A/N: Hoping to put even just a hint of a smile on your faces during this difficult time.
You're vain
I hate your vanity. Especially on occasions like this. You won't even listen to me after i say 'no' or 'no need', but you insist on still doing it.
"Are you ready to drop me off at my hair dresser's place?"
She asks me as she goes around searching for stuff she needs to put in her bag.
"Do I even have a choice?"
I say trying to downplay my eye roll while I'm grabbing the box of Kraft Mac and Cheese from the cupboard.
I hate your vanity. I hate how conceited and self centered you are. You want to look nice when you already look perfect. You want to look pretty when you are already beautiful.
Okay.
Wait.
Stop it.
Get it together, Alex. She isn't vain nor is she conceited and self-centered.
She could sense these things. It's like throughout the years she and I grew limbs. She grew me and I grew her. And I wouldn't want anything more.
"Did I just see an eye roll, Alex?"
Oops. She caught me.
She stopped moving as she squinted at me.
And do I see that she's trying to stifle her laughter? Why is she laughing? I'm glad that I could humor her but I have no clue why.
"No!" I say defensively. "I just... i told you that you don't need to fix your-"
She cut me off.
"Alex."
Her eyebrows are raised. She stops and looks at me in the eye. My knees are weak. She speaks again.
"This is a special occasion. I have to be dressed up and be made up."
She smiles. That smile that would melt my heart at any day, any time.
She's not yet finished talking.
"Besides, Sophia cancelled her previous appointment to make room for me. The least I could do is to be there."
She shrugs and continues to search for god-knows-what.
I snort.
"Didn't she say that you should find someone else while I was still in prison?" I click the button on the electric kettle.
I say not meaning to have an accusatory tone followed by a slightly incredulous chuckle.
"She did. But I told her I am in for the marriage. I am in for you. And look at where we are now." She smiles.
God, that smile.
"Yeah. Look at us now." I chuckle with a hint of doubt . "Not even real-world married yet."
What I said caught her off-guard.
That must have stung.
Shit. I didn't mean to.
I hate your vanity, Pipes. Especially because your hair dresser didn't believe in our love.
Wow. Am I really saying these things? I don't think I am even making sense. There's no taking it back now. Where is this even coming from?
Shit.
"Excuse me? Where is all of this coming from?" She asks me with a slightly raised voice. Now she is really looking into me.
The kettle clicked again, indicating that the water is now boiling.
Is it just me or did the water boil so fast?
I sigh. And shake my head. I know I am better than this.
"Nothing. It's... nothing." I close my eyes while I clutch on to the blue Kraft box. Other hand on the kettle's handle.
I could hear her footsteps going towards me.
And then I feel her hand on my shoulder trying to shake me out of my unreasonable stupor.
"Hey."
It's her soft mellow 'look-at-me' voice.
Just like before, I let her take over my senses. I breathe in and then breathe out as I open my eyes to look at her. I hope my eyes aren't blood shot because I was about to lose it.
I slightly turn my head to face her while still holding the Kraft Dinner and the kettle.
Wow. Why am I so emotional?
"Is this about Zelda again?"
Yes. Well, technically no. But since this is really about my insecurity, then it could be about her.
"No."
Here I am again, denying and eventually I will cave in because - Piper. That's enough of a reason, right?
She gives me a look as she raises her eyebrow in question again.
"Yes."
I close my eyes. I don't want to be a big jealous lesbian but I can't help it. Prison made me so vulnerable.
I even remember the time when I told her to go and see other people but I couldn't stop thinking about it.
"Do you remember the time she asked me to go to Northampton with her?"
I nod. She told me that once we got back together.
"How could I forget?" I ask with my voice trying to hold on, barely above a whisper.
"Did i go?"
"No."
"Where did I go?"
"Ohio."
"Because?"
"You wanted to live in Ohio instead of Northampton?" I try to lighten up the tension I caused.
"Wrong. Because I love the Cavs and I hate the Zeltics."
I roll my eyes and release the Kraft Dinner and the kettle to face her. I lean on the counter and put a hand on my hip to establish a bit of confidence even though it may currently be at a minus 100.
"Are you trying to be funny?" I look at her. "Zeltics? Really? Am I the Cavs and is Zelda the Zeltics?"
She shakes her head while her face turns slightly pink.
"My point is, I love you, Alex. I dress up for you. I make myself pretty for you and-"
I cut her off. I need to tell her how I feel.
"I know. You are beautiful, Pipes." I sigh. "I'm sorry if I get so insecure sometimes. I just can't help it that we might bump into her during my graduation ceremony tonight. I couldn't-"
This time she cuts me off. Placing her finger on my lips to shut me up.
"Is that why you've been hesitant to let me put on make up or do my hair?"
She is trying to stifle her laughter again.
Way to go, Me. I exposed my insecurity under the spell of this smart-ass, gorgeous, unbelievable love of my life.
I nod. We don't do lies anymore.
"Awww, babe! You're cute!" She pinches my cheeks.
"Ow! Stop it!" I fight back while pretending to not like her sweet gesture.
She laughs her intoxicating laugh. And then puts both her hands on my cheeks to soothe what she just pinched. She leans in and then kisses me.
It was a brief, sweet, poisonous kiss that could let me forget about everything. But then she pulls back and looks me straight in the eye with all sincerity.
"I love you and you know that. I chose, and still choose, to have a life with you. And you have nothing to be insecure about. You are the reason why I want to stick around. You made me do things I didn't even want to!" She chuckles.
I hold onto her wrists while her hands are still on my cheeks. Her thumbs still caressing and soothing the side of my face.
"Tell me. What things?" I ask her with a shy smile.
"For starters, you made me carry a bag full of drug money."
We both chuckle. I'm glad we got to a point in our lives where we just laugh about the choices we made.
She continues.
"You made me a recipient of a punch after we had sex." She raises both of her eyebrows.
I laugh. She continues.
"We had sex in a chapel. Multiple times."
"You didn't like that?"
"Well of course when I was coming already, it didn't seem like a bad idea."
I chuckle. She continues.
"You made me fight Badison."
I raise my eyebrow.
"I fought Badison for us." I retort.
She didn't budge.
"And you made me give brith to a child when all I wanted was a dog..." her face turns serious. "I only wanted a robot-dog, Alex." She started to smile, giving away her mockery.
We stare at each other lovingly. She continues but her voice is slightly shaking.
"And, about the getting married in real life thing..."
She stops and hesitates. Shit. Doesn't she want to get married in real life anymore?
I raise my eyebrow in question. She continues.
"I... I know it's been three years since you got out. Almost four even... and things just went by so fast..."
I break eye contact. This is my fault. I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable. And now I think she knows that this is the root of my insecurity. The not being legally married part. I couldn't get a word out of me so she proceeds with her monologue.
"You're about to graduate business school, I got a permanent job at the firm, we had our daughter and what might be another one on the way... I also want to be legally married to you. Our daughter's last name is Vause-Chapman for fuck's sake! Wouldn't it be nice to make mine and yours the same as hers tonight?"
She stops rambling. It's just too many words clouding my mind at the moment.
Let me go through that again. One by one.
Her words remind me that:
One, I am about to graduate tonight, yes, I started studying during the last year of my stay in prison and finished just this year. And for some mother fucking freakish coincidence, Zelda will be there. (This is a story for another day) Which kind of bothers me but also I don't give a fuck. I just don't like the fact that she and my wife (technically my wife-to-be) has history.
Two, she is now a Prisoner Rights Lawyer. And I am so fucking proud of her for it. She helped me with some of the legal matters before I got out. Albeit still a starting one, she got offered a permanent position in the firm she interned at.
Three, yes, we decided that we are going to start a family. And, like what I told her during one of our phone calls while I was still in Litchfield, a child could take care of us when we get older. And now we have a little growing blonde upstairs. That time, she only wanted a robot-dog. And then there might be another one on th-
I look at her in the eyes this time.
"Did you just say 'there might be another one on the way'?"
Is she serious? It worked the second time around?
"It's still a might. I haven't checked but I'm already a week delayed."
Her eyes are bright. Filled with love and tears - the happy kind.
I shake my head frantically.
My eyes widen as another realization just sank in. I don't even know which thought to tackle first. The fact that we might have another child on the way or the fact that-
I cut my own train of thought.
"Did you say we can change our last names tonig-"
Now she cuts me off.
"I didn't want to tell you yet until after tonight but now seems like the appropriate ti-"
Her tears are about to fall. The happy kind.
"Did you set thi-"
I shake my head frantically again. Not knowing what to ask.
"Are we getting real-world married tonight?!"
I ask incredulously. I am not complaining.
"Like you would have let me live it down if we didn't get real-world married."
My eyes widen while I remember saying those words years ago in prison.
"Hey! That is my line!"
I say with a shaky voice.
We both chuckle nervously.
She deeply inhales and then exhales slowly before speaking.
I wrap my arms around her waist wanting her to be closer.
"Surprise?"
She tries and it's cute. Again, she's not done yet.
"I wanted to surprise you after you graduate tonight. I think it's the perfect time. You can also graduate from being just my, technically, fiancé."
She shrugs.
"You've been my wife for years, Piper."
I say it because it feels that way.
"But I think, being a legal eagle, that it would be nice to be official on paper..."
Her voice turns soft.
Oops. She might think I don't want this. But, of course, I do. That's what this insecurity is all about. Who am I kidding? Of course she won't think that because she knows me too well.
"It is." I smile at her.
The Kraft dinner and kettle were totally forgotten on the side.
"I was thinking, you made our prison wedding happen. How about I make it the real deal this time?"
My tears finally spill. The happy kind.
Why did I feel insecure again? Oh, this started with her vanity. Why did I hate her vanity again?
"You better start making that mac and cheese because you know she'll come downstairs any minute now."
She slightly bursts my bubble as she reminds me.
"Autumn is not gonna like it when she hears about being just an option against a robot-dog, babe."
I try to lighten up but my tears keep on falling.
She wipes them away.
We smile at each other.
My happy tears fall even more.
Why am I so emotional?
She leans in to kiss me again and again. It is explosive but silent. It is deadly but sweet. It is everything I could hope for.
The penny drops in this distracted mind of mine.
That's why you want to get dressed for the occasion. Because you are going to marry me. For real this time. - As always, I talk to her in my mind.
We don't stop kissing tenderly.
Until...
Her phone startles us and we suddenly pull away. She digs in her bag for her phone.
"Shit. I'm late. It's Sophia. Can you drop me off now, babe?"
I sigh. I could've kissed you longer.
I hate your vanity, Pipes
A/N: Should I continue? Thoughts? I wrote it this way so that it could count as a one-shot. if ever I decide to continue, I will write the whole series like this through either Alex, Piper, or Autumn's POV. Something new to try. Also, it's nice to write out my anxieties during this time. i hope you guys are doing well.