Passing Chances

Just when Wei Wuxian was wondering if maybe everyone's lives would have been better if he had never been found by the Jiang sect, a spirit sends him back to that very day. Given the chance to change history, will he do it?

…

…

"Wei Ying!"

Wei Wuxian's head felt like it was splitting open, breaking at the seams, and it was all he could do to keep his hands pressed tightly to it to hold himself together. It hurt so much! It hurt it hurt it hurt!

And then it didn't.

At first, he didn't open his eyes, worried that the slightest light hitting them would bring back the pain. But something was wrong.

The moldy smell of the cave where he and Lan Zhan had been fighting the spirit was gone, replaced by cooking food and fresh hay. The sound of the spirit's wailing and Lan Zhan desperate cry as it attacked had vanished, and now he could hear a squeaky cart, a distance dog bark, and the noise of everyday conversations. The air even felt wrong. The cave had been cool and damp. Now the air was warm and dry.

Slowly blinking his eyes, Wei Wuxian was met with the most unbelievable sight. He was standing in the small space between two buildings that lined the main thoroughfare of a town he didn't recognize. This was not where he and Lan Zhan had spent the night before heading out to handle the resentful spirit haunting the cave. This was no town Wei Wuxian knew at all.

Which wasn't saying much, because his memory was notoriously awful, but still.

"How?" He wandered from one end of the buildings to the other, from the main road to a smaller side road. "Where exactly am I?"

All of the people wandering about appeared to be natives of the town, not travelers. They chatted with each other like old friends and offered discounts, invited each other back to their homes or out for a drink.

"Lan Zhan!" Wei Wuxian called, his hands cupped around his mouth to project his voice, without a care to the attention he was drawing. "Lan Zhan!"

Even after a full minute, Lan Zhan did not appear. That was even stranger. Since being resurrected, Lan Zhan had never been far from his side. Even when they were apart, it was as if Lan Zhan could hear him anywhere and would appear at a moment's notice if he was needed.

Had the spirit transported him somewhere far away? They had been travelling near Baling. So maybe he was nearer Yiling now? At least, the mountains looked right to be Yiling. The air smelled reminiscent of all those trips he took into town while living in the Burial Mounds. But could a spirit send him that far away?

The only thing for it was to ask someone. If necessary, he could send a messenger with a letter so he and Lan Zhan could meet up somewhere.

His stomach rumbled and Wei Wuxian grimaced. He hadn't had much of an appetite that morning, too hung up on the dream he had the night before, and now he was starving. Before he started asking around, he would buy some food.

There was a stand selling fresh melons and Wei Wuxian fumbled around in his pockets for any coins. Luckily, Lan Zhan had a habit of sneaking a purse of money somewhere on Wei Wuxian's person, so he had plenty of money for the melon. Two even.

"Mmmm! So good!" He practically danced around with pleasure as the succulent fruit slid over his tongue and abated his hunger. With one of the melons gone, his stomach stopped protesting and he was again able to focus on his situation.

There was a man sweeping the front of a tavern across the street. Wei Wuxian had just made up his mind to call out to the man and strike up a conversation when he saw something else that stole his breath away. There, walking down the street dressed in purple and black robes, was—

"Uncle Jiang?"

There was absolutely no way it could be true, and yet it was. Jiang Fengmian was making his way through town, his eyes casting about like he was looking for something. Though cultivation made telling age difficult, Jiang Fengmian looked younger than Wei Wuxian remembered him from the night he died. His expression was less solemn too, though worry made lines on his face.

Wei Wuxian stumbled back a step, then turned and hurried out of sight before he could be spotted. His dream from the night before came rushing back.

Him, standing in a Lotus Pier that was never destroyed. All the old familiar buildings and people were there. Jiang Cheng had been wandering the stalls, much like he and Wei Wuxian used to do before the Sunshot Campaign, with a young woman at his side. When she turned to point at a stand across the way, Wei Wuxian had seen she was pregnant. She held Jiang Cheng's hand and he smiled at her like she was something precious. His wife.

Then it had blurred into a scene of Jiang Yanli with Jin Zixuan and a teenage Jin Ling. Jin Zixuan was teaching Jin Ling a sword technique, and the younger Jin's face had been adorably serious. Then Jiang Yanli had appeared, with servants carrying trays laden with lotus and pork rib soup. Jin Ling's face lit up and all his seriousness vanished. Even Jin Zixuan had softened at the appearance of his wife.

They sat down to eat, and Jiang Fengmian and Madam Yu had joined them. Madam Yu looked as strict and formidable as ever, while Jiang Fengmian had a hint of gray in his hair. Jin Ling had called him 'grandfather' and—

Wei Wuxian had woken up in tears, and even Lan Zhan could not completely soothe him.

"What if that's what their lives would have been like without me?" he had asked. "What if they could have all been happy if Uncle Jiang never took pity on me?"

Lan Zhan had held him, rubbing a hand up and down his back and through his hair, and said, "They were just as happy with you." Then, as if he knew the next thought in Wei Wuxian's mind, he bent to Wei Wuxian's ear and said, "I am happy with you."

That had helped a little, but Wei Wuxian had never fully gone back to sleep, and his appetite in the morning was almost nonexistent, and then they had gone to fight the spirit in the cave, and then—

Wei Wuxian staggered back onto the main street, breathing ragged, melon clutched tightly in his hand.

Was this another dream? Was he asleep? Was he injured and this was some fever dream?

The owner of the nearest stall shouted angrily. "Get lost! Go! Go!" He rushed toward a small child digging in the trash scrap pile, waving the knife he used to cut his fruit. The child gave a tiny yelp and hurried away. The man scoffed. "Dirty little thief."

Wei Wuxian might throw up. He recognized that little boy. That was him, with his ragged clothing and dirty appearance, from after his parents had died. And if Jiang Fengmian was there, it meant this really was Yiling. This was the day he was found and saved by Jiang Fengmian, taken home to be part of their family.

But for that to be true, the spirit would have had to send him through time, not just space.

"Excuse me, Mister," Wei Wuxian asked the stall owner once he had turned away from the fleeing child. "What is the date?"

The answer confirmed Wei Wuxian's wildest fears. If this was not a dream, then it seemed the spirit had thrown him over thirty years into the past! For a moment, the world spun and Wei Wuxian felt he might actually faint. He had to hold the edge of the stall with his free hand to stay upright.

"Hey! Are you drunk? It's barely noon!" the stall owner chastised.

Wei Wuxian shook his head and walked off with barely a wave goodbye.

How was he meant to get back to the present? The spirit that haunted that cave would not appear for thirty years. He couldn't wait that long. And he had never before heard of anyone traveling through time, at least not outside of a novel.

Jiang Fengmian crossed into view again and Wei Wuxian stopped dead in the middle of the street as a thought struck him.

If this were truly the past, could he change the future by his actions? Could he prevent the deaths of the Jiang sect? Of Cloud Recesses? Could he stop all the horrible things that would come to pass?

Had not all their problems started with him? Not just what happened to Lotus Pier, but everything. Jin Zixuan. Jiang Yanli. Wen Qing and Wen Ning. Even the problems at the cultivation conference when they were teenagers in the Cloud Recesses. He had started every stupid plan that landed them in trouble.

Jiang Fengmian headed down the road toward him, away from where the child Wei Ying had run. If—If he never found Wei Ying—

"I am happy with you."

Wei Wuxian's breath caught.

"There is no guarantee that things would have been better without you." Lan Zhan had whispered it in his ear as he wept. "The Wen sect would have found another reason to attack us. Jin Guangyao would have used someone else to further his plans. But without you, would we have been brave enough to stop them?"

Without Wei Wuxian, would the Sunshot Campaign have been successful? Would the Junior disciples have died on one of their night hunts? Would Xue Yang have been defeated? And what would have happened if, even without Wei Wuxian there, Lotus Pier was attacked and Jiang Cheng lost his core? Who would save him?

Without Wei Wuxian around, who would be there for Lan Zhan? Lan Zhan who said, 'I am used to being alone'? Lan Zhan who had always travelled alone and worked alone? Lan Zhan who everyone thought was cold like jade, but who cared so much he could hardly stand it?

Lan Zhan was right. There was no guarantee of a happier life for the Jiang sect – for anyone – if he had never been picked up. But if he wasn't around, Lan Zhan would probably still be alone, and Lan Sizhui would be dead, and that was something Wei Wuxian couldn't live with.

"Mister," Wei Wuxian called out just as Jiang Fengmian passed him by. "Mister, you're a cultivator, right?"

Jiang Fengmian was taken off guard for a moment, his attention pulled from his search. Then, remembering the role of a cultivator, he nodded. "I am. Is something the matter?"

Wei Wuxian nodded. "There's a little boy wandering around on his own. Five years old. He looks like he's been on his own for awhile." Even as hope lifted Jiang Fengmian's expression, Wei Wuxian held out the remaining melon in his hands. "He was digging for scraps just now. Could you—" He cleared his throat. "Could you give him this for me, Cultivator-qianbei?"

Jiang Fengmian accepted the melon, though he lifted a curious eyebrow at Wei Wuxian. "Why not give it to him yourself?"

"Ah." Wei Wuxian laughed and put his hands behind his head. "I'm not a righteous cultivator like yourself. What if I scared him worse than he already is?"

That seemed to placate any fears Jiang Fengmian had. He nodded, accepting the task. "Where is the boy?" And he could not hide the hope in his voice.

With a hand that only barely shook, Wei Wuxian pointed down the road to where he had seen the young Wei Ying run. "That way." He bowed. "Thank you, Cultivator-qianbei."

Jiang Fengmian also bowed, though it looked a bit strange with the melon held so carefully in his hands. "Thank you," he insisted.

Then he headed off in the direction Wei Wuxian had pointed, his steps purposeful and quick. Wei Wuxian watched him go, his heart heavy.

"Even though it ends…We'll be happy while it lasts," he murmured to himself. His eyes filled with tears. "Thank you for everything, and I'm so sorry." Wei Wuxian bowed deeply to the now distant form of Jiang Fengmian. "I was proud to call you family."

"Wei Ying!"

"Wei-gongzi!"

The head splitting pain returned with gusto, and Wei Ying dropped to his knees, clutching his head once more. It went on and on, until he could not hold in a scream of pain any longer. It ripped out of him, a pleading note of agony.

And then it stopped.

The smell of damp earth, the sounds of forest animals, and the feel of cool night air washed over him. There was a gasp, and then, "Hanguang-Jun! He's here!"

Wei Wuxian opened his eyes just as hands grabbed his arm and found Lan Sizhui kneeling in the dirt beside him. He was in the forest, just in front of the cave where he and Lan Zhan had encountered the spirit.

"Sizhui, when did you—"

He was cut off by the arrival of Lan Zhan, looking as harried as he ever had – which was to say not much at all, unless you knew how to read him. His jaw was tense, his eyes were just a bit wide, and his hands were clenched tightly at his side as he hurried over.

"Lan Zhan."

Lan Zhan too dropped to his knees, and then Wei Wuxian was pulled into a rough hug. "You disappeared. You screamed and disappeared."

Wei Wuxian wrapped his arms around Lan Zhan just as tightly. "I'm okay. I promise."

If they hadn't been holding each other, Wei Wuxian would have missed the way Lan Zhan shook. As much as being transported through time had upended Wei Wuxian's world, it had terrified Lan Zhan.

"Hanguang-Jun. Wei-gongzi." Lan Sizhui pointed toward the cave, where the spirit had appeared.

It bore the barest resemblance to a human woman – a face hovering in mist and shadow that sometimes grew arms to grab someone, or touch their face and send them traveling through time. Whichever.

Lan Zhan was up and standing in front of Wei Wuxian with Bichen drawn in half a second, Lan Sizhui beside him. Wei Wuxian himself was a little slower to stand. He was exhausted, suddenly and entirely.

"The chance…you wanted…Why?" Though the airy voice came from the spirit, her mouth did not move. She frowned, confused and upset.

The chance he wanted?

She had somehow known he was having doubts about how his life had gone, and had sent him back to the moment that would have altered everything so he could change it. Wei Wuxian shook his head and wrapped his arms around Lan Sizhui and Lan Zhan. The action pulled them closer together and made standing battle ready exceedingly difficult.

"I appreciate the gesture, but I've already lived through losing one family. I'm not about to let go of this one. Okay?" And he even threw in a wink, like he could charm the spirit.

She tilted her head first one way, then another, observing him like he was a fascinating puzzle. Finally, she said, "Understood."

Her spirit moved on after that. Her dying wish must have been to change something in her life. Wei Wuxian accepting his life despite a real chance to change it had helped her come to peace.

…

…

It wasn't until they were heading back to town to sleep that Lan Sizhui explained how Lan Zhan had fetched him on his way back from his own hunt nearby. Wei Wuxian had been gone for most of the day and they had grown more worried by the minute.

"Huh. So odd. I was only there long enough to burn a stick of incense, if that," Wei Wuxian mused from atop his donkey. He was too tired to walk even if he wanted to – though his energy was slowly returning – and Lan Zhan wouldn't let him anyway.

Lan Sizhui frowned, curious. "Where were you?"

Wei Wuxian looked up at the star dotted sky. The moon was nearly full and lit up the early night. "The day Jiang Fengmian found me wandering the streets and took me home. She was giving me the chance to change my life, and everyone else's."

Lan Zhan's hand, which had been resting on Wei Wuxian's thigh, suddenly gripped his leg, drawing Wei Wuxian's eyes. On his other side, Lan Sizhui's eyes were wide.

"Did you really travel through time, Wei-gongzi?" he asked.

"Ahh," Wei Wuxian shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe it was just a vision based on my memory. Maybe it was real. Doesn't really matter." He pat Lan Sizhui on the head and placed a hand overtop Lan Zhan's on his leg. "I'm pretty pleased with how my life turned out, and I wouldn't change a thing. What if I lost my precious a-Yuan and Lan-er-gege?"

Though it was clear he still didn't quite understand, Lan Sizhui beamed at him, recognizing the compliment. Lan Zhan turned his hand over so they could lace their fingers together and leaned into his leg.

…

…

When they laid down to sleep that night, Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan shared a room and Lan Sizhui was in the room directly next door. Lan Zhan put his hands on every inch of Wei Wuxian, reassuring himself that his husband was really there. Later, they laid wrapped up in each other, Wei Wuxian cuddled against Lan Zhan's chest.

"You did not change anything?" Lan Zhan asked.

What he was really asking was 'Why?' Wei Wuxian had been so upset last night, so certain that everyone's life would be better without him. So what had changed his mind?

"Like you said. There's no guarantee that anyone's life would be better with me gone, but I know a few people whose lives would be a lot worse." He gave a short grin. "Mine included." Placing a kiss on Lan Zhan's scar, he mumbled, "I love you too much to leave you. You know that, right?"

Lan Zhan shifted and pulled Wei Wuxian up so he could give him a kiss. "Mm. I am glad."

With a smile, Wei Wuxian planted another kiss on his husband's lips. "Mm. I'm glad too."

…

…

fin