Chapter 4 Lost and Found: Goodbyes

Charles McCauley, Head of Child Services wouldn't budge, 'I sit firmly alongside Wolfelt: his view is that children should be told the truth and involved with each stage of the process. He said, and I quote, 'anyone old enough to love is old enough to grieve.'

Ella replied, 'This isn't just about grieving, Charles that'll happen no matter what. But, should I take him to the funeral? And then what about the possible additional mental impact?'

Charles said, 'You can't necessarily separate the two, Ella.'

'Good God, Charles we're talking about a frail four-year-old whose mother was dead for four days before we found her. And when we did, said four-year-old was lying next to her attempting to cover her with his blankie.'

Charles clears his throat, 'So, if he hasn't already done so, he's highly likely to fully grasp the fact that his mother is dead at the funeral, enabling him to voice his emotions and to begin to move on, yes?'

'And you don't think he's suffered enough?' Ella sighed.

'Aren't you taking this a tad personally?'

Well thank God someone is, on behalf of this child. We can't even begin to fathom what else he's already seen or experienced. I am not against funerals but in this case I…'

A knock on the door signals the arrival of Lyndsey Stobbart, Child Psychologist. Like boxers between rounds Charles and Ella pause for breath.

Charles stands. Ella goes to the door.

Extending her hand Ella greets Lyndsey warmly, 'Thanks for taking the time to come down in person. We could use your input. Charles and I were just discussing funeral protocol.'

Coming out from behind his desk, Charles shakes hands and says, 'Lovely to meet you Lyndsey. Please, take a seat.'

'Thank you. Only too happy to help.' Lyndsey replies.

Charles gets in first, 'Can you update us on the child's condition Lyndsey?'

Ella scowls.

"Certainly. I've seen Christian four times now. He's clearly a bright child, quite inquisitive, but has yet to attain many of the milestones expected for a child of his age. His medical team say he sleeps relatively lightly but the duration appears to be decreasing, possibly because he's now eating regularly and because sleep is always interrupted by the most violent of nightmares. The latter however are increasing in frequency, duration and impact, and are still the only reason we know he can actually speak. He retains an absolute distrust and fear of males, and abhorrence of being touched by anyone making calming him or waking him stressful to say the least.'

Charles bristles and asks, 'Are distrust and fear factors in the 'should he - shouldn't he attend the funeral' debate? Ella and I sit on opposite sides of that fence. What's your view? Will we do more harm if we send him?'

'Hmm, from what I've learned, he knows his mother was very sick. In sessions he has pointed to images that identified her as sad, cold and pale.'

Ella interrupts, 'Can we know that he would understand the meaning of the funeral? Or if we would simply be adding to those nightmares?'

"If only it were that simple…He has, however, built a good rapport with Dr Grace Trevelyan-Grey, the Paeds' specialist, who first treated him in the ER. This may help, but only if Grace is willing at the time and afterwards. It's a big ask.'

Lyndsey stands and paces, 'In my view, it's a gamble… one we don't have to take if the event is too soon for us to prepare him properly.'

Ella adds hotly, 'There is plenty of research evidence that children under ten are not best served by attending the funeral of a close relative, particularly where the death was likely to have been a violent one and was also witnessed by the child, as is highly likely in this case.'

Lyndsey stops pacing. 'May I add to that?'

Charles nods. 'By all means.'

In my last two sessions, I believe Christian was beginning to show some signs of guilt. Either he thinks he was responsible, or he believes he should have been able to save her. Such emotions often yield to anger. I suggest, a funeral is no place for such expressions to occur.'

'Dear God.' Charles says rubbing his face vigorously. 'Right. The last thing we want is to feed into those trains of thought. You win, Ella, let's make a file note – if that's agreeable to you – that we recommend…err…'

Ella steps in graciously, '…that Christian Davis be supported to visit his mother's graveside when he is thirteen plus. Subject, of course, to his state of mind and wishes at that point.' She looks around the room at her colleagues. 'Do we all agree that this is the best outcome at this point in time?'

Lyndsey and Charles nod.

Ella stands up. 'Thank you both. I appreciate you taking the time on this. Yes, I agree that I may have been too up close and personal on this one, but we're not made of stone and our clients are neither statistics, nor cost centres. Sometimes we let the policy override our humanity, precisely what I never want to lose sight of. Sorry, I really must go. I have yet another meeting halfway across town.'

And with that Ella was gone.

Total story word count 11551 Page 6 of 6