If only happily ever after meant you could go on to live your life unburdened, unstressed, untroubled for, well… forever. If only happiness could be eternal once you've overcome such incredible odds. Though Catra supposed, with what little ability to think she possessed in the heat of panic, that it was naive to believe she'd finally be free of all her problems.

In the weeks following Hoard Prime's epic defeat, her life was better than it had literally ever been. She had a comfortable home, three meals a day, and a support network where the ambivalence toward her had been mostly resolved. She could bathe when she wanted, she could relax when she needed, she could go where she pleased. Most important of all, she and Adora could finally be together like she'd always secretly wanted them to be.

For years she told herself she didn't want or need all this cushy, pathetic pampering. She didn't need love or comfort or Adora. But, being the impeccable liar she was, she had fooled everyone in that regard; even managing to fool herself. She did want all of that, and more. And now she had it.

So why was she still feeling this way? It was so unfair…

She stared at her reflection with wide, misty eyes. Her fur was matted with sweat and her short head of hair had been aggressively tousled. Her breathing was shallow and came out in quick, labored succession.

It was the first time this had happened since being aboard the First One's ship following an escape from Prime. Ignorantly, she'd hoped she was finally free of these episodes.

But alas, the universe continued to be characteristically terrible.

The world around her became muted and unfocused as she worried over both the images in her head and the racing of her heart. Catra muttered lowly under her breath when she noticed the way her hands shook. "Sh-shit…"

An abrupt and obnoxiously loud bang on the bathroom door nearly had her jump out of her skin. "Hey Catra," came a familiar voice, "you've been in there for a while now." It was Adora, coming to check on her. "You doing okay? Are you feeling sick?"

Catra vaguely wondered how long she'd been locked in the bathroom, but was more preoccupied with getting Adora to leave. They'd all been so happy and carefree since Prime was vanquished. She didn't want to ruin that with her idiotic panic. She didn't want Adora to see her so pitiful. She hadn't seen this for years; not since they were younger teens.

Her eyes uneasily flickered back and forth as she worked her frantic mind for a believable excuse. "U-um, yeah," she spoke, and damned the shakey way the words fell from her quivering lips. It was wholly unconvincing. But it was the best she could do as her voice caught in her throat and needed to be forced out. "Yes, I-I… yes, I'm f-fine… Just s-sick… Thanks." She turned her head away from the door to quietly curse herself "Damn it all." Running clawed fingers through her hair, she began to pace around the spacious royal bathroom. Her tail swished back and forth with nervous energy.

There was palpable silence from the other side of the door, and for a second, Catra actually thought she'd been able to convince her partner to leave. To be fair, Adora had always been somewhat gullible.

Those hopes were snuffed however by a soft sigh from the blonde. "Catra…" she spoke. Her voice was gentle and now held a patient, almost motherly cadence. "Can you come out please?"

Catra clutched the fabric of her shirt. She felt her heart would stop if it beat any faster. Her body was trembling and though she fucking despised it, she thought she might cry.

Adora didn't need to see this.

She opened her mouth and tried to say something, anything to make Adora leave. But she had nothing. All she could think to say was a barely audible, "Why…?"

Her sharp hearing easily picked up on the way Adora moved closer to the door. "Because I love you," she responded. She sounded hopeful and genuine. Even as she was, Catra could feel a subtle spark of joy at the admission. After all, being able to openly express their love for one another was still a recent development. "I love you, and you don't sound okay." Adora paused. Catra refused to say a word.

That is until Adora added, with a cheeky grin which Catra could practically hear, "I could always just turn into She-Ra and open the door, y'know? The lock wouldn't be able to stop me."

That much was true. And Catra knew it.

She bit her lip. She didn't want to open the door. She didn't want Adora to see her. She still shook, her heart still knocked against her ribs, her breath still choked, she still felt moisture behind her eyes. She felt that at any second, she could fall over and die.

"Adora," her voice slipped out as a whimper. "P-please… don't come in. I… I'm fine, o-okay? Leave."

"I may be an idiot Catra," Adora replied quite meaningfully, "but I'm not stupid. I can hear it in your voice. All I want is to help you. No matter what the problem is, I won't think any less of you."

Catra frowned. Her tail coiled around her body. But her girlfriend's affectionate voice pulled her in, and made her want to believe everything would be okay if she simply allowed herself to fall into Adora's protective embrace. Her hand gingerly began to reach out towards the doorknob, shaking all the while, "You p-promise…?" The words felt eerily familiar on her tongue.

"I promise." Came an immediate reply.

A beat of silence passed in which Catra's demons battled for dominance. It was a tough call, but thankfully, her newly found trust for those she loved miraculously won over a lifetime of guilt and fear. Her walls crumbled and with it, the dam which held back her tears.

Salty streams slipped down Catra's furry cheeks and she did what she's struggled her whole life to do. She let Adora in.

The door was unlocked with a tiny click, and the second it was, Adora was coming in. Her face was painted with worry. And the moment she was within reach, Catra fell into her body.

Adora was warm.

It didn't take long before she felt a strong pair of arms wrap cautiously around her torso. Adora hugged her, but made careful not to do it too tight. "Hey," she whispered in Catra's ear, "come on, let's go sit down."

Catra nodded weakly against Adora's shoulder.

She couldn't focus on anything but how sturdy and comfortable Adora's body felt against her own. She didn't even remember sitting down, but next thing she knew, she and Adora were in bed together, the latter girl running a soothing hand through Catra's hair.

"So," Began Adora, tenderly prompting a conversation. "What happened?"

Catra sniffed. Her eyes burned with tears and her chest heaved. Even with her girlfriend's gorgeous eyes looking into her own, even with hands petting her hair, she struggled to find her voice. "N-nothing," she gasped lightly.

"Catra."

"I-I'm serious!" She yelped. She wrapped herself in a hug, her fingers digging into the skin on her arms. This was embarrassing, and Catra scolded herself for seeming so childish. She pulled her knees to her chest and buried her face to hide her shame. "Nothing h-happened, I'm- I'm just freaking the f-fuck o-out!" She stopped to catch her breath.

She was so stuck in her own head she just scarcely noticed how violently she was clinging to herself, and by extent, what her claws were doing to her arms. It stung, but she didn't care. Until of course, Adora noticed blood.

"Catra," Adora quickly pulled Catra's hands away from her arms and held them tight. "Don't hurt yourself. Please." She sounded so sad, like she herself was now on the verge of tears.

A sob ripped through Catra's chest and she found herself further unable to breath. All she could do was remember Shadow Weaver's punishments, as well as her final sacrifice. She remembered the portal incident. She remembered all the battles she'd been injured in. All the times she felt betrayed and alone. How sure she felt that Hoard Prime would kill her the second Glimmer escaped. How sick and violating it was to have him inside her head. She'd nearly died when she fell. She could've, if not for She-Ra's healing magic.

"It's happening again," Adora quietly observed. Realization thick in the way she spoke. A mirage of emotions played across her face but only a few were recognizable to Catra in the throes of distress. "How long has it been since the last one? I remember you saying they didn't happen anymore years before I'd even left The Hoard."

Catra stared at the bedsheets, refusing to make eye contact. "L-last one…" She swallowed thickly, "few… few weeks ago… On the uh, on the sh-ship."

"That recent?" Adora frowned. "Oh Catra…" She made a move to place her hand on Catra's thigh but quickly stopped when the feline flinched away. She sighed, but remained patient and understanding. "And was that the first time it had happened in a while?"

Catra shook her head. "I lied… about being better…" It was a morose admission, yet still, it was a weight off her shoulders. "I just, n-never let you see it… see it happen, I m-mean."

Adora nodded. "Catra, may I touch you? Can I hug you again?"

Catra blinked before slowly mumbling her permission. Once she did, it was moments till she was once again wrapped lovingly in Adora's arms. She brought her hands up and gripped the fabric of Adora's shirt and shoved her face into the crook of her girlfriend's neck. She noticed, absentmindedly, that once she felt protected by Adora, the shivers racking her small frame began to still.

Adora hummed softly. A sweet and random melody, which she was likely making up as she went, traveled between Catra's ears and pushed some bad thoughts away.

Adora hummed for a little while— until she thought Catra would be able to properly listen to what she had to say. "Can you take some deep breaths for me?" Adora asked. "Try to follow my breathing."

Catra said nothing, but forced herself to focus through the haze and hone in on the way Adora's chest rose and fell against her. As Adora took in a deep bout of air, Catra put all her energy into doing the same. Once she had, she held that breath until instructed not to by Adora's lungs. Once they both exhaled, another intake of air soon followed. Then they'd let it go again. Rinse and repeat for what could've easily been either minutes, or hours.

Though she had no way of knowing how long they had done nothing but breath together in silence, Catra did realize that at some point, she'd begun to feel significantly better. Her heartbeat was back to a normal, steady pace. She wasn't shivering. She could breathe again.

Once she recognized this to be the case, Catra sunk into Adora's body. She allowed herself to go limp against her lover and sigh. "Thank you."

Adora smiled down at her partner. She turned her head to the side and pressed a warm kiss against the crown of Catra's head. "You're welcome."

The next several minutes was nothing but basking in the quiet comforting presence Adora had to bring. It took a little bit of time, but eventually her tears slowed to a complete stop, and she realized her episode had thankfully come to an end.

Their embrace was nice and Catra would've had no qualms with remaining entangled forever. But, to her chagrin, she knew she'd have to talk about this eventually. And so, as disappointing as it was, she forced herself to sit up.

Adora's concern was unmistakable and incredibly easy to read. "I can tell you wanna say something." Catra's voice was softer than usual, and quite hoarse.

Adora worried her lip between her teeth and glanced down at Catra's injured arms. "Er… y-yeah. Well, sure. But first, can I go get something to bandage you with?"

Catra followed Adora's anxious stare. "It's not that bad." Her claws were sharp, and it stung like hell, but truthfully, it wasn't anything serious.

"But—"

"Adora, really." Catra reached out to place a hand on Adora's thigh, much like the blonde had tried earlier. She gave a light, reassuring squeeze. "I'm not just saying that cause I'm all… Catra-y." She made an attempt to curl her lips into their usual smartass simper. "I'm fine."

Adora didn't seem convinced. "You say you're fine a lot. Doesn't mean you're telling the truth."

"I'm fine now." She clarified. "More or less."

Adora studied Catra with tangible intensity. "Well… okay." She relented and backed off. For the time being at least. "There's a lot I could say, but…" Her beautiful sapphire eyes bore into Catra's soul. "I'm not mad that you lied about being better. I'm just sad that you've been handling this alone, for years, in secret."

Catra sheepishly scratched the back of her neck and looked away. She still felt embarrassed, despite the complete absence of judgement from her girlfriend. It was hard to wash away years of conditioned behavior, Catra supposed. "Well… The Hoard doesn't like weakness. So y'know."

"Yeah," Adora's gaze flickered downward, a sad look of understanding washed over her. "I know." Her hand found its way to Catra's, she started lazily rubbing her thumb in calming circles. "But now that we're not in The Hoard anymore, you know you can come to me when you're not feeling good. Like…"

Catra offered a tiny, bashful grin. "Like… I don't have to lock myself in the bathroom?"

"Yeah."

"Well…" Catra began, "force of habit I guess. Plus I didn't want you to see me so… pathetic." The last word was like acid. She spat it with deep contempt.

Adora blinked. "Um, what?" Call Catra crazy, but she almost sounded pissed. Not at her, just… pissed. "Catra, I could never, not in a million years think you're pathetic. You're seriously the most badass person in Etheria."

Catra shrugged. Adora's words tugged her heart strings, but her brain shouted at her to not believe it.

Adora took Catra's chin in her hand, and forced their eyes to meet. "Catra. You're beautiful and strong. Everyone has bad days."

"Not everyone's bad days involve having a complete meltdown. Like, some whiney fucking child."

Adora shook her head, her ponytail swishing side to side with the motion. "Not everyone has been through what you've been through. That kind of shit… can leave lasting hurt."

Catra opened her mouth, but her immediate response was cut short by a secondary observation. "I like when you swear by the way," Catra spoke. Perhaps she was just trying to divert the conversation into less heavy waters, but she definitely wasn't lying. "It's kinda hot," she smirked.

Adora's cheeks flushed, and her ears turned a delightfully adorable shade of red. "Sh-shut up, you." She tried to frown disapprovingly, but her lips tugged upwards into a playful smirk. "I'm trying to be serious."

"Yeah, yeah."

Adora smiled.

Adora's smile was the most beautiful thing in the universe. At least in Catra's eyes. The blonde continued to speak, her voice just as authentic and pretty as ever. "Look, Catra. You don't have to believe me. Not yet at least. But trust me, you are amazing. You are not pathetic. I hope you see that someday, but for now, please just come to me when you need to. I'll drop everything to be with you."

"I…" Catra felt an inexplicable warmth. She felt it the first time they had kissed. She continued to feel it off and on again in the weeks following that moment. Is this what it felt like to be loved, she wondered? It was confusing. But it was nice. For all she had grown, Catra was still wary towards vulnerability. She was scared to show weakness. But something in Adora's face, she couldn't understand what, but it told her that everything would be okay. "Okay…"

"You promise?" Adora asked.

"Yeah…" Catra gently nodded. "I promise."