For the Buddie First Kiss Week Day 7 Prompt: Author's Choice - Let's call it "By Request"

Christmas has always been one of Buck's favorite holidays. His parents had often been distant and usually forgot most events, but Christmas was like a sacred pact in their house. They put up too many decorations. They bought or made too many gifts. Maddie always made sure to bake Buck's favorite cookies. His parents were present and happy. It was the only holiday where they truly felt like a family.

So Buck really liked Christmas, ok? That's why he felt so honored by Eddie asking him to come with them to see Santa that first year, even if they didn't spend the actual holiday together. That's why he was adamantly against them ordering takeout for Christmas dinner at the station the year after that. Christmas was for family and togetherness and all the food you could stuff in your face.

During Eddie's third Christmas season with the 118, Buck was busy planning another Christmas party, this time at his loft. Obviously not everyone could make it, but Buck's main friends could. They'd all worked last Christmas, so they all got the day off this year. Anyway, his loft wasn't big enough to fit every firefighter in the station.

"Hey, Buck?"

A week before Christmas, Eddie had once again invited Buck out to stroll through a little Christmas village and meet Santa. They had paused to get something to eat before getting in line. Buck and Chris were nursing some pretty delicious ice cream while Eddie stood in line to buy hot chocolate.

"Yeah, bud?" Buck asked, looking across their little table at the small boy.

"This year, I think I gotta ask you for something too. Not just Santa," Chris said. He was poking his ice cream but not eating it, which was unusual.

"You know I'd give you anything," Buck said enthusiastically before remembering a conversation he and Eddie had had about not spoiling Chris. Then he added, "I mean, I'd try at least."

Chris nodded seriously, stopping his fidgeting with his spoon securely stuck in his ice cream. "It's not really for me. I need you to give something to Daddy."

Oh! Be still, Buck's heart! This kid was too good, too pure! "That is so sweet, Chris. What did you need me to get your dad?"

Whatever it was, Chris was thinking pretty hard about it, so it must be important. But if Buck would give anything and everything to Chris, then there wasn't a measurement for what Buck would give to Eddie. Buck loved the two of them beyond words. He would do anything for them, anything to stay a part of this little family – forever.

"I need you to give him a kiss." Chris finally looked up from his ice cream. "He's been weird. Like maybe he's sad. When I'm sad, he gives me a kiss and I feel better. I tried giving him a kiss, but he's still sad. So now you gotta try."

Buck was sure he was blushing all down his neck. The sentiment was adorable, of course, but the idea of kissing Eddie – God, Buck had been avoiding thinking about it for so long. He'd imagined it too often to do anything other than blush under the weight of the opportunity. Chris probably meant a peck on the cheek, but even that was more than Buck had ever dared to try. Kissing was not something friends did.

"O-Oh yeah? Why me? Why not Abuela? Or Pepa?" Buck asked, ice cream forgotten.

"Because," Chris said matter-of-factly, finally scooping up some of his sweet strawberry treat. "He looks saddest after you leave. So you gotta be the one to kiss him and tell him everything's okay."

It was so sweet. The idea that Eddie smiled at him when he left for the night and told him to drive safe – the idea that Eddie was actually sad to see him go. It was sweet. Really it was. But Buck couldn't help but wonder what was really bothering Eddie. What was so heavy that he didn't think he could tell Buck about it, that he had to hide it until he thought he was alone?

Buck put a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth to give himself a moment, but the treat melted quickly and he reflexively swallowed it. "I'll – I'll see what I can do. Okay?"

"Okay." Chris nodded, content. "I know Daddy will love it if it's from you. Because he loves you almost as much as he loves me."

"Well those are pretty big shoes to fill," Buck admitted, trying to divert the conversation back onto safe teasing subjects. "I know because I love you more too."

Chris smiled shyly. "No you don't," he said, but he didn't sound upset. "You love Daddy more. But that's okay. I love him more too. No offense."

"None taken," Buck said, but his breath was nearly a whisper.

He felt exposed. He knew Chris was only nine, but kids were perceptive. They saw things. Chris saw Buck. More importantly, Chris saw Buck's love for Eddie. It was as amazing as it was terrifying. Buck loved that Chris knew him and understood him and still wanted to be around him. He wouldn't change one thing about Chris – not unless Chris really wanted to change. Buck wasn't against haircuts or new fashion styles, and if some miracle drug came out tomorrow that could make it so Chris didn't have CP and Chris wanted to try it, Buck would be right there with him. But honestly, he loved Chris just the way he was. And Chris saw Buck's love for Eddie, and he smiled at Buck and told him it was okay.

Buck might cry.

Eddie returned then, proudly handing Chris his small cup of cocoa and then handing Buck one that was at least twice the size. "Hot drinks, as requested," he announced with all the pomp and circumstance he could.

Buck laughed. "What is this, Eddie?" he asked, picking up the huge drink. "Are you trying to give me a sugar coma? This thing won't even be hot by the time I finish half of it."

The older man smiled, shaking his head. "I got a bigger one so we could share. I mean, I got to the window and realized I only have two hands, so I decided to just get two drinks and I didn't think you'd mind."

"Oh!" Buck's eyebrows shot up. "I don't. Yeah, man, we can share."

"Good, because I already had a sip while waiting for Chris'," Eddie admitted, scratching the back of his neck.

It was stupid how quick Buck picked up the cup and took a swig. It was also stupid how hot the drink was. Buck winced but otherwise fought back the urge to react. He set the cup down a little too forcefully but nothing spilled. Then he resumed eating his ice cream. The chill was relief in a spoon and he couldn't help the little moan the eased out of him.

"You –?" Eddie cleared his throat. "You okay there, Buck?"

"'m fine," he mumbled around his ice cream. Chris giggled.

"Well don't burn yourself," Eddie warned and took a seat beside Buck.

Not beside Chris. Beside Buck. The blonde looked up at the darkening sky above them and prayed for stability. Chris had to go and plant some kind of seed of, what, hope? And then Eddie bought them a drink to share and sat so damn close. Buck took a slow breath, quiet so as not to draw attention while Eddie struck up conversation with his son. Buck just needed to calm down and get in his normal headspace. He'd spent months and months and months not acting on his feelings for Eddie. He could keep it up forever, and he would.

They took Chris to see Santa and let him walk up on his own as usual. When he was done, Chris gave a little sneaky smile at Buck that made Buck's stomach knot up anxiously. He'd told Chris he'd help with his Christmas wish, but… He couldn't just kiss Eddie. He couldn't. It would open up a box he'd been slamming shut for too long.

But he could try to make Eddie feel better. He could do that. So he kept an eye on Eddie, more than he normally did anyway. He couldn't exactly look at Eddie when he wasn't around, which is when Chris claimed he was saddest, but he could look for signs while they were together.

Eddie seemed normal at work. He was efficient on calls and passably conversational at meal times. He smiled and laughed and knocked shoulders with Buck and had come backs for his jokes. He invited Buck to lunch and challenged him to video games. It was business as usual.

Except Buck did notice the way Eddie frowned. When Buck walked out of sight, he'd wait a moment and then lean back around the corner and see Eddie in a different light. It was like a weight was resting on him, like he was feeling just a little bit lost. And Buck didn't understand why Eddie would hide it. Why wouldn't he talk to Buck about it?

"You alright, man?" he asked when it was just the two of them in the loft. Eddie was sitting at the bar, finishing a sandwich and Buck was leaning on the counter near him.

"Yeah, why?" Eddie asked, innocent and honest. Then his mouth was full of food.

"You sure nothing's bothering you? Not even a little bit?" Buck pressed, leaning closer. "Not feeling any kind of general unease or seasonal depression or Christmas induced loneliness?"

Eddie swallowed his food and gave a suspicious look at Buck. "The only unease I'm experiencing right now is about whatever you're planning. What's going on, Buck?"

"Nothing." Buck frowned and gave Eddie a once over.

He looked fine, but Buck knew something was bothering him. Nothing a kiss would fix – sorry, Chris – but something. But they were best friends. Why wouldn't Eddie confide in him? What would be bothering him that he felt he had to hide from Buck? There were no new bruises so it wasn't street fighting. He didn't have the time or money to be involved in drugs. Chris hadn't mentioned anything wrong with himself, so it wasn't about Chris.

So maybe –

Buck had been extremely careful not to reveal his continent-sized crush on Eddie to anyone. Like, yeah, he was tactile and overly friendly and spent all his time with Eddie and Chris, but he didn't let his touches linger and he didn't do silly things like kiss Eddie's cheek or head. He jokingly denied any suggestive comments made by his sister or the team. He made it clear they were just friends. And he tried to up how touchy he was with everyone else too – giving pats on the back and sitting too close – all so no one had any concrete evidence of Buck's affections.

But maybe Eddie had figured it out? Or more likely, everyone's comments were getting to him. All the teases and jokes and insinuations were making Eddie uncomfortable but he was too nice to say anything to Buck. Their friendship was important to both of them, so of course Eddie didn't want to ruin it, but maybe he wanted Buck to tone it down. Just enough so the comments would stop. Just that much, right? Nothing worse.

That might be something Eddie would stress about only when Buck's back was turned. That could be the little extra weight on his shoulders, the shadows under his eyes. Because how did you ask your best friend to… stop being them? Asking Buck to dial back his emotions would be like asking a bird not to fly. It would be like asking Eddie not to smile when he saw his son. It simply couldn't be done. They wouldn't be best friends if Buck couldn't be himself. The thought stung Buck, so of course a similar thought had to be hurting Eddie.

Buck couldn't fix a problem like that. Not without pulling away. He didn't want to pull away. He wanted to be closer. Especially at Christmas, because Christmas was for family and the Diaz men were his family as much as Maddie.

Christmas morning came while Buck was working. He leaned back against the truck he'd just cleaned and smiled down at the photos Eddie texted him – Chris and Eddie in matching PJs next to a small stack of presents, Chris carefully peeling off wrapping paper so there was less mess, Chris' face when he saw the new toy Buck had gotten him for Christmas, and Eddie with the simplest, warmest smile as he held up his wrist to show off the watch Buck had gotten him. Eddie had busted his watch on a call several months ago, so Buck had made it his mission to get him a new one. When Buck had suggested the idea, Eddie had lamented on the cost of a good watch and asked him not to. Buck did it anyway and simply wouldn't tell Eddie how much the thing cost.

Because it was Christmas. And Eddie was worth it.

The last photo was a simple stack of two gifts with Buck's name listed in clear letters on the tags. He had those to look forward to later. Dropping his head back against the truck, he let out a happy sigh and was glad no one was around to see him.

Three cups of coffee and several hours later, Buck was still awake and putting the final touches on his apartment for the party. Just after lunch, Eddie let himself into the apartment with the spare key and then held the door for Chris.

"Help has arrived," Eddie called and shut the door behind him. He whistled when he saw the state of the apartment. "Christmas is really a big thing for you, isn't it?"

Buck had to admit he may have gone a bit overboard. Tinsel and garland and those obnoxious big tree balls that came straight from magazines were hung all over the apartment; he'd gotten fake snowflakes and Santa stickers for the windows and there was a tree that would sing carols if you walked in front of it; the candle on the kitchen island was putting off the smell of fir trees and peppermint while a fake Christmas fireplace ran on repeat on the TV; and to top it all off, a large tree decorated within an inch of its life with a mixture of store bought and handmade ornaments. Every member of Buck's little found-family was featured on an ornament.

Eddie was lifting one for closer inspection when Buck came downstairs to see them.

"This is great, Buck," he said, a little in awe. Buck preened under the praise.

"Took some work, but everyone's there," he said. "You and Chris are on the left there."

The ornament featured a photo from Christopher's birthday party. Eddie was hugging Chris from behind and they were smiling up at the camera – at Buck – and looking like everything Buck wanted. They were happy, warm, together, and he remembered how immediate their smiles were when he pulled out his phone for the photo, like they were just happy he'd come over to see them.

"That's sweet." Eddie straightened up from his slouch and smiled at Buck, just like in the photo. Buck's heart might burst. "Hey, how about you go lie down for a bit? Chris and I can finish putting up ornaments or whatever's left. I'm guessing you haven't made your casserole since the place doesn't also smell like spices and chicken, so I'll throw that in when the time comes too, okay?"

"Eddie, I'm fine. I can finish this," Buck assured, but his head actually had begun feeling foggy a few minutes ago. There was only so far caffeine could drag you before your body couldn't continue after all. But he didn't want Eddie feeling obligated either.

Eddie shook his head and led Buck toward the stairs, his hand on the small of Buck's back. "You can't sweet talk your way out of this one, Buck. Just tell me where the casserole is and then get your butt in bed so you can be bright eyed for this party."

There would be no winning this one, so Buck acquiesced. "It's on the bottom shelf of the fridge. Bake it at 425 for thirty minutes." Eddie nodded like he was committing the information to his permanent memory and Buck felt himself begin to sag as he gave in to exhaustion. "Thanks, Eddie."

"Of course. I've got you," Eddie assured. He had that smile on again. "I'll wake you up when it's time to get ready."

So Buck climbed the stairs and into bed. For a few minutes, he listened to the sounds of Chris and Eddie shuffling around downstairs – trying to be quiet but giggling every once in awhile. Buck smiled sleepily. This was a sound he could fall asleep to for the rest of his life. So fall asleep is just what he did.

Sometime later, a gentle hand on his arm drew him from a dreamless sleep. Eddie smiled down at him, and Buck couldn't help but smile back.

"Hey."

"Hey," Eddie repeated. "Come on. Party starts in two hours. Gotta get yourself all pretty for it."

Buck moaned sleepily as he stretched. "M always pretty," he argued and then pushed himself up anyway. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and ran his hands over his face to try to wake himself up more.

Eddie gave a little chuckle, but the smile on his face seemed a little less relaxed, less sure. He rubbed the back of his neck in that way he only did when he was nervous, but he tried to hide it by turning away. All of these ticks had never happened around Buck before. He was sure of it. But now they did and he just wished he knew why.

"Eddie," he called, and Eddie turned back around to look at him on the bed. "Man, I wish you would stop hiding from me. I don't know what's bothering you, but I want to help." He ducked his head, remembering all of his brainstorming. "I mean, is it something I did? Didn't do?"

"No." Eddie shook his head and his voice was like a judge's gavel, ending that train of thought. "No, Buck. It's not you. I mean, I'm fine. It's nothing."

Despite his best efforts, Buck frowned. "Right. Sure." He rubbed his nose and looked away from Eddie's unhelpful gaze. "Right," he said again. "It's just… Christopher told me you were unhappy, or at least you looked like it when you thought no one was looking. And I've seen it too. I guess I just can't figure out what could be so bad that you wouldn't talk to me about it."

There was a brief moment of silence and then Eddie sank down on the bed beside him. He sighed. "I want to tell you everything," he admitted. "But this… thing? It's not anyone's responsibility but mine. Okay? So don't worry about it. It doesn't change anything."

But it did. Because whatever it was felt like a sign – a sign that said Buck wasn't close enough, wasn't trusted enough. It was stupid. Buck knew Eddie trusted him implicitly. Whatever was going on with him, he just needed space. He didn't need Buck bugging him about it.

"Chris said I had to make you feel better, that whatever was making you sad had something to do with me," Buck admitted.

Eddie's eyebrows rose. "He what?" His eyes glanced to the railing of the loft and then back. "No. You're not making me sad, Buck. Okay?" He ran a hand over his face. "Dios. I just need some time to sort through some thoughts… some feelings. I didn't want to worry you, but I promise it won't change anything between us. Alright?"

He leaned in as he said it, bumped their shoulders together. The moment their bodies connected, Buck heard Chris in his head. "You gotta be the one to kiss him and tell him everything's okay." And Buck wanted to. Whatever was bothering Eddie, Buck wanted to be the person Eddie came to about it.

"Everything –" Buck swallowed thickly. This was emotional suicide, but he wanted – He wanted to.

"Buck?" Eddie looked over at him, brow drawn low with concern.

"Everything's gonna be okay," Buck said. Then he dipped his head, leaned close, and kissed Eddie on the cheek.

His lips lingered there too long, even when he pulled back, just hovering by the skin. His eyes stayed closed as he committed the feeling of Eddie's skin on his lips to memory. Beside him, Eddie let out a slow, soft breath.

"Buck?" he asked, tentative. He sounded so unsure but also maybe hopeful? Maybe Buck was projecting. He felt like his heart was going to beat right out of his chest.

"Sorry," Buck murmured, putting a few inches between them. "I just – I'm sorry."

He could play it off as sleep deprivation. Eddie might even let him get away with a lie like that.

"Don't say sorry," Eddie said, and his voice had dropped to a whisper. His eyes glanced toward the balcony, like he was worried they'd be overheard, but they returned to Buck's face quickly. He leaned closer, but hesitated and aborted the movement. "Say everything's gonna be okay."

Buck felt a little dizzy, but this time it wasn't from lack of sleep. He knew a move like that. He'd done it plenty of times in his life – the movement of a better-thought kiss. He knew it and he wasn't going to pass it up. So he met Eddie halfway and tilted his head just a bit so he could kiss him properly. Eddie sucked a breath in through his nose and slid his hand up Buck's neck to hold him in place.

It was a Christmas miracle. Buck was kissing Eddie and Eddie was kissing Buck.

"Everything's gonna be okay," Buck said in the small space between their lips. "We're gonna be okay."

And he believed it with his whole body. He loved Eddie so god damned much, and Eddie was sitting on his bed, kissing him. It had to be a good sign. It had to mean something, right? Like maybe Eddie liked him back almost as much?

"Okay," Eddie said. His thumb caressed Buck's throat. "I was stressing out, and it was about you, but not like you think."

"You need to elaborate immediately," Buck said, because his anxiety was already on overdrive.

"I – I realized how much I – I like you. And I was so scared I was going to mess this up and scare you away. I didn't want you to see," Eddie confessed, in turns ducking his head to hide himself and then looking up to search Buck's face for a reaction.

Buck was starting to grin because all of his anxiety had turned into bubbles. He felt elated. "Eddie," he scolded without heat. "You should know – We've been doing this all wrong. We both hid when we both should have just done something about it."

"Something?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah. Something." Buck leaned in and captured Eddie's lips again. "Several somethings, in fact."

He didn't know how long they sat there, trading quiet, soft kisses, but eventually Christopher's voice carried up the stairs.

"You guys okay up there?" he asked. "It's too quiet."

"Yeah, buddy!" Eddie called back. "Your Buck is just a heavy sleeper. That's all."

"Tell him to get up," Chris said. "He needs to get dressed, and you need to work the oven."

Buck snorted. He kept his voice low so Christopher wouldn't hear when he said, "We're being kept on schedule by an eight-year-old. What is this world coming to?"

The response he got was a warm, glowing smile and one last quick kiss. "A better world," Eddie said like a promise. He stood and offered his hand to Buck. "Come on."

Buck took the hand, because of course he did.

They finished getting ready for the party, and the casserole came out of the oven just as the first guests arrived. Soon everyone Buck loved was crowding into his apartment, talking and laughing and eating. He felt so full and happy and it had nothing to do with the alcohol or the food. Christmas was a family tradition, and this was the third year he'd gotten to celebrate it with everyone he considered family – the 118, Maddie, Carla and her family, and especially Eddie and Chris.

Always Eddie and Chris.

Near the end of the party, Chris started to get sleepy. Eddie was prepared to leave at once, but Christopher shook his head and reached for Buck, so Buck offered to let him sleep on the bed until Eddie decided enough was enough.

He carried the boy up the stairs and helped him get situated in the large bed. He took off his glasses and set them aside, then Buck tucked him in nice and snug. Just as Buck was about to leave him to sleep, Chris caught his arm.

"Thanks, Buck," he murmured sleepily.

"For what?" Buck ran his fingers through Chris' untidy curls and thought how lucky he was to have this kid in his life.

"For making Daddy feel better. He was way happier after your nap."

"Naps are awesome," Buck said, as if that answered everything. "And so is your dad. I've got his back, okay? I'll make sure he's got plenty of reasons to keep smiling."

"I love you, Bucky," Christopher said, eyes closed.

"I love you too, Chris." He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Chris' forehead. When he pulled back, Christopher was breathing deeply, already asleep. Buck smiled and carefully extricated himself from the situation.

The party was more subdued after that, with everyone knowing a kid was asleep upstairs. Slowly but surely, they all trickled out and headed home. Then it was just Eddie and Buck, standing in the kitchen, surrounded by leftover food and listening to the sounds of Christmas music playing softly from a speaker across the room.

"Now what?" Eddie asked, looking around at the mess.

Buck slowly, cautiously, slid his arm around Eddie's waist and was rewarded with Eddie's weight leaning into him. "Now I ask you to stay. We can go snuggle Chris upstairs, or I can take the couch, or –"

Shaking his head, Eddie turned in Buck's grip enough to lean up and kiss him again. "Don't be stupid," he said. "It's your bed."

It didn't sound like an argument. It sounded like agreement. Buck smiled and started walking backwards, leading Eddie to the stairs. Christmas was already his favorite holiday, but now his love for the day knew no limits. He was going to be obnoxious about it every year. But for now, he just knew Christmas music in the background, Christopher's small body against his, and Eddie's arm wrapped around them both. They were all he needed for Christmas.

Thinking that made him remember the two gifts Eddie had promised him over text.

Hmm. He'd have to ask about them in the morning. And he smiled, because waking up to Eddie and Chris in his bed was going to be a gift all its own.