eleven, you dick, and what are you insinuating?

DR. OSBORNE: That people like you have an inferiority complex. You have to make yourselves seem like the toughest person in the room so you can mask your insecurities and emotional turmoil. You're broken, you're wounded. And you take it out on me.

JAYLYNN: You're an old drunk who loves child porn, what do you know about anything?

DR. OSBORNE: I WAS FRAMED, DAMMIT! Amd you have a lot of nerve disrespecting me like that, you little puke. Didn't your parents teach you anything about manners?

Jaylynn screams and lunges at Dr. Osborne, then begins punching him repeatedly as Buster and RK try to separate the two.

RK: Jaylynn, this is not a green light situation!

JAYLYNN: Como el infierno, it's not a green light situation!

Other employees try to stop the fight between Jaylynn and Dr. Osborne as a little boy and his mother witness everything from the entrance of the agency.

BILLY: Mommy, look! That redheaded girl is beating up that old man!

MOM: That's exactly why it's wrong to do drugs, Billy. It leads to poor lifestyle choices, Billy.

SCENE 11

The MacDougal Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

The guys are on the couch later that day.

RK: So because of what Jaylynn did, we're all banned from the agency.

SPARKY: I can't believe this. How are we supposed to rent an RV now?

RK: We'll just have to find another agency, but that was the best one in the state. Anybody who's anybody gets their RVs from there.

BUSTER: Did you talk to your man about it? Maybe he can recommend another agency.

RK: I tried, but when I told him what happened, he cursed me out and called all of us crack babies. Jaylynn, what the hell were you thinking?!

JAYLYNN: Hey, he provoked me. And I saved you guys from getting something you didn't really want.

SPARKY: Maybe we should just put the trip on ice. You know, until we figure out something else.

BUSTER: Yeah, maybe. But I really wanted to go to Minnesota or Wisconsin. You know they have grade-A ice cream there.

WADE: That's it, I can't take this anymore! Jaylynn, how dare you ruin the trip for your own selfish needs?

SPARKY: What's going on here?

WADE: I guess Jaylynn never told you that the reason she jumped Dr. Osborne is so she could get the trip cancelled. That way, she could go to Palestine with Anja and Lynne guilt-free.

JAYLYNN: You bitch.

RK: Jaylynn, how could you do something like that?

JAYLYNN: You automatically believe him?!

RK: It's Wade, of course I do! Besides, that story sounds so ridiculous and convoluted, it has to be true!

JAYLYNN: Alright, you got me. Okay? I intentionally sabotaged the trip.

SPARKY: Jaylynn, don't you know how important this is? We might not get a chance to do this again for a long time.

JAYLYNN: Look, when Buster told us about the trip, I felt bad. I wanted to go to Palestine, but I didn't want to feel like I was bailing on you guys. So, I thought that if there was no trip, I wouldn't have to worry.

BUSTER: See, that's what happens when you keep secrets. Good thing I don't have that problem.

JAYLYNN: What about the fact that you dye your hair?

BUSTER: You know?!

JAYLYNN: I've known for years, you can't get a dye job past me. But to be honest, we've all known.

SPARKY: Jaylynn, if you want to go to Palestine, it's okay. That's a once in a lifetime experience. But you didn't have to go through all this just to keep us from being hurt. We'll survive the summer without you.

JAYLYNN: Are you sure?

RK: Yes, we're sure! Of all the plans you could have come up with, this is the one you chose?!

JAYLYNN: Okay, I'm stupid, we know that already. I'm sorry for screwing you guys over. If Wade just told you about his trip, it would have made things a lot easier.

SPARKY: Wade has a trip too?

BUSTER: I don't know why, but this whole thing feels like an episode of Modern Family.

WADE: I don't have a trip. I got into FDA, but...

RK: HALLELUJAH!

The boys start cheering and hugging Wade.

SPARKY: Man, we should throw a party.

BUSTER: How come you didn't tell us you got in?

WADE: Well, there's a package deal. I got in, but they also invited me to some orientation retreat this summer. If I go, I won't be able to come with you guys on the RV trip.

SPARKY: Oh.

Beat.

JAYLYNN: Well, I think you should go.

WADE: Jaylynn, you're already going to Palestine. You don't need to scheme anymore.

JAYLYNN: No, I'm serious. You've been talking about this school ever since fourth grade. You're not going to be happy if you turn it down.

SPARKY: Besides, remember what happened when you skipped fifth grade? You weren't ready for junior high. This orientation might put you on the right track.

WADE: What do you think, Buster?

BUSTER: I agree with these two. Go to the retreat, eat nuts and berries and sleep in a log cabin.

WADE: I don't know if that's what we're doing.

BUSTER: It's what you should be doing.

WADE: Well, that's three-for-three. RK?

RK simply gets up from the couch and extends his arms to Wade for a hug. A confused Wade simply gets up from the couch and hugs him.

RK: Congratulations, buddy. Enjoy your trip.

RK leaves the house.

JAYLYNN: What the hell was that?

WADE: I know. You think he's mad?

SPARKY: I doubt it. Maybe he was so emotional, he didn't want to make a big scene.

BUSTER: I know how RK feels. When my old bunny Winky died, I couldn't even be at the funeral. Not because I didn't love him, but I wanted it to be about him, not me.

SPARKY: Buster, you organized the funeral and invited the guests.

BUSTER: That's what made it so difficult.

SCENE 12

The Jennings Household

Exterior RK's Bedroom

Seattle, Washington

Later that night, RK is sitting at his balcony when Wade walks up to him.

WADE: You got a minute? KG told me you were up here.

RK: For you, I have ten. So, how excited are you for the retreat?

WADE: Dude, you can cut the act.

RK: What act?

WADE: This act. You being supportive and happy for me. I know you don't want me to go, just say it.

RK: I do want you to go.

WADE: No, you don't.

RK: Yes, I do.

WADE: No, you don't, and I want you to admit it.

RK: Fine. I don't want you to go. Does that make you feel better?

WADE: Yeah, it does...wait a minute, it doesn't.

RK: Are you kidding me?

WADE: It didn't feel genuine. I want you to say it with your gut, with conviction.

RK: Wade, I don't get it. For years, you've wanted me to be more positive about things, see the bigger picture, give things a chance. I show you that I'm proud of you and want you to go on the retreat, and you're still upset?

WADE: Yes, because...

RK: Because what?

WADE: Because that's not how this works! I'm supposed to have this great opportunity and you're supposed to be resistant at first, then warm up to it over time. That's our shtick!

RK: Well, I'm not doing shtick. And I'm honestly a little offended that you think I would hold you back.

WADE: Maybe if you did, I would actually want to go away.

RK: I'm sorry, what?

WADE: I don't want to go on the retreat, man. I don't think I'm ready. I won't be with you guys, I'll be surrounded by all these strangers in the middle of nowhere. It'll just be a reminder that I won't have this anymore, and I've gotten used to this. That's why I was hoping you would convince me to stay.

RK: Huh. Guess I picked the wrong day to go off-brand then.

WADE: Yup.

RK: Look, Wade, I would love it if you could come with us in the RV, but you have things to do. You're moving up in life and I wouldn't be your best friend if I tried keeping you down.

WADE: Wow. I never thought I would see the day.

RK: Yeah, I know you were expecting some over-the-top, irrational moment of paranoia where I talk about how much things are changing, but...I think I'm ready to embrace the future. Besides, I already had that moment. Remember, in April during science class?

WADE: Yeah, it took nine teachers and a paper bag to calm you down.

RK: It was an iconic day. Wade, no matter what happens or what school we go to, we'll always be best friends. I'll never find anyone better than you.

WADE: Me either. You know what? If you can embrace the future and gain some new perspective, then I can too. I'm going on the retreat.

RK: That's my boy.

RK and Wade shake hands and hug.

WADE: There's just one thing I don't get. If you were cool with me going, why did you leave so soon?

RK: Oh, I just felt a little emotional, you know. In the moment of your triumph, I didn't want to take away from said moment by being...a big old crying piece of shit.

RK begins crying.

RK: My buddy's really growing up!

WADE: It's okay, RK. Let it all out.

RK: It's almost like I got accepted into that fancy boy school!

SCENE 13

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Hallway

Seattle, Washington

On the last day of school, the janitor is sweeping up the floors as kids finish cleaning out their lockers, collect their diplomas and "Class of 2020" T-shirts, and say goodbye to their friends and teachers. The members of TSE are all wearing their "Class of 2020" shirts as they look around at the hallway, slowly becoming like a ghost town as more kids leave the school.

RK: Well, guys, this is a mo-mentous o-cassion. We made it, the last day of school in this God-forsaken environment.

JAYLYNN: RK, I'm curious. If you hated elementary school so much, what makes you think junior high is gonna be any different?

RK: Maturity and wisdom, Jaylynn. And blind optimism. Use those three things, you can make it anywhere.

BUSTER: I'm still upset Manny signed my yearbook saying, "Hopefully, they don't put you in the special ed classes next year."

SPARKY: That son of a bitch, I hope you got him back for that.

BUSTER: Don't worry, I did. We're even now.

Cut to Manny and Will looking at Manny's yearbook.

MANNY: "Have fun rotting in summer school, motherf***er." The nerve of that kid, how dare he talk to me like that?

WILL: It's not like you didn't have it coming.

MANNY: Maybe, but still...I don't know if I'm ever going to be okay with this.

Cut to Ashley standing by her locker and RK walking up to her.

RK: Hey Ashley.

ASHLEY: RK, what's up? You ready to sign my yearbook now?

RK: That's what I came to talk to you about. I know I kept you in suspense, but I just couldn't write a simple few yearbook sentences. So I decided to give you something a little more...comprehensive.

RK gives Ashley a couple pages stapled together.

ASHLEY: How many pages is this?

RK: Five. I talk about our whole history together, starting from when I was in love with you to when...well, whatever we're doing now.

ASHLEY: You know you didn't have to do this.

RK: Of course, I did. You were always a good friend to me, Ashley, and I wanted you to know that. Just remember to keep in touch.

ASHLEY: Will do. And RK?

RK: Yeah?

Ashley hugs RK.

ASHLEY: Thank you. I really appreciate this.

RK: No problem.

RK pats Ashley on the back and returns to the gang.

RK: See that? That's how you say goodbye to someone you'll never see again.

JAYLYNN: Well-done, bro.

WADE: So, we could go now? We all have everything we need?

Sparky looks around and sees Shane at the water fountain.

SPARKY: Not yet. There's one more thing I have to do.

Sparky runs to the water fountain.

SPARKY: Hey Shane.

SHANE: Look, dude, I never broke the agreement. I don't know what my friends said, they're all idiots!

SPARKY: Relax, man, I'm not here for that. I just wanted to give you these.

Sparky gives Shane some extra "Class of 2020" T-shirts.

SHANE: What are these?

SPARKY: Class of 2020 shirts. Last year, the fifth graders gave us some of their shirts. You know, like a passing of the torch. Maybe next year, you'll do the same thing.

SHANE: I think I will. Thanks, man, this is really cool.

SPARKY: No problem. Take care of this place.

SHANE: I'll try.

Sparky walks away and goes back to the guys.

SPARKY: Now, we can go.

SCENE 14

("Beautiful Life" by Nas featuring RaVaughn plays in the background)

The camera slowly pulls away to a panoramic view as the kids leave the school and the janitor continues sweeping up the halls. Dissolve into a few weeks later where Jaylynn has her bags packed and is heading to the airport for her trip to Palestine. She hugs all of the boys and then drives away as they wave goodbye. Later on, Wade is shown packing his bags for the retreat, and the scene is the same as what happened with Jaylynn: He hugs all of the boys, then drives away as they wave him goodbye. However, Wade screams as he almost hits an incoming cat and swerves to avoid it. The boys sigh in relief due to Wade being safe.

One morning, Sparky leaves the house with his bags and sees the RV parked near it. He gets in the RV and high-fives RK and Buster as the RV takes off to stop at Halley's house. After getting on board the RV with her bags, she has a group hug with the boys. In the form of postcards, clips are shown of the three trips including: Sparky, Buster, RK, and Halley going to Denver eating omelets at the hotel, then wrestling in the RV; Jaylynn taking a picture in shalwar kameez surrounded by members of Anja's family, and Wade taking part in sack races and trust falls at the retreat with other incoming FDA VIII freshmen. The caption then reads "First Day of Junior High - September 9, 2020." Wade drives off to FDA VIII while Sparky drives himself, Buster, RK, and Jaylynn to Craig Bartlett Junior High.

SCENE 15

The MacDougal Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

Later that day, Sparky, Buster, RK, and Jaylynn are watching TV when Wade walks into the house wearing his FDA VIII uniform: A burgundy polo shirt with black pants and black shoes.

WADE: Hey guys, what's going on?

SPARKY: Just relaxing after our first day. Damn, you look like your school's at a country club.

WADE: Really? It looks that formal?

RK: Man, that uniform makes me think your school has golf and a racial quota to adhere to.

WADE: Eh, it's not that bad. So, what did you guys get into?

JAYLYNN: It took me a half hour to find my homeroom. When I got in, I could just tell everybody was staring at me.

BUSTER: And the older kids looked like mountains. It felt like I was in the hallway with Shaq every five minutes.

WADE: Eh, don't worry. You'll find your way.

SPARKY: I think we all will.

Sparky winks at the camera as the kids continue watching TV. RK looks confused as seconds go by without anyone talking and the scene begins fading to black. However, the fading momentarily stops.

RK: So, are we just not gonna talk about the first day anymore?

The guys give RK blank stares, then go back to watching TV.

RK: Alright. *looks directly at the camera* It's been real, America.

Cut to black.

("Where's the Love" by Nas featuring Cocaine 80s plays over the end credits, which move slower than usual, much like they would in feature films)

©2020 ANDERSON PRODUCTIONS

SEE YOU LATER :)