(20)

"Hey."

Erin saw the surprise on Jay's face when he opened his door and found her on the other side, holding out a gift bag.

"Hey," she returned back, holding the bag out even further and waving it in front of him as she waited for him to take it. He looked confused, not expecting Erin to be bringing him a gift.

"For me?" he said, the furrowed brows of confusion eased to give way to the crinkled corners of his eyes as a grin appeared on his face. "You brought me a present," he said in that teasing tone of his that Erin missed. The one that made her want to laugh with fondness and punch his pretty face at the same time.

"Not really a present. More like returning what was yours," Erin clarified as Jay finally took the gift bag from her, peeking inside it. He made his way further into his living room and waved for her to come in. Erin stepped inside his condo slowly and glanced around. This was really her first time being in Jay's space. The only other time she had been here was the night they helped Julia and Emma and Erin didn't get a chance to fully study his living space.

Taking the opportunity this time, Erin looked around at the super organized yet pretty sparse living room. Jay had opted for a leather couch— a bigger and more expensive looking version of the one he had back in his yellow-walled disaster of an apartment. A few sports memorabilias that Erin knew Jay loved and had for ages were proudly displayed around the room. She could still remember the arguments that they had over which memorabilias would get the honor of being displayed in their old place and just how many signed baseballs needed to be out for everyone to see. But those arguments were fond memories as they always had a hell of a time making up.

Clearing her throat to stop her stroll down memory lane, she gestured for Jay to get a better look at what was in the bag. Jay gave her a curious look and a raised brow before he dug inside the bag and pulled out the soft material.

"I would've returned your old shirt but it kinda couldn't be salvaged," Erin said, scrunching her nose at the image of Jay's shirt that she wore. One that had too much blood stains on it that Erin didn't see the point in trying to save it.

"So you bought me a new shirt," Jay concluded, holding up the shirt in his hands. "You didn't have to," Jay said, looking up at her from the shirt with a smile.

"I figured I've stolen enough of your shirts to last us both a lifetime," Erin quipped, both of them chuckling at how Erin used to steal Jay's shirts all the time before. But Jay never complained, claiming that Erin looked better than he did in his shirts as he took the sight of her in his clothes with a heated gaze and roaming hands.

"Yeah, I kinda gave up on that fight a long time ago," Jay teased back. "Thanks for this, really. I mean, you didn't have to go and buy me a new shirt."

"I wanted to." Erin shrugged as she dug her hands inside her jeans pockets and crossed one of her ankles over the other, balancing her weight on one foot. "It's the least I could do after you helped me that day. And sorry, I took so long to get this to you but I didn't exactly have time to go shopping until now."

It was over a week ago when Jay proved once again that he was there for her as he helped her through one of the scariest days of her life. He stood by her side with his unwavering support and concern. It was over a week ago when she had to admit to herself— and to Jay— that despite everything, she needed him in her life. That the way that Erin had been living wasn't all that healthy. She had confessed all of this to Jay that night on the balcony and she had opened up and had let Jay in to see what was brewing inside her heart and her mind. It was a raw, painful and difficult conversation to have. To be completely vulnerable in front of Jay, knowing that he was the one person in the world who still had the potential to hurt her the most. But she was left feeling lighter and better that she had let him know what had been running through her head. That even with all that had happened, he was still the first person she wanted to call. And he had promised that she would always have him, in return.

There was an unspoken agreement that night between the two of them— as they both remained on the balcony until the sun came up in comfortable silence— that they wanted to move forward. At the very least, they wanted to become friends. The idea of being just friends with Jay was still a little hard for Erin to wrap her mind around— having spent years being in love with him. But they started out as friends, even if there was always attraction between them; and if Erin was perfectly honest with herself, she was tired of keeping him at arm's length and she had missed him.

"You even got me my favorite color," he said, still holding the soft blue material in his hand. Erin just smiled back, keeping how she had specifically chosen that color because it matched his eyes perfectly to herself. "You're awesome."

"Yeah, well. I do what I can," Erin lifted her shoulders, waving off his compliment. Now that she had done what she came to his place to do, she was starting to feel awkward standing there. She tucked her hair behind her ears and started to leave. "Okay, then I'm gonna go."

Jay's face fell at her announcing that she was leaving. "Oh," he muttered, following her to the door. "You have plans?" There was a strange tone in his question, different from the teasing tone he had earlier.

"No, not really," Erin replied, shaking her head. "But I don't want to bother you so I'll just get out of your hair."

"You're not bothering me!" Jay immediately corrected, stepping closer to her until he realized that he had gotten too close and took a step back. "I mean," he repeated in a softer voice. "You're not bothering me."

"Oh."

"You want to stay and have a beer?" he asked, holding his breath for her answer. Erin released a small exhale, not really sure what answer to give. She did want to spend more time with Jay but she just wasn't sure if they were ready for the stage of just casually hanging out at his place and drinking beer just yet. "Come on. We said that we'd move forward right?" Jay asked, noticing Erin's reluctancy. "And the best way to do it is just...doing it."

Erin pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth. "Okay," she sighed, giving in. "A beer sounds good."

Jay's face lit up and he waited for her to follow him. She sat on a stool that he had around the kitchen counter as he took out two bottles of beer and placed them on the counter. He opened the cap and handed one to her.

"Thanks," Erin said, taking a sip. Her eyes glanced around the room. "I like what you've done with the place. It's very…..you."

He narrowed his eyes at her as he rested his weight on the counter with his hands. "How so?" He sounded unsure if her statement was a compliment.

Erin shrugged. "It's very neat and organized. Not a thing out of place." She looked over at where his signed baseball rested on the mantle, all in a row. "And you still have your baseballs."

He followed her eyesight and laughed, recalling their past quibbles over his beloved baseballs. "Yeah."

"I think I even kinda missed seeing them," Erin confessed.

"Of course you did," Jay shot back, giving her a smirk. "Those balls are priceless."

"Okay, there are so many jokes I could make right now with what you just said but I'm a lady so I'll hold myself back."

Jay glared at her teasingly. "Like I was saying before your mind fell in the gutters, Lindsay. Those baseballs are priceless. If I ever go broke, I can sell them and make a mint." Erin just scoffed and rolled her eyes. "But I guess that's something you don't have to worry about, now that you're making federal agent salary."

"It is nice to get a big fat check every month," Erin retorted. "It even makes having to wear pantsuits every day worth it."

"I bet your boyfriend doesn't have any complaints with wearing a suit," Jay said, diverting his eyes back on the counter. "I can't imagine the guy wearing anything else."

"Boyfriend?" Erin asked, confused at who Jay was talking about. Then she recalled how she didn't exactly refute when Jay had thought that she was dating Harrison. She had wanted him to think that Harrison was her boyfriend because she was just so pissed at him at the time, demanding answers from her and taking snide shots at Harrison. Jay clearly still thought that she was dating Harrison. 'Oh, um…"

"Sorry I brought him up," Jay apologized, noticing her growing uncomfortableness. Only he had mistaken her reaction for something else.

"No, it's not that."

"What is it then?"

"Um," Erin began, pursing her lips as she debated on how to tell Jay the truth. She was being childish and petty when she had let Jay think that she had a boyfriend and maybe she had wanted to hurt him. But that was then and this is now. Even though it had only been months when the argument happened, it felt like a different time. She knew that she and Jay had a long way to go to get back to the true comfortable friendship they once had but she felt like they had already come so far since the night she had given him a ride home. She just hoped that when he found out that she lied, it wouldn't set them back.

"Erin?" he called her name as words got stuck in her throat. "What's going on?" The concern in his eyes was so clear and it tugged at Erin's heart. Because she knew that even after everything, Jay never once wanted to hurt her deliberately. Sure he had hurt her— deeply— but he was never malicious or deliberate with it. But she couldn't say the same for herself. Because she did want to hurt him with Harrison. She knew that Jay didn't like the guy and instead of correcting Jay when he accused her of dating Harrison, she didn't. Instead, she had let him think that it was true. That she had moved on with someone else.

"I'm not dating Harrison," Erin said, deciding to just rip the bandage off and tell him the truth. "I was never dating Harrison. At least not really."

She could see the surprise in Jay's face as he took in her confession. She saw the emotions run through his face— confusion, surprise, and dare she even say, relief? Then the beginning of a smile took over his face.

"You're not dating Harrison?" Jay asked, trying to school his face into a more neutral expression.

"No."

"And you never dated the guy?" Jay asked. "Wait. What do you mean by not really?"

Erin sucked in her breath, trying to think of the best way to classify her relationship with Harrison. Jay was waiting for her answer, anticipation written in his blue eyes.

"I did go out with him on a couple of dates. Just a few. They were all in New York," Erin explained. "And that one time that you saw us in the hall," Erin added, recalling the look on Jay's face when he first caught her and Harrison in the hallway. Jay seemed to remember the incident as well as she did because he just looked down back on the counter, hiding the pain of the encounter in his eyes from her.

She wanted to reach out to him. For some reason, she wanted to apologize. For what, she wasn't sure. All she knew was that she didn't want to be the one that hurt Jay and put that look on his face.

"Jay," she called his name softly, wanting him to look at her. He sighed and finally brought his head back up. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Jay tried to smile. "I mean you don't owe me anything. Not an apology or anything. We weren't together. You were free to move on."

"It was just a couple of dates," Erin said again. "There was nothing serious between us."

"So you guys never…" Jay started to ask but quickly bit his words back. "Sorry."

But the look on Erin's face was clear that she and Harrison had hooked up and she knew that Jay could tell. He understood from the look in her eyes that she and Harrison had crossed that line.

"Like I said, they all happened in New York and with that, it really was all in New York," Erin clarified. "I mean, we never hooked up when I got back to Chicago. It was just a dinner date. I mean, he asked me and I didn't really know how to turn him down gently so I agreed on a dinner. I told him that I just wanted to be friends but he insisted on walking me to my door and that's when you saw us. I know you thought that there was something more going on but there isn't really. I don't even know why I'm telling you all this or rambling right now because it's all in the past and everything. I mean, I'm sure you had other women that you've hooked…." Erin caught her words. "Sorry, it's none of my business what you've done when I was in New York," she grimaced, her fingers coming up to her upper lips like they were covering her mouth.

"I didn't."

"What?" Her head shot up from looking at the counter to Jay.

"I didn't," Jay repeated. "I didn't have other women. I mean aside from Camilla but you know about that. But there's no one else before and there was no one else after."

Erin was definitely surprised by what Jay said. She knew that Kim had mentioned that she never saw Jay with another woman but Erin had chalked that up to Jay and Kim being not that close. At least not close enough to discuss random hookups. But here was Jay, telling her to her face, that there was no one else. Well, except for Camilla but Erin had known about her already. She knew about the deep dark hole that Jay went down with all that.

"Why?" she asked, wondering why there was no other woman. Jay was a great catch— he was handsome, strong, funny and he had a good heart. She would've thought women would be lined up for him.

"No one caught my eyes," Jay said, shrugging. He was regarding Erin with a look that said there was more to the reason than just his simple explanation. That she was the reason why he never moved on.

She felt her mouth dry at the unspoken confession from Jay— one that she could see so vividly yet didn't have the courage to give credence to it just yet. So she changed the topic.

"Jay, I'm sorry that I didn't pick up your calls when you needed me," Erin said, referring to the many messages that Jay had left her. He had needed her but she ignored him, despite knowing that he was having a hard time.

"It's in the past, "Jay said, finishing off his beer. "It's okay."

"Can I be completely honest with you?" Erin asked.

He leaned his head to one side and his eyes narrowed as they settled on her. "You know you can."

"I meant when I said that I'm sorry for ignoring your messages. It wasn't easy and I know it was probably a thousand times harder for you to be on the other side."

"But…" he hedged, knowing that she had more to say.

"But I'm glad that I didn't come home." She saw a serious look overtook his face and he licked his lips, trying to decipher her words. "I know you said that you'd hoped that I'd come and save you when you were drowning but I'm glad that I didn't. Because you needed to save yourself. Just like I needed to save myself."

Jay nodded almost absentmindedly as he let her words run through his head. She saw his jaw worked, his face completely unreadable to how he was feeling.

Erin sighed before she reached over and touched his arm to get his attention back.

"Jay, you spent so much of our relationship trying to save me, putting me first. I know that it's in your nature to be this protector. I get that but all that led to is us completely falling apart because all of your focus was on me and you didn't leave anything for yourself," she said, using the advice he had given her before about Erin having too much empathy for others. It turned out that even in their flaws, they were one and the same. Always putting other people ahead of themselves. In Erin's case, it was her mother and the cases that she worked. For Jay, he prioritized her so much that he had neglected himself.

"Erin, you were everything to me. My partner, my best friend, the love of my life," Jay declared. "You came first for me."

"I know but that wasn't healthy for either of us," Erin countered. She pursed her lips and set her eyes to the ceiling, trying to find the words to get her point across. "Jay," she said, looking back at him. "We were both drowning and we needed to save ourselves. You needed to focus on yourself and your demons and get yourself out of the hole. You needed to be alone to do that. You needed to take the time to focus on yourself and only yourself. Without having to worry about me and my problems. I'm so glad that you did, really. Pull yourself out of that hole. I'm glad that you seem much more settled now."

"And you?"

"Leaving for New York gave me the chance to focus on myself too," Erin explained. "It gave me a chance for a fresh start, made me learn how to be independent. Truly independent," she added, knowing that Jay was about to say that she had always been independent. "I always had Voigt to save me then when we got together, you became that person. One that was always looking out for me, even if I didn't want you to," she said with a roll of her eyes, thinking back to Jay and the drama that happened with Jimmy.

"I was always only looking out for you, Erin."

"I know," she assured him, knowing that he always had the best intentions when it came to her. "Like I said, being on my own in New York made me learn to stand on my own two feet. But maybe I took it too far. I put so much effort and focus into not needing anyone that I didn't realize that my life had become empty because aside from those couple of dates with Harrison, I went home alone every night to an empty apartment. I tried to convince myself that I was fine with it, that I was better off that way."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I was the same way," Jay admitted. "Will tried to get me to move on, date again. But I always brushed him off. Told him and myself that I wasn't ready. But to be perfectly honest, I just didn't want to because I was scared and wanted to protect myself."

"But I think it's time we both stop doing that, don't you?"

Jay nodded, agreeing with her. "Yeah, I think so."

The truth was Erin was scared too. Scared of losing that independence she found in New York but she knew that letting that fear win by not letting herself feel anything wasn't in her best interests. She spent the past three years trying to not feel anything too strong for anyone, not wanting to risk getting hurt again and she had managed to push everyone away and didn't allow for anyone to get too close to her.

Now that she was back in Chicago and she had admitted to herself that Jay was someone she needed and wanted in her life, she knew she had to open herself up to him again and slowly let him in.

"So how do we do it?" she asked after she spilled her thoughts to Jay. How would they open their hearts up again and trust the other not to break it this time? How would they find that delicate balance of depending on the other yet trusting that if they crumble and fall, they could land on their own two feet without slipping back into the dark hole again?

(21)

Jay lugged the heavy paper bag in his arms, looped his reusable bag through his forearm and balanced his weight on one foot while the other kicked his car door close. He somehow managed to press the lock button on his key and resettled the bag of groceries in his arms again before heading up to his condo. Jay deemed himself a strong guy but after he had pushed off getting groceries for two weeks and finally running out of everything edible in his place, he knew he couldn't push it off any longer. And now he was paying the price for his procrastination because he had to lug up two huge bags of groceries instead of his usual one.

The baguette that was sticking out of the paperbag obstructed his view of where he was walking and he was distracted with deciding if he wanted to save the baguette for tomorrow's night dinner or not. He had planned on making some quick garlic bread and simple spaghetti for dinner but he suddenly got a hankering for a nice veggie stir fry. He ran the items he bought through his head, trying to see if he had the ingredients for an impromptu stir fry. He was just trying to remember if he had any soy sauce left in his place when he miscalculated his steps and tripped over the curb that separated the underground parking garage to the elevators.

"Fuck!" he cursed as the paper bag he was holding in his arms spilled onto the curb, a few cans rolling away from him. He quickly tried to gather the items back up, thinking that at least the fresh veggies that he had bought were safely ensconced in his reusable bag on his arm. The items that did meet the ground could be washed at least. He counted the items and noticed that he was missing one can of tomato sauce he bought to make his pasta sauce. He was on his knees and looked around for the missing item.

"Looking for this?"

Jay turned to where the voice was coming from and grinned when he saw Erin holding his can of tomato sauce in her hand. She looked like she was just coming home from work, still in her usual pantsuit and a briefcase in her hand.

"Yeah," he said, standing up and taking the can back from her. "Thanks. I kinda had an incident," he admitted sheepishly.

"Well, I hate for the guy to miss out on the party," Erin teased, referring to the tomato sauce can. "Shopping day?"

"Yeah," he replied as the two resumed their walk to the elevator to get up to their floor. "I kinda been procrastinating. But I only have like half an apple left in my fridge so I needed to fuel up again."

"Hey, I'm not judging. That's more than what I have in my fridge right now," Erin remarked.

Jay looked at Erin from the side of his eyes. "So what? You're just not going to eat anything?"

Erin shrugged. Jay frowned at her answer, not liking the idea of Erin starving herself. He knew that she had the tendency to skip meals whenever she got too busy and while Erin was a huge fan of food usually, her appetite was the first to fall by the wayside whenever she got distracted or was stressed out. Since it was already nine at night and she was just coming home from work, he could only assume that she had been running ragged at work all day.

"I'm making stir fry tonight," Jay started. "You remember how much you love my stir fry right?"

Erin closed her eyes, thinking of how much she did love it. She always did love his cooking.

"Why don't you come over to my place for dinner tonight?" Jay asked, sounding nervous at making the offer. Erin paused in her step and turned her body to look at him. He tried to hide the nervous look and asked her again. "Yeah?"

Erin ran her tongue over her teeth as she thought about her answer. "You don't mind? I don't want to bother you."

"No!" Jay replied right away. "I have a lot of ingredients and I can't finish it all myself. It's no trouble at all. I'm making it for myself anyway. I can share."

Erin nodded and resumed walking. "Okay, that sounds good."

Half an hour later, Jay was letting Erin into his place. She was freshly showered and had changed from her suit into a more comfortable shirt and leggings.

"It smells good," Erin said as she took in a deep breath. The smell of the food that was wafting in the air took her back, memories of Jay cooking for her when they were together flooding her senses.

"It's almost ready," Jay said as he stirred the pan, adding a dash of salt to the vegetables and stirring that in to mix properly.

"Can I help with something?" Erin asked, not wanting to feel useless as Jay busied himself making dinner for both of them.

"Sure, can you grab some plates from the cabinet right there?" Jay asked, pointing to the cabinet right by Erin. "We can eat as soon as it's done."

Erin nodded, opening the cabinet to grab two plates. She walked over to Jay and he pointed her to the pot of steam brown rice. Erin scooped out a portion on one plate and handed it over to Jay who then filled it with the chicken and the vegetables. Erin handed him the second one and Jay repeated the action. It felt like they were back in their old place, preparing dinner like they used to. When Jay would get sick of take-outs and wanted home cooked meals. Of course, since Erin was pretty much hopeless in the kitchen, Jay had taken the responsibility of cooking among the two of them. He had even done the dishes afterwards. He had always been a good house husband, Erin thought to herself, holding in her amusement at seeing Jay in an apron again.

They settled on the couch for dinner, balancing their plates of food on their laps and opened bottles of beer on the coffee table. Jay had turned on a baseball game but neither of them really paid attention to it.

"Mmmm," Erin groaned out as she took a bite. "This is as good as I remember."

Jay smiled, pleased with her reaction. His chicken stir fry had always been a favorite of hers and he was happy to see that it still hadn't changed. He took a bite of his own dinner but his eyes remained on her, watching her eat.

"What?" she asked, noticing him looking at her. "Do I have something on my face?" Erin asked, trying to wipe away the nonexistent sauce on her face.

"No," Jay replied, shaking his head. "There's nothing on your face. It's perfect."

Erin dropped her hand from her face as she felt warmth rising on her neck and face. She didn't know how to respond back or how to act normal when the heat of his gaze was too strong for her not to feel anything. Erin cleared her throat, trying to get herself under control.

"You noticed how we always seemed to end up on the couch? Erin asked. "I mean you have a perfectly good dining table right there yet we're here, eating on your couch." she said, chuckling.

"I guess couches have always been our thing," Jay whispered, dropping his voice low enough that had Erin flashing back to their reunion on her couch. She felt her mouth dry and her ear burned at Jay alluding to their fondness for the living room furniture. She shoved another bite of food into her mouth, trying to give herself time from having to respond to Jay. She had forgotten how alluring Jay could be when he wanted to flirt and she had forgotten just how much she had trouble resisting him and his smiling eyes.

With one last smirk— one that said he knew entirely too much of the effect he had on her— Jay turned back to the television, focusing on the baseball game. Erin was grateful for the action, for the time to get her racing heart back under control. Because as much she wanted to, she knew that another reunion on his couch— like their previous one— wasn't a smart idea. They weren't ready for that yet.

After finishing off their plates, they settled back on the couch and finished watching the Cubs defeat the Braves. Though if they were completely honest, neither of them had been paying attention to the game, too distracted by the other's presence in the close space. When the game was over, Jay reached over for the remote and turned the television off.

Erin groaned as she stretched her body, Jay's eyes lingering on the sliver of skin that made its appearance when Erin raised her arms up. She was doing it on purpose, he was sure. Payback for his comment about the couch earlier.

"I should go," Erin said, standing up. "It's getting late and I have to go into work early tomorrow."

Jay nodded, wanting her to stay but knew she needed to get some sleep. She started walking to the door and lingered by it, not leaving just yet. She turned, knowing that he was following her, and she rested her back on the closed door.

"Thanks for dinner," Erin said, giving him a small smile. "It was delicious."

"Someone needs to keep you fed," Jay retorted with a smile of his own, the smile reaching his eyes.

Erin bit her lip and glanced down, chuckling softly at his joke.

"Yeah, you've always been good at that," Erin said as she met his eyes. "Always looking out for me."

The smile on Jay's face sobered as he regarded her with an intense look, the atmosphere between them heating up. He stepped closer to her until the tips of their toes touched. Erin was looking at him with wide eyes, question and anticipation swirling in her hazel eyes at the change in mood.

"What you asked me the other day," Jay began, his voice barely a whisper. "About finding that balance?" Erin nodded, indicating that she remembered their conversation and the unanswered question that was left between them. Of how they could open their heart up to each other again without completely losing themselves.

"Yeah?" Erin rasped.

"I don't have all the answers in the world, Erin. I don't know what the future holds for us. I know that you don't know either. But there is one thing that I want you to know without a doubt." He held up his hand, palm facing her. Erin looked at him, perplexed. "I want you to take my hand whenever you need me. Day or night. Even when you hate me or we're in the worst fight of our lives. I want you to know that you'll always have me, that my hand is always here for you to take and hold onto." He leaned closer until they could see each flecks of gold and blue in each other's eyes. "No matter what."

Erin felt her eyes glisten as she watched the outheld hand of Jay's, his promise to her. Slowly she brought her hand up and placed her hand in his bigger one, Jay beaming as he laced their fingers together, the two of them holding onto each other tight.

"Just take my hand, Erin," Jay repeated. "Whenever, wherever. I'll always be here."

She couldn't find the perfect words to say but she knew Jay didn't need words from her. He needed her to just take his hand, to hold onto it tight enough to show that she knew that he would be there, always. So she did.

(22)

If cooking her dinner was a neighborly thing to do then it was Erin's turn to be neighborly a few nights later. She was just about to head to bed, perfectly comfy in her pajamas, when she heard her door knock. She frowned, knowing that she wasn't expecting any visitors at this time of the night, and she walked over to her door and saw Jay on the other side through her peephole.

"Hey," she greeted him as she opened the door, her eyes landing on the items he was holding in his hand as well as the towel that was hanging over his shoulder. "What's going on?"

"Um, my shower is broken and they can't fix it until tomorrow. Do you mind if I use your shower?" Jay asked, rubbing the back of his neck as he asked her the question.

"Um...yeah, sure." Erin opened the door wider to let him in, bewildered by his sudden presence and his request. "Your shower is not working?"

"No, I came home and was about to step inside the shower but the water wouldn't come out. So I called the Super and he said it might be the pipes or something but it's too late for him to check it out tonight," he explained as they stood awkwardly in her living room, Jay holding onto his shower gel and shampoo in his hands and his towel on his shoulder. "I'm sorry to put you out but I just had a long day at work and I just want to wash all the grime and sweat off."

"It's fine," Erin objected, waving his apology off. "It's no problem. What are neighbors for right?" she said, trying to ease the mood. "Yeah so the shower's in there," she said, pointing to her bathroom. "Just help yourself."

"Thanks," Jay said again as he headed inside the bathroom and closed the door. Erin plopped herself down on the couch as she watched the closed door, releasing an exhale at the thought of Jay being on the other side taking a shower. Jay was naked, taking a shower in her bathroom. That was a sentence she'd never thought she'd say again.

Trying to distract herself, she turned on her T.V and tried to drown out the noise of the running shower of her guest bathroom. She was just glad that she had cleaned up her whole place just a couple of days ago and no one used the guest bathroom so it was clean. She tried to focus on the movie she put on when she heard a loud thud and a string of curse words coming from the bathroom.

She stood up and ran over to the door, thinking that Jay had fallen or something. But just when she reached the bathroom, the door opened and Jay stepped out in just his towel wrapped around his waist. Erin had almost collided into him and held out her hands to his hard chest to stop herself from knocking him over.

"Whoa!"
"Oof!"

They both shouted simultaneously as Jay held onto her arms to keep her from falling and Erin's chin hitting Jay's chest as her hands slipped on his wet skin.

"I'm sorry!" They both stammered at the same time as Erin tried to pry herself off of Jay's wet body and Jay trying to get her onto stable ground.

"You okay?" Jay asked, feeling just how hard Erin's chin collided into his chest.

"Yeah," Erin stammered, feeling her whole face burn with embarrassment over what happened. She couldn't even look him in the eye. And she definitely couldn't look at Jay standing there half naked, dripping wet, with only a towel to cover him so her eyes darted around, trying to look anywhere but at him. "I'm sorry," she repeated, shaking her head in mortification. "I didn't know that you were gonna be in your towel only."

"It's okay," Jay said, letting his hold on her go. "I dropped my body wash in the tub when I was done and when I went to pick it up, I accidentally dropped my clothes in it too. They're all soaked."

Erin just nodded, still unable to meet his eyes fully.

"Sorry for scaring you," Jay said, feeling underdressed, standing in only a towel in his ex-girlfriend's living room.

"It's fine," Erin reassured him. "I just thought you fell or something so I was just coming to make sure you were okay. That's when I….ran into you," she said, feeling herself blush all over again. God, she had no idea why she was reacting this way. She had seen Jay naked plenty of times but here she was, getting all flustered at the sight of him in a towel. She had forgotten just how beautiful he was and she was being reminded of it right now. Actually, she was getting slapped over the head with just how hot Jay was right now.

"Thanks for letting me shower," Jay said, noticing the sudden rise in temperature of the room. Plus there was the fact that Erin wouldn't look him in the eyes. He tried to hold in his smile, knowing just what kind of effect he was having on Erin right now. He had been feeling like a hormonal teenager, knowing that Erin was just right next door and remembering her in her skin tight running outfit. So it was kinda nice to know that she was also being affected by him too.

"Yeah, anytime. I mean….happy to help," Erin said with a tight smile on her face. Jay wanted to laugh, thinking she was being adorable right now. She was too cute when she was flustered.

"Good night Erin," he drawled, making sure to lean in close as he bid his goodbye.

"Night, Jay," Erin managed to get out as she watched his towel clad backside leave, Jay giving her a look— one that could only be described as seductive— over his shoulder before he closed the door.

Erin fanned herself, feeling entirely too hot. She groaned as she tossed herself onto her couch and buried her face in a throw pillow. She didn't know if Jay was being seductive on purpose or if he was just naturally tantalizing, showing off just how he had maintained his tight body over the years.

One thing was for sure though. She still wanted Jay Halstead.

(23)

Jay heard the knock on his door and he instantly smiled because he knew there could be only one person on the other side. No one at work had been looped in on his new place— Jay changing the topic whenever they would start to mention how it had been months since Jay moved yet they still hadn't been to his new place or how he should throw a housewarming party. Only Will knew of his new address and even he had been left in the dark of Jay's neighbor. He and Erin living next door to each other had been his own secret— Jay selfishly wanting to stay in their own bubbl for as long as they could. He was surprised that Voight never visited Erin either but from a few bits and pieces that Erin had let out and Jay had pieced together, it seemed as though Erin and Voight weren't as close as before.

"Hi," Jay grinned happily when he saw Erin on the other side, her own matching smile on her face.

"Hey," she returned.

"Want to come in? Jay asked, opening his door wider.

"No," Erin said, shaking her head. Jay's smile faltered slightly at her refusal. "I'll be quick."

"What's going on?" he asked, wondering why Erin was standing at his door.

He could tell that she was nervous about something, Erin tucking her hair behind her ear a dead giveaway of her nervous habit. And the way she pulled her lip in between her teeth also another sign.

"Are you okay?" Jay asked, his earlier happiness at seeing her slowly morphing into concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm great." Erin reassured him. "I just...I wanted to tell you that I'm going away for a case for three weeks."

Jay took in her words, his heart soaring at the fact that Erin was telling him that she would be away for three weeks. Erin Lindsay, the woman that ran off to New York without saying goodbye and the woman that went off on a mission for a month without a mention, was at his door on a Sunday morning, telling him that she would be going away on a case. He wet his lips, trying to contain his smile.

Erin noticed his reaction and she was smiling along with him, knowing just how far they had come.

"I just wanted to tell you so you don't go around missing or something," Erin added, teasing. "I didn't say goodbye last couple of times and I'm not saying goodbye this time either." Jay's mouth parted in confusion. "Because this isn't a goodbye. It's more like a see you later."

A genuine smile returned to Jay's face and he nodded.

"See you later, Erin," he whispered, leaning in closer to her. "Take care of yourself."

Erin exhaled, Jay feeling her warm breath ghost across his skin. She gave him a stunning smile and nodded before she turned to leave. She didn't get too far before Jay reached for her hand, grabbing it and pulling her to him. She was taken aback by his sudden action, the question of why he was holding her hand on her lips.

Jay smiled, the corner of his eyes crinkling at the action as his other hand came up to her face and slowly stroked the smooth skin of her jaw.

"When you come home, would you go out on a date with me?" Jay asked. Erin looked surprised at first at his question but her face softened. There was no fear, doubt, hesitation or uncertainty in her eyes as she gazed at him. Instead, the dimples that he loved so much slowly appeared on her face as her hand came up to meet his that was holding her face. And for the first time, there was no awkwardness or question when it came to them taking the next step. They were ready for it. For more.

"A girl gotta eat right?" Erin replied, the familiar words got Jay's heart fluttering and his stomach doing somersault with happiness. "I'm thinking truffles."

Jay laughed, a genuine laugh that almost felt foreign to him after not having much to laugh about for the past three years. But he had a feeling that that was about to change very soon. Because as Erin agreed to go out on a date with him, he was filled with hope and anticipation for their future.

And he knew that they would be more than alright. They would be amazing.

AN: The end.

So I initially planned for the ending to be like this (I guess almost open ended ending?) but I feel like there are so much more to explore as they take their next step and my Linstead heart can't help but come up with many more encounters between them. They've sort of been in their own little bubble.

So will you guys be interested if I continue this series? Let me know your thoughts.

As always, I want to thank each and everyone of you that reviewed/favorite/follow this fic. Seriously all of your comments are so sweet and I'm really happy that you guys like reading me being entirely too obsessed with Erin and Jay and their love story. You guys are awesome! Really.