"There are going to be Jedi who disappoint us."

She had taken those words to heart. Rushing after her Master in that moment, she had understood that, yes, war could change ideals. War could warp a person with the horrors they faced that even the closest companions would not recognize the creature that was left in the wake of battle. She accepted that fact, even anticipated for some of her fellow Jedi, even herself, to waver on where her loyalties were.

She never thought to question him, her Master, on where his loyalties were.

She never thought he would disappoint her. Even in dire situations, her Master continued to surprise and surpass even the most hardcore of expectations. She would admit, but never out loud, that a small part of her idolized him.

She never imagined, never entertained, that he would be the Jedi who betrayed the entire galaxy.

The Chosen One. The Hero with No Fear. Anakin had a lot to live up to, but she had watched how he proved himself and inspired others with his actions. While not the ideal model Jedi for the Order, he was the perfect model for her; what a soldier, a good friend, a noble soul, should aspire to be.

"But as long as we know there are good Jedi who fight for what's right, it makes it all worthwhile."

She thought him to be one of those Jedi, the Jedi that would fight for the greater good. Defend the weak and helpless. One of the Jedi that would make all this suffering and death worthwhile because there was some good to return to. Because there were still good, noble people out there who fought for the peace and safety of others. She had grouped Anakin into that category of noble warriors that she never considered that he might carry some doubts within himself as well, that he was on the brink of leaping over the edge and drowning into the chaotic abyss that this war had created.

She never thought that when she left him, she had taken the nobility and assurance with her, leaving a warrior now uncertain if there was even any good left to fight for.

xXx

"The apprentice lives."

My apprentice.

The horrifying realization overwhelmed her senses, his voice, his cold voice, whispering in her head. But amidst that cold chill, there was an intrigue to his tone.

It terrified her.

She had reached out, sensing that familiar bond. The presence she once felt comforting was now filled with a terrifying chill. Still, she had pursued that presence, aided by Kannan, as she chased after what she had once thought to be a long dead ghost. She had acknowledged but ignored the dark foreboding presence that clung to that soul.

She had hoped, yet feared, for what she would find.

The apprentice...how he had addressed her so coldly. After all that they had been through, the bond that they shared, and he now pursued her with a hatred she did not know him capable of.

Perhaps, that was because it wasn't him! It couldn't be. Her Master could never be this vile creature shrouded in such anger and hate. He could not have committed such unspeakable acts against their kind. He wouldn't!

And yet, the bond between them would not be ignored. The Force would not lie to her.

All of this happened in a miniscule of seconds, his mind connecting with hers, both familiar and sinister. Her breath was stolen as she cried out, his presence connecting with hers. Horror and anguish screamed out into the Force that she collapsed, her mind dark as the pain of the knowledge was too much to bear.

"There are going to be Jedi who disappoint us."

It couldn't be. Her Master...Anakin would never commit such a terrible betrayal! He lived and fought for the Jedi, for the innocent! He would have fought for the innocent in the Temple who died at the hands of a Sith, the very Sith who mercilessly hunted her. Her Master would be by her side defending her, not hunting her.

Her Master stood as her defense, her teacher. Not as her hunter, her executioner.

"...Jedi who disappoint us."

How could he have fallen? He would die on the steps of the Jedi Temple, defending his brothers and sisters in the Force, not slaughter them. He would have faced down the Sith, this...this slave of the Force. This...this…

monster

She couldn't think it. She couldn't even label him as such. Even as she denied it with such vehemence, she was shocked to realize that there was a small part of her that acknowledged even the slimmest of possibility that her Master and the Dark Lord were one and the same.

The realization brought her to her knees, her heart bleeding with pain and longing.

The Master who taught her the ways of the Force, who took pride in her abilities, was now hunting for her for the very reasons he had trained her.

Her body trembled as the cold seeped into her veins and chilled her body. Her soul trembled, aching for the touch of her Master, however corrupted their connection now was.

Oh Force, she choked out, could she even acknowledge what had happened to him? Or was she so relieved at his survival, yet horrified at what he had become, that she lost any strength to do the right thing?

xXx

In the darkness of the temple, alone with her thoughts and treacherous heart, she immersed herself in the Force.

"Ashoka."

His voice, soft and tender, touched her senses. She looked, knowing that he was not there yet hoping that the voice was accompanied by the man she both feared and treasured.

"Where were you when I needed you?"

The very same question she now asked herself was thrown back at her. Yet she couldn't bring herself to turn around and face him, however much her muscles quivered to turn and see him. What would she see if she did? The mischievous blue eyes of her Master, or the masked presence of her enemy?

Because of that doubt and hidden fear, she willed herself to remain kneeling in her position, despite his presence hovering over her shoulder; neither menacing nor comforting, but neutral.

Every accusing word from his mouth chipped away at her resolve. She now pictured the many scenarios of what she could have done to prevent this...all of this...from happening. She should have done better. She should have stayed by his side as a padawan was destined, loyal and watchful.

Even in that, she failed.

"Do you know what I've become?"

Fear stabbed through her heart like a blaster bolt; quick and precise, when her Master confirmed her own fears. The ominous sound of the respirator filled her ears, the neutral presence now menacing.

Pure light pierced through the darkness as her lightsaber activated. A tear of anger, or perhaps sorrow, trailed down her cheek as she whirled around, ready to face him. Her Master or her enemy, she did not know. All she knew was that she needed to see him.

But there was nothing. His voice, his presence, was gone. Both of them: Vader and Anakin.

Collapsing to her hands and knees, she begged the Force. Take it away, she begged, take it away, this truth that you have revealed to me, this horror you have subjected me to.

The Force lingered, never fleeting, but unresponsive to her pleas.

You cannot run from reality. You cannot run to him, just as you cannot run from him.

The comfort and assurance she found in her Master was gone, now replaced with an infinite feeling of betrayal…

...and acknowledgment. Their confrontation was inevitable, now that both were aware of the other. She will have to face him at some point, sooner than later, she knew.

But could she do it? The thought of confronting...possibly even killing...her Master made her sick. She would have to confront him, but could she even kill him if it came to that.

He will kill you.

She closed her eyes, more tears trailing down her cheeks. He would do it. Oh Force, she knew he would do it! Yet she still couldn't even fathom the idea of killing him. Her heart wouldn't entertain it.

xXx

She had hoped that facing him, seeing him in his armored suit, would banish all thoughts of Anakin. He certainly looked nothing like her Master, a warrior of light. Standing before her was an agent of darkness. Tall and imposing, his mask gazed at her with such soulless depth.

Yes, there was nothing that could have led the naked eye to believe that he was Anakin Skywalker.

But the Force did not rely on the physical realm to reveal the truth.

His Force signature, however dark and corrupted, was still her Master. This bringer of death, a practitioner of darkness, was her Master.

Yet she dared to entertain some hope. If she could still sense her Master buried beneath such corruption, then surely it meant that he wasn't entirely lost to her.

His brutality sent her on the defense, and she realized with an inkling of fear that he might actually kill her. Moving back at such a rapid pace, she could only respond to his attacks. Her desperation and fear were a handicap to her skills. Vader attacked with such ruthlessness, that there was no question that now sought her demise.

Was he so determined to rid the galaxy of Anakin Skywalker's last memory?

Fire burned within her. If she was the last memory of Anakin, then she would continue to live, and thus remind this darkness of the light that once lived.

His threat to kill her did not phase her. The darkness was a ravenous, lying beast. She would stand before it, an avenger for her master, a student, and as a warrior. Not a Jedi, but as a fighter.

Even as the floor crumbled beneath them, even as death looked certain, her mind focused, not on the impending death, but on the assurance of the Force.

Somehow, her future did not end in this dark temple.

A/N: So I am late to the party with this short Ashoka-Vader/Anakin angst. But I figured I'd try my hand at it after the finale of the Clone Wars.