Hello.

This is for Fang n'Bone week on the LU discord! Prompt: Temples and Tektites.

I do not own Linked Universe or Legend of Zelda.

Enjoy!

"My character's Link, and he's a bard-rogue."

"What! My character's also named Link, and he's also a bard!"

"Well, one of us is gonna have to change."

Hyrule looked up from his character sheet. "Mine's not a bard, but he's also named Link."

"Me too."

"Yeah…"

Four pinched the bridge of his nose. "Okay. Who here hasn't called their character Link?"

There was silence in the room for a few moments before Four sighed. Him, and eight other members from his hiking group, decided to spend an afternoon playing D&D. Since he was the only one who had played it before, he was elected Dungeon Master.

"If it's anything," Wild added, "my character's an elf."

"Yeah, mine too," Legend said.

"Me as well."

"Yeah."

Warriors laughed. "Wow! I love how we all have the exact same braincell!"

"You know what?" Four said, looking up at the eight men. "We're gonna use your characters as they are, no changing them. You wanna play D&D with eight Links, go right ahead."

"We need nicknames!" Wind piped up.

Four sighed, "We can do that in-game. Now, starting again, Legend what's your character."

"Link, an elf bard-rogue," he said.

"Is that allowed?" Hyrule wondered. "Can we multi-class."

"Sure." Four turned to the youngest. "Wind?"

Wind jumped up. "I also play Link! He's a pirate-bard!"

"Pirate's not a class," Twilight mentioned.

"His background is pirate," Wind said, crossing his arms and sitting down. "He's also an elf."

Four nodded. "Time, your turn?"

Looking up from his character sheet, Time said, "My character's also named Link, he's a bard elf."

"Of course, he is," Four sighed. "Wild?"

"Link, he's an elf ranger."

"Hyrule?"

Hyrule blinked. "Well, he's named Link and he's an elf cleric."

"Twilight?"

"Elf druid."

"Sky?"

There was another silence as everyone turned to the sleeping man.

"Can someone wake up Sky," Four asked.

Warriors sharply nudged Sky with his elbow. "Glad to see you're awake," Four said as Sky blinked, "what's your character?"

"Oh," Sky looked down at his sheet, "his name is Link, and he's an elf bard."

Warriors spoke, "Mine's also named Link, but he's an elf paladin."

Four paused for a moment, turning to look at each man at the rectangle table they sat at in his home. "So, we have four elf bards, one elf paladin, one elf ranger, one elf druid, and one elf cleric."

"Yup." Wind nodded his head.

"The game hasn't even started and I'm getting a headache!"

"You come across a clearing in the woods," Four said. "I want everyone to roll a perception check."

As dice clanked against the table, Sky paused. "What modifier do we add?"

"Wisdom," Legend said. "I got eleven plus one, that's twelve."

"…Seven," Wild sighed.

"That's a thirteen," Time added.

Wind laughed. "That's a two plus zero! A two."

"Sixteen," Twilight said before grabbing his die.

"Huh," Sky said, "I also got a sixteen."

Hyrule jumped from his chair. "I GOT A NAT 20!"

"What?!" Wind yelped. "Unfair!"

"I got a nineteen minus one, an eighteen," Warriors said as Hyrule sat back down.

Four thought for a moment, before a smirk graced his lips. "Alright, so everyone role for disadvantage, Time roll for advantage."

"What!?" Legend said, loudly. "What for?"

"Just roll," Four said.

"But my nat 20!" Hyrule complained before sighing. "I got a two."

"Actually," Four said, "you did get a nat 20, so I'll let you keep it."

"Sweet!"

In the end, Wild got a five, Time got a thirteen, Wind got a three, Twilight got an eleven, Sky got a fifteen, Legend got a two, and Warriors also got a nat 20—which he promptly rubbed in Legend's face.

"Okay," Four said, "Hyrule, Warriors you recognise that you're in a forest. From the shape of the trees, the leaves, and whatever, you reason you're in Time-Link's Hyrule. Legend and Wind, you have absolutely no idea where you are—what even is a forest, what is a Hyrule?! Wild, you know a little more: you know what a forest is. Everyone else knows they're in a forest not from their world, well—"

"Hey, guys," Wind-Link said, interrupting God, "we really need nicknames."

"Is now the time?" Legend-Link asked. "God was just speaking."

"Don't we worship Goddesses?" Sky-Link said, furrowing his eyes. "Isn't that what we worship?"

"Sure," God said. "Just let me speak."

"Time!" Four said, turning to the man on his right. "You recognise the forest."

"I know this forest," Time-Link said. "Let's take a detour."

"Sure, old man," Legend-Link said, crossing his arms.

Wind-Link snapped his fingers. "I got it! Time will be Old Man!"

"Who's Time?"

"Time-Link, Time-Link will be Old Man!"

Hyrule-Link mentioned, "But I've already met an Old Man on my journey, that's gonna get confusing."

"Okay then," Wind-Link said, "he can be Gramps!"

Time-Link and Twilight-Link accidentally glanced at each other. "Sure," Time said, looking at the others.

Wild-Link tisked. "You gotta say it in your character voice, Gramps."

"Oops," Time-Link said before clearing his throat. "Sure."

"I'm Pirate!" Wind-Link exclaimed. "Legend-Link's gonna be Veteran, Hyrule-Link is Traveller, Warriors-Link is Captain, Wild-Link is Champion, Twilight-Link is Rancher, NPC-Link will be Smithy—"

"My name is NPC-Link," he said, "why am I called Smithy?"

"Cause," Wind said. "And Sky-Link will be..."

"I can just be Sky," Sky-Link suggested. "Nothing special."

"But that's your name!" Wind-Link said.

Sky-Link blinked. "Yes."

"Anyway," Four said, loudly clearing his voice, "Time, you recognise this place. And you all follow his lead down the road to where a farmhouse sits. Time, you're awfully cheerful."

"Okay," Rancher said, "you said a detour, but where exactly is this? You've been awfully cheerful."

"Have I?" Gramps asked. "Well, you could say this place is feeling a lot like home."

"No way," Wind interrupted, "are we going to meet Time's wife?!"

"And now you find yourself in a different forest, also in Gramps' world," Four said. "See? This is what happens when you get impatient. Now, roll for initiative."

There were many groans and grumbles through the group as dice hit the table.

"I got a one," Wild said, "I guess I'll deal with whatever you guys leave behind."

"Hey, I got a two," Time said, "I'm also far behind."

Twilight picked up his die. "I got an eleven."

"Ten," Legend said.

Hyrule paused. "…Nine."

"Seven," Sky said, stretching his arms and nearly hitting Twilight.

"I got a four," Warriors added.

"And I got a three!" Wind said.

Four nodded. "Okay. Time, roll a perception check."

"Okay…?" Time said, grabbing his die. "Three plus three, a six."

Everyone paused when Four rolled his die. "Take five piercing damage, and you are thrown back five feet."

"WHAT!?" Wind jumped up. "What attacked him?"

Four smirked. "As you look at what attacked Time, you see a large brown Moblin with a spear in his hand."

The Moblin raised the spear above its head, ready to attack Gramps again, when Rancher pulled out his clawshot and grabbed its arm. Veteran pulled out his bow and begun to shoot arrows at it. Traveller slashed with his sword, and Sky ran to check on Gramps.

"Time, you're prone right now—so you can use your turn to stand if you want," Four said.

Time nodded. "Got it. I do that."

"I'm gonna stab it," Warriors said as Four looked at him. "What its armour class? I got an eighteen."

"That beats it."

Satisfied, Warriors rolled. "I got six-piercing damage."

"That angers it; roll an athletic and an acrobatic check for me."

Warriors paused as his dice rolled. "Two for athletics, and… oof, a nat miss for acrobatics."

"Alright in reflex, it bats you with its paw, sending you flying and giving you five points of bludgeoning damage. You aren't able to grab your sword from its back as you went flying," Four said. "Legend, your turn."

Legend thought for a moment. "Using my free action, I'm gonna use my Titan Mitts and help Twilight with the chain."

"Roll me a strength check plus advantage."

"Ten minus one, nine," Legend said, "but with advantage… sixteen plus my proficiency bonus from the gloves… nineteen."

"Yeah, okay," Four said, "you grab the cord and you manage to hold it for Twilight. Wind, your turn."

"I'm gonna cut off its hand."

"You're gonna what?!"

"Cut off its hand," Wind said, "with my sword."

Four blinked. "What do you even roll? Athletics? You know what, we're doing a strength contest. You get disadvantage because the Moblin's hand is about the size of your body."

"Seventeen for the first roll!" Wind cheered. "That's an eighteen minus one! And a… sixteen for the second roll."

"Yeah, that beats the fifteen I rolled," Four said. "Now, roll to beat its armour class."

"A seventeen?"

"That beats it," Four said. "You cut off this Moblin's hand, and it's looking angered and bloodied—even bloodier than before. Now, it's Smithy's turn." For a few seconds, Four just rolled his dice. "He shoots it with his bow for six piercing damage…" Quickly he jots down the health left for the Moblin. "And now it's Wild's turn."

Wild thought for a moment, looking at his character sheet. "Okay, I'm gonna use Warriors' sword and jump onto its shoulder, as my free move. And I'm gonna stab at it with my dagger."

"Roll me an acrobatics check."

"Twenty-four, nineteen plus five."

"Yeah, you jump onto its back, gracefully, without any problem" Four said. "Roll for armour class."

"…one."

Four hissed, "Yeah… it grabs you just as you try and stab at it and flings you off onto the ground. Twilight, your turn."

"I guess I'll continue using my clawshot," he said.

"Roll a strength contest against me," Four said. "I got a seven."

"I got a ten," Twilight said. "I win."

Four nodded. "Yup, you continue holding the arm of the Moblin with you chain. Legend, you're up."

"I continue holding the chain," he said. "A strength contest?"

"Yup. I got a twelve."

"Fifteen. I win."

"Yup, you continue holding onto the chain. Hyrule, your turn."

"So…" Hyrule slowly started. "If I were to say… use a spell to jump high, would falling back down also be part of my move?"

"Yeah."

"I cast Jump without being seen."

Before Four could speak, Legend interrupted, "And what's Jump?"

"A homebrew spell," Hyrule said. "Four said I could use those instead of actual D&D spells."

"…Let me think," Four said. "You want to use your turn to cast Jump without being seen?"

"Pretty much."

"Roll me a… hm… a stealth check. You're trying to do this without being seen by the Moblin, right? You need to do this stealthily. Plus, also roll me your spell casting modifier."

Hyrule nodded before rolling his die. "That's plus dex modifier, yeah, for stealth?"

"Yeah."

"Then, a seventeen. And a, oh! Seventeen also for my spell casting modifier. Fifteen plus two for proficiency bonus, and a zero for wisdom."

"Okay," Four said, nodding, "you cast Jump quietly and jump really high in the air, higher than the Moblin. And now we wait for you to fall to the ground."

"Good. I want to use gravity to ram my sword into the Moblin's neck."

Four paused. "What?!"

"When I fall back down, using my free move" Hyrule explained, using hand motions to demonstrate, "I wanna use gravity and ram my sword into the Moblin's neck."

"Oh my god!" Veteran yelled. "When is this Moblin gonna die! The chain can't hold much longer!"

"When it dies," God said. "Stop interrupting me."

"Roll me an acrobatics check," Four said, skeptical.

"Fifteen."

"Plus…?"

"Oh no, that's twelve plus three."

Four nodded. "Well, that passes. Roll for armour class."

"Fourteen."

"Doesn't pass, but I suspect that the armour on the neck isn't as strong as the rest of the body," Four said, "so I'll give it to you just this once. Plus, you get the advantage of your body weight and gravity helping you."

"Four piercing damage," Hyrule said.

"Alright!" Four loudly said. "Using gravity, you ram your sword into the Moblin's neck. It falls to the ground with you on its back, and dies. Congrats everyone, you defeated my Moblin!"

"Is it just me," Pirate said, "or was that Moblin harder to take down than normal?"

"Something's wrong with it," Captain said, cleaning black blood from his sword he pulled from the Moblin. "Its blood is black."

"Does the have to do with this…"

"Shadow?" Smithy finished for Veteran.

"I believe so," Gramps said. "Any one of us should've been able to take it down easily. This… was not natural."

Rancher sighed, "This can wait, we need to heal. A long rest, maybe?"

Flying by Gramps, a small fairy revealed herself. "That won't be necessary. It's safe now," he said to the fairy, "the beast is dead."

Suddenly from the woods, dozens of pink fairies greeted the Links, using their magic to heal their hp and spell slots.

"It's odd," Traveller said, "this forest is full of life now, when it wasn't a minute ago."

"Natural instinct and self-preservation?" Smithy guessed. "Seems like something we don't have."

"It seems like," Captain said, "we're getting closer to find out why we're here."

"Oh, we know why we're here," Champion said. "Four made this campaign."

"Who's Four?" Gramps asked. "I know of no Four."

Champion sighed, "God."

"Well," Four said, "that's all I had planned for today."

"A single Moblin fight?" Twilight asked.

"Actually, I also had meeting Gramps' wife, but that had to change."

Wind pouted from his spot.

"Good news! You all got experience and have moved onto level two—we'll do that next time."

"Didn't know you to laze around, Four," Legend said, jokingly. "Can't even level up our characters… tisk, tisk, tisk."

Four paused. "Alright, everyone leveled up to level two but Legend."

"Hold on—that's not fair!"

"Don't go sassing God."

"By the way," Smithy wondered as they sat around the campfire, "why is it called Dungeons and Dragons, anyway? Dungeons are real, but there's no such things of dragons."

"Yes, there is," Gramps said.

"No, there isn't."

"Yeah, there is," Veteran agreed. "Sorry Smithy, but you're outnumbered."

"You seriously haven't all seen dragons before, right?"

Captain thought, "Well, if it's any consolation, yes we have."

"Seriously?"

"Wait," Sky wondered. "you haven't seen a dragon before?"

"No! Why would I!"

"There's dragons all over my Hyrule," Champion said. "I see them daily. They're really pretty, and nice."

"There's just no end with you people!"

"Well," Rancher mentioned, "you did create this campaign."

"Oh, blame me for not making a cool backstory for a character I had to make up on the fly," Four muttered. "Not my fault I didn't think dragons would be real! Why have you all dealt with dragons?"

"Honestly?" Legend wondered. "I blame Hylia."

"You blame everything on Hylia."

"Well, so many things are Her fault that it's just my default."

Hope you enjoyed!

When I read this arc in the comic, I thought that it reminded me of a turn-based RPG. And since this prompt was for D&D, well… why wouldn't I?

Link is a bard, through and through. But I gave some of them different classes because I felt they wouldn't choose to be a bard—and Four is the DM cause I had no idea what class he would be, and I needed a DM.

Anyway, I don't what else to write…

Fiddlerinthewoods OUT!