"It's such a shame he couldn't come to work today. I've had all sorts of things to discuss with him. Wish he didn't call in sick.

"Maybe tomorrow, then."

The commander was no expert in reading the mood of a room, but even his blindness could see that Amagi was uneasy. He snuck glances towards Amagi during the battle and she wasn't wholly concentrated on the simulation in front of her, furrowing her eyebrows from some argument in her head. But when they sat down to discuss the victorious aftermath, she was all small smiles. Just like normal. He might have left it alone, dismissing the dark clouds in his head were it not for one simple fact: Akagi herself was not present.

But he still remembered Akagi's words. And Amagi was still putting on airs that everything was under control, even though the concern on her eyebrows said otherwise. If anything, all the smoke and mirrors only made him want to inquire further. He wasn't sure if it was because of genuine concern or a selfish need to be in-the-know. But his ultimate decision was like many of his others: do nothing until someone else directly ropes him in. In this case, when either Amagi or Akagi wanted his opinion. But until then, he thought while looking at Amagi's focused expression, he'd have to remain on the sidelines.

Unlike last time, Amagi seemed to have entirely disappeared at breakfast. So he made his way over to his usual seat with the four destroyers. It felt like it'd been a while since he'd talked to any of them. Z23 waved from where she was sitting as he approached. Laffey raised her head off of the table long enough to see him, blinked twice, then went back to sleep.

Looked like nothing had changed. Javelin and Ayanami seemed to be having a very intense discussion about the superiority of certain flavors of ice cream over others. That, along with the general ambience of the canteen, let him exhale a breath he didn't know he was holding in the entire time. It felt like he hadn't released all of this tension in his shoulders and neck for a week straight.

"Tough day?" Z23 asked.

He groaned. "It feels like there have been nothing but tough days for quite a while."

"Is it with Miss Akagi and Miss Amagi?"

"I— wait, how did you know about that?"

Z23 giggled. "It's not really a big secret, you know. Almost everyone could see you've been spending a lot of time with them."

"I guess you're right," he conceded.

"Honestly, Kommandant, I would have thought you and Miss Amagi were going out! I saw you two together all the time." Z23 continued.

He huffed. "I didn't think you were the type to jump to conclusions like that."

Z23 shrugged off the snipe. "It's not really a big leap in logic. I mean, all the other commanders eventually started dating some of their subordinates as well."

He frowned. "What?"

"Oh, did I mumble again? I was just saying —"

"No, no. There were other commanders?"

Now it was Z23's turn to frown. "Yeah. There were, I think, six before you? Maybe seven? I thought you knew about this already."

"What happened to them?"

Z23 shrugged. "We never really found out. We're just told that the commander has been reassigned, and then we sortie by ourselves until the next one comes in. They average a couple months, usually."

His mind started to overclock. There were others before him? Where were they now? Was he, too, going to be reassigned as well? He didn't know any of this previously, and that oversight frightened him. The simple fact of there being predecessors made his gut crumple upon itself.

"You alright, Kommandant?"

"I… I think I'm okay." He wasn't sure if he was lying or not.

"I didn't mean to worry you," she said, concern creeping into her face.

"No, it shouldn't be anything to worry about. I was just, uh, startled. So, what were you saying earlier? About the previous commanders' dating lives?"

"Hm? Oh, yes. Many of us thought that you were dating Amagi, because the others started around this time as well."

"And who did they choose?" The commander felt a little grimy talking about others' past love lives in this manner.

"Um, I don't remember everyone off the top of my head, but a couple definitely loved Miss Akagi the most. I think there was another who went out with Miss Enterprise too."

Yeah, this line of discussion wasn't helping his digestive system. Part of the reason was that Z23 was speaking so matter-of-factly, like she was listing off elements of the periodic table. Hydrogen. Akagi. Helium. Enterprise.

"So how were the other commanders like?" he asked, trying to quell the twisting of his stomach. He stopped eating quite a while ago. Javelin and Ayanami were still at it, with Javelin's long-winded explanations versus Ayanami's short rebuttals. But somehow their argument shifted from ice cream flavors to the optimal tension at which a trampoline should be. Laffey was awake now, and was listening to the conversation with foggy confusion. Her eyes lazily darted back and forth between Javelin and Ayanami, as if watching an extremely fast ping pong rally right after waking up from a nap.

"Most of them were nice," Z23 recalled. "They all generally were nice to us, and were decent in strategy. But I think you're the best strategist so far. I don't remember the others having such a long undefeated streak, with absolute minimal casualties."

At least that made his heart warm a bit.

"But… all the others were a lot more open and social than you." There was the kicker. It was expected, but it still stung to be heard out loud.

"Yeah…" he sheepishly said, scratching the back of his head. "I guess that sounds about right. So, did you have any favorites?" His curiosity could not seem to dampen. Why was he so engrossed about his predecessors anyways?

He already knew the answer to that. Of course he wanted to compare himself. Like a bunch of middle schoolers sharing their test scores. But in this case, it was more of him comparing himself to those who'd already graduated. An utterly pointless task. But he could not seem to stop himself, much like a toddler straining on their tippy-toes to match the height of their elder sibling.

Z23's face flushed a bit. "Well… there was one who was rather close to me. He was very nice to all of us. His last name was Anderson."

He nodded, his expression taut in concentration.

"He made us feel special, and made it a point to go around asking how our days were going. A lot of us were really sorry when he had to go."

"He was really warm. Like a heater," Laffey added. At some point, she must have shifted her attention from the lively discussion to the much more personal discourse. "Laffey was very cold and had to sleep with three blankets."

"Why did he go?" he pressed.

"Well, none of us know for sure," Z23 admitted, "but he wasn't too great at strategy. A lot of us got injured at every battle, and he'd visit each of us while in recovery to apologize. And eventually he lost a battle too important, and so he took his stuff, apologized, and left."

"Commander Anderson was a good and warm person," Laffey commented. "But he wasn't a good commander."

The commander opened his mouth to ask them whether they would have a good commander and a bad person, or Anderson, but he shut himself up before the words left his mouth. Instead, he carefully said, "I hope I don't disappoint, then."

Laffey got up to stumble around to the commander's side and promptly collapsed against his shoulder. "Commander is warm. Laffey is happy. Laffey will now sleep." And just like that, Laffey was fast asleep, dozing off in the canteen with her arms in a limp hug.

"Laffey!" Z23 yelled. The shout barely scratched the ambience of the lively canteen, and as such, Laffey made no reaction save for her light shallow breaths. Z23 groaned.

"Sorry, Kommandant. Laffey has a bad habit of sleeping on people all the time," Z23 apologized.

"It's fine. It reminded me of the first day here. I had a terrible headache and took a long nap, and the next thing I knew, there was another body on me when I woke up." He made that little stiff exhale one does when something was mildly amusing but didn't warrant a full chuckle.

"Oh. So you've experienced Laffey's narcoleptic tendencies before. Um, do you want me to take Laffey off your hands, Kommandant?"

He looked at Laffey's peaceful expression. "I think I can handle it. But thanks for offering, Z23." When he went back to look at Z23, she was smiling. "Is there something funny?"

She shook her head. "No, Kommandant. I'm just glad that you seem less stressed now. There's this little crease on your face —" Z23 poked the skin between his two eyebrows "— that's almost always there. When you were talking about Laffey, it went away."

He rubbed that same area. He noticed something similar for his dad, but he had no idea that it got passed down to him as well. He tried to unknot the muscles in his face, but he had to physically massage his eyebrows with his fingers to loosen it voluntarily. Z23 couldn't help but giggle at the strange sight.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," he muttered, but even he couldn't deny the light feeling which felt like a weight had been taken off his chest letting him breathe easy. When going about his errands, tea times with half of the Royal Navy made him feel like every single word made his lungs collapse further until his sentences became mumbling that no one could hear. And everyone would be too polite to point out the fact they heard absolutely nothing that resembled English and nod, pretending to understand. And he'd spend the entire time wondering when the entire affair would end. When it did end, he was too mentally exhausted to do anything else productive for the day.

But this? He could do this just fine. He was at ease, and could stay in this moment forever. But eventually, it had to end. The commander shook Laffey awake (with some minor protests and eye rubbing), and everyone parted their separate ways.

But his smile soon faded a bit. He needed to find out more about the previous commanders. What they did wrong, and what they did right. And most importantly, if he was to go the same way as them, to be temporary and leave once his usefulness had expired.

—

As it turns out, those after action reports were good for something at last. Within the bursting file cabinets held little nuggets of information in between the lines of half-hearted dry facts. A show of favoritism. Concern over some individual ships. Or a personal insight added in as a footnote.

And what did he find out?

The previous commanders were just like all his colleagues from the academy. A handful of overconfident brutes who only knew to fight, fight, fight, close up and personal. Others who were conservative, fighting wars of attrition and long range barrages.

But all of them especially cared for their ships. Some of them wrote too much, writing ballads from auspicious victories and 21st century heartbreak pop songs with each narrow loss. Anderson belonged in this category. With how much effort they put into these reports, it only reminded the current commander how little effort he put into his.

Interestingly enough, there was only one other commander who wrote clinical reports like his. And if the dates were to be believed, it was the very first commander. That commander put a painstakingly large amount of personal notes which filled the margins and borders, hastily scribbled in pencil as an afterthought. Questions and hypotheses of what the Sirens were up to. Their whereabouts, their motives, and their future actions. It looked like the work of an obsessed madman.

On the final report signed by him, there was one final barely-legible comment at the footnote which caught his eye. It read, "I think I know now. I just need to confirm it. I'm going to be there in-person. Next time."

The report after that was signed by his secretary. The report: the battle was a complete disaster. All ships were injured in some manner and required much repair. And the commander had been captured.

What a crackpot. What kind of madman would do that? He thought too much and then fell too deep. But then the question was, what was the thing he risked life and limb for? There was no scribble which made any coherent sense.

He put the file back and rubbed his eyes. He must have been crouched over his cabinets for hours on end. The neck and back protested from the sudden movement of straightening into a normal posture. And while the urge to look through any more files had completely died, his questions remained.

What an asshole.

—

The commander decided to go out for a walk. Unearthing all the yellowing pages from unused file cabinets kick-started his dust allergy and he couldn't stand his office anymore. He figured that Belfast had it covered.

The sun was blisteringly sunny, shining its radiance to every corner. The average person would call it a perfect sunny day. A few were playing at the beachside, kicking up seawater at the patrons trying to sunbathe. For him, the sun just made him sneeze even more frequently, and he started to feel the onset of another headache. He tucked his cap lower on his face and stalked off towards an unplanned location, far from the dust storm he created.

His random meandering led him eventually to a grass field atop a small cliff. The view was picturesque. The occasional small cloud dotted the perfect blue sky, with a darker shade of blue as the ocean. He lay down in the grass which billowed and turned with the sea breeze. Cap on his face, he looked to sleep the pulsing in his head away. And as usual, his mind ran wild.

Seven commanders before him. One was captured. The other six were reassigned elsewhere, to places unknown. Chances were better than not that he, too, would be gone before the year's end. So it was in the mental shadow of the titans he wondered. How each would truly be a man with talents galore, and to command respect with a single word and emit infectious confidence to all of his subordinates. He had seen a photo that was paper clipped onto a commissions report. A kind, smiling man who didn't seem uncomfortable at all bearing a cheesy smile with his equally satisfied kansen and their haul. Compared to these people, he still felt like a kid. Like a thirteen year old beating a man at chess, then returning home to ruin his life performing reckless stunts with his health and future while the man would feed his children and kiss his wife.

He was in his twenties now. And he needed to be treated like a child to function. He needed to vent and have companions and get rid of all his impotent helplessness. He wasn't ready for this role at all. He could move around pieces on a board. He could do it better than anyone else. But might as well replace him with a computer. The computer would do a better job at handling conversations and require less conversations to do it, as well.

Sure, he got along with a couple of them already. But it had already been on a scale of several months, and he could only talk with a maximum of five kansen without completely freezing up and stuttering. There was no point in trying, he thought. The gap was too large. No matter how many baby steps he took, there was no way to get to the Moon from here. Bremerton's words seemed so alien now.

He slipped from consciousness under the bright daylight.

Or at least, was about to, when someone kicked him in the side sharply.

He instantly doubled over, clutching his injured side, and howled. The cap knocked aside, his eyes roved around to see who was the perpetrator, and planned seventy different ways to plan his revenge.

And then he saw a small girl in a white translucent dress and purple hair, hiding her face with her hands and sobbing "I'msorryI'msorryI'msorry!"

The pieces were connected easily in his brain. While he was still pissed, it was impossible to get angry at someone like that. He stumbled his way over to her side and sat down heavily next to her.

He cleared his throat. "Let me guess, you weren't looking where you were going?"

Eventually, the sobs abated and she slowly nodded, face still in hands.

The commander had seen her multiple times on occasion. Her name was Unicorn. She often hung out with Laffey and the gang as well as sat next to Illustrious' side at teatimes. It was mildly unfortunate that this was their first impressions of each other.

His nap was ruined, his headache still raged, and his right side was stinging with a vengeance which would definitely double by the morning of tomorrow, but he couldn't find the place in his heart to seek reprisal from someone who was clearly very sorry. So he sighed and said, "Just be careful where you're going next time, alright?" He rubbed his temples to try to stem the pounding in his skull.

She nodded again, and slowly uncovered her face to show her round, innocent eyes. His rage abated, and all he could do was sigh. It was a shame he couldn't get a quick nap, but perhaps he'll go to his actual room, instead of looking for odd places to sleep like Laffey. He picked up his cap and got up to leave, but there was a tug on his sleeve.

Unicorn bashfully looked at the ground and whispered, "Um, I lost U-chan, and I couldn't find her anywhere. Can you help me look for her?"

"Your little unicorn friend?"

She nodded.

He sighed. "Alright, I have some time to kill. You know where you last left it?"

The next couple hours were spent looking for a stuffed animal. More precisely, it was Unicorn who was scurrying around the grass meadow with general concern while the commander followed behind at a much more sedate pace, squinting his eyes in an attempt to not aggravate his headache any further.

Lo and behold, U-chan turned out to be at the very far corner, near the forest's edge, surrounded by multiple colorful butterflies. The butterflies all scattered as Unicorn ran over to collect her beloved plush. It was covered in multiple grass stains, but he figured that the Royal Maids had that aspect covered.

Unicorn came running back clutching her prize, eyes glimmering with the glow of success. "We did it!"

He was sorely tempted to correct her with, "No, you did it," but his headache kept him from doing anything more than a smile which came out as a grimace. Instead, he managed to get out, "Let's head back now." He hoped he wasn't too brusque, but his patience was wearing rather thin.

Unicorn nodded her assent, and held onto his arm sleeve as they slowly made their way back. Along the way, she started to hum a tune to herself, while playing with her unicorn plush. He'd never heard it before, but assumed it was some kind of nursery rhyme that Illustrious sang to her.

It was kinda getting on his nerves, but he didn't have it in his heart to shush her. This whole ordeal reminded him of the time he had to deal with little kids and their idiosyncrasies while tutoring. But Unicorn was a good kid. There was no possible way he could take his temper out on her.

Again, she pulled on his sleeve. "Um, is it okay if I called you big brother?"

He frowned. "Where did that come from?"

"Ouuu, it's okay, that was a weird question to ask. Please pretend you didn't hear anything!" Unicorn reflexively hid her glowing face with her plush.

He wanted to ask more, but his head ached again, right behind the eyes. He winced with the heartbeat.

"Are you okay, Commander?" she asked, concern overtaking her earlier mortification.

"Yeah, yeah. Just a headache. Will probably get better after I get some painkillers and rest."

"Oh no…"

His heart dropped. He didn't like the sound of that. And there was nothing more he wanted to do than to lie down.

"I woke you up when you were trying to sleep and made you help me look for U-chan…" Unicorn's voice slowly diminished quieter and quieter until there were no audible sounds. Just lip movements. She buried herself into her plush again.

"It was no problem," the commander said, lying through his teeth. "I was more than happy to help."

"Really?" she whispered, muffled by the plush.

He couldn't bear looking at Unicorn while saying such blatant lies. "Yeah."

But it seemed that Unicorn was satisfied with that answer, because she stopped talking under her breath.

Relief only came when they finally came across Illustrious, who seemed quite concerned over her missing charge. He didn't even remember what pleasantries he exchanged, but as he stalked off to his room, all he could recall was young Unicorn shouting back "Thank you big brother!"

He only felt good about helping out Unicorn after two tablets and a three hour nap. It didn't even strike him that he didn't stammer even once when talking to Unicorn.

—

Dinner. He was feeling much better, even though all of his mental faculties were still fogged by the consequences of taking a long nap. Instead of throbbing aches, there was only soreness and fatigue. An improvement to be sure, but hardly a return to the norm.

The commander dragged his feet over to the canteen, got his food, and plunked it down at his usual table on autopilot. It was only after he realized that there was a lack of ambient talking he opened his eyes to notice what was wrong.

"Oh," he said. "Hi Kaga. What brings you here?"

Kaga was probably not impressed for the amount of time it took to be addressed directly, but he couldn't tell because she had the same default sloping serious frown. Javelin, Z23, and Ayanami were quiet, picking at their food. Laffey let out a loud snore, turned over, and continued to sleep. Kaga began with, "Commander, there's something that needs your attention."

"Could it wait just a bit?" he asked. "I'm still recovering from this awful migraine I've had for most of today."

Kaga bit the corner of her mouth. "Then when? You're rarely available in your office, that pesky maid always finds an excuse why you're busy. I never see you elsewhere. Where else am I supposed to catch you besides the canteen?"

Bless Belfast. "Just wait for tomorrow. Even if I do hear you out, I probably won't be able to deal with it for the rest of today."

Kaga's face didn't change, but her tails bristled. And so the commander thought that was that. She opened her mouth to say something, but chose instead to take a big bite of her food. He was sorely tempted to poke the stick at the angry fox, but rationality kicked in and he let it be.

Unfortunately, none of the destroyers were able to relax with Kaga's presence. They ate at record speed and quickly said their goodbyes to the commander before vanishing. Javelin had tried to rouse Laffey several times, but she just rolled to her other side and continued to snore softly. She grabbed the commander's arm but her death grip could not be prised. When bothered further, Laffey opened one singular eye and said gravely, "Let me sleep."

They let her sleep, and the three destroyers left.

And so, Kaga, the commander, and a catatonic destroyer were left alone, just as when the crowd in the canteen slowly began to filter out to small isolated groups. The commander looked left and right, then sighed. "I suppose you could tell me now, I guess. No point in enjoying my dinner now."

Kaga paused for a bit. "There's been a rift between Amagi and Akagi."

"So I've heard."

He enjoyed it when Kaga's tails twitched again. It was too easy. "I've come in hopes of you reconciling their differences and returning things as they once were."

He looked at his fingernails. "Not my problem. Akagi specifically told me not to meddle in their affairs."

"So you're okay with leaving things as is?"

He swirled his glass of water, nonchalant. "There's nothing I can do."

Kaga fell silent. The commander couldn't tell what was going through her mind. The only two expressions he ever saw from Kaga were serious and furious. Eventually, she said, "If you still have reservations against me, commander, that's fine. But please do not take out your anger on Akagi and Amagi." She tilted her head forward, in what appeared to be a bow and a deference to authority.

He blinked once, then twice. He didn't know how to handle a situation like this, torn between Kaga's beseechment and Akagi's murky warning. The sight of the proud carrier from the First Division who had previously treated him with disdain made him pause. Should he honor Kaga's request, or vindictively ignore her on the basis of spite? So in this moment of hesitation, there was only one thing he could do.

"I'll see what I can do." He looked away from Kaga when he said that.

Kaga did not smile or otherwise be visibly relieved. She simply bowed again and said, "Thank you, Commander. That's all I ask." She waited until he was finished and they left the canteen together before parting their separate ways: one towards his office, the other to the Sakura dorms. Laffey was still clutched onto his arm and still half-asleep, guided only by her grip on the commander. If he were any stronger, he could've attempted to carry Laffey, but he didn't believe in his strength.

As soon as Kaga was out of earshot, all he could mumble to himself, "What did I just get myself into?"

Theoretically, he could just leave it be. He hadn't promised anything to Kaga, so his conscience would be guilt-free. Plus, Akagi had expressly asked him to keep his nose out of her business. So that was what he was going to do. The kitsune family could take care of themselves, just like they always had before him. If Laffey had an opinion about the whole matter, then she chose not to say it.

But then in front of his office, there was Amagi waiting with her little paper parasol. Expecting him. And Belfast was nowhere in sight to shoo her away.

Apparently, the man in the sky had no intention of letting things lie as is. Resigned to his fate, the commander sighed and approached his certain headache-inducing doom, and let Amagi inside his office with him.

A/N: Cobwebs. New, different ideas. Six pages worth of scrapped material.

I've been reading quite a few novels recently. Pulitzer winning stuff. It's such a deviance from the normal fanfics and light novels I've been reading, it only makes me even more critical of my own stuff. But I figure with the more practice I get, I'll develop the wonderful substance that differentiates immortal novels with infinite readability with one-off young adult fiction which releases dopamine. I'm nowhere close to that level. But unlike all the other fantasies I have, the only difference is that I'm working towards it. So I can call it a goal instead of wasting my time with what I could've and should've been. And I think that mindset has been doing me good. I just hope that it all doesn't fall apart at the first resistance.

Thanks y'all for reading this story, and my asides. Please drop a review if you're able, have a nice summer!