Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts,
Flashbacks waking me up,
I get drunk, but it's not enough,
'Cause the morning comes and you're not my baby.

"Meredith, I know your flight home is this afternoon, but I need you to run a quick errand before you go," she rolled her eyes as she heard her mother's voice. Now she needed help, just as she was leaving the state.

She turned to look at her mother who stood in the doorway of Meredith's childhood bedroom, one hand on her hip as she spoke, "What is it?"

"I need you to take this file over to Mount Sinai, for Dr Christopher Shepherd. You remember him, right? Trauma surgeon. Anyway, he's helping me with a project now that he's back in work," she held out a file to her daughter who took it in slight confusion. Derek's father? Back at work? Where had he been?

"Yeah, sure, I can take it on my way to the airport, I guess," she put the file into her carry-on bag, her brow furrowed.

"Good. Oh, I meant to tell you, but I think with everything that's been going on it clearly escaped my mind. He was ill, Dr Shepherd. Lung cancer. Derek, Dr Shepherd, you met him on Friday, he was torn up about it. Thankfully, he's come through the other side and is in remission now. Well, let me know when you've dropped it off and let me know when you land back in Seattle. I've been thinking about visiting Seattle myself…"

As her mind processed the new information from her mother, Ellis' voice was tuned out in place of her concentration, so she didn't hear about the upcoming possibility of being visited by her in Seattle. Derek's father was ill? Why didn't he tell her? Is that what he meant yesterday, what her mother should have told her? No wonder he thought he might've heard from her. Dammit, why did no one tell her? And when she hadn't been there, April must've been the one there for him. Could she even begin to compete with that? She needed to get out of New York.

I look through the windows of this love,
Even though we boarded them up,
Chandelier still flickering here,
'Cause I can't pretend it's okay when it's not,
It's death by a thousand cuts.

She arrived at Mount Sinai hospital with only two hours before she needed to be at the airport for her flight. She approached the front desk and was easily directed to the emergency department where she should find Dr Christopher Shepherd. She recognised him as soon as she saw him, partly from memory, and partly from the similar features his son had obviously inherited from him. Especially the blue of his eyes.

He looked up from the computer he sat at as she approached, looking at her over his glasses, "Meredith Grey? Is that you?"

She laughed softly as she pulled the file her mother had given her for him out of her carry-on, "Good to see you again, Dr Shepherd. My mother sent me."

"Ah, yes, she did mention over email earlier this morning. How is she doing?" He stood and moved round the desk to stand beside her, taking the files.

"She's much better now, back to work on Monday. I don't think anyone would be able to stop her."

"Do you have time for a quick coffee?"

She hesitated a moment, but nodded, "I have an hour before I need to head to the airport."

She followed him outside to the coffee cart, and he purchased them both a coffee each before guiding her over to one of the free benches that surrounded the small grassy area. She took the coffee from him with thanks, unsure of what he wanted to speak to her about.

"My mother, this morning, she mentioned you had been unwell. I wasn't aware, I hope you're feeling much better now, and it stays that way. I'm glad you managed to pull through," she gave him a warm smile before taking a sip of the coffee, letting the cup warm her hands in the cool spring air.

"Thank you, I'm definitely doing better now. Just got back to work this past week," he gave a small nod, "It was hard, definitely gave me a greater understanding of the illness. I appreciate the support your mother gave my son."

Her eyebrows rose, both at the thought of her mother showing compassion, and the mention of Derek in the conversation, "Oh, I hadn't realised. I mean, she did imply an appreciation of his talents…" she tilted her head to the side a moment as she mused, "I guess that's how she expresses herself, though."

"He's told me about you, you know," he stated, and the look of pretend confusion on her face had him explaining himself a little more. "He spoke about meeting you again in Hawaii, he's very much a romantic, Derek. I just put two and two together, your mother had mentioned in passing about your holiday. I never let on to him who you actually were, so he didn't know you were Ellis' daughter until you showed up on Friday. I understand why you didn't want him to know."

She found herself biting her lower lip as he spoke, trying to push down the flight response that had instinctively risen in her. "I would've come to see you, to be here for him… If I'd known I would have. My mother didn't even mention anything until she gave me the file to pass along to you, this morning," her hands flexed around the coffee cup as she spoke.

"I know your father left when you were young, Meredith, and I'll admit, I know Ellis isn't exactly the best mother, though she means well. Just know, Carolyn and I, you can always come to us if you need anything. You're welcome in our home anytime," he rested his hand on her shoulder with a gentle squeeze, "Even if things don't pan out with you and Derek. You might not remember much, but I watched you grow up for a while when I would work with your mother or see her in passing."

Her eyes started to water a little, but she blinked away the tears as she gave him a small smile, "Thank you, I really do appreciate that, how is Carolyn?"

"She's good, you should come and visit next time you find yourself in New York. She hasn't seen you since you were about seven," he chuckled softly, and she nodded.

She glanced at her watch, realising she had to get going to the airport, "I have to get going. It was nice to see you again."

He moved her hand from her shoulder as she stood and he nodded, "Anytime. Oh, and Meredith?"

She looked to him, her hand holding her bag over her shoulder whilst the other held the half-empty coffee cup, "Yeah?"

"Don't give up on my son. I know he's with… well, just don't give up on him. He really does love you. He hasn't exactly told me this, but I can tell, the way he talks about you… well it reminds me of myself when I met Carolyn."

And what once was ours,
Is no one's now,
I see you everywhere, the only thing we share,
Is this small town.
You said it was a great love,
One for the ages,
But if the story's over, why am I still writing pages?

After having been called away from the bar last night, at the least opportune moment, Derek was finally able to head home for some much-needed sleep. He hated he had to leave Meredith last night before anything could be resolved. He had been meaning to end things with April, but then he hadn't seen her until she walked in the bar and accosted him. He knew Meredith had watched the whole thing and couldn't blame her for her reaction when she'd seen them together. He'd felt the surge of jealousy just seeing her hugging Mark, although he knows she would never do something like that.

As he climbed in his car, his phone started ringing from his coat pocket. He quickly checked the name on the screen before answering, his dad was calling him. Which was strange, because it was always his mom who would ring if they had a dinner or anything. His dad only ever rang in an emergency.

"Dad? What's up?"

"Derek, I'm fine. Don't panic. I'm just calling because Meredith had just been here."

"Meredith? Why? Is she okay?" He couldn't hide the panic, despite his father telling him not to panic.

"Well, she's fine, physically. She came to drop some research off from her mother on her way to the airport. That's why I've called you. You need to meet her at the airport. Her flight leaves in just over an hour."

"Dad… I can't. She doesn't want anything to do with me. I've tried."

"And you're giving up so easily? It's obvious that girl cares for you. Look, she never knew I got ill. She really doesn't speak that much with her mother and when they did speak, her mother never thought to mention it. I've heard you speak about her, and I know she's the one for you. I know how much you love her. You need to do something about this," his dad's voice was firm, but caring.

"I know, I know she didn't know, I just, what about April?" he groaned as he ran his hand over his face, in two minds about what to do.

"We both know that your relationship with that girl was doomed from the start," his dad really had a way of being blunt with him, sometimes. It was refreshing and most times, he definitely needed it. "Derek, go to the airport. Tell her how you feel until she listens to you. Make her listen to you. If she's anything like her mother, she's stubborn as anything."

Derek couldn't stop the grin that etched into his expression as he spoke about her, "Yeah, she really is stubborn. Okay, okay, I'll go. I'm going."

"Good, oh, and don't forget dinner on Sunday," his father reminded him.

Derek rolled his eyes, how could he forget something that happened every week, on the same day? "I won't, see you later." Derek hung up the call and threw the phone on to the passenger side seat before starting the engine, clipping his seatbelt into place as he pulled out of the parking lot and headed in the direction of the airport.

He was running out of time. Traffic had been crawling on the drive here, and he didn't even know the exact time her plane was leaving. It may have already set off. He pulled into a parking space, rushing out the car and into the airport terminal, his eyes scanning the departure boards for flights to Seattle. Her plane was boarding in one minute exactly. Dammit.

He raced through to the terminal, praying he would have a chance to speak to her before she boarded the plane. He could hear the overhead tannoy calling the boarding for her flight as he got closer. His eyes scanned the seating area for her, his eyes finally catching the familiar colour of her hair. The polite smile on her lips as she handed her pass to the attendant.

He was too late; she was already past the boarding station and on her way to the plane. His eyes followed her through the glass wall as he watched her walking through. His hand ran over his face in frustration, and he could feel the anger bubbling up inside him. It took all of his strength to keep himself clam. He couldn't make a scene in the airport.

His breath caught then, and all his anger dissipated as she turned, and their eyes locked across the airport. He drank in the image of her, committing her to his memory, not knowing when he would be able to see her again. The way her hair fell naturally in waves over her shoulders, strands of golden blonde highlighted by the sunlight coming from outside. His eyes captured the way her teeth trapped her full, lower lip between them, a habit she had when she was nervous, and he wanted nothing but to hold her in his arms, right there and then.

My heart, my hips, my body, my love
Tryna find a part of me that you didn't touch
Gave up on me like I was a bad drug
Now I'm searching for signs in a haunted club.

Our songs, our films, united, we stand
Our country, guess it was a lawless land
Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand
Paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans.

Only a second had passed, but it felt like a life time. She gave him a small shake of her head before turning around, heading toward the plane once more, leaving him bereft.

My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust
Tryna find a part of me you didn't take up
Gave you so much, but it wasn't enough
But I'll be alright, it's just a thousand cuts

Death By A Thousand Cuts - Taylor Swift.