We open to the Broflovski residence where we see Stan and Kyle walking to the front door.
Stan: Dude, what's going on at your house that you're so excited about?
Kyle: You'll see soon dude.
Kyle opened the door and...
There was nothing.
Kyle: Huh?
Stan: What's wrong?
Kyle: Uh, nothing.
Kyle's phone starts ringing.
Kyle answers it.
Kyle: Hello.
Cartman: Dude the party's at my place. Come over ASAP.
Kyle sighed.
Kyle: Why is it at your place?
Cartman: Because I accidentally put the address for my place instead of yours.
Kyle: You actually wanted the party at your place didn't you?
Cartman: That is correct.
Kyle sighed.
Kyle hung up.
Kyle: Come on, we're going to Cartman's house.
Stan: Why?
Kyle: Change of plan.
Stan: Alright, I'm coming.
Suddenly, Stan starts to fade.
Stan: What the?
Stan disappears.
Kyle looks to see that Stan was gone.
Kyle: Stan? Stan? Stan?
McCormick residence.
Kenny was just getting ready for today.
Kenny looks at his clock.
Kenny: Twelve minutes until the party.
Kenny looks at the pile of his nudie mags.
Kenny: Well, one wouldn't hurt.
Kenny grabs a magazine and takes it to bed with him.
Kenny starts to read the magazine.
Suddenly, Kenny starts to fade.
Kenny: What the fuck?
Kenny disappears.
Carol (Kenny's Mom) enters his room.
Carol: Kenny could you-Kenny? Kenny where are you? Great, looks like I'll have to do Spring Cleaning Day all by myself again!
Meanwhile.
Gray residence.
Scott Malkinson was in his girlfriend's bedroom waiting for her to get changed.
Scott: Are you almost done Sophie?
Sophie (In her closet): In a minute Scott.
Scott: The party's in 12 minutes.
Sophie (In her closet): Be a little patient Scott.
Scott: Ok, for you.
Suddenly, Scott gets a text.
Scott: I recently got a text from Eric. He's saying the party is at his place.
Sophie (In her closet): Oh. Is there a reason?
Scott: No not really.
Sophie (In her closet): Ok, I'm ready Scott. Close your eyes.
Scott: Why?
Sophie pokes her head out of the closet.
Sophie: Because I wanna show you my new dress and I want your opinion on it.
Scott: Ok.
Scott covered his eyes.
Scott heard the closet door opening.
Scott: Can I look?
There was no answer.
Scott: Sophie? Babe? Are you there? Sophie?
Scott opened his eyes and realised that Sophie was gone.
Scott: Sophie? Honey? Sophie?
Suddenly, Scott started to fade.
Scott: What is happening? Is it the rapture?!
Scott noticed a flash appear all over his body.
Scott: I know those flashes.
Scott disappears.
Later.
Stan wakes up and realised he was in a cell.
Stan: What the hell?
Voice: Don't move.
Stan: Why?
Voice: Uh...you'll set off lasers.
Another voice: Griff, give me that. You're too lazy to sound intimidating.
Stan: Wait a minute, that voice. I've heard your voice before.
Another voice: Yes, we have in our last Imaginationland story. By the way, glad you got rid of that shirt. It was so awful that I was thinking of resurrecting Joan Rivers.
Stan: Where are you?
Another voice: About to make big, epic, Captain Jack style entrance in three...two...one.
And from out of the blue, Deadpool appeared in the room.
Deadpool: You missed me right?
Stan: Deadpool? Where am I? Am I in prison?
Deadpool: Uh no, you and your friends were knocked out cold on arrival. So we had to put you in a cell so you could rest. Because the captain had to employ a lazy ass.
Griff (Voice): Hey, I'm new to this.
Deadpool: There's an instruction manual underneath the controls, dingus!
Stan: I'm sorry, friends? We?
Deadpool: Oh yeah. I'll show you. But first, I wanna make a grand entrance to your friends. Butters is next.
Stan: How are we getting out? The cell looks locked.
Deadpool: Not to worry. Just hold on to me.
Stan holds on to Deadpool's leg.
Deadpool: Teleportation belt, go!
Deadpool and Stan disappear from the cell.
Later.
They end up in a different cell.
Inside that cell was Kenny.
Stan: Kenny?
Deadpool: Kenny?
Kenny: Hey Stan. What's up? And is that Ryan Reynolds?
Deadpool: Does this face look like Ryan Reynolds?
Deadpool removes his mask to reveal his disfigures face to Kenny.
Deadpool: Boo!
Kenny: Yeah.
Deadpool: I am not Ryan Reynolds, I am Deadpool.
Kenny: Where am I?
Deadpool: You're not Butters.
Kenny: Yeah, no kidding.
Stan: What is going on?
Deadpool: Could you two hold on to me?
Stan and Kenny hold on to Deadpool.
Deadpool pushes his teleportation belt and than the three disappear.
Later.
They end up in another cell.
Sophie was the one who was residing in it.
She was wearing a red dress.
Sophie: Hey guys.
Stan and Kenny: Hey Sophie.
Deadpool: That isn't Wendy. Right! Hold on to me again! I hope Griff got the fat kid.
Sophie held on to Deadpool.
Sophie: Is that Deadpool? And do you have any insulin? I'm kind of high.
Deadpool: No I'm Deathstroke. We get confused with each other all the time. And oh shit!
Deadpool pushes his teleportation belt and the four disappear.
Later.
The four arrive in another cell.
Stan: I think I'm gonna be sick.
Sophie looked a little dizzy.
Sophie: I think I'm gonna have a diabetic attack.
Kenny: I think I'm not gonna get the chance to masturbate today.
Deadpool: I think I'm gonna kill somebody if that isn't Eric Cartman.
Scott: Actually, it's Scott Malkinson.
Deadpool: Fuck!
Sophie let go of Deadpool.
Sophie started to approach Scott.
Sophie: Scott.
Scott: Sophie, wow that dress looks ama-
Sophie collapsed.
Scott: Sophie?
Deadpool: She did say she was high.
Scott: Oh shit!
Scott pulled some insulin from his pocket and injected Sophie with it.
Sophie woke up breathing heavily.
Scott: Sophie?
Sophie: Thanks Scott. Where are we?
Deadpool: I'm about to take you there.
Scott: Deadpool?
Deadpool: That's my name and it's gonna be timeless. Just hold on to me.
Scott and Sophie grab ahold of Deadpool.
Stan: Ok, go easy on me because the last time y-
Deadpool pushed his teleportation device and they all disappeared.
Later.
They landed on what looked like to be the bridge of the Starship Enterprise.
Stan grabbed ahold of his stomach.
Stan: Oh no.
Scott: Are you Ok St-
Suddenly, Stan threw up on Scott.
Kenny and Deadpool laughed.
Scott: Ah sick!
Stan: Oh jeez Scott, I'm sorry.
Sophie: Uh Deadpool, you got some throw up on your boot.
Deadpool looked at his boot.
Deadpool: Ah shit! The Doctor told me that stomach of yours would've calmed down by now.
Stan: I'm sorry.
Stan started to marvel at the place.
Stan: This is the Enterprise. From Star Trek.
Deadpool: I should really change my suit to grey.
Kenny: Why?
Deadpool: Well I'm wearing red and when you wear red in Star Trek your chances of surviving are 50/50.
Sophie: Oh my God! This is incredible, I love Star Trek.
Stan: No way, same.
Sophie: So than, we were teleported by Scotty? Right?
Griff from Red Vs Blue enters the bridge.
Griff: Not exactly.
Scott: Holy Christ! It's Master Chief.
Griff: No. My name is Dexter Griff.
Deadpool: Griff, a word.
Griff: What?
Deadpool points at the four.
Griff: What?
Deadpool: Look at the children.
Griff: You said get four children from South Park.
Deadpool: Did you read the South Park encyclopaedia?
Griff: Yes.
Deadpool: Where's Butters, Wendy and Cartman? The captain ordered you to get those three as well!
Griff: They're not the others right?
Deadpool: Fuck you Griff you lazy orange fuck. No wonder Sarge hates you.
Lana from Archer enters the bridge.
Lana: Lana Kane reporting to-why is there vomit on the floor?
Deadpool: Lana, it's the kid's fault.
Lana: The captain's gonna be pissed.
Stan: Listen, Lana I'm sorry.
Lana: Look it's ok. I can't go hard on the boy who saved the Earth.
Scott: What?
Sophie: You saved Earth?
Stan: Yeah, that one time.
Kenny: Where was I?
Stan: You got killed in the attack.
Kenny: Oh shit.
Deadpool: In case you readers aren't getting this, than read Imaginationland 2: Welcome To The Real World by Walter Bryan Cranston White.
Lana: You better stand aside, the captain's coming.
Stan: Who's the captain? Picard? He's my favourite captain.
Sophie: No way, mine too.
Stan: Really?
Sophie: Yeah. I prefer The Next Generation over the original series.
Stan: Oh my God! Same.
Sophie: Wow.
Scott was staring at the two with worry in his eyes.
Lana: Stand aside, the captain likes to make an entrance.
Deadpool: Oh yeah sorry.
They all moved aside to make way for the captain.
The doors open and the captain was Captain James T. Kirk (William Shatner version) and alongside him were Ashoka Tano from Star Wars and Batman from How It Should Have Ended.
While walking Kirk suddenly slipped on Stan's vomit.
Griff laughed.
Kirk: Laugh all you want Griff, you're gonna be the one cleaning it.
Griff: Why can't Batman do it?
Batman: I'm not doing it.
Griff: Why?
Batman: It's because I'm Batman!
Stan and Sophie were both awe struck on seeing Kirk.
Scott: Uh Sophie.
Kirk approached Stan.
Kirk: Stan Marsh, I am honoured to meeting you at last.
Stan: And I'm honoured on meeting you.
Kirk: Splendid. Wendy Testaburger, I see you've dyed your hair and had an outfit change.
Sophie: I'm not Wendy.
Kirk: You're not?
Ashoka: Three out of the four are not who you think they are.
Kirk: Griff I told you to pick up Eric Cartman, Wendy Testaburger and Leopold Stotch.
Griff: They looked alike.
Lana: How do they look alike?
Sophie: Where are we Captain Kirk?
Kirk: Well with you being a Trekkie since I heard you think Picard is better than me.
Kirk cringed.
Kirk: You would've figured out we're on the Enterprise.
Stan: No I think it was more of "Where are we?"
Kirk: Oh, how rude of me. Deadpool open the metal things that block out the windows when we activate the defences.
Deadpool squealed.
Deadpool looked at the camera.
Deadpool: I'm squealing because I got an order from Captain Kirk.
Deadpool presses some buttons and than the view screen turned itself on revealing, space.
Stan, Scott, Sophie and Kenny were marvelling at the sight.
Sophie: I can see Hoth.
Scott: Is that Krypton?
Kenny: Holy shit! I can see Cybertron.
Stan: If we're in space with all these fictional planets, than we're in Imaginationland.
Kirk: We are far from Imaginationland. We're in space or since you're in the Imaginationland universe, Imaginationspace.
Everyone glares at Kirk.
Sophie: I'm not gonna lie, that's a very dumb name.
Kirk: It was the only thing we could come up with.
Deadpool: Mainly because we couldn't find a more creative name that combines space and Imaginationland.
Kenny: Hey, is that bright building over there Heaven?
Ashoka: No, that's just a space station that got cleaned really well. And it caused some of the residents who got too close to it to go blind. Last time we rely on Abracadaniel to clean up a space station.
Kirk: Right enough chit chat, you, kid who threw up on the floor.
Kirk points to Scott.
Scott: Me?
Kirk: Yes you, your shirt is covered in vomit.
Scott: Please don't make me clean it up Kirk.
Kirk: You won't because you just got here. Griff will be doing the job.
Griff: Aww!
Kirk: Batman, will you accompany Scott to the changing room and get him suited?
Batman: Yes captain. I'll fit him with the new bat suit.
Kirk: No, just dress him up in one of our Federation uniforms.
Batman: But I-
Kirk: No buts Batman just do. Speaking of uniform, I better get changed as well. Once we're all done, meet us back on the bridge for a briefing.
Kirk starts walking out of the bridge and slips on the vomit again.
Kirk: Griff!
Griff sighed.
Griff: I'll get the mop.
Later.
Scott and Batman return to the bridge.
Batman: Ok, I got him dressed. And definitely not in my bat suit.
Scott is wearing a blue shirt.
Scott: Thank God I'm wearing blue.
Scott notices Stan and Sophie chatting.
Stan: Yeah, first Star Trek related thing I watched was The Next Generation.
Sophie: Oh my God same!
Scott approached Stan and Sophie.
Scott: Hey guys.
Sophie: Oh, hey Scott. Nice outfit.
Scott: Thanks Sophie.
Sophie: Come join me and Stan, we're just discussing about Star Trek: The Next Generation.
Stan: Yeah. Scott, you didn't tell me your girlfriend was a Trekkie.
Scott: That's because you never listen.
Sophie: Well, you coming to chat with us about Star Trek.
Scott: I'm sorry Sophie, I never got into Star Trek.
Sophie: Oh. That's a shame.
Deadpool: Are we discussing Star Trek? Which one are we discussing? Original Series? I prefer that over The Next Generation.
Sophie: Ok, looks like me and Stan are about to get into a debate on which series is better.
Stan: I think The Next Generation is better be-
Deadpool: It's not corny enough.
While the debate continued, Scott sighed and walked away.
Scott sat on a seat and sighed
Batman approached Scott.
Batman: Hey, wassup?
Scott: Nothing.
Batman took a sip of coffee.
Batman: There is totally something wrong with you, I know because...do you wanna know why?
Scott: It's because you're the world's greatest detecti-
Batman: But it's because I'm Batman.
Scott sighed.
Scott: It's just because my girlfriend, Sophie and Stan are hitting it off really well due to the fact that they seem to have a love for Star Trek.
Batman: So?
Scott: I'm just scared he might take her away from me and make her his second girlfriend.
Batman: How can you handle two girlfriends? Oh wait, I can. Because I'm-
Scott: Batman.
Batman: That is correct.
Scott: Do you have any advice on how I can win Sophie back to me?
Batman sighed.
Batman: Oh right. Time to give this little guy tips on picking up ladies. Scott I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told my son when it comes to girls. Walk up to them and say "Hey, you wanna know my secret identity?"
Scott: How does that work? Everyone knows who Scott Malkinson is.
Batman: Trust me, it works every time. Here I'll demonstrate.
Lana enters the bridge.
Batman: Hey, you wanna know my-
Lana kicks Batman in the balls.
Lana: Nope.
Lana walks past Batman.
Batman starts holding onto his balls.
Batman: Come on, everyone wants to know my secret identity.
Scott: I have to say Batman, it's terrible dating advice.
Batman: Trust me, it works 45% of the time.
Lana: Alright everyone look sharp, Captain is coming on deck.
Everyone stops talking.
Kirk, Ashoka and Griff enter through the automatic door.
Kirk: It's time for a brief-
Suddenly, Ashoka slipped on the vomit.
Kirk sighed in annoyance.
Kirk: Griff.
Griff: I couldn't find the mop.
Kirk: Clean it up as soon as you can.
Kirk took a seat on his chair which was placed at the front as usual.
Kirk: Now, for our new members let's do a run down. A few weeks ago, 10 of the most villainous monsters from Imaginationland escaped the wall. They are now somewhere in space, possibly on a desolate planet.
Sophie: Who are the villains?
Kirk: Lana, will you do the honour?
Lana pushes a button and it turns on a film projector, switches out the lights and causes the view screen to black out.
The projector projected itself on to the blacked out view screen.
The first one to show up was Bane (Tom Hardy).
Batman: Bane. The one man who could break me. I meant physically not mentally. He is very dangerous and is very, very strong. But not as strong as me. Because I'm Batman.
The next one showed up on screen and it was Jaws (James Bond).
Scott: Jaws. He's quite a big scary guy. He may look big and dangerous, but its the teeth that makes him even more terrifying.
The next one showed up on screen and it was Darth Maul.
Ashoka: Darth Maul. A ruthless and dangerous Sith Lord; killed allot of Jedi in his time. But he lost to Obi Wan despite him using the Jedi and Sith's best known weapon: the high ground.
The next one showed up on screen and it was Bellatrix Lestrange.
Sophie: Bellatrix Lestrange AKA Voldemort's bitch. She is insane and allot of people seem to ship those two.
The next one showed up on screen and it was Barry Dillon (Archer)
Lana: Barry Dillon. Oh if I had a nickel every time he tried to kill Archer. He may look like a human being on the outside but inside he's like the 6 million dollar ass.
The next one showed up on screen and it was Rabbity from The Woodland Critters.
Stan: Rabbity. Allot of you might not know this one but Cartman once wrote a book which had me as the main character of the story. Rabbity is a member of The Woodland Critters. They're bad news because they're satanists.
The next one showed up on screen and it was the Meta (Red Vs Blue)
Griff: The Meta, never thought I'd see that fella again. He's scary and strong and that's all you need to know about him.
The next one showed up on screen and it was The Witch King from The Lord of The Rings.
Kenny: The Witch King. An agent of Sauron. He's quite a dangerous match especially with that dragon of his.
The next one showed up on the screen and it was Ajax (Deadpool)
Deadpool: Francis. The fuck stick who created this face that my girlfriend somehow finds attractive.
The next one showed up on screen and it was Khan.
Kirk: Khan Noonien Singh. An augmented human being I encountered. He has a stronger physical strength then the average human. That will be all.
The lights turn on and Lana turns off the projector.
Kirk: What do we think?
Lana: What if this is a villain team up?
Griff: And Khan is leading them?
Ashoka: Why would it be a villain team up? Stan convinced all the villains that villains teaming up was comepletly pointless because they'd all betray each other.
Deadpool: Great point Ashoka, except the title is called The Wrath of Khan.
Stan: Yeah I did.
Sophie: Whoah. Did they actually believe what you said?
Stan: Yeah, somehow.
Sophie: Wow.
Scott rolled his eyes.
Kirk: Than there's one thing we have to do, Ashoka, see if you can get a force link with Darth Maul.
Ashoka: Yes sir.
Ashoka was about to exit the bridge, but she slips over the vomit that was still on the floor.
Kirk: And Griff will you try and find that mop?
Griff: Yes captain.
Kirk: Honeslty, that vomit might break somebody's neck.
Stan: What about the rest of us captain?
Kirk looked at his watch.
Kirk: While the rest of us go to the cafeteria, it's lunchtime.
Later in the cafeteria.
Scott is seen carrying a tray of food and is walking to sit with Sophie.
But he discovered that she was still talking with Stan.
Stan: ...I wasn't really a fan of the Khan reveal in Into Darkness. They were hiding it from us even though we knew Benedict Cumberbatch was playing Khan.
Sophie: Yeah, I kind of knew Benedict Cumberbatch was playing Khan as well. And the reveal did suck.
Stan: I didn't know we had so much in common.
Sophie: Me neither. I just hope Scott isn't taking this the wrong way.
Meanwhile with Scott.
Scott was sitting by the cafeteria table with Deadpool; who was now wearing grey.
Scott: Am I gonna lose Sophie?
Deadpool: What?
Scott: Why are you wearing grey?
Deadpool: Uh, I was wearing red. I told you, wearing red in Star Trek gives you a 50% chance of survival. Anyway, you look down. Is there something wrong?
Scott: Look at them over there.
Deadpool: What? Kirk and Batman talking?
At Kiel's table.
Kirk: The best way to get a woman to sleep with you is to be as charming as Shatner, not charming like Batman.
Batman: But how do you do it though?
Kirk: It just happens. My next alien I plan to sleep with is a Xenomorph. Remind me to wear the Xenomorph protection.
Batman: I'm not gonna be taking advice from you.
Back at Scott's table.
Scott: Not Kirk and Batman, I meant Stan and my girlfriend.
Deadpool: You mean the red head?
Scott: Yeah.
Deadpool: I thought guys like you don't get the chance to get girlfriends.
Scott: What do you mean guys like me?
Deadpool: You have a lisp.
Scott: Well I got her. at least for now. It's strange because he's already got a girlfriend. Unless he wants a second one.
Deadpool: No, nobody should have a second girlfriend. Did that once, threesome wasn't as erotic as I thought it was gonna be. Listen Scott, she might just wants to be friends with that boy. She loves you very deeply and you love her very deeply. Why would you think she'd leave you?
Scott: Because they both share a love of Star Trek.
Deadpool: Ok, then she might want to leave you if she finds somebody she has allot in common with.
Scott: Well I guess people like Star Trek, so I shouldn't budge.
Scott looked over to see Stan and Sophie getting along well.
Sophie: I didn't know you hated the President as much as I did.
Stan: Sad thing is, he used to be my teacher.
Sophie: Shut the front door! Garrison was your teacher?!
Stan: Yeah.
Sophie: Oh my God!
Scott: Goddamnit!
Deadpool: They hate the President as well. Everyone hates him, yet there are people who like him as well.
Deadpool looks at the camera.
Deadpool: Hey, vote for Bernie make him for President. Because if Trump's ass is still on that seat and causes a war with Iran, it's your fault because you voted for Trump.
Deadpool puts his focus back on Scott.
Deadpool: She is definitely gonna leave you for a guy who has allot in common with. It happens.
Scott pressed his face against his arms.
Deadpool: If you wanna get into her pants than you need...
Deadpool pulls a very big book out from underneath the table.
Deadpool: ...Than you need the Star Trek encyclopaedia.
Scott: I can't read all that. What if Sophie's with Stan by the time I'm done?
Deadpool: Then you need...
Deadpool hands Scott a pill.
Scott: A pill?
Deadpool: The pill from Limitless. Use that and you'll have all the time in the world to do everything.
Ashoka enters the cafeteria.
Ashoka: Kirk, I found Maul.
Kirk stops eating his food.
Kirk: Where is he?
Ashoka: Ceti Alpha V.
Kirk: To the bridge of the Enterprise.
The scene transitions Batman (1966) style but instead of the bat symbol, it's the federation symbol.
The bridge.
The Enterprise had just made it to Ceti Alpha V.
Kirk: Ceti Alpha V, why would he hide there?
Sophie: Maybe Khan marooned him.
Kirk: Possibility.
Lana enters the bridge.
Lana: Who's gonna be-
Suddenly, Lana slipped on the vomit.
Lana: Griff!
Griff: I couldn't find the mop.
Kirk sighed.
Kirk: Since we're dealing with Darth Maul then I suggest Ashoka, Kenny and Disposable Red Shirt #4, you go down.
Disposable Red Shirt #4: I have a name and you'll never know because I'm gonna be dead.
Kirk: Quit complaining. Griff, beam them down.
Griff: Yes sir.
Griff leads the three out of the bridge.
Stan and Sophie were discussing some more Star Trek.
Stan: Yeah, I personally think The Borg are the greatest Star Trek villains.
Sophie: No, way so do I.
Stan: Jesus. That's something else we have in common.
Stan looks over Sophie and noticed Scott reading the Star Trek Encyclopaedia.
Stan: What is Scott doing?
Deadpool: Reading through the Star Trek encyclopaedia like a champ.
Sophie: Aww, he feels left out.
Sophie uses her glucose metre to check her blood sugar.
Sophie: Hey Scott, do you h-
Suddenly, Scott throws her some insulin.
Sophie: Thanks honey.
Sophie injects herself with the insulin.
Meanwhile.
Griff leads the Ashoka, Kenny and Disposable Red Shirt #4 to the teleportation pad.
The three were wearing protective gear since the planet is a desert planet and a sandstorm would be likely on that planet.
Griff: Ok, the planet has plenty of oxygen so you'll be ok.
Disposable Red Shirt #4: What if it doesn't?
Griff: Trust me I did my research.
Disposable Red Shirt #4: You read through three pages, but you just fell asleep on the toilet.
Griff: I did read th-Wait, how did you know I fell asleep on the toilet?
Ashoka, Kenny and Disposable Red Shirt #4 stood on the pads.
Griff: Ok, energise.
Ashoka, Kenny and Disposable Red Shirt #4 disappeared.
Griff: While I wait, I'll go and find that mop.
Ceti Alpha V's surface.
Ashoka, Kenny and Disposable Red Shirt #4 appeared on the planet.
It was a desert planet so there was a sandstorm.
Kenny: Is he here?
Ashoka presses her fingers against her head.
Ashoka: The Force is telling me he's in that rundown base. Set your phasers for stun, he might have useful information.
Kenny and the Red Shirt set their phasers to stun.
They start to make their way to the rundown building.
Disposable Red Shirt #4: But what if he uses his lightsaber to deflect our blasts?
Kenny: Shut up!
Disposable Red Shirt #4: I'm thinking more logical here. We might die, except for her. She's survived Order 66, so I think she can survive Darth Maul.
They enter the rundown base.
The rundown base was very empty, the walls were metal and the only thing that was on the floor, was sand.
Ashoka: Red Shirt, guard the door in case they try and leave.
Disposable Red Shirt #4: There's no fitted windows, they can jump through them!
Kenny: Really? You think a big guy like Jaws is gonna manage to sneak his way out from here?
Disposable Red Shirt #4: He might! You don't know!
Ashoka: Keep it down, he might hear us.
Disposable Red Shirt #4: I can't, I have panic attacks!
The Red Shirt started panicking.
Ashoka: Kenny please hit him.
Kenny walks up to the Red Shirt and punches him in the balls.
Disposable Red Shirt #4: You could've hit a little higher. But I do feel better now despite me being in-
Suddenly, the Red Shirt gets stabbed in the back with a red lightsaber.
Ashoka: Red Shirt!
Disposable Red Shirt #4: I told my wife, it would be a bad day wearing red.
The person who stabbed the red shot was Darth Maul.
Ashoka ignites her lightsabers.
Kenny points the phaser at Darth Maul.
Darth Maul: Ashoka Tano.
Ashoka: Maul, it's been a while.
Darth Maul: Too long.
Kenny: You bastard, that Red Shirt had a wife and I only just realised it.
Darth Maul chuckled.
Darth Maul: Poor, poor wife.
Ashoka: I won't let you get away with it Maul.
Darth Maul chuckled.
Darth Maul: No, I will.
Ashoka: Ha, there's two of us and one of you.
Darth Maul: Oh Ashoka.
Darth Maul switches off his lightsaber.
Darth Maul: You should've been counting allot better.
Ashoka: Huh?
Ashoka turns around and realised there were 9 hooded figures.
A big one grabbed Ashoka causing her to drop her lightsabers.
Kenny tried to run away, but Darth Maul used his force powers to life Kenny up in the air.
Darth Maul forced pushes Kenny against the wall.
Darth Maul: Stay.
One of the hooded figures approached Ashoka and removed the hood, revealing himself to be Khan.
Ashoka: Khan.
Khan: Hello. Ashoka was it?
Khan starts to caress her face.
Khan: What's a pretty girl like you doing on a place like this?
Ashoka: I will never talk.
Khan grabbed Ashoka by the neck.
Khan: How about now?
Ashoka: You can't kill me, you need that information.
Khan: Your right, I can't. How about I have Maul kill the little boy?
Darth Maul: No boss.
Khan: And why not Maul?
Darth Maul: Because I sense something peculiar about him. He has died countless of times. And every time he dies, he comes back to life.
Khan smiled.
Khan: An immortal.
Khan let go of Ashoka.
Khan: The rest of you, do what you want.
The rest of them removed their hoods to reveal The Witch King, Bane, Rabbity the rabbit, Ajax, Bellatrix Lestrange, Barry, Jaws and the Meta.
Jaws picked up the lightsabers and crushed them with his bare hands.
Ajax: Smart thinking.
Bellatrix: How about some good old torture?
Ashoka force pushed Bellatrix to a wall.
Bellatrix: Oh, pretty lady bites. Do you wanna know who else bites?
Jaws grabs Ashoka by the neck and smiles showing her his metallic teeth.
Ashoka: I hope you brush.
Khan approached Kenny.
Khan: Maul, drop him.
Darth Maul: As you wish.
Maul dropped Kenny to the floor.
Khan: Hello there. Now, I'm gonna ask a few questions if none are answered then my good friend Jaws will bite down onto her neck.
Ashoka: He will never talk.
Ashoka was about to use her force power but Bane grabbed ahold of her arms.
Bane: That will be quite unnecessary.
Khan: Listen little boy, Jaws will kill her if I don't get my information, where did you come from? And who sent you?
Kenny: I came from South Park.
Darth Maul: He does come from South Park, I sense his feelings about his hometown. Feelings of anger, annoyance and a devotion to his...sister.
Khan smiled.
Khan: What do you think we should do to this little boy's sister if he doesn't tell us who sent him?
Rabbity: I say we tear out her eyeballs, pee in the holes and than poop in her mouth. Yay!!!!
Barry: Oh Jesus Christ. That is messed up, I am not doing that.
Bane: That sounds extremely painful.
Jaws: I'm not killing a child.
The Witch King: No man should have the heart to kill a child.
Meta: (Growls).
Ajax: I get we're evil, but nobody should go that far and hurt a child.
Bellatrix: Can I torture the child? Can I? Can I?
Khan: The only child we're gonna be torturing is this one, because when he dies I get to kill him again.
Kenny: Alright! Yo Mama sent us!
Khan started to choke Kenny.
Darth Maul: Master, what about the Red Shirt?
Khan lets go of Kenny and approaches the Red Shirt.
Khan starts to examine the corpse, he noticed something that made him smile.
The federation badge.
Khan: Kirk. I know it's him.
Khan does a sinister smile.
Khan: Hold them two still.
Darth Maul starts to force choke Kenny.
Khan: Ajax, get the worms.
Ajax: Yes sir.
Ajax walks out of the location to retrieve the worms.
Barry: Oh no, I hate these.
Barry turns around to not stare at the sight.
Ajax returns with the worms.
Jaws and Bane hold Ashoka down while Maul held Kenny down.
Ashoka: What are you doing?
Khan: You're gonna be doing something you will never remember.
Khan puts the worms inside Ashoka's and Kenny's ear.
Ashoka and Kenny screamed in pain as the worms wriggled inside their ears.
Khan smiled.
And in about a minute, Ashoka and Kenny were knocked out.
Khan: My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings; Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
Barry: Why are you quoting poetry?
Khan: Because I am.
Bane: That seems kind of unnecessary.
Khan: They are my works and once Kirk sees them, he will despair. Bane, Barry, Jaws and Meta.
Bane: Yes.
Barry: Yeah.
Jaws: Huh?
Meta: (Growls).
Khan: Have you ever read The Most Dangerous Game by Richard Connell? A tale of the powerful hunting the not so powerful for sport.
Back on the Enterprise.
Scott was in Deadpool's room still reading the Encyclopaedia.
Deadpool enters his room.
Deadpool: Hey, you almost finished.
Scott: Yeah, I am. It's amazing how I'm through 3000 pages in 2 hours.
Deadpool: Thanks to the power of the pill from Limitless.
Scott: Yeah. And thanks to the power of the pill from Limitless, I've been doing allot of things. Sit ups, push ups and hopping 300 times all while reading this encyclopaedia.
Deadpool: Oh nice. Working out just to get the girl to drool, nice job.
Meanwhile.
Stan and Sophie enter Kirk's bedroom.
Stan: Kirk? Kirk?
Sophie: Wow! They're even stupid enough to leave their rooms unlocked.
Stan: Yeah. Hey look at that picture of Picard.
On the wall, there's a picture of Captain Picard.
But the photo had tiny little holes hinting that Kirk was hitting the picture with throwing darts.
Sophie: He must really hate Picard.
Stan: Yeah. Look over there, there's a Tribble box with a Tribble inside.
Sophie: Aww, look at it. Shall we open it?
Stan: Well there was an episode called the trouble with Tribbles so I don't think it's safe.
Sophie: Right.
They walk to Kirk's closet.
Sophie: I wonder what's in there?
Stan: Ladies first.
Sophie smiled at the gesture.
Sophie opened the closet door.
Sophie starts to sweat.
Sophie: Why is his closet so hot?
Stan: I don't know. Hey, some federation uniforms. I always wanted to try some on for myself.
Outside the room, Scott was making his way to the room to try and impress Sophie with his knowledge of Star Trek.
Scott: I can't wait to show that no good son of a bitch I know shit about Star Trek.
Scott was about to open the door until...
Sophie (Muffled): I don't know Stan it looks pretty big. I don't know if you're gonna get in there.
Stan (Muffled): Relax Sophie, it'll fit.
Scott was standing in shock and horror.
Scott: No.
Inside the room.
Stan was trying on a red federation shirt.
Stan: I don't know why people seem to have a problem wearing these, they're actually comfortable.
Sophie: Stan, it's too big. It doesn't fit.
Stan: Alright, I'll do it.
Sophie finds a bottle of what appears to be soap.
Sophie: What's this little thing here?
Sophie squirts it on her hand and realised it wasn't soap, it was lube.
Sophie: Eww, eww.
Sophie starts to wipe the lube on her dress leaving some marks.
Sophie: My dress.
Stan: Oh Jesus. I don't think we should've done that.
Stan takes off the shirt and tries to wipe the lube off of Sophie's dress.
Scott bursts into the room.
Scott was shocked to see Stan with his shirt off and Sophie's dress was covered in white stuff and so was her hand and one of the straps of her dress was down.
Scott: Sophie, how could you?
Sophie: Scott, it's not what it looks like.
Scott: Sophie. Why? Why did you do this?
Stan: Listen Scott-
Scott: Shut up girlfriend stealer!
Stan: Scott, you know I have a girlfriend.
Scott: How would you like it if she gave me a handjob?
Stan: We swear Scott, there was no hand job.
Scott: I don't believe you for one minute!
Scott sighed.
Scott: So this is it Sophie?
Sophie: What do you mean Scott?
Scott: You've had feelings for Stan all along? You could've just told me and I would allow you to be happy.
Sophie: Scott, don't.
Scott: Sophie, if this is how it ends, then...Fuck you!!!!!
Scott runs out of the room with tears in his eyes.
Sophie ran out of the room.
Sophie: Scott!
Stan soon followed.
Stan: Sophie this-
Sophie: This was your fault. If we didn't go into that room then none of this would've happened!
Stan: Uh Sophie-
Sophie: You should've realised your mistake, but no I wanted to go into Kirk's room and look around! And now we look like we just did something dirty in there!
Lana was standing behind them.
Lana: I hope I'm not interrupting anything.
Later.
The bridge.
Kirk was in his chair, watching the viewscreen.
While Scott was sitting with Lana.
Stan was sitting on his own feeling guilty about earlier.
Batman was standing beside Kirk.
Batman: Anything?
Kirk: Nothing yet.
Sophie enters the bridge.
Sophie: Hey guys.
Sophie was now wearing a yellow federation shirt and some black pants to replace her ruined dress.
Kirk: Hey Sophie. Hey, good choice.
Sophie: Thanks.
Sophie approached Scott.
Sophie: Scott I-
Scott: I thought I dumped you.
Sophie: I know. Scott I wanna explain-
Scott: Explain what?! The fact the prettiest and nicest girl I've ever met is now fucking the most depressing person I've ever met.
Sophie: Scott, there was nothing between me and Stan.
Scott: There was! I heard it!
Sophie: Scott, I know it sounded very dirty in there but I swear, it wasn't.
Scott: Just fuck off Sophie.
Sophie sighed.
Sophie went to sit on her own.
Lana (Whispering To Stan): You fucked up big time.
Stan: I know.
Lana: I hope you find a way to fix their relationship.
Stan: I don't think Scott will talk to me.
Lana: I know your a kid, but if you don't fix the diabetic couple's relationship than I will throw you out to the cold reaches of space.
Stan sighed.
Stan: I'll try.
Deadpool enters the bridge and accidentally slips on the vomit.
Deadpool: Griff!
No answer.
Deadpool: Griff! Griff!
Deadpool gets up.
Deadpool: Oh fuck it.
Deadpool noticed Sophie looking down.
Deadpool: Hey Sophie, why the long face?
Sophie: I don't wanna talk about it.
Deadpool: Sophie, not talking about the it only makes the it so much worse. Tell your uncle Deadpool.
Sophie sighed.
Sophie: Ok.
Sophie starts whispering in Deadpool's ear.
Deadpool: Wow...Oh shit...Jesus...Tribbles?
Sophie stops whispering in Deadpool's ear.
Deadpool: Oh boy. That sounds like lazy writing.
Sophie: Yeah.
Deadpool: Talk to Scott.
Sophie: I can't, he doesn't wanna talk to me.
Deadpool: Oh that's bad. Listen Sophie, how about I talk to him at some point? Because if he won't listen to you, then he will listen to his favourite Marvel character.
Sophie: His favourite Marvel character is Spider Man.
Deadpool: Well everybody likes Spider Man. I love him, but he hates me for some reason.
Sophie: I don't know.
Deadpool: Maybe it's because I might've been inspired by a few...Uh...features for my costume.
Ashoka and Kenny entered the bridge, each holding a canister.
Kirk: Ashoka, Kenny, was the mission successful?
Ashoka: No sign of Maul or any of the other criminals.
Kirk: Dammit. Did you bring anything?
Ashoka: Me and Kenny got some cannisters that look like belong to Bane.
Kirk: Right.
Kenny: And I got some adamantium katanas for Deadpool.
Deadpool: Did somebody say adamantium katanas?
Kenny: Yes, they're in your room.
Deadpool: Fuck yeah. Wolvie's gonna be so jelly.
Kirk: You two look like you went through hell to get these, I think you deserve some rest. Go on.
Ashoka: Thank you Kirk.
Ashoka and Kenny exit the bridge.
Kirk: Well, now we're going to Dathomier to see if Maul is hiding-
Batman: Kirk, I got a transmission.
Kirk: A transmission?
Batman: Yeah.
Kirk: Put it on the screen.
Batman pushes a button and on the screen was Catwoman dressed very seductively.
Catwoman: Hey Brucey boy.
Kirk glares at Batman.
Batman: Sorry, that was for me.
Batman turns off the transmission and puts the actual one up on the screen.
On the screen was Khan.
Khan: Hello Kirk.
Kirk: Khan.
Deadpool: KHAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!
Everyone stares at Deadpool.
Deadpool: I'm sorry, it's so fun to scream it.
Kirk: What do you want Khan?
Deadpool: KHAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!! Sorry, just so fun to say.
Khan: I'm glad you asked Kirk, I'm on Ceti Alpha V, waiting for you.
Kirk: Why me?
Khan: I want us to finish what we started when we first met, before you marooned me on a dead planet. A fight to the death.
Kirk: You listen here Khan-
Deadpool: KHAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!
Kirk: Knock it off! Alright Khan-
Deadpool: KHAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!
Kirk sighed.
Kirk: I'm coming down on your little planet for our confrontation.
Stan: Kirk, it's a trap.
Khan: And how do you know that?
Stan: Because I know you Khan-
Deadpool: KHAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!
Batman: Bat dart.
Batman uses a dart shooter to hit Deadpool with a bat dart.
Deadpool: Ow!
Deadpool collapses.
Khan: He was getting on my nerves and how do you know that, little boy.
Stan: Because you're planning to maroon Kirk on the planet, you think your smarter. But I've seen Star Trek 2 a million times and I know what you're up to.
Khan: Oh, do you now?
Stan: Yes Khan.
Bellatrix shows up on screen.
Bellatrix: KHAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!
Khan: Bella! Don't.
Bellatrix: But they're right, it is so much fun to say.
Bellatrix did a sinister smile.
Stan: I know it's a trick because I'm smart.
Scott: And a girlfriend stealer!
Stan: Scott, it's Khan so-
Rabbity shows up on the screen.
Rabbity: KHAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!
Khan: Can everyone stop yelling my name?! I don't want any delays, Kirk. Meet me on Ceti Alpha V in five minutes or your ship is doomed.
The screen turns off.
Kirk: Alright, he wants me. I'm not gonna fall for that trick. Stan, Sophie, Scott, Deadpool, Batman and Lana you're coming with me. While the rest stay here just in case it is actually a trick.
Scott: Captain, I don't wanna be on a team with an ex and a girlfriend stealer.
Sophie looks at the floor in shame.
Kirk: Scott, are you trying to disobey a direct order?
Scott: It's more of a complaint.
Kirk: I get you come from the real world but this is my Starship and these are my rules. Either you follow them or you're gonna be the one cleaning that vomit GRIFF SEEMS TO REFUSE TO CLEAN!
Griff pokes his head out from the janitor's closet.
Griff: I'm still trying to find the mop. It's not my fault this ship is ginormous.
Kirk: It's the Starship Enterprise not the TARDIS!
Later on Ceti Alpha V.
Kirk, Lana, Batman, Deadpool, Stan, Scott and Sophie energise on the planet.
Kirk speaks into the communication device.
Kirk: I'm here Khan. Where are you?
Khan (Voice): Inside that base. I'm waiting for you.
Kirk: This way. Follow me and don't wander off.
Deadpool starts whispering to Batman.
Deadpool: Five bucks says he says the thing.
Batman: You're on.
Inside the Enterprise.
Kenny and Ashoka were staring at the teleporter.
Ashoka: That little teleporter. It's their only way back.
Ashoka approached the controls and stabbed them with her lightsaber.
Kenny and Ashoka laughed.
They stopped laughing.
Kenny: Seriously though, somebody should clean up the vomit.
Ashoka: Definitely. Let's go find a mop.
Back on Ceti Alpha V.
The crew made it to the rundown building.
Kirk: He should be here.
Lana: Maybe he's hiding somewhere.
Stan: Or maybe he's planning to maroon us.
Deadpool: I hope it's that one because I really wanna hear Kirk say the thing.
Kirk: What thing?
Deadpool: The thing.
Kirk: The thing?
Deadpool did an annoyed sigh.
Sophie notices Scott glaring at Stan and approaches him.
Sophie: Scott.
Scott: What?
Sophie: Scott I swear to God, there was nothing between me and him.
Scott: I doubt that!
Sophie: Why?!
Scott: Because you were talking about something that was pretty big! How big is it?!
Sophie: What?!
Scott: How big is it?!
Sophie: Scott, I don't know what you're talking about!
Scott: How big was his Sophie?! Why are you comparing sizes when you haven't even seen mine?!
Lana: Children, please calm down with your argument. I'm concentrating.
Scott: No. It's my argument and everyone is gonna hear it.
Kirk: Stop arguing! I'm not gonna get dragged into it no way no how.
Scott: Well now you are Kirk, because she gave him a handjob in your bedroom.
Kirk: WHAT?!
Suddenly, Bane ran from the corner of the wall.
Bane: What?!
Barry, Meta and Jaws soon followed.
Barry: You stupid son of a bitch! We were supposed to do a surprise attack.
Bane: But a little girl gave a little boy a hand job, that is out of order.
Barry: Well, the surprise attack was ruined, thank you Bane. Well, now everyone knows! Attack!
The four villains start charging at the heroes.
Lana pulls out her uzi and starts firing quite ferociously.
The hail of bullets managed to hit Jaws, killing him instantly.
Batman and Kirk, get into a fist fight with Bane.
Stan, Scott and Sophie start firing their phasers at Barry, but with no damage to him.
Barry: Sorry, phasers don't have an affect on me.
Deadpool: But do swords-
Deadpool tried to stab Barry with his sword, but it didn't work.
Deadpool: -not work?
Barry: That's right.
Barry punched Deadpool which caused him to fly across the room.
Lana was in a fist fight with the Meta, but the Meta was blocking her every attack.
Then, the Meta did a front flip over her and kicked her in the back.
Stan, Scott and Sophie were walking backwards while firing their phasers at Barry; who was just standing there showing off.
Barry: Again, it's not gonna affect me, I don't know why you're trying.
Meanwhile.
Kirk and Batman were still in a fist fight with Bane.
Kirk was fighting very poorly. He was punching and dodging while Batman was at the least trying.
Batman kicked Bane in the face, but Bane then punched Batman in the stomach.
Bane punched Batman in the face, kicked him in the knee, kicked him in his balls, kneed him in the stomach and then smacked both of his hands against his ears.
Bane grabbed Batman by the waste and threw him to Kirk.
Kirk and Batman were knocked out.
Bane: Pathetic. Again, I have proven myself to be a better fighter than you, Bruce.
Batman: What? Who's Bruce? I'm not Bruce. (Points to Kirk) He's Bruce.
Kirk: My first name, is James, not Bruce.
Bane cocks a gun.
Bane: I hope they remember-
Suddenly, a sword sticks out from Bane's neck.
Somebody pulled the sword out and Bane collapsed.
Deadpool (Doing a Bane impression): I hope they remember me as the most talkative villain who ever existed.
Kirk and Batman chuckled.
Batman: That was a good impression.
Meanwhile, Lana was still fighting the Meta with hand to hand combat.
Lana looked really exhausted because she was fighting an invincible opponent.
The Meta grabbed Lana by the head and started to smash her head against the wall about 9 times.
Lana collapsed to the ground.
The Meta was about to kill her when-
Deadpool: Hey!
The Meta looked to where the voice came from.
Deadpool stood in front of the Meta holding a harpoon gun.
Deadpool (Looks at the camera): In case you don't know where I got this from, I found it. It was lying on the floor.
Deadpool fired the gun and the Meta got harpooned against the wall, causing him to go lim.
Deadpool: "Stick" around.
Batman and Kirk approached Deadpool.
Kirk: Did he forget he had super speed?
Batman: I think he got the "point."
Deadpool glares at Batman.
Deadpool: Look Meta, the "point" is, you suck.
Batman: I'm glad you "stuck" to what you're best at.
Deadpool: Uh...something to do with harpoons. Dammit! You win!
Batman: Yes! Do you wanna know why?
Kirk and Deadpool sighed.
Deadpool and Kirk: Because you're Bat-
Batman: It's because I'm Batman.
Lana gets up off the floor.
Kirk: Are you alright?
Lana: The children.
Meanwhile.
Scott, Sophie and Stan were still shooting their phasers at Barry.
Stan: How do we still have ammunition?
Sophie: I don't know!
Barry: Look, you're almost out and I'm getting kind of bored so I'll just kill ya.
Stan, Scott and Sophie start running away from Barry.
They run deeper into the base.
They make a left turn and then a right.
They opened a door and ran down some stairs.
Their chase came to a stop when they met a dead end.
Stan: Oh shit!
Barry: Now, I will have the honour of crushing your brains into jello. Or crushing your skulls into dust. Or skinning you and offering your skeletons to school science classes.
Scott: I don't want my skeleton to be put on display.
Barry was slowly approaching them.
Deadpool: Hey, Barry.
Barry turns around to see Kirk, Batman, Lana and Deadpool.
Deadpool fires his harpoon gun, but Barry catches the harpoon.
Deadpool: Shit.
Barry: Thanks.
Barry tugs at the harpoon and then he catches it.
Barry: Your turn.
Barry fires the harpoon gun at Deadpool, causing him to be stuck up to a wall.
Deadpool: Shit!
Barry: Now, I'm gonna kill all of you. There's no chance of escape.
Kirk: Barry, where is Khan?
Barry: He's safe and sound on his own Starship. I came up with the name for it, I called it the Archer. So I can remind myself that I am after a guy named Archer.
Lana: That sounds really dumb Barry.
Barry: It isn't, it's clever!
Lana: No Archer will find it flattering that you decided to name a Starship after him.
Barry: Well that's his view. You three! Stand with the others.
Stan, Scott and Sophie were standing still in fear.
Barry: Now!
Stan, Scott and Sophie stand with the others.
Barry: Now, I will do the one thing I've always wanted to do. Kill assholes with a harpoon gun.
Barry puts his arms in an aiming position, but he realises that the harpoon gun wasn't there, it was Deadpool's belt.
Barry: Huh?
Batman: Hey.
Batman had the harpoon gun and he fires it at Barry.
The harpoon pinned Barry to the wall.
Barry: How? Wait don't tell me, because y-
Batman: Because I was trained by a league of assassins, stealth was a tactic I had to learn and perfect.
Barry: Oh. It's not because you're Batman?
Batman: And also, it's because I'm Batman!!!
Barry: Of course.
Kirk pulled the harpoon out of Deadpool's chest.
Batman: And it's quite convenient you're still holding the belt.
Barry: Why? If it has a bomb, I hate to tell you, bombs don't kill me.
Batman: It's a teleportation belt and when it explodes, you will be transported to a random location, don't know where, don't know when in time.
Barry looked at the belt and realised, the time was almost up.
Barry: Oh s-
The belt exploded and Barry disappeared.
Everyone was amazed.
Stan: Can you teach me some of those tricks?
Lana: Can I sleep with you? I've broken up with Archer again and...yeah.
Batman: Alright.
Deadpool: Now I don't mean to intrude on everybody's premature celebration, the fact of the matter is my belt is gone!
Deadpool's pants fall down and everyone realised that he wasn't wearing any underwear.
Everyone covered their eyes.
Sophie covered Scott's eyes with her hand.
Scott: Who said you can touch me?
Sophie removed her hand from Scott's eyes.
Deadpool: Come on, you've all seen a penis before.
Kirk turns around and starts to speak into the communication device.
Kirk: Khan, you son of a bitch. I thought this was one on one and you send your servants to do the job?!
Khan (Voice): Kirk, my old friend, you're still alive?
Khan laughed.
Khan (Voice): I knew you would've survived your ordeal. Because I knew you'd bring your allies with you to help you defeat me if your attempts to stop me were unsuccessful. Now, you're on a planet all alone, marooned once again.
Kirk: What are you talking about Khan? There's crew on the Enterprise.
Khan laughed once again.
Khan (Voice): Oh Kirk, you don't get it. Did you happen to bring Ashoka Tano and Kenny McCormick with you?
Kirk then came to the realisation.
Khan (Voice): Because after what I did to them, the person that is operating the teleporter will be no match for a lightsaber. Now, I shall leave you as you left me, marooned on a desert planet for the remainder of your days. Buried alive. Buried alive. Buried alive.
Kirk starts to get angry and looks like he's about to yell.
Deadpool: He's gonna say it! He's gonna say it!
Kirk was about to yell when...
Scott: KHAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!
Scott's yell echoed throughout the planet, the darkness of space, the universe, Imaginationland and somehow South Park.
Cartman residence.
Everyone was waiting for Stan to show up.
Kyle: Did you hear something?
Wendy: We've been in here for five hours bored as fuck, so I think we'll be hearing some things right now. Right Rainbow Dash?
Everyone stared at Wendy in confusion.
Back on the Enterprise.
Ashoka and Kenny were looking around the Enterprise for a mop.
Ashoka: Where is the mop?
Kenny: Did we try the janitor's closet?
Ashoka: We already looked there.
Suddenly, Griff exited the closet with a mop in his hand.
Griff: Finally. I found the sucker.
Griff looked at the two.
Griff: Oh, hey guys.
Ashoka and Kenny were glaring at Griff.
Griff: I, Dexter Griff have found the mop.
Ashoka ignited her lightsabers and Kenny pointed a phaser at Griff.
Griff screamed and pulled his rifle out from his holster, Kenny shot Griff with his phaser but it only gave Griff some shield damage; nothing severe.
Girff then shot Kenny dead.
Ashoka was shocked.
Ashoka: Oh my God! You killed a child.
Griff: I'm a bastard!
Griff started to run and Ashoka soon started chasing Griff.
Ashoka: Get back here!
Griff: Ashoka, I know I've been shit!
Griff ran through an open door to the next corridor.
Griff: But I did find the mop!
Ashoka: Your time is up.
Griff: I didn't know there was a time limit!
Ashoka continued to chase Griff while Griff managed to outrun her.
Griff enters the bridge but unknowingly slipped on the vomit.
He slipped forward and broke his visor on impact.
Griff: Ow! I think I got glass in my face.
Ashoka pressed her foot against Griff's leg.
Ashoka: Try getting up after this.
Ashoka was about to stab Griff with her lightsabers, but all of a sudden; Ashoka started to twitch.
Ashoka: What i...get out of my head...never!
Ashoka started to scream.
Griff: Oh. It's that time of the month.
Ashoka continued to scream.
Ashoka: Get out! Get out!
Griff: Uh o-
Griff noticed the ear worm exiting Ashoka's ear.
Griff: Ewwwwwww. Is that how it works on your planet?
Ashoka collapsed to her knees.
Griff approached Ashoka.
Griff: Ashoka, is that how your time of the month works?
Ashoka: What?! Wait, what happened? Where's Kenny?
Griff: I killed him.
Ashoka: What?!
Griff: In self defence, you and him were trying to kill me.
Ashoka: What?! Of course, the ear worm. Khan implanted me and Kenny with some kind of ear worm. Did we do anything suspicious?
Griff: You bought in a canister belonging to Bane and some adamantium swords for Deadpool. I didn't see anything suspicious about it.
Ashoka: And? Where's the captain? And the others?
Griff: They were teleported to the planet's surface.
Ashoka: The teleporter! Me or Kenny might've destroyed it.
Griff: Trust me, that baby is intact.
Later.
Griff and Ashoka realised that it wasn't intact.
Griff: Or, it was.
Ashoka: The captain's marooned there again. Is there a manual on how to repair it?
Griff finds a burning book on the floor.
Griff: You've burnt it.
Ashoka uses the force to clear away the fire.
Griff: That's not how the force works.
Ashoka: Rian and J.J. made up random powers as the new trilogy went along.
Griff: If only there was a way we could-Wait a minute.
Later.
Griff was holding Deadpool's teleportation belt.
Ashoka: Deadpool's belt?
Griff: Yes.
Ashoka: Do you know how to work it?
Griff: Not really. Deadpool had an instruction manual for it but that somehow got caught in flames. I mean how hard is it to make it work?
Ashoka holds onto Griff.
Griff: You just push the button and-
Griff pushes the button and they disappear.
Ashoka and Griff teleport to Cartman residence where Kyle and his friends were bored.
Cartman: Oh look, I'm so bored that I see Griff and Ashoka in the same room.
Kyle: Yeah. That's insane.
An hallucination of Mr Peanutbutter: Dexter Griff and Ashoka Tano in the same room! What is this a crossover?
Griff: Ok, wrong universe and wrong planet.
Griff pushes the button again and he and Ashoka disappear.
Clyde: Wait, how were you two seeing the same thing?
Back on Ceti Alpha V.
Kirk was trying to make contact.
Kirk: Kirk to Griff do you read me? Kirk to Griff do you copy? Shit.
Lana: So are we just gonna be stuck here?
Batman: If so, what will we eat?
Sophie: And where will I get my insulin?
Suddenly, Sophie got hit by insulin.
Scott: There's your insulin, bitch!
Sophie sighed.
Batman: Ok, since it's survival of the fittest I say we eat the fattest. Kirk, will you do the honour of being our food when the time comes?
Kirk: No. As your captain I will not be your food unless necessary.
Batman was about to use a batarang to stab Kirk.
Deadpool: Guys, you can just eat me! I can regrow my limbs.
Everyone stands still, thinking.
Kirk: Ok.
Lana: Sounds good.
Batman: Aww, but I wanted to eat Kirk.
Scott was sitting on his own looking mad.
Stan sat next to him.
Stan: Hey.
Scott: Hey.
Stan: I wanted us to talk.
Scott: About why my ex gave you that hand job?
Stan: Scott, Sophie never gave me the hand job.
Scott: Stop lying Stan! You've been eyeing Sophie ever since you realised she's a Trekkie, like you.
Stan: Jesus, a fellow Trekkie isn't allowed to speak to another fellow Trekkie?
Scott did an angry sigh.
Stan: Look Scott, Sophie's cute and all but I love Wendy Testaburger and that is the truth.
Scott: But that doesn't excuse the fact she gave you a hand job!
Deadpool: Oh my God! She didn't give him a hand job! It was just some stupid shenanigans that made it look like she gave him a hand job when she didn't because the writer wanted some conflict that will be resolved by the end of the story.
Scott sat on the floor thinking.
Scott: Holy shit Stan. I'm so sorry. I guess I should've listened. I was so scared that I might lose Sophie to you that I just let it get the best of me.
Stan: It's cool Scott. Maybe there's a chance you two can repair the relationship.
Scott: I don't think there is.
Stan: Why?
Scott: I've just broken Sophie's heart Stan, I don't think she can ever forgive me.
Scott started to shed some tears.
Scott: I've screwed up.
Scott then started crying into Stan's shoulders.
Sophie was watching the whole thing, she was about to approach them but she stopped once Griff and Ashoka popped out of nowhere.
Griff: Woooo! We finally made it.
Kirk: Griff, where were you? I thought you were dead.
Griff: Me and Ashoka were too busy trying to control the belt, so we could try and rescue you.
Deadpool: My belt. Why didn't I bring it along just in case?
Deadpool takes his belt out of Griff's hands and straps it around his pants.
Lana: Thank you so much Griff. Seeing Deadpool's junk was just disturbing to say the least.
Kirk: What happened to your visor?
Griff: I slipped on some vomit.
Kirk: Was it the vomit you were refusing to clean up?
Griff: I couldn't find the mop!
Ashoka: Captain Kirk, I am deeply sorry for what me and Kenny did. It was not in our control, Khan was controlling us.
Kirk: It's ok. Like you said: You didn't have any control over it.
Stan: Ashoka, where's Kenny?
Griff: Uh...I may have shot him dead.
Stan: Oh my God! You killed Kenny!
Deadpool: You bastard!!!!!!!!!!
Kirk: Let's get off this rock. Because the Meta could escape at any moment.
Everyone held onto Deadpool.
Deadpool: Alright, beam me up belt.
Deadpool pushes his belt and everyone disappears.
Enterprise Bridge.
Everyone arrived at the Enterpirse Bridge.
Kirk: Right, Ashoka can you see if you can get a force link with Darth Maul?
Ashoka: Yes captain.
Ashoka closed her eyes and started to concentrate.
Kirk: Batman, Lana, get in pilot positions.
Batman and Lana: Yes captain!
Kirk: Griff find that mop.
Griff: I know where it is. Or I thought I did, I forgotten.
Griff exited the bridge to continue his search for the mop.
Kirk: Stan, Sophie, Deadpool and Scott you stand guard to look impressed at what we do.
Stan: Yes captain.
Scott sat down on a chair and he suddenly realised he was sitting next to Sophie.
Sophie: Hey.
Scott: Hey.
Sophie and Scott were a little uncomfortable right next to each other.
Scott: So...
Sophie: So...
Scott and Sophie: Do you wanna get back together? Yes.
Scott: I am so sorry Sophie Gray.
Sophie: No Scott I'm sorry for hanging out with Stan and making you jealous.
Scott: No Sophie, I don't care about that at all anymore. If you wanna hang out with a Trekkie like Stan than that's cool. But I am deeply sorry for not listening to you and breaking up with you.
Sophie: It's ok Scott.
Scott: And I'm sorry for throwing your insulin at you.
Sophie: Apology accepted.
Scott: And I'm sorry for calling you a bitch.
Sophie: It's alright.
Scott: And I'm sorry I gave you the-
Sophie grabbed Scott by the shoulders and kissed him on the lips.
Scott was shocked by it, but he held her by her arms and kissed her back.
Deadpool: Aww.
Lana was smiling at the sight.
Batman: I hope he took my advice.
Scott and Sophie stopped kissing.
Scott was surprised.
Scott: -Best kiss of your life?
Sophie: Yeah. I've always wanted a kiss of mine to be in the Starship Enterprise.
Scott smiled at the gesture.
Deadpool looks at the camera.
Deadpool: Hey writer! That line was dumb! You sure you aren't the writer for The Notebook?
Ashoka: I got him. He's 34 miles north.
Kirk: Ok. Looks like we're gonna need to use stealthy tactics to defeat him once and for all.
In Khan's ship.
Everyone was celebrating.
Bellatrix was getting drunk.
Bellatrix: Whiskies, drinkies.
Some Whisky shot out of Bellatrix's wand.
While Rabbity was jerking himself off while covered in blood.
Rabbity: YAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!
Khan, Maul, The Witch King and Ajax were watching.
Khan: Everyone!
Everyone went quiet.
Khan: My dear friends, I know some are mourning the loss of Bane, Jaws, possibly Meta and possibly Barry. But Kirk is forever marrooned on that planet and he shall be for as long as he lives. We shall continue for our quest for our own piece; to boldly go where no augmented human has gone before and rule them all.
Everyone cheered.
Maul presses his hand against his head and closes his eyes.
Khan: Where shall we start?
Bellatrix: Let's take over Hogwarts.
The Witch King: Rodan.
Rabbity: Let's take over Heaven and have a blood orgy to celebrate. Yay!!!!!!!
Darth Maul opened his eyes.
Darth Maul: Khan.
Khan: Yes?
Darth Maul: We're doomed.
Khan: What do you m-
Suddenly, the ship exploded all around.
In the Enterprise.
Kirk: Fire again.
Lana: Aye aye!
Lana fired the torpedos to Khan's ship, causing it to be blown to smithereens.
Everyone cheered.
Griff entered the bridge.
Griff: Yay! I found the mop!
Kirk: Excellent, clean up the vomit.
Griff: Yes sir.
Griff started to clean up the vomit.
Stan approached Kirk.
Stan: Kirk, that vomit wasn't Scott's, it was mine. I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner it's just-
Kirk: I know. You were too scared to embarrass yourself in front of me. So, how should we celebrate?
Batman: Let's get some coffee.
Kirk: Not a bad choice, Ashoka?
Ashoka: Let's go to a space bar.
Kirk: That's not the Jedi way. How about you Deadpool?
Deadpool: Chimichangas!
Kirk: Nope. How about you Khan?
Khan: We can have a cold dish called revenge.
Kirk: Sounds good. How about you L-
Kirk then realised that Khan was aboard the Enterprise.
Everyone was shocked.
Kirk: Khan, how did you get on?
Khan: Oh Kirk, I had a teleportation device embedded on my wrist.
Sophie: What about your crew?
Khan: Oh, they will be missed dearly. I didn't wanna leave them, but I had no choice.
Lana and Deadpool point their guns at Khan.
Ashoka ignites her lightsabers and points them at Khan.
Stan, Scott, Kirk and Sophie aim their phasers at Khan.
Batman aimed his batarangs at Khan.
Whilst Griff just aimed the mop at Khan.
Khan: Stop! This is unfair, I only wanna fight Kirk.
Kirk: Why Khan?
Khan: Because we never had our rematch in the movie Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Yours Truly.
Kirk: Ha. It's not happening Khan. Look around you, do you think everyone will just put down their weapons because they want you to-
Deadpool: A rematch between Kirk and Khan?! Yes please!
Everyone laid down their weapons to watch the fight.
Kirk: What?
Stan: He's kind of right Kirk, we never got that anticipated rematch.
Kirk sighed and threw away his phaser.
Kirk: Very well Khan.
Khan: Such a noble warrior.
Kirk and Khan prepared their fighting stances.
Khan cracked his knuckles.
Kirk charged at Khan with a few punches to the face.
Khan grabbed Kirk by the head and kicked him in his abdomen.
Deadpool: Oh boy. A crappy Star Trek fight has come to life baby.
Deadpool offers Batman some popcorn he had in his hand.
Batman takes a handful of popcorn.
Kirk punched Khan in the face.
Khan then punched Kirk in the chest and then the face.
Kirk uppercuts Khan then Khan holds Kirk by the shoulders and throws him across the room.
Kirk managed to get himself up and charged at Khan.
Khan punched Kirk in the face causing him to crash on the floor.
Khan picked Kirk up and placed him in a standing position.
Kirk tried to punch Khan, but Khan dodged the punch and starts to wail on Kirk.
Khan punched Kirk 14 times in the face.
The last punch caused Kirk to fall to the floor.
Kirk was bleeding from his nose, his lip and he had a cut on his cheek.
Deadpool: He's losing. Oh if only there was a plot device that was mentioned in one scene that can help us.
Batman: I've scanned him. His weaknesses are explosions and adamantium.
Deadpool: Where can I find-Oh wait.
Khan was chuckling at his achievement.
Khan: Oh Kirk, I have finally beaten you to an inch of your life. Once I'm done with you, I'm gonna go for J.J. Abarams.
Kirk stood up, exhausted and bruised from the beating.
Khan: Why aren't you staying down? You're gonna die Kirk.
Kirk: In order to defeat you, I might have to make that sacrifice. Because I'm gonna do this all day even if it kills me.
Kirk punched Khan in the face a few times causing Khan to have a cut on his lip.
Khan places his finger on his lip and examines the blood.
Khan: I'm bleeding.
Khan notices Kirk was holding onto his wrist hinting that his wrist was broken.
Khan smiled.
Khan: And you're broken.
Khan uppercuts Kirk in the face, causing Kirk to crash on the floor.
Khan approached Kirk and chuckled.
Khan: I have done it, I have beaten you. There is no mercy Kirk. I shall strike down upon thy with great vengeance and furious anger.
Deadpool onto the bridge holding his katanas.
Deadpool: KHAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!
Deadpool was about to stab Khan, but Khan grabbed Deadpool by the arms and tore them off.
Deadpool: AAAAAHHHH!!! I needed those for personal reasons.
Khan then ripped Deadpool's head off and threw it on the floor.
Deadpool: Ok, that was just rude.
Khan then ripped Deadpool's legs off.
Deadpool: Shit! Looks like I'll have to Iron Giant it.
Khan grabbed Deadpool's limbs and used Kirk's phaser to disintegrate them.
Deadpool: Well at least my dick is still attached to my body.
Khan aims the phaser at Deadpool.
Khan: Goodbye Deadpool it was-
Suddenly, Khan felt a sharp pain.
That's because there was a katana sticking out of his chest.
Kirk stood up and revealed himself to be the one who had done that deed.
Kirk: See you in hell Khan.
Khan started chuckling.
Kirk pulled the sword out of Khan and Khan collapsed to the floor.
Everyone cheered.
Scott: Way to go Kirk!
Stan: You're great Kirk but you're no Picard.
Everyone was celebrating until they heard Khan laughing.
Khan: Did you think I was done Kirk?...Well I'm not.
Khan shows Kirk a device attached to his wrist.
Khan: This device is connected...to my heart...If I die, then this device will set off two bombs...One is in my chest and has the blast radius of a sun exploding in two minutes...the other is the canister Ashoka hopefully bought in...it will detonate in 4 minutes unless...you can deactivate it.
Khan's breathing was slowing down.
Khan: So, this is what it feels like?
Khan smiled and then he went limp.
Deadpool: We're gonna die! Well technically you guys, I will obviously survive.
Kirk was panicking.
Stan: Jesus dude! What are we gonna do?!
Kirk: Batman, Scott, Griff, you three deal with the canister.
Batman: Where is it?
Ashoka: It's in the quarantine room.
Batman: Come on!
Batman, Scott and Griff ran out of the bridge.
Kirk: Ashoka, Lana, dump the body and hurray.
Lana: Yes captain.
Stan: What about us?
Kirk: Pilot the enterprise! Stan, thrusters. Sophie, navigation!
Meanwhile.
Ashoka and Lana made it to the emergency exit.
Ashoka and Lana threw Khan's corpse beside the exit and activated the ray shields so that way they won't be sucked into space.
Lana pushes the button that opens the door and Khan's lifeless body is sucked into space.
In the quarantine room.
Scott, Batman and Griff made it.
Griff: There it is!
The canister had a timer and it was on 3:10.
Scott: Batman, how do we deactivate it?!
Batman started to scan the canister.
Batman: The password is One...Nine...Eight...One.
Griff: Let's deactivate the sucker.
Griff was about to deactivate the sucker until Batman places his arm on Griff's shoulder.
Batman: But there's a problem, if we deactivate it, it will release toxic radiation that can kill a human in a matter of minutes.
Scott: Oh shit!
Back on the bridge.
Stan was powering the thrusters to top speed.
Sophie: Where-
Kirk: Forward!
Sophie started navigating the ship forward and the ship was going as fast as it did.
Kirk: Hold on tight!
Stan and Sophie strapped themselves in.
While Deadpool's head was flying about, screaming.
Kirk saw Khan's body, floating in space, on the view screen.
Kirk: See you in Hell, Khan.
Back in the quarantine room.
Batman: One of us needs to sacrifice ourselves.
Griff: I can't.
Batman: Why?
Griff: Because my fucking visor is broken!
Batman: Oh that's just great! I'm not doing it because I'm Batman!
Griff: That's not even a reason!
Batman: It is!
As Batman and Griff were continuing their argument, Scott started pushing the canister into a quarantine chamber and locked himself in.
Batman: -And that's why I'm awesome.
Griff noticed Scott.
Griff: Scott!
Griff and Batman run up to the window.
Griff: What the fuck are you doing?!
Scott: Saving all of us.
Griff: Scott, don't!
Batman: You can still be Batboy if you live! You can still be Batboy if you live!
Scott: I'm sorry guys.
Scott took a deep breath.
Scott: One.
Griff: No!
Scott: Nine.
Lana and Ashoka run into the room.
Lana: What the hell is going on?!
Scott: Eight.
Lana: Scott! No!
Batman: Don't let him out Lana! He's saving all of us!
Scott was about to press the next key, he stopped to flash back on his life.
He remembers the bullying he got from his parents, Cartman, his classmates and a store clerk.
Then, he starts to remember Sophie.
He remembers the first day he saw her, the first day they spoke, them watching The Mandalorian together, them having their dance, them sharing their first kiss on Valentines Day, them watching a movie at Sophie's house while cuddling, them holding hands in the park and finally, them kissing each other on the Enterprise.
The flashbacks ends as Scott takes a deep breath.
Scott: One.
We cut back to the bridge where we see Stan and Sophie controlling the Enterprise.
Kirk: Almost there! Almost there!
Their time was almost up so they were going as fast as they could.
Then, the explosion happened.
The blast was following them, Stan and Sophie had to do their best to avoid the blast.
They navigated the ship as fast as they could, but they did.
Because in 12 seconds, the blast had died down.
Stan, Sophie and Kirk smiled.
Kirk: We're safe.
Kirk laughed.
Kirk: We're safe!
Stan and Sophie: Hooray!
Kirk, Stan and Sophie got out of their seats to hug each other.
Kirk grabbed his communication device.
Kirk: Batman did you deactivate the bombs?
Batman (Voice): No, Scott did.
Kirk: What a brave little boy?
Batman (Voice): You need to come down here and bring Sophie, I don't know how long he has left.
Sophie and Stan shared worry glances at each other.
Later in the quarantine room.
Sophie ran into the room.
Sophie saw Scott getting weak from all the radiation.
Sophie: Scott! What's happened?!
Batman: Radiation poisoning, he's dying.
Sophie started to shed tears.
Sophie: Scott.
Lana: It's best you say your goodbyes.
Sophie walked up to the glass and placed her hand on it.
Sophie: Scott!
Scott got up off the floor and approached Sophie.
Scott: Hey beautiful.
Sophie: Hey handsome.
Scott: Sophie...I don't know how long I have left.
Sophie: Is there anything we can do? Is there anything I can do?
Scott: No...you're already doing it. I want you here...not to see me die...so I can see you...for one last time.
Sophie shedded more tears.
Sophie: I pictured a future for us.
Scott: So have I. Sophie, I wanna say...I'm glad I was your first.
Sophie smiled.
Scott: Hey, Sophie.
Sophie: Yeah, Scott.
Scott: The needs of the many...
Scott placed his hand against the window.
Sophie: ...outweigh the needs of the few.
Scott smiled.
Scott started to slowly collapse to the floor as Sophie continued saying his name.
Sophie: No.
Scott then went limp and wasn't moving.
Sophie then started crying.
Everyone else started to shed a few tears.
Even Batman.
Sophie continued crying over the loss of Scott.
Later.
South Park church.
Everyone was here to mourn the loss of Scott.
His parents were crying, so were Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman, even every student who have mocked him.
Father Maxi: And now a few words from Scott's significant other, Sophie Gray.
Sophie stood by the stand.
Sophie: Hi, I'm Sophie, Scott's girlfriend. During my time in South Park allot of boys made me uncomfortable, but one boy didn't and that was Scott. Me and him may have had our ups and downs, but he was sweet and in my opinion, no offence...
Sophie tried to hold back the tears.
Sophie: ...out of all the boys I've met in my lifetime, he was the most human.
Sophie got off the podium to sit down.
Father Maxi: Scott Malkinson, we pray that you are doing ok in the afterlife and are watching over us. Rest in peace, you little heroic angel.
Maxi started crying as the scene ends.