Hi Guys sorry it's been so long since I wrote. I have been starting a flurry of fics, just haven't edited them. COVID time has been stressful as I learn to teach online and completely change my life. This little plot bunny hit me today and I decided even with typos - if it got me publishing again that was worth it. Please review. I hope you like it.

I hope you are healthy and coping

Xox- Bren

Elizabeth- spring 2018.

It's tough to come to terms with the fact that I got boring. I mean I look nice for over 50. I smell OK and Henry says I am charming. The President says I have a higher approval rating than he does.

But I am not having any fun. I am bummed about this and I need to fix it. I used to have friends. I used to get drunk and dance. I was a whiz at Cranium and could spell backwards with two drinks in me. I scuba dive. I play golf, go fly fishing and I love running. I am even halfway decent at tennis.

Or at least I used to be. Now I am that woman that fun forgot. Gross work lunches with Isabelle and Juliet are over. Juliet comitted treason against this country and she's locked up for life. To say she's not my friend anymore is the understatement of the century. I mean she and Andrew tried to get me killed! Isabelle still talks to me but she's never gonna forgive me for thinking she was the mole and the one who betrayed our country. It's awkward with her now too. Nadine and I had to always be professional first, same with Daisy. So we are friends but we can never get together and just be silly.

Dolly Rasmussen and I had fun. We took our kids to the park, planned birthday parties for our kids and we even scrapbooked together. We played poker with them and had dinners and once we decided to tie dye T-shirts for everyone and the blue dye got out of control and we both had blue hands for about three days and Henry called me his smurf bride. But then we got busy in DC and cancelled on them about 8 or 9 times and our kids are all grown up. And our neighbours here? I haven't had time to go door knocking and invite them over for dinner parties. Piper's parents were cool. But the kids broke up and after I had to look that mom in the eye and explain that she and Jason had been in danger in Montreal; and had tried to have sex under my nose- well; yeah. That friendship was over before Regina and I even had a chance to go for coffee.

When I was a younger mom we played outside all the time. We rode horses and made s'mores and I told ghost stories and we drove the kids to Florida and did Disney and I even got a princess makeover with the girls. There's a picture of me dressed up as Cinderella, with Stevie as Belle and Ali as Snow White. I always took them trick or treating and I made some amazing costumes. Jason wanted to be some interesting characters and I always found a way to make it work. One year the kid wanted to be a lobster and I put on my hip waders and a yellow rain coat and went as the fisherman. He gave me like two snickers bars for that. Little monster!

I played basketball with these kids. I was a soccer coach. We had tickle parties. We went to the beach. Heck - I even invented the laffy string fights for our birthdays! I was cool!

But when it was time to take Alison to college she wanted me to stay home because my job was too big and embarrassing for her. I assured her I was going to be a regular embarrassing mom, not an especially over the top annoyance and that went over like a lead balloon. Thank heavens we decided to go tobogganing with those lunch trays. DS was upset with me but my girls were proud of me so I took the lecture from Matt. Turns out Alison was right and while I could have killed Stevie for waking me up at midnight - it was worth the sore ass I had for the next week. No one for us on video and when Alison was telling Henry about Mom flying down the hill and he saw me limping he was impressed. He laughed at me as he rubbed A5-35 on my hip and butt but it was a good laugh. He was proud of me. My staff wanted to know why I smelled like an old lady for a few days. Trust Matt Mahoney and Jay to say something awkward. At home though the Marshmallow cream still made Stevie sick and we all decided that maybe this was our last jar as a family. I am glad I bought a little one. It was 6.79 but it was worth it. And anytime I run mom errands and Ted rolls his eyes I consider that a win. This job has a lot of perks - but I can't drive and I can't just sneak out and be alone in a wal Mart. If I go to Costco two or three guys gotta know what brand of toilet paper I am buying. And if I don't go - it's Blake who brings me the yeast infection cream and I swear to God that young man is going to be able to blackmail me until I die.

Henry says I'm still fun but I really need to never take him for granted. We go for walks. We eat ice cream with forks. We had a hilarious time painting our kitchen. I lost my favourite shirt in that paint fight but it was hot. Also, he gives me foot massages and I steal his food. The kids are away this Friday night. Maybe I should insist that Blake block out the night and I could get some lingerie and a Brazilian and a pedicure. He loves it when I get a pedicure- and he said that the last time I got a Brazilian all he could think about was how I looked and tasted. If I get some whipped cream and cherries... and some flavoured vodka. OK Elizabeth stop thinking about this right now or you're never going to be able to yell at Ming without giggling.

Henry and I used to go for burgers and bowling. We used to hike, go to concerts and lay in the grass and look up at the stars. We used to skinny dip.

And then I took this job and my husband became Jack Ryan and Robert Langdon all rolled into one and fun has become trading red reading glasses when one of us has to go on a life threatening mission. That has got to change. Or we'll be the most boring people at the nursing home. At least we have great pajamas.

Part 1 fin. Part 2 will be about having fun as POTUS and beyond.