It's been a few years since she faced Malchior on that stormy night in Jump City, but Raven is starting to feel some sense of normalcy. With Garfield/Beast Boy by her side - and a new baby - she wants to believe that she has conquered her PTSD, but achieving happiness is not as easy as she thinks.

This is a sequel to Clipped Feathers, but if you don't want to read it – as it is a slightly different genre and not nearly as many lemons – there are enough details to follow along, so you won't get lost.

But obviously, spoilers for Clipped Feathers, so read at your own peril.

Rated M for PTSD reactions, strong language, and sexual violence.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or a therapist or claim to know how to properly treat PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder).

The mysterious figure crushed the crystal into a fine black powder and slowly moved to her enchantment circle, sprinkling the contents of her cup into the flames that was in the center of her room. She said the words and a hellish fire burned brightly in front of her.

She was confused, startled, the spell wasn't supposed to do that; it was a simple tracing spell that either showed a blue or a green flame, never an orange one. What could this color mean?

Could it be that she was up against someone who used dark magic to hide their true self and that this was a warning to stay out of their way? Was it an omen of things to come? She picked up her old spell book and started flipping through it to find any hint of an answer. It said nothing of a orange flame.

She kept thinking, what could it mean? But it didn't take long for her to set the book down, roll her eyes, extinguished the fire with her black energy, and look across the room towards her collection of books.

A tall, very skinny, yet slight muscular man with the brightest green colored skin – almost cartoonishly too bright – was leaning up against the book shelf. He was turning the pages of one of her delicate books, though why would he was interested in reading about ancient magic, she couldn't guess, he probably was just curious and bored.

"Uh…Garfield, you did bring me the crystal from the left chest, like I asked?" The mysterious figure asked, her violet eyes peeking through her hood.

He looked up, "Yeah, the left chest," there were two chests by the book case.

He pointed to the one on the right.

The woman raised her eyebrow. She let down her hood to expose her lavender hair and grey fair skin. "Beast Boy…which hand do you eat with again?"

Oh no, she said his team name, that usually meant that he was in trouble when they were alone.

"My right," He lifted up his right hand up, looked at it, and then looked back at the two chests. "…oh." He realized his mistake. "So…uh, can you try again?" He said, followed by a nervous laugh.

She coldly stared at him.

"Or, er, not."

She motioned to her wasted black crystal.

"Rae," he said, using her nickname to get out of trouble. "It's okay; we can get another crystal, it's not the end of the world."

She continued to stare at him.

"Or maybe it is?" He asked, a little nervous.

He wasn't sure; magic wasn't his forte, he couldn't even pretend to understand it. Maybe whatever spell she was doing was the sign of the end of the world. By this point, he was used to such prophecies.

He set the book down and walked over towards her. "I'm sorry, mama, forgive me?" He hugged her tightly, she didn't move to return it.

"Do you know how long it took me to find that crystal?" She said calmly, trying to control the tone of her voice, but deep inside she was very angry. "It's not exactly available in stores. It could be months before I get a new one."

But despite this, he touched her upper thigh and all of her frustration seem to dissipate. She blushed.

"Not in front of the baby."

She looked over to the small yellow crib that was placed next to their bed – not her prefer color choice, but Garfield had picked it out – and tried to free herself from the pesky green man hanging onto her.

"Nah, stay. She's okay. She's sleeping." He tried to reason, gripping her body tighter, but he knew that it was a losing battle. Babies had a tendency to kill the mood at the right time.

Raven freed herself from her lover, and walked over to the crib looking down at the child; a tiny hint of a smile appeared on her face. Well, maybe babies were good for something, Garfield thought, it prevented the mother from being too mad at the father.

The child that was before her was very pale, with the slightest hint of rogue around her cheeks, but she wasn't sick, it was just the inheritance she got from her mother along with her dark lavender hair. Most of everything else, she had got from her father; her stocky nose and wide smile, her bushy eyebrows, her square jaw – the whole package deal.

It was still unclear whether her ears were going to be pointy, but a part of Raven hoped not; this child was already going to have a difficult upbringing with her powers and looking the way she does, so she didn't need the added accessory of looking like an elf. Although she was barely six weeks old, she was already developing quite a personality – one full of laughter and longing to be held.

Still, even though Raven wanted to hug the little creature with all her might and start being one of those overprotecting, helicopter moms, monitoring her every move, she controlled her impulse and took a step back, allowing the young one to sleep.

Ever since she had been born, Raven had struggled with how much to interact with her – since feeling love for a child was completely different than feeling love for a partner. Whereas Garfield could always protect himself if Raven went off the deep end, her child couldn't.

So, for the past few weeks, she would limit her touch with her baby, something that was heartbreaking, but necessary, as she needed time to adjust to these new emotions and find a way to protect both her and the tiny person before her.

For weeks they have been calling the little one Baby Logan, the Purple Haired Monster, the Tiger in the Making, as they couldn't settle on a name. They floated around Rachel and Gabriella, although somewhat similar to their own names, felt almost egotistical to past onto her.

She also didn't seem like a Marie or an Arella, both of Garfield and Raven's respected mother's names, so Baby Logan it was then, until they both agreed on a name.

Raven decided that her break time was over and just as she was about to go back to Garfield and show him the correct crystal that she was asking for earlier, she had looked up and saw him.

The white-haired devil with that sly English accent, with a scarf covering his mouth, known as Malchior, was staring back at her.

There he was, in their room, just standing opposite from her on the other side of the crib, only two feet away from her child; he stared at Raven and then at Baby Logan.

Garfield sensed something was wrong, as Raven's smile had disappeared and seemed to be caught up in some kind of trance, just staring out into the empty space before her.

His fur was standing upright. "Rae?"

She didn't answer; she was frozen. Malchior's figure reached for her child, but Raven's eyes flashed red.

"No!" She cried in a deep, raspy, baritone voice. She was quick to put up a shield around the crib and push Malchior back, sending him out the window.

But all Garfield saw was his grey lover turning into her Rage and breaking the window with her powers. He rushed over to her, gripping her hand. His touch softened the demon in front of him, as only Garfield had that unknown power to calm Raven down and bring her out of her Rage. Her eyes reverted back to normal.

"Raven, snap out of it!" Garfield screamed. "Azarath, Mentrion, Zinthos. Azarath, Mentrion, Zinthos." He hugged her and rocked her back and forth, chanting her mantra to her so she could wake up from her walking nightmare. He looked outside, and of course, nothing was there, but he knew why.

"Gar…what did I do?" She asked herself, horrified. She looked down at her hands.

"Rae…" He said.

He let go of Raven and peered down at his daughter, who had woken up from the noise and was crying. Taking the cue that Raven wasn't going to touch her, not in this condition at least, Garfield picked up Baby Logan and began to bounce her gently.

"You saw him again." He motioned for her to get away from the window, it was relief that there was barely any wind at the moment.

"I just…" She couldn't lie, "I thought he was there. H-he seemed so real. And he was going to put his hands on her…and I just…I just snapped." She said, trying to calm down.

"I know, I know. Shhh. Shhh." He said.

"Azarath, Mentrion, Zinthos. Azarath, Mentrion, Zinthos." She tried to regain her composure before all hell broke loose in the room. The room could take the beating….but it was her child that she was worried about. "W-what if I had put her life in danger? I-I would never forgive myself."

"Rae, look at her." He said gently. She looked into his emerald eyes. "Now, is she bleeding?"

"No."

"Is she hurt?"

"No."

"Did you put a force field around her first before you attacked Malchior?"

"Yes."

"So, there you have it, real or imagined, you know how to protect her."

"Like I protected Arel?" She whispered. Garfield's heart sank; she hadn't said her name in over a year.

Arel was their first child. It was around three years ago since Raven lost her to a miscarriage. But the miscarriage was not brought on by chance or by an accident, but by Malchior.

"Don't do that." He calmly said. "It's not fair for you to blame yourself, he was responsible."

"I know." She looked disappointed in herself. It's been years, why couldn't she just let it go?

Garfield sensed her guilt. "Is….is this the first time you have seen him since the pregnancy, eight months ago?"

"Yes." She said.

"What do you think triggered it this time?" He asked.

"Truthfully…I think it was her." She said, gesturing to the child he was holding in his arms.

"Rae…"

"I know, I know…it sounds horrible…but I think about Arel and what she could have been like and I see her and I just…" She couldn't finish the sentence, but he understood what she meant. "I had hoped that she would be a boy, be a completely different person from her sister…but at times she feels like the same energy, the same presence that I felt from Arel. She's her own person, but the ghost of her sister still haunts me, still gets to me from time to time. I-I don't know why. I don't even think I would be like this if I had lost Arel naturally, if I had a spontaneous miscarriage through just sheer bad luck…but I'm not. I'm like this…because…" She trailed off, she always had trouble insinuating what happened, as she felt like that made her seem weak and fragile, despite her at times being stronger than Garfield.

"Because of him…and how you lost it…" Garfield said. She nodded.

On a stormy night, three years ago, Malchior had cornered both the Logan's, and used dark magic to restrain them.

And then he violently raped Raven while Garfield was forced to watch.

Of course they managed to escape and Raven killed him...but it was too late. She had lost the baby; lost their Arel.

They struggled for a year or so trying to get ahold of their PTSD and their grief.

It wasn't really until last year that they started to forget about it, especially when Raven became pregnant again, but of course, grief comes in waves and a new tide was about to break.

"You can't fully enjoy being a mother to a child that is right in front of you, while you continued to grieve for the one that isn't. Heck, we can't even settle on a name; we need to give her a name, her own identity. The state can only allow parents to not name a child for so before they will choose one for us."

"I know, but I – we – we both can't find a name. It doesn't seem right to name her something similar to Arella."

"And she's not a Marie and you've shot down my idea to name her Azarath – which I think could be soooo cool to be named after a dimension—"

"—no—"

"—but until she is named something and you begin to hold her more, I think you will always see Malchior whenever you see her, your living, breathing daughter." He had finally managed to settle down the creature in his arms and held her up to Raven. "Take her."

"Gar…I can't." She said, trying to back up. Garfield walked forward toward her.

"Raven, I don't really get mad at you a lot, hell, never really. But I am putting my foot down here, I want you to take her. I want you to hold her. You're not going to hurt her; you're not going to blow anything up; and even if you do, I am right here to protect both of you from harm's way. You have held her a total six times, I've counted, one of those times was after you've given birth; that's not nearly enough to bond with her. You would just use your magic to change her diaper or rock her. But no more. I'm telling you now, take her." He commanded.

Raven was a little taken back by Garfield's biting tone, it was as if he had her personality from when she was a teen; a bit intimidating; a bit of a turned on too, if she was honest with herself. But try as she might, her heart melted and she couldn't come up with a reason why she shouldn't hold her, so she reluctantly reached out and took her daughter.

Even though she was a baby, as an empath, Raven could feel her aura all too well. It had gone from being calm to being frighten. The child started squirming, was looking around for her big green dad, although she had always seen this strange grey figure staring at her from a distance, she wasn't comfortable in her arms.

Raven looked into her eyes; when she was born, it was blue - as most babies eyes were blue when they were born - but it had grown into a bold emerald color. Sensing that the child was getting agitated by her touch, Raven released her black aura, taking the pain away, and all at once, the child was calm again. The child reach her fingers out to touch Raven's hand.

Her emerald eyes met Raven's.

…"Oh, but Raven, we were once friends, in fact, we were more than friends if I recall." Malchior said…

Raven twitched, hearing that oh-so-familiar voice in her head.

…"GET AWAY FROM HER!" Garfield growled

"My, my, my, Beast Boy, you sound jealous."…

Her head was spinning as the voices were growing louder. Flashes from the past few years were playing on repeat in her head, as if someone was carelessly switching between channels.

…"We're pregnant!" Garfield cried.

"I'm happy for you guys, but do you think it's the right time? It's only been a little over two years since…it happened." Robin said.

"I'm gonna kill Robin for saying that." Garfield told her that night.

"But what if it is too soon?" Raven confessed…

She couldn't find the will to fight it. Instead, her stomach was the first line of defense. "Take her," She said, Garfield looked disappointed, "Take her, I'm going to be sick."

He obeyed and took the baby, with Raven rushing over to the nearest bin and vomiting up her breakfast.

"Rae? Are you okay?" He asked, curious.

"I'm fine…I'm just…." She then let out her herbal tea that she had drank not too long ago. When she was done making a mess of herself, she wiped her mouth while Garfield had sat down by her side.

"Hey," He said, handing her a tissue. "Are you sick?"

"I'm not sure, I was holding her and all of sudden I started hearing…" She looked over to the small grey creature Garfield was bouncing in his arms. "Voices." She slowly let go of the tissue and held out her finger, hoping the little one would take it.

She did, and her serious green eyes met Raven's once again.

…"Although, I like my dragon form, this requires a man's form." Malchior said…

…"Azarath, metrion, ZINTHOS!" She shouted, but nothing happened…

…"Did…did we lose it?" She asked as calmly as she could to Garfield, but she already knew the answer as she clasped a hand on her stomach, tears swelling her eyes…

…"Will-will we ever b-be normal again?" He asked, looking into her eyes.

"One day, but not today." She said…

…"Rae? Rae? Raven?!"…

"Raven!" The present Garfield cried out. She pulled her hand back. "What's going on? You were in a type of trance."

She lifted up a finger to him, and once again heaved out that day's breakfast…or the little bit of dinner from the night before. "Okay...I know why I am hesitated to touch her."

"Because you're scared you will hurt her with whatever emotions you have—"

"—no, no. Well, that is still a possibility. But no, I thought it would be my powers, but it's not. It's hers, her powers are forming and it's affecting me—"

"What? She's only—"

"—only six weeks old? Yes, but she has Trigon's genes. Need I remind you that when I was born, I was told that the bright skies of Azarath turned black."

"So, what does this mean, you can never touch her? Anytime you will it will make you sick?!" He asked, confused and nervous. Again, magic was way beyond him.

"Well, not right now. But I know what she's doing. She's learning. Her powers are coming into their own, so she's trying to read my mind—"

"Raven, I don't even think she knows who we are, let alone on a mission to get intel on us."

"She's not doing it on purpose, it's almost an instinct, it's like blinking and breathing – it's just comes naturally and we need to train ourselves to hold back. It's this raw energy coming out of her. No, she doesn't know what she is doing nor I think understands why she is doing it, but right now, it's just like learning how to talk; her powers are just making noise until she can learn what they are and why she is using them. I thought I had more time before they started to developed, but I was wrong."

"How come she's never done it to me?" He asked, looking down at the innocent child who was unaware of her own surroundings. "I don't get sick."

"I don't know, maybe as the offspring of Trigon, there are bound to be…difficulties with interacting with each other. I'm not even sure if she can inherit your powers yet. We'll have to see when she gets older. But, I think the main reason why you don't get sick is because she is more comfortable with you and sees you less as a threat."

"Well, when can you hold her without getting sick?" He was starting to get annoyed by whatever solution she was about to proposed, because he knew it didn't involve physically touching her child.

"…I don't know, until she is aware of what she is doing…until I can train her. I started meditating at the age three…"

"Three?!" He almost shouted. He was frustrated, this almost sounded like another excuse. "Did your mother not hold you until you were three?!" He asked, annoyed.

She could feel his anger, but she calmly responded, "Yes."

All at once, that shut him up, as he realized that Raven was just doing what her mother did to her. She didn't have the same upbringing that he did, one full of hugs and kisses. "Wait, your mother didn't…"

"Garfield, the monks raised me, you know that. It's possible I was breast fed from time to time, but I don't remember her…being there a lot. She was a figure that came and went from the corridors, I knew the word 'mother', but it didn't have a meaning to me for a long time, it was more of a title. I called her Arella just as much as I called her mother."

"Rae…" He reached out and grabbed her hand. "You're not your mother. You should hold her."

"I know…in time I will. I'll…I'll figure something out. But for now, we should get back to work." She slowly stood up, but Garfield pulled her back down.

"Nightwing's search for this Tony Zucco character can wait; stay with your family for a bit." He said, continuing to bounce Baby Logan on the floor as she giggled and clapped her hands.

"What about the window?" She said, looking over her shoulder.

"It's not like you took out the whole panel, just a few cracks here and there, we can fix it later."

Raven smiled for a bit, although she knew what challenges were ahead of her, she could at least enjoy the quiet, more mundane moments of her life.

She looked toward Garfield, and saw Malchior causally sitting behind him, not doing anything, but just staring at her, almost daring her to make a scene. She tried to her best not to react, telling herself that it was just her imagination, and then went back to watching her daughter play on the floor.

After a few moments, Raven asked, "How do you like the name Azara? Similar to Azarath, but an actual human name and not a dimension? Also named after Azar, the founder of Azarath?" She asked Garfield.

He smiled.