Disclaimer: I don't own anything. All rights to respective owners.

A/N: Here is the second part of my exchange fic for Antigone2! I was so happy to see you guys liked the last part and thank you for the faves, follows, and reviews! I hope you like part 2 just as much!

And I hope you like it Antigone2! You're such an AMAZING writer and it was a blast writing something for you! Thank you to UglyGreenJacket again for hosting this incredible exchange for the fandom! And of course, big thank you to FloraOne for her tremendous help on this fic. Like I said last time, this girl is a R-O-C-K-S-T-A-R.

Anyway, I can gush about these wonderful people all day but I know you guys just want to get to the writing so behold Part 2/Epilogue!

Part II

"I reach for you

But you were gone

I knew I had to go back home

You searched the world for something else

To make you feel like what we had

And in the end in wonderland we both went mad"

She had cried for two weeks after their memories came back. Two weeks to shift through a span of memories and two weeks to accept that the boy she had loved since middle school would never love her, even with a whole lifetime crammed into his head.

He told her that they should have a choice, that memories shouldn't dictate their emotions and actions in the present and she wanted to scream that they didn't, but she had gone so cold and numb at what he was saying.

He didn't want her.

And even if it would cause her all the pain in the world, she had to accept it. She felt like going crazy, insane even, when she braced herself to knock on his door to reassure him that he was right. She might hate it, she might die from it, but who was she to force his feelings over a life of long dead memories? It was the right thing to do, and if he didn't want her on this basis, they shouldn't be together.

On the elevator ride down, she'd broken down and would not stop crying. Now she had her answer to the question she had never dared to ask.

She kept crying at home, in the shower, in her bed, because a new memory would flood back into her brain like a picture show, and she just could not stop thinking about him.

He was Mamoru. The cool, stoic upperclassman that had teased her forever and she had to force herself to hate him sometimes. Because he was sweet, funny, and snarky even with his obnoxious eye rolls, and she could never get enough of it. And god, when he smiled, Usagi had honestly never seen anything more beautiful.

Even before this painful memory-mess, she had fallen hard and kept falling. Even more when he started college and she didn't see him for three weeks, never realizing how much she missed him until he finally walked in. She spent weeks after that denying what her heart was screaming at her, that he was an obnoxious, spiteful jerk.

Then one day at the Crown, having slipped and fallen with a milkshake in hand, and she had half-expected him to be the first one to crack a joke, but in reality, he had been the first one to offer his hand and to help her get cleaned up in the back. She'd sniffled, watching him grab damp cloths and rolls of paper towels, helping her gently clean off her favorite drink from her face and why was it that day she realized?

Why was it that stupid moment she realized?

Because he had actually been nice to her for once? Was it because of those soft eyes he held that day, or the gentle touch he used to clean her face. Why was it that at one of her most embarrassing, stupid moments that it hit her how in love she was with this stupid, perfect, infuriating human being.

Afterwards, she had tried relentlessly to be near him, to be close. She'd hoped that maybe one day he might actually see her and want her. It was ridiculous how much she tried to prove to him that she could be better, that she could be someone for him.

When she graduated, she had practically hit him over the head with her diploma to show it off. And when she'd scored her manga intern job, she had flaunted it right in front of him countless times just so he would know that, 'hey, she's not a screw up!'.

It was so idiotic and she cringed at her antics later, realizing it was childish and stupid that she was doing this much for a guy who in the end would never date her no matter how much she tried to change or grow up.

And after years of waiting, she finally had a chance and he had squashed it so fast it had made her head spin. A whole extra year they didn't know about and alter egos with past selves and in the end, none of those things mattered.

If even a shared love in a tragic past life wasn't enough to make him fall for her, what chance did she ever have?

Obviously, she'd broken up with Itsuki right after it had all come back. It wasn't fair to be with someone when you knew your heart was someone else's, when you suddenly compared them to someone they could never live up to. And yet, two months later she broke that resolve anyway. In the hopes of someday getting over the prince that didn't want her, she agreed to go out with Mako's coworker. Maybe, just maybe she would find someone who at least could make her forget. Maybe she could find what she once had and it would make it all better.

It was so pathetic and every bone in her body ached when she saw him and it never stopped. And so, instead she pretended to hate him, avoided him, spoke with him only if it was senshi stuff, because she had convinced herself that the less she saw of him, the faster she could forget about him. It was, of course, a false hope since she ended up thinking about him more, missed him more intensely than before.

All it did was make everything even more tense and awkward between them.

And she had dated to help herself out of the hole she had dug herself, letting her friends set her up with whoever they deemed good for her, desperately trying to have a life without the love of her life.

Mamoru had never been a social butterfly or all that outgoing, so she never had to concern herself with his dating life all that much, but she still had her moments through the years.

Like every time she got so ridiculously jealous at Ami when she hung out with him. It drove her up the walls and she knew they were discussing freaking medical journals and probably examining photos of open heart surgery, but it still caused such an ugly sensation to brew in her heart and she hated it.

Then there was that one girl that got caught up in a remless attack. It was the first girl she had ever seen him with, the first girlfriend. And when she had first seen them together at the park and the way Mamoru had cradled her in his arms, trying to cover her, she froze with the envy burning in her chest in the most ridiculous manner, and at the worst time, too. All the fight had drained from her body at the sight of them, and she became furious with herself for it because she got distracted. It caused her to get captured and wake up to his breath against her lips and panicked eyes wet with tears staring into hers.

Afterwards, she had started to practically stalk this mystery girl for a week. Badgering Motoki got her the information she needed and she was appalled to hear that it was Motoki who had set them up in the first place. In her right mind, she knew that he could date, after all she had dated, too, but it was the fact that he decided to be someone else's boyfriend that made her see red. She just had to know who this person was.

The girl even looked a little bit like her.

Normal, straight, blonde hair, but she had an air of elegance and beauty that Usagi could only dream about but never obtain. It's like she was the before picture and this Aoi girl was the after one.

It did puzzle her though that she never saw them go out on another date again, but she wasn't complaining about it one bit.

Then there was Seiya, the first person in a long time that had truly affected her. In the same way Mamoru's girlfriend had looked a bit like her, Seiya looked just a bit like Mamoru. He had been the first person to really give her hope again. Even if it didn't work out, maybe she could still move on if her heart really could beat fast for someone else.

Eventually he left, but not before promising that he would visit.

And then it was all over. All their duties had been fulfilled as guardians of the planet and they were free to live without looking over their shoulder and expecting the next threat.

The moment when peace had finally settled was when everything slowly began to unravel for her.

A weight had been lifted off everyone's shoulders, and with that, one by one, they found themselves finding their own lives away from hers which she supported even if it was taking a toll on her.

Haruka, Michiru, Setsuna, and Hotaru visited here and there on occasion, Ami had decided to travel to Germany for her medical program but promised that she would return, Mako and Rei kept busy with their own schedules and duties. So, Usagi decided to fall into a routine with Minako and moved in with her.

She hardly saw Mamoru anymore since there was no reason why he would willingly hang around her now. And suddenly she never thought she would miss having their senshi meetings so much.

Really, she should have been happy. Her life was normal again with a loving boyfriend, a good job she enjoyed, nice apartment, and friends she adored.

But, somehow, she had never felt more out of place.

"You get my point?"

"Get what point?"

"That we totally need to move apartments," Minako explained, shoving a mouth full of ice cream into her mouth.

Usagi raised her eyebrows. Usually Minako's wasn't this rash, and plus she really didn't feel like leaving that nice apartment. "Because this old flame of yours lives 3 floors down from us?"

"Yes, god," Minako mumbled, licking off the spoon. "Everytime I go into the elevator or get the mail, I have this horrible feeling that he's going to be there."

"But why is it so bad if you do run into him?" she asked, slipping her mouth around her straw.

The spoon popped out of Minako's mouth. "Because he's my person, you know."

"Your person?" Usagi repeated slowly.

"You know, that person."

"What person?"

Minako frowned. "You really don't know?"

"I guess not?"

Popping in another spoonful of the milky, frosted treat in her mouth, her friend explained, "That person, the person you can never get off your mind or the one that always pops into your mind once in a while because you really never got over them."

Oh. She definitely knew that feeling. She was way too familiar with it, in fact. "Oh, that person."

"Yea," Minako huffed. "Daisuke Suzuki is mine."

"Wow," Usagi said.

"Just the slightest thing could remind me of him and it's like I'm falling in love with him all over again," Minako continued.

Sometimes, she could be doing nothing and randomly, a memory would pop up. It could be one from their erased year, something as simple as a time when she cracked a joke and he smiled or laughed, and it twisted her heart. Or it could be a recollection from the Silver Millennium with Serenity and Endymion sneaking out during the night, and those just made her cry.

"Or when you see them, and you think you're over them but then your heart starts beating like you've run a marathon."

Mamoru always made her feel like her chest was gonna burst, but at the same time, she felt a tranquility within her, like she was where she needed to be.

"Or you still feel the ghost of their lips on your lips and skin."

She could only hold onto their first kiss as Mamoru and Usagi from the D-ball. It was the times of Serenity and Endymion that she conjured up late at night when she longed for him to have a place on her skin, in her room, her apartment, her life. The times that she could imagine Endymion's touches were Mamoru's instead and those same royal blue eyes would peek through the black fringe.

Sometimes, she created her own memories within reality, some as simple as seeing him at Crown would instead turn into him leading her into that back hallway and kissing her senseless, touching her body, and worshipping her. And after one of those night sessions, she'd cry and berate herself for willingly subjecting herself to that kind of torture, because it was always only her imagination.

"Come on Usagi," Minako whined, as their waiter dropped off another round of milkshakes. "Don't you have that one person, that one crush, that one inexpicable feeling you get when you're with that one person?"

She swallowed down her answer. "I don't know," she lied, her voice scratchy.

"If there's anyone who has one, it would be you," her friend countered, pointing. "You're the most loving person I know."

"Right," she whispered, thinking too hard and trying to force out all the reminders that she wasn't with who she wanted. "I guess I don't."

"Liar," Minako accused. "Everyone has that kind of past relationship or ex-lover."

Minako was wrong. She didn't have that person because the one that she did have was never her anything ever.

The street lights buzzed above her along the street. At 2 a.m., she had never seen such a silence along the roads of her city.

It was weird being out here and it was even more ridiculous as to why she was doing this in the first place. There was no way to know for sure that he continued to do patrols this late into the night anymore, so it was a long-shot really.

Even though all their loose ends had been taken care of within months after their battle with Galaxia, Mamoru was still the only one that insisted in continuing his overly frequent patrols around the city, arguing that there were plenty of human monsters out on the streets.

Wednesdays and Fridays, 10 p.m. to 3:30 a.m. and he had done it like clockwork, never missing a single shift.

She pulled her white cardigan tighter around her body as a chilly breeze blew through. God, why was she putting herself through this, why was she really here trying this hard to have a second with him.

'You have a fucking boyfriend that loves you and you're standing out in the middle of the night to see a guy who has no interest in you.'

Yup, she was an idiot. An addict that needed her fix before she went into withdrawal. Willing to walk around for an hour in the cold, darkened streets of Tokyo because…...

Because she missed Mamoru.

"What the hell are you doing?"

She jumped up with a yelp, spinning around to face him but instead saw nothing, just empty, silent air. 'What the fu-'

And there he was, standing on a freaking light post above her, black and red cape fluttering around him, eyes framed by that white mask, that suit that fit him like a glove because yes she'll admit that she had unabashedly checked him out over the years.

"Oh, hey," she called out casually, watching as he leaped down in that perfect way with bent knees and pointed feet that she could never master no matter how many times they practiced.

He stood a few feet from her and narrowed his eyes at her. "What are you doing here?"

"Out for some fresh air?"

"Usagi."

She sighed. "I needed to think and a walk sounded perfect."

He threw her a withering look. "At 2 a.m.?"

"Ever heard of night owls?"

"Really?"

She shrugged. "Well you're out right now."

"Yes, but that's because of-"

"-your patrols, I know, I know," she cut him off.

"But there's gotta be another reason why because patrols for one year and a half?" she questioned, eyebrows raised. "Really Mamoru?"

He sighed, changing subjects. "You need to go home. It's late and you need to go to sleep."

"Fine," she lamented, keeping her voice bored. "My building is just like a few miles away."

She spun around and started walking in the direction of her apartment, taking small, slow steps as she waited for the reaction. Well, the reaction she hoped for.

"Wait."

Ohhhh, mission accomplished.

"Yea," she said, turning back around, only to fall back one step when suddenly he was right in front of her and she could see his hardened, frustrated eyes.

"Let-can I-do you…."

She bit her lip to keep from smiling because it was so adorable seeing him struggle to say it. "Yea?"

"I-I can take you home," he stuttered, clearing his throat. "If you would rather?"

'YES.' "Sure."

His hand had slid up on her back, underneath her cardigan and behind her knees, his white gloves against her silk top and jeans. Her head fell against the crook of his shoulder as she encircled her arms around his neck and like some creepy, disgusting stalker, she took a few deep breaths in, smelling him. It broke her heart how much he felt and smelled like home.

The air rushed around them as he hopped from roof to roof, the medallion around his collar moving up and down in the air with his movements. Sometimes, he took a route through a few alleyways when there wasn't a clear path in the sky, and she prayed that maybe he would take the long way there so she could have just a little more time with him, feel his arms holding her, heartbeat pulsing through his neck against her wrist.

This moment was straight from her dreams, bounding through the sky in his arms like she was weightless in the air with the views of quiet, lit up Tokyo surrounding them. Her streams of hair floated around in the wind and she giggled as some of the locks would smack him against the face.

Tightening her arms around him, she squeezed her eyes shut when a familiar building flew past.

It was too fast! How were they already so near? She had purposely taken the furthest roads from her building to maximize this time and it still felt like it was five minutes ago when he had first picked her up.

It wasn't long after when his legs hit the floor of her balcony and she shot a look to her wrist watch as he landed. They had been soaring on the roofs of neighborhoods for 45 minutes?

An eternity could pass by and it would feel like an hour with him.

Slowly (a little too slowly, much to Usagi's delight) he lowered her feet to the ground and his gloved hands lingered a few extra seconds on her back as she stabilized herself. He stayed close, hands outstretched, probably scared she'll klutz out and go over the railing.

"Are you okay?" he asked, looking her over.

She breathed out a laugh at his worrying. "Yes, I'm fine."

He nodded, taking a step back but she took one forward the same time.

"Thank you," she whispered, taking that final leap of bravery she had been building and saving for days. She hopped onto her toes, leaning towards him, and observed how his eyes became wider and darker at her evasion of personal space.

Her lips just so grazed the corner of his mouth as she placed an innocent kiss on his cheek. She probably lingered a little too long, but eventually she hopped back down on her heels and moved away.

He breathed out a little too hard and his face remained flushed from the harsh wind that had hit him on their journey. "You're welcome," he pressed out, and his Adam's apple bobbed.

Then his face twisted into a confused look as he turned halfway to the railing.

"Rose vanilla..." he mumbled.

She frowned. "What?"

His eyes flew to hers, panicked and blinking fast behind the mask. "Uh, nothing. It's just your-your perfume."

It was her favorite after her grandmother gifted her the first bottle for her 16th birthday and she had only dusted some on herself tonight as a good luck trick, just in case. "What about it?"

"It's just-" His eyes looked to hers and he seemed to fight with himself, seemingly dismissing something before finishing. "It just smells really good."

"Thanks," she said, feeling pathetic at the way her heart jumped, because at least she smelled good and it was a compliment, right?

She spun on her heel, unlocking the balcony door and sliding it open.

"Usagi."

Her head turned to see him sitting on the ledge, readying to jump. "Yea?"

He sighed like he had just lost a battle. "I still do the patrols because it clears my head. Gives me a chance to do something else and keep my mind off of things."

Her eyebrows furrowed. "What things? You don't seem like someone who has a lot on their mind."

"You'd be surprised," he breathed out quietly. "Goodnight, Usagi."

And he flung himself off, cape trailing off her balcony before she could say the same thing back.

"Are you okay?"

Usagi blinked, the busy venue and Eiichi's concerned face swimming into her view. "Oh yea I'm fine, sorry."

"You sure?"

"Yes, totally," she reassured, squeezing his hand clasped in hers. "Did I look like I was spacing out again?"

"No, no," he said, shrugging his shoulders, "It just kind of seems you would rather be here with someone else."

She froze and her voice caught in her throat. "What?"

"I was kidding," he laughed, pulling her along with the line of customers in front of them. "Do you want the usual?"

"Sure," she croaked out. "I'll grab us a table."

It was date night, something she practically counted down to every week, because their schedules only lined up on stupid Thursdays. Eiichi always liked to explore new places and she was definitely up for trying new things, so it really was something to look forward to every week, getting a chance to go out with her boyfriend. This week, they were at some cute, quirky burger joint that, according to some food reviewer, made mind-melting milkshakes. No surprise, Usagi had decided to test the theory.

After taking a hearty sip of her frosty drink (scale from 1 to mind-melting, it was a solid 8) and throwing back a few french fries, she looked up at him while wiping at the ketchup around her smiling lips. "So, what did you want to talk about earlier?"

The nervous chuckle that came from his throat began to make her worried. "Alright."

He cleared his throat and slid his hand across the table to lace it through hers. "You know I love you."

A furious blush blossomed along her neck and face. "I do know."

"And we've been going out for a while," he went on. "Just celebrated one year last month and Usa, I couldn't be happier."

"Me neither," she said, even though her traitor of a heart thought otherwise.

He grinned. "And so I wanted to ask you Usagi Tsukino a very important question."

"Okay," she squeaked, confused and worried.

"I wanted to ask if you would…" he paused, licking his lips and squeezing her hand. "I want you to move in with me."

The blood drained from her face, she was sure of it, because her head started to feel tight and it was pounding. She swallowed hard as the milkshake taste turned to ash in her mouth and she gripped her milkshake a little tighter. "Really?"

"Yes," he smiled, looking at her as if she was the only girl he could ever look at. "Or uh, I want to move in with you? I'm not completely sure how the wording works but you get the point."

Her hands started shaking. "Right."

"I love you and seeing how we always go back and forth between apartments, I just wanted to see if you were maybe in the mindset to take the next step with me."

She hated that she had to think about it. Because he was perfect. He loved her, cooked for her, made her laugh, was so kind and patient, so open, so easy to talk to about anything. Eiichi was perfect in all the ways she had ever dreamed up and she actually had to think about her answer. It should be yes without hesitation. It should be yes to the person she loved because that's what you do with the people you love, right? You would love to be with them every second of the day, wake up to them, go to sleep with them and yet everything was telling her no.

"It's okay if you don't want to," he reassured, thumb stroking her wrist. "I just wanted to see where your head's at with everything."

Why couldn't she say yes, why couldn't she just finally move on. Why was this so fucking hard?

"I…" she trailed off.

"Like I said, you can say no," Eiichi repeated, concerned.

He was perfect but he didn't roll his eyes at her, never shot off snarky statements, didn't smirk obnoxiously, wasn't an adorable dork that loved to annoy her, didn't have the softest, most broken eyes she had ever seen.

"I just-" she was spiraling too fast.

How was she so stupid to think that she could move on? That it would be easy to forget him.

He was so perfect but he'll never be….

And now his voice radiated with panic. "Usa, what's wrong? Talk to me."

Her hand let go of his to cover her face, to cover the tears that were welling up in her eyes. She couldn't keep pretending, after years of keeping it all in and she was ready to let go because it was hopeless and wrong to continue like this when she knew there would be no one else.

And she felt Eiichi's arms wrap around her, his voice scared and alarmed, and she cried harder.

Usagi saw his eyebrows rise as he opened the door to her.

"Rei asked me to pick them up instead," she supplied before he even got to ask.

"Oh, okay," he answered, nodding his head. "Uh, come in."

She unlaced her sandals by the door as he went in the kitchen. Judging by the smell, he was cooking something delicious that made her stomach growl.

Smoothing down her yellow sundress, she padded into the spotless living room.

She rarely got chances to see his apartment nowadays. Senshi gatherings had been held here, it was where they regrouped before their final battles with Nehelenia and Pharaoh 90, and it's also where she had sealed her fate those years ago right at that door.

Nothing had really changed, same couches, same rugs, different coffee table, but same memories. He was still a dork with his alphabetized bookcases and pristine apartment with beautiful views of Tokyo.

"How are you doing?" he asked, his tone obviously monotone, as he always was with her.

"Fine. Just living, you know," she replied mindlessly, walking around the living room and watching as he resumed his chopping of carrots across the counter of his open kitchenette. "How are you?"

"Great, I was just making some dinner for myself," he explained, concentrating on cutting.

His desk was shoved in the corner of the room, books and papers organized neatly around his laptop and she spotted what was probably the stack of books she had been sent to retrieve.

"Those are the ones," he said, having seen where her sight must have gone. "Are you mailing them to Ami?"

She nodded stiffly. "Yea, part of our care package to her."

"That's nice," he answered. "How is she doing?"

She shrugged. "Adjusting."

"Oh, well, tell her I said hi."

She twisted her head around to look at him. "Don't you talk to her?"

He faltered. "I do, you're right," he lumped in the cut carrot into the pot on the stove. "I just haven't talked to her in a while since she's been busy."

"Oh," she breathed, walking over to the couch.

She could see him scrambling, trying to cook in peace, probably a little annoyed she had come over and she could understand. She had always barged her way through his life.

That awkward, tense silence they had mastered took place with the boiling of his food the only noise in the small space. His work ID tag hung on a little hook by the door and he was still wearing his light blue button up shirt with his tie loosened. She could just barely see his dress pants over the counter. He must have just come from the hospital a little ago.

"So, how's work-"

"I broke up with Eiichi," she cut in casually, because why not make it more awkward.

As always, his expression was unreadable but his eyes did flash in surprise. "Oh, I-I'm sorry."

"It's okay," she said, picking at a loose thread on one of his pillows. "We just wanted different things and it was mutual."

He nodded. "Well, you'll find someone."

She flinched at his bored tone. "I know."

'Leave, Usagi. Take the books and leave.' "I'll just grab the books and get out of your way."

"Uh, okay," he agreed, not looking up from his stew.

Shaking her head over her own stupidity at what exactly she thought was going to happen with her coming over, Usagi picked up the heavy stack of books from the desk, balancing them in the crook of her arm. Her eyes swept over the neat working area when a scribbled piece of paper caught her eye.

Usagi was against snooping - hello, huge invasion of privacy - but living with Minako had taught her that sometimes it's better to know than to be in the dark. And this was Mamoru, she needed to know.

So she swiped the packet off the desk and read it, with some words going over her head and others confusing her, but it had the word "application" printed on the first page and the pages that followed were completed in black ink with his name and information filled out in his handwriting.

Flipping through the papers, she saw Mamoru had answered all the questions. Front to back, everything was filled out. She scanned the first page again, trying to figure out what it was saying.

"Thank you for considering this program…will start this upcoming fall….please notify us if you have an up to date passport…...include references…...complete this form in black or blue ink….this program study will focus on the topics of neuroscience-

'A program study?' All this for a school program study?

It wasn't until she read the bottom of the page that her blood ran cold.

"Location of Study: Boston, Massachusetts, United States of America"

"What is this?" she croaked out, holding it up to him and moving closer to the kitchen window.

He glanced up, recognizing it and simply answered, "It's for a medical program."

She blinked, stunned at his reaction. "In America?"

"Yea."

"You're moving to America?" she sputtered, mind spinning. 'No, no, this can't be happening.'

"Well, I don't know yet," he defended, washing the knife clean and slipping it back into place on the wooden block.

"I'm thinking of sending in the application," he admitted calmly, as if he was just moving down the block and not half-way around the world.

"Thinking?" she hissed, much more harsh than she had intended. "The whole thing is filled out and done."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "I just wanted to keep my options open."

She gaped at him. He was going to keep the option of going overseas open.

"Oh." The shaking in her limbs started and she was crumbling so quickly, not even hiding the hurt within her voice. "You're okay with going away that far?"

Shutting the refrigerator door, he found her wavering gaze. "It'll be a good experience and I don't have much holding me here anyway."

He moved around the kitchen, cleaning up all calm and proper, while she stood on the other side, barely functioning at the thought of him leaving forever.

He was going to leave and never look back, she knew it. She would never talk to him again because why would they talk, why would he even care about her now that his job of protecting her was done.

"But why are you considering it," she spat, and didn't even cringe at how rude she sounded.

He flicked up those dark, blue eyes to her. "Is there any reason that you think I shouldn't go?"

Why was he doing this to her? Of course there were a million reasons why he shouldn't go and all of them were because she didn't want him to leave. All of them were about her because he can't do this, he can't leave.

She couldn't do it anymore. It was like she was right back where she had started on that night. Standing in front of him, watching as she lost him for the fourth time.

And everything she had built, instilled in her very being since that night, all rushed out of her, crashed down hard.

To her horror and relief, it wasn't easy to pretend anymore.

"Don't go."

He finally stopped moving and really looked at her. "What?"

She took a deep, steady breath in. "Don't go."

He stared wide and confused.

"You can't stand there and just tell me you're going to leave and expect me to just go along with it," she continued, voice raising in volume and confidence.

"Usagi-"

"No," she cut him off. "Please don't leave."

He kept staring and she kept going.

"I can give you a million reasons to not go and all of them are that I don't want you to leave," she cried, the wetness behind her eyes beginning. "You're wrong when you say you're not leaving anything because you're leaving me."

And it all started coming out so easily.

"I lied. Back when we-when we remembered. I don't agree with you. I know I should. I know it was right for you."

His mouth hung open.

"But I don't," she confessed, the first tears making their presence known down her cheeks. "I've pretended all this time that I'm okay with the fact that you don't want me."

She breathed out, heart pounding harder than ever. "I can't pretend anymore."

His face stayed in a mix of confusion and something she couldn't read because it was Mamoru and he was never open.

"Eiichi asked me to move in with him," she choked out. "And I broke up with him because I don't think I could ever move in with him. That's why I broke up with him, because I couldn't forget about you-it was because of you."

She couldn't stop.

"I walk around in the middle of the night just for a chance to see you," she rushed out. "I do it on purpose because I miss you and I know you go on these stupid patrols so I can at least see you."

"And god, I can't pretend that I don't love when you make stupid jokes, or how you used to call me Odango, or pretend that I wasn't totally going to ask you to my stupid school festival in high school, or when I used to literally wait all day for you at the Crown, or-or-"

Her mind was overflowing because it was everything about Mamoru, everything about him that she loved.

Because Mamoru who always had that smirk for her, Mamoru who made her stomach flip in weird ways, Mamoru who was the biggest dork ever, Mamoru who called her Odango and only had a nickname for her and no one else, and now Mamoru who was about to leave her.

"When we remembered I thought I finally had a shot but you still didn't feel the same even after the memories and I didn't know what to do," she cried. "Because I've loved you forever."

She shook her head. "Before the memories, before Serenity and Endymion-I've loved you, Mamoru Chiba, for years."

He just stood there, remained silent, disbelieving, wide-eyes and she got mad all over again.

She sniffled, tasting the salt of her tears as she looked straight into his speechless eyes. "And I'm tired of pretending that I don't love the shit out of you and have for years!"

"But now you want to leave and what the fuck am I supposed to do," she sobbed, a hand going up to run through her bangs. "And-and maybe that's it. Maybe this is finally what I need, for you to leave."

Then his face changed, something panicked.

"Maybe I'll finally move on if you're gone," she continued, breathing heavy.

His mouth finally opened. "Usagi-"

"So maybe you should leave."

"Wait Usagi-"

"Just go, go to America!" she cried, wiping the remaining tears away and making the turn to go to the door. "They're going to love you there and I know you'll do great."

"No, Usagi what-"

She fumbled with her dumb, strappy sandals, hearing his rapid movements behind her. She opened the door with shaking hands before his own hand flew out next to her head, stopping the door from opening all the way.

New, hot tears cascaded down her face. He couldn't even let her go with some dignity, be free having finally told him all the deep, locked up things she couldn't even have said to herself before he left her. And he wanted to fucking talk about it, humliate her even further.

"Usagi," he whispered, voice raspy and….scared?

She let his hand push the door closed. He sounded out of breath, as if he had been the one confessing all of his love, and it moved the little hairs on her bare neck.

His body pressed against her, long and hard and what she wouldn't give to fall back on it.

His lips moved along her ear and she shivered. She had never heard his voice sound so vulnerable. "What did you say?"

The End.

Antigone2 said she liked angsty/open endings so I wanted to leave it like that. You guys can imagine whatever your little heart desires on what happens next. Thank you to everyone again for reading and while you're reading fanfic, check out all the other exchange fics or artwork submitted on Tumblr! So much great fandom content! (go to UglyGreenJacket's tumblr and search up the tag usamamospringexchange2k20 on her blog)

Let me know what you guys thought! See you on the next story!