A/N: This is my 50th fan fiction! This is a story that I have wanted to write for a very long time - the resolution of Caroline and Richard's story. Anyone who is a fan of CITC was very unhappy with the unresolved ending and this is my version of how things should have happened.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to unite Randy and Caroline in holy matrimony. If there is anyone that objects to this union, let him speak now or forever hold-"

The sound of a baby crying broke into the priest's speech and he frowned at me slightly as I turned my head, searching for the source of the sound. None of our family members or close friends had an infant. My nieces and nephews were all over the age of five, and Randy was an only child. I swallowed, thinking of the one man who had a baby, the one man who still held – I felt myself begin to tremble as I stepped down from the raised platform, my eyes sweeping the sanctuary and finally looking up at the balcony. My breath caught in my throat as our gazes locked. My lips formed his name, but no sound escaped.

Mom was suddenly by my side. "The nearest exit is right over there."

I fought the sudden urge to laugh as my eyes flooded with tears. Randy took my arm and tried to pull me back up the steps "Caroline, ignore him. This is our wedding day – lets continue with the ceremony."

"But why is he here?" I whispered, my eyes were once again drawn to the balcony where Richard was rocking his son back and forth, humming softly.

"Does it matter? You can ask him at the reception."

"I – I guess so."

Randy smiled at me. "I love you, Caroline."

For some reason, the words stuck in my throat. But Randy just squeezed my arm and climbed the steps to resume his place by the priest. Before I could move, someone grabbed my arm and spun me around.

"Stella!" I gasped at the older woman. "But – aren't you - dead?"

She waved my words away. "Never mind that – why are you marrying that guy? Who is that guy?"

"His name is Randy – he's my childhood – um- we've known each other a long time and –"

Stella rolled her eyes. 'Yeah, sounds like you really love him."

"I do!"

"More than Richard?"

"Stella, Richard left me alone in the airport after telling me he didn't want children with me – we're too different – we can't make this – whatever it is, work."

"Do you remember the advice I gave you the day we met? Don't make the same mistake I did. Don't wait fifty years, Caroline. Talk to Richard – before it's too late."

"What's the point? We've said all there is to say. I want kids and he doesn't. It's over, end of discussion."

Stella tipped her head to the side and smiled at me. "If your relationship is over, why are you dreaming about Richard coming back on the night that Randy proposed to you?"

I sat up in my bed with a gasp, dislodging Salty who had been fast asleep on my chest. She glared at me and stalked to the edge of the bed before curling up and closing her eyes in slumber again. I took several slow, deep breaths to calm my racing heartbeat and get my breathing back under control. A dream, it had all been nothing more than a dream. As I lay back down, my eyes fell on the small jewelry box on the nightstand and I sighed. Okay, not all of it was a dream. Randy did propose tonight. And how weird that I dreamed of marrying him, and that Richard showed up with baby Stefano, and that Stella Lawson was giving me relationship advice! Angie would probably say it was an omen! But an omen of what? That I still love Richard? Like I need a dream to tell me that. I snorted in disgust and rolled over to my right side.

Sleep was a long time coming.

"I'm so sorry I'm late! Traffic was murder – and you would not believe the taxi driver I had! I mean, I told him that I had a lunch date thinking that would motivate the guy but I don't think that he- Care, are you even listening to me?"

My head snapped up as Annie dropped into the seat across from me at Remo's. "What? Oh Annie, I'm sorry, what were you saying? I'm afraid I was lost in thought."

"I'll bet you were thinking about your fabulous date last night. So come on, show it to me."

I frowned. "Show what to you?"

"Come on, don't be coy with me. The ring! Randy told me all about how he was going to propose last night."

I leaned back against the wall of the booth. "I didn't say yes."

"What! You mean you turned that hunky doctor man down? Caroline, I'm going to get your head examined!"

"Annie! I didn't say no either – I asked for time."

"Oh hon, are you still hung up on – you know who?"

"It's been four months, you can say Richard's name."

"Must I?" she grimaced as Johnny placed a Jack and Diet in front of her and waited for our orders. Annie ordered the special of the day and frowned at me when I only ordered a chopped salad. "Why are you back to eating rabbit food?"

"I'm still full of dinner last night."

Annie shook her head. "Come on, spill. What's wrong?"

I toyed with the straw in my soda. "I had this dream last night-"

"Oh boy."

"What?"

"Well, the last time you started a conversation with those words it was about your dream of kissing Richard and you ended up calling off your wedding to Del. So, what does this have to do with the Lord of Pain?"

"Don't call him that. Richard is – he's different with me, I've told you that."

"And yet, he left you broken-hearted and alone at JFK airport."

"Annie, please. I need to talk to someone about this but if you can't behave-"

"Hey – I love you like a sister, Care, and he – you were so depressed for a month after he left. You would not leave your apartment, you wouldn't draw your strip, and I could barely get you to eat. You lost ten pounds! You scared me – and I just don't want you to go back to that dark place again."

"Hey, I'm okay now." I reached across the table and grabbed one of her hands, squeezing it tight. "I could not have gotten through those weeks without you. But I feel like I need to talk to him after the dream I had last night – that maybe things aren't done between us."

"I think you're setting yourself up for more heartbreak, but go ahead, tell me about the dream."

Slowly, with a few stops and starts, I told Annie about the dream, trying to make it as real for her as it had been for me. I paused when Johnny brought our meals to the table, not wanting him to overhear and think that I had lost all my marbles. I picked at my salad, but Annie ate with her usual ferocious appetite, perhaps to keep from making editorial comments during my retelling.

"Well? What do you think?" I prompted my best friend once I finished.

Annie popped the last bite of garlic toast in her mouth and chewed noisily. "Well," she breathed the word out slowly. "You do know that Stella wasn't really there, right? That you were in fact basically talking to yourself?"

"Thank you, Dr Freud. Yes, I did have that much figured out. But she really did give me that advice. She told me not to make the same mistake she did about wasting fifty years. I still love him, Annie."

"I know you do – but nothing's changed. He doesn't want a family-"

"How do I know that? Perhaps being with his son these past four months has changed his mind-"

"No, Caroline! I'm not going to let you give yourself false hope! From the very beginning of your relationship, you knew he had these fears and you thought that by being with you, he could overcome them, that he could change. People don't change, not that much – they are who they are."

I shook my head. "I told you, he was different with me: romantic, softer, lighter. And he wasn't the only one who was afraid. I had my own fears as well. The fear of not being as beautiful as Julia, the fear that Julia gave him a child and I didn't, the fear that I'm not enough by myself – that I have to be a mother as well as a wife."

"Caroline, that's ridiculous-"

"Perhaps, but those are my fears and they are just as crippling as Richard's. But I realized something last night when I was trying to go back to sleep – we still have a lot to talk about."

"Hey ladies!"

My head snapped to the side to see Del and Randy standing next to the table. Randy smiled at me. "I thought I'd join you for dessert and guess who decided to tag along?"

Del grinned. "Tag along – makes me sound like a girl scout cookie."

Annie rolled her eyes as she slid out of the booth and grabbed his hand. "Come on, scout, let's pick out something for dessert." She dragged him off to the counter.

Randy frowned as he slid into the booth next to me. "Are we interrupting something?"

"No – well, yes, but you have excellent timing. I was going to call you later but now I can just tell you in person: I'm going to be out of town for a few days."

"Out of town? Are you going back to Wisconsin to see your folks?"

I squirmed and dropped my eyes. "No, it's an international trip."

"I see. Caroline, what are you trying to say?"

I breathed in and out before answering. "I'm going to Italy to see Richard."

There was a long pause before Randy spoke again. "Has he contacted you?"

"No. I just need to talk to him."

"Why?"

I raised my eyes to his and tried not to flinch at the hurt I could see in them. "I'm sorry."

"I don't understand. Caroline, it's over between the two of you – he left – you said-"

I raised a hand and gently placed a finger against his lips. "I know what I said but when you proposed, I realized-" I shrugged. "I am sorry, Randy." I dropped my hand and reached into my purse for the jewelry box. I placed it in his palm and closed his fingers around it. "I hope someday you can forgive me."

I buried my face in my hands as Randy stumbled from Remo's and I bit down a little fear that I had just made a huge mistake. Then I gave myself a shake as Annie and Del returned to the booth with two plates of tiramisu.

No, I have big fears in front of me to conquer. And hopefully at the end of it, Richard will be waiting for me.

"Caroline! Are you still here?"

"Upstairs, Annie!"

I heard her heels thundering on the stairs and she crashed into my bedroom, landing on the bed, dislodging Salty and one of my duffel bags. "I have the most amazing news! I'm so glad I didn't miss you – I got a second call back."

"For what part?" My voice was muffled as I bent down to retrieve the bag that had landed halfway under the bed.

"Are you listening to me?" Annie demanded.

"Yes." I stood up straight and focused on my best friend. "What's the part?"

"I'm officially on the short list for the understudy of Mary Magdalene in Jesus Christ Superstar!" Annie squealed.

"Get out!"

"I'm out!"

I grabbed her in a hug, and we jumped up and down. "Annie, this is fantastic news! I wish we had time to celebrate but my taxi is going to be here any minute."

"It's okay. I called Del and he's on his way over with a bottle of champagne and some body paint. We're going to-"

I held up a hand. "Please, don't finish that sentence. Knowing about the two of you and knowing what you do are two entirely different things."

She laughed and hugged me tight. "Are you sure about this?" she nodded at the duffel bags on the bed.

"Absolutely. I'm at peace for the first time in months. And I've eaten more in the past three days than the past week. You won't forget to come over and take care of Salty?"

Annie scooped up my cat from the end of the bed. "I'll take good care of your baby, don't worry. You just look after yourself."

"I promise." The phone on my nightstand rang. "That's probably the taxi company. They said they would call when they were five minutes away."

"I'll skedaddle then. Have a safe flight and tell Dra- Richard hello."

"I will."

After Annie left, I did a last-minute check around the room, making sure I had my passport, the one thing that I couldn't replace in Italy, before heading downstairs. I had just given Salty one final kitty treat when there was a knock at the door.

"I'll be right there!" I gave my baby one last squeeze. "You be a good girl for Annie – no scratching or biting, understand?"

Salty meowed and squirmed so I set her down and went to open the door, turning back as I did to grab my bags. "I don't have very much. Just these-"

"Caroline."

I froze at the sound of his voice, not believing the voice that was reaching my ears. I turned slowly, afraid that he wouldn't be there, and yet there he was in my doorway, dressed head to toe in his usual black, a duffel bag at his feet and Stefano in some sort of sling across his chest.

"Richard," I breathed his name softly and watched as the corners of his mouth quirked slightly in response. I moved slowly across the floor until I was less than a foot away from him, close enough that I could smell his aftershave and share his breathing space. "Am I dreaming?"

He reached out and pinched the back of my hand.

"Ouch! Richard!" I yelped, dancing a step back.

The door across the hall flew open and a robe-clad Annie stepped into the hall, followed by a boxer-clad Del.

"Richard?!" they both exclaimed in unison.

"Ow, my eyes!" Richard groaned.

All the loud exclamations woke Stefano, who immediately started shrieking. Richard turned back to me with an expression of slight amusement that I knew quite well. "Still think you're dreaming?"

I bent down and grabbed his duffel with one hand and with my other hand I pulled him inside my apartment. "Good night Annie, Del," I called to my friends as I shut the door.

Richard had managed to shrug out of the sling and was trying to soothe Stefano. "He's hungry. Caroline, would you mind looking in the duffel for a bottle? I think there should be one left."

I set the duffel on the kitchen counter and unzipped the bag, then sifted through the contents until I found a bottle on the very bottom. "Should I heat it up?"

Richard shook his head. "No, just hand it over before his shrieks go ultrasonic."

I smiled and watched as Richard expertly uncapped the bottle with one hand and fed his son, rocking and humming softly under his breath. I felt myself get light-headed as I realized that this scene was eerily similar to my dream.

Someone knocked on the door.

"Don't tell me that's Annie and her paramour."

I laughed. "No, it's probably my taxi driver."

Richard looked at the bags by the front door. "You were going somewhere?"

"Yes. But it doesn't matter now."

I answered the door and after paying the driver something for his trouble, I locked the door so we wouldn't be interrupted again. I turned back in time to see that Richard had finished feeding Stefano and was now burping him.

"What did you mean, it doesn't matter now?"

"Well, I was going to see you – but you're here, so it doesn't matter."

"Caroline-"

"Why are you here, Richard?"

He sighed. "Why don't I put Stefano down for the night, and we can talk?"

I nodded. "I'd like that."

"Why are you here, Richard?"

Stefano had been asleep for an hour and we still had not started to talk. Things were tense, the air between us charged. I made us a snack, and we ate in the living room on the couch with some healthy distance between us. Now we were each nursing a cup of tea and the space between us was disappearing. Finally, Richard picked up my hand and rubbed the back of it, slowly.

"For the first month or so I was trying to get to know my son – or rather, seeing if I wanted to be a father at all. But Julia was gone, with no intention of returning, so for better or worse, I was all Stefano had. And the more time I spent with him, the more I fell in love with him. He loved the blanket you picked out – he stopped crying the instant I placed it on him."

I smiled. "Really?"

He nodded. "I talked about you every day, and little by little I began to realize that I wasn't afraid of him anymore. But I'd lost you – my greatest fear had come true. You were gone from my life."

"Richard, I-"

"Let me say this, Caroline, because if I stop I don't know if I can start again."

I nodded.

"Before we were together, I was afraid all the time. I was afraid to put myself out there when it came to my art because what if I got rejected? How could I go on? What if I told you how I felt and you laughed at me? What would I do without you in my life? That's one of the main reasons I was with Julia – at least I had someone who cared about me and if it failed, it wouldn't destroy me, because I didn't love her like I loved you."

"Oh, Richard." I blinked my tears away.

"Then we got together and for a while life was more wonderful than I could have imagined. But I was still afraid. I was waiting for it all to fall apart – and in the end, I made it happen. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy-"

"Enough!" I yanked my hand from his and cupped his face. "I don't want to hear any more of your self-pity, Richard Karinsky! You are not alone in your fears, do you hear me? I know you have them, but I have my own as well. Call them expectations, or wanting to please and not let others down, but the simple fact is that I was just as scared as you were. I was so afraid that I wouldn't live up to Julia's beauty that it made me horribly self-conscious. Why would you want to be with such a mousy woman when you'd been married to a knockout? When we found out that you had a child, you want to know what my first reaction was? Jealousy. I was jealous that Julia had given you a child. What if I never could? What if all I could be to you was a wife – and never the mother of your children? Was that a bad thing? My whole life I've been preparing to be a wife and mother – what if I'm only your wife – is that enough?"

"Caro-line!" he groaned, tilting his head in my hands. "That's complete nonsense. You are the most beautiful, amazing woman I've ever known. You have nothing to be jealous of Julia for- being with you is all I ever wanted."

I leaned in and brushed my lips against his. "You haven't lost me, Richard."

"What?" he choked on the word. "But in the airport, you said-"

"We both said quite a few things back then. But that was months ago, and I am still waiting to hear why you are here now."

"I would have been here sooner but it takes a while to get an international passport for an infant not to mention I had to track down Julia and deal with Mr. Mazzoli-"

"Richard."

He pulled his face out of my hands to clasp them in his. "I'm here because Stefano helped me realize that children aren't so scary. And if I can fall in love with a child that is part Julia and part me, I can only imagine how I will feel about a child that is part you and part me."

My light-headedness was back but this time I reveled in it as I leaned in towards Richard. "So, are you saying you want children after all?"

"I'm saying that I want to marry you, Caroline Duffy, and have a family with you. But I need you to know that family includes Stefano, a child that is part Julia. Is that something you can live with?"

I wanted to scream yes from the roof top, but my fears were still holding me back. "Where do things stand with you and Julia?"

A look of sadness washed over his face for a moment. "I had a lawyer track down Julia in Monte Carlo. She gave up her parental rights and has agreed to pay child support for Stefano. Mr. Mazzoli would like to stay in touch with his grandson, but I've insisted that visits not start until Stefano is old enough to understand. I know that this is all going to take some time to get used to. New York is my home, and it is where I want to raise my son whether we're together or not. I hope that in time, you'll come around-"

"Richard, I merely wanted clarification about Julia. I wanted to know if she was going to be popping in and out of our lives. That's something that would not help my fears go away."

"I can assure you that she is out of the picture. Wait- does that mean-"

"Haven't you been listening to a word I said? I was coming to Italy to see you, Richard. I wanted to talk about all of this, your fears and mine. I wanted to see if things had changed, to see if we could perhaps find a way back to each other."

"Caroline, I meant what I said at the airport. I will always love you."

"I love you too." I pressed my lips to his and the butterflies in my stomach took flight as I felt him grin in response.

ONE YEAR LATER

"Richard? Where are you?" I called as I pushed the double stroller through the front door, projecting my voice to be heard over the wails of the twins.

"Studio."

"Could you come out here please? I need-" the request died in my throat as Stefano's little arms wrapped around my legs and Richard appeared at my side.

"What happened?" Richard asked in wry amusement as he bent over the front of the stroller, his fingers already working on loosing the straps on Mina's wiggling body. "Is this spit up?"

I sighed and worked to free Vera from the back seat. "We were two blocks from home when our daughters' digestive tracks exploded. Mina spit up most of her breakfast and Vera, well-" I held my daughter out at arms' length. "I think this is her biggest poop yet."

Richard's nose crinkled. "Smells like it."

I waggled my eyebrows. "Wanna trade?"

"Uh, no. I'll keep Mina, thank you."

"Chicken!" I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Hey! Who watched both of them and Stefano the other morning while you had a meeting for your strip?"

I leaned over and pecked his lips. "Yes, you are a super dad. But you somehow manage to avoid the poop duty."

He grinned. "I just have impeccable timing, that's all." He avoided my swat as he bounced Mina gently in his arms and headed for the stairs, humming softly.

"Mama!" Stefano shrieked, his arms tightening around my legs.

"How's my little man?" I smiled down at him. "Can mama have her legs back? I need to change sister."

Stefano frowned up at me and I bit back a laugh. At not quite a year and a half, with Richard's eyes and facial expressions, our son lacked the mischievousness that was so often present in his birth mother, Julia. He did have her olive skin and curly dark hair but as yet, I still saw more of my husband's personality in him than Julia's. Was it wrong of me to hope that the trend would continue as he grew older? I reached down and ran a hand through his dark curls. A rare smile split Stefano's face and he let go of my legs to grab my hand.

"Thank you, son. Will you be my big helper with this stinky diaper?"

He babbled at me and I took it for consent, leading the way over to the changing table off the living room.

Half an hour later, our two-month-old girls were sleeping peacefully side by side in their double wide bassinet in the studio. Stefano was playing in the corner of the room with his blocks, making towers and then knocking them down with big crashing sounds. My drafting table was set up close to the children's play area and I was attempting to work on a strip but Stefano's play distracted me, as did the sight of my husband painting by the floor to ceiling windows. I knew that as soon as the girls were mobile, I would need to relocate all the children, as well as myself, to another area. Stefano knew to stay away from his father when he was painting. Richard had put a paintbrush in Stefano's hand just after his first birthday and the two of them had fun making big splashes of color on paper. Richard had taught Stefano that Papa's paints were not toys and he was not to touch them. Stefano had his own personal paints and paper; Papa had his own paints and canvas. Somehow at only sixteen months, Stefano seemed to get the message. I could not, however, expect our infant daughters to get this message. As soon as they started rolling over and crawling, I feared that I would need to find another playroom for them and another work station for me. Pity, I've really enjoyed having all of us in one room.

I jumped as my husband's arms came around my waist from behind and he settled his chin on top of my head. "Writer's block?"

"I'm too distracted to draw."

"Oh? By what?"

I swiveled on my chair to face him. "By the sight of my beautiful husband and children."

"Caroline." He drew me up and into his arms, his lips pressing eagerly to mine.

I pulled away to catch my breath, my eyes resting first on the girls with their red peach fuzz hair and then moving onto our son with his dark curls. Finally, my gaze returned to my husband, my sincere amore. "Richard, after five years, after everything we've been through, was it worth it?"

A smile unseen by anyone save myself and our children lit Richard's face as he cupped my face in his hands and brushed a feather light kiss across my lips.

"It was worth it."

If there is anyone still out there reading CITC fan fiction, I'd love to hear your thoughts in a review. . . .