The following Tale is nothing more then a Parody, and is NOT to be taken seriously. It is also NON-CANON! Please keep reading for an important update at the end of this Chapter.
Gordon Goes Four-In
Written by GWR Oliver & Broa Island
Proofread and Corrected by BNSF1995
Isle of Sodor: Beautiful Summer's Day #808290
There are some very special engines that stop by on the Island of Sodor during long trips (they're not much different from the other engines, but we consider them special anyway).
One morning, Gordon talking to one of the aforementioned engines. This engine was from the Big City, and my word, he was very toyetic indeed!
(toy-e-tic (adj.) is a word created by marketing people. It means an object or device, featured in a cartoon, that can easily become a mass-produced toy)
"So? How've you been?" asked Gordon.
"Very good actually," smiled the Big City Engine, "thank you for asking."
There was a long silence. It was then that the writer realized he had to get the story going, so he made Gordon blurt out, "London station's called King's Cross."
"WHATDIDYOUJUSTSAY?! IT'S EUSTON!"
"Rubbish!" said Duck who'd just spontaneous appeared, "London's Paddington. Everyone knows that!"
The three engines argued all through the night and all through the next day. Then the next night. And the day after that. And the day after that. And the day after that. There were probably more days, but I lost count at Day 679. They were still arguing after the Big City Engine scrammed when the Fat Controller threated him with a 'Thomas & Friends Seasons 13 – 16' marathon if he didn't get off the island immediately!
"Stupid thing," said Gordon crossly.
"Stupid yourself!" said Duck as Gordon gasped dramatically at such an insult. "London's Paddington!"
"IT'S KING'S CROSS!"
"PADDINGTON!"
"KING'S CROSS!"
"PADDINGTON!"
"KING'S CROSS!"
"PADDINGTON!"
"KNAPFORD!"
"What?" asked Duck perplexed.
"I had to intervein somehow," James said. "Why don't you two just shut up?! You're making Henry very upset."
"How exactly did we upset him?" Gordon asked unamused.
"He really likes Duck," explained James, "and can't stand to see you yelling at him like that. He's… just another fan-boy."
"It was Gordon who started it!" Duck protested.
"IF I WASN'T AN ANTHROPOMORPHIC STEAM TRAIN I'D SLAP YOU ACROSS THE FACE RIGHT NOW!"
"JUST STOP YOU TWO!" cried James. "Besides, there's one thing that the both of you can agree on."
"Game of Thrones Season 8 was a good piece of television?" asked Gordon.
"Absolutely not," replied James bluntly.
"Thomas and the Magic Railroad was doomed from the start?" suggested Duck.
"Ture," James admitted, "but no. The one thing you two can agree on is that Ruby is steeling your express train right now."
Gordon was confused. "What? No she isn't- OH GOD!"
Ruby laughed wickedly as she pulled out of the station, express coaches in tow! "TAKE THAT, GORDON!" she called!
Gordon, outraged, raced out of the sheds in hot pursuit! "WHY, I OUGHTA FORCE YOU TO WATCH THE SUPER MARIO MOVIE AND ENJOY IT FOR THAT! GET BACK HERE!"
Once Gordon had removed the battery from Ruby's TrackMaster model,
"HELP! I CAN'T MOVE!" shouted Ruby.
he'd thought of an awful plan.
If no one believes the station is called King's Cross, then I'll just go and prove it! I've always had to stop at this station before the mainland, but what if I didn't stop? Then I could make it to London! Gordon thought.
"You didn't think that," said the Fat Controller, "you just said it out loud!"
"Crap."
After three months of being locked in the shed, Gordon finally returned to the station.
"Alright," he said confidently, "now my plan can take action!" It was only then that Gordon noticed the Fat Controller standing right next to him. "OH, COME ON!"
After a year in solitary confinement, Gordon returned to the station… again.
Psst, Gordon.
"Hmm?"
Don't say anything this time!
"Right, got it."
One day, Gordon tried to run right through the station! But the Fat Controller had put a barrier on the track in front of him, causing him to derail.
"GOTCHA!" cried the Fat Controller.
Another day, he tried to leave the station before he could be uncoupled from his coaches. But the Fat Controller had converted the mainline into a siding causing Gordon to crash into a set of buffers.
"GOTCHA!" cried the Fat Controller.
He tried all sort of ridiculous and toyetic tricks, only to be stopped by Fatty each and every time!
"WHY YOU FAT BAST-
[Data lost. Some wanker split coffee on the fax machine]
"Oh dear," thought Gordon sadly, "I'll never get to London. What a shame."
Gordon rolled slowly and sadly into a siding so that one of the special engines could take the train on to London. The coaches waited and waited, but the engine never came.
A random guy came up to Gordon's cab. "Bad news. The engine meant to pull this train turned over and exploded when it hit a penny placed on the rails!"
Just then, Harvey the Crane Engine whooshed past with a badly damaged Penny on a flatbed. "Don't worry friends! I'm okay!" sang Penny reassuringly.
"Gordon!" cried Gordon's driver excitedly, "do you know what this means?!"
"Yes. We've lost a very good friend today."
"Yes, but more importantly, LONDON!"
"LONDON?!" exclaimed Gordon, "HURRAH!" Gordon backed up quickly and was coupled to the train.
"Shouldn't we check with the Fat Controller first?" quizzed his fireman.
"Let's not," said Gordon hastily. And with that, Gordon steamed quickly away. He didn't notice a very furious Fat Controller watching from afar.
"Gordon…" growled the Fat Controller.
On his way to London, Gordon saw the engine that had run over the penny.
"Wait… Henry?!" exclaimed Gordon when the engine's figure became more recognizable.
"NO!" cried Henry- I MEAN the foreign engine, "I'M NOT HENRY! I'm a totally different engine!"
"Then why do you look exactly like Henry?"
"Budget cuts."
"Fair enough. Off we go then!" And with that, Gordon continued on his way. He soon found that London was a lot further away than he first thought.
"GOSH FRIGGIN' DARN IT!" the FCC made Gordon say, "I don't want to go to London now! It's too far away!"
"Shut up, Gordon!" scolded his driver. "We're going to London and that's final!"
"It better be worth it!" Gordon muttered to himself.
The Fat Controller soon read a newspaper article about Gordon's travels.
"So, Gordon's in London getting all the ladies, huh? I'll get him for this! But how?"
It was then that the Fat Controller noticed a penny someone had dropped on the station platform.
Soon, the Fat Controller found a good section of track to spring his trap. He carefully placed the penny on one of the rails.
"There we go," he said to himself. It was then that he heard Gordon's whistle in the distance. "And here he comes now!"
Gordon sped down the line, grumbling to himself. "I can't believe the station wasn't King's Cross- HOLY CRAP!" Gordon saw the penny on the track and braked as hard as he could!
There was a deafening CRASH!
"GOTCHA!" cried the Fat Controller.
"So? Gordon? How was your trip to London?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
This will be the final chapter for a while. A LONG while even. From this point onwards, BNSF1995 and I shall be focusing our energy on the YouTube adaptation of this Fanfic. While this Fanfic isn't well-and-truly dead as of yet, it will be a long time before you see another update.
If everything goes to plan, you'll be able to view the YouTube series on the YouTube Channel "Broa Island". I also recommend subscribing to "BNSF1995"'s YouTube Channel too. Thank you for your understanding.