Narrator: Four people, a diplomat, a preacher, a journalist, and a child. An hour ago they were alive, but a freak accident ended their lives. Now, they shall find out the answer to a question that humanity has asked for thousands of years, what comes after death? A question that one must go to the Twilight Zone to find a satisfactory answer. They will soon learn that there is indeed a pleasant afterlife for some, a horrific afterlife for others. Two of these souls are going to Heaven, the other two to Hell. Which two go where, therein lies our tale.

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These four souls tried to remember exactly what had happenned. Reverand Walker and James were suppossed to have a television debate regarding peace efforts between Israel and Palestine. William was a reporter, he brought both of them on his show for the debate. And little Nadia, as best Will could remember she was the child of an employee who worked at the station. Evidently she had to bring her daughter to work this day. Then, it was blind dumb luck that the four of them wound up in the same elevator. And then, there was the crash. Some safety inspector didn't do their job, and these four payed with their lives. Two men approached these four, one was the angel Michael, the other was Lucifer.

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Lucifer: I come only for what is mine. Some of you are coming with me to Hell.

Michael: I am afraid he is correct. Two of you are destined for Hell.

William: Which two?

Walker: Good question. I gave my life to Christ decades ago so I'm going to Heaven. I'd be suprised if you are also saved, but I could be wrong on that. I'd be even more suprised if this liberal hippy is saved. I supposse God could be merciful enough to let the child in, even though she seems to be muslim.

William: I admit, I never particularly believed in God, clearly I was wrong. I'd certainly like to believe in a just and merciful god right now. It seems to be that this televangelist is an agent of intolerance, preaching hatred of homosexuals and muslims. And this diplomat James, he cavorted with pretty evil dictators. I was always dedicated to the truth, and it seems pretty likely God would let an innocent child into Heaven. So logically, me and the little girl are the ones going to Heaven.

Nadia: My daddy says if you're a good person and worship Allah, you get to Heaven. I think I was a good little girl. I don't know which of you goes to Heaven.

James: My money's on the girl and William.

William: Not yourself? I'm not disagreeing with you, I'm just curious as to why you don't think you're going to Heaven.

James: There's something you don't know about me. My father was a religious fanatic. He said all the muslims were conspiring to destroy America, that gays were all child molestors, and ofcourse that all peace activists were secretly satanists. You'd have liked him reverand. At any rate, as a teenager I renounced God. Then I was approached by Lucifer, although he sounded different from this man. Perhaps he was just a demon servant. At any rate, he said he could help me become a great peace maker, that I could help end the wars that God created just for fun. So, to make a long story, slightly less long, I sold my soul and have secretly worshipped Satan ever since.

Walker: I knew it. All your talk of respecting religious believers was just talk.

James: I did respect them, I just don't respect hate mongers like you. I fought for peace, and if that means I have to burn in Hell for it, so be it.

William: So that's one of us who's going to Hell, which leaves two spots open for Heaven.

Walker: Which will probably be me and the child.

William: Well don't keep us in suspense all day, who goes where?

Michael: Very well. This child, only six years old, is an innocent. She is thoughtful, shares her toys with others, is nice to other children. She belongs in Heaven.

William: And what about me? I admit, I was wrong about not believing in God. I just figured if there was a god, there should be evidence. I was never convinced. Surely you wouldn't send me to Hell for that.

Michael: Not for that, no. You thought you could only be judged by the living, that the dead would have no claim over your soul, but you were wrong.

William: Yes, I was wrong. But I tried to do good in the world, fighting for the truth.

Michael: Did you now? As your country was preparing for war, what questions did you ask? Did you question your leaders?

William: Not as much as I should have. We were all scared after 9/11, all more vengeful.

Michael: Did you ever show the civilians killed in these other countries?

William: I'm an american, my duty was only to my own country.

Michael: I thought you said that your duty was to the truth. The truth is you were more concerned with ratings, with maing money, than you were concerned with your country of the truth.

William: I made mistakes, but I was a good person.

Michael: How many women did you force to have sex with you?

William: I don't remember.

Michael: It was 21. Three of whom you pressured into having abortions. Two of those women had abortions, and their children are in Heaven now. You will never get to see them. But then you abandoned your child, payed no child support or even tried to see the child.

William: Please, I can do better.

Michael: You had your chance to do better, now it is too late.

Walker: I guess that settles it, me and the child go to Heaven.

Michael: What makes you think you are going to Heaven?

Walker: Because I am saved by Jesus Christ. I have preached his word for decades. Have I not spoken in defense of sacred Israel?

Lucifer: Actually, if I remember correctly, you encouraged your followers to fight against any peace agreement between Israel and Palestine. How exactly does keeping their war going benefit Israel?

Walker: I was trying to fulfill God's will, that there can never be peace between jews and muslims.

James: Some god of peace.

Walker: What would you know of God?

James: Enough not to worship a god who is oppossed to peace.

Lucifer: And ofcourse let's not forget his saying "The guns of Hell are aimed at the america family." That one's actually news to me.

Walker: God forgives murderers, he forgives rapists, but he cannot tolerate gay marriage.

Lucifer: Didn't your first marriage end because of your adultery?

Walker: God forgave my sins because I accepted Jesus into my heart.

Michael: So you thought you could sin without consequence?

Walker: My marriag ended, besides it was heterosexual.

Lucifer: Last time I checked the commandments, homosexuality isn't even in the top ten, adultery is. Not to mention getting all of your followers hyped up for war. You bear some responsibility for all those who died in this war. And let us not forget your little real estate scam. Convincing people that they needed to buy your land to get into Heaven.

Walker: I never said that.

Lucifer: You deliberatley implied that. You sold what, five thousands condos, you had barely 100. You didn't even pay taxes on those ones.

Michael: Every effort was made to reach you. How many priests, rabbis, imams, did you preach about heping the poor, about mercy and compassion. But instead, you chose greed, to ignore the suffering of others.

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Walker started crying, begging God to take him back. James made a comment on this "I really don't look forward to being around him for eternity." Then a thought occured to him.

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James: You said two of us are going to Heaven, but William and Walker are both going to Hell. That just leaves the girl, and me?

Michael: Yes, you have fought to make this world a better place, to help the poor, to convince leaders to make peace. You did all of this with no hope of reward, you have earned Heaven.

James: But I sold my soul years ago, I've worshipped Satan himself.

Lucifer: Funny, I don't remember making any deals with you.

James; Perhaps it was one of your minions. You sounded different back then.

Michael: Was it something like this?

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Michael spoke to James, in the same voice he used to first recruit James all those years ago.

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James; You are the one I made this deal with?

Michael: The deal was nothing. You cannot sell your soul, any more than you can get to Heaven merely by saying a prayer. Given your father, we knew you'd never worship God, but perhaps you could do good. You just needed a push in the right direction.

Walker: This cannot be right. A christian preacher goes to Hell, and a satanist goes to Heaven?

James; I'm as suprised as you are.

Michael: Your actions towards others determine where you will spend eternity. Sometimes we try to give you a little nudge in the right direction, but you still have to decide for yourselves. Now, come with me.

Lucifer: We already know which two are coming home with me.

Michael: They must still be judged. You may observe from the neutral space if you like. Now you four come with me.

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Narrator: Four souls who have discovered, albeit too late, what happens when they die. Who goes to Heaven and who goes to Hell is a question that humans have debated for thousands of years. We offer this theory. Food for thought, in the Twilight Zone.