"A hole in the wall, a bar for people like us," Captain Brian Nash, said to his company.
"Captain with all due respect, why are you in hell?" Sergeant Williams asked
"Well why are you here?" the captain asked.
"Sir, we're here because you're here, and Doc Roe and I would like to see you alive for the next year and a half at least," The sergeant said before taking a swig of his beer, the medic sitting in the booth with them nodded.
"Pish posh, I'll be fine you know I can take care of myself," Brian said sipping his whiskey.
"Going British on us now sir?" the sergeant quipped.
"No, I don't think so," the captain said glancing at the television mounted above the bar.
"Good afternoon! I'm Katie Killjoy." the female news reporter introduced herself.
"And I'm Tom Trench." the male reporter introduced himself.
"Chaos at a pentagram city today as a turf war is raging on the west side, between notable king Sir Pentious and self-proclaimed spunky powerhouse Cherri Bomb," Tom said with a bit too much cheerfulness.
"That's right Tom! After the recent extermination, many areas are now up for grabs! Demons all over Hell are already duking it out to gain new territory!" Katie explained while staring into the camera with the most unnerving look the sergeant has ever seen.
"Shit that's where the 31st are dropping, guess we gotta go and intervene, the last thing I need is for them to get slaughtered because of some bad timing," Brian said before downing his drink.
"So that's why we're here then, okay, I can live with that," the sergeant said, finishing off his beer. They look back to the screen while getting up from their booth.
"And I'd sure like to nail her hot spot!" Tom said with a wink.
Katie giggles, "You are a limp dick jackass, Tom. Or should I say-" she dumps her cup of coffee into his lap, "No dick!"
"Not again!" Tom groaned out.
The entire group winced at the sight before leaving the bar.
- West Side -
"I think we're here sir," the sergeant said while on the mounted machine gun.
"You think?" the captain said parking the jeep in a secluded area. About 50 yards away the trio can see explosions, gunfire and lasers going off in a massive battle between the demons and a load of...eggs.
"What's with the eggs?" the medic asked.
"Your guess is as good as mine," the captain said, reclining into the jeep's seat.
"We should probably intervene," Willams said, hopping off the gun.
"Yeah probably," Brian said, grabbing a Thompson from thin air.
"I keep forgetting about that gamer system of yours, man what kind of luck did you have with that," Williams said cocking his carbine.
"Weird but good luck, that's what," Brian said, cocking his Thompson.
"Yeah probably sums up your luck in general," Willams said walking towards the battle.
"Well at least It saves us from having to carry extra stuff life camping supplies, and I can refill your ammo," The captain said chucking over a carbine clip to Williams.
"Yeah yeah, let's just get this over with," he said catching the clip and putting it in his pouch.
The three of them crouched behind a half-collapsed wall and peeked over, it seems there were more contenders than they expected.
"Who's the beauty in white?" Willams asked. He pointed to a tall suit-wearing demon wielding a bat wrapped in barbed wire and an M1929 Thompson
"You ask her when you see her, over the side let's go," the captain said, mounting the wall and hopping over it.
"See you on the other side bud," Doc Roe said patting Williams' back.
"Yeah you too, you medical miracle," the sergeant said before hopping over as well.
Running in, Brian started to blast away at the egg with his Thompson M1A3, "Eat lead you shellish abominations!" he shouted at the eggs charging him.
"Woah new guy," the demon clad in white said shocked.
"Huh, I'll take it," the other demon said.
"So what's your name beautiful," Williams said, firing his carbine at an oncoming omelet.
"Angel Dust, you?" Angel said, smirking.
"John Williams, pleased to meet you, so you single or a hooker?" he asked before pulling out a BAR and firing that.
"Bit of both in a way, why?" Angel asked back.
"Ehh cause the light frames your face just beautifully, only does that to either single people or hookers," he said chucking a bomb he snatched from the lady in red.
"Heh, I like you, I think we'll be woah-" he shouted, getting wrapped in chains and thrown onto a road nearby.
"So, you the ringleader of this whole mess?" the captain asked the other demon.
"Kind of? I mean I certainly started this, Angel there just helped clean it up, the name's Cherri by the way," she said handing him a lit bomb.
Chucking it he spoke while firing his Thompson, "Captain Brian Nash, MRA Airborne, pleased to help you," he said chuckling.
"Glad to have it, the more the merrier I suppose, though don't expect this to mean I owe you anything," she said, throwing a couple of cherry bombs.
"Wouldn't have it any other way baby cheeks," he said covering her 9 o'clock flank, "Because I think I have an offer you can't refuse," he said smirking.
"Oh yeah and what's that?" she asked.
"Look up," he said pointing up, just as he did that a plane flew by overhead and dropped its payload blowing up a general area eliminating a whole wave of eggs.
"What the?!" Cherri shouted in shock landing on her ass.
"Feliz Navidad doll," he said, smirking while helping her up.
"What the, since when did you get one of the overlords to help us?!" she shouted in shock.
"Never did, that's one of mine, oh, by the way, I would stand aside from this area," he said pulling a pin from a smoke grenade, a puff of green smoke fumes from the can.
"Why?" she asked.
"Paratroopers inbound that's why, I would like the drop zone to not be filled with active combat," he said, dragging her away to a different area. As he did that if one looked up at this point, another plant flew by overhead and they would see a load of white and olive green parachutes open.
"Welcome to hell shinies!" the captain shouted at the now landing para assault troopers.
"Nice to see you too sir!" one of the privates shouted back sarcastically.
"Give em hell boy, show me what you're made of!" a sergeant shouted at the landing troops.
"Willams form- oh god damn it all to hell," the captain said looking in the direction of Williams. Looking over he saw that Angel and his sergeant were engaged in a sort of lover's co-op fight with the main head of the opposing forces, "for fuck sakes, Cherri up, you're gonna help me with those two over there," the captain said pointing to Angel and Williams.
"Yeah sure, it seems like your guys have this handled, guess you've won this territory fair and square," she said a bit defeated.
"I mean you can still have the territory, just talk with their captain about it, I'll help if it means anything," the captain said running towards Angel.
"You would? Why I mean clearly you fought for this area for a reason," she said confused while running to Williams.
"You'll see why we did it soon, I sure you won't mind the conditions of allowing you to own the land," he said firing a burst at the suit-wearing snake.
"I guess, '' she said, chucking a bomb into the area of the two, Williams seeing this tackled Angel and him into a nearby alleyway and the explosive detonated, launching Pentious away.
"Williams, if you don't stop flirting with the...whatever his profession is, I swear I'll have you sent to work with a hazardous environment unit," he said pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Sir with all due respect, isn't combat in general a hazardous environment?" Williams asked, getting off of Angel.
"Haha, you know what I mean, c'mon I don't think anaconda over there has much fight in him left," he said helping the pair up off the ground.
"Yeah, yeah, how's the 31st?" Williams asked.
"The DZ's been cleared off for their assault troops to drop safely, VTOLs should be arriving soon, I suggest we look into finding a place to stay for tonight, Fort Clegg isn't gonna be up for a least a week," the captain said handing the sergeant his carbine. "You know I saw a shawarma place a little bit back, you want to try it?" he asked patting Williams down of dust.
"The fuck's shawarma?" Williams asked.
"Like I said you want to try it, I saw it on a youtube video once," Brian said, picking up his Thompson.
"Sure, by the way you two are alright right?" Doc Roe asked walking over surveying the battlefield, doing so one can see ships looming on the horizon and more planes passing overhead dropping their payloads, crates of building materials, rations, ammunition, and heavy equipment not being brought on specialized ships.
The Captain smirked through his helmet, and spoke, "Yeah just fine," he turns to the two demons he was fighting alongside with and asked, "Hey you two want to join us for-"
"Yes, I'm starving," Cherri said cutting the captain off, her stomach rumbling right afterward.
"Yeah no kidding, c'mon I'll drag along C company's CO to discuss terms of land ownership," the captain said walking off.
- end -
Woo! Hazbin hotel fanfic, not many of those right? I made this as a little...well project wouldn't quite be the right word, an experiment I guess? Anyways hope y'all enjoyed it.