Last Lesson

Season: six only because Jonas is in it.

Rating: PG-13

Category: Angst, much, much angst

Spoilers: Some slight season seven implications, but no real spoilers

Disclaimer: Wait… let me check…Nope Stargate still not mine

Author's note: This is written from Jonas's point of view, about one last lesson he learns.

I watched solemnly as the predicted rain fell down lightly in a mist around our shoulders. I guess the sky felt it was necessary to join in on the day's activities. It was the first of these rituals that I had actually attended, although there have been a few during my stay here. There wasn't room enough for anyone to see anything that was going on; not that anyone really wanted to see anyway. The grounds were so filled with people, that everyone was standing shoulder to shoulder. Well, except for us. We got seats right up front.

From what I have gathered about these ceremonies, everyone is invited out of respect, but only the closest people to the one being honored get to sit up front. It didn't really matter to me. The sadness would have been the same whether I was sitting in the front row, or sitting in my quarters back at the SGC. For the first time since my arrival here on Earth, I have experienced something that I never thought would be possible here. I never thought it would be possible back on Kelowna either, but it's somehow worse because it is here on Earth.

We watched as the six soldiers set their precious cargo down in front of us. We didn't move. Dr. Frasier was sitting next to me, and Cassandra was on the other side of her. To my left, sat Teal'c, Dr. Jackson and the Colonel, and on the other side of Colonel O'Neill sat General Hammond. Jacob and Selmak sat across from us with his family sitting next to him. Seats were arranged for the presidential advisor and his entourage who were also in attendance. The gray sky continued to weep. I didn't know how to feel. I sat with my friends as the father continued speaking. I really don't remember what he even said.

Then it was General Hammond's turn to stand and say something. I know he had prepared something professional and stoic, but when he got up to say his speech, his legs just collapsed, and Teal'c and Colonel O'Neill helped him back into his chair. I had never seen him like that before, and by the look on most every one of the soldier's faces, they had never seen the General like that either. Instead, the president's advisor took it upon himself to stand up in the General's place.

He spoke of the work and the theories and the science. He spoke about work ethics and military professionalism. He spoke about the compassion that we all had received, and the love and camaraderie that we all had shared. But I kept wondering the whole time, if he wasn't saying those things because it was his job. If he wasn't keeping up the president's image because ninety eight percent of the personnel in attendance were working below him. Maybe he did have a little decency and actually did care. Whatever the advisor's reasons for speaking were, I really didn't care.

Mostly I remember the sky. I remember how it blended well with the dark blue of all the Air Force uniforms. I remember looking up and feeling grateful that the mist was coming down. I remember how the gray color eerily matched Colonel O'Neill's eyes, although they were normally such a vibrant brown. I remember how straight and tall the soldiers were all standing, with such pride and dignity. Finally, anyone who wanted to say something did, and it was over. None of us said anything though. I guess we figured there wasn't any need to say what was already in everyone's head.

As the ceremony closed, seven airmen stepped to the side and raised their arms. No one even flinched as the three shots rang out. Then, from somewhere in the back, the music came. They call it 'Taps', but I have no Idea what that means. With the music came the tears. Silent, but felt by every one of us. I didn't even know I was crying until the last note rang, and the flag had been folded up. Jacob accepted it with humility. I don't know if I could have done the same. When it was all said and done, we got up to leave. No one said much of anything, but the sky wept with us, and the drops began to fall harder and faster.

It wasn't until Teal'c and I had reached the car that I realized the Colonel wasn't with us. I turned back to see what was keeping him, but I already knew. Colonel O'Neill stood over Sam with his head down and arms hanging at his sides. I don't think he realized that anyone was watching, but we all were. Dr. Frasier, and Cassie, Dr. Jackson and General Hammond. Teal'c was right next to me, and even Jacob and his family turned to see what we all were looking at.

We all watched as the Colonel carefully opened his uniform rain coat and pulled out a single white rose. He held it in his hand for a moment and hesitated before gently laying it down on the gray colored casket. I didn't realize it then, but that too matched the sky that surrounded us. The Colonel bent down, leaving his hand still on top of the elegant slate colored box. He removed his hat with the other hand and as he leaned over, he put a small kiss on the wet porcelain surface. Then he stood straight up, put his hat back on, and gave a perfect hand salute. I'm not an expert on that sort of thing, but I thought it was flawless. He started to turn towards us to come back to the car. We didn't want to just leave him alone, we couldn't. I know I couldn't even take my eyes of off him. This was the first time since Sam's demise, that Colonel O'Neill had shown any kind of emotion. He had been keeping his distance from all of us, not that I blame him any. We all got in the cars, and returned to the SGC in silence. That was four days ago.

It is said here on Earth, that if a woman loses a man, she will still be strong enough to carry on. It is also said that if a man loses a woman, he also loses a part of himself. When Sam was buried, Colonel O'Neill lost a part of himself that day. I hope one day he will find it again. Although women are not the dominant species here on Earth, as we've encountered on other worlds, they are the strength and soul of every man here. Mothers and sons, fathers and daughters, sisters and brothers, husbands and wives, and commanding officer to his female subordinate. The lesson I am taking away from this, is a lesson of love. Whether it is acknowledged or not, it is undying and unconditional, and I now understand what drives the people of this planet, and why they are so valuable in the fight against the Goa'uld. The Goa'uld can't take away the passion that they all have for each other.

Life Goes on. Colonel O'Neill is still here at the SGC and he is still the leader of SG-1. Dr. Jackson and Teal'c are still with him, and I am returning to Kelowna in the morning. I am leaving only this journal behind, in the hopes that it will show my gratitude to the people of this planet. I will miss you all, but I give you my vow to pass on the lessons you have taught me, especially this last lesson.

Thank you to the people of Earth. Especially, Colonel O'Neill, General Hammond, Teal'c, Dr. Jackson, Dr. Frasier, and Sam, wherever she is now. I couldn't have asked for a better Earth family.

All my best, Jonas Quinn

O'Neill closed Jonas's journal as he sat alone in his office. He glanced over at a picture on his desk of his team when they had all been together after Daniel came back. The General had taken it, and Sam, Teal'c, Daniel, and Jonas, as well as himself, were all smiling broadly. It didn't happen a lot anymore. He sure wished it would.

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Sorry that was such a downer, but I had a vision, and well this is how it turned out. Let me know what you think, eh?