Hermione couldn't sleep.

That was hardly surprising though considering how terrifying the last 6 hours had been. Honestly between Flying on a Hippogriff, running from a Werewolf and nearly having her soul devoured by Dementors she'd be lucky if she slept tomorrow night either. It was almost funny, she'd spent so much time before Hogwarts in libraries and her bedroom reading about magical adventures. There wasn't much else for a lonely young girl who couldn't quite figure out how to make friends to do. Now here she was, a witch in a magic castle going on the sort of adventures she'd been reading about since she could hold a book.

It wasn't just clammy fingers and gaping scabbed over mouths that kept her up though, the soft murmur of voices was also playing its part. She let her eyes flutter open slightly, peeking through her eyelashes at her friends. Sitting up in the bed across from hers, the serious look on his face barely highlighted by candlelight was Ron. On the other side of that bed Harry sat sprawled in a visitor's chair, his wand hanging loosely from the tips of his fingers and a grim cast to his features.

Ron suddenly leant back, looking up the ceiling, "You can't beat yourself up over maybe's Harry, you cast the spell in the end"

Harry snorted softly "You weren't there, the only reason I managed it was because I knew I'd done it before." His mouth twisted like he'd eaten something sour and his voice was matched "What use am I if the only way I can protect my friends is when I get a free do over?"

"I know I wasn't there" Ron started bitterly, but was quickly cut off.

"I didn't me-" Harry began quickly, but stopped as Ron raised his hand.

"I know you didn't, but I do" He started, looking at the ceiling like it would answer his questions. "I should have been able to do something"

Hermione almost roused herself at that, ready to firmly tell both boys to knock it off and get a hold of themselves. They both had their strengths and they both meant the world to her, so why did it matter if they weren't perfect? But she managed to restrain herself, it truly did sound like they both needed this, and she'd been trying to work on not butting her nose into every little thing.

"Ron" Harry began, looking slightly lost "We're only 13, none of us should have to be capable of stuff like this"

Ron shook his head violently "No, that might have been an excuse last year" A brief flash of a much darker look crossed his face "But I started this year knowing a madman was afer my best friend, and I did nothing but play buggering chess and half ass my classes" Ron started to get slightly louder, his ears turning red at the tips as he worked up "5 older bloody brothers who were always getting hurt, and I couldn't even be bothered to remember a simple blasted healing charm I've seen mum use a thousand times!"

"If you're beating yourself up over that, what does that make me" The look of self loathing on his face made Hermione's chest ache. "Boy-who-wouldn't-bloody-die and what do I do this year when I think the man who betrayed my parents is coming for me?" Harry's eyes flashed in the candlelight and a tear of frustration leaked from the corner of his eyes. "I almost die two years in a row, my friends almost die as well and this year I know what's coming. Still, the only spell I learn is one to drive off Dementors; the one thing we thought was keeping us safe in this school because I kept bloody fainting"

A quiet settled between the two boys, heavy with dark feelings and awkward tension. For a moment it seemed it would pass, Ron would make a joke or Harry would say something self deprecating and life would move on. Thankfully, Hermione was eavesdropping.

"You're both idiots" Hermione's lighter voice cutting through the suddenly awkward silence.

Both young men turned bright red as they made eye contact with a suddenly wide awake Hermione. Before they could start spluttering or asking when she'd woken she shushed them and sat up. She shivered slightly when her bare feet touched the cold flagon stone floor, but shuffled over to them anyway, a sheet draped over her. Harry jumped to his feet and dragged the spare chair next to him around the bed, depositing it on the opposite side before returning just as fast.

"Thank you" she murmured very carefully ignoring the warm feeling in her chest when she caught his eyes and he looked away in embarrassment.

"You're both so worried about what you didn't do, but you're being too hard on yourselves" She didn't really feel like smiling, but she pushed one up anyway, though it was a little tremulous. "Harry, you want to protect us, to feel like you can fight back right?"

Harry nodded, his blush receding and a more serious look overcoming him.

"Then why not start now? Flitwick used to be a dueling champion, what's stopping you from asking him for help?" A thoughtful look crossed his face and he leant back in his chair while she continued "And if he won't help we'll do it ourselves, I'm sure there's some books on magical combat in the library, and we can practice in a spare classroom or something"

Harry smiled appreciatively at her and looked down at his lap, his eyes darting left and right while he considered her words. Her smile became a little more genuine and she turned to Ron.

"Ron" She started gently, and he winced, like he was expecting her to berate him about his homework.

"Why not healing charms?" She asked, getting a puzzled look , but she was already fleshing out her idea, looking blankly at the bedspread.

"You mentioned healing charms, and I think that's brilliant idea. If we keep getting into stuff like tonight, one of us knowing how to heal would be invaluable. But, no offense" She directed slightly, giving harry an apologetic glance. "Harry doesn't exactly have the gentle touch needed"

Harry puffed up in imagined offense, earning a giggle from Hermione and a huff of laughter from Ron.

"And to be honest, I've looked at it before and...well to be honest i don't think I have the temperament. Magical healing is apparently a lot more feeling and power than a muggle Doctor" She continued, cutting him off as he opened his mouth to interject. "Maybe you aren't the best student" A poked out tongue was her reward for that "But I can't imagine anything inspiring you to work hard more than maybe saving our, or your life someday"

Ron joined Harry in silent contemplation at that, gently nodding in agreement. He had trouble focusing on schoolwork at the best of times, but the image of a tearful Harry bleeding out in his arms because he couldn't cast a spell was a hell of a motivator.

"Plus, none of your brothers are any good at healing" She finished impishly, giving him a wide smirk.

Ron snorted once, then broke out into chuckles, joined quickly by Harry and finally by a slightly teary eyed Hermione. After a few minutes of quiet laughter they all came down to earth, sharing a warm look between them.

"What about you" Harry suddenly blurted out, and realizing how bad this sounded quickly started to backtrack. "Not that you need anything to focus on, or that you're not good at anything or-I'll just stop" He trailed off, looking mildly alarmed.

Hermione arched an eyebrow in faux haughtiness and put on a snooty tone. "Yes not to say I'm anything less than perfe-eep!" ducking a pillow Ron swung halfheartedly in her direction. Then speaking more seriously. "I actually already have something I'll be making my focus next year, once I drop most of these extra classes"

"Runes is just so fascinating and they have so many useful applications! Did you know with the right combination of ancient Norse runes you can make an airtight box as cold as a modern fridge, permanently! And all it takes is a precise carving technique, correct placement of the runes on the box and a decently powerful burst of magic to initially charge the spell?" Hermione finished her spiel slightly breathless and giddy. Before withdrawing into herself, expecting the usual blank stares she got from her friends when she went off on an academic tangent.

To her pleasant surprise there was less of that than expected, they both looked slightly amused at her enthusiasm but just as intrigued with what she was saying. The look of fondness on Harry's face in particular making her cheeks heat up slightly.

"So that's the plan" Harry stood suddenly, stepping right to the edge of the bed, Hermione unconsciously matching him. "I'll talk to Flitwick tomorrow" He said clearly, a steely look in his eyes.

Ron's broad smile could have lit the great Hall

"I'll ask Pomfrey about starting to learn healing tomorrow when she checks in, see if she can tell me were to start. I'm tired of my friends and family getting hurt and not being able to do anything"

Hermione gave her two friends a proud smile.

"I'll talk to McGonagall tomorrow about dropping the extra classes, and to Professor Vector about any extra learning resources she recommends" Hermione's face dropped slightly, but she pushed on. "We can't afford to be waste our time, or be one trick ponies though, not if nonsense like tonight is going to keep happening. You can't keep easy classes like divination, and I can't keep wasting my time with interesting but useless things like muggle studies"

Harry and Ron both gave her a fondly exasperated look "Full plan tomorrow Hermione" Harry said, his smile taking the edge off his words.

"Right" Her cheeks pinked. "Ancient runes and Spell research"

A massive yawn burst out suddenly from Ron, followed swiftly by Harry and Hermione. A warm look shared by the three was exchanged before Harry and Hermione turned back to their beds.

"Night guys" Ron mumbled, finally laying down properly, careful not to jostle his leg.

"Mmmhmm" Hermione responded, standing and shuffling back to her bed, sliding under the covers. A small smile on her lips as she drifted off. The sight of Harry standing tall against the swirling nightmare of the Dementors pushing the nightmares back for now.

"Sweet Dreams" Harry Whispered, pausing momentarily at the great arched window. The Moon seemed to huge from here, and If he squinted he could almost see Sirius and Buckbeak silhouetted in the sky. He shook himself and slid under the blankets. He had things to do tomorrow, and he had a feeling he'd need his rest.

When Ron woke late the next morning he was alone. He glanced over at Harry and Hermione's ill made hospital beds with consternation before noticing a folded piece of parchment standing on his bedside.

/Gone for breakfast, we'll bring you some bacon/

Stood out in Harry's usual jagged writing in black ink.

'Well' Ron thought, 'That makes this easier at least' Watching madam Pomfrey bustle over with a tray of potions.

"Good morning Mr. Weasley" She said, a severe look on her face, "I hope your conversation with Mr Potter and Miss Granger didn't keep you from getting proper rest last night"

Ron flushed and sunk down into his bed a little.

"You heard that!?" He whisper shouted, sounding mortified.

A small smile and shake of her head was his only answer, as she stuffed an electric blue potion into his hands.

"Drink this now, you'll get another dose after lunch and we'll repeat that until the weekend, you'll need crutches in the meantime" She continued as if he hadn't spoken. "It's going to make you quite drowsy, but it will ensure you don't feel any pain while this" She held up a vial of sickly brown sludge "Re-sets the break in your Fibula and heals the fracture in your Tibia. Lastly" At this she pulled the leg of his blanket aside to show his broken leg, ignoring his squawk of protest. "We'll be removing the bandage wrap and immobilising it with a cast for the next few days so you don't move it while the potions do their work"

Ron gave the nurse an odd look, wondering why she was bothering to explain his treatment. Madame Pomfrey was notoriously short with her patients, often exasperated with how many different ways magical teenagers could hurt themselves and each other. He wasn't complaining though, if she'd suddenly decided to explain her thoughts it gave him a perfect in to test out her reaction to his interest in healing.

"Madame Pomfrey?" He asked carefully, getting a glance and then a pointed look at the blue potion. He downed it quickly, wincing when a buzzing feeling spread from his stomach to the tips of his toes. She held the brown vial up to him and he downed it as quickly as possible.

She nodded quickly, then gave him an expectant look "Good, now what was your question?"

"Well..." He started, taking a long moment to prepare his thoughts. "You mentioned using a cast to immobilise my leg, wouldn't it be easier to just freeze it in place with a spell?"

Her lips quirked up slightly and she stopped checking the potions left on her tray.

"Why do you think we'd use a non magical cast Mr Weasley?"

He pondered for a minute, wracking his brain for half remembered lectures from his mother when one of his brothers inevitably broke something.

"Would the magic of the spell interfere with the potions effect somehow?" He asked, his mind instantly thinking of the look on Snape's face when Seamus had tried to cast a colour changing charm on his potion to make it look more like the board said it should.

Madam Pomfrey gave him an approving smile and turned to face him fully.

"That's half right, if you immobilize a body part by magic while a bone is being set by potion, the bone almost never sets correctly. Merlin knows how many students I've seen over the years who thought they were clever enough to not need a healer after some hi-jinks or another. Now why do you think a non magical cast might be better than a much more reliably stable immobilizing charm Mr. Weasley?"

Ron looked up at the far side of the room, his eyes darting back and forth as he thought carefully about his answer. He'd bet his last Knut this was some sort of test, and Merlin damn it he was passing.

"Is it because the spell somehow changes the effect of the potion?" He started, stopping suddenly at the Healers neutral expression. "If not that than..."

Madame Pomfrey gave a small nod, but otherwise let him continue.

"How does an immobilizing spell actually work on a body part anyway?" He mused, thinking out loud while he worked through it. "Does it...Does it hold the leg in an unnatural position, and make the bones set wrong?"

"Are you asking me, or telling me Mr. Weasley?"

He hesitated, but nodded once firmly.

"Telling Madame, The immobilizing spell must hold the leg too firmly in place, and the bone sets wrong"

"Well that's an Acceptable answer considering I doubt you've thought twice about healing until last night. You missed a rather important part about why being too immobile causes the bone to set wrong" She said "But it was a decently thought out answer, would you like to try for an exceeds Mr. Weasley?"

Ron nodded eagerly, feeling a tinge of apprehension at the thought he might have missed his shot before he even asked her..

"Very well, why then Mr. Weasley has no one simply created a spell that can take the place of the cast, or simply set a bone and be done with it, after all we've been breaking bones for millennia, and the concept of a cast is only a 150 years old at best, and a muggle invention at that. We magicals can be a little slow to change at times, but we've always been miraculous healers compared to muggles"

Ron frowned thoughtfully, that was a very good point. Thousands of years of magical knowledge and learning and it still took nearly a week in an itchy cast you couldn't cast magic on to heal a simple broken bone?

'Is there some kind of magical law I don't know about or something?' He thought ruefully 'Now would be an excellent time to have Hermione here'

That thought made him shake himself and scowl. He did not need to run to Hermione for answers every time things got hard. He had decided on this role and he was bloody well going to do it right. Not just make the same mistake of letting her do his thinking for him over and over like some dumb...kid.

His jaw dropped "It's to mess with us!?" He asked incredulously, getting a simultaneously proud and rather devious look back. "We have to sit in a hospital bed with nothing to do but our homework for a week to teach us a lesson!?"

A rather dry laugh was his response. "And that's an outstanding Mr. Weasley, congratulations"

Ron leant back heavily in his bed "Wow, so there is a spell then?"

"Of course, it's a fairly complicated charm that involves a rather thorough knowledge of the human body but any healer worth their salt could cast it"

"And you don't want a bunch of cocky teenagers who think they're invincible thinking they can break themselves over and over and it'll all be fixed in a jiffy, right?" Ron asked, already knowing the answer

"Correct, being a Healer at a Hospital or to a private client is about clean, professional and thorough healing. Being a school healer is that, plus also making sure you rowdy pile of lunatics don't kill yourselves thinking any injury is just a few fancy words away from being fixed." Nurse Pomfrey gave him a sour look. "Truthfully nearly any damage a student takes here would be remarkably easy to fix for any qualified healer, barring some of the potion accidents and the occasional duel gotten out of hand. But if we taught the students that lesson then let them out into the real world where there isn't a healer right on hand...Well I might be able to fix a severed hand back on to the wrist in a few moments. the average wizard or witch would bleed out before they got to help"

Ron was nodding along, a serious cast to his features, Freckles stretched across pale skin as he frowned.

"The hard part of being a Healer isn't fixing simple injuries, cuts, bruises and the like" Pomfrey continued to lecture. "It's 3 fold, learning about the human body, no healing charm in the world will work completely right if you aren't sure, at least in a general sense, what you want it to do and know why you want to do it. Secondly is Identifying symptoms, and this is something you'll never stop learning. I've been here over 20 years and I still see new injuries every month, knowing how to research and where to look for answers is more important that knowing all the answers for that though"

She paused and Ron felt like sinking into the floor. After his talk with Hermione and Harry last night, and the encouraging words from the healer this morning he'd really thought he was on the right track. But it turns out here was another thing Hermione would have done a much better job with, she could research and study in her sleep and he, well unless it was interesting to him books just put him to sleep.

"Finally" She continued "And most importantly by far. You have to be passionate about healing, you have to want your patient to get better, it's no lie to say a half trained mediwitch with a barely remembered healing spell who actually cares about their patient is more useful than 10 magical researchers who could recite 10 textbooks by rote"

The Nurse stopped and looked Ron square in the eyes.

"Miss Granger was right last night; she would make a rather poor healer. Fascination with how an injury is fixed would never suffice to power any truly strong healing magic"

Ron went to interrupt in her defense, but was cut off.

"Even if she did care for the patient" Nurse Pomfrey glared at him briefly for trying to interrupt. "It takes a certain kind of single mindedness to heal with magic. Focus and Knowledge yes, but Love and Will to see them healed is the real difference between a Researcher and a Healer Mr. Weasley"

"Now, I believe you had a question for me" Her voice was quieter now, and it felt like the room was as hot as a furnace. Ron swallowed thickly and realized this was it, she had explained what was required to do what he'd promised and this was her olive branch.

"Please, teach me how to heal"

A wide smile split Pomfrey's face, and the room suddenly felt like it had shrunk back to normal size and temperature, a cool breeze flowing in from the window beside him.

"You'll have to pass a small test first. If you do though, it would be my pleasure"

Walking away from the hospital wing after delivering Ron's Irresponsibly large bacon sandwich was an odd experience for Hermione. It was heartening that Ron clearly already made some progress on his quest to learn healing. The way he'd been engrossed in a small book of beginners nursing to the point he barely noticed food was heartening. Studying was hardly his forte, but that book held his attention like a professional Quidditch game.

Unfortunately she wasn't anywhere near as confident in her own chances. Professor Babbling was one of the youngest Professors in Hogwarts history and she was already running the runes club and working on her own research. If she wanted to stand a chance of getting the attention she needed here she'd have to be able to offer something worthwhile, which she doubted she could do.

Hermione forced herself to stop her train of thought before she psyched herself out. She was getting in her own head again and it wasn't helping. A flash of the last time she'd been so worried she'd just rushed off to fix it without thinking. Two weeks of her two best friends giving her the cold shoulder had been an awful punishment.

'Still' she mused, glad to have something to take her mind off where she was heading. 'It's not like I was wrong, they were heading out to ride the silly thing by the time I'd gotten back'

Her lips turned down into a small frown. 'I really do need to talk to Harry about that, I know Ron was just upset about the broom being taken' A not at all dainty snort echoed out in the silent halls. 'Quidditch fanatic till death that one, I thought Harry would understand at least, I just wanted to make sure he was okay...'

She shook herself and lightly slapped her cheeks, it was almost time and she didn't need those thoughts in her head right now. There would be time to talk to Harry about it later, and she would. She needed to get some things off her chest about that time and once they were done with this she would.

"Okay" Hermione whispered to herself. "You can do this, there's no way she'll say no to extra lessons. You just have to impress her enough to ask for more"

The door was fast approaching and her breathing started to come faster and faster. Thoughts of potential rune configurations she could propose to impress her teacher, or languages she'd taken the time to memorize outside of class. She stood for a long moment, her hand hovering over the door while her mind tried to shove every possible worst case scenario into her mind.

A pale dainty hand crossed her field of vision, and to her horror knocked firmly on the door. Her head spun to see who had just done that to her, bushy hair flying around and obscuring her vision briefly. Standing at her side was a short dirty blonde girl in Ravenclaw trimmed robes. She was smiling up at Hermione dreamily, a slightly too wide eyes seemingly completely unconcerned with the look of horror she was being given.

"Wh-" She started, staring bug eyed at the younger and much shorter girl.

The wind of the large oak door opening in their faces cut her off, revealing Professor Babbling. The young teacher was dressed in simple grey robes, but in contrast to her usual teaching outfit had her hair down and a pair of simple reading glasses on the tip of her nose.

"Miss Granger?" She asked "What can I do for you" She pulled a small silver pocket watch from her robe. "At 8am on a Saturday?" She did a small double take and noticed the younger Ravenclaw next to her.

"Are you here for the same thing Miss Lovegood?" She asked before Hermione could formulate an answer.

"No, I just saw her struggling to knock, so I thought I'd lend a hand" Luna said kindly, "Although I have been meaning to come and ask you about something"

"Very Well" Babbling Sighed, stepping aside and sweeping her arm back. "Come on in, don't touch any of the-" she paused briefly "Just don't touch anything" She amended

Hermione moved through robotically, trying to ignore the Young woman humming what she was pretty sure was a muggle nursery rhyme beside her. Luna didn't seem to notice at all, walking light-footedly into the apartment that was the runes professor's quarters.

It was a mid sized and obviously well lived in space dominated by a large round coffee table absolutely covered in rune stones of various shapes and sizes. A large leather toolkit was unrolled on one side, a collection of variously sized carving and etching tools shining in the candlelight.

"Take a seat girls" Babbling said from behind them, gesturing over their shoulders at a comfortable brown sofa right behind the toolkit.

Once both girls were sat comfortably Babbling flicked her wand absently and levitated her sturdy desk chair over to the other side of the table and sat down.

"So" She asked, accepting a large coffee mug that had followed her chair in a lazy motion. "What brings you to my door so early girls?"

Luna turned in her seat, bringing her legs up and under her so she could face Hermione fully. She smiled reassuringly at the older girl and nodded for her to begin first. Hermione smiled back tentatively and took a deep breath.

"Professor I'm here this morning to petition you for an opportunity to be taken on as an apprentice" Hermione spoke formally, being careful to enunciate as clearly as possible.

Professor Babbling hummed quietly, "I see" She turned her eyes to Luna. "And you Miss Lovegood?"

"Oh, I just wanted to see if you had any recommendations for getting started early" Luna mused, a slightly musical lilt to her words as she tried to keep the tune going. "I'll be in your class next year and i wanted to get a head start"

The professor leaned back in her chair and took a long drought from her mug. She continued to glance between the two girls over the rim of her cup as Hermione grew more and more nervous. While Luna continued to hum quietly and observe the room Hermione tried to keep herself from fidgeting and making extended eye contact with the Professor that was calmly observing her. Finally after what felt like an eternity, but barely scraped by 10 minutes Hermione was all but vibrating in her spot.

"In the years I've been teaching here I've received 17 requests to be my apprentice" Babbling said simply. "I declined all of them for various reasons. You Miss Granger are the first I've been truly tempted to accept"

The Smile that lit up Hermione's face was so broad it made her cheeks hurt, but it dimmed just as quickly as it came

"But" She emphasized. "There are two things you will need to work on before I can consider taking you on" She smiled to take the edge off Hermione's panic. "You can be impatient, particularly with your peers when they don't grasp things as quickly as you do, and more importantly you have trouble thinking outside the box"

Hermione tried not to look too disheartened as her shoulders sunk. She was surprised when a small pale hand patted her shoulder gently and turned sharply, having nearly forgotten she wasn't alone. The briefly panicked look on the younger girls face relaxed her quickly though, smiling apologetically at Luna and getting a small dreamy smile in return.

"Not to worry though, I have an idea that I think will work well for both of you" Babbling continued.

"Young Miss Lovegood wants an early start to her Runes Learning, and is rather well known for her unconventional ideas. And you Miss Granger, need to learn to temper your frustration with students who don't know as much as you do and will be able to provide an excellent basic introduction to Runes. It was rather serendipitous that you both happened to arrive at my door at the same time."

Luna's smile widened slightly and she leant forward a little into Hermione's personal space. While Hermione gave an unsure smile and leant slightly away, not used to anyone other than Harry, Ron or her Parents being so close.

The three spent the next 45 minutes going over a plan to make sure that there would be enough time over the summer, and what exactly Babbling would be expecting to be done by the end of the holiday. Slowly, a workable idea started to take shape. Hermione would have to check in with her Parents, but if all went well Luna would be coming to stay with her for the first month of the holidays where they would work on theory and memorization. Then in the next month Hermione would be staying with the Weasley's, barely a stone's throw from Luna's Home. There they could do a little more practical work with a trained adult overlooking their work and Hermione would give Luna and her father a chance to try to show Hermione how to think outside the box.

Finally Babbling declared the planning as done as it could be without getting input from the parents involved and escorted the two from her study. As the door shut behind them Luna turned to Hermione and stepped up into her personal space, once again forcing Hermione to take a nervous step back.

"I can't wait to get started!" the little Ravenclaw exclaimed. "Oh this is so exciting, 2 whole months to learn and play and do things together!" She twirled and started to skip down the hallway. "It'll be just like having friends!"

And with that she was gone around a corner, and Hermione was left with a troubled look on her face and her hands clasped in front of her chest.

"Just like having friends?" She murmured to herself, before turning resolutely and marching towards the common room. She knew exactly what it was like to be so lonely that even having someone ask her to help them with homework felt good. She wasn't going to let the odd Blonde girl she'd just met feel like she had when her "Friends" in primary had disappeared as soon as she'd stopped being useful. She wasn't going to be "like" a friend; she was going to be for Luna what Harry had been for her, now all she had to do was tell the boys they were getting a new friend.

Harry was nervous, that wasn't an unusual feeling for him all things considered but he never quite got the hang of dealing with it. The thing about growing up with relatives who hate you, school teachers who ignore you and peers who either bully or ignore you for the entire first 10 years of your life is your ability to deal with things is a little skewed. Pain, danger, scorn and hate from his peers and teachers? That he could handle, it pissed him off and he wouldn't necessarily put up with it in silence but he could compartmentalize it. Good things though? Merlin, he didn't even know where to start with that, when Hermione had hugged him outside the final chamber of the philosopher's stone in first year he'd been more worried about that then walking through a wall of fire!

The thing he was by far the worst at though was asking for help, not that he had any problem saying the words; he just never actually expected anything to happen. He'd been proven right on that time and again too. His distrust started on his first day of Reception when his teacher had punished him for "Ignoring roll call" and had dismissed him when he'd said that he just wasn't used to answering to his name. He hadn't gotten dinner that night when he'd shown Vernon the letter the teacher had sent him home with. As the years went by he saw the same thing over and over, too tired to do his homework because he'd spent his entire weekend slaving away on chores for his relatives? Must be too lazy to work hard. Suddenly had a drop in grades when Vernon had threatened to belt him if he ever "cheated" and showed up Dudley in a test ever again? Maybe he had cheated and even with no proof he should be punished.

Harry suddenly stepped sharply into the alcove of a doorway, and after making sure he was alone in the hallways took a deep shuddering breath and pushed his frustration and impotent rage down. It hadn't gotten any better once he'd arrived here either, he growled internally. Oh congratulations Harry you're a wizard! Magic is real and you get to experience it, it all makes sense now. The reason his relatives hated him no matter what he did, as far as they were concerned he was barely human, Vernon didn't even tolerate Pakistani people, an actual literal wizard? He was lucky he'd made it to Hogwarts at all!

Guess what though; the entire society thinks you're some kind of mystery wonder boy who saved them all from the big bad dark lord. He was used to being ignored; being the weird kid that nobody wanted to hang out with just in case they got lumped in or Dudley decided they made a good target too. He had hoped he'd be normal by wizard standards, or at least that he could keep on being ignored. Instead he got his worst nightmare, every single person he met had some enormous expectation of him and every single one took one look at the short skinny kid with stupid glasses and baggy clothes and wondered what was wrong with him. He hadn't asked for any of this, the dead parents, the abusive relatives, the cruel teachers, giant dogs, trolls, spiders, snakes, dark fucking lords!

The sound of wood splintering broke him out of the spiral he'd been caught in and he spun sharply, stepped back in the same motion and ripping his wand out of his pocket to point at the now imploded door he'd been leaning against. Slowly, motes of white light drifted up from the tip of his wand like firefly's and Harry's harsh breathing started to calm. Luckily the door had led to a simple broom closet, so he wasn't going to be in trouble, as long as he left right now. A wand stuffed into trouser pockets and a quickstep later Harry was two hallways away and starting to calm down. The wisps and crushed door was new, but the spiral of negative emotions was something he'd been dealing with for years, after all when you get pushed down by everyone around you for your entire life wanting to push back was perfectly natural. He was smart enough to know what pushing back meant though, a dark cupboard, an empty stomach and if he was particularly unlucky a smack upside the head from one of Vernon's over sized mitts.

"Focus" he muttered sharply to himself, slapping both his cheeks like he was trying to wake himself up.

He was almost to the doors of Flitwick's office and the slowly ratcheting tension he'd been feeling started to cool. He was going to go in here, ask Flitwick for his help and whether he said yes or no Harry was going to find some way to learn anyway. He rapped sharply on the door and steeled himself, pushing away the nerves in his stomach with ease of practice.

Harry started when the door handle suddenly grew a mouth and smiled at him with brass teeth. "Come on in, I'm unlocked!" It said cheerfully, in a squeaky voice he recognized as Professor Flitwick's.

Unbidden a small smile flickered on Harry's face, Flitwick was his favorite teacher and the way the man seemed to make everything magical endeared him in a way he really didn't understand. Shaking that off he grabbed the door handle, ignoring the feel of a brass lip touching his hand and stepped through the door into one of the most pleasantly chaotic spaces he'd ever seen. There was a bucket of water and sponge floating alone in front of the enormous window that took up most of the back wall and doing a rather good job of cleaning the glass. The walls on either side were lined with either large low set tables covered in magical knick knacks, or book cases that stretched up to the rather high ceilings covered in tomes. The entire room was large, bright, wide open and felt light and magical like he'd just walked into a cool breeze on a hot day.

At the far end the grinning figure of Filius Flitwick sat behind a huge desk, a quill in hand and a large cup of steaming something sat comfortably in reach. Harry felt something relax slightly in him at the delighted look on the teacher's face, seeing someone so happy to see him was a fair new experience for him.

"Mr. Potter!" He called, "please come grab a seat up here with me" The large comfortable looking chair in front of the table suddenly shot back and wiggled in place like an eager dog. Harry gave it a hesitant pat, and then jumped up onto the seat, gripping the arms tightly when it rocketed back forward to put him right at the desk. A large cup floated up from behind the desk, and Harry relinquished his white knuckled grip on the chair after it had finished shuffling around.

"Tea, or perhaps pumpkin juice?" Flitwick asked jovially.

"Ah, no thank you professor, I just finished breakfast" Harry declined politely, watching curiously as the cup seemed to sink into itself a little, like it was disappointed before dropping out of sight.

"Well in that case Mr. Potter. To what do I owe the pleasure of your rather fine company this morning?" He asked, placing his quill down and folding his hands together, his large smile never leaving his face.

Harry took a moment to gather his thoughts, looking past Flitwick to the magnificent view of the forest his office window supplied. "Professor, I-" Harry started, before remembering himself and refocusing on the man in front of him. "I came to ask a favor. Is it true you were a world class duelist before you became a teacher?"

Flitwick's smile dimmed slightly, but took on a more thoughtful edge. "Indeed I was Mr. Potter, I was in the top 10 worldwide before retiring to start my charms mastery. Were you considering joining the circuit then, and looking for advice?"

Harry shook his head emphatically. "No sir, I'm already too famous as it is, I'd rather not draw any more attention if I don't have to" Flitwick chuckled in response and gestured to him to continue. "What I wanted to ask for was if you could teach me how to defend myself better?"

"And why" Flitwick asked slowly, "Would you think I could help teach you self defense better than any other teacher? I assure you Mr. Potter professional dueling and simple self defense have very little in common"

Harry sat silently for several moments, trying to figure out how to phrase exactly what he wanted to ask. He could hardly tell the professor that people kept trying to kill him and he needed to be able to fight back on equal footing.

'Except' Harry thought. 'Maybe that's exactly what i need to do'

"Do you know what happened at the end of my first year professor?" Harry started suddenly, holding the Professors eye as best he could. He hated to talk about these moments, they were completely personal and it felt wrong to bring them up like he was bragging or talking himself up. If anything was going to get Flitwick to agree to teach him though, a dark lord trying to resurrect himself was hard to beat.

"Only in the most general terms I'm afraid, Quirinus led astray by the lure of whatever was within the 3rd floor. You, Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger going after him and in the end the artifact was destroyed, you were in the hospital wing and Quirinus was dead" Flitwick narrated simply, very little of his previous happy demeanor remaining in the face of a dead teacher.

Harry smiled weakly. "I'm surprised the Headmaster didn't tell all the teachers" Harry swallowed dryly, regretting his refusal of a drink. "We thought Snape was the one after the stone, it made sense at the time, between how much he openly loathed me, the broom almost killing me and the way he skulks around all screams bad guy to an 11 year old"

Flitwick nodded, the corners of his mouth twitching up in amusement, but didn't interrupt.

"So when we found out Dumbledore had left the castle at the end of the year and would be gone for several hours we went to professor McGonagall and told her we knew what was hidden there and that we thought Snape was going to steal it" Harry continued, pausing for a moment when he realized there was an ice cold mug of something suddenly sitting next to his hand on the desk. He took a long draught of the cool water before continuing, patting the cup in thanks. "It was the Philosopher's Stone" Flitwick's sharp gasp stopped him for a moment, but he was waved on. "McGonagall said we were wrong, and refused to even look at it. So we thought we had to do something, after all we couldn't let someone bad get their hands on immortality and infinite gold right?" Harry laughed bitterly. "So down we went, past the Cerberus, the Devil's Snare, keys and chess and trolls and logic puzzles. 3 eleven year olds and we got through a trap that was supposed to stop someone who was after the Philosophers Stone with some bruises and a minor concussion."

At this point Flitwick held up a hand and Harry stopped in confusion, and then raised an eyebrow as a crystal decanter full of a brown liquid floated out from the top of a nearby bookshelf.

"I have a feeling Mr. Potter, that if "Philosopher's Stone" wasn't the most shocking part of this story I may need this." Flitwick said with a tight smile, pouring a small amount of the dark brown liquid into a small clear glass that had floated down with the decanter and placed it down next to him. "Please, continue"

"So, we were at the last stage, a logic puzzle with a potion that would let us walk through a wall of fire. Ron had been knocked out on the chess section, and there was only enough potion in the vial for one person. I sent Hermione back to get Ron and hopefully help and I went through to the end"

Harry took a shaky breath, this part was always the hardest to think about, there was a sad comparison to be made when the firs piece of genuine affection he could remember getting was followed by one the most horrible moments in his young life..

"I was shocked to see Quirrell there, I was so convinced it was Snape at the time" Harry shook his head. "Quirrell was standing in front of the Mirror, and at the time I thought he was talking to himself."

"Mirror?" Flitwick asked quietly, the weight of the story making anything louder than a murmur feel disrespectful.

"The Mirror of Erised" Harry explained, noting the teachers understanding look and deciding not to try and explain it. "He was almost ranting at it, talking about how he could see the stone, how he could see himself presenting it to someone."

A deep steady breath rang loudly in the suddenly quiet room, Harry taking a long moment to make sure he was as clear as possible about what happened next. Slowly he explained the entire encounter, from being petrified to getting the stone and seeing Voldemort's shade on the back of Quirrell's head. Finally he explained what had actually happened to Quirrell in the end, the pain in his scar, the smell of burning flesh and the feeling of a man's skull turning to ash in his hands.

"Voldemort isn't gone" Harry said roughly, "And he isn't going to let the fact I've stopped him 3 times go and leave me alone. When he gets his body back, whether it's in a week or a decade I need to be able to survive whatever he sends after me"

"Mr Pot-" Flitwick cut himself off sharply, "Harry" He continued with a gentler tone. "What you're talking about here isn't self defense, or dueling or even the sort of combat the Aurors would teach you. You're talking about fighting a war, one can't fight men like Voldemort and his Death Eaters with half measures, that's how we lost the war last time. I won't ask if you understand how serious that is, it's clear that you understand the gravity of killing a man" Flitwick took a long moment, before pushing away the glass of alcohol in front of him and continuing. "And I won't tell you I can't train you in some of the things that you would need to know to reach the goal you've set, because I can. But if i'm going to teach you I'm going to need your word on two things, and if you can't agree I'm afraid I'll be unable to help."

Harry's shoulders tensed slightly and he sat up ramrod straight, here was his chance to finally have a real shot of surviving what was coming. No matter what Flitwick asked he was going to do his damndest to see it done.

"The first is simple, I'll be teaching you more than simple spells and combat, So i'll need your promise that you won't slack off on something just because it seems unrelated" He said seriously, crystal blue eyes boring into Harry's. "If I tell you to read a philosopher's writings on economics and agriculture then explain to me your understanding of it I expect you to do it" He held up his hand to forestall any complaint, though to his credit Harry only had a slightly mutinous look on his face. "I'm not saying don't question me or think about my instructions, but I'll need your trust that no matter how odd it might seem I have a reason behind it and sometimes the reason will need to be figured out, not explained to you."

Harry nodded cautiously, although he knew that promise would most likely find some way to annoy him in future, it was perfectly reasonable. After all, when Wood had made the Quidditch team start running in the mornings before class they'd all complained. Merlin knew it had won them a few games though, the extra endurance carrying the day when the snitch was being uncooperative. He could trust that not everything he would be taught was going to be immediately and obviously useful.

"The second I think will be much harder for you in particular Harry" His voice gained a harder edge. "I won't train an assassin, or a man whose only use in the world in fighting and killing, no matter how urgent it might be to have those skills. So my second requirement is more open ended, I need you to find a goal, a dream, something that has nothing to do with Voldemort. We can work on it together, you can go work solo or even include your friends but part of your training will either be finding or working on something else, anything else."

"What if that delays me too much?" Harry asked forcefully, trying not to let his frustration leak into his voice "What if Voldemort figures out how to come back and I'm not where I need to be because I spent too much time on some silly hobby?"

"You're right, there is a risk that my insistence here will be the wrong choice, that Voldemort will be back too early and you won't be ready yet" Flitwick admitted. "But much like you are asking me to trust you with knowledge most would consider you far too young to know, you must trust me. That if that eventuality comes to pass, that you won't be the only one fighting, that even if you are perilously close to the top of his personal list that your teachers and friends won't simply allow him to have you." A small wizened hand reached across the large table to pat Harry on the hand. "When Voldemort is finally dealt with permanently, I will not see you lost and only able to fight Harry. There is life now, and there will be life after Voldemort is dead and I would see you live it rather than dedicate yourself to the death of a man to the exclusion of all else."

Harry leant back heavily in his chair and considered the diminutive professors words, he had never really considered what his future would look like. At the Dursleys he figured he'd leave at 17 and get a minimum wage job and try and get his life back. Once he'd made it to Hogwarts and realised there was still a psychopath trying to kill him, he'd kind of just assumed he wouldn't live to see much of his future anyway.

'That' He thought ruefully, 'Might be why I can't seem to be bothered doing anything properly' He considered his lackluster interest in anything that wasn't immediately satisfying and felt a small rush of shame. 'Is that what I've been doing? Just ignoring anything that wasn't fun right away because deep down I didn't think it would matter?'

Harry looked down from the ceiling to meet Flitwicks eyes, and for what felt like hours he studied the much older man. What was being asked of him was more than he honestly thought he was capable of, dedicating his time and life to beating a madman so the very few people he cared about could live life happy and free? Sign him up. Trusting an authority figure to not just teach him, but be willing to defend him against even Voldemort and putting enough faith in him that he could actually start thinking about life after Hogwarts? His mind drifted to his friends, and what he needed to do crystallized in an instant. He was taking an incredible risk here, and if Flitwick decided to go back on the deal or just flat out couldn't help him for whatever reason, well it didn't bear considering. But he needed a proper teacher, so he'd take the dive, Gryffindors charged in after all.

For Professor Flitwick the experience of being pinned to his chair by the intense gaze of a 13 year old was certainly a new one. He'd been under the aggressive eye of more dangerous witches and wizards in his years dueling than most could imagine. There was something about the assessing eye of the young man in front of him that made him sit a little straighter though.

"Sir" Harry started, swallowing thickly. "I want to agree to both of those, I really do but if I'm going to, I need you to know some things first. Without context you might not understand why I'll find that last one quite so difficult"

He received a quizzical look in response and understood why, Flitwick thought he was just single minded about not wanting to die. Having to explain in detail everything he'd been through and why he actually had so much trouble imagining a future, Merlin he wished there was another basilisk to fight instead.

"It all started when Professor Dumbledore left me on the doorstep of my Aunt and Uncles house…"