the thing with feathers

by Rose Thorne

Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with The Untamed, and make no money writing fanfiction.

Chapter Nine

Lan Qiren could only stare at the scene before him: his nephew, still asleep after mao shi in Wei Ying's bed, with Wei Ying curled close and holding his hand.

He closed his eyes, hoping perhaps he was simply hallucinating somehow, but the scene was still present when he opened them again.

Xichen was the one who acted first, rushing forward to wake his brother.

Wangji immediately rose, pulling his hand from Wei Ying's, and bowed deeply and formally.

"Wangji apologizes for waking late, shufu. Wei Ying had a nightmare. It may not have been a dream, but a memory."

Lan Qiren blinked. That absolutely explained the scene he'd entered to find: Wangji had of course comforted the child, as was proper.

"Why do you think it's a memory?" Xichen asked.

Wangji glanced toward Wei Ying, who was still sleeping soundly, drooling slightly on his pillow, his arm outstretched, fingers curled as though still holding his hand.

"He dreamt of being surrounded by darkness, but it was alive and talking to him and hurting him. Resentful energy is dark, right, shufu?"

Lan Qiren felt like his blood had frozen. According to the reports the Jiang heir had gathered from disciples who witnessed the event, resentful energy had indeed surrounded the boy, and had absolutely caused harm.

If Wei Ying had remembered the attack through a dream, he could answer many questions, perhaps including who had attacked him. But it could also be traumatizing for the boy.

This was a matter to take to Sect Leader Jiang and the healers immediately.

He patted Wangji's shoulder in praise, pleased when he didn't shy away from the contact as he often did even when Lan Qiren was the one initiating.

"Thank you for telling me, Wangji. Your decision to comfort him is commendable and sleeping late was unavoidable as a result. Please dress. I need to inform Sect Leader Jiang and the healers."

He didn't wait for Wangji's response, knowing his nephew would likely immediately move to comply. Instead he swept out of the infirmary. Lan Qiren knew Jiang Fengmian was likely still asleep, but he would want to be informed of this without delay.

With that in mind, he knocked at the door to the sect leader's chambers, counting to a full minute before knocking again. After three rounds, Jiang Fengmian opened the door, wearing a hastily donned outer robe, blinking at him blearily for a moment before his expression turned to concern.

"A-Ying?"

Lan Qiren was glad to get to the heart of the matter; Sect Leader Jiang knew there was only one reason he would wake him so early.

"He had a nightmare, possibly about the attack. Wangji comforted him in the night, but you and the healers may wish to be there when he wakes today."

Fengmian's expression retained the concern, while also becoming far more serious. Lan Qiren was aware that the investigation had stalled on the attack, and it had frustrated Madam Yu greatly. While traces of resentful energy—mere wisps, really—had been found on the training ground, there had been no way to track it. It seemed almost as if it had appeared from nowhere, as a curse from afar might.

But who would wish to curse an orphaned ten-year-old child?

"I will rouse Healer Kang and Ziyuan," Fengmian said. "And I'll leave you to gather Healer Lan. Is A-Ying awake?"

Lan Qiren shook his head.

"When I left the infirmary, he was still sleeping."

Jiang Fengmian nods, retreating back into his quarters, undoubtedly to get dressed.

Within a kè, everyone was gathered in the infirmary, and one of the musicians was playing 'Clarity' on the guqin to ensure Wei Ying woke up calm. Wangji was sitting on the bed beside the boy, having resumed holding his hand.

Healer Lan cleared his throat softly.

"Young master Wei may be a little overwhelmed waking to find so many people here. Perhaps some of us can wait in the other room?"

"Usually when he wakes only myself and my nephews are here, starting lessons," Lan Qiren offered. "We would have started by now, but…"

Yu Ziyuan sighed, and motioned to Fengmian to vacate the room.

"Fine, but Healer Kang should stay, in case he wakes poorly. We still have no idea what that resentful energy is doing to his mind," she ordered decisively.

Though Lan Qiren privately thought Healer Lan had more experience with resentful energy injuries, which was why the Jiangs had sent for aid in the first place, he knew now was not the time to quibble over such details.

The others retreat from the room, aside from the guqin player and the healer. Wangji's body language made it clear he had no intention of leaving Wei Ying's side, and Lan Qiren didn't particularly feel like fighting him. He had no idea how Wangji had been woken in the night, nor how long it had taken for Wei Ying to calm down; for all he knew, the stubbornness was earned.

And so instead he and Xichen relocated cushions to the bedside, and Lan Qiren kept his voice lower than he usually did so as not to disturb Wei Ying's slumber. He could hear conversation in the other part of the infirmary, as the others waited for the boy to wake, but ignored it.

Unfortunately, neither of his nephews were able to stay focused on the lesson, particularly Wangji, who was distracted by every small movement by Wei Ying. Xichen seemed lost in thought, his brow creasing in concern. Lan Qiren did his best to stay patient with them; under the circumstances, their distraction was hardly surprising.

Another kè passed before Wei Ying stirred, murmuring unintelligibly as he started to wake. Wangji immediately abandoned the lesson to move a bit closer and squeeze his hand to remind him of his presence. The guqin player faltered and stopped playing.

"Wei Ying?" Wangji called softly.

The boy let out a small sound of protest at being awake, and Lan Qiren had to school a smile from his face at how undeniably cute it was. Wei Ying turned his head in the direction of Wangji's voice, but didn't open his eyes.

"Lan Zhan?" he murmured, the name slurred so much it almost sounded like 'A-Zhan.' "Morning?"

"Yes."

Finally, Wei Ying opened his eyes, blinking at them blearily. His gaze drifted to the scrolls on the bed, then to Lan Qiren.

"This one apologizes for sleeping late and missing lessons, Lan-laoshi," the boy said softly.

"It is fine," Lan Qiren said, clearing his throat uncomfortably at the boy's apology—it was unnecessary under the circumstances, and troubling for reasons he can't quite articulate. "And understandable. Wangji said you had a nightmare."

A ghost of fear flickered over Wei Ying's face, and he nodded.

"From what Wangji said of it… The dream sounds like it could be about what happened before you fell ill. Do you feel up to recounting it for Sect Leader Jiang, Madam Yu, and the healers?"

Immediately, Lan Qiren knew he had said the wrong thing, had failed to temper his words, when the child crumpled.

"I d-don't want it to be a memory," the boy managed between gasping sobs.

Lan Qiren felt frozen, but the musician immediately picked up 'Clarity' again in an effort to calm the boy. Yu Ziyuan stalked by on the other side of the bed, leveling a scowl at him he knew he deserved.

To his surprise, Madam Yu gathered the child in her arms and rubbed his back comfortingly. She had never struck Lan Qiren as a particularly nurturing woman, but clearly he had passed judgment on her unfairly. He resolved to copy Conduct three times for his ill thoughts on her character.

"It may not be a memory, baobei," she murmured. "We just want to make sure."

Lan Qiren glanced at Jiang Fengmian and found him looking at his wife in adoration. He wondered if, after all, his judgment had been correct, and these circumstances had brought about a change in Madam Yu. After all, it was well-known the two were not a love match, and other cultivators passed gossip about their fights around like fine wine.

He would copy Conduct once while doing a handstand, he revised.

Wei Ying kept hold of Wangji's hand, clearly finding his presence a comfort, but he also clung to Madam Yu.

"It was scary, shenshen. I don't want to remember any more."

It took nearly half a shichen of gentle coaxing by Madam Yu and Jiang Fengmian for Wei Ying to tell the details of his dream, one that sounded nothing like what was described in the disciples' reports.

His dream was infinitely more horrifying than the reports Lan Qiren had read.

Wei Ying had dreamt of being high in the air, someone telling him to look down, telling him he would never escape Luanzang Gang. Of falling and finding himself surrounded by a black fog in a place littered with broken tombstones and bones. The fog had called his name, had whispered to him and asked if he wanted revenge, had buffeted and hurt him. He'd felt the hilt of a sword, and tried to wave the fog away, but found a long bone in his hand instead.

Then he found himself in the bed in the dark, uncertain where he was and terrified.

"Lan Zhan called my name, but I didn't know if it was the dark. But then he lit a candle and I knew I was safe."

The dream was disturbing, and it was a wonder they weren't all that woken in the night by the child screaming in terror. Everyone knew of Luanzang Gang, the horrors that lurked in that dark place and the cultivators who tried to put the spirits there to rest but had never returned. The Wen clan had resorted to sealing it within wards which needed periodic strengthening, but rumor had it wisps of resentful energy leaked out and caused mayhem in Yiling sometimes.

Lan Qiren could tell from Wangji's expression, minute though it might be, that this was a more detailed version of the nightmare than he heard in the night. If his nephew had heard some of these details, perhaps he would have gotten no sleep at all. He had in the telling shifted closer to Wei Ying, looming as though he could protect him.

"Was it real?" Wei Ying demanded, still shaking and crying. "Is that what made me sick?"

"No, A-Ying," Jiang Fengmian answered. "You're here with us now, so it couldn't be a memory."

Lan Qiren silently agreed with his assessment; had the boy been thrown into Luanzang Gang, he would be dead, possibly just another resentful soul in a sea of it. Maybe no longer a soul at all. He hoped Wei Ying didn't catch that extra meaning in Sect Leader Jiang's words.

The child sagged in relief, sobbing again against Madam Yu. She pursed her lips, her expression an odd mixture of horror and relief.

"A-Xian," she said softly, "your shushu found you in Yiling, which is where Luanzang Gang is. Probably you heard stories about it, and someone threatened to take you there before shushu found you. That's probably what you remembered, and it turned into a nightmare."

She sounded rather like she wished to find the person who would threaten a child with Luanzang Gang and use zidian on them. She sounds possessive, as though she has claimed Wei Ying as hers.

Sect Leader Jiang cupped the boy's cheek in his hand, waiting until Wei Ying looked at him to speak.

"Your shenshen and I will protect you, I promise. No one is allowed to threaten you like that ever again."

Wei Ying nodded, hiccupping.

"I'm sorry for troubling you, shushu, shenshen."

Madam Yu clicked her tongue at him, hugging him tighter briefly.

"You silly boy. You needn't worry about that," she told him.

"We would be more troubled if you didn't let us know when you're upset, a-Ying," Sect Leader Jiang added.

"I just don't want to be a bother," Wei Ying murmured.

Lan Qiren realized abruptly what had been bothering him earlier; this child felt as though he was a burden. He couldn't imagine such a thing being so ingrained that it would stay through amnesia, and no one had intimated that Wei Ying was a burden that he had seen. But the boy believed it nonetheless.

"Last night I told you to let us know if anything you remember upsets you," Madam Yu said softly. "But you can let us know if anything upsets you. You needn't suffer in silence. You can also tell a-Li and a-Cheng."

"Wei Ying can tell me, too," Wangji said earnestly.

Lan Qiren nodded his approval, and Jiang Fengmian favored the boy with a smile.

"You can tell any of us, a-Ying," the sect leader said.

Madam Yu deposited Wei Wuxian next to Wangji but continued to rub his back comfortingly. He immediately latched onto the boy, who didn't protest, enduring the smaller child's clinginess without complaint. Wangji generally eschewed touch, and young Wei Ying was the first he had opened to outside his family, particularly since the death of his mother. This friendship could improve his social skills.

"Children are never a bother," Lan Qiren offered after a moment, not sure whether it was his place to say so but knowing his nephews could also benefit from the words. "I would want Wangji and Xichen to feel comfortable coming to me if they are upset as well."

When the boys both blinked at him, their expressions briefly startled but quickly schooled into blankness, he wondered if he had failed them in this regard. He remembered Wangji's stubbornness in returning to his mother's house and kneeling to wait for her every month as though she hadn't died, and he thought perhaps he could have handled it with more patience and grace. Certainly, the principles stated that one should not grieve in excess, but what was excess but a subjective idea?

It was an uncomfortable realization, that his nephews might feel they must hide their feelings from him. They, like young Wei Wuxian, were essentially orphans, having lost their mother young and rarely seeing their secluded father. They may not have lost their memories like this child, but they had their own trauma.

And yet, even in the midst of his grief, Wangji had given his late mother's rattle drum to a homeless Wei Ying in an alley in Yiling, willingly parting with a precious object for the benefit of a stranger in an act of charity and compassion.

Perhaps he was too hard on them.

He sighed softly, knowing he would need to meditate on these thoughts.

"I believe perhaps we should suspend lessons for today," Lan Qiren said finally. "After this, a day of rest and leisure is in order."

As his nephews looked at him in shock again, Jiang Fengmian smiled.

"I believe your nephews have only visited town once since arriving. I'm sure a-Li and a-Cheng would be happy to accompany them and a-Ying—assuming he is cleared with the healers."

Healers Lan and Kang glanced at each other, engaging in silent conversation briefly.

"Perhaps an adult should accompany them, in case young master Wei tires, but otherwise he is healthy enough for a small excursion," the Jiang healer finally said.

"Fengmian, I think it would be best if you accompany them," Madam Yu stated. "You could use a day off, and you've stayed in Lotus Cove so much lately, the townspeople might not remember what you look like."

The smile Jiang Fengmian leveled at her could best be described as coquettish, and Lan Qiren suddenly felt as though he was intruding on a private moment.

"And would my lady wife care to join us on this excursion?"

A blush spread across Madam Yu's cheeks and the harsh angles of her face softened when she smiled, making her look a bit like a maiden instead of the imposing woman she was. She offered him her hand, and he took it.

"Certainly, my lord."

It came out as almost a purr, and Lan Qiren could feel his face heating at the blatant shamelessness of it.

He decided he should also copy Virtue. Twice.

This chapter gave me trouble. I wanted it to be in Lan Qiren's POV, but also there's stuff going on with Madam Yu. Both of them are growing.

A friend of mine posted on Tumblr about Qiren's abuse toward Wangji and Xichen, and she's getting some hate over it. Was Qiren abusive? Yes. Was his abuse intentional? No, but that doesn't negate the abuse. Abuse often isn't intentional, but the effect is what matters lest we ignore the victim based on the good intentions of the abuser rather than the resulting trauma of the victim.

And really, that's a lot of what MDZS is about: the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and sometimes trying to be a good person and do good just isn't enough. Life's just not fair sometimes.