CHUCK VS. THE FALLS

BY

BOB WRIGHT

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hi, I'm Chuck, and here's a few things you probably need to know...or maybe you just forgot...

Gothel broke into the castle, stole the child, and just like that, gone. The kingdom searched and searched, but they could not find the princess, for deep in the forest, in a hidden tower...oops, sorry, wrong story. Trust me, though, that's a good one when you get around to it. Anyway...

Setting, of course, is always important to know. For your benefit, this one is roughly set about halfway through Season 2, when it is the opinion of the writer that the show was at, or, alternately, close to, its absolute peak. Also, be fairly warned it's likely this story's humor may end up coming off a bit broader than what normally made it on air. Or maybe not. You be the judge, but hopefully the story will be just as good for regardless.

And oh yes, the most important part: Chuck and all related characters and indicia are registered trademarks of Warner Brothers Television, College Hill Pictures, and Wonderland Sound and Vision. And so, with the briefing complete, let us begin this story...

He was running down a long hallway, a briefcase in hand. They were right behind him, heavy weaponry in hand. And there was no doubt they meant to kill him. Which seemed a lot more likely as he now made what turned out to be a wrong turn and ran straight into a dead end wall. He gulped as they advanced towards him, no doubt a split second away from finishing him...

...when suddenly two familiar figures appeared from behind them and started delivering blows and kicks to the villains, who fought back as best they could. He managed a smile; right on cue. And yet, at the same time, he also felt a bit weak, having needed to be bailed out again. Nonetheless, he took pleasure in watching the villains get their due, even as he heard his named being called...

"Chuck? Chuck? Hey buddy, you in there?"

Chuck Bartowski jerked upright from his prone position atop the Nerd Herd desk. "Huh? Oh, uh, yeah," he turned to face the familiar concerned look of Morgan Grimes staring at him, "Uh, yeah, Morgan, just, uh, long night last night."

"Um, not to pry, buddy, but I just can't help noticing you've had a lot more long nights lately," Morgan pointed out with raised eyebrows, "What exactly do you and Sarah do when you're out together?"

"Well, let me just say, if you only knew, pal. If you only knew," Chuck's gaze fell a few aisles to the right, where the large, imposing figure of Major John Casey-the Major part, of course, not known to anyone else in the store at the moment-wheeling a dryer into place in Aisle 4, the old familiar rock hard stoic expression locked onto his face. Although Chuck didn't have the warmest of relationships with Casey at the moment (although then again, he had to wonder if anyone ever had), he was grateful for every time the man had come to his aid. As he and Sarah had last night when Chuck had been cornered inside the hotel with the diamonds that the international smuggling gang he'd flashed on the previous week had been bringing into the country. Chuck was hoping they'd get a brief respite from active duty for a while; he'd had more than enough excitement lately for his taste.

"You know, Chuck, I know you and Ellie and a whole bunch of other people tend to come down on me for being lazy, but if you keep showing up like this, falling asleep on the job, Big Mike's going to notice," Morgan continued to him, "And I'm not sure what career options you'd have if he dropped the ax on you."

"Um, Morgan, you really think he'll notice me dozing off over the rest of the Nerd Herd?" Chuck whispered, pointing at their co-workers-for today, merely Lester Patel and Jeff Barnes, as Anna Wu was on vacation for the week-slouched in their chairs, clearly either exhausted or hung over or both, staring blankly ahead at the Buy More customers walking past their station without stopping. "I think, confidentially, you and I are in better positions at the moment," he shot another glance at Casey, who for now guaranteed he was in a better position, at least as long as he still had the government's top secret spy computer in his head...

"Just be careful, Chuck; you never know where in life a pitfall may pop up," Morgan offered some final advice, patting Chuck on the shoulder before walking off. Chuck nodded drowsily. He glanced out the Buy More's door, where the sun was shining brightly, befitting a warm May day in Burbank. Business had been brisk since he'd come in for the day, thanks to a number of pre-Memorial Day sales. The Nerd Herd, however, had not gotten any calls, which was just as well for Chuck, as he preferred to have a slow day to decompress from last night.

It was at this moment that the store's intercom buzzed to life. "Attention all staff, may I see you in my office in five minutes?" Big Mike's authoritative voice rang out. There came loud snorts to Chuck's left as Lester and Jeff, who apparently had in fact been asleep with their eyes open for some reason, woke up. "Dude, what's that about?" Lester asked sleepily.

"It wasn't my fault, I swear it," Jeff insisted, raising his hand as if under oath, "The break room vending machine exploded completely on its own..."

"OK, OK, no need to panic you guys," Chuck cut him off, "It might not be anything major at all. Maybe it's another employee competition of some kind..."

"Listen up people, I have important news," Big Mike declared, pacing up and down the line of his employees like a drill sergeant, "I received a call this morning from our esteemed chairman Mr. Moses Finklestein. It is Buy More tradition to send representatives of one store to the Great American Video Game Jamboree to purchase the newest video game releases, and to plug the company for the attendees. This year, it's the Burbank Buy More's turn in the rotation to attend the convention, which will be held in Niagara Falls. Unfortunately, though, due to the people in charge of the jamboree being idiots, they accidentally signed it up to be in Niagara Falls, Canada rather than New York. So whoever goes is going to have to be up to date on their passports. Now, do I have about five volunteers willing to go?"

"I'll go," Morgan's hand immediately shot up, making Chuck raise his eyebrows in surprise; Morgan ordinarily wouldn't do anything to advance his job at the Buy More as far as he knew. "And Chuck would be glad to come along too, right, Chuck?" Morgan turned to him.

"Um..." Chuck thought it over for a moment. Somehow, part of him wondered if this would be a recipe for disaster. Then again, after everything he'd gone through lately, a break did seem like a good idea. And, he realized with a sideways glance, he knew someone else who could probably use a vacation...

"Uh, yeah, Big Mike, I'll go too," he nodded at the store manager, "And I volunteer Casey as well," he pointed at the undercover NSA operative, whose head shot up with an annoyed look.

"Wonderful, enjoy the trip, Casey," Big Mike said before Casey could say anything to protest the decision. "Anyone else?" he asked the rest of the employees. No one else volunteered. "OK then. Liebowitz, Crowley, congratulations, you're going," Big Mike told two newer employees Chuck wasn't all that familiar with just yet. "Your plane leaves in two days for Buffalo, where you'll catch a shuttle ride into Canada. While you're there, I'd like at least five of the top video games on the market brought back in bulk for sale here once the week's over; use your best judgment-if that's possible," he frowned sternly at Morgan, who flashed a big innocent grin, "And above all, remember, knuckleheads, this is a business trip. Do not let me hear that any of you are goofing off on this trip, or your jobs will be opened immediately once you're back. OK, dismissed, people. I'll be going to lunch, so no monkey business while I'm gone."

The Buy More employees broke up and headed back to their work stations or the break room. "This is great, buddy," Morgan eagerly slapped Chuck's hand once they were out of Big Mike's earshot, "We get a whole week together playing video games..."

"Uh, yeah, but, uh, Morgan, out of curiosity, is that the only reason you agreed to do this?" Chuck had to ask, "Because this truthfully isn't normal for you to do this..."

"Of course it is, Chuck, but it's more than that. It's you and I getting to be together and having fun with each other again," Morgan told him, "We haven't done that in a while."

"True, but like Big Mike said, if we don't take this seriously..."

"Chuck, Chuck, we'll be in a whole different country. What Big Mike doesn't know won't hurt us-and there's no way he'll know anything when we're out of the country," Morgan said with a sly grin, "We'll be completely in the clear-that is of course, unless John rats us out," his frowned, "Why'd you volunteer him to come?"

"Well, Morgan, knowing John, I thought that he..." Chuck started to explain, but was cut off as Casey's hand grabbed him hard on the shoulder from behind and spun him around. "I'd like a word with Chuck here, Grimes, alone," Casey told Morgan with a stern glare, one that made Morgan gulp, nod quickly, and hustle off. "What the hell are you doing, Bartowski!?" Casey thundered menacingly in Chuck's face, "You can't just drag me away on some Nerd Herd glory trip and endanger national security!"

"Well, Casey, I felt that getting out a bit and having fun would be good for you, as a person," Chuck explained, "You do know how to have fun, right?"

"Grabbing a known terrorist by the throat and breaking his neck's pretty fun," Casey said with a devilish gleam in his eyes.

"OOOOOOOkay then, maybe it would be for the better not to have fun on this mission...uh, trip," Chuck said softly, taking a step back away from Casey, "Seriously, though, Casey, this helps your cover, being a good company man..."

"And feeding the whims of your lunatic friends?" Casey shot a disgusted look at Morgan, leaning like a king against the wall, "Being lined up against a firing squad wall and shot in the back sounds better to me!"

Well, give it a try, Casey, maybe you'll find something to like about it," Chuck pressed him. He decided, nonetheless, to change the subject. "Anyway, though, thanks for the save last night," he told his handler, "I know that sometimes I may not show it directly, but I really appreciate everything you and Sarah do to keep me safe on missions."

"Duly appreciated, Bartowski. If you'd stopped panicking long enough to notice the fire escape was the other way, though, maybe we wouldn't have needed to save you," Casey grumbled.

"I'll, uh, keep that in mind for next time, Casey," Chuck's gaze turned to the front door, seeing the lovely figure of Sarah Walker (at least publicly to him) entering the store, presumably to check up on him. "Well, uh, I guess that's all for now; carry on," he told Casey. He bustled over to Sarah. "Morning," he greeted her.

"Morning," she gave him a small smile-one, Chuck noticed, that seemed to be smaller than usual. "Everything OK?" he asked her.

"Yes, I'm good," she nodded quickly, although her tone was such that Chuck wasn't sure she was being completely honest. He made a mental note to pry deeper later. "Are you all right?" she asked him now.

"Yeah, sure, I, uh, I'd like to say, thank you for the save last night. Some of the kicks you dished out have to rank among your very best," he praised her, making her crack a slightly larger smile, "It's just..." he hung his head, "It's just, Sarah, I, I feel like sometimes I cause more...what I'm saying is...I panicked. And that makes me feel terrible, like I'm holding you and Casey back whenever I panic..."

"Chuck, it's all right," Sarah put an understanding hand on his shoulder, "You're seeing things as the Intersect that would make a lot of people scared. I've seen spies in the field that have broken under the strain of what they see and do," she shuffled about uncomfortably, clearly affected by whatever unpleasant memories she had of her spy service, Chuck surmised, "It's going to take time. But just know, I've got your back, always."

"I trust you," Chuck nodded at her. His attention was now captured by the bell at the Nerd Herd desk ringing. He turned to see a tall man standing there, pounding the bell hard-and that Jeff and Lester, not surprisingly, had abandoned their post, perhaps for shenanigans in the break room. "Uh, looks like I'll have to take this," he told Sarah, pointing at the man, "Hey, listen, though, I've signed up for a company trip to Niagara Falls and shoehorned Casey into it-I kind of thought it would be good for him. If there's no missions on the slate for us, would you be able to, well, come along, just for the fun of it?"

"That's a big if, Chuck," she told him, then grinned, "But if we can make it work, sure, I'd like it."

The bell at the Nerd Herd desk rang harder. "Right, right, coming," Chuck called out to the man, waving Sarah farewell for the moment and rushing for the desk. "Sorry, sorry, company business," he rambled, "Uh, how may I help you, sir?"

He looked up at the customer...and instantly flashed, critical national intelligence information streaming in front of his eyes in his mind, making it quite clear the man in front of him was likely not there for a normal reason. "I had ordered a new Blu-Ray recorder from here last week," the man said in a low, ominous voice, "It should be waiting in the back in a box marked A64A2. Could you get it for me now, please?"

"Um, uh, actually, sir, I, uh, I'm not sure if it came in yet, although I, uh, haven't looked lately, to be honest," Chuck stammered quickly, glancing around worriedly for Casey and/or Sarah, "If, uh, you'll just give me a minute here, I'll, uh, take a look back in the stock room and, uh, see if there's any there. You just, uh, wait here, I'll be, um, right back."

He walked briskly away from the Nerd herd counter until he was out of the man's sight, then broke into a run towards Casey in the microwave aisle. "Casey, we've got a major emergency here!" he hissed softly to the NSA operative, "I've got a Fulcrum agent at my desk wanting a specific Blu-Ray box from the back!"

"Really?" Casey inquired, his gaze shooting to the man at the Nerd Herd desk.

"I flashed, Casey; this guy's in deep with Fulcrum!"

"I see," Casey nodded. "Oh, miss," he called out to Sarah, who was just about to exit the store, "Before you go, can I interest you in any of these microwaves?" Chuck saw Casey's eyes dart towards the Fulcrum agent, telegraphing to Sarah that there was danger afoot. Sarah turned to the enemy agent, then nodded knowingly at Casey and mouthed, "Tell Chuck to find a safe place," at him. "Right," Casey mouthed back. "Head to Castle, Bartowski, we'll take care of this," he told him softly.

"Right, right, Castle's very, very good right now," Chuck agreed. He walked rapidly towards the break room, hoping no one was inside and that he'd be able to make a clean getaway...

...when suddenly, the Fulcrum agent stepped right into his path. "I don't like being kept waiting," he snarled murderously at Chuck.

"I, I do apologize, sir; work is pretty busy right now," Chuck tried to reason with him, "I'm, uh, I'm working getting your box right now..."

He gasped as the agent pulled a gun and thrust it into his chest. "So let's go get it together, then, so I can be sure you do this right," the man ordered him, "Walk to the back, don't try and alert anyone."

"Walking, walking, there's no need to shoot!" Chuck whimpered, turning and walking at gunpoint towards the stock room, "You know, sir, I know these Blu-Rays are pretty hot right now, but going this far to get one's a little extreme...!"

"Just shut up!" the Fulcrum agent warned him, "Just get me what I came here for, and we'll have no problems."

Chuck just then heard footsteps rapidly approaching from behind. "Trust me, sir, you'll get what you came here for," he said, then quickly hit the deck. Before the agent could react, Sarah jumped him from behind and started raining down blows and kicks on him like a hurricane. He tried to aim his gun at her, but she slapped it out of his hands, sending it sliding into Big Mike's open office. The agent shoved her against the wall, grabbed Chuck by the arm, and dragged him into the office to retrieve it. "CIA, don't move!" she warned him, drawing a gun.

"NSA, also don't move!" Casey also arrived on the scene, slamming Big Mike's office door shut behind Sarah and he so no one else could stumble into the standoff, "Drop the gun and let him go!"

"You drop your weapons, or he's a goner!" the Fulcrum agent counter-threatened, pointing the gun to Chuck's head.

"That, that's a really, really good idea, guys!" Chuck begged them, "We can, uh, settle this in a more gentlemanly way, like, uh, playing jacks, I guess!?"

"Jacks!?" Casey stared at him incredulously.

"Give me a break; that's the best I can come up with under the circumstances!" Chuck protested.

"You have till three, or he's a goner!" the Fulcrum agent warned Chuck's handlers, pressing the gun more tightly against his head, "One, two...!"

"OK, we'll put them down," Sarah agreed, laying her firearm down on the floor.

"Walker...!" Casey glared her down.

"Casey, please," Sarah goaded him. The instant the gunman's eyes locked in on Casey's pistol being lowered to the floor, however, she quickly leaped behind Big Mike's desk, grabbed his marlin off the wall, and hurled it right at the Fulcrum agent. Its long snout promptly embedded itself hard in his chest. The agent looked down at the marlin sticking out of him, then looked up and let out a loud scream of anguish before falling flat on his face on the floor, dead. Chuck took deep breaths of relief. "Good thinking," he gratefully commended Sarah.

"Don't mention it," she told him, staring down at the dead agent, "Did he say what he came in here for, Chuck?"

"Blu-Ray box, Number..." Chuck thought hard over what he'd been told, "...Number A64A2."

"You know that ceding a weapons advantage against a foe is suicidal, Walker," Casey scolded her sternly.

"I know, but it was a risk worth taking, especially with a powerful possible weapon readily at hand," Sarah countered, yanking the marlin out of the agent's chest, "Clean this up," she handed it to a visibly unwilling Casey, "We've got to find that box..."

"What the hell's going on in my office!?" came Big Mike's angry voice from the hallway, his footsteps stomping closer. "Emergency maneuvers," Sarah shoved the dead Fulcrum agent against the wall, pushed Chuck against him to block the man from sight, and then kissed Chuck on the lips as the office door swung open. "Bartowski!" Big Mike bellowed from the doorway, seeing them kissing, "This is a professional office, not a damn bordello! And you, Casey, get your hands off my marlin!" he bellowed at Casey, hanging the marlin back on the wall.

"Thought I saw some dirt, and wanted to get it clean for you," Casey told him quickly.

"Much appreciated, Casey. But number one company rule here is, nobody touches that marlin but me!" Big Mike warned him, neither he nor the others noticing Lester carrying a large box past his office door, "So out and back to work! You too, Bartowski," he warned Chuck, "There's plenty of time after hours to get to know your hot girlfriend!"

"Right, got it, Big Mike, won't happen again, promise," Chuck flashed him a big innocent smile. He swept the dead body behind Sarah as they inched sideways out of the office and closed the door behind themselves. "Now what!?" Chuck whispered at her and Casey, "We just can't tote a dead body around here all day!"

"We can probably hide him in the stock room till a retrieval unit can come for him," Sarah noticed a large box not far away and dumped the body into it, then folded the top down, "Help me push him in the back. Then we can find that box and see what he came here for..."

"Here you are, sir, Number A64A2 as you requested," an oblivious Lester handed the box in question to a second man that had arrived at the counter, "That'll be twenty-seven ninety-five."

"Here, keep the change," the man handed him two twenties.

"OK," Lester's eyes lit up at having to keep extra money. "Thank you for shopping at Buy More; come back soon."

"Maybe," the man mumbled. Once he'd exited the store, his face lit up in a grin. He dug out a phone and dialed a number. "It's me," he said to the person on the other end, "You were right to double this mission up; something happened to Ormrod. But I've got it. Tell Roark we're ready to start the final phase, and not a moment too soon. Right. I'll be there in two days, count on it..."