Suddenly, the bubbling stopped and water vanished. In the bottom of tub, there was a new born perfect baby boy.

"Waaah!" He began to cry, missing the feeling of water around it.

"Is that?-" Poseidon asked.

"Yeah." Apollo , who stood near the tub took the baby in his arms. He raised the baby towards air.

"Lady gods and gentle gods; I, Apollo hereby present new and improved Hephaestus for you!" He said loudly.

Cries of the baby increased, the blanket around him caught fire. All the goddesses, even Artemis cooed at the cute little guy, who was crying loudly.

"You're scaring him Apollo!" Hera chided, but her tears were visible to all of them. "Give me my son!"

"Alright." Apollo grinned, then he gave the baby to Hera. Hera began to rock him back and forth and kissed his temple.

"He will age up fast, he will pass stages of two years, four years, eight years and it will end in 16 year. Then he is fully grown." Apollo adviced to Hera, who was singing itsy bitsy satyr at gurgling baby.

"Now we are done with interruptions-" Hades said, clearing his throat. He was not happy to take off his hat-ahem helmet but baby was present here so he did it. (Grudgingly)

Hades does some home improvement

"Home improvement? Did you painted the underworld?" Leo asked.

"That will be the first thing you do as your punishment; after your death." Hades said chillingly.

This unnerved the baby who was about to sleep in hands of Hera. He began to cry once again. Hera managed to get the baby stop crying very hard.

No, seriously. Hades might be a creep, but there's no doubt he got the short end of the universe.

"As always." Hades said coldly.

Despite being Rhea's oldest son, he was always counted as the youngest, since the gods went by the order they got barfed from Kronos's gut.

"That's unfair."

If that wasn't bad enough, when the gods rolled dice to divide up the world, Hades got the least desirable part—the Underworld.

"To you, mr. Fish!" Nico said. Hades gave an amused grin.

Of course, Hades was kind of a gloomy dude to begin with,

"That's true. Very true." Demeter said. "He even raised 5 skeletons to play football in Kronos' tummy."

so you could argue that he was destined to hang out underground.

"In a land of myth, and time of Greeks. The destiny of the great underworld rested on the shoulders of a young god. His name: Hades!" Grover imitated the great dragon.

He was always brooding and dressed in black. His dark hair covered his eyes like one of those emo dudes from Japanese manga.

"Manga? Percy I swear if you-" Annabeth was stopped by Percy, he placed a finger between her lips.

"No more word about Naruto. I don't like these people to find it. Especially Jason. He hates manga as hell, I don't know why." Percy whispered.

"How do you know that?" Annabeth whispered back.

"He burned all manga books of Thalia in Zeus cabin and threw the ashes into sea." Percy pouted.

Once he became lord of the Underworld, all the color drained out of his complexion, because he was leaving the mortal world behind.

"But he's free to come back and enjoy some sunshine. Nah, its he's emo brother of family." Poseidon joked.

Even if the other gods wanted to keep in touch with him

"Which they didn't." Jason pointed out.

(which they didn't),

Jason fist bumped with Percy.

the Underworld had really bad phone service and zero Wi-Fi.

The laughter of everyone woke Hephaestus again. He was really mad and had a poop tantrum. His nappies were soaked.

Hera snapped her fingers, poop vanished and Hephaestus was in new nappies. Hephaestus gave her a look of curiosity and somewhat frustration. 'Wha? How?' He thought.

When Hades was down there, he had no idea what was going on in the world above. His only news came from the spirits of the recently dead, who would fill him in on the latest gossip.

"Well, there's no loss. In every second, many mortals die." Athena reminded.

In fact, in Ancient Greek times, whenever you invoked the name of Hades, you had to bang your fist against the ground, because that was the only way to get his attention.

"Or you can use a food sacrifice. You know, cookies?" Leo reminded.

Kind of like, Hey, I'm talking to you!

"If you like furies after your tail." Hades remjnded. Percy swallowed.

Why would you want to get Hades's attention?

"To get a free pass port to Elysium?" Frank suggested.

I'm not sure.

"Look at them. They finish each others questions and answers. " Aphrodite teased.

"Prank. Nice ship both you have there." Piper said.

"That's just bromance." Percy winked.

Eventually the entire Underworld would be called Hades after the god Hades,

"Erebos!" Hades recorrected Percy rudely.

which made things confusing; but the Underworld had actually been around much longer than the god.

"Duh!" Dionysus said.

"No Hephaestus! Eww!" Hera said to baby Hephaestus, who was desperately trying to eat the throne, or at least a chunck of throne. The little guy looked quite happy with the metal piece he had.

Its original name was Erebos,

"Finally a sea demigod learns something." Hades drawled.

and when Hades took over, the place was a real fixer-upper.

"Modification of underworld itself. And dad had done a quite good job at that." Nico said.

Hades gave a cryptic smile.

Let's start with the plumbing.

"Do they even have good water down there?" Apollo asked.

Five different rivers flowed into the Underworld, and you wouldn'twant to use any of them for taking a bath or brushing your teeth.

"Actually, I bath from Phlegethon and brush my teeth from Cocytus. I drink of Acheron." Hades said.

Percy and Annabeth looked at him like he's going to explode.

The least dangerous was the Cocytus, the River of Wailing, which looked tame enough.

Percy shivered. He was going to sunk in it after their fall. Cocytus saved them from fall, yet at the same time, it tried to take their life. If it isn't for Annabeth, he would be a dead man.

Its dark-blue waters wound peacefully through the plains of Erebos, with plenty of nice-looking spots on the riverbank for a picnic;

"No more." Annabeth said. "We had a nice picnic."

but if you got too close, you would hear the cries of tortured souls churning in the current.

Percy and Annabeth's horrifying expressions deepened.

See, the Cocytus was fed by the tears of the damned. Just being near it would send you into a state of depression. If you actually touched the water…well, trust me, you didn't want to do that.

"You two are strong demigods, from what I was told." Jason reminded them.

No amount of cute puppy videos on the Internet would ever lift your spirits again.

"Cute kittens work, man. Foolproof!" Leo said.

The second river was the Phlegethon, the River of Fire. It roared through the Underworld caverns like a torrent of burning gasoline, cutting channels through the black volcanic rock, lighting everything bloodred, filling the air with smoke and fumes until finally the river plummeted as a fiery waterfall into the deeper abyss of Tartarus, which was like the basement of the basement.

"My hot water shower is linked to Phlegethon." Hades said.

So, yeah…when Hades turned on the hot water in his shower, he got a face full of burning Phlegethon.

"No, its perfectly good." Hades said.

"Come on uncle H, admit it!" Apollo said.

No wonder the guy was always in a bad mood.

"Not really. Very different reasons." Hades said.

The crazy thing was, Phlegethon water wouldn't kill you, even if you were mortal.

"Really?" Frank asked.

Sure, it would burn like radioactive chili peppers sautéed in acid. It would make you wish you were dead.

"Seems tasty." Ares wondered. Hephaestus turned his curious face towards his big bro. Ares looked away, pretending nothing happened. He's not the type to coddle a baby, though he looked after his kids.

But the river was actually designed to keep its victims alive so that they could suffer forever

Hades' creepy smile made Hephaestus cry, once again. Hera pressed Hephaestus against her chest, saying "Mummy will protect you." In his ears.

—hooray! Many damned souls had to swim through it for all eternity, or be stuck in the fiery water up to their necks.

"Its not something to cheer!" Hazel pointed out to somewhat amused Nico.

"Drop it Hazel! Its just Percy!" Nico reminded.

According to some legends, the Phlegethon could eventually burn away your sins and let you go free if you were really, really sorry for the things you'd done.

"Really?" Jason asked sarcastically.

If you want to test that theory, go ahead and jump in.

"Thanks, but no thanks." Piper said.

Me, I think I'll pass.

"Good choice." Annabeth said.

River number three, the Acheron, was the River of Pain. If you guessed it was painful, you win a cookie!

"I guessed it! Were was mine?" Grover demanded.

Hestia send him a chocolate cookie with an amused smile.

The Acheron started in the mortal world, near a temple of the dead in Epirus. Maybe that's why ghosts were drawn to it and filled the river with their own pain and suffering.

"I'm the priest of temple. You can drop by anytime." Nico said.

"You were drawn to temple?" Frank asked.

"No, I'm the ghost king. Duh?" Nico rolled his eyes.

The Acheron meandered along until it plunged underground and tumbled into Erebos. There it widened into a dark, steamy, swampy expanse that caused pain to anyone unlucky enough to touch its waters or even hearits current.

"Pain causes gains." Ares quoted. Apparently he had found his dream home on a bank of the river.

After a while, the Acheron split into two smaller rivers—the Cocytus and the Styx—that flowed in opposite directions until they both spilled into Tartarus.

"Look the bright side. With these details, we can make a boat service between underworld and Tartarus, and earn our own pocket money. The monsters must swear on styx that they won't kill or maim anyone before get to the boat." Leo pointed out.

"Perhaps-" Hades sunk into a long thought. "I will inform Charon to recruit you in afterlife. I'm not paying any sallary, but you must give me two drachmas of every five you collect from monsters. You will also be given your own uniforms and a boat. Deal?" Hades asked.

Nobody said 'deal'.

River number four was my least personal favorite: the Lethe, River of Forgetfulness.

Percy, Jason and Annabeth shivered.

(I've had some bad experiences with amnesia. Long story.)

"Don't ask." Percy mumbled.

Anyway, the Lethe looked harmless.

"Looks can decieve!" Aphrodite teased.

In most places, it was a gentle span of milky-white water that rolled over a shallow bed of stones, softly gurgling in a way that made your eyes feel heavy. You would think you could wade across this river, no problem.

"I'm going to Guinness book!" Percy said. "I swam across it not losing any memory!" Percy puffed his chest.

"Arrogance of males can't be cure." Artemis sighed.

Hephaestus giggled loudly as Hera tickled his tummy. He was already two.

"Wanna pway!" He slid from his mom, and gave a grin at Ares. "Up! Botha! Up!"

Ares rolled his eyes, then took the child up. He gave him a toy hammer. Hephaestus waved it with glee.

My advice? Don't.

"Good advice." Athena said.

A single drop of Lethe water would wipe your short-term memory.

"We were afraid you would loose every single memory of your life time forever when Lethe fell upon you." Thalia said.

Artemis gave a look like, 'Do you care for a man?'

You wouldn't remember anything that happened in the last week.

"Its a blessing sometimes." Apollo grinned to Hermes.

Take a full drink, or wade into those waters, and your mind would be completely erased. You wouldn't remember your own name, or where you came from, or even that the New York Yankees are obviously better than the Boston Red Sox.

"Boston Red Sox anyday!" Leo said.

I know—terrifying, right?

"Yeah, I have fallen sleep, for several months because of dream god." Grover said. "I can understand."

For some spirits of the dead, however, the Lethe was actually a blessing.

Nico sighed. Bianca went for a second life.

Crowds of ghosts were always gathered at the banks, drinking from the river so that they could forget their former lives, because you can't miss what you don't remember.

"Are you telling from experience, Percy?" Frank asked.

Occasionally spirits were even allowed to reincarnate—to be reborn in the mortal world for another life. If you took that chance, you had to drink from the Lethe first so that you wouldn't remember your old life. Because, seriously—

"Siriusly?" Nico asked.

who would want to go through twelve boring years of school again if you remembered doing it before?

"I would want that." Jason said. "It would be an advantage."

Poppies grew all along the banks of the Lethe, which is why poppy juice has the power to put people to sleep and dull their pain.

"Business is booming. We can make drugs from those Poppies, give some of fortune we earn to Hades, then keep the rest to us." Leo said.

(We call that opium, children. And don't do drugs, because DRUGS ARE BAD.

"Oh joy!" Dionysus drawled.

Okay, I had to put that in there.)

"Because the book is for kids?" Apollo guessed.

At one point, the Lethe curved around the entrance of a dark cave where the god Hypnos lived—the god of sleep. What was it like inside?

Zeus shuddered, remembering his little fued with god of sleep. He slept through few days.

No one has ever described it, probably because anyone stupid enough to go in fell asleep and never came out again.

"Their cabin makes us sleepy too." Demigods and the Satyr complained.

The fifth river of the Underworld was the Styx, the River of Hate. It was definitely the most famous river, but the name alone sort of dampened any chance for tourism.

"Nothing wrong with name Styx!" Hades said.

"That's because you're living in underworld." Hermes reminded.

"Hey, kids, we're going to the River of Hate for spring break!" "Yay!"

Hephaestus giggled. "Sticks! Sticks!"

The Styx flowed through the deepest, darkest parts of the Underworld. Some legends claimed it was created by the water Titan, Tethys, and was fed by salty springs from the bottom of the ocean.

"Daughter of Oceanus and Tethys. Her support was great to the final battle." Poseidon said.

The Styx circled Erebos like a moat, so you pretty much had to cross it to get into the Underworld. (Some stories say the Acheron was the river you had to cross, but since the Styx was a branch of the Acheron, I guess both versions are correct.)

"I wonder how to cross river without Charon." Hazel said.

The current was dark and sluggish, always shrouded in foul-smelling mist, and the water was corrosive to mortal flesh. Mix sulfuric acid with sewage and a splash of liquid hatred, and you've got the Styx.

"I have a lab. Lets do it." Leo said.

So you're wondering: Why would anybody want to get into the Underworld? I don't know. But ever since humans were created, whenever they died, their souls just sort of instinctively drifted down to Erebos, like lemmings jumping off a cliff, or tourists flocking to Times Square.

"Nice example." Hermes said.

You could tell them all you wanted that it was a stupid idea, but they just kept doing it.

"Its their nature." Aphrodite pointed out.

The problem was, the souls had no reliable way to cross the River Styx.

"Unfortunately, that job has already fulfilled." Leo said.

A few managed to swim it. Others tried, only to dissolve in the water.

"Like Voldemort in movies?" Nico asked.

Many just wandered along the mortal side of the river, wailing and pointing at the other side like, I wanna go that way!

"Humans and their souls are observant as ever." Athena said.

Finally, one industrious daimon

"What's a daimon?" Frank asked.

named Charon decided to go into business.

"Noooo! My business!" Leo cried.

Hephaestus giggled at Leo. Then soon, he was in Leo's arms.

"Dad, this is uncomfortable." Leo said, ruffling his hair.

What's a daimon? It's not a devil-type demon with a pitchfork and a tail and red skin. Daimons were immortal spirits, kind of like lesser gods. Some looked like monsters or mortals. Some were good. Some were bad. Some just kind of hung around.

"Charon is the type to just hang around." Annabeth said.

This dude Charon was a son of Nyx, the goddess of night.

"And Erebos." Hades said.

Charon could take different forms, but most of the time he appeared as an ugly old man in tattered robes, with a greasy beard and a cone shaped hat.

"To look more intimidated." Hades said.

If it was me and I could change shape, I would walk around looking like Brad Pitt;

"Probably the ghosts would freak out seeing a Brad Pitt wannabe." Dionysus guessed.

but I guess Charon didn't care about impressing the ghosts.

"Ping. A new quest: impress the ghosts." Athena said. Others gave her looks. "What? I was reading a fanfictions where Perseus' life is a game."

Percy groaned. Almost every gaming fanfictions were based on Pertemis, and unlike most of writers think, he valued his life. He doesn't have a death wish.

At any rate, one day Charon realized that all these mortal souls were clamoring to get to Erebos,

"How to build a raft!" Nico said.

so Charon built himself a boat and started ferrying people across.

"I don't take it the boat service free." Jason said.

Not for free, of course. He accepted gold, silver, and most major credit cards.

"Like Lotus cash cards. Infinity!" Percy said.

"You guys have an infinity valued cash cards? Sweet!" Leo cried. "You are my new best friend!" Percy and Leo fist bumped.

"Welcome to the dark side, then." Percy said.

"What am I? Chopped liver?" Jason asked.

Hephaestus, who sat on the floor giggled and clapped with his little palms. "Dada! I made!" He gave Leo a tiny sword, which he has created from the metal piece he managed to steal from Hera's throne.

"Its cool buddy!" Leo ruffled the kid's hair.

"Dada! Dada!" Hephaestus giggled with glee.

"Welll, this is going to be a little weird for a while." Leo said to Zeus, who was giving him evil eyes.

Since the Underworld had no regulations, Charon just charged whatever he wanted to.

"So he was like...the most ancient black marketeer?" Frank asked.

If he liked you,

"He quite liked us." Percy bragged.

he might let you across for a couple of coins. If he didn't like you, he'd demand a fortune. If you were unlucky enough to be buried without any money—

"Note to self: When you're about to die, swallow a golden Drachma. You're going to die anyway, so better get ready for your underworldy life." Hermes said.

oh, well! You'd have to wander around on the mortal side of the Styx forever. Some of the dead even drifted back to the mortal world to haunt the living as ghosts.

"Ol' Sisyphus would have loved that." Nico said.

Even if you got across the Styx, you'd find Erebos in complete chaos.

"Where did you get that idea? Erebos iin Chaos? Erebos still exists! It haven't faded!" Hades said.

"Read along. You will understand!" Percy said.

The ghosts were supposed to divide into different groups according to how good they'd been in their lives.

"Good, bad, mixed." Frank said.

If they were real scum suckers, they went to the Fields of Punishment to enjoy special torture for eternity.

"Oh they do. I have specials for these seven demigods!" Hades drawled gleefully.

If they were good, they went to Elysium, which was like Paradise, Las Vegas, and Disneyland rolled into one.

"Do they have mickey mouse in there, Nico? I haven't visited Elysium." Piper asked.

"They do." Nico said.

If the spirits hadn't been particularly good or bad in life but had just sort of existed

"Most of the people." Annabeth whispered.

(which was most people),

"I'm correct!" Annabeth firmly stated to a smirking Thalia.

they were forced to wander forever in the Fields of Asphodel, which wasn't a horrible place

Hazel narrowed her eyes at Percy. She was in there and felt whole emptyness of the Asphodel fields.

—just incredibly, mind-numbingly boring.

"Kinda. But its empty, to float here and there-" Hazel shuddered.

Frank comforted Hazel with a hug and a chaste kiss on lips. Percy closed the eyes of Hephaestus before he would see anything.

"Wha?" Hephaestus asked, as Percy opened his eyes.

"A little kid like you shouldn't see things like that." Percy said.

That's how spirits got sorted, in theory.

"Dad, how about throwing that wretched council away and putting a sorting hat to sort them?" Nico asked.

"Actually, that's not a bad idea. I despise that Minos. Greedy bastard!" Hades slammed his fist on the handle of throne.

"Bast-ar!" Hephaestus giggled.

"Stop cussing Hades! You're being bad influence for baby Hephy!" Aphrodite firmly said, taking a flying Hephaestus into her hands. Then she put him on the ground, near her throne and gave him a lot of pieces of metals, which Hephaestus immediately fell in love with.

"But Rhadamanthus and Aeacus aren't that bad." Hazel pointed out.

Unfortunately, before Hades took over, nobody was policing the Underworld.

"Erebos was there, but he fed up already and went to sleep." Hades said.

It was kind of like a school day when all your teachers are sick and you have nothing but subs who don't know the rules,

Athena shook her head in disapproval.

so naturally the kids take total advantage.

"It always happens." Annabeth said.

Doomed souls from Punishment sneaked into Asphodel and no one stopped them. The spirits from Asphodel crashed the party in Elysium. And some really dumb but noble spirits bound for Elysium took a wrong turn, ended up in Punishment, and either couldn't get out or were too nice to complain about it.

"A massive mess of ghosts." Apollo said.

To make matter worse, even the spirits who went where they were supposed to go didn't always deserve to be there, because before Hades took over, you were judged for the afterlife while you were still alive.

"How did that system work?" Leo asked.

How did that system work?

"I'm as intelligent as Percy!" Leo cheered.

I have no idea. Apparently a panel of three living judges interviewed you right before you died and decided if you deserved the Fields of Punishment, Elysium, or Asphodel.

"Seems no difference than now." Artemis narrowed her eyes.

"Those six maidens got into Elysium." Hades said calmly.

Don't ask me how the judges knew you were about to die. Maybe they guessed. Maybe the gods told them. Maybe the judges just yelled at random people, "Hey, you! Get over here! It's your turn to croak!"

"Pollusion at the best." Frank stated.

Anyway, the judges listened to your testimony and decided your eternal fate. Guess what happened.

"No, I'm too tired for guessing Penny Jefferson. What happened?" Dionysus asked.

People lied. They bribed the judges. They showed up in their best clothes, smiled and flattered and acted nice so the judges would think they were nice.

Hermes flashed a grin. Finally some people he can get along!

They brought in witnesses to say, "Oh, yeah. This guy lived a totally awesome life. He hardly ever tortured anybody." Stuff like that.

"Probably Minos got a pass like that." Percy muttered to Nico, who confirmed it by a nod.

"His army vouched for him. I'm making a petition against him though." Nico whispered back.

"Those are useless as always. You have watched Asterix right?" Percy asked. Nico gave a brief nod.

"You're talking about place that sends you mind? The massage of it was how corrupted a government can be?"

"You got it. How about kidnapping Minos?" Percy asked.

Nco widened his eyes in disbelief. "What can possibly contain a ghost?" Nico asked.

"I know a one." Percy said eyeing Hestia. "Pythos of Pandora."

Nico remembered the Pythos from Percy's story telling. "Hestia wouldn't give it to you." He said.

"I know. I have a better idea." Percy said. "How about recruiting Leo to make a copy?" He whispered.

"I have a plan in mind." Nico said, his eyes gleaming with madness.

A lot of evil people managed to charm their way into Elysium, and a lot of good people who didn't kiss up to the judges landed in the Fields of Punishment.

"And that's the things happen in real world within the circumstances ofcourse." Ares said.

You get the idea…the Underworld was a mess. When Hades took over, he looked around and said, "Nuh-uh! This ain't gonna work!"

"Hades sounds like a good guy now." Demeter said.

So he went to Olympus and explained the situation to Zeus. Having to get Zeus's approval for what he planned to do kind of rankled Hades,

"With his weird suggestions, yes." Poseidon said.

but he knew he'd need to get the Big Guy's thumbs-up for any major changes to the afterlife, especially since humans were involved.

"Big guy's thumbs up needs for everything." Hermes whined.

The gods considered humans shared property.

"Property? What are we? Some bunch of brownies?" Demigods asked.

Zeus listened and frowned thoughtfully. "So what do you propose?"

"Well," Hades said, "we could keep the panel of three judges, but—"

"The audience could vote!" Zeus guessed. "At the end of each season, the winning mortal could be crowned Elysian Idol!"

"This is why I point out constantly that Zeus could be the god of drama." Poseidon said.

"Well, I got it from my father." Dionysus said.

"Psst. Leo!" Nico whispered.

"What?" Leo asked.

"We have a challange for you. Percy and I made a bet. Percy thinks you can't invent a pythos like pythos of Pandora to contain ghosts, while I bet 10 drachmas on you. Can you help me prove he's wrong?"

"Only if you and I get to share the reward." Leo grinned.

"Deal." Nico said.

Leo got to work, pulling out some tools and spheres of Archimedes out.

"Uh, no," Hades said. "Actually, I was thinking the judges could be spirits of the dead rather than living people. And each mortal soul would only be judged once it enters the Underworld."

"So…not a competition format? Hmm, too bad."

"What's with Zeus?" Apollo wondered.

"He's just being his dramatic self." Poseidon said.

Hades tried to keep his cool. "See, if the judges are spirits under my control, they'll be impossible to influence.

"I gave them some independence as the time passed." Hades said briefly. "Don't ask, or I will have another creative punishment for you." He said to Percy.

The souls who come before the court will be stripped of everything but their essence. They can't rely on good looks or fancy clothes. They can't bribe the judges or call character witnesses. All their good and bad deeds will be laid bare, because the judges can literally see right through them. Lying will be impossible."

"Hades totally rules!" The Olympian council (minus Zeus, who smiled proudly), demigods (minus Leo who was making the Pythos), and Grover (who was freaking out due to underworldy stuff and was silent) cheered.

"I like it," Zeus said. "Who will you pick for judges?"

"Minos, Rhadamanthys, Aeacus." Nico recited.

"Probably three deceased mortals who were kings in the upper world," Hades said. "Kings are used to passing judgment."

"There are good kings and bad kings." Athena pointed out.

"Good," Zeus agreed. "As long as the kings are all my sons. Agreed?"

"Big guy's sons still get the treatment." Poseidon pouted.

Hades gritted his teeth. He didn't like his brother getting involved in everything, but since almost every Greek king was a son of Zeus, there would still be plenty of kings to choose from.

"Why couldn't you suggest one of mine; most of my sons were philosophers in ancient Greece." Apollo said.

"Agreed."

Zeus nodded. "How will you make sure the judgments are enforced, and the souls go where they're supposed to?"

Hades smiled coldly. "Oh, don't worry. I've got that covered."

"This is going to be rough." Piper said.

When he got back to Erebos, Hades appointed three former kings, all demigod sons of Zeus, as his dead-celebrity judges: Minos, Aiakos, and Rhadamanthys.

Then he rounded up the three Furies—

" Tisiphone, Megaera and your personal favourite, Alecto." Nico said to Percy.

Percy shuddered, remembering lil ol' Mrs. Dodds.

"Alecto seems to have some sort of crush on you." Nico said uneasily.

Percy had to shout. "Me? Alecto? Alecto having a crush on me? Are you absurd?"

"No, I'm Nico Di Angelo." Nico said.

"Wow, you managed to charm another girl!" Annabeth said sarcastically.

"Perlecto! Soon we would see little water furies. Perhaps some play mates to little Hephaestus?"

Hephaestus, who was four now, asked, " Play mates?" curiously. He was hammering some unshaped lump of metal continously.

"Not in thousand years!" Percy swore.

"At thousand year and one?" Piper teased.

"No no , scratch that! Not for ever!" Percy swore again.

those spirits of vengeance who had been formed from the blood of Ouranos ages before. Hades hired them to be his enforcers, which was a good call,

"Why I would wonder?" Thalia's voice dripping with sarcasm. While she didn't remember much of her 'death', she fought a monster army sent by Hades to death. She loathed furies.

since nobody wanted to cross a demonic grandmother with bad breath and a whip.

"You got a point there." Jason said.

Like most daimons, the Furies could take different shapes, but usually they appeared as ugly old ladies with long stringy hair, black tattered robes, and giant bat wings.

Hephaestus ran towards his mother and cuddled to her. Those beasts are scary.

Their fiery whips could cause excruciating pain to the living or the dead, and they could fly invisibly, so you never knew when they would swoop down on you.

"Alecto told herself of her interest in you, Percy Jackson." Hades said with an amused grin, which alarmed Percy. "I'm in doubt of permitting her of grab you in the bedroom, for some cuddle sessions, as you put it."

Percy and Annabeth gagged. "I'll give you offerings too if you stop her from doing that. I swear on river Styx." Percy said.

Thunder rumbled. Hades' lips twitched. "Granted." He drawled.

Hades used them to keep the dead in line. Sometimes he let the Furies go nuts and design new tortures for the worst of the doomed souls. He could even send the Furies after living people if they committed a truly horrific crime

"Being born?" Thalia suggested.

—like killing a family member, desecrating a temple,

Hera nodded approvingly. Hephaestus looked calm, on his mom's lap.

or singing Journey songs on karaoke night.

"Is that even a crime?" Apollo asked.

"Yes!" Percy said.

"I agree Perseus on this matter." Artemis said. "And don't dare anyone who shout Pertemis outloud!" Artemis deadpanned.

Hades's next Underworld improvement: he made it a lot easier for spirits of the dead to find their way to Erebos. He convinced Hermes, the messenger god, to keep a lookout for lost souls on the mortal side of the Styx.

"Which keeps me busier, but it has its own rewards." Hermes said, looking at his pouch, full of coins.

If Hermes saw any ghosts who looked confused, he would steer them in the right direction and provide them with a handy full-color map,

"Well, I can't let the poor suckers get lost, can't I?" Hermes grinned.

compliments of the Underworld Chamber of Commerce.

Once the souls of the dead made it to the River Styx, the daimon Charon would ferry them across for a standard fee of one silver coin. Hades had convinced him

"How did Hades managed to convince Charon of all people? He gets an incoming already." Piper pointed out.

(read: threatened him)

"Noted." Frank simply said.

to charge everyone the same price.

"He has equality." Hestia praised.

Hades also spread the word to the mortals up above that they'd better take their funeral rites seriously, or they wouldn't be allowed into the Underworld.

"Justice for Charon too." Athena said.

When you died, your family was supposed to make offerings to the gods. They had to give you a decent burial and place a coin under your tongue so you could pay Charon. If you didn't have a coin, you'd end up haunting the mortal world as a ghost forever, which was both pointless and boring.

"So, those Hogwarts ghosts haven't had a coin!" Nico said.

How did Hades spread the word among the mortals? He had this army of black-winged nasties called oneiroi, or dream daimons, who visited mortals while they slept, delivering visions or nightmares.

Demigods shuddered. They had a life, plentiful of Nightmares.

Ever had one of those dreams where you wake up startled because you felt like you were falling?

All the demigods nodded.

That's the oneiroi messing with you. They probably picked you up and dropped you, just to be mean.

"Wow , they're showing appreciation in such cute ways." Piper sarcastically said.

Next time it happens, smack your fist on the floor and yell, "Hades, tell your stupid daimons to knock it off!"

"No, knowing dad, he would send a bunch after that." Nico warned. Hades gave a cryptic smile.

Another upgrade Hades made: he tightened security at the gates of Erebos.

" Cerberus." Annabeth said, remembering their play session.

He went down to the Tartarus Humane Society

"Is that a society you created, Jackson?" Hades asked.

Percy cheekily grinned.

and adopted the biggest, baddest dog you can imagine—a monster named Cerberus, who was sort of a cross between a pit bull, a rottweiler, and a rabid woolly mammoth.

"And a son of Echidna and Typhon." Zeus reminded.

Cerberus had three heads, so if you were a mortal hero trying to sneak into Hades's realm, or a dead person trying to sneak out, you had three times the chance of getting spotted and devoured. In addition to razor-sharp fangs and claws, Cerberus supposedly had a mane made out of snakes and a serpent for a tail.

"Supposedly? You met Cerberus!" Jason said.

"We were twelve and scared, dude." Percy reminded.

I can't vouch for that. I only met Cerberus once. It was dark, and I was mostly focused on not whimpering or wetting my pants.

"Its a way of bravery." Athena said.

Anyway, once the departed spirits got inside the gates, they were sorted out by the three dead celebrity judges and ushered to their proper places. Like I said earlier, most people hadn't really done much with their lives, good or bad, so they ended up in the Fields of Asphodel. There they existed as wispy shadows that could only chitter like bats and float around aimlessly, trying to remember who they were and what they were doing—

Hazel shuddered.

sort of like teachers during first period, before they've had enough coffee.

"Teachers except me." Athena proclaimed.

If you had led a good life, you went to Elysium, which was about as nice as you could get in the dark Underworld. You got a mansion of your own, free food and drinks, and pretty much five-star service for whatever you needed. You could hang out with the other lucky good people and chill for eternity.

"Sounds great! Plans changed." Leo said dropping tools. "You will get me a free pass to Elysium if I'm to make this pythos.

"How about a lotus cash card instead?" Nico asked, taking one from his pocket. He had bunch of them, from hotel.

"Great. I can achieve Elysium anyway. Deal." Leo is back to work.

If Elysium got boring, you could choose to drink from the River Lethe and be reborn in a new mortal life.

"Elysium is never boring." Nico said. "Cause we have Mickey mouse!"

A few souls were so good, they managed to live three virtuous lives in a row. If that was you, you could retire to the Isles of the Blest, which were Caribbean-type private islands in a lake in the middle of Elysium. Not many people were that lucky or that virtuous.

"I have a question though. How one could possibly know if he or she spent three lives good?" Grover asked.

"A good question, satyr. Grover is it?" Athena asked. Grover nodded. "I was going to ask Hades the same question."

Hades cleared his throat. "One of my powers. I know how many times a soul incarnate as a person, and details of all births. For an example, Perseus Jackson and Annabeth Chase." He grinned wickedly.

Percy and Annabeth braised themselves.

"This is your third life time. Both of you. Jackson was the original Perseus at first time, while Chase was Andromeda." Crowd surprised, even Percy. Who knew his namesake was himself?

"In second time, Chase was Odysseus, while Persues was Penelope." For the further surprise, Hades said.

After a long silence, Aphrodite spoke. "It seems Percabeth is strong from the basement. No wonder Percy jumped to Tartarus because of Annabeth without even a second thought! You're destined to each others by Eros!" Aphrodite cooed.

"By the way, what is this lifetime of mine?" Leo asked.

"Second. You were born as the nephew to famous inventor Daedalus. Died from a huge fall, involving your uncle. You're Perdix!" Hades drawled.

Athena gasped. "You were my legacy!"

Leo gave an awkward look at Athena, gaping half.

"What about others?" Poseidon asked.

Hades looked bored, so he snapped his fingers and a list appeared.

Grover Underwood- no soul.

Jason Grace- 2nd life- Paris of Troy

Piper Mclean- 2nd life- Helen of Troy

Hazel Levesque- 1st life

Frank Zhang- 1st life

Nico Di Angelo- 3rd life, Orpheus, Diomedes

Thalia Grace-3rd life- Eurydice, Hector of Troy.

"Wow death breath, you made whole underworld sleep for me in first life, then in second we fought each other." Thalia breathed.

"And to find out I and Piper were Paris and Helen. How did we even achieve Elysium?" Jason asked.

Aphrodite winked to Piper.

It was sort of like winning the Good Person Powerball Lottery.

"But you have to earn it. Not based on luck." Annabeth reminded.

If you'd lived an evil life, you got the special naughty treatment—boiling in oil forever, having your skin flayed, getting chased by hungry demons over a field of broken glass, or sliding down a giant razor blade into a pool of lemon juice. You know, the usual.

Ares grinned widely and Hades gave a thin smile, yet his eyes were gleaming either like a genius' eyes or a madman's.

Most of the punishments weren't very creative,

"I'm offended, Jackson!" Hades said coldly.

but if you managed to really annoy Hades, he could always come up with new and interesting ways to torture your immortal soul.

"Yeah, that's his natural talent." Poseidon said.

A couple of examples?

Tantalus.

Percy, Annabeth, Grover groaned. They had to put up with this guy (fortunately, not that longer) after Chiron's resigning. (Temporary)

That dude was messed up. He was a Greek king—a son of Zeus,

"Another worthless son of mine." Zeus drawled.

no surprise—who got invited to share ambrosia and nectar on Mount Olympus with the gods. Big honor, right? But Tantalus got greedy.

"But he was a demigod, which means he can have some nectar with him?" Grover asked uneasily.

"That was not allowed in those ages, Grover." Athena said.

"Wow," he said after dinner, patting his belly. "That's good stuff! Could I get a doggie bag to share with my friends back home?"

"Nope. Not a one bit." Apollo said.

"Holy me!" Zeus swore.

"I just didn't swore like that!" Zeus boomed.

"Absolutely not! This ambrosia and nectar is rare and magical stuff. You can't go sharing it with just anybody."

"Oh…" Tantalus forced a smile. "Of course. I see how it is. Well…next time, dinner at my place, huh?"

"He was a perfect snake. Pathetic male!" Artemis said.

Tantalus should've let it go. He should've remembered what happened to Prometheus when he tried to take stuff from the gods and share it with mortals. But Tantalus was angry. He felt insulted.

"Is that even an insult?" Poseidon asked.

The gods didn't trust him. They didn't want him to become famous as the mortal who brought ambrosia to earth.

"Nice way to become famous, don't you think?" Leo said, cutting some leather.

The more he thought about it, the angrier he got. He invited the gods to a feast at his palace, but to get back at them, he decided he would serve them the most insulting meal he could think of.

"Another one with a death wish." Frank said.

He just wasn't sure what.

"Some Happy Meals would have been better." Percy teased Nico.

"Or blue cookies." Nico retorted. No one insults Happy Meals and gets away with that.

He was standing in his kitchen, staring at the empty cooking pots, when his son Pelops walked in.

"He's giving Tantalus a great idea, and I'm sick of it." Jason said.

"What's for dinner, Dad?" Pelops asked.

Aphrodite made a noise. Artemis glared. Hestia squeaked. Athena braced herself. Demeter gasped. Hera looked indifferent, yet holding a puzzled Hephaestus and his toy hammer on her lap tightly.

Tantalus had never liked his son. I don't know why. Maybe Tantalus knew the kid would take over his kingdom someday. Greek kings were always paranoid about stuff like that. Anyway, Tantalus gave his son an evil smile and pulled out a butcher's knife. "Funny you should ask."

"He had a dramatic sense of humor. Tantalus was an entertainment to eyes." Dionysus said. He had fun, making Tantalus try to eat something.

That night, the gods gathered at Tantalus's palace for dinner and got served a pot of yummy stew.

Gods and goddesses gagged.

"What is this meat?" Demeter said, taking the first bite. "Tastes like chicken."

"I take it back." Demeter said.

Tantalus had meant to wait until all the gods had eaten, but he couldn't hold in the crazy giggles.

"Oh…just a family recipe."

"His sense of humour is horrifyingly evil." Jason said.

Zeus frowned and put down his spoon. "Tantalus…what have you done?"

"If he had given very spicy food, I could have excused him, saying it was just a prank." Hermes said, horrified expression on his face.

Hera pushed her bowl away. "And where is your son Pelops?"

"What happened to that kid, mom?" Hephaestus asked. Hera said nothing in return.

"Actually," Tantalus said, "that's him in the stew. Surprise, you idiots! Ha, ha! Ha, ha!"

Hera held Hephaestus tightly, as he sobbed.

"Obviously, Tantalus was the idiot who messed up with forces way beyond him." Demeter said angrily.

Honestly, I don't know what he was expecting. Did he think the gods would chuckle and slap him on the back?

"I'm surprised he has not totured slowly before death." Athena said.

"That's my job." Hades said shortly.

Oh, Tantalus, you old kidder. Good one!

"Bad one!" Grover shook his head.

The Olympians were horrified. After all, they still had post-traumatic stress from getting swallowed by their father, Kronos.

"I healed them." Apollo said.

Zeus pulled out a lightning bolt, blasted Tantalus to ashes, and turned the king's soul over to Hades.

A death shouldn't be cheered. Zeus killing a mortal shouldn't be cheered either. But Gods, Demigods and Satyr cheered Zeus, who held up his hand lazily.

"Make a special punishment for this one," Zeus said. "Something involving food, please."

"Hades would gladly do that." Hera said.

Hades was happy to oblige. He sank Tantalus up to his waist in a pool of fresh water, his feet stuck in the riverbed like in cement. Over Tantalus's head hung the branches of a magical tree that grew all sorts of luscious fragrant fruits.

Tantalus's punishment was just to stand there forever.

"Uncle Hades looks creative." Hephaestus, who has stopped sobbing said.

Well, he thought, this isn't so bad.

"Things aren't like they appear." Leo said hammering madly.

"By the way Leo, what are you making?" Annabeth asked.

"Oh just nothing. Something for Neeks." Leo said.

Then he got hungry. He tried to grab an apple, but the branches rose just out of reach. He tried for a mango. No luck. He tried jumping, but his feet were stuck.

"Perhaps I can learn something from you." Artemis said. "I'm tired of turning boys into jackelopes and letting my wolves and hunters hunt them. I need to think more colourful punishments."

He tried pretending to be asleep so he could launch a surprise attack on the peaches. Again, no luck.

"That curse doesn't work that way." Athena said. "Someone has to put food in his mouth. He himself can't reach food."

Each time, Tantalus was sure he would score a piece of fruit, but he never could. When he got thirsty, he scooped up water, but by the time his hands reached his mouth, the water had magically evaporated, and his hands were completely dry. He bent down, hoping to gulp straight from the lake, but the entire surface of the water shrank away from him. No matter what he tried, he couldn't get a single drop. He just got hungrier and thirstier, even though food and water were so close—tantalizingly close, which is a word that comes from his name.

"You're totally a genius, man!" Poseidon said.

Next time you want something really badly but it's just out of reach, you've been tantalized.

"You just granted another word for language. Congratulations!" Athena said.

What's the moral of the story? I dunno.

"Perhaps don't chop up your son and offer him as a food for your godly guests?" Apollo asked.

Maybe: Don't chop up your son and feed him to your dinner guests. Seems kind of obvious to me, but whatever.

Another guy who got a special punishment was Sisyphus.

"Old Sissy!" Nico grinned.

With a name like Sissy-Fuss you have to figure the guy had issues,

"Sissy-coward, fuss-unnecessary worrying. Sissy-Fuss- unnecessarily afraid of death." Athena said.

but at least he didn't make his kids into stew. Sisyphus's problem was that he didn't want to die.

"Also Voldemort's. Sisyphus could have try making a horcrux." Nico said.

I can relate to that. I wake up every morning and think: You know what would be good today? Not dying.

"Sisyphus took things to next level." Hades drawled.

But Sisyphus took things too far. One day, Death showed up at his house.

"Thanatos?" Apollo guessed.

And by Death, I mean Thanatos, the god of death, the Grim Reaperino, who was one of Hades's main lieutenants.

"He's too beautiful for the Grim Reaper." Artemis blurted. Crowd gave her very odd looks. "What? I'm stating obvious. He may be a typical male, but he doesn't look like how a Grim Reaper should look."

"Hmm. Thanatemis?" Aphrodite quirked her eyebrows.

"Not for ever!" Artemis deadpanned, closing the matter.

Sisyphus opened the door and found a big guy with black feathery wings looming over him.

"Hi. I'm your least favourite person." Frank mimicked Thanatos.

"Good afternoon." Thanatos consulted his notepad. "I have a delivery for Sisyphus—one painful death, requires a signature. Are you Sisyphus?"

"No, I'm his neighbour, Jack!" Piper said sarcastically.

Sisyphus tried to hide his panic. "Um…Why, yes! Come in! Just let me get a pen."

"Or a weapon." Hermes said. The bastard was too sneaky and cunning.

As Thanatos ducked under the low doorway, Sisyphus grabbed the nearest heavy object he could find—a stone pestle he used to grind his flour—and smacked the god of death over the head.

"Sisyphus! The first ever mortal to defeat the death!" Nico announced.

Thanatos passed out cold. Sisyphus tied him up, gagged him, and stuffed him under the bed. When Mrs. Sisyphus came home, she was like, "Why is there a giant black wing sticking out from under the bed?"

Crowd broke into mad laughter.

Sisyphus explained what had happened. His wife wasn't pleased.

"With good reasons." Hades said. "From what I heard, man deserved fields of Asphodel first."

"This is going to get us both into trouble," she said. "You should have just died."

"I love you, too," Sisyphus muttered. "It'll be fine. You'll see."

"No, it won't be." Demeter assured.

It wasn't fine. Without Thanatos on the job, people stopped dying. At first, nobody objected. If you were supposed to die and you didn't, why would you complain?

"I guess I wouldn't," said Hephaestus, who looked six now. He was standing between his parents' thrones, writing things on a book.

Then a big battle happened between two Greek cities, and Ares, the god of war, got suspicious.

"It drove me mad." Ares said.

He hovered over the battlefield like he always did, ready for an exciting day of carnage.

"Ahh! Those days were the days!" Ares said.

"You're too- bloodlusty, big brother." Hephaestus said.

"What do I look like little champ? Hestia?" Ares asked.

When the two armies clashed, no soldiers fell. They just kept whaling on each other, hacking each other to bits. Things got messy, with plenty of blood and gore, but no one died.

Ares was busy eating some hamburgers this time. These kind of scenes excited him. And he's the hero for once.

"Where's Death?" Ares screamed. "This is no fun without Death!"

"I agree too, nephew." Hades said.

He flew from the battlefield and started asking all around the world: "Excuse me, have you seen Death? Big guy with black feathery wings? Likes to reap souls?"

"You should have inserted some cuss words there, punk!" Ares said.

Finally somebody mentioned that they'd seen a guy like that heading toward old man Sisyphus's house.

"Here we go!" Apollo said.

Ares broke down Sisyphus's front door. He pushed the old dude aside and spotted Thanatos's left wing sticking out from under the bed. Ares pulled out the god of death, brushed off the dust bunnies, and cut his bonds. Then both gods glared at Sisyphus.

"You're so busted!" Grover said.

Sisyphus backed into the corner. "Um, look, guys, I can explain—"

"No need of explanations, thank you." Ares said, mouthful of Hamburgers.

BOOM!

Ares and Thanatos vaporized him with a double blast of godly wrath.

"No more Sissy!' Nico imitated a sobbing.

Once Sisyphus's soul found its way to the Underworld, Sisyphus somehow managed to get an audience with Hades himself.

"Old cunning coot!" Hades drawled.

The old man bowed before the god's throne. "Lord Hades, I know I did a bad thing. I'm ready to face my punishment. But my wife! She didn't do the proper funeral rites for me! How can I enjoy eternal damnation knowing that the missus didn't honor the gods with sacrifices as you have commanded? Please, just allow me to return to the world long enough to scold my wife. I'll come straight back."

"Like he ever would." Ares scoffed.

Hades frowned. Of course he was suspicious, but he'd always been under the impression that spirits couldn't lie.

Nico was reminded of Minos.

(He was wrong.)

"We learned it hard way from Minos." Percy said.

Also, Sisyphus's story filled him with outrage. Hades hated itwhen people didn't take funeral rites seriously. And sacrifices to the gods? Those were even more important!

Hades looked very angry.

"Fine," Hades said. "Go scold your wife, but don't take too long. When you get back, I'll have a special punishment ready for you."

"You should have sent one minion of yours after him." Zeus said.

"I can't wait!" Sisyphus said.

"He sounds like a lover boy." Aphrodite said.

So his spirit returned to the world. He found his vaporized remains and somehow got them back together into a regular body. You can imagine his wife's surprise when Sisyphus walked in the front door, alive as ever. "Honey, I'm home!"

Crowd bursted into laughter.

After his wife woke up from fainting, Sisyphus told her the story of how he cleverly escaped death yet again.

His wife was not amused. "You can't cheat Hades forever," she warned. "You're asking for trouble."

"She is right." Hades said.

"I've already been condemned to the Fields of Punishment," Sisyphus said. "What do I have to lose? Besides, Hades is busy. He sees thousands of souls every day. He won't even know I'm gone."

"Sisyphus' plan was genius." Athena admired.

For years, Sisyphus's plan actually worked. He kept a low profile. He stayed at home most of the time, and when he had to go out, he wore a fake beard.

"Actually he did." Hermes said.

Hades was busy. He forgot all about Sisyphus, until one day Thanatos happened to ask: "Hey, what'd you ever do to that creep who stuffed me under his bed?"

"Err. I kinda forgot him?" Piper reasoned.

"Oh…" Hades frowned. "Whoops."

This time, Hades sent the messenger god Hermes to look for Sisyphus. Hermes wore a helmet, so he couldn't get whacked over the head so easily.

"Prepared for everything, aren't we?" Apollo asked from Hermes. Hermes gave a devilish grin.

"I remember something about a helmet." Hephaestus said.

"Ahh. You created it bro. Soon you will remember everything. Well, when you're sixteen."

"I'm aging up fast, right?" Hephaestus asked.

"Of course." Apollo said. "You're seven and all grown up."

The messenger god dragged Sisyphus back to the Underworld and threw him at the foot of Hades's throne.

"That's rude." Hestia chided mischievously.

Hades smiled coldly. "Lie to me, will you? Oh, I have something very special for you!"

"No one lies to Hades and gets away with!" Hades said coldly.

"But I was and am no one." Annabeth said. Percy gave her a kiss.

"Exactly." He said.

He took Sisyphus to the middle of the Fields of Punishment, to a barren hill five hundred feet high with sides that sloped at forty-five degrees, just perfect for skateboarding. At the bottom of the hill sat a big round boulder the size of a compact car.

"We have been there." Nico said briefly, ignoring his daddy's glare.

"Here you are," Hades said. "As soon as you manage to push this rock to the top of that hill, you can go. Your punishment will be over."

"Its not gonna be that easy, right?" Hephaestus asked. Zeus shook his head.

Sisyphus sighed with relief. He'd been expecting much worse. Sure, the boulder looked heavy. Pushing it up the hill would suck, but at least it wouldn't be impossible.

"Thank you, Lord Hades," Sisyphus said. "You are merciful."

"He didn't know what he was into." Athena whispered secretively.

"Right." Hades's dark eyes glinted. "Merciful."

"Hades looks real badass. You're my new idol, uncle." Ares said.

The god disappeared in a cloud of gloom, and Sisyphus got to work. Unfortunately, he soon found out his job was impossible. Pushing the rock took every bit of his strength, and as soon as Sisyphus got close to the top of the hill, he lost control. No matter what he tried, the boulder would roll back to the bottom. Or it would run over him and then roll to the bottom.

Thalia shuddered. She remembered holding up that freaking boulder.

If Sisyphus stopped to rest, one of the Furies came along and whipped him until he got moving again. Sisyphus was doomed to roll his rock uphill for eternity, never reaching the top.

"Happily ever after!" Dionysus said.

Another happy ending! Ares, the god of war, got to watch people die again.

Ares grinned.

Mrs. Sisyphus got some peace and quiet. And Thanatos, the god of death, decided not to ring anyone's doorbell and require a signature anymore.

"Why does death need permission anyway?" Piper asked.

From then on, he just sneaked around invisibly and took his victims' souls without warning. So if you were planning on living forever by tying up the god of death and stuffing him under your bed, you're out of luck.

"Dully noted Percy."Jason said.

So that's how Hades got the Underworld organized. He built his dark palace on the edge of the Fields of Asphodel, and once he married Persephone, he more or less settled down and was about as happy as an Underworld god can be.

"Lay back and enjoy some sunshine, will yeah?" Poseidon asked.

He started raising a herd of black cattle so that he could have fresh steak and milk, and heappointed a daimon named Menoetes to look after the cows.

"Who knew? Hades like cow milk!" Apollo said dramatically.

Hades also planted an orchard of magical pomegranate trees to honor his wife.

Demeter nodded.

The Olympian gods rarely visited—except for Hermes, who had to deliver messages and souls—

Hermes raised his hand. "Present!" He grinned.

but if you happened to be in Hades's throne room on any given day, you might find Thanatos hanging out, or the Furies, or the three dead-celebrity judges.

"Partners in crime." Nico said.

The best deceased artists and musicians from Elysium were often summoned to the palace to entertain the king.

"That's why mortal artists and musicians I like die so quickly." Hades sayed evily.

" Uncle H seems possesive." Hephaestus said.

Were Persephone and Hades a happy couple?

"We are. We do lots of things." Hades eyes gleamed.

"Don't ask." Nico and Demeter said. "They're too noisy."

Hard to say. The old stories aren't even clear about whether they had any children.

"Makaria, goddess of blessed death and wife of Thanatos and Melinoe, goddess of ghosts." Athena said.

Apparently Persephone had a daughter named Melinoe, who was the daimon in charge of ghosts and nightmares, but Hades may or may not have been the father.

"I'm the father." Hades said coldly. "Zeus can't sire a child who has control over ghosts."

Some stories say the father was actually Zeus disguised as Hades, which gets us into a whole new level of gross.

"Perhaps humans enjoy grossness. I did no such things." Zeus claimed.

A few poems mention Makaria, the daughter of Hades and Persephone. She was the goddess of blessed peaceful deaths, as opposed to painful, terrible, horrifying deaths, but there aren't really any stories about her.

"She don't like attention. My favourite immortal child." Hades said. Demeter nodded, as well. Makaria was a good granddaughter.

At any rate, Hades wasn't always faithful to Persephone. He's a god. What did you expect?

"It gets lonely in underworld when she is absent." Hades said to Demeter.

One time Hades was visiting the Titan Oceanus at the bottom of the sea.

"What's he doing there?" Zeus frowned. "If you're going to-"

"Zeus damn it! I won't!" Hades yelled.

Hephaestus dropped his notebook.

"No need for yelling!" An angry Hephaestus scolded, leaning towards ground to grab the notebook.

What he was doing there, I have no idea. Maybe he was checking on the salty springs that fed the River Styx.

"Yeah. The taste wss awful." Hades said.

Anyway, while he was roaming around, he happened to meet a beautiful ocean nymph named Leuke, one of Oceanus's daughters. She was tall and pale and lovely, and apparently she made a big impression.

"Just the type of Hades." Poseidon said.

At the end of the visit, Hades abducted her and took her back to the Underworld.

"I love you in Hades' style!" Aphrodite said.

It was just a fling, a momentary madness, but you can guess how Persephone reacted when she found out her husband had brought a souvenir girl home with him.

"She seems to be so much jealous." Piper said. "Hades even kidnapped her."

"She goes or I go," Persephone snarled. "And don't just send her back to the ocean. She stole my husband! She must die!"

"I don't want a wife like that though. She should be understanding person." Hephaestus' eyes pointed towards Athena. "A wise and helpful person."

Athena looked at Hephaestus with some sort of.. interest? Hephaestus was eight, for now at least.

"Um…okay," Hades said. "I mean, yes! Of course, dear! What was I thinking?"

"Nice lie. Company with me was rubbing off of him." Hermes said.

Hades ran down to the Fields of Asphodel, where Leuke was waiting for him.

"Well?" Leuke demanded. "You abducted me and brought me here. What do you plan to do with me?"

"To drive you crazy with my bedroom skills?" Aphrodite suggested.

"Actually, it's not going to work out," Hades said. "My wife doesn't approve."

"What a shocker," Leuke muttered. "Fine. Take me home!"

"I can't," Hades said. "Persephone wants you dead."

"That wasn't right dad." Nico frowned.

Leuke turned even paler. "That—that isn't right! You stole me!"

"It's okay," Hades assured her. "I have an idea. Instead of killing you, I'll just change you into something—like a plant. Then you'll live forever, and I can always remember you."

"Its horrible!" Demeter said. "I should have taught Persephone better. You can't have everything in the world."

"That's a horrible idea!"

"Maybe a tree," Hades mused.

"No!"

"A tall, pale, white tree," Hades decided. "A tree as beautiful as you are."

"Poplars." Demeter said.

"I—"

POOF.

"Congrats. You're the first poplar tree." Dionysus said.

Leuke became the first poplar tree, and Hades hugged her trunk. "Thanks for understanding. I will always remember you."

"What a understanding couple!" Piper mused.

The poplar quickly multiplied, until the Fields of Asphodel were dotted with them—a little bit of beauty in the gloomy fields of Asphodel. The poplar became one of Hades's sacred trees, and tended to grow especially thick along the banks of the Underworld rivers, maybe because Leuke remembered that she had come from the sea and was trying to grow her way back there.

"Well, good luck with that!" Hephaestus said.

Good luck with that, Leuke.

"Glad we both can get along." Hephaestus said. "You're Percy right?"

Percy nodded and grinned.

After his failed romance with the poplar girl, Hades became depressed. One day he decided to take a long stroll along the River Cocytus, the River of Wailing, which is an odd place to walk if you're trying to cheer yourself up.

"Wailing can't cheer you up. But it can help clean yourself from sorrows." Aphrodite said.

Hades happened to see a lovely young woman in a pale-green dress sitting by the water. Her fragrance wafted toward him on the subterranean breeze—a sweet, subtle perfume unlike anything he'd ever smelled.

"Minthe." Nico whispered.

He walked over and stared at her in amazement. Hades tended to surprise people, being so dark and stealthy and all; so when the girl finally noticed him, she flinched in alarm.

"What do you want?" she demanded.

"She seems confident, Hades." Poseidon said.

"Uh…" Hades found it hard to think. The woman's eyes were pale green like her dress. "I'm Hades. You smell good. Who are you?"

"You smell good? That's lame." Apollo said.

The girl wrinkled her nose. "I'm Minthe, of course. Daughter of the River Cocytus."

"Cocytus? Cocytus had a daughter? With whom?" Jason asked.

Percy simply shrugged. "Dunno."

Hades frowned. "The Underworld rivers have naiads? I never knew that."

"Well, maybe we're not proud of it," Minthe muttered. "It's not easy being the nature spirit for a wailing river, you know. I'd much rather be in the upper world, where I could enjoy the sunlight and the fresh breeze."

"She is using him." Aphrodite frowned.

"I'll take you there," Hades blurted. "Just give me a kiss, and I'll take you to the upper world."

Minthe knit her eyebrows. "Why would you?"

"A nymph of Cocytus wouldn't know that much about love." Hephaestus said. He seemed too intelligent for his age. Speaking of his age, he was ten now.

"I love you," Hades said foolishly, but he didn't meet many beautiful women. Also, it was springtime. Persephone had gone to visit her mother in the mortal world, and Hades was lonely.

"Can't persephone remain in mortal world for the day, remain some time in underworld for night? That way, uncle Hades wouldn't feel that lonely, and Persephone would have a better husband." Hephaestus said.

"I was too possesive of my child when this argument came. I guess I'm ok with it now." Demeter said.

Hades cheered mentally, controlling himself uneasily. He liked this new and improved Hephaestus.

Minthe stood. She wasn't sure what to think of this dark god, but a trip to the upper world sounded good. She said, "All right."

"She's just using him, caring nothing for his emotions at all." Demeter said.

She kissed him. Hades put his arms around her, and together they dissolved into shadows.

They appeared on the side of a hill near the Greek town of Pylos. Minthe gasped when she saw the blue sky and the sun, the green hills marching on forever.

"Happily ever after? Guess not." Apollo said.

She smiled and threw her arms around Hades, and for about twenty seconds they were very much in love. Minthe's fragrance was intoxicating.

"That much short of time? What happened? Is she dumped you?" Poseidon asked.

Then something changed. Hades tensed. Maybe the fresh air cleared his mind.

"What am I doing?" he wailed, pushing Minthe aside. "It's springtime. My wife will be around here somewhere, making plants grow and whatnot. She'll find us!"

"At least Hades has a sense of respect and loyalty." Artemis approved.

"Who cares?" Minthe asked. "You said you loved me."

"I—I—" Hades gulped.

Minthe's green eyes were gorgeous. She was very pretty and she smelled good, but now Hades realized their love was hopeless. He remembered the murderous look in Persephone's eyes when she'd heard about Leuke.

"Poor Hades. Bending in front of love like a twig." Aphrodite cooed, yet she looked very dangerous.

"I've got to get back to Erebos," Hades said. "Enjoy the upper world."

"Slipping off, are we?" Dionysus asked.

"You're coming back, right?" Minthe demanded.

"Um…" Hades chickened out and dissolved into shadows.

"Chickening out, what are you? The lord of underworld or just a chicken?" Zeus chuckled.

Minthe should've forgotten him. She'd made it to the mortal world! She could've found a new river to bind her life force to. She could've lived forever in the beautiful forests and hills of Greece.

But nope. Too easy!

Being dumped on the hillside made her angry.

"Being angry in Greek Mythology isn't good for your health, unless you're a god. Advice no 111 of course." Apollo said.

It dawned on her that she'd wrapped the god Hades around her little finger without even trying. She really must be beautiful. And she did smell great. She deserved to be a queen.

"You have a nice mindset, dear." Dionysus said.

"Hades loves me!" she shouted to the wind. "He's going to come back and get me and make me the queen of the Underworld! I am more beautiful than Persephone, and more wonderful, and I smell better, and—"

"Smelling good there, braggart?" Ares asked.

The hillside rumbled. Grass and flowers swirled into a massive funnel cloud of petals. The goddess Persephone appeared as a fifty-foot-tall colossus.

"Perzilla?" Leo named the beautiful gigantic mythical creature.

At that point, Minthe realized she'd made a mistake.

"Where Minthe shits in her pants." Grover said.

"YOU, PRETTIER THAN ME?" Persephone boomed. "YEAH, RIGHT! YOU DO SMELL GOOD, THOUGH. PERHAPS I CAN FIND A USE FOR YOU AMONG THE PLANTS!"

Persephone raised her giant sandaled foot and squashed Minthe flat.

"That might have hurt." Hera said.

When she smeared her foot across the hillside, tiny green plants sprang up. Their leaves smelled wonderful whenever they were crushed. Persephone decided to call them mint plants, and the hill near Pylos where they first grew is still called Mount Minthe.

"That's the birth of mint, kids." Apollo said, licking a mint Lolly.

So next time you have mint chocolate chip ice cream, you can thank Persephone, though it can be a little hard to eat the stuff when you realize it's made from smashed river nymph.

"Gross! You're insulting my favourite ice cream!" Jason said.

After that, Hades didn't have many affairs. He mostly stayed in his palace and minded his own business.

"Laying low and looking cool." 14 years old Hephaestus teased.

Mortal heroes didn't always leave him alone, though. They kept popping down, demanding things.

"A one demanding Master Bolt and his mother." Hades drawled.

Percy grinned. "Guilty." He said.

One hero wanted his dog, Cerberus. Another hero wanted Hades to return his dead sweetheart to life. Another hero even tried to abduct Persephone.

"Heracles, Orpheus and Pirithous." Hades looked at Nico. "I liked Orpheus better than other two."

Maybe I'll tell you those stories another time, but all this gloomy Underworld stuff is making me claustrophobic.

"One of Percy's many mistakes." Leo said, winking towards the pythos

I need some fresh sea air. Let's pop over to the Mediterranean, and I'll introduce you to my dad—

Poseidon grinned.

the one and only Poseidon.

"Guess my time to read?" Poseidon asked. Hades just sent him the book..

All grown up Hephaestus took his seat back. He looked very handsome now. He had a tall and muscular body now, unflawed and unharmed. He had a flaming war hammer in hands, apparently made by himself. His eyes gleamed red and gold, the colour of fire.

"Thank you Apollo. You will be rewarded. You said you had given your golden sword to Hermes right?"

Apollo nodded.

"You will get a one." Hephaestus assured.

Meanwhile, Percy paid five drachmas for Nico and Leo each. Then Nico took the pythos and admired its craft. Minos wouldn't know what he's gonna face!

...

A/N

Earlier than expected huh? Sorry if there's some lack of baby Hephaestus fluff, he's not a goofy kid but a laid back one. Poseidon's up, its the time for sea dude, give an applause!

Who will be the target of next prank. Name and win a prize. Prize of your favourite god being pranked.

Love you guys. Favourites also reached milestone of fifty. Stay safe. See you.