Natsu was resting again, curled into a small ball on the infirmary bed, his desperate grip on Gray's hand unwavering even in sleep. Not that the Ice Mage had had any intention of going anywhere else, not sure that he could even trust his legs at the moment, having collapsed into the chair that Erza had brought him when it became clear that Natsu wasn't going to release him.

Natsu who didn't remember who he was, but somehow remembered Gray.

Gray kept waiting for someone to leap out at him and tell him it was just a terrible joke, kept looking at the Dragon-slayer, waiting for him to break out into a wild grin and laugh about how he'd tricked him. It hadn't happened, the mood in the room tense and worried, something that he knew the Dragon-slayer had picked up on and had only added to his confusion because he didn't understand or at least not entirely. He wasn't sure who he was, and from some slow, meandering questioning they knew it wasn't so much that he had forgotten, as it was a disconnect between him and his memories. He knew who they were, although Porlyusica and Erza had been treated with a wariness that he knew had hurt the latter in particular, as though he wasn't quite sure of their place in whatever it was that he did remember. He certainly knew who Gray was…

"You're Natsu," he whispered. "My Natsu."

"Yours…?" Natsu echoed, sounding lost and young and Gray ached at the sound. At the realisation that his words hadn't meant anything, hadn't anchored Natsu like he wanted. "I… you're always there."

"What do you mean?" Porlyusica had asked, leaning in and Gray knew that she was only trying to help, that she needed these answers if they were going to work out what the hell Gildarts' magic had done to Natsu and more importantly how they were going to fix it. Still, he couldn't miss the way Natsu tensed a little at her voice. Biting back a comment he would regret, he squeezed Natsu's hand, trying to encourage him to answer. Please help us to fix this, he thought but didn't say, not wanting to put that on Natsu when the Fire Mage already looked so overwhelmed by everything. But what if we can't…? He shoved that doubt aside as best he could, not wanting Natsu to see it in his expression, although when he caught Erza's eyes for a moment, he knew that she had seen it and felt the same.

"I…" Natsu started, faltered and looked to Gray, who nodded in what he hoped was an encouraging way even as his stomach sank further. This wasn't what Natsu was supposed to be like, he was loud and brash and got them into trouble more often than not, and for all the times that Gray had grumbled about that – usually without any real heat – he now took it back. He wanted that Natsu back. "I remember…I think?" Natsu's nose wrinkled, and the urge to tease him not to think too hard bubbled up and then disintegrated. "I have these memories, full of people…and maybe they're mine? But I don't, they don't feel like they belong to me? I'm not sure if I'm in them or if they're mine like there's a piece missing…"

A piece missing….

Bile rose in the back of Gray's throat, remembering how the tiny Natsu's had splintered and disintegrated in front of his eyes when he'd first reached Natsu and Gildarts.

Gildarts what did you do?

"But you remember Gray? And us?" Porlyusica was pressing, and Gray wanted to stop her. He didn't want to hear more of this, the horrifying realisation clawing at him, but he knew they needed the answers.

"Gray…" Natsu whispered his name as though it was a prayer, protection against everything that had happened and been lost, and all the Ice Mage could hear was an echo of the Dragon-slayer shouting for him, terrified and desperate, and this time he knew that his attempt at a smile fell flat. Mercifully Natsu had glanced down, looking at their linked hands. "He's there, I can see him clearly in the memories. Always there." Relief. Natsu sounded relieved, even though Gray knew that not all of those memories would have the most positive slant, after all their rivalry had run deep. And it had taken them a long time to become friends and teammates and more, but Natsu didn't seem to care, looking up at him again with such trust that Gray felt as though he might be the one to shatter beneath the weight of it. "See you too," Natsu's attention had shifted to Erza and Porlyusica. "But…"

"Not quite as often," Erza was the one to finish, and her smile was only a fraction better than Gray's. The Ice Mage couldn't blame her, but he also understood where Natsu was coming from, they lived together, spent most of their time together even when they weren't on jobs, of course, that was going to leave a different impression in his memories. Natsu nodded before looking back at Gray again.

"Why?"

"Why?" Gray echoed.

"Why don't I remember who I am? But I remember you…?"

Gray hadn't been able to answer him. As furious as he was with Gildarts, he knew how close Natsu was to the older man, and he didn't want to be the one to destroy that, although he wasn't sure how they could get back to how they'd been after all this. Then there was the fact that they simply didn't know what had happened, not really, and he didn't want to say anything until they had a better idea. 'We're not sure, but we're going to find out…" He'd given him a meaningless platitude, trying not to let his doubts, his fear that they might not be able to find the answer or more importantly the cure from bleeding through, and Natsu had just accepted it. Trusting Gray so completely, and it terrified him. It was that fear that was dominant now as he tore his gaze away from the sleeping Dragon-slayer to look up at Porlyusica and Erza who were watching the pair of them with worried eyes.

"What do we do now?" He asked, voice low so that he wouldn't disturb the Dragon-slayer, desperate not to let Natsu realise just how lost they were. "He…"

"We will find an answer." It was Porlyusica who answered, meeting his gaze evenly and he wanted to believe her, and for a moment he did because there was no doubt in her voice, no hesitation in her expression. But is that because she knows, or because she believes? She was still part of Fairy Tail, and their guild didn't believe in the impossible, and that coloured their actions and words, but right then Gray couldn't drum up that part of himself and couldn't help but doubt.

"But what if we don't...?" What happens if we can't fix this? If we can't help Natsu remember who he is?

"Gray," Erza moved to him, resting a hand on his shoulder. "We will find something, I promise." Her hand was steady, and there was steel in her voice, and it was more habit than anything that had him nodding, but he couldn't bring himself to look at her, his gaze returning to Natsu once more.

But, what if we can't…

Erza and Porlyusica had left shortly after that to fill Makarov and others in on what had happened, and Gray was selfishly relieved that they would be the ones to let Happy know what had happened to his partner. He hadn't been able to find the right words for the Exceed when they'd sat together waiting for Natsu to work, and it had been a relief when Wendy and Carla had pulled Happy away to take a break. He couldn't imagine breaking this news to him, especially when they weren't entirely sure how well Natsu remembered everyone else.

He remembers me…

Gray knew that he should be happy about that, and part of him was. The thought that Natsu could have forgotten him, forgotten what they were, hurt more than he had ever thought possible. But, now in the face of Natsu's confusion and fear, caught in the quagmire of his own thoughts and doubts he couldn't help but wonder if maybe that would have been a better outcome. You're my Natsu, he'd said, and he'd never meant something more than he had at that moment, and if Natsu had forgotten him, he wouldn't have rested until he had won the Dragon-slayer back. But helping him to remember himself? Gray wasn't sure how they were supposed to do that, even if they could work out what had happened in the first place.

Natsu, I don't know how to fix this.

Gildarts was surprised that Gray hadn't come to confront him after hearing what had happened in the infirmary, the bruise that spread up across his cheek and around his eye throbbing in time with his heartbeat as Porlyusica and Erza filled them in. Natsu. He could feel the weight of everyone's gaze resting on him as the pair lapsed into silence, demanding answers.

Answers that he didn't have.

Makarov had already questioned him about what had happened. Over and over, as though there was some clue in his words, some detail that he might suddenly remember. He knew that Levy and Freed were already searching the library for any information about his magic and its effect on people, and his stomach lurched at the thought of what they might find.

I should never have used it against him…

All those years of being cautious with his magic, the precautions he took because he knew how destructive his power was, and it all faded from his thoughts when confronted with Natsu. It was fun to fight the Dragon-slayer even though Natsu hadn't yet made it to his level the potential was there. And Natsu had never been afraid of him, never daunted by that difference and in a world where people would dart out of his path and rebuild cities to stop him from being a threat that had been a gift.

And nothing had happened. The first time he'd split Natsu into hundreds of tiny versions of himself had been a little bit of accident, after all the boy was not his enemy, but Natsu had been fine. Hell, he had even turned it to his advantage, something that Gildarts had never seen before, and nothing untoward had happened, he'd reversed the magic, and the Dragon-slayer had been himself again. The second time, when they had encountered one another following the Tartarus events that he had missed out on, Natsu had been driven in a way that he hadn't been before, and that time it had been more deliberate because Natsu was growing fast, and again nothing had happened.

So, what went wrong this time?

"I'm going to win this time!"

Gildarts had been expecting it, knowing that Natsu didn't care that he had been fragmented, more than happy to turn it into a weapon. It was different this time though, the power in these tiny Natsu's was stronger than it had been before, and all of it was turned on him, a storm of angry, dancing sparks that lashed against him. Tiny feet and fists pounding against his skin, fire catching his hair, his beard and clothes and he could smell burning… You're growing Natsu, he thought, pride colouring that thought. The war had honed the Dragon-slayer further, and Natsu was still growing in strength and skill. And as his vision filled with flames, Gildarts found himself stumbling back with a shout, part pain – because as tiny as the flames were they hurt – and frustration, because as fast as he batted them away, a dozen more of the tiny Natsu's filled their space and Natsu wasn't stopping.

Blinded by the flames, he reached out to grab handfuls of the Natsu, his own magic flaring as he readied to reconstruct Natsu into one. Perhaps, he had put too much magic into it, or let his temper get the better of him. All that he knew was the Natsus that he was holding and the ones around him were melting away, their expressions that had been twisted into wild grins and triumphant expressions seconds before now reflecting fear.

No, not fear… he had seen Natsu afraid before, had taught him that it wasn't a bad thing.

This wasn't fear, this was terror…

Natsu was terrified of him…

Gildarts blinked. Was that the difference? Had Natsu's terror affected the magic? But, why had he been so afraid in the first place? There was nothing new about that fight, and Natsu had been through so much, faced much worse, and it had been a friendly spar, a challenge. Nothing for him to be terrified of, and it had come on so quickly. It wasn't Natsu, he couldn't let himself take that out, knew that Gray at least would never let him get away with even thinking it. It had been him, something about his magic, his control had gone wrong. But what? The others were still staring at him, waiting for answers, and his hands were trembling as he clenched them together in his lap.

Natsu, what have I done?