Note: this story contains major spoilers of the books.

A Flow of Consciousness

Although Artemis Fowl had long recovered his memory, the doctors insisted that his therapy had to be carried out to the very end, in order to avoid the possibility of a relapse. Artemis Fowl was, after all, a most valuable asset to The Fairy People and none of the higher-ups would ever risk to lose what had come to be called, after the latest events, "Their Human Guardian", newly acquired honorary member of The People.
His therapy was actually quite simple, since it only involved the deployment of a single LEP agent: captain Holly Short had volunteered to supervise his recovery and help him regain his full memories by collecting testimonies of his adventures and reporting them back to him. That's how her assignment had been written down on the papers, at least. What she actually did was meeting up with Artemis in Fowl Manor once a week and spend some hours telling him his own story.
The whole process was possible thanks to the collaboration of his mother, Angeline Fowl, who "conveniently" established the family tradition of "Unity Wednesdays", during which she, Artemis Fowl Senior and the twins would stay out all evening and spend some quality time together. Angeline was the only other member of the Fowl family who knew about the People, and while at first a mind-wiping had seemed due, it was decided that she would make a reliable ally, and she was determined to prove this decision right.

Of course, Artemis remembered everything now, but Holly's narration always gave him a different perspective on events, and he actually enjoyed listening to the whole story again. Not to mention he just loved being able to spend this much time with his best friend.
Before the current "mission" had been assigned to her, it was terribly difficult for them to meet, with all the usual LEP stuff going on. Now he could just sit there and listen to her unfolding their story, the way their lives had been changing since they met.
When Artemis started putting the pieces back together, Holly felt so relieved she would hug him for hours. She had constantly feared she would never get him back, ever since the day he died. Six months waiting for the clone to be ready, during which Artemis was virtually dead, had taken their toll on her emotional stability, and while she was ecstatic about him being alive again, she felt responsible for his complete recovery and put a great weight on her own shoulders.
The atmosphere between them was much more relaxed now: it almost looked like they were just enjoying some extra time together and that it had nothing to do with Artemis having been dead…
That Wednesday the narration was going on longer than usual. They were reaching the end of the story: choosing to take a break was becoming increasingly difficult, but Holly looked exhausted and distressed. She'd been avoiding eye contact for a while.
'It's alright, Holly. ' Artemis told her. ' I know what happened next, there's no need to go on… '
She was bewildered as she looked up towards him: ' Sorry… Actually, I do need to go on. ' he glanced back with an inquisitive look. She went on: ' I didn't tell you, but the therapy isn't for you only. This last part is for me... I was told elaborating the events could help dealing with… '
Suddenly, Artemis felt a shiver of panic and terror going down his spine, but, somehow, he was sure that feeling wasn't coming from himself at all.
' … with the trauma. ' he completed the sentence for her.
Holly's voice came in a whisper: ' Yes. '
Artemis knew far too well what his friend was going through, because he endured the same experience before: she was only dead for a few seconds during the time distortion, but Artemis had seen Holly die, and had felt the full responsibility of bringing her back. Those had been the longest seconds of his whole life and they still haunted his dreams to the present day. It was the only memory which had remained clear the whole time, because, back then, he'd wrapped it up in magic and issued to his mind the order to remember.
He put his hand on Holly's shoulder: ' Alright, we'll do it, but I think you should rest, now. It's getting late and my family's going to be back soon. We can finish next week. '
' You're right, Arty… Also, I'm not feeling so well. ' she got up from the sofa but she stumbled.
' Easy there. ' he supported her so that she wouldn't fall and felt her forehead for the temperature: ' Gosh Holly, you're burning! ' he had her sit back and took his cell phone from the table: ' I'm calling Foaly: you can't make the journey back in this condition. You can't even stand on your feet… why didn't you tell me sooner? '
' I'm sorry… ' she lay down on the sofa, while Artemis made the call.
She could distinguish very little of what he said, but, as soon as she made out that she was allowed to stay until morning, she fell fast asleep.
Artemis got back to her: ' You can stay here for the night but you'll have to sleep in my room, you could be seen if you stayed… ' at this moment, he noticed she was already sleeping ' … here. ' Artemis shook her gently: ' Holly. Wake up. ' the only answer he got was a faint mumbling.
Looking down on her, he felt a strong surge of affection.
' Come on, then ' he sighed, taking her in his arms ' I'll bring you upstairs. '
We're so lucky I've gotten taller…

Artemis put Holly down in his bed and pulled a blanket over her. Then, he waited awake for the rest of the family to come back, around midnight, so that he could warn Angeline that Holly was staying for the night.
His mother cast him a suspicious glance: ' What have you two been up to, exactly? '
Artemis was expecting this kind of comment, since his mother had been making them a lot lately, but he was in no mood to play along: ' We've been up to nothing, mum. Holly isn't feeling well and I decided it was better for her not to attempt a flight back, that's all. It's not like we're sharing the bed, anyway. '
Angeline became thoughtful as she pasted together the implications: ' But you told me The People never get sick… '
Artemis' muscles tightened: ' That's the exact reason I'm worried, right now. Could you keep Myles and Beckett away from my room until the problem is solved? '
' Yes, of course… I hope she gets better soon. '
' So do I. '
When Artemis got back to his room, Holly was shivering and crying in her sleep. Her condition seemed to have gotten a lot worse in the few minutes he was away.
As he took her hand into his own, Artemis was run over by a wave of terror and sadness. Holly's emotions were so unexpected and overwhelming that he dropped to his knees, holding back the tears that had suddenly appeared in his eyes.
' Holly, what's happening to you? '
She moved in her sleep: ' Arty… ' her voice broke halfway through his name.
Artemis took a deep breath. This had to be a magical illness, and he had insufficient knowledge to help his friend right now. He took out the phone and called N°1. He was the closest to an expert he could currently get in touch with. The phone rang an awful amount of times before N°1 picked up.
' Artemis? It's past midnight, what's up? '
He told the demon what happened that night, down to the smallest detail. When Artemis came to the part about him feeling Holly's emotions, he could tell N°1 was getting tense.
' N°1, I've got the feeling you know something I don't about this whole matter. There's no need for me to tell you I should know everything to figure something out, but I'm telling you anyway. What is it? '
The demon sighed: ' I have a theory that what you're experiencing now is a form of empathomagic. Normally you'd have to be a wizard in order to do that, but the circumstances are quite unique… '
' In what way? '
' First of all, and this is something I'm supposed to keep secret, Holly poured some of her magic into your cloned body during its growth, in order to make the process faster. She was officially forbidden to do so, but even with her magic they caught your soul just in time before the spell vanished. Without her, you would have certainly been long gone by the time they got the clone ready. Her magic is still inside you, at least partially.
Second, the two of you are connected. Nothing new, nothing dangerous: she still has your left eye, even though hers has died along with your original body.
And thirdly, by the looks of it, she's overwhelmed by extremely strong emotions that she's been bottling up for years. You were right, it is no normal illness. My best guess is that this state has been triggered by grief. She's had to take lots of that in her life. '
' But she never allowed herself the time to suffer. She never dealt with it, she just pressed on. ' Artemis deduced. ' This is so like her. '
He made a mental list of Holly's losses, as he knew them: her mother, her father, Julius Root, Vinyaya and, well… himself. He was the only one of those people who came back, but it had been no certain outcome, and the success of the process, as he had just found out, had relied entirely on Holly's resolution. Therefore it counted as grief, nonetheless. That sure was a lot of feelings to bottle up inside herself.
' I get it the only way for Holly to heal is to live out those feelings, am I wrong? '
' Yes, I mean, no, you're absolutely right. I'm afraid there's not much we can do for her, though. I mean, as long as she keeps denying them she'll never get better. It's up to her... '
' How do I reach her? '
' … Sorry? I told you, there's nothing we could… '
' You just told me I'm being empatho-magical here, N°1. Holly is overwhelmed by emotions right now: that's plenty to work on with empathy, as I understand it. I know empathy wizards can send messages as much as receive them, and you're such a wizard yourself. Tell me how to reach her… please. '
On the other side of the phone, N°1 was astonished. ' I guess there's no actual rule on how to do it… You just open up and, well… empathise. It's not a science, Artemis, I'm sorry. It's not something you can do with your brain. '
' Thank you, N°1. That's enough to know. I'll keep in touch. '
He went back to Holly's side with the urge to try his plan out, but he knew it would do her no good if he weren't perfectly calm when connecting to her. That's the thing with empathy: it goes both ways.
He sat beside his tormented friend, going over everything he knew about empathy and mirror neurons, and eventually managed to calm down.
He caressed Holly's head and smiled sadly: ' You always have to be the strong one, don't you? When this is all over, I'll remind you to curl up and cry from time to time. '
As he uttered those words, the thought occurred to him that he'd been just like that most of his life. Maybe he still was, but he'd been working on it in the past few months: dying has its strange ways of resetting one's priorities.
' But I won't wait for you to die to find it out, Holly… I totally won't. '
He touched her forehead with his own, just like she did years ago to probe his memories: it was a proven fact that physical contact enhanced empathic connection. He took another deep breath and opened up to Holly's mind.

As soon as their emotions touched, Artemis knew N°1's theory was right: grief was all over the place. Images of death flowed through his consciousness, distorted and amplified by Holly's mind. Even the deaths she didn't witness were there in painful detail, maybe even the more so since she had all the time to build those memories up from imagination: the death of Holly's mother, in particular, was clearly the outcome of years spent thinking it over, seeing Coral, all alone, dying under the ocean.
Holly never pictured her father's death, but the fact she didn't hear from him one last time after years of silence filled her with sadness. Julius and Vinyaya died in battle: their deaths were somehow less unexpected, but not in the least less painful. Artemis was almost overpowered by Holly's tormenting sense of guilt, the common feature that connected every memory to the others.
Then, Artemis was brought before the memories of his own death. He remembered it well on his side, it hadn't been pleasant, but somehow it seemed way worse through Holly's eyes. He felt her impotence while she watched him die from the distance, the guilt of not having been able to stop him from his lunatic plan. He felt her will not to resign herself to lose a loved one ever again, while on the other hand desperation was taking control. She imagined the pain he was feeling way more vividly than he even remembered having felt it. It was like she had died more than he did, that day, and she kept dying all over again as those memories haunted her mind.
He fought to find some positivity inside himself, since Holly's desperation was swallowing it all up. He looked inside himself for all the affection he felt for her and imagined to wrap her heart up in a warm cover. It's not your fault. None of it. He felt the first step for her to come out of it was to stop tearing herself apart with guilt. It led to nothing. It was wrong.
A stronger wave of negative emotions fought him back, but he persisted, hugging her heart to protect it. After a long outburst of rage, sadness started pouring out of her wounds. Artemis reached out to her as Holly's inner self began to cry a flood of intangible tears.
This time, Holly's memories came back in the tinge of blue and violet, less convulsive and somehow deeper. It felt like a hole was being carved in Artemis' chest, to be filled with tears.
Holly reached out to touch his consciousness. but when she felt his warmth, her thoughts were instantly taken back to his death. It wasn't the moment he died, though. This memory took place later, if it even was a memory at all, and not a projection of her feelings. It made no difference, anyway, because in her mind it was just as real. She was sitting beside his dead body, Butler had walked away to see that everyone else was alright. She was crying and her tears were running down her cheeks all the way to his chest.
' I know you had a plan. ' she sobbed: ' You always have a plan. I'll bring you back, Artemis, no matter what. I'll bring you back. ' she was shivering, as she leaned closer to him. ' I wouldn't do without you. ' those were the same words she used back then, in another time, when she kissed him. And kiss him she did again, only this time he couldn't kiss her back…
This scene hit Artemis like a punch in the stomach. He didn't remember any of that, since his spirit was already floating away, struggling to keep itself together. He was quite sure the tears that came to his eyes were his own, this time.
Holly...She was lost in grief, now. He gathered all the love he was capable of and sent it her way, hoping she would listen. Holly, I'm here now.
He felt her confusion, but also a strong, heartening relief. And fear. Fear that he would disappear again. Fear that she would be left alone. Fear that in the end it would all be her fault. He wrapped her consciousness up with his love, again and again.
Stop hating yourself. You didn't do anything wrong. And I'm not leaving you anymore. Ever.
He could sense that his emotions were finally passing through. Holly was healing - slowly, painfully healing.
I know you're hurt. You can cry your heart out if you need to. I'm here, Holly… I love you.
He had just the time to feel Holly's answer coming from the depths of her mind, calling out his name as if it were the most beautiful music in the world.
Then he was cut out of the empathic connection as he fell asleep beside her.

Early in the morning, Artemis was woken up by the ring of his phone. It took some time for him to come out of his sleepiness.
' N°1, hi… '
The demon skipped directly past the greetings: ' So, how did it go? How's Holly? '
Artemis looked at her: she was sleeping peacefully, all curled up against him, her head resting on his chest.
He spoke in a whisper, careful not to disturb her: ' I guess it worked out smoothly. She looks better, even though she hasn't woken up yet. Her subconscious sure has a lot to catch up with, and sleeping is the most efficient way to do that, so I don't suppose we'll be hearing from her soon. ' he touched her forehead with his lips to check her temperature - in absence of a thermometre, it was the most reliable method, but since it was a rather intimate gesture he only dared attempt it now that he knew she wouldn't mind. ' The fever's down as well. '
Artemis could tell N°1 was tingling with curiosity and was only holding it back not to sound inappropriate: ' What you did is remarkable, Dr. Fowl ' the demon said instead, half joking. ' Only the best wizards would have attempted it. Diving into a delirious consciousness is always dangerous. '
Artemis chuckled: ' I'd make quite the peculiar doctor, given that my method only works on a single individual. But thank you, anyway. '
' Well, it's quite the individual you've got there! Speaking of which: I've arranged for Holly to have a couple days' leave from work. I thought she would need them. She could try and make the flight back as soon as she wakes up, but I figure you two would rather spend some time together… You know, empathic contact is a challenging experience, you'll probably need to talk it over. Just be careful that nobody sees her, as usual. '
Artemis felt extremely grateful to have the demon as a friend. He was always mindful of what people needed: ' Thank you, N°1. I'll keep her safe. '
He hung up and studied Holly's expression: her sleep didn't seem troubled. Maybe she was simply too exhausted to dream of anything. Her hair was incredibly messy - she was letting it grow lately, so it went just past her ears now, brushing her neck, and the extra length had become a tangle overnight. The signs of tears were still shading her cheeks, but that was the only remnant of her tormented past hours. Artemis sighed in relief: he had thought her life would be in danger once again...
Now that the crisis was over he had a chance to re-evaluate the events. The empathic flow had disoriented him at first, but then it had become increasingly natural, and in the end he was sure he'd been able to help her out of an impasse. The rest was up to her, now…
But something else was puzzling him: one thing he could tell for sure out of this mess was that Holly loved him just as much as he loved her. He'd felt her emotions as if they were his own, there was no mistaking it. But things that in the irrational world of empathy appeared so plain and simple could turn out much more complicated, once rationality could have its part in them. What Holly thought of that matter was the main unknown. Maybe there was a reason she didn't want him to know her feelings. He himself never managed to tell her, partly because he already messed things up once just when all pieces where finally falling into place, a long time ago, during their time travel. He never really had the guts to try and question Holly's "no more elf-kissing" rule: he'd already lost her trust, it was way too stupid to try and lose her respect as well.
But then again, things had changed a lot since then: they'd grown up, they'd become best friends. They spent hours talking and had lots of fun together, they were "partners in crime", sharing an irreplaceable bond. And now this… He didn't know what to think anymore. His knowledge of Holly's perception of their relationship had lagged behind, and wasn't bound to catch up until she woke up and told him her mind.
He sent some more affection her way with magic, just to let her know he was there. It was all he could do, for know. Regardless of what would happen between them from now on, he would always be by her side, no matter what.
Someone knocked at the door.
' Arty, are you awake? ' it was Angeline.
' Yes. ' he answered, keeping his voice as low as possible.
' How's Holly? Can I come in? ' The door opened before he could even answer, but then why would her son choose to keep her out of his room?
Angeline was startled by seeing the two of them nestled together: ' So much for not sharing the bed, eh? ' she glanced at Artemis in reproach.
He rolled his eyes: ' It wasn't intentional. I just happened to be next to her during a tiring process of empathomagic, and I fell asleep. Seriously mum, why do you always draw the wrong conclusions? '
Angeline stepped into the room and closed the door behind her: ' I know some things about love, Arty. You should see the look on your face when you talk about Holly, not to mention when she's around... Wait, did you just say "magic"? '
' To make a long story short, I improvised as a wizard that works through empathy - yes, they're a thing - to help her out of an emotive illness. '
Angeline was amazed: ' That's some alternative medicine… Did it work? '
' I guess it did, we'll find out when she wakes up. It might take some time. '
' Okay, then: you just look after her, I'll keep the boys away and... bring you some food, maybe? '
Holly moved restlessly beside him. He nodded to his mother and silently spelled out ' Thank you. '
When the door closed again, leaving them alone, he turned back to Holly, who was almost conscious. ' Sorry, I woke you up. '
' Artemis… ' she spoke with immense struggle. ' I have to… back… work… '
He smiled: ' You have a day off. Just rest, okay? '
She curled up in his arms and muttered: ' Deal. ' then she fell back into a deep, peaceful slumber.

Holly had the impression that her mind had been torn apart and put together again. She retained neither mental nor physical energy from the titanic effort of dealing with years of accumulated grief in just a few hours. She felt more exhausted than a dwarf who had just "trimmed the weight", were she asked make a simile. But at least her spirit was relatively at peace, now.
The hours passed by in a blur while she versed in a semi-comatose state of slumber, from which she could make out very little of what was happening in her surroundings. She felt Artemis' presence next to her most of the time, but she was too weak to try and talk to him.
Sometimes she woke up and he wasn't there, but she could hear his voice through the closed door, along with someone else's. A corner of her mind was aware that her staying in Fowl Manor for so long could be risky, but the other, considerably stronger, part of her mind didn't give a damn and only wanted to sleep. And heal. And possibly be hugged and cuddled through the whole process… wait, what? Nevermind, brain, just sleep and heal up, you're out of your mind. Holly frowned. Do brains even have a mind? She turned over and buried her head under the blanket. She was trained enough to know she was in an irrational, exceptional state and it was excusable for her not to be able to think straight, so she just gave up all of the thinking and put it aside for later. No use in freaking out now just because she was longing for physical and emotional contact. It's alright… nothing wrong… empathomagic... her randomly assembled thoughts kept bringing her back to Artemis. Gratitude and disbelief mixed up inside her. Along with something else. I should thank him, yes… I should… I should… oh, no… she buried herself deeper between the blankets and the pillow, which had the unfortunate side effect of surrounding her with Artemis' smell and make her longing for him even stronger. She didn't have the time to complain to her own brain, though, because she was back asleep in an instant.

Artemis spent the whole day between his bedroom, checking out on Holly and keeping her company, and his study room, revising an awful amount of research papers about the non-magical mourning process, hoping it could somehow help with the next phase of Holly's recovery… the more normal and gradual one.
He assumed Holly had just rushed through most of the steps, but, again, he wouldn't know how many and to what extent until she woke up. For her to feel completely normal right away was, to say the least, highly improbable, and Artemis was determined to put his knowledge of psychology to good use, if it came to it.
When he came back to his room after dinner, he found Holly completely buried in the blankets. Did she wake up while he was downstairs?
He crouched down beside her and moved the blanket to uncover Holly's face. It was hidden between her arms, but she didn't seem in pain. Artemis smiled: ' Are you communing with the essence of a caterpillar? ' she opened an eye and looked at him sideways. Then she shut down again.
' I thought you were going to sleep at least eight or nine more hours. Aren't you still tired? '
No answer.
' Of course you are... Look, I still have some RPs to go over. I could do it here, or I could just go to the study room and come back later. You don't need to articulate a sound to answer, just nod if you want me to stay. '
Holly's head moved under her cocoon of blankets. Artemis settled down on the bed beside her, and felt a faint shiver coming from her body.
' Holly? Is something wrong? '
He barely heard her muttering something, as if she were quarreling with herself. Then she moved closer and curled up next to him. She looked like a little wild squirrel who was claiming him as the safest place to make her den. Her muscles were still tense, though, as if she were waiting for approval.
He took his e-reader from the nearest side table, setting himself up to read for the next few hours, and then surrounded her with an arm, pulling her closer. She seemed to find some comfort in his gesture.
' Better? '
Holly breathed in slowly and yawned. ' Yes… better… '
Despite some early protest of her rational side, Holly's mind was gradually reaching a consensus on the positive effects of cuddling on her chronic exhaustion. She tried to report her findings to Artemis, but she found her sleepy performance to be rather unsatisfactory.
He started stroking her head with his free hand, though, so it couldn't possibly have been that bad…
Holly was quite sure she heard him giggle: ' Yes, I think you're right. But we shall conduct some more experimental testing... Just to be sure. '
Finding itself in what her brain classified as the ideal external condition, it could finally go back to sleep and resume its trimming of psychological weight.

That night, Holly dreamt of her mother. She had dreams about her before, in many different contexts throughout the years, but this time it was different.
Until now, the Coral Short that materialised in her dreams had always been angry at her, deformed by bitterness and disappointment: Holly abandoned her to die alone. And even though Holly was aware she'd done all she could, and there was no way to change the past, deep down she felt she deserved her mother's hatred. She even waited for it as a righteous punishment for her betrayal, and suffered silently under the accusations of her mother's dead spirit.
But this time it was different. It only lasted a few seconds in the midst of shapeless chaos: it was her mom, the one she retained in her dearest childhood memories. Her presence was bright and warm. She came to tell her that she was ready to go. That she was proud of Holly, of the brave young elf she had become. And that she loved her.
Her words opened a chasm in Holly's chest: she hadn't felt worthy of her mother's love in years. Of any kind of love, for that matter.
Coral's intangible hand caressed her daughter's cheek, and after one last goodbye she disappeared forever. All that was left was a warm feeling in Holly's heart.

Holly woke from her dream almost without noticing, her mom's last words still echoing in her ears. She was weeping silently, but she felt relieved as she'd never been since her mother's death. Something had just changed inside her.
She turned around: Artemis was very close to her, sound asleep. Suddenly, Holly felt terribly cold.
' Artemis… ' she called softly, touching his shoulder. He woke up instantly but was too disoriented to speak.
' I had a dream… ' she whispered. ' About my mom. '
He turned to look her in the eye. The reason they could see each other in the dark was both that their eyes adapted well and that they were standing really, really close: ' What kind of dream? '
Holly needed some time to gather her voice: ' She said she was ready to go, now…' she started crying again '...and that she loved me. '
' That's a good sign. ' he said softly, wiping her tears with his hand.
' Really? '
His smile made her heart falter. ' The best sign ever, Holly. You're amazing. '
Holly could have sworn she felt the touch of Artemis' lips on hers. It lasted only a split second, then the feeling was gone. She dismissed it as a trick of her imagination, because it just didn't make sense: he hadn't moved an inch.
' Arty… '
' Yes? '
' I think I need a hug. '
He came a bit closer and passed his arm around her waist.
' Thank you… ' she couldn't see his face anymore, but she knew he was smiling again. She felt the vibration of his chest as he said: ' No need to thank me, I'll hug you all you want... Goodnight, Holly. '

At what she figured to be about five in the morning, Holly found herself feeling perfectly rested. Finally.
She was surprised to see that Artemis was already up, as well. He was standing at the other side of the room, looking out of the window.
' Hi... '
He turned around with a grin, the one he had when some part of his current plan worked out perfectly: ' Hi! You woke up early. I supposed you would. '
Holly was puzzled: ' … what are you doing? '
' Nothing really, I was just waiting for you to wake up. And I have a proposal. '
Holly waited for him to continue after his usual dramatic pause. When they had just met she outright hated this habit of his, but, throughout the years, she'd grown surprisingly fond of his way of speaking. And of Artemis himself, but this was a whole other business which she carefully avoided thinking about.
He pointed out of the window: ' How would you like to go for a walk? It's probably the safest moment to do it, while everyone else is still asleep. '
Holly's eyes brightened. Outside. Without missions, without orders to hurry and get back, without some crazy pixie hell-bent on taking their lives. Only the trees, the dew, the rising sun… It sounded like a dream.
' I knew you'd say yes. ' He deduced before she could even articulate an answer.
' Take this. ' he threw her a black hoodie that Holly recognized as one of Angeline's attempts to make her son look like a normal teenager. It must have been bought some years before: the sleeves were slightly too long, but apart from that it was almost her size. ' It's chilly outside, this early in the morning. ' he explained. ' Maybe you won't need it, but you should take it along, just in case. '
But Holly was already wearing it: ' I really don't get why you don't like normal clothes. ' she commented ' It's so warm and comfy. '
As they went out in the fresh morning twilight Holly felt like she was rebirthing. Like all members of The People, she drew most of her life force from nature and, even among The People, she was affected by it more than average - no wonder one of her main reasons for joining LEPrecon was the possibility to venture on the surface. Artemis knew it well, and Holly had to admit he had just the perfect idea at the perfect time.
' Never underestimate the power of an empathic genius. ' she muttered to herself. She only realized he would hear her when she'd already spoken.
' What? '
Holly smiled: ' Nothing… I was just considering how much superior an empathic genius is to a criminal genius, Arty. You made my day with this walk outside. There was a time when, even if you knew what people needed, you simply wouldn't care… '
He became thoughtful: ' You know I don't like the person I was… I'm sorry I made you suffer back then. '
Gosh, she thought, he's taking this a little too seriously: ' Cheer up, Mud Boy! Those days are long past. I guess all I wanted to say is… well, that I like who you've become. Really. You don't know how much. '
His mood lightened up as a smirk appeared on his face: ' I think I can guess with some degree of accuracy. '
Holly's face felt like it was making an attempt at spontaneous combustion. Among everything that happened, the fact that her mind had pretty much no secrets from him anymore had become almost irrelevant. Until now, at least.
Artemis' expression turned into a sad smile: ' Sorry… You know I'm not making fun of you, Holly... We're in this together, after all. '
Holly had assumed the memories of their empathic contact were probably way more confused on her side then his - she was the delirious one, so it made perfect sense - and therefore she hadn't made any serious attempt at recollection. But as soon as Artemis uttered those words, she was astonished to find out she remembered more than she expected. She remembered being surrounded by love so intense that she was finally able to find that sparkle of self-caring and determination she needed to overcome her crisis.
Of course she knew it was Artemis who was helping her, but only looking at him now did she realise what it actually meant, and where all that love came from. It wasn't an abstract feeling coming from an indefinite "somewhere" in between their contact. It was him. It was actually, physically him: somewhere inside the body she once gave her magic to, somewhere inside Artemis' mind, the love and affection she felt the other night were still there.
She looked at him walking silently beside her, and it seemed like she'd never really seen him before. The longing she felt towards him in the latest hours was suddenly back, but now that she was back to her usual, rational self, she couldn't bring herself to act upon it.
' Let's go, I want to show you something. ' he said, taking her by the hand and leading her across the lawn.
As they approached the hill on the eastern side of the Fowl property, Artemis could sense Holly was tensing up. He'd thought this over many times while he was waiting for her to wake up, and he'd drawn the conclusion that she was probably in the right phase for memory-overwriting and that it would eventually have a most beneficial effect on her process to overcome the trauma. They were going to the place he died.
He wanted to walk past the roses' tower and reach the perfect spot to watch the sun rising on the horizon.
When she figured out where they were headed, Holly came to a sharp halt.
' Artemis… I don't want to go there… '
Her hand was trembling in his. He'd expected this kind of reaction: one thing was to come at peace with traumatic memories, and another was going back to where they took place. But he was sure it was the right thing to do, while her mind was still actively shaping her perception of reality. He needed to reassure her that he would not disappear again, and this was an unprecedented chance of doing so.
He came closer to Holly and looked her in the eye: ' I understand how you feel, but there's nothing to worry about. We're perfectly safe, and I promise that you won't regret having come here. ' She was still hesitant.
' You know I'd never do anything to hurt you. Just trust me on this one, okay? It's going to be alright. '
She breathed in and nodded determinately. Like hell she would let a stupid hill have the better of her.
Once they got to the other side of the tower, Holly's fears evaporated: she was looking at the most beautiful sundawn she'd ever seen, the soft morning light caressing a plain of Irish fields and glinting peacefully on the distant line of the sea, on the horizon. The dew on the grass gave it an even brighter shade of green. Every detail was singing a silent song to her heart.
She turned to Artemis in amazement: ' You knew, didn't you? '
He nodded: ' I've been coming here often in the last months. I told you you wouldn't regret it. '
She went back to look at the landscape, sipping it in with every breath.
' Can we stay here for a while? '
' That was my intention. You don't get many chances of enjoying a sight, do you? ' He sat down with his back on the wall of the tower.
She shook her head: ' No, I don't… And the few times I do, I'm usually alone. ' she sat down beside him and leaned so that her head would rest on his shoulder: ' It's much better this way. '
Holly was mildly hoping he would hug her, but, when he actually did, she was surprised nonetheless.
They kept silent for a while, listening to the world gradually waking up.
Then, Holly remembered something that caught her curiosity. She spoke as softly as she could: she didn't want to break the atmosphere.
' You said you come here often. Why is it? '
Artemis thought the question over for a while: ' I guess my spirit grew fond of this place sometime during the struggle to remain in this world, even though I don't actually remember how I felt back then. My theory is that not having a body is too much for a human mind to conceive, therefore my brain simply chose to remove the whole experience. '
' It's probably for the better. '
' It is… but apart from that, being here reminds me I won't be alive forever. It puts things into perspective, you know. '
Their eyes met for a long instant and Holly had the same, crazy impression that their lips were actually touching, even though they obviously weren't.
Artemis briskly averted his eyes: ' Sorry… This empatho-magic thing catches me off guard, sometimes. I'll be more careful. '
It took some seconds for Holly to understand what was going on. It bewildered her, but it all made sense now: she felt like they were kissing because he actually wanted to kiss her, and his magic was unintentionally conveying the message. She didn't dislike the idea at all, but of course she couldn't bring herself to tell him that, so she just stayed silent.
Artemis was the first to speak again: ' Can I ask you something? '
She nodded, half dreading what his question would be.
' Is there a specific reason why you never told me how you feel? About us, I mean… '
Holly admired him for the nonchalance in which he uttered those words. She tried to think of the reasons that led her to keep her feelings hidden, but the only one that came to her mind was that she'd been denying herself the very right to have them. Everything else was just rubbish she used to tell herself in order to sleep well at night.
' I was scared. ' as she pronounced those words she instantly knew them to be true. It was the final truth that lay behind her whole behaviour towards Artemis until now, and she was only acknowledging it for the first time.
' I was so messed up I didn't even realise I was scared as hell... And I still am, Arty, but… ' her voice died out. He tightened the hug and sighed. He seemed relieved.
' So it wasn't about the species, after all. '
This remark surprised her: ' What do you mean? '
' It was the only thing you said back then, when you kissed me for the first… for the one and only time. You said it was stupid because we are not even of the same species. I thought it over so many times, but I just couldn't find a plausible reason for it to be a problem. Well, I'm a virtually dead person living in a cloned body, I think we're a bit beyond the species issue, at this point. ' his laughter had a shade of bitterness: ' Hell, I might even be a dwarf, had Foaly decided to play a prank on me. '
Holly laughed along, the thought of Artemis being turned into a dwarf was incredibly hilarious: ' Some dwarves would find your comment very offensive. But you're right. ' she turned serious again and looked for eye contact: ' There is nothing wrong with you, Artemis, I was just scared of being hurt, all along. Especially since you… since you died… I could never get rid of the feeling that I'd just lose you all over again, sooner or later… '
His gaze became intense: ' I won't let that happen. '
The feeling of a ghost kiss, again. Don't you dare look away, D'Arvit. Do you want to drive me crazy, here?
' It's alright. ' she told him.
He was astonished: ' … What? '
' I'm feeling it anyway, and it's so realistic it might as well be real. Just kiss me already. '
Artemis' eyes betrayed his shock. But he must have noticed that he was doing that again… or maybe not? Well, too late now.
Holly reached out for him and finally got herself the kiss he had made her mind foretaste three times, already. And she made sure to make it last much longer: it felt just so good, so right…
' Sorry about the empathic kiss. I really didn't notice… ' he said when they came apart.
' Don't be sorry, Arty. I sure am not. ' she smiled, but her mood quickly clouded again. ' I hate to bring the subject on again, but… what did you mean with "I won't let that happen"? It's not something you can choose… '
Artemis knew she was talking about his life expectancy as a human being: no matter what he wished for, someday he would die of age and she would be left alone with many years ahead of her. He thought of that all the time, and all the more so ever since he found out that his love was not one-sided. He felt horrible for not having told her his news on the matter before, but there were so many things he'd had to test before he could have any certainties, and, when he finally did have them, it was never the right time…
' Actually, there's something I haven't told you... Don't give me that look, it's a good thing this time! '
Holly sighed: ' Okay, I'm listening. '
Artemis entered his "explanation mode": ' When I was appointed honorary member of The People, the Council found it appropriate for me to be granted the same longevity you all have. They pretended it was in order to facilitate my relations with The People, saying it wouldn't be nice for any of them to make friends with someone who would be dead in the blink of an eye. My guess is what they actually wanted was to preserve the most clever human ally they could find on the surface as long as possible. ' he giggled: ' Funny, isn't it? Virtually everyone of some importance in Haven spent the last few years wanting me dead, and when I finally died they realised they actually wanted me around for a few extra centuries. That's some coherence they've got, down there… '
Holly was staring at him in disbelief.
' Of course I had to figure out a way to implement their decision on my own, and, most of all, I had to check whether the method I came up with was reliable. N°1 and I eventually came to a satisfying mix of magic and science. It's totally legal and has the approval of the Council itself, so you really won't need to arrest me for this one - even though I won't complain, would you ever wish to arrest me for a different purpose... ' This last sentence was accompanied by a masterfully executed flirtatious grin, but he quickly went back to his previous composure: ' I'm really sorry I didn't tell you until now, but I never got a proper chance and, well… I didn't think it could ever matter this much to you… '
Holly was speechless and motionless. Then she punched him on the shoulder: ' Will you just stop keeping secrets, D'Arvit! ' she looked absolutely furious.
' I'm really sorry, Holly… Are you that mad at me? '
' No… ' she burst into tears and hugged him so tight he almost couldn't breathe. ' No, I'm not. It's just… Just when I finally resigned to the idea that you would die so soon, but I didn't care, because I wanted to be with you… Just when it didn't matter to me anymore… ' she was sobbing so much she had to stop speaking.
He tried to cheer her up: ' See, now you no longer need to worry about it. I wonder how long it will take for you to become fed up with me. Looks like you'll have to put up with me for an awfully long time... ' he kissed her neck, again and again. Somehow he managed to be playful and passionate at the same time.
Holly felt the warmth of Artemis' love in her own chest once again - he was intentionally letting her feel it. She did her best to do the same, even though she was no wizard, so that he could sense her heart purr under his touch, as if it were the most delighted of kittens.
She let herself enjoy this unprecedented, carefree happiness. And for the first time, she wasn't scared anymore: she knew, inside herself, that she was brave enough to make it last.