Hey guys! These are my normal disclaimers. I do not own any part of NCIS, although I would take Jethro if I could! The characters do not belong to me unfortunately. Some of the verbiage has been taken directly from the referenced episode, but I have added some of my own thoughts.

I do write adult discipline fics, so please keep that in mind. If you do not want to read a story with an adult spanking scene, please discontinue reading! This one is M/M, again, please do not read any further if you find the aforementioned material offensive; otherwise, happy reading!

Season 14X10

Palmer!

"Duck, we need to get this body out of the road way," Gibbs directed after seeing a young man on the ledge of the building near the roof. "Torres, you're with me. Let's go."

"Quickly, Mr. Palmer, let's get him into the van," Dr. Mallard instructed.

There was no response from Jimmy and that was unusual. Ducky looked around, "Mr. Palmer? Jimmy!" Ducky did not see Jimmy anywhere around.

It was Quinn who spoke next, "Oh. My. God." Bishop and Ducky followed Quinn's gaze and Ducky's mouth went agape. Palmer was inching his way across the ledge to the young man.

Seconds later, Gibbs and Torres made it to the floor where they previously saw the young man. Gibbs put his head out the window and saw Jimmy. Several thoughts went through his head within milliseconds.

First was disbelief…

Jimmy? Ducky's Jimmy? My Jimmy? My Team? Jimmy who is not an agent Jimmy?

Then worry…

Palmer is not trained for this… He could get hurt! He could fall! This kid could push him off the ledge! We

do not know this kid's mental state….Hell I don't know Palmer's mental state!

Then came the anger…

What the hell was Palmer thinking!? He could get killed! If he survives this, I may kill him myself! If he

wants to act like one of my agents, I am going to treat him like one of my agents!

Then acceptance…

Jimmy is already up here, he has a hand on the kid. From the statement given the kid did not kill his father, but we still do not know if he will hurt Jimmy. However, Jimmy is the one on the ledge with the kid, and this is where we are and what I have to work with now.

And then Gibbs spoke, "Palmer, what are you doing?"

Gibbs saw pure fear and terror in Palmer's face before he responded, "Not exactly sure." Jimmy's hat blew off his head, and he watched if float to the ground. Gibbs mind was in overdrive, he was going to have to solve this case fast or he was going to lose a member of his family.

Gibbs watched, Palmer's breath was heavy in and out. The boy was terrified, and he still could not

process why Jimmy! Jimmy of all people, was the one standing on that ledge. He clearly did not think before going stepping out that with that kid, what was the kid's name? Ryan?

Gibbs spoke again, "Palmer, what were you thinking?"

Jimmy said, "I wasn't thinking, I just saw him and I reacted and I came up here. I just wasn't thinking."

Gibbs took his hat off and tossed it to the floor thinking well that much is true. Jimmy definitely was not thinking. Gibbs began making his way out of the window. Jimmy was coming back inside and he was going to take his place. That was the plan. As Gibbs was stepping out of the window onto the ledge, Ryan began panicking.

"Stay back! You stay back or I will take him with me! I swear I'll do it." Torres had his hand on Gibbs, and Gibbs heard Jimmy pleading with Ryan, "Please don't! Please don't do that!" Gibbs froze and assessed the situation. Ryan was crying and unstable about his father being dead, Jimmy had him by the belt, and if Ryan became too overwhelmed he may jump or fall. Either way it would result in Jimmy being killed from this distance. Yes, I am going to kill him myself once this is over.

Gibbs took a long look at Jimmy and climbed back in the window. Torres was asking to take Jimmy's place, "No, Torres. Palmer's got it. He's got this." Gibbs was not sure who he was reassuring in that moment. Torres or himself. He knew one thing for certain; he was going to have to work quickly.

They would get through this predicament, but once everyone was safe, Gibbs and Jimmy were going to have one long conversation about decision making and thinking things through. Jimmy Palmer would think things through before doing something like this again.

Gibbs got Jimmy's attention, "Palmer." Jimmy looked at Gibbs, and Gibbs said, "Keep talking."

He heard Jimmy trying to get Ryan to sit down with him on the ledge. Jimmy was obviously still shaking, and Gibbs could tell much like his middle son, McGee, Jimmy was not a fan of heights, and Ryan was refusing to sit.

"I'm not sitting! I'm jumping! And no HERO is going to save me!" Jimmy started sputtering. He did not know the kid's name yet. "At least tell me your name, "What's your name? Mine is Jimmy. Tell me…tell me… what's yours."

"Ryan, my name is Ryan."

"Ryan, I'm no hero, I'm just a medical examiner assistant. I am not trying to be a hero believe me I do not want to die, and I don't want to die like a hero right now!" Jimmy recounted a conversation he had with Dr. Mallard almost a decade ago, when he was shot at and he questioned his own bravery. Jimmy told Ryan he would like to sit down and both of them live through this because he was not a hero and had a healthy sense of self preservation.

Fire personnel were gathering down below making Ryan agitated. Gibbs called Quinn, "Hey Quinn, you are going to have to do something with Fire and Rescue. They are agitating the kid and I cannot have him agitated while Jimmy is out there with him."

Shortly after the phone call, Fire and Rescue moved. Good girl Quinn, Gibbs thought.

Gibbs watched as Palmer struggled to hold onto Ryan's belt. Pleading with Ryan to stop, explaining he had a wife and a kid at home. Jimmy told Ryan, "If I had to do this all over again," Jimmy gave a nervous chuckle, "you…. you would definitely be out here on your own!"

First smart thing the kid has said since he went out there! Gibbs thought.

"No, if you had not come out here, I. Would. Be. Dead." Ryan shouted back.

Gibbs, hearing Ryan, made his heart pound in his chest. If he was truly ready to die, he would not have any problems taking Jimmy with him. Why did his children continue to put him in these situations!

I expected this from Tony and Ziva! I still expect things like this from McGee, Bishop, and Torres! Abby is a full time job all by herself! She has given me more grey hairs than the rest of them combined… Well minus Tony and Ziva. They took too many risks which I was not exactly happy with, but Palmer, Palmer does not do this! He has taken a book out of Tony and Ziva's book… I do miss those two though… Palmer!

Gibbs was brought out of his thoughts by Ryan shouting at Jimmy. He was blaming himself for his father's death. McGee and Bishop came upstairs to see Gibbs and explained the person who hit the Captain did not so much as slow down or try to stop.

Gibbs realized it was likely the Captain was murdered. He could prove to Ryan it was not his fault, and hopefully get both boys off the ledge safely.

"Ryan, did you see the car that hit your father?" Gibbs asked.

"No, it was going too fast."

Ryan pulled Jimmy away from the pipe he was holding onto to keep them stable, and Gibbs felt his heart jump to his throat, thankful they were still standing and had not fallen.

Gibbs looked meaningfully at Jimmy, "Palmer, don't you let him fall."

"Yes, Gibbs," Jimmy responded and grabbed back a hold of the pipe. Jimmy heard the unspoken words. He knew Gibbs cared about him. He was telling Jimmy to be careful and not fall himself. Gibbs directed Torres, "You, you do not let Palmer fall."

Gibbs and the rest of the team went back to the Navy Yard to start working on the investigation leaving Torres to watch over Palmer and Ryan.

Once back at the office, it was determined they needed ears up there with Jimmy and Ryan. "McGee, get on it!"

"On it boss!" McGee responded.

McGee grabbed an earwig for Jimmy and a backup plan in case that did not work. Quinn and Bishop went to conduct some interviews, Abby headed down to her lab, and Ducky down to autopsy.

Gibbs remained at his desk for the time being to think determine what to do next.

McGee had an idea and called Torres on his way. "Hey I am going to bring some food. Ask Jimmy if they want something to eat."

"What! Are you kidding me? They are hanging out on the side of a building inches from death and you want to know if they want something to eat?" Torres responded.

"Yes, and do you want something too?" McGee replied.

"Well now that you mention it, I am hungry. Jimmy, McGee is on his way back over he's going to bring some food. Do you want something?" Torres asked.

Jimmy replied, "Yes! Yes I would like a burger, and what about you Ryan you want to die anyhow, how about a last meal?"

"Ok burgers all around," Torres told McGee.

Outside Ryan finally conceded and asked Jimmy if he wanted to sit down. He confided in Jimmy he was nothing but a screw up, and Jimmy explained social media and all the things people want you to see are one sided. No one ever posts their "B sides." They share the best and keep the rest to themselves. Jimmy didn't know it at the moment but he was building a rapport with Ryan.

Torres stuck his head out the window, "Guys, food is here…No jumping!"

Jimmy shared with Ryan that he had friends who would bring him back to reality when he was feeling down on himself. He told Ryan about the time when he was feeling scrooge like around the holidays, and Abby pulled him out of his own head to help him see things clearly. Jimmy explained that on social media, people could be who they want the world to see them as, but nothing can replace in person contact with friends, and everyone has a B side.

Ryan thought about this for a moment, he had a dark thought cross his mind. He did not have anything Jimmy was talking about. He had lost his job; he lost his dad; he did not have these friends Jimmy spoke of… "Sounds like you have some really good friends," Ryan said.

"I do. They're the best," Jimmy replied.

"Well I don't have friends like that," Ryan said and he abruptly pushed Jimmy to the side. Jimmy tried to grab back onto Ryan's belt, but he missed and slipped. Jimmy was now hanging from the ledge, "Ryan!" Jimmy shouted, struggling to hang on to the ledge, feet kicking trying to gain traction to pull himself back up.

Ryan did not hesitate, "Hang on! I got you!" he yelled and he pulled Jimmy back up to sit on the ledge. Torres and McGee caught sight of what was happening, but did not interfere as Jimmy was almost back up on the ledge. Both were afraid if they stepped out it may cause Ryan to lose focus and they were not close enough to grab Jimmy themselves if Ryan lost his grip.

Both men made eye contact with each other once Jimmy was seated back on the ledge, "How angry was Gibbs, Jimmy is out there?" McGee asked.

"He did not say anything specifically, but I could see in his face and eyes he was not happy. I have been on the receiving side of that look, and I feel bad for Jimmy if he survives this. He may wish Ryan had pulled him off that ledge," Torres said.

Tim nodded in understanding. Torres took the food and was going to walk it out to Jimmy to hand him the earwig covertly; however, Ryan did not trust Torres to come closer.

McGee went with his backup plan, and placed a one way mic on the food carton, and they pushed the burgers with a broom over to Palmer on the ledge. They now had audio of everything that was being said between Palmer and Ryan.

Gibbs was proud of McGee for improvising like a good agent should and getting ears on Jimmy and Ryan. He did not like what he was hearing about the almost near death experience, but he now had ears on the subject. Maybe Ryan would tell Jimmy something they could follow up on.

"Admit it. You didn't same me, you saved us," Jimmy told Ryan.

"No I saved you, I did not want that on my conscience."

"What conscience? If you're dead, you don't have a conscience. Admit it. You want to live."

"No way man. I'm not admitting that."

Jimmy did not press it any further, "So how's the burger?" he asked Ryan.

"Great. " Ryan rolled his eyes, "Just like mother used to make."

"You haven't said a lot about your mother. Where is she?"

"She's dead,' Ryan said. "She died of cancer when I was twelve. Diagnosed in June and gone by July. My dad has not been the same since."

"What about you?" Jimmy inquired.

"I was mad mostly. My dad tried become all things. He was Mr. Discipline one minute and he would baby me like mom would the next." Ryan explained.

"What do you mean by that?"

"He would yell at me for screwing up, and then he would bend over backwards to fix whatever mess I had gotten myself into you know?" Ryan said half asking.

"You know my dad was nothing like that. My dad, well let's just say he was nothing like yours. But I work with someone who's close. Remember Agent Gibbs? The guy who was out here earlier. He is probably the toughest guy I have ever met."

Where are you going with this Palmer? Gibbs thought to himself as he was pacing back and forth at the office listening. Bishop and McGee had walked into the office and were now listening too.

"Gibbs has had a rough life, but you would never know it. He lost his wife and daughter in an accident on the same day, and scars like that Ryan, scars like that—they never go away. But Gibbs, he never mentions it. He comes to work every day, and he worries about all of us. All of his team. He treats us like family, and he never complains."

McGee and Bishop are trading stares and watching Gibbs pace back and forth, clearly lost in thought but intently listening to Jimmy.

"I think it is safe to say no one has had a tougher life than he has," Jimmy continued and with a half chuckle, "He builds boats in his basement, he will come in and give Abby a kiss on the forehead, and well you know he's not a hugger, at least he has never hugged me."

Gibbs paused pacing at that last statement, He seriously sees me as a father figure to him. Why is Ducky always right about these things, and why have I not picked up on his need before now? I always thought Ducky filled that role for him. Gibbs continued to stare at the speaker then resumed pacing briefly making eye contact with Agent Quinn.

"That man has the weight of the world on his shoulders and you would never know it. I really worry about him."

Gibbs paused again, Worried about me? I can see that big heart Dr. Mallard has talked about all these years.

"Even with everything he has going on, Gibbs was there for me on my darkest day when my adoption fell through. Ryan, I lost my kid. My child. I was supposed to bring my baby home, and it fell through, and that man was there for me. He helped me stop feeling sorry for myself, and let me know what it takes to be a dad, and giving up and giving in was not the way to go. Gibbs is the one who comforted me most that day," Palmer said.

"Gibbs was right, and hugs or no hugs, I will never forget his kindness that day. Ryan, as tough as your dad was, I am sure if you thought about it, you can think of times where your father was just as kind."

Ryan said, "Yeah like all the time." There was a ghost of a smile on Ryan's face as he spoke. "I never doubted his love for me. I just hope he knew how much I loved him too."

"You know, it sounds like it is with Gibbs. We know he loves us, from the head slaps when we screw something up, to the quiet good job we get when we do something right."

Gibbs made eye contact with McGee and Bishop at that statement, and he smirked as did they.

McGee whispered to Bishop, "More than just a head slap at times." Bishop nodded knowingly. Quinn overheard and raised an eyebrow questioningly. Both McGee and Bishop shook their heads in the negative and continued to keep an eye on their boss.

"I think he knows we love him too because of the tremendous amount of respect we have for him. He may never say it aloud, but we know. And I have to believe he knows we love him too, or he would not still be hanging around."

Gibbs looked at McGee and Bishop and dared them to say something with his glare. They dropped eye contact and suppressed a giggle because they knew this type of talk made Gibbs uncomfortable. Quinn on the other hand was not suppressing a giggle at the glare Gibbs threw her direction, but she did have the courtesy to try and cover her mouth with her hand. Gibbs just rolled his eyes at her.

"We are family, and that's what families do. Families fight. Families screw up. Families disagree, but at the end of the day we love each other in spite of all the differences," Palmer said.

Ryan continued to open up to Jimmy, "We were doing ok today, and all my dad wanted to do was take me out for my birthday, but when I told him I lost my job, he blew his top and almost caused an accident. He went right through a stop sign. Pissed some people off in the intersection too. They blew their horns."

Gibbs was talking to the one way mic, "Intersection? What intersection? As him where Palmer? Where?"

Bishop said, "Gibbs it doesn't work that way. He cannot hear you on that. He does not even know we are listening."

Well that explains why he is saying all these things, he feels safe in doing so.

"Where was the intersection Ryan?" Jimmy asked.

"The one at Ranier and Holt."

Quinn shook her head in disbelief, "How do you guys do that?"

Gibbs said, "McGee!"

"On it boss," McGee said.

It was Abby who found the intersection and observed the almost accident caused by Captain Smith, and a black SUV turned around to follow him. Gibbs and Tim were down in her lab as she showed them the footage.

The tag and the driver could not be identified at the present moment; however, it was apparent the guy Smith almost struck in the intersection turned around to follow Smith.

It had been five hours since Jimmy went out on the ledge with Ryan. Gibbs gave the order to Quinn to contact Fire and Rescue and have them deploy the air bag below but to do nothing further.

I was really hoping Jimmy would be safe inside by now…

Back out on the ledge, Jimmy and Ryan were still talking. Ryan had been making the occasional jab and jokes at himself, and Jimmy was getting aggravated with him. They engaged in a heated conversation about Ryan being his own worst enemy, and how Ryan may be the only one keeping score about his "screw ups" in life.

"What do you want from me?" Ryan yelled.

"I want you to not jump!" Jimmy returned.

This had Gibbs attention and he thought, You've been doing well kiddo, don't make him angry now. Calm down Jimmy…

"This conversation is NOT helping!"

Gibbs' breathing was the only clue that this conversation with Jimmy and Ryan was making him uncomfortable. He was not there to protect Jimmy if he decided to jump and take Palmer with him…Bring the conversation back to a place of calm and hang on Jimmy… Gibbs stepped out and headed upstairs to MTAC leaving Quinn and Bishop with the speaker.

"Maybe if you didn't compare yourself and you opted for happiness instead of self-loathing, it would help."

"Do you know how ridiculous you sound?" Ryan said. "I mean really, do YOU opt for happiness every day? You are an assistant medical examiner! You want to tell me you never wanted anything more?"

"Of course I wanted more! I was influenced by a mentor of mine, Dr. Mallard, to finish medical school, but be careful what you wish for Ryan," Jimmy said deflating a little bit.

This brought Ryan's emotions back down, "What do you mean?"

"I mean no one knows I finished medical school, and I took the ME test. I failed the first time, and the second time, but it's the third time I never told anyone about," Jimmy said.

"You passed?"

"I did."

"So you're like a real doctor?" Ryan asked.

Half laughing Jimmy answered, "Yeah, yeah I guess I am, but I never told anybody."

"Why not?"

"Because I spent all my time trying to be more, to prove myself, to show I was good enough, but when I passed, I realized I did not want to go anywhere else. I did not want to leave my friends, especially not Dr. Mallard. I was happy where I was."

"I don't get it," Ryan said.

"We have a special dynamic, my work family, and I did not want to mess that up," Jimmy explained.

"But you could go anywhere."

"And I will one day. I have had so many friends come and go, and live, and unfortunately die. Where I am right now with Dr. Mallard and Abby working with our team on what I feel is a noble cause, why would I want to leave that? I would rather be happy."

Ryan turned his head to the side as he was beginning to understand.

"So every day, I put on my blue scrubs and this jump suit and I come to work. I opt for happiness Ryan."

Ryan seemed to understand that, but in his own mind he just could not help but feel he was still responsible for his father's death.

The team was following up in interviews regarding an argument Captain Smith had with a previous co-worker in MTAC. Those leads were coming up empty.

Luckily, Abby being Abby had found them a lead from the vehicle. Her lead proved to have a GPS in the vehicle, and it appeared the Captain Smith was the victim of road rage. Gibbs could now go and prove to Ryan that it was not his fault and get his son off that ledge!

Gibbs rushed back to the scene of the accident, made a run to the elevator to the top floor, and to the window near where Jimmy was seated.

Gibbs could hear Jimmy telling Ryan, "I have seen a lot of dead people in my life. More than anyone else you know. We only get the B sides on our table. You can take a dark moment like the loss of a life and make it your defining moment for good or bad."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Ryan asked.

"That death can eat you from the inside out and you can choose to let it destroy you and your happiness or you can do what your dad did. He chose to find the good he still had in life. Ryan, he chose you. He chose to put his emphasis on you because he loved you. There is no shame in not killing yourself, and you have a lot of life left to find the good," Jimmy explained.

That was the pause Gibbs needed. He was proud of Jimmy, and he would tell him that too. He just wasn't sure if he would tell him before or after he could sit comfortably.

"Ryan, we found the guy who killed your dad. It's not your fault," Gibbs said.

"How do you know?" Ryan asked.

"We have him in custody, and we need you to testify at his trial. It was road rage Ryan, he would have come after your dad no matter where he stopped. This just happened to be the first place he stopped, the ATM, this is not your fault for losing your job. We are going to need you Ryan." Gibbs said as he tossed Palmer, Smith's wallet.

Jimmy handed it to Ryan and he opened the wallet. His dad had a photo of him inside. His dad loved him; it was a well-worn photo he must have shown off frequently. He realized he loved his dad more than he wanted to die. Jimmy was right, he was going to choose to find the good.

Jimmy helped Ryan stand up and guided him to the window where Torres and Gibbs helped Ryan inside. Jimmy lost his footing, and Torres caught him. Gibbs breath caught again staring at Palmer. He shook his head. Yes, he was going to kill that boy himself.

Gibbs escorted Ryan out of the room, with Torres following behind him as Dr. Mallard entered into the room. Jimmy saw the audio equipment on the table, "Dr. Mallard. What are you doing here? And you guys were listening?"

"Where else would I be but right here with you? And yes, we were listening the entire time….Doctor Palmer," Ducky replied with a smile.

Jimmy did not say anything. He just smiled back and hugged Ducky. He was happy to be alive, be inside, and have his mentor with him.

Once Ducky released the hold he had on his apprentice, he Gibbs slapped him. Jimmy rubbed the back of his head, laughing nervously, "I guess I had that one coming."

Ducky nodded, then turned to walk out of the room with Jimmy in tow and said, "Indeed you did, and I surmise you have more than that coming dear boy."

Jimmy was not completely sure what that meant, but he would soon find out.