Qrow glared at the enemy before him: a giant, slobbering monster of black and white fur, scarier than any Grimm he had faced before. The alcohol from earlier mixed with adrenaline to course through his veins, and he narrowed his red eyes. "You're on my turf," Qrow thought. "You're going down…"

The monster growled, Qrow ruffled his feathers, and the two of them raced toward each other for the kill. Qrow was inches away from collision, determined to protect his family, determined to destroy this monster once and for all.

"Qrow?"

Qrow stopped abruptly, seconds before contact, and whipped around.

Taiyang Xiao Long stood on his front lawn, holding a flashlight and looking thoroughly confused. "What are you doing?"

Qrow turned back to the monster, who was bent forward and poised for attack. "I'll explain later, Tai," he said.

Taiyang sighed. "You know I can't understand you when you're a bird."

Qrow stared back at him for a second. "Am I a bird?" he thought blankly. "Shit, am I so drunk I can't even tell what I am anymore? How long have I been a bird?"

He turned back into a human, and Tai gave him a disappointed look.

"Are you drunk?"

"I… uh…" Qrow shook his head violently. "That's not important, Tai, there's a monster on your lawn. Grab Ruby and Yang, and get them to safety, and I'll take care of it." He swung around, pulling Harbinger off of his back and standing at the ready, but the giant monster at vanished.

"Ruff! Ruff!"

Qrow blinked, and looked down by his feet to see a small dog, wagging its tail and panting with excitement at a new human to provide belly rubs and treats.

Qrow jumped back in surprise, tripping and landing on his back in the grass. The dog leapt over to him, sniffing his hair curiously.

"Well, I'm glad to see Ruby, Yang, and I are protected from this ferocious monster by such a capable huntsmen," Tai said, appearing over Qrow.

"I… I don't…"

Tai chuckled and sat on the grass, "come here, Zwei,"

The dog stopped sniffing Qrow's hair and raced over to Tai, jumping excitedly into his lap and licking him in the face.

Qrow sat up, staring at the dog in bewilderment and trying to process what had happened. A few seconds ago, hadn't he just been fighting a Grimm? How had the Grimm turned into a dog? Not breaking eye contact with Zwei, he reached into his shirt and pulled out his flask.

"Probably not the best idea right now," Tai remarked, "seeing as you're already drunk enough to accidentally turn into a bird and fight the family dog."

Qrow thought about it and stashed the flask for now. "When did you get a dog?" he asked hoarsely.

"A few weeks ago." Tai held Zwei up, and the dog stuck out his front paws like a superhero. "The girls found him when coming home from Signal one day. Yang was carrying a turkey in her bag, and the dog smelled it, and followed her home."

Qrow snickered. "Why was Yang carrying a turkey in her bag?"

"Because she's fourteen and she doesn't need me making her lunch anymore."

Qrow raised an eyebrow. Tai sighed.

"She said she wanted to make her own sandwich, and I told her, as a joke, 'please don't put the whole turkey in your backpack', so naturally that's exactly what she did."

Qrow laughed. "She's a little firecracker, isn't she?"

"Tell me about it…" Tai chuckled. "When Zwei came in, he had no collar. We checked with the vet, but he's got no chip and no owner. Ruby and Yang pleaded to keep him, and how could I say no to this face?" Tai held Zwei up to Qrow, and both man and dog made heartwrenching puppy eyes.

Qrow began to laugh again, and Tai joined in. He set the dog on the grass to punch Qrow on the shoulder. "I'm glad you're back,"

"Really?" Qrow asked hoarsely. He snorted. "I've been here five minutes, and I've already torn up your garden and fought your dog."

Tai shrugged. "Zwei's a fighter. Isn't he? Isn't he?" Zwei leaned forward and wagged his tail in excitement. Tai lunged for the barking puppy, who started frantically licking the man's face. "The girls'll be happy you're back too,"

Qrow gave a small smile. Sometimes, out on the battlefield, Ruby and Yang were the only thoughts that inspired him to keep fighting.

"Granted, you did just attack their new best friend."

Qrow snorted, and narrowed his eyes at the dog, who stopped his licking assault on Tai to glare back. "He started it…"

Tai laughed, punching Qrow on the shoulder again.

Qrow's stomach gave a loud, low rumble, and he became acutely aware of how long it'd been since he'd eaten. "Did I miss dinner?" he asked.

Tai rolled his eyes. "Judging by the fact that it's two in the morning, I'd say so…"

Qrow groaned.

"And make no mistake, the girls'll be screaming at six when they come down for breakfast and see you passed out on the couch, so I'd suggest getting some sleep while you can," Tai remarked, setting Zwei down on the grass and pushing himself up. He extended a hand down to Qrow, who took it and felt himself yanked up by his friend.

"Six is ungodly…" he groaned.

"You can always spend the night in the yard and saunter in when you're awake."

Qrow shook his head, pulling open the door and stepping in. The familiar view of the Xiao Long residence greeted him with its wood-paneled walls and comfy green furniture. He picked up the scent of burnt chocolate and took a deep inhale. Ruby and Yang must've attempted to make cookies: they had certainly not mastered Summer's craft…

"Nah," he said, collapsing onto the couch in the family room. "I'll suffer through the morning for them." He pulled a pillow over his head and started to snore.

"I'll suffer through anything for them."