A/N: Hope you'll enjoy this small shot, xxxx. Set after 3x13 Knockdown, the night after the kiss, prompt at the end to not spoil too much. (Prompt by /buffymoonxo on twitter)

She can't sleep. She keeps replaying the scene in her head over and over and over and over and it's the reason she and Josh had yet another fight. She didn't tell him about the kiss, if she did they probably would've had a much louder argument than they did. It would most likely end the same way, but at least she didn't give him the satisfaction of being right.

"If you're not sleeping with him then why is he constantly on your mind?"

"He's my partner! Of course I'm going to call him and go with him to crime scenes," she's so tired of this discussion. "You're not my partner, Josh."

"No, I'm not. I'm done with this. It's him you want, not me. It's as clear as day."

Kate rolls over to her other side, putting her hands under her cheek and pillow, trying her best to relax. But every time she closes her eyes she see his eyes the way they turned all serious with determination the second before he crashed his lips on hers. She's brushed her teeth before going to bed, washed her hair before too, but she can still taste him on her tongue, can still smell a faint scent of him in her hair. She knows she's screwed, now she knows. She won't be able to forget what he tastes like, his scent, and it kills her. She's never felt that rush with anyone else, not even with Josh.

Letting go of a sigh she lies onto her back instead, looking straight up at the ceiling. She wonders what he's doing, if he's as rattled about this as she is. She can't stop replaying the kiss in her head again, and again. When she'd pulled away her first thought had been to call him out on it, say this wasn't what they did, but then she'd remembered the guard… and she'd kissed him again. And it felt real. Maybe it was real. She knows he follows her for a reason, knows he had a crush on her last year, she had a crush on him too! Maybe she still does.

"Urgh!" she groans tossing her cover off of her body in order to get up.

She walks into her kitchen and takes out a bottle of water, screwing off the cap in order to drink. As she drinks her eyes keep falling towards his books in her bookshelf and she wants to punch herself for not being able to control herself. Once she's drunk about half the bottle she puts it back in her fridge and goes back to bed. She crashes down and pulls the cover over her, lying on her side the way she always does when she sleeps and closes her eyes. Damn, she's tired. Yet, once again his eyes, his lips, his taste, are the only things her mind gives her. This time she just gives in, can't stand try to push away the memory anymore. Nor the vivid dream taking over.

Waking up the next morning she's even more confused than she was when she fell asleep. She's… sad that the dreams weren't… more than dreams. She wipes her hands over her face, tries to control her thoughts. Or at least make sense of them. She plays with the thought of her simply being too exhausted to really think rationally yesterday. But the more she tries to convince herself of that, and that she should try get Josh back, she knows it's just her denying what she's felt ever since Castle started shadowing her.

"Shit."

Kate gets out of bed and dresses into jeans and a blouse. On her way out she picks up an apple and her leather jacket. She locks the door behind her and starts rushing towards the stairs, not caring to take the elevator. She doesn't need to wait any longer. Which is also why she quickly decides to take her own car instead of taking a cab which she would've chosen under normal circumstances. The drive over to his place felt longer than it probably was and now, standing outside his door, she's hesitating because she's suddenly not sure what she is supposed to say about all this. She can't exactly tell him about her dreams. He would just gloat too much and that's not what she needs. She needs him to be serious. She needs to know where they stand and how the hell she's supposed to move on with life now that she knows what his kisses taste like. Taking a deep breath she raises her fist and knocks on the door. She's both surprised and feels a blush entering her cheeks when his mother is the one answering the door.

"Oh, hello Katherine, come on in," the redhead opens the door wider to let her inside and she hesitates for a nano-second before she steps inside with a greeting of her own. "Richard is not up yet but I'm sure he won't mind me waking him up knowing you're here."

"I can come back later," Kate starts backing up but the older woman shakes her head and puts her arm around her back to push her further into the living area.

"Nonsense, make yourself a cup of coffee and I'll go get him."

Before Kate can say anything else Martha is out of sight and she's left alone in the living area. Not really knowing what to do she takes up the older woman's offer and goes to the coffee machine to make herself a cup, and decides to make one for him too.

"He's just getting dressed. Now, I'm going to my room. Alexis is at a friend's house so you don't have to worry about neither of us."

Kate's cheeks blossom up again and she wonders what the hell her partner is telling his mother for her to make comments like that one. Either way the woman is already out of view before she can say anything. Once the coffee is done she finds two cups and start pouring the black beverage into them, too focused on her own thoughts to hear his footsteps approaching.

"You made coffee?" he sounds surprised and she bites her inner cheek as she finishes up before turning around to him.

"Your mom said I could," she explains as she hands him one of the cups.

When he's got it she takes a sip on her own coffee, burning her tongue at the warmth and drags in air to make it less painful.

"Do we have a case? Usually you just call…"

"No, I-ah… I think we should talk," she says and wants to punch herself again. That's the things you say when there's a relationship, this isn't a relationship. Yet. "Could we go somewhere private?"

He immediately looks up towards the second floor and she sees the realization hit him that his mother is still home. "Of course," he says and nods his head towards his office before he leads the way.

Once they're in there she feels her nerves start to act up. What is she even doing? If this goes wrong she'll ruin their friendship, their partnership. She quickly pulls herself together, puts on her cop senses to push down the… fear.

"Why'd you kiss me?"

Castle almost chokes on the sip he somehow managed to take right when she asked, which makes it harder for her to keep distance. Yes, she's afraid.

"I-ah," he clears his throat. "It was… to distract… the guard?" he says but to her it sounds more like a question and halfway excuse rather than the actual reason.

Kate swallows as she looks down before she's setting her eyes on him again. "And kissing me was the only thing you could think of?"

He scratches his hair. "Yeah, we were trying to sell being a drunk couple." He sounds more confident this time, as if this is what he's been telling himself since last night, pretty similar to the reasons she'd thought of during the ride home.

She still feels herself get frustrated, this wasn't at all what she had in mind. Not at all what she wants. "Castle," she says with an exhausted tone. "What are we doing? Why are you still following me? Why do you keep coming back, Rick?" The usage of his first name has him look up at him with slightly widened eyes, his mouth opening and closing.

The silence coming over between them isn't something she enjoys, never really enjoy when he's so quiet. She's gotten so used to him constantly making sure they have something to talk about that it feels weird when he doesn't. But she decides to wait him out, because at the same time as she can barely take the silence she wants him to answer her questions. And hopes he's telling the truth. His eyes are searching hers and instead of hiding, like she definitely wants to, she's looking right back at him. Trying her best to let him in, see that she's not after some designed non-true answer but actually wants his answer, the truth. After about five minutes of complete silence he breaks their eye contact and looks down, taking a deep breath and so she feels herself hold hers.

"I-ah… it's not about the books anymore."

That's all he has to say, because suddenly she's putting down her cup, carefully grabs his in order to let it join hers, before she's simply grabbing his neck the way he grabbed hers yesterday and pushes her lips onto his. Just like she did he's immediately kissing her back only to suddenly pull away with his hands holding her hips in a firm grip. His eyes are closed and there's wrinkles in his forehead. She's letting her hand travel down from his neck, gently landing on top of his chest, right above his heart. The feeling of his heartbeat against her fingertips makes her skin tingle, just like her lips after the few seconds they were attached to his. Before she's even aware of it she sees her thumb caress his chest.

"Kate," he gasps and she feels his grip tighten a bit. "Stop."

Confused she wrinkles her own forehead. "Why?" Then there's one word she didn't think would come out of his mouth, especially not when she was practically throwing herself at him.

"Josh."

She bites her lip, can't help the pure pride inside her. "We broke up." That has his eyes opening with surprise.

"You... did?"

She nods, her eyes leaving his in order to watch her fingers above his heart, her thumb still moving slightly. "Rick, I… do you remember last summer, when you left for the Hamptons?" She doesn't wait for him to answer, just watches as his eyes shows the recognition. "I was going to accept your invitation before… well, before your ex-wife showed up," His grip lessens a bit and she can feel his thumbs start fiddling with the material of her shirt. "When you kissed me yesterday… I realized those…" she cuts herself off and takes a deep breath. "I didn't tell Josh about it, yet he somehow knew something was different. And so, we broke up and I didn't spend one thought about wanting him to come back and give us another shot. All I could think about was that kiss."

She's pouring her heart out to him and she doesn't even know why or who the hell opened up the tap. Now she's clenching her lips together, waiting for his response as she's observing the way his heart is pulsing a bit faster than before under her fingers. She can't bring it to herself to look him in those blue eyes, not sure what she fears the most, rejection or him sharing her feelings. If he rejects her then she'll never forgive herself for ruining their friendship. If he… then this is it, she knows it is, and it scares the crap out of her.

"You're… serious? You're not messing with me?" he whispers quietly and she takes a deep breath before looking up and shaking her head.

"No, I'm not messing with you," she says seriously. "You know me, Rick. Would I… open up like this if I didn't mean it?"

He shakes his head, his fingers suddenly clenching a bit making her gasp slightly. Kate lets her hand slide up to his shoulder, squeezing it the way he is squeezing her hips.

"Does this mean I'm finally allowed to ask you out on a date? A real one?" His face is so close now that she can practically taste his lips again. She just hums, can't bring herself to do anything else as she stares into his blue eyes, finding herself wanting nothing more than to taste his lips again. "Well, then, if you don't mind I would love to continue what I stopped earlier," he says carefully with a suggestive smirk and that boyish glimpse in his eyes that she hates that she loves.

"I don't mind," she says while she stands on her toes and pushes her lips on his again, melting into him once again.

THE END

Prompt: Prompt by /buffymoonxo on twitter: Do y'all think about how when Castle and Beckett kissed for the first time… like how long she must've stayed awake that night just replaying it in her mind and thinking about it and having this internal battle on what to do with her life now that she knows how his kisses taste.