Chiaki: Hello, everyone!
Draco: Oh God, not again...
Chiaki: It's time for one of my stupid humour fics that don't really have much point!
Draco: Very well said.
Chiaki: Wow, a compliment? O.O
Draco: Forget I said that.
Chiaki: Uh... yeah. Okay, anyway, this story is dedicated to Jamie, who emailed me saying he wanted 'a H/D fic with a unique flavour'. Well, I hope it's unique enough for ya! ^.~
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I LOVE YOU, PLUSHIE!
Draco Malfoy poked at his quill with his wand. It was the beginning of another dull Transfiguration class, and he had fallen asleep in his last class, which meant he probably would in this one too. Bored, he withdrew his gaze from his quill and looked over at Harry Potter, who was sitting with Ron on the desk next to Draco's. How he loathed that Potter. How he hated the way he was always surrounded by friends and had never given Draco another chance of friendship since their first year.
'But why should I care?' Draco thought.
Just then, Professor McGonagall came striding into the room, carrying a very thick textbook and a wand.
"Now," she began, looking around at the class. "Professor Dumbledore had requested that I teach you to perform quite a -how should I put it?- STRANGE type of transfiguration. You will be divided into pairs and one of you will come and collect a piece of parchment with the instructions on. You will then perform the task." She pulled out a long list of names and started calling them out.
"Patil will partner Granger." Hermione pulled her back and huge books over to Parvati's desk and sat down.
"Longbottom will work with Goyle." Neville reluctantly did the same.
"Brown and Parkinson." Lavender warily sat down next to Pansy, who glared at her angrily.
"Potter and Malfoy." Draco froze in his seat. What the hell was that old bag thinking?! Pairing HIM, Draco, with Potter of all people?
Realising there wasn't much he could do about it anyway, he grudgingly packed his things into his bag and slumped into the chair next to Harry, who was staring at the blackboard at the front of the class with a glazed look over his eyes. Ron got paired up with Crabbe, and he kept shooting murderous glances across the room at Draco, as if to say "You touch Harry and I'll skin you alive". Of course, Draco wasn't in the least bit intimidated. He knew he could beat Weasley single-handed. Well, probably.
"Get a move on, Potter, we haven't got all day!" Draco snapped. Harry snapped out of his daze and went up to the front of the class to collect the instructions. Draco sighed and looked away, noticed Pansy blowing him a kiss, and tried not to chuck up his lunch all over the desk. Harry soon arrived back and dumped the parchment in front of Draco, who skimmed through it before bursting into peals of laughter.
"What?" Harry asked, and read it too. He merely frowned, looking at Draco with a confused look on his face. Draco stopped laughing to look at Harry.
'God, he looks so cute when he's all stumped like that,' Draco thought. 'WHAT?! I did not think that. I didn't think that.'
"What's with this thing?" Harry asked, looking at the instructions again. "We have to turn our partner-"
"-into a plushie!" finished Draco, starting to laugh again. "Why the hell did old Dumb-as-a-door give us this crappy work?"
"Dunno," Harry muttered. "But we'd better get on with it before McGonagall comes." Draco merely nodded, and they both read through the instructions again.
"So who's gonna do it?" asked Draco. Harry gave him another confused look. Draco rolled his eyes. How could this kid be so dense?
"Who's gonna perform the spell? And who's gonna be the victim?" he added with an evil grin. Harry shrugged.
"Wait a second. YOU collected the instructions so YOU get to be turned into a plushie!" said Draco happily, yanking his wand out of his bag. "Say cheese!" Draco was about to raise his wand, when Harry took out HIS wand, pointed it at Draco and cried "Plushio!". (A/N: 'Plushio'?! Where did that come from?! XDD)
Draco immediately felt sick. He looked down and noticed that his legs were going funny. They were made of... cotton!
"Potter?! What the hell did you-" But he couldn't finish his sentence, because the next moment, he had shrunk and his whole body had become all soft and funny like those cute little plushies you see on the 'net. Harry stared at Draco and poked him with his wand.
"Ow!" Draco cried. "Quit it, I can't move, you know!" But it seemed like Harry couldn't even hear Draco, because he had continued poking him with his wand.
"Potter! I said stop it!" Draco yelled at the top of his squeaky plushie voice, but to no avail. Harry yanked him up by one leg and took him over to the desk where Ron was working, who burst out laughing when he saw the wickle Draco plush.
"It's not funny!" Draco said angrily, though he knew there was no point talking anyway. "Change me back now!" But Harry didn't. Even at the end of the class when McGonagall told them to reverse the spell, he didn't.
When the bell rang, Harry, Ron and Hermione walked out of the class together, Harry still holding the Draco plushie.
"Don't you think someone will notice that he's not back to normal size?" Hermione asked, looking worried. "You could get into big trouble, Harry." But Ron was being incredibly optimistic about the whole idea of letting Draco live his life as a stuffed toy.
"Oh, come on, Hermione! No-one cares about Malfoy anyway, so why would they miss him?" he said, grinning. Draco was outraged.
"YOU TAKE THAT BACK, WEASLEY!" he yelled, trying to move his legs so he could kick Harry's hand out of the way and attack Ron.
They arrived at the Gryffindor Common Room, and the three of them sat on one of the red couches, staring at Draco.
"Do you think he can talk?" Harry asked thoughtfully, giving him a poke in the stomach.
"Ow! Watch it, Potter."
"Maybe he CAN talk!" Hermione said. "Maybe we just can't hear him."
"Wow, whoever thought the Mudblood could be so useful?" Draco muttered.
"I know what to do!" Hermione exclaimed, and she reached into her bag, pulled out her wand and cried "Sonorus!"
"Good idea, Hermione!" Ron said happily. Hermione smiled.
"Hey! Potter, you stupid sod! Can you hear me yet?!" Draco asked, his voice magnified.
"At least we know it's still you, Malfoy," he said angrily.
"Why the heck didn't you change me back in the lesson, you prat?!" Draco shouted angrily.
"I thought you'd like to have a bit of fun," said Harry, smiling. Draco would have crossed his arms but he couldn't.
"Well, if this is fun, I must be really stupid to not realise it," he said, glaring at the three of them.
"Hermione, take the Sonorus spell off him," said Harry, and Hermione did as he told her.
"NO! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!" Draco yelled.
"What are you planning to do with him?" asked Ron, staring at the plushie.
"Well, I'm gonna change him back. But first I'm going to have some fun," Harry said, a smirk creeping onto his face.
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Chiaki: I want a Draco plushie! :(
Draco: Nobody cares.
Chiaki: You're just in a bad mood 'cos I made you look stupid again like in the ferret fic.
Draco: No I'm not!
Chiaki: But it's gonna get worse in chapter 2!
Draco: Thank you for that. *Faints*
Chiaki: *Pokes* Is he dead? O.O Oh well, the next chapter is coming soon! ^^
Draco: Nuu... X_x;
Draco: Oh God, not again...
Chiaki: It's time for one of my stupid humour fics that don't really have much point!
Draco: Very well said.
Chiaki: Wow, a compliment? O.O
Draco: Forget I said that.
Chiaki: Uh... yeah. Okay, anyway, this story is dedicated to Jamie, who emailed me saying he wanted 'a H/D fic with a unique flavour'. Well, I hope it's unique enough for ya! ^.~
-------------
I LOVE YOU, PLUSHIE!
Draco Malfoy poked at his quill with his wand. It was the beginning of another dull Transfiguration class, and he had fallen asleep in his last class, which meant he probably would in this one too. Bored, he withdrew his gaze from his quill and looked over at Harry Potter, who was sitting with Ron on the desk next to Draco's. How he loathed that Potter. How he hated the way he was always surrounded by friends and had never given Draco another chance of friendship since their first year.
'But why should I care?' Draco thought.
Just then, Professor McGonagall came striding into the room, carrying a very thick textbook and a wand.
"Now," she began, looking around at the class. "Professor Dumbledore had requested that I teach you to perform quite a -how should I put it?- STRANGE type of transfiguration. You will be divided into pairs and one of you will come and collect a piece of parchment with the instructions on. You will then perform the task." She pulled out a long list of names and started calling them out.
"Patil will partner Granger." Hermione pulled her back and huge books over to Parvati's desk and sat down.
"Longbottom will work with Goyle." Neville reluctantly did the same.
"Brown and Parkinson." Lavender warily sat down next to Pansy, who glared at her angrily.
"Potter and Malfoy." Draco froze in his seat. What the hell was that old bag thinking?! Pairing HIM, Draco, with Potter of all people?
Realising there wasn't much he could do about it anyway, he grudgingly packed his things into his bag and slumped into the chair next to Harry, who was staring at the blackboard at the front of the class with a glazed look over his eyes. Ron got paired up with Crabbe, and he kept shooting murderous glances across the room at Draco, as if to say "You touch Harry and I'll skin you alive". Of course, Draco wasn't in the least bit intimidated. He knew he could beat Weasley single-handed. Well, probably.
"Get a move on, Potter, we haven't got all day!" Draco snapped. Harry snapped out of his daze and went up to the front of the class to collect the instructions. Draco sighed and looked away, noticed Pansy blowing him a kiss, and tried not to chuck up his lunch all over the desk. Harry soon arrived back and dumped the parchment in front of Draco, who skimmed through it before bursting into peals of laughter.
"What?" Harry asked, and read it too. He merely frowned, looking at Draco with a confused look on his face. Draco stopped laughing to look at Harry.
'God, he looks so cute when he's all stumped like that,' Draco thought. 'WHAT?! I did not think that. I didn't think that.'
"What's with this thing?" Harry asked, looking at the instructions again. "We have to turn our partner-"
"-into a plushie!" finished Draco, starting to laugh again. "Why the hell did old Dumb-as-a-door give us this crappy work?"
"Dunno," Harry muttered. "But we'd better get on with it before McGonagall comes." Draco merely nodded, and they both read through the instructions again.
"So who's gonna do it?" asked Draco. Harry gave him another confused look. Draco rolled his eyes. How could this kid be so dense?
"Who's gonna perform the spell? And who's gonna be the victim?" he added with an evil grin. Harry shrugged.
"Wait a second. YOU collected the instructions so YOU get to be turned into a plushie!" said Draco happily, yanking his wand out of his bag. "Say cheese!" Draco was about to raise his wand, when Harry took out HIS wand, pointed it at Draco and cried "Plushio!". (A/N: 'Plushio'?! Where did that come from?! XDD)
Draco immediately felt sick. He looked down and noticed that his legs were going funny. They were made of... cotton!
"Potter?! What the hell did you-" But he couldn't finish his sentence, because the next moment, he had shrunk and his whole body had become all soft and funny like those cute little plushies you see on the 'net. Harry stared at Draco and poked him with his wand.
"Ow!" Draco cried. "Quit it, I can't move, you know!" But it seemed like Harry couldn't even hear Draco, because he had continued poking him with his wand.
"Potter! I said stop it!" Draco yelled at the top of his squeaky plushie voice, but to no avail. Harry yanked him up by one leg and took him over to the desk where Ron was working, who burst out laughing when he saw the wickle Draco plush.
"It's not funny!" Draco said angrily, though he knew there was no point talking anyway. "Change me back now!" But Harry didn't. Even at the end of the class when McGonagall told them to reverse the spell, he didn't.
When the bell rang, Harry, Ron and Hermione walked out of the class together, Harry still holding the Draco plushie.
"Don't you think someone will notice that he's not back to normal size?" Hermione asked, looking worried. "You could get into big trouble, Harry." But Ron was being incredibly optimistic about the whole idea of letting Draco live his life as a stuffed toy.
"Oh, come on, Hermione! No-one cares about Malfoy anyway, so why would they miss him?" he said, grinning. Draco was outraged.
"YOU TAKE THAT BACK, WEASLEY!" he yelled, trying to move his legs so he could kick Harry's hand out of the way and attack Ron.
They arrived at the Gryffindor Common Room, and the three of them sat on one of the red couches, staring at Draco.
"Do you think he can talk?" Harry asked thoughtfully, giving him a poke in the stomach.
"Ow! Watch it, Potter."
"Maybe he CAN talk!" Hermione said. "Maybe we just can't hear him."
"Wow, whoever thought the Mudblood could be so useful?" Draco muttered.
"I know what to do!" Hermione exclaimed, and she reached into her bag, pulled out her wand and cried "Sonorus!"
"Good idea, Hermione!" Ron said happily. Hermione smiled.
"Hey! Potter, you stupid sod! Can you hear me yet?!" Draco asked, his voice magnified.
"At least we know it's still you, Malfoy," he said angrily.
"Why the heck didn't you change me back in the lesson, you prat?!" Draco shouted angrily.
"I thought you'd like to have a bit of fun," said Harry, smiling. Draco would have crossed his arms but he couldn't.
"Well, if this is fun, I must be really stupid to not realise it," he said, glaring at the three of them.
"Hermione, take the Sonorus spell off him," said Harry, and Hermione did as he told her.
"NO! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!" Draco yelled.
"What are you planning to do with him?" asked Ron, staring at the plushie.
"Well, I'm gonna change him back. But first I'm going to have some fun," Harry said, a smirk creeping onto his face.
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Chiaki: I want a Draco plushie! :(
Draco: Nobody cares.
Chiaki: You're just in a bad mood 'cos I made you look stupid again like in the ferret fic.
Draco: No I'm not!
Chiaki: But it's gonna get worse in chapter 2!
Draco: Thank you for that. *Faints*
Chiaki: *Pokes* Is he dead? O.O Oh well, the next chapter is coming soon! ^^
Draco: Nuu... X_x;