DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fate or Red vs. Blue. Both are properties of Nasu-sensei and RoosterTeeth.

Hey.

You ever wonder why we're here?

DIGITAL GULCH

Sinking.

Emptiness.

A void.

An endless sea.

Hakuno Kishinami could barely register these things as she fell further and further into a bottomless ocean that would swallow her. Bits and pieces of data, parts of her own body, were floating upwards while she sank. Her body was breaking apart, piece by piece. Slowly, each function that made up the human body and mind was being deleted in a thorough manner.

A good chunk of her torso was gone. Her right leg was gone and the deletion was crawling up towards the rest of her. Two of her fingers on her left hand were missing. Even a portion of her face – the lower-left side of her jaw and cheek – was erased.

She could barely think. Her mind was in a haze. Her earliest memories were fragmented. She could barely recall them, yet they were little more than blurry images with people whose names she could no longer recall.

A beautiful woman in red, sword in hand with a bright smile on par with the sun.

A fox woman in a blue kimono who clung to her with incredible affection.

A man in a red cloak whose back was facing her, standing between his Master and an enemy with twin swords in hand.

A girl in a red sweater who she wanted to call a friend.

A girl with dark skin who couldn't expression emotion clearly.

There were more faces, people that she felt were important, but she couldn't recall them. Even now, her identity was being erased. The girl that was called "Hakuno Kishinami."

All because she wanted to survive and live through this hellish experience. This "Holy Grail War" she had no choice but to participate in.

But…why did she have to fight again? What was she supposed to do? It was so hard to remember.

"I…"

She tried to think about what it was that she wanted, fighting so many people. But what was it? What?

Warning. Warning. Warning.
Velber Intrusion Detected.
Deploying countermeasures.

"I…want to…"

A faint light began to shimmer from the ocean's surface. Something breached and inched closer to her. It looked inviting to her, as though stretching out a hand for aid. On instinct, her only functioning arm moved to reach out for it.

"I…want to…live…"

…Confirmed.
Moon Cell Ruler Registration Confirmed.
Granting Regalia To Designated Inheritor

A multi-colored light began to form on her ring finger. As if reacting in response to this light, Hakuno felt lighter. The haze clouding her mind was slowly peeling away and fading. A blue light began to fill in the void within her body. The hole in her face shrank, replaced with flesh. Her leg grew from its degrading stump. Her fingers returned. The missing chunk of torso reformed.

As more and more of her senses returned, Hakuno began to see the outstretched hand reaching towards her.

Countermeasures Failed.
Velber Has Breached Moon Cell Core.
Threat To Designated Inheritor Has Been Detected.

Danger. Fear. Pain. These things bubbled from the depths of her heart and rose to the surface. She couldn't see the hand clearly nor who owned it. A giant black shadow glaring down at her. Its presence alone was threatening to break her apart. Red eyes that burned like fire stared emptily at her like a ravenous abyss threatening to devour her.

The shadow's hand inched closer towards her.

Hakuno opened her mouth to scream-

Allocated Message To Regalia.
Transferring Inheritor.

-and "Hakuno Kishinami" felt her world cRAccccCcKkkKKKKkkkkKK-

-bzt-

EP 1: The New Kid

It was warm.

That was the first thing that came to Hakuno's mind when her brain finally started back up. The second thing she noticed was that she was lying flat on her stomach against solid rock and out in the sun. It was incredibly uncomfortable as she felt tiny pebbles and rocks digging into her body. She pushed herself off the rocky surface and clamored up to her feet, swaying slightly. She felt a light-headed rush pass through her mind before it passed.

"Where is…?"

Staring out in front of her was an unfamiliar sight. A rocky canyon that stretched out as far as the eye could see, sky bright blue with nary a cloud in sight. Instead, what looked like a strip of something ran from one end of the sky to the other like half of a ring. It was hard to make out, but whatever it was, it certainly wasn't from anything she knew.

She frowned, rubbing her temple while looking through her memories. Something happened while she was in the Moon Cell Core. The Moon Cell tried to delete her, but then something happened. Then it gave her something…

She looked at her hand. On her ring finger was a silver band with a gemstone the color of fire. The shade brought Saber to mind, bright smile and all.

Strange, though. She could have sworn it was another color…

Hakuno sighed and shook her head. Another look at her hand showed the faded red tattoo of her Command Seal. She could not feel a link between her or her Servant, meaning they weren't with her. She didn't even know where exactly she was. Her surroundings were radically different from what she was used to.

Was this place even in the Moon Cell at all?

If it wasn't, then…

…for now, it was better to find shelter and gather information.

Clearing her head, Hakuno set off in search of some kind of sign she wasn't alone, or at least someone friendly. She had to gather information. Plus, if she was in hostile territory, it wouldn't be wise to stand around in one place for too long where she would be in grave danger. An enemy could take her down easily.

Finding a settlement proved to be easier than she expected. Hakuno had been walking for maybe a minute or so before she came across what looked like a military base of some kind. The plated steel that made up its exterior and the red banners that decorated it kind of gave it away. A quick glance showed there was no one present or guarding it, however. Perhaps it had been abandoned or was not being maintained?

Either way, it'd make a great shelter. The heat was murder.

Hakuno entered the base, stepping inside and was greeted with cool air. She breathed a small sigh of relief while tugging at her collar. If the outside meant anything, it was rather spacious so she would have a lot of ground to cover. She only hoped that-

Oh. Nevermind, there were people here.

Before she could properly begin her investigation, she saw someone stroll out into the corridor. At first she thought it was a hostile program, but it lacked the cybernetic frame and sense of danger she'd known them to possess. Furthermore, they were wearing rather futuristic armor painted vibrant pink with a orange visor stretched across their helm, rifle stuck to their back with no strap or armament. Perhaps it was magnetically attached?

They gave no feeling of being hostile, but Hakuno was hesitant to approach. There was no guarantee that they weren't entirely hostile or docile. Chances were that they could approach her with ill-intent. The fact that they were wielding a weapon wasn't helping matters much, either.

Hakuno debated whether or not she should retreat and plan her investigation another time, though by the time she made her decision to call it a day and seek shelter elsewhere, the pink soldier noticed her presence.

"Oh, hi there!" She blinked as the pink soldier approached her, voice cheery and full of jolly. They even waved at her. She knew then that the soldier was friendly. "What are you doing here?"

That was a bit of an odd question, namely because she had no idea how to answer that properly. Should she make up some kind of excuse? Maybe she could claim she got lost? Would that even work in a situation like this?

"I…"

"Hey, you're uniform is really cute!" the pink soldier commented. "Actually, it kinda looks like a school uniform, too."

"It is," Hakuno nodded. While she wouldn't quite say she was a student, Tsukumihara was a school in spite of its fake status as the hub whenever the masters weren't killing each other.

"Wow, neat. I really would have liked a uniform at my school, buuut we didn't have one. Well, not that I was going to complain since I at least got to wear whatever I wanted, so long as it matched the school's dress code," the pink soldier continued. "Are you a middle schooler?"

"I…think so?" In all honesty, she really wasn't sure. The masters all looked like they were in their teens, but it was never clear if Tsukumihara Academy was a middle school or a high school. She wanted to believe it was the former, though.

"That's pretty cool! Ooh, are you here for a field trip?"

Crap, he went back to the subject she wanted to avoid. Maybe she could trick him?

"Yo, Donut! What's the hold up? Sarge wants us out in like the next ten minutes."

Hakuno internally sighed. This really wasn't going the way she hoped it would.

Another soldier appeared and approached their pink comrade, this one somehow straining his armor with his weight as evident of the massive girth of his stomach and the audible groan of his armor struggling to keep his body fat contained within. In contrast to his fellow's pink armor, he wore gold armor. Or was it orange? She couldn't tell.

"Oh, sorry 'bout that, Grif!" the pink soldier, now named Donut, apologized sincerely. "I got to talking with our new friend here and I kinda got distracted. Say, doesn't her uniform look so friggin' cute?"

"Donut, the hell're you…" the orange soldier trailed off when he saw Hakuno and stared at her. She stared back impassively. He made no moves to attack her or even reach for his rifle, so she assumed he was friendly. "…huh. Okay, maybe I'm still a little hungover from our victory party over the Blues from last week. Cause last time I checked, I was pretty sure Blood Gulch doesn't have any schools."

Two soldiers, both armed and in armor. In the event they turned hostile, could she even properly fight back or push them away with her Code Casts? If she had her Servant with her, perhaps she could escape.

What should she do? Fight or flee? Wait and see? Which was the best course of action to take in this situation?

"So, who the hell is she supposed to be anyway?" Grif asked bluntly.

"Oh, she's-" Donut suddenly gasped in realization. "Ooh, shoot! I never asked for your name! I'm really sorry! Oh, how about I introduce myself first? My name is Franklin Delano Donut!"

She blinked. "…I'm sorry," she said. "But did you just say your name was Donut?"

"Mm-hm! That's my family name, and I wear it with pride!"

Grif turned his head slightly to the side and muttered, "Yeah, what little of it you've got…" He cleared his throat and spoke up. "I'm Dexter Grif, but just call me Grif. 'Dexter' makes me sound like some kinda serial killer. How 'bout you, kid? Got a name?"

"Kishinami, Hakuno."

"Sounds foreign!" Donut chirped. "And veeery anime. Are you from Japan?"

"I think so?" She really couldn't remember where she was born or where she came from. All she knew was that she was in a city engulfed by a terrorist attack and that was it. She remembered nothing besides that fact.

"You think?" Grif asked skeptically before he groaned. "Okay, you know what? This whole 'get to know you' segment feels way too damn long, so why don't we just skip to the good part and ask what the hell you're doing here."

"I…" What should she say? The truth, an excuse maybe? After weighing her options and glancing behind her for an escape route in case things turned ugly, then at the soldiers, she decided to answer truthfully. "I don't know. I just woke up here."

The two stared. "…wait, seriously?" Grif sounded incredulous. "You just woke up here? In Blood Gulch? In the middle of a bum-fuck-Egypt?"

Hakuno tilted her head. "Is that where we are? Blood Gulch?"

For some odd reason, Grif choked and began to cough angrily. Donut squealed. "Oh my gawd, you are just the most adorable, most cutest little thing I've ever seen! Hey, Grif! Do you think Sarge would mind if we took her in?"

"W-what?!" Grif continued to cough until he managed to regain control over his breathing, staring at the pink soldier. "Donut, are you nuts?! What if Sarge finds out about her?! I dunno 'bout you, but the last thing I want to see is him going on some tirade on how the Blues tried employing a civie as an assassin or some other dumb shit. I say you ring up Command, they take her home, and we forget this ever happened."

"But Griiiiiiiiif-"

"Donut, for the love of god, do not make me play the straight man here. Let me be my lazy-ass self. Please." Grif begged. "And besides, even if Sarge did let her stay at the bus, where would she stay?! We only have four bunk beds! And I am so not about to spoon with a freaking kid!" He shuddered at the thought. "Much less hear Simmons go into total stutter meltdown mode."

What were they talking about? Were they considering letting her stay here? From the sounds of it, though, it sounded like she needed permission from this 'Sarge' person first.

Taking her situation into account, maybe it would be best if she could try and negotiate with this 'Sarge.' And if worse came to worse, she could always just ask the soldiers for info about the canyon and scrounge for supplies. She technically did that back in the Moon Cell, gathering supplies for herself and her Servant as well as money for supplies at the cashier and at the Nurse's Office.

"…could I talk with Sarge?" Hakuno requested.

It was hard to tell with the helmet hiding his face, but the way Grif shuffled in place made it seem as though he was nervous. "Yeah, I don't think that's a good idea, kid…"

"Why not?" Donut seemed open to the suggestion. "You never know! Besides, we could always use a girl to help spruce up the base! Hey, don't the Blues have a girl over there too?"

"Yeah, until you blew her ass to kingdom come." Grif sighed, shaking his head. "…well, okay. I guess trying to ask Sarge to let you stay might not be so bad. But don't expect anything, okay kid? Sarge is, er… Well, let's just say he's crotchety ol' bastard who-"

"GRIF! DONUT! WHERE IN SAM HILL ARE YOU LAZY BONES?!" a voice with immense authority boomed like thunder, bouncing off the walls of the base and emanating from outside the base. "FRONT AND CENTER ON THE DOUBLE!"

"Yes, sir!" Donut called back. "Why don't you wait in the locker room?! We'll be right back!"

"God dammit…"

Donut skipped out of the base while Grif reluctantly followed behind him. Hakuno watched them go curiously, wondering if they could succeed in helping her negotiate with 'Sarge' in letting her stay here. In the meantime, she supposed she could wait.

She made her way to the area Donut pointed to; a box room lined with five lockers, four of which were decorated with items and photographs while the other had oil stains painted all over it. At the far back of the room were bunk beds, each shown to be in use. One bed was the epitome of 'pig sty' in that it was covered in empty wrappers, chip bags and things that were better left alone. The bed above it was neatly cleaned and cared for, sheets and bedding freshly washed. The third bed had bright yellow sheets with flower decorations and a pillowcase showing what she assumed was a cartoon mascot depicting a cartoonish white kitty. The last one was messy but still clean compared to the first one, though she noted that some of the bar railings circling the bed were bent out of shape.

Why were there five lockers, but only four bunk beds?

Hakuno wondered if that locker was a spare or belonged to one of the four soldiers stationed here. Regardless, she took a seat on the bed with the yellow sheets. All she could do now was wait until the soldiers returned with news.

Taking another glance around the room, Hakuno spotted a stack of books piled up next to the disgusting bed beside her, acting as a makeshift stand for a night light. The book at the top caught her attention and gently removed it without disturbing the rest of the stack or the night light that was atop it.

"Health Prep 101: A Medicine Guide So Easy Even Dummies Can Understand…"

Well, that was a rather long title…

…eh. She had nothing better to do anyway. Without further ado, she opened the book and began reading.

"...god fucking dammit, Tucker. I knew you were desperate, but jesus man, I didn't know you'd resort to kidnapping."

"What? Fuck, Church! I'm not a pedophile! She's like, what? 15? 16? I do have standards! And technically, I wasn't the one who found her! That was Caboose!"

"That explains why... Hey, wait. Who the heck even is she?"

"You're just NOW asking that?! Hell if I know. All I know is that Caboose either has a huge crush on her, maybe as big as the one he's got on you, or he finally found somebody that won't insult him every five seconds."

"Is she here in the base?"

"Dude, when we found her, she was wearing a freaking uniform. Like the kind you'd see in those anime shows. And its freaking hot outside too, so we had to bring her in and get her in something with an AC attached. She looked ready to die of a heat stroke."

"What, did you dig up Captain Flowers' grave and grab your old-ass armor?"

"Nah, turns out we had a spare suit of armor hanging around here in storage."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…sooooo, what do we do? Do we leave her out in the canyon for the Reds to find? Look after her? What?"

"...tch. Fine. But since Caboose found her, she's his responsibility."

"Bet you ten bucks she died in the first week."

"I'll take that action. What's the little shit's name anyway?"

"I think she said her name was Haku or something? Shit, I dunno man. She looks foreign. Maybe she's an illegal immigrant or some shit."

Roses are red, and violets are blue
One day we'll cruise down Blood Gulch Avenue

Its red versus red, and blue versus blue
It's I against I and me against you

AUTHOR'S NOTE: …so. This is a thing.

I've officially lost my mind. Like, what the actually fuck am I writing?

…eh. I blame RoosterTeeth for making such an addictive show.

At any rate, this is the third, and currently the last "Digital Human" spin-off I will write until my current lineup of stories has been updated significantly up to a point where I feel comfortable stopping at for a time or one has been completed. Most likely the latter, given what I want to write and show you all so badly.

Don't expect too much action from this story, since this is mainly focusing on comedy and the likes. As you've no doubt noticed, I'm going down the "Extella" route where Hakuno's been separated into her Mind, Body and Soul. Obviously, her Soul is with the Reds and the Mind is with the Blues. So, where's her Body?

That, I'm afraid, won't be answered for a while.

At any rate.. Prepare yourselves, Reds and Blues. For you…are not ready for the Head Tilt.