Looking back, I couldn't say I had ever truly been happy. I was content, and that was something I had studiously crafted for myself. I crafted a life where everyone was kept at arm's length, a life where I spent my weekend with one clueless brunette after another, punishing a dead woman. I was content with that life, even though it had its negatives. And then suddenly I wasn't.

Physically, I was as healthy as could be. Financially, secure isn't a good enough word to cover it. Emotionally, well, I never gave in to my emotions except for anger and fear. My anger was legendary, my fear, though many, remained hidden.

Two weeks before my twenty-ninth birthday, I was hit with a crippling sense of emptiness and numbness, I felt nothing, even the night terrors had lost its hold on me. The hurt I was subjected to as a toddler by the pimp. The night terrors. The feeling of complete loss of control that sometimes overcame me, none had ever made me wish for the blissful unknown of eternal sleep as this emptiness did.

Early on in my life, that would have been a cause for celebration, but now, it only emphasized just how vacuous I felt in every way. The playroom was gone, I had bought my usual array of toys preparing for my next sub whenever Elena found one. The day the new toys arrived, I opened the box, and the sight of its contents left me cold. There was a time when need, urgency, and anticipation would have flowed through me as I waited impatiently for the weekend.

As I looked around the room and the emptiness prevailed, not even my sanctuary could pull the smallest of emotion out of me. I piled the box high with the belts, paddles, whips, floggers, and other accessories. I made the trip to the basement, making use of the incinerator. Four days later, the playroom sat there empty, painted white. It matched my soul to perfection, an emptiness I had no hope of filling.

I had no friends to turn to. Flynn had long ago lost his objectivity and could no longer help. I could not honestly speak to my family, how could I, when my story would be full of holes and lies. I never once considered turning to Elena, and that was the day I realized she was no friend. My lack of a personal life fuelled a hatred so visceral I thought I might kill someone, and I knew just who that someone was. I didn't just cut her out of my life, I took everything she held near and dear. I took Esclava and removed my backing with the banks. I left her with nothing and what I couldn't get my hands on the banks took, her house, her cars, and any money she had hidden. These days, Elena Lincoln worked for a small questionably run salon in Spokane. She lived in a studio apartment in a neighborhood mostly populated by drug dealers, addicts, and prostitutes. As far as I was concerned, it was more than she deserved.

Though surrounded by people all willing to sell their souls for a chance at anything with me, that emptiness prevailed, crushing me with such vindictiveness, I didn't know existed. Then I heard it, a giggle, a sound that turned my head too fast, I'd feel it in the morning. None of that mattered as I spied her, pale, brunette, and for a moment that sudden beat, the pulse of life that began to thrum, began to fade. I didn't want someone who reminded me of the others, they were part of the problem, but then I got a glimpse of her face. How dare I compare her to them, she looked nothing like them, nothing about her reminded me of them. Those eyes, so alive, thrumming with life and happiness, eyes I found myself sinking into. Her colleague said something to her, and she turned to look at me. She smiled, and for the first time in God knows how long I smiled back a God's honest, genuine smile. She was wearing a navy blue pencil skirt, A pink dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to just below her elbow, navy blue ballet flats.

She turned her attention back to her colleague who said something, and she blushed, then glared at him as he laughed. I was sure whatever it was, it was about me. She put her hand to her ear and made her way out of the ballroom. I noticed the earpiece when she turned to look at me again, she blushed when she found I was still staring. I absentmindedly picked up a glass of something when a server passed, downing the contents hoping it would help me center myself. It was champagne and the expensive kind. "I will have another." I murmured before he walked away. "The brunette in the pink… your colleague…"

"You mean my boss." My eyes widened. "Anastasia Steele, of Steele Catering Services." He answered.

"SCS." I smiled. "Thanks." With a nod, he walked away, not before I grabbed a third flute. I knew the company well, they had catered the Coping Together events for the last two years. Ros, I believed, planned on contacting them to carter for GEH's tenth anniversary. Whether she had or not, I have no idea.

Half an hour before dinner, she took over at the bar, and the men lined up for drinks. All of a sudden, every eligible bachelor, and some not so eligible seemed to be in dire need of a drink. Ana had to suddenly find a jar for all the tips that was being thrown her way.

I found a quiet corner and watched it all. Anastasia chatted and laughed at the jokes as she served the drinks. The jar was suddenly overflowing with money, that the money was being pushed down to enable more. The colleague she had been chatting to earlier, came back, but instead of taking over, he stood to the side, eyeing that jar of money. I laughed loudly and then coughed to cover it up when I figured it out. They let her continue to man the bar due to the significant amount of tips she was receiving. Of course, most of the people who attended such galas had money to burn and wanted to be seen burning it, especially if a lovely young lady was involved.

It was time for the formal part of the night, something I found I had no interest in. I had no desire to be surrounded by a bunch of sycophants, who, by the end of the dessert course, would have given me an earache. I made my way out of the ballroom as everyone headed to their tables. Usually, I would have no trouble joining them. Still, just the idea of being surrounded by people, even ones I did not know, was better than nothing. Tonight though, I, for the first time in over two years, didn't feel so alone as I walked down the hall to the smaller ballroom. It was empty, but the door was opened, and it also had a grand piano. In truth, over the last couple of years, my piano had lost the ability to get me out of my funk... for lack of a better word. After a particularly bad nightmare, I could get lost in playing a difficult piece, but that no longer seemed to be the case. In truth, my nightmares seemed to have so little effect on me nowadays, the piano was not needed as much.

Except for tonight, something was different, I moved to the grand piano a little quicker, eager to play. It wasn't my piano, it did not have the same familiarity, it did not have the same wear pattern on the keys, but my God, it felt good as my fingers moved across the keys. It wasn't until I was almost done that I realized what I was playing. Anastasia, by Slash, it was not an easy song to play on the piano, but I had managed it. I played for another half an hour before making my way back to the larger ballroom. They were on dessert when I made it back, despite that I moved toward the bar. There was no one tending it, but I leaned against the bar looking down at my phone, returning a few emails.

"Can I get you anything?" I looked up and found I was staring at the very woman who had me breathing again.

"A glass of water, thank you." She grabbed a bottle of perrier and emptied it into a glass for me.

"There you go." My fingers brushed against hers, her look told me she felt the jolt of something I felt when our fingers touched.

Thank you." I took a sip of the drink. "You wouldn't, by any chance, have any dessert left?" I asked.

She giggled and put her hand to her ear. "Corey, could you bring out one serving of chocolate souffle." She asked, still laughing. "Coming right up." She informed me. True to her word, one serving of chocolate souffle was placed in front of me a few minutes later. There was no stifling the moan as the souffle hit my tongue, it was sheer perfection. I finally had the sense to introduce myself after I had devoured the souffle in record time. "I'm Christian, by the way."

"Hello, Christian, I am Anastasia, but my friends call me Ana."

"Pleasure to meet you, Ana." I put my hand out, which she took.

"Likewise." She whispered, her eyes glued to our joined hands. I reluctantly released her hand after holding it longer than it was appropriate.

"Ros Bailey wanted to hire you for GEH's tenth anniversary," I said by way of conversation. I had never been one for idle chit chat, but I was desperate to keep her talking, talking to me.

"Yes, she did; she hired me for that and your New Year's Eve celebrations."

"I had no idea we were having any form of celebrations for New Year." Then again, I haven't exactly given a fuck about much of anything.

"Your COO running rings around you." She teased with a smile that had me smiling back like a loon.

"She always has, it's one of the many reasons she's my COO." I was beyond pleased Ana wasn't playing the game of pretending she had no idea who I was. I was happy to be stood by a bar making small talk. Soon the dinner and auction portion of the evening ended, much to my chagrin.

"Ana, are you going to man the bar…"

"Don't be greedy." She retorted before Corey's sentence was complete. As Corey disappeared back the way he came, I chuckled despite myself.

"Shame, just when I was about stuff your tip jar full." I quipped, earning an admonishing look from Ana.

"Stop teasing." Ana giggled as another took over, tending the bar. "They are mostly students, and well, it does help… me tending bar for a half hour or so earns them a little extra cash. I was in their shoes once, I know how tight money can be as a student even with employment" She shrugged.

I certainly couldn't fault the male species from emptying their pockets, Miss Steele was quite lovely and had a personality to match.

"Oh, please, your brother is a shameless flirt. I find it's best to pretend he doesn't exist." Ana giggled. "I have no desire to be another notch on his bedpost." She added much to my relief. The gala was over, and the ballroom was empty, save Ana and me.

"I could not have put it better myself." I will admit, when she said she knew Elliot well, I feared it meant the obvious.

"Can you do Coping Together and still do GEH's…" I didn't finish my sentence before she waved off my concern.

"It's a couple of weeks apart, you'd be amazed at what I can accomplish in the space of a week. I do six events a month on average. During the summer, it's more, but I try to keep to six functions a month."

"How did you get started if you don't mind me asking."

"I have always loved cooking, the minute I turned sixteen, I got a job at our local restaurant. It served me well because my next job was at The Heathman. In my last year of college, I was the sous chef during the weekends. The plan was to open my own restaurant in a few years.

Then, a friend who worked at another hotel complained about a function he could not cater for and had cancel at the last minute. I don't know what I was thinking, but I told him I could do it. I put up a flier around campus looking for two bartenders, two amateur chefs, and ten wait staff. I got more people applying than I expected, I thought I'd be begging people to take the job not interviewing and testing their skills. I used the kitchen on campus and got everything done in four days. It was a success, and I had people asking for my information. I didn't even have a business then, next minute I was running around busy setting up SCS, and the rest, as they say, is history."

"You seem to have found success very quickly," I said, feeling rather proud of her.

"When your mother hired us for Coping Together, that was when the jobs started flooding in; we had to turn down jobs. We are booked solid for the next fourteen months." I watched as she kicked her shoes off and planted them on my lap with no preamble. Ana looked at me as though waiting for something. "When a woman plants her feet on your lap, she expects a massage."

"My apologies." I chuckled and got to work. She was not intimidated by me or felt the need to act reserved with me. I felt I had for the first time in my life, a friend, and one I was determined not to drive away with my issues. As much as she had brought me to life, it was not her job to save me. She had given me a reason to fight, and fight was exactly what I intended to do.

"What did you study at college?"

"With opening my own restaurant in mind, I studied business. I didn't need culinary school; I found it best to learn while working." I nodded. Mia had chosen to study, even spent a year in Paris, and all that amounted to nothing.

"Ana, where is the rest of the food going this time," Corey asked.

"Erm… I think it's Mary's Place this week." Ana muttered.

"You send the rest of the food to shelters." He liked that very much.

"Yeah, there is always enough food leftover. A lot of hotels and restaurants do the same, despite that the food business is still a major contributor to Seattle's waste stream.

Are you going to help them?" It was after midnight, and the guys were packing up.

"I spend up to an hour laughing at nonsensical jokes and smiling at some idiot staring at my breast so intently I felt the need to look down to determine if my clothes were still on." Ana snarked, and I barked out a laugh. "So yeah, they clean up, and I get leered at. I pay them, and on top of that, they made over three hundred dollars each tax-free to boot. It's a deal that works out well for all involved." I smiled as Corey rolled his eyes, pushing a cart into the kitchen.

"Ana." I looked up to find a rather good looking man staring at Ana's feet on my lap. Ana threw her head back to look at the man in question. "Hey, Max, what are you doing here?" She did not sound pleased.

"Saw your truck down the side, figured you were still here." He stared at me as he answered the question. Watching Ana, her head thrown back. I knew if I were in this idiots shoes, I would be kissing the ever-loving shit out of her. No, he stood there staring at me, instead of looking at his girl when he answered her. If I found my woman with her feet on another man's lap as he massaged it, I would have questions. Instead, he stood there with a defeated look, as though he had already lost his woman to me. Then again, I had no idea what he was to her. He could be her brother for all I knew, but the way he looked at me, told me either boyfriend or prospective boyfriend.

"Max, this is Christian, Christian, this is Max," I noted the lack of a title. I gave him a nod.

"Her boyfriend." I didn't miss the hesitation in his voice or Ana's look of annoyance, but she doesn't contradict him.

"Her friend," I reply rather sarcastically even though I didn't mean to. Ana looked amused by my behavior. "I have to get going anyway. How are the feet, Miss Steele?"

"Feeling great, Mr. Grey." Ana giggled. "See you around, Christian." I didn't have time to react as I wasn't expecting it. She hugged me, her hands on my upper back. I froze, waiting for the pain to hit, but she let go of me before I had time to register anything.

"Yeah, see around, Ana." I murmured, my mind entirely focused on the lack of pain her hug brought. As much as I didn't want to, I knew I had to call Flynn in the morning. I had no idea where to go from here.

"How did you get my number?" It was all I thought to ask when I heard Ana's voice on the other end.

"Ros." She answered as though it should have been obvious to me.

"She wouldn't." Especially my personal number.

"I could teach your brother a lesson or two in flirting." Ana laughed.

"You are telling me you flirted with Ros, and she gave you my personal number." I didn't entirely buy that, but in all honesty, I didn't care how she got my number.

"Précisément." She retorted.

Tu parles francais?"

"Passable."

"You are full of surprises." I couldn't help admire her quite a bit.

"That I am. What time did you wake up?" Ana asked in a tone that made me feel as though I was in trouble.

"I've been up since six, I went for a run, it was a lovely day for it." A rarity in February.

"So you've been up for over seven hours, and in that time, it did not occur to you to send a 'it was a pleasure meeting you' text. I woke up expecting at least that or at best, a missed call from you, Mr. Grey, and I got nada. And don't tell me you don't have my number," She complained. I did indeed have her number. She had slipped her card into my pocket.

"Hablas español?"

"Pasable." She laughed, and I smiled at the repeat of the conversation. "Don't think you can change the subject, everyone knows what nada means."

"Wasn't trying to." I defended because I wasn't trying to change the subject, and I suspected she knew more than nada. "I am sorry I will do better." I could not help my smile.

"That remains to be seen." I could tell she was smiling and trying desperately not to.

"It was a delight meeting and talking to you last night. I was completely enthralled by your beauty and personality." I meant every word of it.

"That's a start." She giggled. "I'm sending you my address, be here in an hour and all be forgiven."

"I'll be there." I was not going to turn down an invitation from her, and Flynn had sounded far too happy at the prospect of me forming a friendship with Ana. He had also advised me to follow her lead, and that is what I intend to do.

Precisely an hour later, I rang the buzzer. "Yes." Ana answered in a sing-song voice.

"It's me," I answered.

"I'm not expecting anyone by the name it's me." I couldn't help the chuckle that left me.

"It's Christian." I corrected.

"Now, you, I'm expecting." She buzzed me in. I took the elevator to the fifteenth floor. The floor only had three apartments. The door to hers opened, and she smiled at me. "Any difficulty finding the place?" I handed her two bottles of wine. "Oh, thank you."

"No, I, on occasion, run the trail by the waterfront. Especially when this building was going up, I loved seeing the progress they were making." I could not help but admire her home. It was warm, and well lived in, the couch was covered in a variety of cushions and a throw she was clearly using. A glass of wine was sat on the center table. What grabbed my attention more than anything was the picture wall. Your eye was first drawn to the picture in the middle, it was larger than most, and it was of her and José Rodriguez, the photography. "That is José Rodriguez, right. I remember him, he's the official photographer for Coping Together."

"Yeah, we live together; unfortunately, he is never here. I think he's been here all of four months in total since we moved in two years ago." Ana mumbled as she poured me a glass of wine. "Come on, it's a nice day, we can sit out on the balcony." On the table, there was a platter of olives, cheese, and crackers. I popped an olive into my mouth.

"What of the boyfriend?" I asked, looking around. There was no sign of him on the picture wall.

"Who?" I gave her a perplexed look.

"The guy I met last night, Max."

"Oh, him. He's not my boyfriend." She said, topping up my Sancerre. At this rate, I'll be drunk in a few hours.

"He introduced himself as such," I argued.

"Yeah, he did. I did not. He has not earned the title of boyfriend yet, and at the rate he's going, it will never happen. You take heed, had I woken up to a message or call from you, you would have earned the title of friend by now, as you didn't, you have to work harder to earn it." She warned playfully.

"Duly noted."

"Oh, I should have asked. You are a carnivore right." She whispered, smirking all the while.

"Yes, I am a carnivore." I had to laugh, there was no other way to react to the way she asked.

"Excellent, I've got a nice beef sirloin slowly roasting in the oven, and a four-cheese mac and cheese for dinner." She topped up my wine and hers.

"And what's for dessert." Her smile only got brighter at the question.

"That is a surprise. It's something new I'm trying out," Ana sounded excited about it.

"So, I'm to be your guinea pig today." I teased.

"Or you can look at it as my taster," Ana countered.

"Yeah, I suppose I could." She rolled her eyes at me, and I laughed, surprising myself. "So, how did Max happen?" I asked because I just could not see her with him. The little I knew about her so far told me she could do so much better. That simpering idiot would soon lose her to someone with a bit more backbone. Her heavy sigh pretty much answered my question.

"He was the organizer of a small event I was catering. My God, he called every day asking one inane question after another. I didn't have to be a rocket scientist to know he was interested, and in truth, I found his bumbling nature cute. Cute can quickly become annoying, I have discovered. We've been on a couple of dates, and he thinks that makes me his girlfriend. Last night he had the audacity to question me about you.

"What did you tell him?"

"That we were friends." She chuckled humourlessly. "He followed that with how come you have never mentioned him. That you would think I would have mentioned the fact that Christian Grey was my friend. I told him you valued your privacy. Outside of that, I haven't known him long enough or well enough for him to know everything there is know about me." She muttered angrily. "What made it all the more annoying was I had intended to end things as I don't see us going anywhere, can't remember why I didn't. He is a perfectly nice guy, but we have nothing in common, and my God is he dull. I can imagine sex with him being just as dull." She emptied the bottle of wine. "We need another bottle."

"Why not." I was going with the flow. It was another bottle of Sancerre.

Several hours later, I am still thoroughly enjoying myself and my meal enough to ask for seconds. "You must have quite a lot of friends." I wondered how many friends I would have to share her with. She worked all week preparing for events and then the event itself. Her time was finite, and I was sure I wouldn't do well with limited time with her.

"Oh, far from it. My dad was a Marine, we never settled in any one place until I was sixteen." She answered after swallowing a piece of beef. Her cooking was nothing short of spectacular, and I was enjoying every morsel.

"Hence, your passable grasp on languages." I surmised.

"Yep, I learned to make friends; in fact, I found it rather easy. I could believe that, but I realized it was easy because they weren't the type of friends I would have for life. The only friend I've had all my life is José. We grew up together on the different Marine bases. His dad and mine almost always found themselves on the same base, except for Italy, even then we kept in touch. We went to the same college and shared a house from our sophomore year." Her wistfulness was evident.

"You miss him," I said softly.

"Yeah, technology has made it easy to see each other and chat for hours on end, but nothing beats this. Being in the same place, sharing conversation, good food, and wine. When we finally settled, in Montesano, I realized as quickly as I could make friends, I didn't want any because I found I was now picky about the type of friends I made. My room-mate in college was a perfect example of the kind of friend I did not want. Upon first meeting, you'd think we could be friends, and then I realized she didn't possess a selfless bone in her body. I am quiet and reserved upon first meeting people. I learned to be quiet and allow people to reveal themselves. She saw a doormat. She was incapable of taking care of herself and expected me to do it for her. Then the sock on the door… my God, practically every night. That didn't bother so much because I was almost always in the library or working or hanging with José.

Then José had an idea, if I got back to the dorm first and she came back with her next conquest, she would be hard-pressed to ask me to leave especially if I was already in bed or hanging with José. The first time she asked if I was going out." Ana laughed. "It felt great to tell her I was expecting company, so no." I wish I had a camera to capture the look on her face." Anyway, José was dating this girl who knew someone who knew someone whose uncle was someone, and when I came back for my second semester, I had a new room. I saw her a few weeks after, and she practically got on her knees, begging me to come back. Turned out, she did not do well with someone worse than she was when it came to hygiene and the sock on the door." She barked out a laugh.

"Karma is a bitch." I murmured.

"Isn't she just, Katherine Kavanagh learned that the hard way. Well, actually no, from what I hear, she is still the spoilt little brat she's always being."

"And unfortunately, I can attest to that. Kavanagh dated Elliot, a couple of years ago for a few weeks. I met her once during lunch with the family, and it was enough for me to know I wanted to be as far away from her as possible. Thankfully, I knew Elliot would soon move on, and he did. I've run into her at a few functions and always gave her wide berth." I snarled, I really detested that woman.

"Think you have room for dessert?" Ana looked thoroughly amused.

"Oh fuck, you should have reminded me when I asked for a second helping." I groaned while she laughed.

"Don't worry, we can have that later." She cleared the table, refusing my attempt to help. It had gotten late, and the temperature had dropped somewhat. It looked like it was going to rain, which was nothing new for this city.

Her couch was incredibly comfortable; it was undoubtedly bought with constant usage in mind. We settled on the couch to watch a movie, not that either of us paid much attention to it. We drunk more wine and talked. At some point during the night, we fell asleep on the couch. I woke up to find Ana practically on top of me, her head was on my chest, her arms wrapped around me, and I was not in pain. I simply marveled at the head on my chest and waited for the panic to set in, but it never came. I relaxed and matched my breathing to hers, soon falling back asleep.

When I woke up again, I was alone on the couch and could smell bacon. God knows I needed it to soak up all that alcohol.

"I never got to taste test the dessert," I grumbled, earning a laugh from Ana.

"You can take it home with you." Home, I realized I didn't have one. I had a place I put my clothes and rested my head when I could, but a home, it wasn't. There was nothing there that said this is Christian Grey's home. It was so fucking generic, it could belong to anyone at all.

"Hey, are you catering the hospital benefit next month?" I had no intention of going, but if she was, I would.

"Actually, I am. Another of Grace's connections." She smiled. "I take it I will see you there."

"You will. I will try not to monopolize your time during your turn at the bar." Ana threw her head back in laughter.

"I'm sure my staff will appreciate it." She smiled. "Coffee?"

"Black, one sugar, thank you, Ana." I was surprised how easy, our conversations went. I honestly didn't think I had it in me.

After breakfast, she packed the dessert and a container of last night's meal for me, "There you go, try not to eat it all in one day. Trust me, there is enough sugar in there to have you climbing the walls." She warned even though we both knew I was unlikely to listen.

"I… I…" I cleared my throat. "I don't have friends, the one friend I thought I had turned out to be the worst thing that ever happened to me. She took away any chance of me having a life outside of her and what she taught me. Until yesterday, I felt empty, I had given up on everything, and the little effort I was making with my family had even waned. I know it's a little too soon to be pouring…"

She cut me off. "It's never too soon." I nodded.

"I just wanted to say thank you for everything, especially your friendship." I pulled her in for a hug

before leaving, surprising us both.

Later that day, I found myself on the front step of my parent's home. I usually came for Sunday lunch because my mother had asked and not because I wanted to. "Christian." Her surprise was evident. I hadn't been here in nearly seven months, and every time she had asked, I made some pathetic excuse as to why I could not join them. For the first time in years, I was here without her having to ask. Ana had given me a new lease of life, and I was determined to make the most of it. "Thought, I'd come for lunch with the family."

"Yes, yes, come right in. It's good to see you." She looked on the verge of tears. It wasn't just because I showed up today, they all knew something was wrong, they had asked, and I had denied it, blaming the stresses of work, but we all knew better. Today, she could see my dull eyes weren't so dull anymore.

"You too." I smiled down at her. On Tuesday, I surprised her and my father by taking them out to dinner at the Mile High. I could see they hoped I would tell them what was going on with me, but I just wasn't ready to have that conversation with them.

Ana and I spoke most nights, she asked questions, and I answered. I told her all about Elena and my introduction to BDSM. The sudden feeling of emptiness so profound, ending my life, seemed to be better than continuing this vacuous existence. She whooped with joy when I told her about Elena's demise. She had me tell her in minute detail how I had destroyed the bitch. Two weeks after we met, Ana spent the day at Escala for the first time. Her chastisement of my penthouse resulted in me hiring an interior designer. We also spent time watching the video of my last conversation with Elena in my office. I hadn't watched it since that day, but I will admit I got a great deal of enjoyment from it. Just thinking of that night with Ana, put a smile on my face.

"There are times I wish I was a little more approachable." I murmured without thought.

"Maybe if you allowed others to see what I see." She whispered, looking up at me.

"That's just it, isn't it, it is just a facade, I can't exactly bare my soul to everyone who could be a potential friend." Ana turned to look at me, she was silent for so long I thought I made my point.

"Is that what I am looking at, a facade... or am I looking at you." She had me there.

"No, Miss Steele, you are looking at me." There was something about her from the get-go, something I have yet to see in anybody else. With her having the entire weekend off, I decided to take her out on The Grace. We had dropped anchor in the middle of Lake Washington on the sunniest September on record, and it also happened to be her birthday.

"And that is the you l am asking you to let others see. Then you might get a true estimate of who you truly are because let's be honest, you don't see yourself clearly." She moved her head from my lap, sitting up. "I am not asking you to cultivate more friendships that would be hypocritical of me, but I just think you could be more approachable if people saw what I saw." I should have known she would not have taken it as a flippant comment.

"I will work on it."

"You are saying that just to shut me up." She giggled, laying back down on my lap.

"It's all I can think of." I looked down at her, and we both chuckled.

With her eyes closed, I could greedily take in every inch of her face. It hadn't taken me long to realize out that I was in love with her. Hell, I hadn't needed Flynn to figure that one out. A month ago, at the GEH tenth anniversary party, a boy from the finance department asked her out. My heart damn near beat out of my chest while I waited for her answer. She had turned him down, the relief that coursed through me said it all. Of course, I wasn't alone, and in a room full of people, my family included, someone was bound to notice my reaction and that someone had been my mother.

For once, I was honest with her about my feelings for Ana. I was also honest about why I would do nothing about it, why I could not risk damaging our friendship in any way.

I knew a day would come when some guy would ask her, and she would say yes, and as much as I dreaded that day. I remained hopeful that our friendship would continue, and I would, in some way, be part of the family she would eventually have. I would be happy with being Uncle Christian. My mother made no effort to hide her tears that night.

"You are staring at me." Her eyes are still closed, but somehow she knows. "You want to tell me about it?" She's looking at me now.

"Tell you about what?" She sat up, straddling my thighs, to my surprise, she leaned forward and kissed me softly. "Ana, I don't think…"

"It's a good idea." She smiled at me, completing my sentence. "Why not?"

"You mean everything to me. Your friendship means everything to me, I can't afford to lose you. I'd rather have your friendship than nothing at all. These last few months, I feel human again, I feel alive, and it might sound selfish, but I can't go back. For the first time in a long time, I am happy, not just content, but happy." I pleaded.

"You will not lose me. I'm not letting you go, you are mine. You want more, Christian, I see it in your eyes, and so do I. We have nothing to lose and certainly not each other." She implored.

"You promise?" My voice was barely above a whisper.

"I promise." She beamed at me. "Now, come with me." She shuffled of my thighs.

"Where are we going?" I asked as she tried to pull me up.

"To do the things people in relationships do." She giggled at how quickly I stood up then.

"Lead the way." And she did.